TRASHFUTURE - Captain Gatso and the Hypertension Cowboy

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

We discuss some UK-centric news this week, with a brief return to an American startup we’ve previously covered that—in the hopes of destroying school bus drivers’ unions—created Uber for school buses and may have facilitated a mass abduction? Or the world’s largest school bus traffic jam? We also uncover some archival footage of a certain 1980s Dutch pop band that went through some hard times in the early ’90s. If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Welcome to BBC Indiana. This program is music through time. The year was 1990. After 11 years in power, Margaret Thatcher's government was facing one of its deepest domestic crises yet, the poll tax riot. But amid all this, our story begins across the English channel and up the coast in Rotterdam. After a flush period of hits on the UK and Netherlands charts, Dutch band Johannes von Kent the Clogheads were facing a financial ruin. In an early 1989 interview, Clogheads keyboardist

Muhammad Sharibi made an off-the-cuff remark about disliking pea soup and smoked sausage. By mid-1989, the C clog heads faced a boycott of their records and legal action from the Dutch soup makers union, all of which coalesced into a movement called the air-to-soup altruists. Look, he's comments about soup run wise to say the least, but he was now a spoken guy. He once almost got us kicked out of a branch of Feyboyn, rather than for saying the cheese sandwich and a glass of milk

was a meal indicative of the joyless spirit of the low countries. But the soup thing really caused us problems. We couldn't play anywhere, from mistricted then hog, even the Belgians were mad at us. Show, we went back to the UK. It couldn't have come at a worse time for Vonk, as their record label was threatening legal action if they didn't deliver a new record by the first of September 1990. They'd nearly exhausted their studio budget, and there was simply no way to record anywhere in the Netherlands without finding their cars vandalized, their studio blockaded, their engineers covered in lukewarm pea soup. We'd work with Richard Heishmuth many times before, and he had a studio in London, but he was going through some legal and personal difficulties at the time.

Sir Richard Heismith, Vonk's friend and confidant, was in a coma following a case of carbon monoxide poisoning after a surprise pop-up concert inside the Channel Tunnel construction site, an idea intended to generate publicity for a comeback tour that ended in the biggest cocaine bust in British history. I could never understand the cocaine thing. So Richard claims he knew nothing about the 50 kilos of pure cocaine in his speaker case, which was being smuggled through the tunnel to France. But none of it made any sense. Why would you smuggle cocaine from the UK to France?

Who does cocaine in France? Why was this search Gansbord's personal collection? Richard Heismith was eventually acquitted on all drug smuggling charges on the basis of a lack of evidence. This was a separate case to the one brought in 1993 by the Indonesian government relating to a jar of quay ludes found on his personal plane when it landed at Jakarta Airport. Anyway, show Richard is out of action, but then we meet this guy, a lord of the realm, and he says he wants to fund our album. We play this new song for him, Hot Soup.

We were hoping it would smooth things over back home. Anyway, the guy loves it. And he shares, he'll pay for the album on one condition. The song should be called Hot Tori. Shall I say, watch a Tori? He said a British soup, and he says, no, it's the current party of government and the natural popular, and the needy younger,

Shakespeare image. The man in question was the late Alfie Hammington, or Lord Ham. Known today more for, it's too late to matter his unsuccessful 1999 public relations campaign to make it legal to smoke in hospital. He was concerned that the unpopularity of the Tories during the Paul Tax Riot was the reason

his nephew, Chris Binhammington, now the conservative MP for Hitchin and Harpenden found himself perpetually dateless. The whole thing was crazy, but at this point, we'd take anything. This guy watched me to record a song so his nephew can get laid and then he'll fund the whole album. I'm from the Netherlands. I'll fuck your nephew myself if I have to.

And it was the subsequent single, 1990s Hot Tori, that brought the clog heads back to financial stability. Kept out of the number one slot only by New Order's World in Motion, the song revivified their balance sheet and facilitated the recording of their now classic best-selling 1991 album We're Sorry. Here it is. Showing off the sign of ring and looking at me Hot story, hot story Watching the sun back here and you watching my night

Hot story, hot story You said you made me angry if I wasn't prepared Hot story, hot story Your brothers in the house of cavalry Your bowed days and two plates spread Tender magazine You're about a day to two-page spread, you're 10th magazine Hot sorry, hey, hot sorry, job was an above a code Hot sorry, hey, hot sorry, your parents house has a moat

You got a game of trust and a painting of that shirt But it's the inconvenient part Hard story you could privatize my heart Wow, which sure has been a long time since we heard from the clockheads. It really, it really has. It has been a little while, but you know, it's important to, you know, hear from our musical Impressarios from the 80s every now and then. Check back in, check in on your clocks. Would we suggest that the reason it has been a couple of years since we, or maybe 18 months or whatever, since we uncovered one of the old, real to real tapes, because the production

values continue to go up and up and up because we realize that the more professional it is, the funnier it is as a premise. And also, it's up heaval in the warehouse. I'm not going to let no one wants to work anymore. That's all I'm saying. The guys, a lot of the guys we've had clearing out the warehouse, they quit after COVID, they've all taken jobs working for UPS, And it's hard to get people to on earth, Dr. Femma, as a child.

So we had to get a 19 year old at National Service to find this for us. That's right. Yeah. But no, no, no, no. Thank you very much, of course, to the clog heads, wherever you are for providing us with another wonderful bit

of interim music and work- And well-related. Very relatable content as well. I will say it's one of the most relatable clockhead songs that I've heard for some time. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's something close to all about hearts. Here at Trashie, it's your towers.

I also want to welcome myself back from my holiday. Yeah. I hope that the, to you two all the listeners, I hope that. Yeah, Riley's back from beating a man to death with an or on a rowing boat and assuming his identity. It may be worse than that, because my original joke for this was Hitman levels

and everything that you've told me since getting back leads me to believe that you did in fact just go to a series of Hitman levels. I fully experienced something you could call like Hitman, Tuscan Sun, DLC, Pat. Like every single thing I did from the wedding venue to the town I was staying in, it's like the little wine tour that I went to,

it was chest high walls everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say like further, it's like the merger game. It's the Hercule Poirot expansion pack for Hitman 2. Where Riley is in the bit where Poirot comes around and attempts to disentangle who was killed and why. The other thing is like where everything was full of little cubbies, the town I was staying in.

You got all those head injuries. You get waking up and stuffed into lockers. But that was like clothes. Yeah, yeah. The town I was staying in near where the wedding was. I was like, one of these old hilltop towns, like these medieval towns. And because it's on top of a hill,

there's like one kind of main street that just loops around it and around it kind of spirals up. And it just so happened to be there when they had their like annual Italian town festival thing You know like Sienna has the palio whatever they have something called their version of it is called the Bravio della Boti Which is where a bunch of guys from the town Race wine barrels up the entire

Corkscrew road that goes up the whole thing. Up. Yeah. So that rolling them out? Yeah, they're rolling the barrels up. And it's like, the little, the historic quarters of the village compete with one another. I assume they're empty. Yes. And Agent 47, I could imagine this,

like in the Hitman to Tuscan Sun DLC pack, one of the levels has a mini-game, where you have to, one of the levels, you have to roll the barrel up, taking the identity of one of the guys. And then you kill the guy by putting explosives in the barrel when you reach the finish line. It's perfect.

Yeah, I mean, he's like pre-tenanturally the best barrel roller in the world, even though he's never tried it before or learned how to do it. Yeah, it's just like Jason Boat. He can just do anything. Anyway, you can roll a barrel. My new favorite kind of wine is green and fizzy,

and I really hope I find my clothes on monster energy. Yeah, that's right. But, you know, it's good to be back here in the studio, doing the podcast and not getting my head hit with by a bald man with a barcode in the back of his neck and stashed behind a chest. There were so many chest high walls that I can't emphasize that to you enough.

