TRASHFUTURE - Dr Sked's Monster: A Brief History of the Rise and Fall of UKIP (QAnon Anonymous Crossover)

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

  It's another crossover! Our friends Jake, Travis, and Julian from Q-Anon Anonymous called in to talk about the strange history of the Euroskeptic movement, and why they seem to generate so many bizarre local news headlines. It's a story of how when your organisation gets everything it wished for, it implodes in a fit of unforced errors, bizarre recriminations, and accusations that everyone else in the party is the REAL racists.   If you want one of our *fine* new shirts, designed by Matt Lubchansky, then e-mail trashfuturepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. £15 for patrons, £20 for non-patrons, plus shipping.   *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind GYDS dot com). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ 

Hello and welcome back to this free episode of both trash future that podcast you're listening to now and also QAnon Anonymous, QAnon Anonymous welcome and trash future welcome to you guys. Welcome to everybody. Yeah, in quarantine, everyone is so much more efficient by listening to two podcasts simultaneously. I love that none of us know each other and that we're going to be talking through a wall where we can't see each other, but we have to get married at the end of the song. That's right, podcasting glory hole for its intended purpose. I've actually never met any of these people, but it's follow Friday, though. Yeah, we were all introduced to one another one follow Friday a long time ago.

This is the most like British thing is like you start a podcast through a kind of comedy of errors where you're too embarrassed not to. Remember when Jesus was up on the cross and he turned to the century and said, Oh, I don't see what's very follow about this Friday. That's right. On our side, we have did say that we have Jake Rocketansky. What's up, Jake? Oh, hey, how's it going? Travis, you the Q specialist, the more serious one of our gang. That's, I suppose. Yeah, it's become a shtick. We'll wake up a little bit. It's it's early here. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I woke up at about eight a.m. set up all my equipment and then went back

to sleep like a child who wanted to sneak in a couple more minutes before their parents knocked on their door telling him to go to school. So who's the parent in this situation? It's you, surely. It's Julian. Julian's always Julian's dad, mom and drunk uncle rolled up into one. I'm the wine mom and then the dad is Travis. So Travis called me at 9 a.m. and it woke me up. That's true. Because I had too many last night, like literally. So he's the mom and Jake is the child. I was ready, though, just for the record and I didn't drink last night. Good job. Nice. So we have we have the the three unit family Q and on anonymous Jake, Julian and Travis here. And we also have myself, Riley, Milo and Alice

all in our sunny, sunny undisclosed locations around the British Isles. However, speaking of the British Isles, we are here today to talk about the evolution of UKIP into something from something very strange and fractious and conspiracy laden into something very strange, fractious and conspiracy. Yeah, we're looking at like one of those weird fish things that like gasps up onto land and they only instead of like turning into a man, it just kind of like stays on the beach, just staying weird. Just like one foot sprouting out of it. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. So a little bit of background for American listeners. UKIP is a British political party called the United Kingdom Independence Party. Its whole main raison d'etre was the United Kingdom

get independence. We're uniting independent from each other was the securing of Brexit. Basically that was all it was designed to do and then having done it, it has imploded in a very funny way. So what we're going to do is we're going to go through all the history of how this thing started and how it got to where it is now. But first I'm going to read a quotation about UKIP from someone inside the party. All I can say is that it has been inundated for a long time from people within UKIP and outside from all parties and from none saying that we need a new party. There is clearly a huge demand across the country, across people's background and ages and indeed across the old parties for something fresh and new, which will represent them and Britain's interests.

Now, given what I've just told you, can you guess what year that was said? Like this one? Two weeks ago. Yeah. It sounds like something Donald Trump would say. Looks, we're going to have a new party. People are saying it up and down the nation, they're all saying it, they agree. I was just discussing this with someone else how the people are saying are literally two groups of people. It's the Fox morning crew and the people at his Mar-a-Lago party. So imagine

the types of idiots that are just telling him things. It's so good. No. So these words were actually spoken in 2005 about the UKIP. So they've been like this forever. Yeah. Yes. By a man named Robert Kilroy Silk, a daytime TV host and former MP and the erstwhile big beast of the party before Nigel Farage. Yeah. Robert Kilroy Silk fascinates me, right? Because he's basically like an unsuccessful Trump. His moment came too early. He literally was like this. He was a politics guy who got badly disaffected by like things not being about him. And he just did a daytime TV show

for like 20 years and got more and more spray tan and made horrible television and then decided, I'm going to get into right wing politics and it never worked out for him. And that's a powerful thing to me. For American listeners, read Robert Kilroy Silk. You know the bit in Bridget Jones' diary where her mum runs off with the guy from like the shopping channel? That is who Robert Kilroy Silk is. Thanks. We're probably speaking to the only three Americans who haven't watched that movie. I mean, unless Jake did. Wait, which movie? Bridget Jones' Diary. The only good British film. I've seen it. I've seen the sequel too. Okay. Nice. Yeah. I've seen it. I've seen everything. I'll tell you whatever you want. But the story we're going to tell today is of this weird and

fractious group of right wing psychos who won their greatest ambition by completely by accident, riding a moment of history they had nothing to do with and then ended up tearing themselves to pieces in the process. So how we're going to do this is I have created and disseminated a timeline amongst everyone here. And so we are going to starting with the history of the European Union. We are going to figure out exactly how we got to the point of them all suing each other and trying to get each other arrested, which is happening now. That rules. Well, they're actually they're doing what they normally do, which is glassing each other outside of pubs. But like in the public in the kind of political arena, that's all. Yeah, that's right. It's the end of the night.

And so yeah, you're punching your friend tomorrow. It's outside. It's outside an all bar one. And all of these guys are wearing very, very shiny shoes and just like scuffling mutely with each other. It's beautiful. All bar one is too aspirational a crowd for the UK plot. They'd be outside like a Samuel Smith's beer house wine lodge. Well, here's the thing, right? They'd be outside of Carvery B. We've talked about this character before on trash future as a member of the bridge and secret service, which is just a guy from a provincial English town who's made like quite a bit of money doing something you don't quite know what. And he always has a younger girlfriend in a used Jaguar and is always telling you she was an ex model. He's the British

version of the like jet ski dealership Trump Psycho, right? He runs. He has like a warehouse full of aftermarket car parts and is like doing quite well, but is also has been driven absolutely insane. That's right. But by being a small business owner, and this is a party of people who have been driven insane by being small business owners. And we're going to go through the history. So a brief history of the EU to understand where we where we're coming from. In 1956, the European coal and steel community was formed. And this had a couple of intentions. They were going to it was to stop the sort of constant bellicosity in the European continent by integrating the war industries of France and Germany. So basically, there was no such

thing as a German coal or steel miner company. There was one company that would be both, for example, so it makes them very hard to go to war. The French finally teaching the Germans what they can do with all that excess coal does. I put this on my face. I like to burn it and make like power. Now the cons the steel coal and steel community was supposed to not just like integrate these industries but make very difficult to like have these countries fight each other and basically as a kind of guarantee of liberalism on the European continent. Now we can say, obviously, how did that go? Well, the EU now is glad handing like right wing dictators like Victor Orban and Matteo Salvini. So they kind of sacrificed their chance to

guarantee liberalism on the European like in exchange for fiscal. They keep making this argument European Federalists that like well, it's okay that we're like killing migrants by the boatload and the Mediterranean because that's external internally. We can keep these kind of liberal values and you wouldn't want to do Putinism instead, right? And meanwhile, inside the EU, Victor Orban just kind of makes being trans illegal and the EU is like, huh, well, it's not very good that you do that. These days in Hungary, you say you're trans. Yeah, you get looked up and thrown in jail. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I love the Guardian establishing a new office in Budapest. So we're going to get through a little more of this history