Yeah, they had their first dance under a really big low chandelier, suspended by a single sort of like oversized chain. Yeah, yeah, the groom kept like talking loudly on his phone while leaning over a really precipitous window sill looked out over a clip. It was up a big hill too. There was so many Hitman elements.

But we're back and we're gonna talk about the damn news. We survived two whole episodes of me being your understudy. I listened back, they were very good. And Hitman, but the Hitman thing was very perceptive. It's more Hitman than Mr. Ripley. So. Well, that's exactly what Mr. Ripley would say is the thing. If you had been Mr. Ripleyed. I want to talk a little bit about school because it's time for school again.

And abruptly changing the topic, something else, the Mr. Ripley. So 156 schools and colleges across the UK have just now received a warning that they have been using something called R. double AC or reinforced autoclave aerated concrete and that the warning for the Department for Education basically said, hey, we know that it's school on Monday. But if you have these blocks in your buildings, then you can't have kids in them. Yeah, so basically what happened is one of the kids who did not want to go to school when they started back and was like manifesting actually is a witch. Like one of the Zoomer TikTok kids actually does have powers and this has just happened

now as a result because schools closed. Yeah, this is, this means they basically, right? Several hundred schools up and down the country are now having to just not happen because they have not been funded to exist and they've just been decided, let's have, we have had mafia standard construction

without mafia standard food, basically. Ah, yeah, yeah. For too long. Yeah, we didn't have any of the like Tuscan scenery. If you wanna get pushed off a balcony in this country, it's not gonna be anywhere near as aesthetic. But you need to replace it with a won't concrete. That's the all the explanation I have for this.

British Mafia is a very funny concept. Why don't you run down to the corner shop, give me a dinner beans, I'm making dinner. I'm making beans on toast. But a fan, your grandmother's coming around. In prison dinner was a big deal. Yeah, yeah. So basically, right, like this is, it means that like schools have been told with like a day, like a weekend to prepare, not even a long weekend, just a normal weekend to prepare. You might have to teach everyone in the playground. Yeah, because otherwise this sort of 1970s concrete is just gonna crumble and collapse

and just like kill a bunch of kids. Yeah. I love to teach everyone in the playground. Can we have, that'll be the refrain this year, it'll be like, sir, can we have class inside today? No, Timmy, I'm afraid it's very dangerous in there. The fix for this, by the way, is literally just putting in sort of like building site or mining style joists and just like bracing everything up, which is again, the sign of a sort of a country

that's in a good place when your kid has to go to school in like down the pit. You could also introduce like the staple of British education, which is the moldy, the moldy portacabin. The portacabin, yeah, the command back. I went to a very like seemingly like a school with lots of like old buildings, none of which were particularly useful. And there were two years where all my lessons took place

in portacabins. So did I, we had portacabins. I went to like a public school, we had portacabins also. So if they're, you know, ubiquitous even to the extent of reaching reaching that level, if you're going to school, it was like built out of concrete in the sixth, because you have no chance. Put the kids in the port of cabins, get them to learn about concrete. Get Tom Hardy to teach them. He learned a few things from, from the great film about concrete. But only thing I know about concrete, which apparently was completely wrong,

according to a concrete forum I went on afterwards. A concrete forum? Not only these theoretical forums. Well, nothing about concrete is I went on afterwards. A concrete forum. Not only these theoretical forums. Well, nothing about concrete is setting stone per se. No, they were so mad about a poor one out. They were so mad about that forum because they were just like, no, like it wasn't the C for concrete. The C free concrete was fine, actually.

Riley's weeping on my shoulder. We're back. We're back. We're back. I just completely messed it because I'm just on a concrete path. So yeah, get the kids to do the concrete job. That's what they do to guys in the British mafia give them the old concrete cars.

Yeah. Let's just shieh sleep with a shopping trolley at the bottom of the canal. I was gonna say the most, the most British building thing, tangentially relevant that I heard recently, I got talking to these various like Essex Geeser comedians and this one huge Welsh fella who were all doing their first go at the fringe, they were all in terrible free fringe venues.

And this Welsh guy, the ten-times, they're like, oh yeah, as your venue then, and he goes, well I have to say, it's bloody peculiar, because I went in there, some kind of perforate and I talked into the landlord and he shows me in my room, I'm like, it's a bloody weird room, that is pretty cute little room. And I say, what do you normally use this room for then? And he goes, well, we don't normally use it at all. There's this best toss in there. Oh, how fantastic. Perfect. And it just wouldn't have worked not in that voice, but it was it was perfect. So I'd say though that this for me once again, right? I think we can see a little bit of the future of Britain here,

which is that as time goes on, the entire country is just gonna move more and more things into Porticabins. There's like nothing that's a new build now is gonna be like usable in 60 years. Yes, but in the Porticabins. So we're gonna get the Gurkhan Porticabin, we're gonna get the Shard Porticabin,

the House of Halimapoticabins. That's gonna be in the Porticabins, where you can get the Shard Port of Cabin, the House of Halmapala. They're going to be in the Port of Cabin. Yeah. Easy. You're also going to have like, well, that built a VHSBC building, the Nairy Wolf about to be empty. Port of Cabin. So you could just turn that into a big Port of Cabin.

Port of Cabin is literally like, it was supposed to just be an office for people on building sites and then it sort of became, yeah, now you live here and also most of your education will take place here. Oh you got into like a fancy Oxford college well here's his Christ College in a portacabin. Yeah. Fun. The official Christ College portacabin. I went to portacabin Oxford. Yeah.

It's just there on Porticabin Meadow. Yeah. There you go. Thank you very much. Yeah. So I look forward to like, if you wanted to write a young adult science fiction series about the future of Britain, you could just be like,

all buildings are forbidden. Life takes place in Porta Cabins. Oh, I was actually at Pizza Cabin. Thank you. Where? So I wanna move on though. Another school topic, although this one is revisiting an old friend.

You might not remember because we talked about it last in 2021, but we had a long segment about a Silicon Valley startup company that tried to reinvent the bus called Zoom. Zed you with a new mod over at M. Oh, heavy metal. Zoom. Zoom. Zoom. I don't remember this because I, you know, I don't remember anything that I've said or

any of you have said it on an episode after we finish recording it. So. Yeah, of course. So basically to remind you, right, it is Uber for buses and it was a kind of a, let's say, union unfriendly exercise that was run out of San Francisco cost. Costs. Costs like the Oakland unified school Dristricht quite a lot large amount of money and the whole thing was oh, yeah

Parents can like track where the bus is but the main thing is that like all of our drivers are you know our drivers are employees But we bring them in from all around the world all around the country anyway, etc. etc. So anyway uber for school buses God a contract to Howard County schools, which is in Maryland. And so this is from an article that came out this week in the Howard County Observer. This is local journalism. Thousands of Howard County public school students were stranded with how to yellow bus ride to school for a second day in a row after a California tech company, Zoom hired to solve transportation issues, couldn't provide buses for 20 routes

for at least the first week of school. So it is a Uber for buses, because you just can't get one. Yeah, that's right. Maybe if you're a shitty kid, you get a low rating, you can't get one. That is very funny. You're like throwing stuff at the back of the bus,

and you get like a one star. It's a bus with no back, no bad kids. Yeah. That would be cool if you got on a bus down and the guys like giving get like a one star. It's a bus with no back, no bad kids. Yeah. That would be cool if you got on a bus down and the guys like giving you like bottles of water and breathments and like telling you about the price of property and caracel or something. That would be fun.

Zoom promised to transform student transportation in Maryland and beyond with an app design to let parents track buses in real time. And with a three year, $27 million contract to operate nearly half the district's bus routes. But but and when Alice and I talked about this earlier we thought this was really fun. Problems began early on the first day of classes when 200 buses tried to squeeze out of one parking lot at the same time causing the like it's amazing. They did the Mr. Burns jump thing in real life.

Yeah, they have essentially hired 200 stuages to drive their buses. Well, that kind of turns out to be more true than not as we'll get into. And there didn't appear to be enough bus drivers and the number of routes. Even after the company said it had flown in drivers from other locations all around the country. Yeah, this was the detail that fascinated me, the bus stooches, because I just imagine

the glamorous jet set lifestyle of a freelance school bus driver, that you're sort of like you're being flown in from out of state in order to like do a little job. So the jerk van der Kllaug of school buses. Now I've been hard to drive this hill. I just bought a contract to do that voice when jerk Vanderklaug was teed up on the table. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I feel like joke Vanderklaug would be a slightly different vibe like a driver bus.

Yeah. I've not had to do that since I'm going to be in 72. I tell you what, some, and they never drive a bus again after that. So, so they basically, this is what so zoom does, they fly in all, they fly in like the 18 of bus drivers from all around the country. You think they would be like the best asset

because, you know, as you say, the A-team. Yeah, but then of course also it's like just told basically, go from here to here, make this time, no coordination, no one knows the city. Do you? They just dropped in a bunch of yellow bus drivers who've never been there before and are like, figure it out. Do you remember that sort of like anti-globalization thing that did the rounds years ago? Still crops are occasionally where it's like the package of like canned pineapples or whatever.

Where it's like these were grown in Brazil, packaged in Japan, bought in the US, and then it's like a map of like we shipped these from here to here to here. Well, in this case, it's like, no, we flew in a guy from across the US in order to drive your kid like, I don't know, like 10 blocks to school. But badly. Yes. Yeah. Well, we flew in a guy from across state to not drive your kid 10 blocks to school.

So some buses arrived at bus stops 20 to 30 minutes late with parents reporting that single buses were carrying students who frequently attended different schools and didn't know one another. Drivers appeared to not know anything about the routes and children were frequently left to walk home. Some buses delivered students home as much as an hour late or not at all. This is an edgy... I just thought you never see your child again. You let her still out by the way. Yeah. They put some like fucking French bus driver on the route and there's a bunch of kids starting their new life in Montpellier now. Well, look at what this is. Are you familiar with like Edward Gory comics?

Sure. No, it's one of these guys, they're just like goth comic drawing where it's sort of unfortunate things happening to Victorian children. Like Melvin Melvin Melville likes to go to the mill. Now Melville has been milled and it will be- You're a Melvin boy for the like Halebelloq for the sort of British analogy.

You're a British terrorist house. Pictures of grim things happening to sort of haunted looking children. The sort of thing we now call official government policy. Am I right? Is it? Oh my god, you do have news for me. That's it. We're getting on radio for all the producers listening. These are the kind of gags I can write.

You could also see this, I think, as like a kind of Salat combo delivered to a school district by a bus company. Just getting, just getting punched on every surface of your body. All the ones. Yeah, just how I about looking for a rhyme for Paul to cabin, you know. So a parent followed her middle school daughter's bus yesterday to make sure it got to the school. Okay, they have a map. Yeah, that's two things. First of all, you have the app so you don't have to do that and it's meant to be like Uber and you can see where Uber is. But second of all, even though this proves to be justified, that's slightly helicopter parenting. Well, yeah, because we're now getting into the alien versus predator

of company that is trying to work out how to operate a bus service from first principles versus Bay Area parents. No, this is a Baltimore. Maryland. I mean, still though, like following your kid's school, my parents used to throw me off a cliff to get to school. You know, just like crashing and throwing all the way to the top. We lived on top of the top paying rock. And I went to school in a forum.

My father would throw it off the top paying rock every day. Never did us any home. Yeah, it was a top hay and prep. Yeah. I, you know, I had to avoid busy golfs on my way, on my way to the school all the way every day. Never did many home. Yeah.

I was told bar greaks, I what if he was a nonce. That's just, you know what that is? That's just the history boys. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. So also, I actually don't, if the parent knew anything about Zoom, they're totally reasonable of me like, I have no way of knowing where my daughter is going to be at the

end of this. She could be joined up with a French foreign Legion, I have no idea. Of course, if you don't follow the law, just do it with the go. So to Ukraine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your daughter is good at Fortnite and is now piloting a drone over the time pass.

But she followed the bus and it's hard drive over a crashy median, dividing two trains of traffic. Oh, great. They're just like, I like that also. Not only are they bus drivers who don't know the area, they're also people who cannot drive. Like, I love like the levels of just like, look, we're trying to come at this.

We don't want people coming at driving a bus with any bad habits. So, we want to make sure they don't know the area at all and also that they've never driven a vehicle before. It's like, it's not even the 80s anymore. This is more like the bus dirty dozen, where it's like they didn't play by society's rules. And now they've had to be formed into like a special unit, you know?

I think you could call it the inglorious bustards. Oh, thank you. It's a very nice episode. Yeah, the radio for, there is coming soon. Yeah, BBC, I am available. Yeah. I'm not available. I'm not available. I'm extraordinarily busy. But also it's very, it's like this is just like, you know that the movie about the gamer

who becomes the race car driver. This is the movie about the same thing, but a guy who played a lot of Grand Theft Auto online becoming a school bus driver. Yeah, when you're like 15 and you get really, really bored playing GCN, then you just start just driving a bus normally. There is a solution to the problem, though, which is that you could just take the wheels off the bus and turn into a board cabin. That's the school. That's what that, yeah. I can make it in school. Or you teach the kids, and I'll buy

teach, I put that very loosely, it could be like at least 10 minutes of like quizzes or whatever, to drive the bus, they're going to school and they're getting marketable skills at the same time. What if every student drove their own bus? Yeah, they know it's on camera. And then they can help other people get where they're going. They've got like a route to drop off people going to work on their way to school. We've finally found another public service that we've gone, we can use people

from the town for this. Now every city bus is driven by kids on their way to school. If you want to get a bus in school hours, no, you can't. It's over. Yeah. Yeah. Look, we're beyond people from the town now. We can't afford people from the town. We need children from the town. Children from other towns. Yeah. Also, Alice, I want to like follow this to its conclusion, right? If you, if the, all the children drive the buses on the way to school, that means there's one bus run early in the morning, then all the buses stop at school. The kids go to school. And if you want to get somewhere that's not the school, you get on the school bus, wait around at the school parking lot all day. And then you get on the correct bus that was another child will drive home.

That's why it's the most English policy because it provides a normal reason to hang around in the school parking lot in the evenings. I have a little more on this. Ben Schmidt, president of the Howard County Education Association, the teachers union, was observing arrivals one morning when nobody showed up. What if we had a school and nobody came? Yeah. And this is a quote from him.

And what made things more interesting that I've never seen in my 25 years was that then a van pulled up and the only thing that I could say to describe what this van looked like was that it looked like something used by a contractor and out of a jump three or four children. Oh, no. I'm like, we blew van man, picked up some kids on the way to school.

We genuinely put your kids in the anonymous van. We flew out of the 150 bus drivers from all over everywhere. And then we put them all in buses at the same time, and said, go, they all crashed into each other, and they left the parking lot and so we just did a kind of like like a like a done Kirk evacuation of just anybody with a car just get some kids in there. Well, we came up with a genius solution, you know, most of Peter files they've got vans. So what we did was we drafted them in as emergency bus drivers meaning they're now unable to

non-stake because they're too busy driving them to school, rather than from school to some kind of nons in location. And also, we don't need bus drivers because the pedophiles will do it for free. You know when some public service, some public service collapses and they're like, are they brought in the army to do it? And there's a bunch of photos of like guys from the Royal logistics core or whatever driving fire engines, you'd hate to see that with Peter Files. Like they've drafted the sex offenders. You need to have some kind of like an explosive collar or whatever you sit in. Like the British, the British suicide unit. Like a bunch of guys in like sort of cardigans with holes in them and stuff, driving them.