and then we'll sort of we'll see where your skepticism comes from. So in 1967, the Brussels Treaty is signed, which creates the European Economic Community, which is the basis for the European Union now. So this creates sort of the idea of like common external tariffs, common like the roots of free movement are set inside the countries that doesn't come till later but still and we get this idea of economic cooperation everywhere. And this is the roots of your skepticism are somewhere someone is just starting to form the spermatozoa that will that will be Emmanuel Macron. Just getting turned on by this very moment. This is a very evolutionary episode we're doing here. We're just like we're playing we're all playing sport together. We're watching what

kind of like what happens. So how many how many legs can sprout out of somebody's head before they go extinct? That's the that's the new conspiracy theories that Mario Draghi has like nine different legs. He's not showing the people show us the legs all in his freezer. So basically there are two kinds of your skepticism in the UK that come about in response to the treaty on on European Brussels Treaty because the UK joins laterally. So there's there's there's Powell like your skepticism based on Enoch Powell, which is the kind of your skepticism that's alive today. There are too many migrants. They're taking the jobs, good jobs for British people. Your classic racism, the rivers of blood speech. And there's been a your skepticism,

which is named after Tony Ben, which is saying, well, look, the common what the common market actually is is a way for capital to have immense power over labor. It's a capitalist institution. What it's going to do is completely smash any kind of workers movement by either rendering it sclerotic and dependent on European level handouts or allow capital to go and strike very easily. By the way, Tony Ben was proven right. Anyway, what we get? What do you mean? Grease. Grease, where people used to live the longest has been just squeezed into like a fucking lemon, just just pulverized under a boot. What do you mean? We're not doing well over there. Yeah, listen, if you don't like being condescended to by Professor Dr. Thesis,

like fucking austerity fund thesis plagiarism, then what even is the point of being in the European Union? I'm sorry, your island had a people living until 97. Yeah, I'm sorry, you're actually in debt now. We're going to need you to tighten your belt. The EU really is the like the epitome of the intersectional landlord, isn't it? Well, the Greeks were fine until there was no money in throwing donkeys off of church roofs anymore. And that's when it already went downhill. Yeah, so Margaret Thatcher makes something called her brooch speech in the late 80s in response to something called social Europe, which is the European Union that aims to accommodate a Benite kind of Euro skeptic by trying to implement a lot of that cultural liberalism

that we talked about earlier that they've utterly compromised on, as well as guarantees for, if not say trade union power, then workers rights that could be taken away by the Commission and so on and so on. They're going to have a social Europe and now we're stuck here in fucking brooch. So Thatcher makes a speech that essentially the European Union must not be allowed to sneak in the big state through the back door, but undoing all of her reforms. And it's the brooch speech that creates the modern Euro skeptic movement in the UK. So the Benite strand of Euro skepticism never really takes hold as a popular force. I mean, it's got its holdouts, like sort of like people like Dennis Skinner and various different movements, but it never becomes

a political force like power like right wing Euro skepticism did. That's the reason why the Lexit people and the referendum were all in like a small kind of fringe parties instead of the larger fringe parties like UK. Yeah, this rules because it means that you based your entire civilization on someone who was profoundly wrong, a bit like the Fukuyama end of history thing. And then he's just like, years later, he's like, oh, yeah, Marx was actually kind of had some good ideas. And like everyone's like, shut up Fukuyama, go to bed. That's right. So what we get to next, and this is where we have the birth of UKIP, is the Maastricht Treaty, which creates the single market. And here's where we then get freedom of movement. We get the beginnings of the Euro,

it doesn't get implemented till later, but we have the European exchange rate mechanism, which leads to a crisis and a run on the pound stability and growth pact. And we have much more interference in domestic fiscal policy. And this leads to the growth of not just Eurosceptic opinion, but Eurosceptic political parties running in the UK. And I mean, also, this is the thing, right? Because a lot of the financial policy is quite boring, the way that Euroscepticism sort of gets fueled is by scare stories in the press about how the EU is going to ban curvy bananas and saying you're English. And funnily enough, one key figure in this is the then Daily Telegraphs, Brussels correspondent, one Boris Johnson. Yeah, yeah, we did an episode where Annie Kelly

explained these curvy bananas to us and his whole history and how he was just basically a lovable clown who just a bit like Trump, you know, just a transitioned act. So what we get is the early Eurosceptic movement is relatively academic. It's based out of LSE and it's led by this guy called Alan Sked, who is an academic. He started YouTube in opposition to Maastricht in 93, and then they started standing candidates in 97, but he wasn't the only Eurosceptic party. There was also James Goldsmith's referendum party that was like overtly white supremacist allegedly wasn't wasn't Alan Sked like a benite Eurosceptic, though, because I remember hearing I knew some people at LSE who knew him and they were like Alan Sked is like terminally embarrassed

that he started UKIP because people keep bringing it up to him and he's like, I know I've left sked marks. Well, that's just it because he started it as he started it as a professorial problem with Maastricht, which pointed out some real problems with Maastricht. And then very quickly, he resigned from the leadership after 97 in protest at quote, and this is going to become a theme, you keep attracting members who are racist and have been infected by the far right, warning that it was a doomed project. Dr Frankenstein, yeah, being like, hmm, my experiment to like determine whether or not I can reanimate a person appears to have been like, yeah, facially compromised by the fact that it's made of murder parts.

There's got to be one dumbass who is in those Manhattan project meetings who later felt like this. I thought we were making was going to be the bomb, not the bomb. So what I find really interesting about this, right, is that the whole idea of opposition to the EU, which has like left-wing roots, and which even has left-wing roots to the point that the guy who started UKIP would have very little in common with the Farage, has largely just been overtaken by the fact that it's much easier to galvanize people to support right-wing policies if you're like the Telegraph or whatever. If you can blame it on some cultural shit with the European Union, like they're going to, you know, turn the continent into a caliphate or whatever,

and just ignores the very real problem. It's very weird how, for some reason, this keeps happening, that you have this kind of neoliberal institution. And for some reason, all of the criticisms of it that preserve capital have an easier time. And so you just end up with this kind of like fascist or nativist or nationalist assault on this institution that was never that great to start with. And meanwhile, you're just over here on the other side like, yeah, but if you'd listen to us, and it kind of like, you can't be like that because it was always going to be this way, though, because it was, there was always going to be this kind of this, this structural interest

in the favor of capital. Yeah. And so basically, it's in the 2000s that UKIP begins to become what we would recognize it as today, because it wasn't very major in the 1990s. The referendum party was the big Eurosceptic party in the 90s. And that's the one that was like, ah, Brussels is going to make it, they're going to force you to wear blackface, but not because you want to. Yeah, they're going to make you wear gay blackface. Yeah. I love the idea of naming a party the referendum party is they're like,

which is the pro voting party, the elections party vote for us, we'll have more of it. Well, democratic party. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. So in the early 2000s, the man to watch in UKIP was not Nigel Farage, it was Kilroy Silk, who then challenged him later. Wait, wait, wait, wait. There's a guy in your country called Kilroy Silk. Robby Kilroy Silk was the guy.

Hey, you missed this part. Jesus, man, even I didn't pay any attention. No, I know, I'm sorry, I had to do a thing for one moment. My favorite detail about Robert Kilroy Silk is that he hosted what was briefly called the worst game show on British television, where it was called Share or Shaft and you had like two contestants. We have to put this in as a drop somehow because I don't have it on me presently, but we have to have this where he would like, it was like, you could steal money out of like two contestants and he would ask them whether they wanted to share with like a hand gesture indicating sharing or Shaft with a like finger and like hand hole kind of gesture to indicate

Shafting. Yeah, my favorite was his show Kilroy, which was like a kind of version of Jerry Springer, but hosted by a madman, where he would get the audience to stand up and like voice their opinions about what was going on on stage and he would just steal their seat and when they went to sit back down would refuse to get out of it, to just have him talking to camera from the seat of the audience with like an angry woman called Maureen just kind of awkwardly standing next to him. Once again, a Trump guy, absolutely a Trump guy. This guy was the big beast of UKIP in the early 2000s and here's the interesting thing.