The really dirty doesn't. Like guys, like it's like Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitzer and people being being sent on some like suicidal raiding mission in occupied Normandy. It would actually be perfect because Savile's got the fucking cigar. They're always has to be one guy with everyone else is in camo and he's just in a trax suit and he's like, now, then, now, then, now now then. Is there an ethical quandary brought up by the idea of Jimmy Savo non-sing the Vafan SS? Like, is that something that was sort of uncomfortable?

Yeah. So I finished this. This is probably one of my favorite names I've read in a while, not because it's terrible, but it's cool. Local resident Kurt Francisco, which is a seller door name. It just sounds good. Everyone listening at home on the count of three, like 23rd century cyber cop Kurt Francisco said.

On the count of three, if you're listening to this episode and everyone here say it with me and you Nate editing it, just say it aloud. One, two, three. Cut Francis' go. Oh, it sounds good. It is not. Yeah. Yeah, it does sound like, it's like the name of a character in a sketch.

Like it doesn't feel like a real guy. Well, like someone David Mitchell made up in order to tell a joke about the KKK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the most recent Michelin web sketch I've seen. It would be like a loose, you know what? It would be like a character name that an idiot in a sitcom would come up with

for a movie they were writing. A fake name coming up with by Joey Tribionny. Yeah, is that the thing? And I play Kurt Francisco. Well, like that. This poor guy who's just like presumably not involved as just like catching straights from a podcast is like really that that in itself is a little bit trashy

to be honest to be like you are as far as you know an ordinary man who happens to be named Kurt Francisco and you like find out that people are making fun of your name. They should have called you that. I'm sorry. Either of those two names in isolation fine, but together. But together they just sound good.

Yeah. Kurt Francisco. So we're making fun of his name because we're jealous. It's like his mom comforting him at the school game. Find those bullies on the podcast and just jealous. Come from your beautiful name. Come from him at the school gate before he bullies on the podcast are just jealous. Come from your beautiful name. Come from him at the school game before he's flatched by a fall in the box.

It's a tremendous name. The losers on the trash, your chip podcast. They said, go French, they're school, go French, it's a fake name that like a Nazi war criminal would use in

Argentina or possibly in Howard County, Maryland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, stop defending this guy. He's actually escaped. He barely escaped Jimmy Savo's raid on Sonna's air. Yeah, he's actually 120 years old. 120 year old Nazi war criminal cut and sis yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, legally speaking, Kirk Francisco is not enough to work

there was no evidence that yes, the government's as good as secret lead after Joseph Magley Kirk Francisco saw zoom I can't hey saw zoom bus pull into his north north,

north laurel neighborhood and stop yesterday and he took about himself to walk over and ask the driver if they were driving his fourth graders route yeah he he he went over to the door and he went like it up here a bit uh... he said that the driver was fumbling through paper maps and said he wasn't from the area

and that's a lot of the discovered when he said good luck to the driver and the driver said thank you in English. It's gonna work from the area. Zoom had flown him in from Spokane, Washington, literally the other side of the country. Amazing. Incredible. So last. This was the last show after I was announced by Jimmy Savolyn

in 1943. This is sort of like a chaotic, balthazar sort of energy to it, this is sort of like a chaotic, balthasar sort of energy to it, this recording. I think it's because the Zoom story is so slapstick. Personally, it really is. It's like, it's so upset. Like, why, why have they flown in the drivers from the other side of the country?

It doesn't make any sense. No, it's just clearly just trying to keep a plate spinning but sort of knocking over everything around yourself as you do it and then the plate falls over anyway. It's very cram, it's a scheme that cram it would come up with. There's some kind of arbitrage opportunity to make money by getting the contract for the school buses,

but then every step in the plan is more insane than the law. So I wanna move on past the news, and onto something that I think builds on another topic you all were talking about, which is you lezz forage the blade runners in net zero. Yeah, I was so grassified to find the blade runners. So you talked about blade runners and I didn't I'd understand like are they are they worried that some of the cameras are human like or pretending to be human like you can only be a camera on the off-world colony.

There could be a nuns. Yeah. Listen, I this is so clearly a sort of civil disobedience group founded in like a golf club in seven oaks. And so a hundred percent they went, this is some kind of future dystopia. What's a sci-fi film I've heard of? It's like Blade Runner. I assume the good

guys in Blade Runner are called Blade Runners. They should call themselves like the ex-mashingers or the hers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're the loopers. Yeah, yeah, we're killing the cameras at me, but from the future. I think actually, yeah, maybe the camera could be announced. Well, I'll let my child drive my car sometimes, and then the camera could be taken a picture of him, making it technically a nuns. Yeah, but the child is driving the bus to school and the camera caught them.

That child would be in trouble for not having the right U-Layer certificate. These cameras don't know how easy they've got it, right? They're there, taking pictures of kids on the roadside. They should be glad we did in World War II. They should be drafted into an elite unit of dangerous Peter Files and used to attack Woffan SS positions well behind enemy line. Do you want to do the screenplay treatment for the very dirty dozen after this?

I do remember fucking like a Woffan SS officer just opening his post and being like, That's obviously just opening his post and being like Shies as they caught my motorcycle on the U-Less cameras again How the fuck does this give So overstorm for us going to be furious The Reich will be unable to pay its fuel bill 12 pounds 50 and we all use Boundon You just hear it from the office We all use both of... Sponsored...

...boundon. Are you just hearing it from the office? Yeah, I mean, you know who else wanted to commute from outer London into central London was the Nazis after having landed on the beaches. That's correct. So the blade rudders attacking U-Las cameras. There's also more to it, right? You sort of touched on this, but more has come out about it in that time.

And what I wanted to do was sort of use this as a way to talk about how like the opposition to net zero, well, it's intellectually and coherent is very, very socially coherent. And like, it's just warning. It's just warning. I mean, it's going to, we're going to have some, some jolais-john moments in the future that, you know, we kind of are already, but like more so, which are, which is going to be fun. And how they're going gonna kind of snap into a political, into a ready-made political constituency

that are just going to lockstep do things as told by TalkTV. And the director of the Blade Runners, a man calling himself, my love, Dubrae's yourself for this one. Captain Gatso. Oh, amazing. So the Gatso is like a brand of speed camera. This is a fucking communicate from like a commandante Gatso. He's got a man calling himself

Kurt Francis. He's got like the Balak lover and the pipe. He's like, he's like on the back of a horse. Oh, like the Zorro of speed cameras. I was thinking we're like the zappetistas. I've seen out of London zappetistas. That would be cool if he was carving a big zed into the back of like E. Les cameras. So, so right Captain Gatto, defend again, as we say, this is a revolution born in a Seven Oaks golf club. Yeah, absolutely. I'm really interested too.

There's a sort of like inflection point as to, as we know, Captain is the only rank. It's a cool thing to call yourself, but like, is he adopting this on the basis of like a superhero which is more of your sort of like fathers for justice, you keep kind of like rabble rousing bullshit thing. Or is he calling it that in the kind of like UDA paramilitary sense? In which case something has like changed an outlook quite considerably?