In 1975, he wrote an article for The Times before The Times was what it is now, said that politics was quote, not about compromises and bargains or hankering after spurious consensus, and that the function of a labor government was creative to cast as far as it is able society in its image and that socialists should not be worried about being accused of using dictatorial powers and must go forward with the tint of arrogance. So he was not a, he was a labor guy who was not a like centrist reformist. He was a quite full-throated, if not socialist, and at least an ambitious labor politician who was not there to compromise with the Tories, although he did famously hate Jeremy Corbyn, reportedly grabbing him by the lapels and nearly

decking him in Port Cullis House in the 1980s. Yeah, I mean, he said he did the most bridge and secret service line in an interview that I read about this where he had this scuffle with Corbyn was that he said, I didn't hit him because if I'd hit him, he would have stayed down and it was like, yeah. That's right. He was lucky. I'm too strong. Yeah. My kids here, I'm on parole. I was going to say, is that like a thinly veiled joke for him, like murdering Corbyn? Like he's like, yeah, if I would have hit him, he would have stayed down forever. And that's right. By that I mean, I killed him. Also, saying you could deck Jeremy Corbyn is like not the brag you think it is. Yeah, I could kick the shit out of this nice pacifist.

Yeah, he doesn't even have like a cartoonist like Ben Garrison to like fake draw his like 25 year old muscular body or whatever. Imagine if Kilroy Silk had been born just a little bit later, he would be Prime Minister. Yeah. So that's my question, right? Is how did he go from this class warrior, right, to the game show to like UK? Well, he melted after Thatcher basically. I think a lot of people like responded to the 1980s differently, especially in labor. And, you know, you were because in the 1970s and 60s, you had this really strong labor movement that was behind you. So you could be the political voice of that move. You could be combative. After 79, after 79, you need to be a real believer in the labor movement to continue

politics in that vein. Whereas if you're not just, if you're a politician who is just representing the movements that you think exist, there's very little for you to represent in terms of a robust labor government in 1980s. That's how we get Blair. So what you're telling me is that this is this is Neil Kinnock's fault. That's right. Yeah. And it's the same in the States. I mean, you have Ronald Reagan coming along promising a kind of like a self, the restoration of like a powerful self, an American self, and it completely transformed politics because it destroyed the left's like argument, basically, because it hadn't been making a leftist argument.

But it essentially sent it into disarray and changed politics forever, shifting the Overton window and everything. But he was the first to be like, you're going to be powerful. You're going to be great. Like, we're going to win with me. And so Kilroy Silk is one of these guys that really takes that on board. And that's why sort of he so easily blends into UKIP, which is all about, which is even at this point after Sked left is just this bubbling, bubbling cauldron of various kinds of poorly thought out cultural grievances against an institution that again, as Alice said, is dog shit. It should be legitimately

criticized. But for its terrible economics, not because of just some stuff that like the telegraph, not because it's making you be like it's making you wear the gay blackface. As an American, like watching the elections, it was fascinating to see kind of Corbyn be accused of wanting to do Brexit. Like it was like a racist stance. And then he was waffling a little bit around it or being kind of vague. I get it. Like, it's true. The right has completely hijacked what should be, what should have like a solution on the left side as well, right? Like we should have. He never had a chance. Yeah, our anti-EU party, you know, I do wish I do wish that American politicians would get

into more fistfights, though, on the floor. That's true. I think that would be really cathartic, like for our entire country as a whole. If, you know, people just watch Devon Nunes just get, you know, punched repeatedly in the face over some wooden table. Before the Civil War, it used to be like this. Elihu Roots, who was the senator from New York immediately prior to the Civil War, once ended up in a fistfight in the Senate standing on top of a desk, threatening to brain anyone who came near him with a spittoon he had grabbed. Oh, see, that's classic America. No, we were British still. Like when we became American, we became more peaceful and terrible, terrible direction for the country. I say go back to

the violence when they got rid of the spittoons. That's when it went wrong. Yeah, Robert Kilroy Silk. He's famous. He's got the world's most tanned man. He has multiple daytime TV shows. He's in the he's in the papers all the time. What he he then wrote a column for the tabloid called the Daily Express in 2004. And he said the Arab States murdered more than 3000 civilians on the 11th of September and then danced in the hot dusty streets to celebrate, adding that the despotic, barbarous and corrupt Arab States were populated exclusively by suicide bombers, limb amputators and woman repressors. The three jobs you can get in the Arab world, going further to say they should go down on their knees and thank God for the

magnificence of the United States. Few of them make any contribution to the welfare of the rest of the world. And the weird thing is, wow, if you wrote that same column for the Express now, probably get some extra money, maybe a promotion and a prize, right? You would be like shortlisted for something. But like, no, this is this is the problem with with Kilroy Silk, right, is that he's 10 years too early for everything. He's 10 years too early to do socialism. And then he's 10 years too early to do daytime TV, particularly successfully. And then he's 10 years too early to get to the like, just straight up race war stuff. And then it's like 10 years too early to get to Trump. It's a tragedy almost. Dude, so wait, so this guy, though, he thinks like during a Muslim prayer,

people are going to get on their knees and instead of they're just going to switch to the United States. I mean, I'm literally I'm putting off praying so I can record a podcast with you nerds. So like, yeah, maybe. Yeah, people are praying to Allah. But where are the people praying to Wendy? So here's the thing. What Kilroy Silk did was he defected from UKIP after being turfed basically to form a new party called Veritas, which took nearly two thirds of UKIP membership with it, but was then completely annihilated in the polls. Because again, Alice, as you say, Robert Kilroy Silk was baby basically 10 years too early on all of these insane no sense of timing. But like, I feel like you can look at the career of Robert Kilroy Silk.

If you are ever confused about what's going to happen next, right? It's the thing that he's currently doing is the thing that's now going to be the next thing along. Yeah, 10 years. There will be a project called Project Veritas and one young man will dress as a pimp. That's right. To take down three small boys will stand on top of one another inside a giant suit pretending to be a journalist pretending to be someone who who can't get access to the vote. I hate it. Veritas is such a fucking shit name for a party too. There was another party called there was another party that only exclusively had membership of like dads in the home counties and an ex-girlfriend of mine's dad from the home counties was in this party called Libertas,

which was very similar. What are the people love to vote for? Latin. Yeah, Latin is essentially so creepy. Like you would just like not select it. Like, I mean, as a complete rando, you walk in, you see a Latin name. You're like, okay, not going to vote for that. Obviously. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, unless, of course, you're in ancient Rome in which case they'd be like, well, that's just totally normal. I passed my vote. The joke doesn't make sense anymore. Name parties. Go anything in Minoan. So basically, in 2006, after two more leaders, Farage then takes over. And that's when UKIP is

transformation from a sked's vision into essentially thatcher's vision is complete. Who is who is Nigel Farage? So Nigel gets vision just sounds like an aborted like 90s games console that was invented by fucking Alan Sugar. Yeah, it's like Clive Sinclair's virtual boy clone. So basically, Nigel Farage is a currency. It was a privately educated banker. Who was an original in Alan Sked's coterie. So it's not like UKIP was this like wonderful left-wing institution. You know, it was always weird and fractious and everyone in it hated everyone else the whole time. But so Farage, but Farage was this guy, this finance guy,

who saw the opportunity to basically continue thatcher's project that he saw as forestalled by Blair and paused by European integration. Marriage for the Americans, like we always just see him like in his kitchen watching like a tiny television looking day drunk with like a red face. And then we forget his name because he's too depressing to actually remember like he doesn't have any of the characteristics that make him a funny buffoon. He's just depressing. Yeah, he's just jacking it to the Queen, but he can't even watch videos of the Queen because that would be rude. So it has to use imagination. My favorite fact about Nigel Farage is that when he was at college, they first of all, they tried to stop him from being a prefect because he was