Well like, he's trying to take the man's love Captain Tom and he wants his own like, Onsen. He wants to get so onsen. Captain Gatsso On Sen is like a fucking cult Francis goes boss at the cybercops. Yeah, yeah, and arrayed it, arrayed to get on the on the side of Captain Gatsaw, you've got the U-Lez Defense Force and you've got the U-Lez Volunteer Organization, but defending the U-Lez, you've also got the U-Lez, the Provisional U-Lez, the real U-Lez. So Gatsso defended the group's image on Talk TV when asked by presenter Julia Hartley Brewer

how the group justified the legal destruction of cameras. Gatsso said, and again, it's important to note, he's not being yelled over, he's not being dismissed. Well, maybe the problem was, like whenever they've had anyone from like just stop oil on, they needed to have the kind of like middle-aged, very divorced man histrionics of calling yourself Captain Gatso, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that after that have to be called like Captain Vegan or something. Yeah. Come up with a good, what are you? Captain Vegan. Yeah, yeah. That's two, that sounds too much like an insult. It's like, uh, fucking Captain Bird's eyes, much more lined cousin. So, so it says, it's unpaid voluntary work for the community, said, Gatso, Julia, let's

be under no illusions. When you're under constant attack from this government and all other governments previously, you have to take defensive offensive action. They're doing the bush, they're doing the bush, doctorate. This is also basically something, right, right? It's like against all governments, but like in a reactionary way, which is always a fun time. Never results now, I think bad for anyone.

Also, you do not want to look into what Captain Bird's eye is accused of having done during the travels. To be honest. Well, he poured the tartar sauce all over himself. Oh, so Captain Bird's are like self-imulating. So in Orpington, in the borough of Bromley. You see, like, this is, this is, these are my people. I understand them intimately.

I've walked among the people of Bromley in Orpington. This is entirely on brand. Within the heart of every single guy there there lives captain gatsau he and the people are one no it's it's it within the heart of every single guy in or pington there's captain gatsau or a woman trying to get it it was one time the only one so they tell us we can't drive to the glade shopping center they tell us we can't drive to the chiseler's cave.

They say we can't access the black wall tunnel the most convenient way of getting to the far-aclake shopping center. And so they're my say no more. Well, it is if you live in Bromley, maybe. Yeah, it's a extracted people, Maoist people's war focused around the Glades shopping center and the pedestrianized bit of Bromley high street. There was actually, because when, I think it was like, GB News, I talked to you,

I saw a clip online, but they went to Bromley to ask them about this. And one person did say, it's really gonna prevent me from going to the Glades shopping center where I have to take my car, bearing in mind, but where they were filming this, was 10 minutes walk from the Glade Shopping Center. So, yeah, that's the captain Gatsso inside of you that will drive everywhere and anywhere.

Only in a 2002 diesel car. Only in a 2002 diesel car. 2002 Renault McGahn and drive from like shortlands to the Glade Shopping Center. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. , yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah do it. So, but the, and I very rarely look at telegraph comments, but under one of the articles about Captain, again, being a very neutral and even handed about Captain Gatso

and the blade runners. And one, one commenter said, it's about time the masses revolted. Let's start a Captain Gatso for wokeness too, but not sure how. Any ideas? No, I'm sure. Careful for wokeness. Oh, I was in, okay, so not wokeness too, but not sure how. Any ideas? No, I'm just sure. Careful for Wokeness. Oh, I'm not Wokeness too, as in Wokeness.

Yeah, number two Wokeness too. Oh, right. I've said this for all though, that I hate when the state defends itself against the left, but I love when it defends itself against the right. I look forward to this spiraling wildly out of control. And like 2025, I'm opening a big newspaper and the headline is that Captain Gatso has been like found and killed by the police and military. He's like, Saddam Hussein, he's hiding in a hole deep in the Chis' worst cave.

When his car drove down. They have done Captain Gatso Pablo Escobar style. That's where the Gatso, that's where the Gatsaw militia will be formed in deep inside chisel hares caves where Captain Gatsaw will operate as a bane style character. The British army will allow Captain Gatsaw to build his own prison within the confines of the Ulezzon, but exact from its classification. These people, the people who are whose main priority now, right, but based on their 15-minute city panic and their vaccine panic, and they're various sort of

complexies, or I'm just responding to what the telegraph or times respectator expressed or talk TV or GB news, God, there's a lot of that. Anyway, better not look into it. Yeah. Say, right? It's intellectually completely incoherent because they're furious that like, oh, we don't feel like we own our infrastructure, right? But, and yet, you know, Denmark owns all of our wind farms. Like,

there's no, there's, of course, it's intellectually incoherent because it's just stand up comedy dead. Because it's just reacting to the news, kind of based on how the tone of the people you're fans of on the news react to the news, right? That's all that is. But it's socially incredibly coherent, because they all know who they hate. Well, this is the thing, this is why they've won over the telegraph comments.

And there is one more detail from the telegraph comments that I wanted to highlight, which is, there is one reply up top, which is, you know, you're a standard sort of boomer thing, which is like, oh, so the Met Police can't stop drug-assid county lines, machete jobs, but they can waste time on this. But the guy writing it has chosen the screen name for himself, the hypertension kid. Amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's got so sidekick. It's because these people are all going to burst blood vessels in their brains because

they are terrified and angry and alienated all the time. And yeah, it doesn't matter, right, that, oh, wow, how strange that the priorities of many people in Britain are to pursue, like, fighting climate change and yet whenever they have to do it, they don't like it, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because that keeps, and that's the, I've got a sort of a passage here, right, from the Tony Blair Institute, their response to this kind of thing, which I think is very illustrative and is likely to be what the Starmer government in waiting comes to is their solution, right? Is that, is that their, the reactions to this all assume it's intellectually coherent

but doesn't have a social base? Like, if you just, if you can just convince them the right way, but you'll never convince them because ultimately they are socially co-heared by hating you. Yeah. Join me, Mr. Chapa, for a 10-minute walk around Bromley and you will understand. Yeah. I saw, I listened to an amazing debate, which I think is like, it speaks to this phenomenon, if not to this specific issue. I was listening to Jeremy Vine today for the first time in ages. And he was having a debate about it somewhere.

Really driving about? I was indeed. About into the Ula too. In my Ula's compliant vehicle, thank you, don't write in. And basically they were discussing this policy where the Scottish government in Glasgow wants to introduce a policy of drug taking rooms, drug consumption rooms where people who have severe drug addiction will be able to take drug safely. A policy that has been done all over the world and has been and has worked everywhere

it has been tried. Yeah, it was tried here and they sort of like resisted it until it became untenable for them to do that. And that's now what they're doing. Yeah, so there's this kind of like semi legal drug consumption room thing that operates in Glasgow, but it doesn't have an official legal sanction. So basically the S&P are trying to like make this a thing. And they were having, and the home offices before even hearing the argument has flat-out said, and we will never condone the taking of drugs. And they're having this debate where just like various people who knew about the topic

were coming on and being like, well, this policy's been hugely successful in reducing drug deaths and addiction problems and so on and in these various jurisdictions where it's been tried and those are in fact all the jurisdictions where it's been tried and then they had a succession of other people coming on and going like, no, that's products, I don't like drugs and it's like, but you can't just say that.

There's not, but that is every political debate in this country fundamentally. And you can't say, and the Tony Blair Institute, their idea, and this is from their, how to address the growing backlash against net zero policy paper, which again, like, I think they understand that that's the next thing because the people in the UK politics who are very, very good at understanding that kind of thing, like for example, Nigel Farage are hitching their, like he was so lost until he had this. He was just watching the queen with his beer

on this tiny TV. He was doing his investment newsletter that it's considering changing his name to Francis. He was working on kicks. He was working on Bromley wondering who was gonna win Captain Gatsso, the woman inside him. Yeah. Captain Gatsso was getting paid. him. Yeah. Captain Gatsby.