too fascist, which is just an objectively insane like that's like trying to stop you from being a cop because you're too racist, right? And then part of the reason why they decided he was too fascist was because when he was in the cadets, he led a root march through a bunch of like small villages, fucking singing Hitler songs. Like he was doing the horse vessel. Nice. Oh my god. Genuinely true. On God, that is it is in the independent and the times you can look it up. That is who the guy is. So I'm just kind of kind of wondering why people don't look to like a second. Like you're going to you're going to play Hitler. That's like putting the Beatles on, man. Like do you find a lesser fascist? Do like some iron god shit, doing a more obscure kind of

fascist. Yes, proto fascist. That's, yeah, that's great. Yeah. It'd be more funny if Farage set up like a dead poet society in Dulwich College, but for reading the work of Marinetti. Just standing on a desk reading as per pound. Yeah. It's a film school that just only watches black and white German movies from a certain era. Yeah. That's right. So basically, Farage described David Cameron as a quote socialist whose priorities were gay marriage, foreign aid and wind farms. Where's politics? Look to get gay married on top of a wind turbine. Like David Cameron, one of the architects of austerity is still described as a socialist who just wants to like,

you know, do cultural degeneration on Britain. David Cameron, organizing, turning Jolyon Morm's garden into a wedding chapel for just to annoy him. That's right. That's right. So and Cameron referred to UKIP as fruit cakes, loonies and closet races. And I'm like closet. So that's sort of what that's where we are now. UKIP is secure. It's transformation from a Eurosceptic party into the political wing of whatever fringe right wing tabloid belief is in Britain has now been completed. It's the political, the armed wing of UKIP at this point is farthest for justice. Right. So you're saying this is yeah, 2006, 2007. I didn't even know it was this early. I think it kind of came into our like internationalize a little later.

Yeah. But at this point, that's like a really long time. Yeah, exactly. They're an also ran. And in fact, we're going to we're going to see the circumstances that lead them to become a big party because right now they're still fringe. They're still very much fringe at this point. So after 2007, we have the Treaty of Lisbon, which is not as relevant for domestic policy as sort of the previous treaties were. I could do an entire hour on different European treaties, but suffice to say that Lisbon was all right. Yeah, that's right. Come to it. Riley's comic Treesy Club. Lisbon was about increasing political federalism and a greater aquee for foreign policy and

security. So that was the one that had security policy. That was the one that had the ever closer union thing that terrified all of these people, right? Yeah, but it had all the stuff that actually created the economic functioning of the European Union sort of got kind of laid down in Maastricht, clarified in Amsterdam. And then Lisbon is just like, what if we just had cops together? Yeah, Lisbon, it says, why don't they going to do the Treaty of Versailles, but for blaming someone from 911? Yeah. So Lisbon, Lisbon is about common foreign security policy, but also does express a common desire for ever closer union. We're just going to do some economics together. And if our lips touch, would that be so bad?

So that never really pans out because of what happens the next year, which is the financial crisis. So this is where social Europe dies its final death, even though it's been gone for a long time. And what we then get is ad hoc interference in domestic politics in the Eurozone. So that's the different from the European Union, the currency area. It's in the Eurozone peripheries, that's Italy, Spain, Greece, et cetera, to address the financial crisis while simultaneously maintaining a low interest rate and avoiding any fiscal transfers and hardening Europe's external borders as the senior leadership of the European Union basically realizes that right wing populism is inevitable. And that the way that you keep your union without

causing you to have to make the Germans give anyone any money is to just let people do more and more and more racism. Yeah, real mass in short hours. No, you have to picture this as like Angela Merkel with like laser eyes. That's like just like zooming outwards to like a gigantic Merkel. French President Jack Twingo. So this is where the forces of like reactionary fascism in Europe get kicked back into overdrive as the response to the European financial crisis. But we're not in the Eurozone. The UK is not, it doesn't use the Euro, it uses the pound. We're in the swimming zone. So what happens is we have a different scandal the following year that is not as widely known outside of Europe. In 2009, we have the European, sorry, the European,

the UK parliamentary expenses scandal. And this is the moment when politics came back into the country and the small parties, including UKIP, surged to begin receiving big shares of the vote in European level and local level elections. So Alice, can you tell us all about the expenses scandal? Yeah, no, basically MPs have a very, very generous or certainly at this point had a very, very generous system of grants, whereby you could expense pretty much anything you wanted on the basis that it was a parliamentary necessity. And it would all just go into a file that no one ever looked at. And there was no oversight. And that was cool, right? Until one day, the Daily Telegraph looked in the file. And this was very bad for everyone. Because when you looked in the

file, it found things like, ah, I have expensed like a three pound sandwich, or I have expensed a 60 pound upgrade to first class for a journey that I didn't really need to take. Or the biggest one, I have expensed to the taxpayer, building a new duck house on the grounds of my mansion for ducks. Duck house is a little house for ducks. Is this a thing in England? Duck house is the slob fraternity on the grounds of the land. A hen house? Do they make eggs? Is just convenient for the ducks? No, no, no, it's a purely ornamental duck house. You have your big house. And then in case you worry that the ducks are maybe getting rained on, which is not good for a duck, because duck's backs

are famously water absorbent, you get a little duck house. And then you build that to the treasury. So basically, Tony Soprano was getting in a lot of trouble about this. No, you know what this is. You know what this is. This whole scandal was very much the bit in uncut gems where the guys grab him and they're like, I heard you got your fucking poultry surfaced, right? Yeah. Oh, yes. It was a series of extremely dumb guy expenses with which then became immediately a huge scandal. Yeah. Yeah, as they rightly should have. And so what happened? Only it's rare. It's usually Scandinavia that'll fire a fucking guy for like a single like meal that they expensed wrong. Well, but they didn't get fired necessarily because this was just common practice. It only

became a problem when people began to realize that the MPs of the country were basically like expensing literally everything they could. I know of one guy, you actually did get his swimming poultry surfaced as a result of this. Was it Yvette Cooper who claimed that she was paying rent to her sisters and like live in her broom cupboard? This kind of thing. The duckhouse thing is like scratching the surface, right? We cannot express how much the entire political class of this country were caught very openly just taking the piss. Just taking the money. Just with a hand in the bag.

Although to be fair, very unusual to go around the houses of parliament opening random secret files and not find child pornography. You have two identical manila files to publish. You can only publish one of them. One of them says Elm Guest House and the other one is pull the trigger on every single expenses claim and you're just kind of sweating and you're like, and then you get the call from MI5 and you're like, well. Travis, to fully explain a duckhouse to you, Travis, I just want to say this, the Brits, they live in the duckhouse until the third repayment to Tom Nook at which point they've reimbursed enough to move into a normal person house.

Okay, that they understand. So as a result of this, what we get is a massive collapse in confidence in the main parties in lots of different kinds, in lots of different elections. We're still not seeing all of the ramifications of this yet, I don't think. No, I don't think so either. So the UKIP receives 16.5% of the vote in the 2009 European Parliamentary elections. This is where the British National Party is basically run out of town and is which is an openly fascist party is no longer in existence. And what's interesting is that people frequently say that it was having their party leader Nick Griffin on question time

that destroyed it. And so everyone trying to say that you ought to have fascists on chat shows all the time says, no, you have to do it. Look, we had Nick Griffin on, he was embarrassed, and the BNP was destroyed. But all that actually happened was the BNP was replaced by another party that had almost its same ideology. Also, Boris Johnson did exactly the same thing, but it worked. He went on those shows, they thought he was cute, and now we're married. Yeah. And so the BNP was replaced, the idea, the BNP's political project wasn't ended by Nick Griffin going on question time. It was replaced by another party with the same project for an unrelated reason, which is the European Parliament elections.