Like Captain Gatsby was getting paid. Yeah, or he was doing his investment newsletter that he did like one of it then stopped. Right, but he's back on this now because, of course, this constituency of sort of alienated, agitated, terrified, angry people, they haven't gone away. They're just locked onto something else to lash out at.

And once again, it seems like the starmer of Blair tendency, their response to it is to say we have to be even more careful, even more measured, even more apologetic and even more invisible in what we do. They say, this is just a little selection from their paper. Well net zero cannot be delivered without cost to the public or individuals. These should be carefully managed to minimize repossible. And again, like, yes, fine, right?

Yes, they absolutely should. But the way that they do that. They do against this climate style and should be delivered with sort of maximum disregard to everyone. But this only interprets costs one way, right? This doesn't say, and also maximum benefits, what they really are talking about in this paper is the minimum impact of any kind.

Right, so they say, for example, for decarbonizing challenges like building and transport, we need innovative ways of making the cost more feasible, such as creating a green mortgage market and affordable financing for heat pump repayment. They're fighting against Captain Gatsso with affordable financing for heat pump repayment. That's the plan Captain Gatso with affordable financing for heat pump repayment. That's the plan. Yeah. It's sort of like, let's talk about sort of

means-tested repayments for certain kinds of heat pump boilers. And meanwhile, Captain Gatso is like busy training his men on like machetes or whatever. And you know, if they say the government should introduce incentives for green choices, including feed and tariffs or scrappage schemes for cars and gas boilers. They did, though. But the thing about the fucking ULAS stuff is that the scrappage schemes were that. And in a lot of cases, it was like, hey, if you have like a shitty 2002 Renault, like you can take it in and we'll give you like way more money for it than it deserves,

and that you'll get from like some fucking asset skis there. And you can buy yourself a new shirty car, right? But in Baxley, for example, none of the scrappage stuff was ever really present. You kind of had to find that out yourself. And they used so much money trying to take City Hall to court on a case that they were going to lose and they knew that they were going to lose. And really, I do wonder how much of it was just sort of used to kind of, you know, propel like anti-CON sentiment in the run-up to the mayoral election. But like, no, those incentives were there. Like the base, like, this isn't sort of, oh, it was absent,

or even like the communication was bad. Like, all things were there, but like the issue at hand is that these types of like incentives do not work because once these kind, yeah, and I don't know, like I think the sort of presence of forage and like post-Brex, it really does show of it like, no, any of these types of, oh, we can sort of use facts and logic to get people to where they need to be. It does not function anymore.

And it feels like it's just something that they refuse to understand. Because by confronting it, then they sort of have to also confront, well, I've always sort of got to confront things they really want to accept. Yeah, how did all these people get radicalized in the first place?

Right, yeah. And the other thing, they're trying to fight it on the fucking cheap. That's the subject, right? A green mortgage market a green mortgage market might involve some investment, but it's what it's betting on is huge amounts of private sector money flooding in to solve the problem.

You're just trying to, you were trying to, how do you play along on the private sector? Ah, so it's crazy, right? But even then, right? This is, they are calling it a positive demand led transition rather than one delivered through bands of financial penalties. I've had it. Fans of financial penalties.

Yes, that's true, but they're actual, what they're proposing is so small fry. So, so public private partnership, so fucking 90s that I see no chance of it winning against the likes of Captain Gatso. Yeah. Yeah. But it's never gonna de-radicalize him as the main thing. No. Put your money on Captain Gatso. Yeah. But it's never going to de-radicalize him as the main thing.

No. Put your money on Captain Gatso. That's trash for you. It's his gambling pick of the week. We're now gambling advice podcasts. I think that the state will probably win out against Captain Gatso in the same way that the French Republic did against the Gilegeon, but in a way that involves giving him most of what he wants.

Right. I think ultimately, this is the kind of thing that the manifestation of it is unacceptable, but it only serves to sort of like sheep dog government into sort of like accepting the more, like the less radical sort of like expression of the same idea, which is I should be allowed to drive my car through and into the glades shopping center. Yeah, I should be able to hire a zoom bus to drop onto my enemy. Anyway, before I also finished,

it's also not just about de-radicalizing Captain Gatso and the Blade Runner. God, it's so fucking stupid. Captain Gatso and the Blade Runner. God, it's so fucking stupid. Captain Gatso and the Blade Runner is a like a British cheese guy. She's a spazeman. Yeah, but it's also about what's more fun on TV? What's one's more fun?

One's cool, one's fun, one's big. What you can imagine yourself and what, how do you imagine yourself as like the protagonist or as part of a fight against climate change for the fucking green mortgage market versus a guy calling himself a captain leading a cadre. But also you've got an army in Chisel has came. But also you've got all of the all the fun stuff about TV and politics once in media once again has lined up on the side of trying to make sure that we can like you know roll

call in school. I think I think what's really interesting about this is on both sides, if you wanna call it that, really there's a contention, well really the contact is over like, to set to set to people that want to see the world in the way that they believe it to be. And so on like the Captain Gatsow and the Blade Runner side,

and like building the bayonet. Right, you have that. And build the bayonet. You know, like they, you know, they see the world as as this set of institutions that is fundamentally against them, and that they need to fight back with violence. But the things that are against them

are not to do with material conditions. It's just more to do with, like I wanna sit in traffic and honk my horn. And this sort of Muslim mayor is stopping me from doing like, and you're right, in the sense that the sort of the whole like right wing media infrastructure is one that will always kind of present it as entertainment. And like the whole pipeline from the telegraph to like GB news is one in which like this information is sort of rendered as entertainment. Like there were like segments of GB news, that basically present any type of kind of environment. Well, I imagine most stories,

but like of the clips that I've seen, the environment stories are very much framed as like these people are against you. And like the host will say about like these people who are like, you know, the job, whether it's just up oil or whether it's like, you know, an academic who says, oh, like, you know, just because it's cold in the UK

does not mean but like climate change isn't happening and it does not mean but like, you know, just because it's cold in the UK does not mean, but like climate change isn't happening and it does not mean, but like, you know, the fires that are happening, you're a bait between these real things. Yeah, no, but I think that's politics. Exactly. Well, fucking exactly that. Right. It's cold in it. But in that case, and I don't know whether you guys saw the clip, but the clip, we're like, the hosts are sort of like forcing themselves to laugh in a way to like humiliate this academic, but they've sort of like brought on to like tell them, but oh've brought on to tell them, but the earth is actually burning and it's burning at a much faster rate than you can possibly imagine.

But that's the whole point that the way that they frame this is one, where they are constantly hammering to their audience, that these institutions, these people, and that's an amorphous term, can change, are all against you. On the other side, you've got like the Tony Blair, like, you know, Labour Party people who, while, you know, when they're not sort of at war with like anyone who they believe is, like, left-wing in any capacity, kind of want to see the world as if it's 1997,

they believe facts and logic will work. I don't even know if facts and logic work back then. But like, it kind of, I think, yeah, like, I think the point being made that like, what they don't understand know if facts and logic work back then. But like, I think the point being made that what they don't understand is that their enemy isn't a group that is presenting a different set of logic. They are fighting against entertainment and it's very clear who's gonna win out.

Especially in an environment where it's seen so clearly that politics is so responsive to media, that it makes no sense if they kind of think that they don't have to engage with it on the top on that media's terms and especially the media that they've chosen to believe are more likely to be worth listening to. And I think that's probably a good place to leave it and go into our final segment for this episode. Which is an article from the telegraph entitled Britain's corporate slackers. You found this one who's saying, yes, Britain's corporate slackers are about to get their comeuppance. And then the tagline for this article is amazing. Disposable flesh and blood employees will soon no longer

be needed by Matthew Lynn for the telegraph long live the new flesh I love the I just I love they're all talking like anime villains. I love it. It's great Flesh and blood will crumble before captain gats up And his army or blade And then like sword-swishing effect. It's like shing. Yeah, awesome. Yeah. Yeah. We were with Francisco coming up. Yeah, yeah. Speed camera slowly just like falling in half after standing in tact for a few seconds. Yeah. What? Yeah, girlfriend's a guy who's like off brand dunk and I die. That's the. So this is Matthew Lynn talking about how the new, basically saying long live the new flesh, delayed flights,

unexpected Trump care duties and bad scheduling. We've all had times when it was impossible to get to a meeting, but now there's a simple solution. Matthew Lynn, you are a whole LinkedIn post. Yeah. But also like, you're a columnist. What meetings are you going to? Uh, so meeting with my wife about the divorce. Thanks to the Wizards at Google. There's an art. The Wizards are good. The buffens and California. Oh, I love this.

This kind of like old British man who's like, have you heard of the interweb? What is my grandson was talking about this single Google the other day. It's like, it's like Ask Jeaves, but it has a maps component. And I never guess what the backroom boys have dreamed up. The backroom boys, the even gayer backstreet boys.

So thanks to the quizzes at Google, there's AI assistant that could be sent instead, where it will take notes and present talking points and its human instructors behalf. So having already been released from the burden of going to the office, now slackers won't even need to put in a appearance on Zoom. Cool. Okay, sounds good. Sounds like we can save some labor. You know what mate? AI would struggle to do most jobs, but you know what an AI wouldn't know struggle to do right this fucking article Here's the problem if work can be easily replicated by AI

It will become clear that the flesh and blood employees those robots are substituting a lot of your need. I was thinking, I'm saying flesh and blood. I don't know. The pale supple flesh. Matthew Lynn, possibly a vampire? Yeah, look, look into this. The cum laden bowls of the average mission, the whole population takes out common bowls and plums.

It's part of their like times and conditions for their state inclusion. Oh, oh, oh, he lays into that later on in the article. We've read a few Matthew Lidd, I'll get to it. But also, it's like, number one, I don't wanna engage with what his actual idea is too much because they're stupid, but who does he think makes the stuff and comes up with the talking points that the robots are all recombining to make look

like something plausible? Yeah, I mean, he's not wrong that there are a lot of bullshit jobs, right? That's something that like we've we are also aware of. But like the answer to those isn't, uh, well, whatever he's going to propose, I'm pretending for the point of this that I haven't read the rest of it, yeah. That they should sacrifice their flesh and blood. Yeah, exactly. You should sacrifice your flesh, blood, common balls in order to like, you know, and then we're all doing well in the heart of the machine. Yeah. And that's even if we're imagining that a lot of those jobs are worthwhile, right? They still need the people to like cover because if you just let the robots keep coming up with

the stuff, if you let AI just keep automating things, we know what happens when it starts eating. Yeah, it gets brain poison. As soon as this turns eating itself. So, but then- Brobot BSA. Undeterred. Matthew Lynn goes on. Britain's army of slackers.

I didn't know our army was all slackers. Not least- The slacker call, the non-score. Not least in our bloated public sector have been working less and less for years. Say what you will about the non-school they're not afraid. With the latest developments in AI. Like the fucking assault course have to like climb up over a brick wall.

I'll tell you what, if I were in the opposite trench to the wolf in SS, I'd rather have a non-sparm outside than the average millennial. With the latest development. Not afraid of a bit of all work. With the latest development in the AI and the growing backlash against working from home, they may be finally about to get their comeuppance and the economy will be stronger as a result. I have a, again, I know there's a few things like what's the economy, Matthew? What is it?

What actually is it? How does it get stronger or we, when people buy shoes, I think, Raffer and Bear taught me that. But also, I like the, the, our foot and shoes employees. They can probably, the whole sort of anger of working from home gave me a kind of reverie where I remembered

probably my favorite thing in MP has ever said who's not Matt Hancock. In 2021, Jake Barry, and I, I went back into my archives and confirmed this, said to a fringe event at episode notes, said to a fringe event at a Tory party conference, the following sentence, probably the best sentence ever said. We have to end the civil service, woking from home. Sorry, I mean, working from home, but let's be honest, it is often woking. Ah, woking. Hardly woking. Yeah, that's right. I love to play the Tourie the Tourie party for Inge. It's a great place to preview your Edinburgh show.

It's been a hard day. It's night. And I've been woking like a dog. Oh, yeah, there we go. Thank you. I love it. But woking from and. I'm an essential woker. Yeah. Here's the glorious thing. It does kind of go into that. So back to the article. In fairness, Google Meet may be a valuable tool

for a few hyperbizzy executives, but there can be no avoiding that this represents yet another step towards a slacker economy. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Wait, he's trying to like write like a John Hughes movie. Yeah. Well, is there a snobs economy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a slugs, slugs be snobs. Like, he sees himself as the teacher in the breakfast club. He's like, you messed with the bull, you get the horns. And he's dealing with the slacker of immediately our estivers. Mm-hmm. And like, yeah. There's the imagination here just that everybody will stop doing everything and just sort of allow themselves to fuse into their couches and carpets.

Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yeah. What is a slacker economy? What does it look like? It's like, wally, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, apparently the trend has been clear for years. It started with the rise of human resources. Oh my. Bloody woke human resources. Back to anime, for the day game. Because you said flesh and blood so much that the term human resources has lost its conventional meaning and gone back to a kind of darker conceptual idea.

HR departments developed from being minor administrative units that organized pay slips and managed the holiday rotor to engines of entitlement, constantly demanding wellness, work and life balance, and mindfulness initiatives with which SAP are productivity. But what they mostly do is demand that you do annoying, pointless things that accompany policy. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and and and, and, and, and, and, and and, and, and and, and and and, and and and and and and and and and and and and and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, Just like a bunch of major executives have like seized the radio stations. You know, the CEO is no longer in power. He's been confined to House arrest and now you all have to woke from home. The tanks are very useful in overfaring the government, but the problem is that you present health and safety issues because we do not have currently enough first aiders involved with it. This is none of this has been checked. Also, if the coup is not over by 9pm, we are going to be up against it with a work in time directive. So I just don't see how this coup can be a work of

adoption today. So that's the thing. He said over the course of the pandemic, the HR blob took this to new levels. He does believe that there is an HR deep state to too many things are being accused of being blobs now for me to keep up. Like, how many blobs are they're supposed to be? You've got the woke civil service blob, the woke media blob, the lefty lawyer blob, now the HR department blob. It's fucking HR. HR blob is like the name of a guy who would have been an advisor to George Bush

senior when he was the head of the CIA. So the HR blob, the blog b the CIA. So the HR blog. Yes, being a blog-bind scheme. Fuck, man. Yeah. The HR blog. Again, like this, when you're Matthew Limbs, when you're a telegraph columnist, you are a baby. All you see is blobs, just shapes and colors, eras and blobs.

And temporary measures for working from home are being risk of being turned to a permanent right. Again, led by like v h r fed a mean. No, yeah, absolutely. And not the fact that like people do not want to go to work to to to work in the office, they want to like work from home. Because it like, you know, it's it's much more convenient and doesn't seem to

like appreciably impact productivity in most cases at all. Well, he says productivity has been sinking like a stone since the pandemic. Couldn't be any other reason, of course. Yeah. No. Also, the chart he shows productivity flatlines around 2007. So what the fuck are you showing?