Can we do one second just explaining to American listeners why the fuck the British politicians go on questions and answer shows like that? That just is not a thing that happens in America. Questions time, it comes up so fucking much in the history of your political class. I don't understand it. What is it? I'll be honest, I don't know why it exists, but partly it's because, I mean, if you want to look at why it might exist, I mean, it exists for no reason that is helpful to anyone. It exists largely to generate headlines. The BBC is a public body, has this, has a job to educate, entertain, and inform. And so it saw it's part of its role as providing the public, as having insight into what

politicians are thinking and give the public access to politicians. But the question time is now sort of more used to generate ratings and takes and controversies. Can we get your Biden on it? It's basically like Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer, but for people who went to Oxbridge. Yeah, but then all the questions are being asked by like, Yerda. Like every question is, oh, well, could I just ask you a minute, so what exactly is he fixed about a disgrace when the Muslims are taking the tax money and spending it on a paid affiliate? And then the government minister is like, what? The really funny thing, right, is that Scottish nationalists during the referendum were like, hmm, everybody on the BBC and every

single person asking questions on question time is clearly an MI5 plan. And like, if you weren't a Scottish nationalist, you laughed at them and you said that they were paranoid. And then they were just kind of proven right in an irritating way. And it just kind of turned out that, yeah, the whole thing was just like incredibly rigged. It's cool. It's sort of kind of like us in QAnon, just slowly, slowly finding out that they have somewhat of a point. Yeah, right. Like you don't want them to be right because they're annoying. Question time. This is amazing. This is like, spy shit. I'm in. I mean, later, obviously, once we get through this episode and we stop killing, you can't spell question time without Q. I mean, the Scottish National Party are a

stopped clock and it just so happens at the time that they stopped at is like the year 1200. Yeah. And the name of that year, 1984. That's right. So interestingly, in the 2010 election, Nigel Farage decides he's never been elected as an MP. He's trying to get elected. And I think either Thorek or Clackton, and he decides to fly a plane carrying a UKIP banner behind it, says vote for your country, vote UKIP. He went on anonymous people. He went on anonymous people. What do you think happened next? He attempted to fly a plane. I'm going to say the word attempted means that he fucked up flying the plane. Oh yeah, real bad. Basically, the worst you can do flying a plane is what happened. That's like never a good way to describe

getting into a plane and taking off, attempting to fly it. Yeah, flying a plane can only be successful or not. That's not one of those like in between, like I kind of fucked it up. You're okay. That was a localized 9-11 style incident. I can't believe that Drolldall survived his crash, but also Farage. Like this is bullshit. Would you take both? If we could reverse them both? I don't know. So what happened was that basically they just, I think they might have just like put the banner on really shoddily and hastily, so it wrapped around the tail, then if the aircraft immediately after it took off, it lead to a plane crash. Basically just shook up. Just shook up Farage. Oh, your country boat, UKIP, and they crashed the plane immediately. It almost kills the guy.

Oh, damn UKIP boys. What a fucking clown show. Yeah. So basically the only people who ever become UKIP MPs, with one exception, are Douglas Carsewell and Mark Reckless, both of whom an amazing name, a 10 out of 10 name for a UKIP MP. Mark Reckless? Is that his real name? Yep. That's it. They were both elected in 2010, and they defected to UKIP. And then in 2015, only Carsewell kept his seat. Yeah. Carsewell had to change his name from Douglas Plainsbad after this. I'm pretty sure about this. If I'm wrong, it doesn't really matter because... They were both defectors. I don't think any UKIP MP has ever actually been elected originally as a UKIP MP. I think in 2015, Carsewell was...

He was re-elected, but he was not. There's never been an original UKIP MP who stood at the start as a UKIP MP. So the three people are called Reckless, Carsewell, and Not All? Yeah. Well, Not All comes later. Not All. If you want to know something about Douglas Carsewell, he still unfortunately is a journalist because this country just had infinite columnists. But he recently said, one good thing about the coronavirus is that it will return the bow and curtsy. Cool. I'm curtsy and constantly, yes. Love that. Fucking David Foster Wallace and Gromit over here. It fucking sucks that our entire society just has this fascist undercurrent running through it that's basically based on

jeeves and wooster. I fucking hate it. It's literally just like, I can finally appreciate the fact that I don't like other people's bodies and warmth and lives at all. So basically, at the 2015 general election, UKIP won 13% of the vote, but only got this one MP because they're popular, but they don't have concentrated support anywhere. And because of this, they're always threatening the Tories more or less everywhere. David Cameron always ends up having to capitulate to his right, which I wonder if that's a lesson the left should learn with regard to the Labour Party anyway. It was a shame he had that stroke. So what happens is David Cameron in an attempt to try to get UKIP voters to vote for the Tories

instead of UKIP, feeling threatened by Carsewell and Reckless and Farage, and promises the Brexit referendum. We all know how that goes. Brexit happens in Farage Resides, 2016. Watching a small TV in his kitchen, in the sky. Oh, he's not God forever. Don't worry. He's staying well out of the sky, believe me. Yeah, so what happens is, in the time since the Brexit referendum, how many leaders, this is back for the Q&A on anonymous people,

how many leaders has UKIP been through? I'll give you a hint. It's less than 10. I mean, I'll go for five. I'm going to say three, eight. Travis the cynical realist once again defeats us. So Diane James is chosen as leader after Farage Resides 18 days later. Paul Nuttall is then elected. Come on, man. I'm telling you, this one is going to fucking break my brain. You can't add Nuttall to Reckless and Carsewell. And Kilroy Silk. There's lots of great names in this one. Paul Nuttall just fucking racist Rupert the Bear, one of the most amazing men to have ever lived.

So what happens is, it's relatively uneventful. In March 2017, both UKIP MPs, Carsewell and Reckless defect again. And then after the 2017 election, which sees UKIP's share of the vote start to go down and down and down, Nuttall steps down. And then there's another leadership election. So Anne Marie Waters, who's like an, founded a group called Sharia Watch. Yeah. She agrees. Very close tweets. That rules, man. I'm swapping out my Seiko. Yeah. Was basically said, if you don't make me the leader and bring my ideas into the mainstream of UKIP, because like you got Brexit, now it's time to finish the job basically.

See, she said she was going to take on the role that if she wasn't elected, everyone would have a mass walkout. But then the people who were like, the people who are like, I'm racist and were supporting her and the people who are like, I'm not racist, but I personally, I think that the Sharia Watch was a great invention. It tells you exactly when to pray, when to not eat pork, all that good stuff. So what happens is Henry Bolton is then made leader, promising to move the party away from the overt Islamophobia. And Anne Marie Waters breaks away to form another fascist party that was breathlessly covered by the media and more or less given, again, a false lease on life,

which then died on the vine as soon as they actually stood for something. I believe it was a Lewish and bi-election. They got 1% of the vote in, but they got like 30% of the press coverage. Anyway, it's then revealed that Henry Bolton left his wife for a relationship with, and this is massive bridge-end secret service areas here, left his wife for a relationship with an ex-model called Joe Marnie, who then sent out a massive SMS campaign against Meghan Markle that's let's just say was widely described as extremely racist. Nice. Are we going to drop it in? Can you tell us what it was? Who sends SMS? You get people. Yeah, they're old. Yeah, they're old. They all have the green. They're all old. I wouldn't even know how to begin to do a campaign like that.