That was when things went work. Yeah, that was when the blow started. Yeah, when the housing market went work. HR took over. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, we had the market went, what HR took over. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we had the collateralized woke obligation. So, now many people are cheerfully

using this new generation of AI work tools to write memos draft strategy or send routine email. There was strippers in South Florida who had variable mate rawgages on up to 60 pronouns each. They are outsourcing their day jobs and it can't be long before officials in the Welsh Assembly

or some other pointless taxpayer-funded body. I'm drawing six figures out of your hand. Hold on a second. The Welsh catching stray fucking elephant gun bullets here. But it's so funny to lump in the Welsh assembly with a quango to be pointless government expenditures. I don't know, like fisheries, assessor or whatever, and the Welsh assembly,

and the entire nation of Wales, which is a needless overhead. Yeah, we're not using it, but like, who else is gonna do it? Like, does this guy wanna do the government of Wales just in his spare time? No, he wants either Chatchee PT to do it or to hire some like motivated tech people.

I think he was complaining about them using Chatchee PT because they're out of the way. He was from home. You should be like sitting at a desk and like doing all of your sums by hand with a quill. Well, it's that you shouldn't use Chatchee PT because if you do, you'll be fired and then it's good that Chatchee PT took your job

because now it's just go getters and the computer. That's a good idea. What does this man actually feel about AI? Well, I'll tell you what this man actually feels, right? Which is all that he feels, right? Is that power is good and that if you are small or you should be dominated. I think he's also just like the very kind of classic

conservative thing of like, you know, your politics is don't work anymore. You're not really sure what to do about it. So it is now entirely driven by spite. And you're not really sure who you're spiteful to. Well, which goes back to like Captain Gaster, right? Which is just like, you know, and the sort of like, the blob that kind of increasingly

expands and brings more people in that you're not really, and you're not really sure the U les itself. Well, that's right. The anger inside these people's brains is like the U les zone. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. You never know when you're part of it. And once you're in, there's nothing you can do to stop except to pay them 12 pounds 15. But I think that's, that goes sort of with what I'm saying, right? Which is there is this they they they're the beloved of power. And so they believe that there is a secret egalitarian conspiracy driven throughout society. All of these blobs every every single part

of these blobs, their secret liberally egalitarian conspiracies that know sort of true, horrid-handed son of toil, British columnist, or farmer, it's the same thing really, would ever tolerate, right? And so something like the Welsh Assembly, because it allows whales to do things differently from England, shouldn't be tolerated because England is big and powerful,

and Wales is not, which means that whales should submit to England and that we should treat things like the Welsh Assembly with contempt because devolution was a egalitarian conspiracy that should be over. Check this shit out. Wokers of the world, Unite. Does he also believe that the HR department are the things that prevent bosses from being like cruel and tyrannical? Yes.

That was exiling CEOs. So his issue is that the CEOs are getting too many like surveys they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,

they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,

they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like wedges are like, you know, shooting at their feet and making them dance old west style. Well, that'll be laughing on the other side of their face. When we fire all the HR departments and move wails into a pool to cabin. So I'm going to wrap it up with how it all comes together.

Unions are often outraged when firms suggest our work from home culture is damaging their bottom lines. However, your job could be done from the sofa. It could be either done overseas, or if your job could be done from the sofa, it could be either done overseas, or if your job may be done by an AI machine, then your employer may ask whether it's actually needed. Most of these jobs are busy work. If it can be done by an AI, your job probably was already an AI. Most probably can't, again, as I always say, the threat isn't that it can be taken by an AI, it's that they can just threaten you enough to break it up

and skill it. But previously, we've always needed those people who are employed in those make-work jobs to spend money on shoes, which keeps the economy going. And in order to do that, they had to have a certain standard of luxury available to them. And to an extent, kind of mandatory to them. And now that, you know, as this thing that you like to say that the wire is shrinking, now the things are getting difficult, we just kind of don't need them to do that anymore. We don't need you to buy as many shoes or, you know, be able to pay rent.

Because the jobs are so the class system ticks over, but yeah, yeah. If you're kind of not interested in it ticking over anymore. Well, precisely. So he just how it all comes together. One has to wonder whether some roles will be replaced with AI robots that don't need diversity inclusion training. The whole thing was just a broad side against HR and diversity inclusion training. Basically, everything Matthew Linn writes is.

It's very funny. The D I think, I just think about this, every group, every political tendency has one term of one of their enemies that they've sort of learned and will not let go of. For like 19 year old Maoists on Twitter, it's color revolution, and for the right wing, it's DEI. And I'm just like left with like, who taught you about this? Where did you get that? Put it down.

Well, it's the last time they had some, the few that retired in like 2010, like the youngest ones of these guys, because none of these people have jobs. They're gleefully wanting to like whip people back to work because none of them have jobs. Yeah, because the telegraph isn't really even a manager's newspaper. It's like a retiree have jobs. Yeah, because the telegraph isn't really even a manager's newspaper.

It's like a retiree's newspaper. Yeah, precisely. And he says, eventually the economy still not defined. What is it? We'll emerge stronger. But there will be a lot of pain along the way, especially if redundancies are signed off by a meeting of Google bots without a single human intent. We have to do shock therapy on ourselves.

Not me and my friend. I've lived here in article. a single human intent. We have to do shock therapy on ourselves. Not me and I just out of house. I'm just out of house. I'm just out of house. What I like also, again, two telegraph comments in one episode I know, but I looked at the comments for this and this one comment to rights. But have you considered the future where millions of humans are suddenly out of work? They'll all go on benefits.

Awesome. Yeah, Blade Runner 2049, everyone is on benefits. People have forgotten what work is. People can only woke now. Anyway, I think that's going to be about it for us today. We've got another great example of like, who are you mad at? What do you actually want? Do you know who you're mad at?

No? Have you thought about who you're mad at? HR. He's not even mad at them. I'm not going to continue anymore, but like, he know who you're mad at? Have you thought about who you're mad at? HR. The look in the box? He's not even mad at them. I'm not going to continue anymore, but like he's not even really mad at them. He's just angry about stuff. I'm a bleed runner.

I'm employed to cleanse the last drivers from the streets of Wokyo, Japan. Right. Now, now I think that's about it for today, because that has happened. So my one remaining enemy, Captain Gatsow. So I would like to say thank you very much for listening. To say we have a Patreon, it's $5 a month for a second episode every week.

You can subscribe to it. It's a lot of fun. And to thank my co-host for being here. A pleasure. And to say, welcome back me. Welcome back to you. Yeah, from my, oh, and welcome back, Milo to the studio. This is the first regular episode we've done in a while. We haven't had a regular one for a while. Yeah, I was at the Toy Party Fringe, you're talking.

You were woking from Edinburgh. That's right. I won't. All right. Anyway, there's also left on red. There's Britainology. There's ten, those are on the $10 tier. There left on red. There's Britainology. There's 10, those are on the $10 tier. There are more episodes.

There's streaming. There's Thursday and Monday. There's a new podcast about sorry, working hard or hardly working. Can you please do one episode of Woking Hard or Hardly Working? That feels like a sick, but I would, yeah, I would love to do that. All right, I would look out for the script, the test script of Woking Hard or Hardly Working, it's about sorry. And we will see. I would love to do that. All right, I would look out for the script the test script of walking hard or hardly walking

About sorry and we will see took me ages to get a traffic was backed up all the way to leverage Hardly working We're gonna have another rhyme for walking as we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry about that all right So that's the reward for the people who stay through the plugs, is that Milo usually keeps saying stuff. That's right. Okay, bye everyone. Bye. Hot story, hot story, hot scene was sent back here and you hot scene my name Hot story, hot story, you said you made me angry but wasn't a hang Hot story, hot story, your brothers in the house of cavalry Your battle days and two pagepage spread in Tathlet magazine

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A hot story, you can privatize my heart I thought, sorry, you could privatize my heart