It feels very funny, right? That I'm being... After this party wins, it's raison d'etre is fulfilled. It then falls into fractious inviting where just some bullshit about the royal family and someone that the leader's having an affair with ends up causing another row. Well, that's the thing is with these parties, they're basically like, let's get the lads together. We're going to go hurt the minorities. But then they get together and they're like, okay, we're here. And then they don't do the next part because it's illegal. And so they get bored and fight each other. Breaking news, breaking news. Alice Caldwell Kelly has been kidnapped by Q Informants. Or rather, her internet has been intercepted by a combination of the Gates Foundation

and that bleach company that Trump likes. So she has been taken away and extraordinarily renditioned from this podcast. So we'll be completing it with just the reply of us. She was riffing a little too effectively and we had to send in the Q team. Yeah, absolutely. I'm so glad that somebody else got kidnapped for once though and not me. I'm kind of sick of it. So Alice has been kidnapped with the rest of us soldier on. So this is pure bridge and secret service with Henry Bolton. Anyway, it's a rocking conflict between UKIP's leading committee and Bolton led to Bolton being kicked out of the party. But then he refused to leave. The members voted him out and a man named Gerard

Batten, a member of European Parliament, was brought in. Batten? Fuck dude, you're all just called cricket bats. I loved Gerard Batten's films. He was awesome in Olympus has fallen. So Batten is where it gets interesting and where it gets very Q and on anonymity because Batten had some very interesting ideas about how to keep the party relevant and attract new blood. Oh my God, I remember this. Oh, no. Oh, no, this happened. Oh, no. Yeah, that's right. I forgot. Go on. So Batten basically decides he really wants to turn up the why can't we say radical Islam is a problem element of UKIP. And so he invites Tommy Robinson, Sargon of Akkad, Count Dancula, and Milo Yiannopoulos to be members again.

Yeah, you want to make them cool. Yeah. So we're back to the salient feature of our timeline is boomers becoming 4chan YouTube comment like Pepe Trolls. I couldn't believe it when I saw Carl Benjamin fucking trying to run there until he got that milkshake right across the phase, which was very funny. Tommy Robinson also got the milkshake. Are Marcus and Milo milkshake free so far? Don't know. Yeah. It was very, very lovely to watch the other two, though, just with their faces full of just white, white, awful liquid they didn't want on it and just kind of walking through crowds trying to get wiped off. Milo Yiannopoulos is a real bugbear of mine because he and I were at Cambridge at the same time and I get confused with him like not infrequently.

No. Well, do you dye your hair terrible, man? You wear furs a lot and dye your hair blonde. That's not good. I mean, not that, not that frequently, but it's happened more times than I would like. Oh, no. It's like when, I gotta imagine, it's like when people come up to me and I, and I introduce myself as Jake and they go, oh, Jake from State Farm. And I'm like, oh, that's right. Fuck you. Look at that. Oh, Jake Flores. Plain ass khakis. Like, how dare you? Yeah. So with basically with this influx of YouTubers, the party takes on an interesting edge. Now it starts basically posting Gamergate stuff onto various official accounts because they have Count Dancula and a guy who call himself Sargon of Akkad, which is an ancient fucking ruler that I

only know because I play civilization five and six. Fuck. So this is emails from Politico that I'm now reading out. This is the baton era. The new UKIP is part of the international freedom movement alongside the American conservative rights at Sargon, Carl Benjamin, whatever. And they would consider themselves to be brothers in arms, despite the many thousands of miles that separate them again in arms. You're just a you're fat YouTube guys that complain that the boobs and video games are too small. But wasn't this the the time around the time that Steve Bannon was trying to build a coalition? I remember him doing the rounds at this time and hitting you guys up for some support and trying to rally in France as well. Yeah, I don't know if these,

I mean, I think they're Paul Joseph Watson, who's also involved in this and Count Dancula and Tommy Robinson, all these people, they're probably all getting hit up by people who want to get their audience for a new conservative movement. I don't think they were all working together because Steve Bannon, love him or hate him, he knows when a spent what is a spent political force. And after 2016, UKIP is the definition of a spent political force. Yeah, I just I'm just loving the idea of them trying to bring Kilroy Silk back and just showing him stills from dead or alive to for Dreamcast and showing him the titties. And they're like, I mean, do you think these are too big, Robert Watson said that the party is part of one unified effort to

preserve Western civilization and also add nudes mods to every video game. Yeah, that's right. Which is what I talk about and talk about how, you know, maybe if girls wanted someone to quarantine with them, they should be nicer to nice guys. Yeah, that's basically what UKIP is even now. That kicks so much ass. That's their party. So they went from like cup brawlers to whiny YouTube in cells. Like that's right. Party fucking kicks ass. What am I correct? Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a phase where their de facto leader for a bit was Godfrey Bloom? I think he's always been a big player, but I don't think he was ever actually leader. There was an awesome period around like after Farage's resignation where somehow Godfrey Bloom

was like the main like blustering force doing all the talking. And there was just this awesome moment where he was walking down the street with the UKIP manifesto. A bunch of journalists came up and they were like, why is that? Because there were like hundreds of people pictured on the front and they were like, why is there not a single like black or brown person pictured on the front of the UKIP manifesto? And he went, you're picking people up by the color of their skin. That's disgusting. And they started beating a reporter with the copy of the manifesto that he was holding. No, he wasn't leader. He wasn't leader. He wasn't leader. However, but he was always a prominent figure. He was another MEP. And so Gerard Batten says, I don't want to change UKIP. I want

to take it to another level. I want us to be a populist party. Batten used to be a phone salesman who likes to wear loud pink suits. So he kind of is like Kilroy Silk, but without the charm. He's like the T-Mobile CEO. He's doing like Keemstar shit. We're going to take it to another level, baby. Basically Batten then labeled Islam a death cult and brought in open fascist Tommy Robinson. And then associated UKIP with the Democratic Football Lads Alliance, which again is a fascist street fighting group made up of YouTube in cells, which again is a thing. The Democrat Football Lads Alliance just every single time it gets me. This is so interesting because we can see what Robinson has been up to since our episode

with Annie Kelly on him. But just last month, something happened to him. Look at that. Oh yeah. Stuff keeps happening to him. He's going to his own places. So basically what we get is Gerard Batten taking UKIP, which always was this thing, and then everyone in UKIP sort of humming and hawing about what he's doing to it. So it says Robinson's appointment was the as a personal advisor to Batten precipitated the exodus of all the old guard. He wasn't ever actually allowed to join because he's we used to be part of the BNP. You're basically if you have ever been part of the BNP, you're prohibited from doing more or less anything formally, but you're allowed to do whatever you

want de facto. Hello, Mr. Trump. Will you please take me? Will you please take me in the USA? They're trying to take my freedom away. Please. Yeah. He's a refugee, but for the free speech. And so basically again, because UKIP, especially after the Kilroy Silk Era, is all about never saying the quiet part loud and keeping just respectable enough. But as the country has gone right, what the quiet part is and what the loud part is, the line between those two things has always shifted. And so all the things that Robert Kilroy Silk was saying got imbued out of the party in 2004, like Gerard Batten or Godfrey Bloom would be saying in like 2016-17, and they'd be considered the mainstream of the party. The problem then

was Tommy Robinson, who was just a little bit too far to the right. And so then there was this battle between the old respectable UKIPers, quote unquote unquote, and the whiny YouTube comments guys who were represented by like Tommy Robinson and Paul Joseph Watson and stuff over the soul of the party again. So Batten lost his European Parliament seat, resigned as leader, and then but then ran again as deputy leader with a puppet mastering, a guy who was going to be leader who was in his faction, whose name was, and this is the best of the UKIP names so far, Dick Brain. Yeah, this is literally for the audience, the word dick, and then brain with an E at the end. There is no, this guy's name is Dick Brain. Yeah, this guy's name is Dick Brain.

Another amazing man. Why don't you change your fucking name? Yeah, it's the extended fucking trash future Q and on anonymous universe. I'm sorry, but going into public the public sphere politics with a name like Dick Brain is the equivalent of that that fucking dream you have where you're nude at school or some shit. Like what the fuck man, change your fucking name. It's not hard. Just don't just don't go by dick by Richard. Incredibly unusual in Britain to go by dick if your name is Richard. This guy wanted it. He wanted it. He wanted it. Yeah, he wanted it. There's no other logical conclusion. Yeah, that's because like the kinds of people who would fight over a party that's a spent political force are the kinds of people with like the sheer

ballsack to be like, yeah, you know what? My name is Dick Brain. My name is Dick Brain. Do you want to have Dick Brain and my and my and my sister and my sister? Dick Brain just flying behind a fucking plane just crashing into a hill. So what happened? What happened was that basically Baton was like, okay, I promised I'd resign as leader if I lose my European seat, which he did, resigned and then said, okay, I'm going to run as deputy leader. And then my good friend Dick Brain is going to be leader. The idea was to keep control of the party again. Why you'd want to do that? I have no idea. Baton was then suspended as a for his association with Tommy Robinson at all. But Dick Brain stayed on as leader of the party for a little

while until he then resigned himself just before Halloween 2019, citing quote internal conflict and an inability to prevent a purge of good members from the party referring to the party's decision to basically add an anti Islam faction and the in UK called integrity to a list of prescribed organizations. Integritas. Yes. So this is the the manifesto of integrity and a party within a party that is the UKIP faction of the weirdo youtubers. Integrity was founded in August 2019 after the UKIP NEC undemocratically refused to allow Gerard Baton to put his track record and vision for UKIP for the membership during the leadership election. UKIP members were not allowed to decide for themselves whether they wanted to be his party

leader. So in one stroke, the NEC destroyed party morale, causing exits of party members and validated the leadership election and undermine the moral legitimacy of the new leader Dick Brain. Wait, but right now you're trying to sell your fucking party and you just spent a whole paragraph whining. Integrity will encourage UKIP to broaden its remit beyond Brexit, speak hard, hitting truths to power without trimming, compromising or bowing to political correctness, fight for freedom of speech, promote patriotism, nationhood and controlled borders, and challenge the anglophobic globalism of the political class. So just parentheses just crashing down over here. The elites are like we hate English, actually we want to get rid of it. Do

you know what we sound like to everyone else in the world? And actually they're right. Re-establish the state's relationship with citizens based on protection and opportunity. Confront the dirty dirty smear merchants of the basery media. That is very close to literally just drawing that happy merchant meme. Yeah, they spelled it incorrectly. It's K-I. Halt state permitted child abuse, including the rape of underage girls by Muslim grooming gags and the promotion of LGBT ideology, especially gender confusion among primary school children. They're just assuming that there's like state permitted child abuse.

I mean, some kind of piece of gate shape. Insist that we can criticize Islam, support the traditional family, demand the humane slaughter of all food animals, etc, etc, etc, including expand, expand UKIP social media reach alongside heavy hitters such as Carl Benjamin, Mark Nietzsche and Katie Hopkins. Katie Hopkins, heavy hitter. Here's the thing, taking drugs and going to the hospital. Enough of these gender Muslims. That's what I say. Even Katie Hopkins literally take like a hard drug and then get admitted to a hospital and then get like deported afterwards and then lie about it. Like, wasn't it a pedamine or something?

Yeah, in South Africa. Something like that in South Africa? Yeah, we need to get her in the party. We need to be like her. And she's only famous because she went on The Apprentice. Here's where the story comes to a close, which is where we got to where we are now. So everybody might want to keep a chart of these. So UKIP the party is suing former leader Richard Brane, former deputy leader Tony Sharpe and

former general secretary in one time returning officer Jeff Armstrong. This is from an article about sort of tech and data breach news. I'll post that in there. Oh, he's Richard Brane now. Yeah. And so while these lawsuits are ongoing, as several UKIPers argued over the elections, the NEC vote voted to suspend Jeff Armstrong and Dick Brane, and then Dick Brane suspended the entire NEC. And then the NEC was subsequently unsuspected by an NEC member they forgot to suspend who then resuspected Dick Brane.

I suspect that fascism is literally attempting to make your history so ridiculous that no one will pay attention. So everyone is suing each other. Everyone's trying to suspend and expel each other. And at this point, nobody knows who should have access to what systems at party HQ. Everyone is called the police at this point to claim that they all committed different crimes against one another. This is the British dream is that like you're just working with a bunch of guys called Dick Brane and Jeff Stretch Armstrong, and you're all you're all just calling the cops on each other constantly. This is what the people that Britain want. They identify with it. And that's why they vote for it. Yeah, that's right. They want to pull Stretch Armstrong's arms so hard

that weird goo starts dripping out from under his armpits and he's unplayable with ever again. We're very sorry for Jake. But yeah, you got you. You have such beautiful politics. You know, we have to go to QAnon people for names that is funny. You just have it just laying out there right just sitting out there. Here's that. Can I say here's the thing? This is not the high point of ridiculousness of this particular farce. At this point, everyone is suing and suspending and calling the police on each other. And at this point, a mysterious message is sent over everyone to everyone's emails or at least some people's emails or the address reply at munch.cockington.com. Can you explain munch? Because I know a few British awful words

like minge and mung, but I don't know munch. What's munch? I mean, a munch is actually a computer. It's a computer term meaning to manipulate and combine different data tables into one. It just sounds like minge. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was also a swear word. No, it almost is, but it's not. So here's the text of the email that was sent by the people in the dick brain Tommy Robinson integrity faction, the people who are trying to kick them out of the party. Subject, your UKIP emails. On Wednesday, we legally got all your UKIP emails for years, ones from or to you, which which you sent from outside of UKIP to anyone with a UKIP email. If anyone says we do not have them or did not get them legally, they are lying.

This is why we removed the party secretary. After two days, our BB team will be reviewing the emails for evidence and the useful parts can find their way anywhere even to your neighbors. We know where you are. Think how much you will lose. We give you a chance by midnight on Friday, 18. You must resign from UKIP and all your positions you claim in UKIP, sending the resignation to both membership at UKIP.org and action at integrity purple.com, who do not have any connection but can verify for us. Then we won't do anything. Once you betrayed the party leaders, you don't deserve pity, but we give you your choice. Okay, this email sounds like it was written by cats and dogs pretending to be

pretending to be humans to like trick them into like freeing them or like, you know, feed them twice. An unlikely alliance between cats and dogs to destroy UKIP. This is a bunch of YouTubers who are fighting to keep their friend club that has not pulled above like 1% in years. I love it though. This is truly the bottom of the barrel. Yeah, you have 18 days. This was dismissed as blackmailed by a judge and nothing came of it. So now the party was then has been passed through another several handfuls of different leaders, including a one woman named Mountain. No, what do you mean? What's her full name?

It's facing and the part. I think Joe Matt Pat Mountain, I think and the party is now facing the party as it has been since the referendum is now basically almost certainly going to go bankrupt. You know, and so having a mountain is kind of a slow, but I'm still still recovering now. So having faded from the political limelight, they now just exist to generate strange local news headlines. Here's two from the last month. The first ex UKIP councillor claims he was beaten up in a bizarre row over a popular grass verge. Like a hilltop? What way is it popular? What's a grass like a patch of grass or yep? Yeah, so it was a patch of grass alongside a road that wasn't legally a pavement.

And so he decided to plant a bunch of flowers on it, but people kept walking over them. And so he put barbed wire fencing around it and then it got into a huge row where he was like pushed a little bit and then sent pictures of himself smiling, being like, I'm injured to the local paper. It just I had not no part of it is a scam. It just seems so seedy. Wait, wait, fuck off with the next one. I just saw the next one. Please read this to me because this is ex you ex UKIP candidate admits to punching police horse in the face three times during riot after football. They capitalized three capitalized three to be like this. This person did not stop after that second punch squarely landed on that horse's face. No, he gave that horse the haymaker the

fucking this silhouette, the silhouette of a horse in an interview. And it's like actor's voice. And it's like, oh, it was terrified. So I just feel like I love UKIP now because it just it's a party that exists to like vent the frustrations of YouTube people. But also it's the party of people who like wake up every morning and put on a phony neck brace. It's just that kind of place like a phony like one crutch with like a cloth around the underarm area. Yeah, and it just it is all because of some like weird air like a like an airline scheme or something. It is the party of sort of just weirdos who always have 12 different kinds who think their investments are diversified because they're in different pyramid schemes. These guys,

it's this is the party and it was always like this. It's just that it got propelled to electoral relevance by a combination of the expenses scandal and the right wing press. It was always this. We didn't give reckless or dick brain a good shot, I think. Give brain a chance. But I think that is our story of the strange journey of UKIP. I don't think dick brain is done if he wants. I think he could come to America and probably do pretty damn good. Oh, for sure. Yes. However, conscious of time, I want to hand over to QAnonAnonymous's Jake Rakitansky for the patented show ending short story. Yeah. So I mean, I read through the UKIP episode a little bit, you know, before this just trying

to get some kind of idea of what kind of story I could tell. And my initial idea I was talking with Julian was to do like a lock stock and two smoking barrels sort of like heist where the Trash Future team and the QAnonAnonymous team, you know, partner up to sort of execute this, like, you know, this guy, Richie-esque heist and steal the charter. And then I started writing it and I was like, man, I don't know jack shit about like London heist and stuff. And I don't have time to watch lock stock and two smoking barrels. I'm like, what is, what is something I am? Wait, wait, you've never seen it? No, I've seen, of course I've seen it, but like I'm not recently and I didn't want to read, I didn't have time to revisit. So I was like, but what is something

like recently like a kind of heist thing that I can immediately gravitate to? And I was like, oh, I know Rainbow Six Siege. Um, so without further ado, I bring you UKIP Six Siege. The hulking engine of the Renault Twingo spotted and barked as Alice threw the aggressively styled muscle car into park outside a pair of massively gilded gates. Hussein peered over a large newspaper front page headline soup debate resurfaces after Caucasian child has served fountain drink filled with broccoli and cheddar stew. Just outside the car nailed to the white stone wall next to the large gate was a golden plaque that read for Raj estate. Riley was tinkering with a video feed from some sort of remote controlled RC drone sizing up the building's interior.

Let's go over the plan one more time. Yeah, someone already selected the character that I wanted to be or I saw souls listen up. Alice pulled a pair of fingerless leather gloves over her hands and began to strap on body armor. Three simple looking men in the roomy backseat of the Twingo leaned forward in anticipation. I'm going to say it one more time for the losers in the back. And that's it. So if you miss something at this point, it's on you. It's simple. We're in the midst of orchestrating a massive coup amongst the UKIP party. Their leadership and complete disarray now is the perfect time to take over and restore the party to its original ideals of class consciousness. But in order to execute a legal takeover, we have to be in possession of

the party's charter. We know it's hidden somewhere in Farage's mansion. One of the men in the back with a pensive expression and a mop of golden hair atop his head seemed confused. But surely UKIP must have other checks and balances in place. Seems like giving full control to whoever possesses a slip of paper would be problematic. Alice not eager to waste any more time discussing some writers made up pseudo political backstory interrupted them all. We have to go in there and steal that charter and we want you guys to do it for us. She looked at the three sheepish men in the backseat, Jake, Julian and Travis. The one with the glasses, Julian was running his fingers through a sketchy looking mustache and beard. He smelled terrible. I'm ready. Let's do this.

Sounds good to me. How do I invert my aim? With a slamming of heavy car doors, the team found themselves standing outside a pristine looking mansion, the twingooz engine roared and peeled away. The shortest of the three American podcasters was grinning ear to ear. Finally, someone who was willing to go the extra mile when it came to mill Sim R peeing. Loud and clear. Alice's mic chopped in, issuing calm commands to their earpieces. We'll provide overwatch from the parking lot. Guess in, find that charter and get out. We're counting on you. Before the boards left her lips, Jake had taken off towards one of the compound walls, unsheathing a large grappling hook, throwing it onto the roof and scaling up one of the mansion walls.

Travis looked down at his belt, grenades, C4, breech charges, too many buttons. He liked his shooter simple, like the original Medal of Honors. Jake was already near the roof, hanging upside down, taking potshots at someone inside. Travis could tell by the pips of red mist, Jake was slowly edging himself towards death and ultimately a critical mission failure. Julian said calmly, he unfolded a large plastic breech charge and flattened it across a clearly destructible surface. Julian slammed his finger on the bright red trigger. Behind the soft wooden exterior, a metal barrier had been placed. Julian looked absolutely stunned that his explosives had resulted in a dead end. Allow me. Travis stepped forward, wielding a complicated

looking device. He placed it against the metal plate and watched with satisfaction as a hot stream of molten laser cut a Travis-sized hole in the solid steel. Travis and Julian stacked up, moving through the house, stepping over debris, hearing it crunch beneath their steel-toed boots. Alice blipped into their comms. Two contacts. Best one. I'll spray a buckshot when rippling past the guy's heads. Julian and Travis hugged a wall. There was a small hole in the wall where the shot came from. Julian could see a small pair of pajama feet wiggling. Shoes were little curly booties with tassels on the end. Meanwhile, Jake stormed through the upstairs hallway, clearing each room one by one. He aimed his M4 wildly and scooted into a hallway down a flight

of stairs. He burst into a room where Julian and Travis were standing triumphantly over a fallen pair of guards, huddled in the corner wearing his sleepy nighttime jammies. It was none other than Nigel Farage. His face was covered with tears and snot. Please, don't kill me. Jake stepped forward and lowered his rifle. Don't worry, we're not here to kill you. A bullet flew out of nowhere, entering Jake's soft, misshaped skull and exiting through his cheek. He collapsed to the ground. Another shot rang out, piercing Travis in the neck. He dropped to the floor without so much as a sigh. Before Julian could process what was happening, he found his neck completely twisted backwards, looking directly into Alice's cold, dead eyes. With an unsettling snap, he crumpled to the ground

as well. Hussain and Riley appeared behind Alice, each holding a fully kitted out sniper rifle, the barrel smoldering. Nigel Farage began to crawl backwards. His hands up in defense, are you, are you here to save me? We're here for the Charter. Where is it? Nigel looked down at the ground. What did you kill them? Alice glanced at the dead bodies of Jake, Julian and Travis. She shrugged. Didn't want them guessing any ideas. Also, less witnesses. Nigel looked down at his trousers. A large pool of urine had begun to form within them. Well, it's about time someone came to rid me of it. At least you youngsters seem passionate about it. I flew a goddamn plane into the ground for this party, nearly killed myself.

Riley was getting impatient. Where's the Charter, Farage? Farage nodded and tried to gesture with his hand. It is where my loyalty has always remained in the house, first floor, inside of the... With a pleasant smile on his face, Nigel Farage fell asleep, mid-sentence. More urine trickled down his leg. Alice put her head in her hands. The entire Trash Future Bravo team began tearing the house apart, looking for the Charter. Riley poured through linen closets and under beds, who sank dug behind dozens of cans of soup in the pantry, hoping to maybe find a flavor worth taking home with him. Milo was nowhere to be seen.

Alice pulled the fingernails off of her kills and attached them to a stylish-looking necklace, casually hanging around her neck. Riley cried out. The three rendezvoused in the middle of the living room, where Riley was holding up a large national front flag. The three looked at it, not surprised. Alice said she grabbed the flag out of Riley's hand and dragged it over to a fireplace, where a roaring fire happened to have remained uninterrupted by the previous melee. She tossed it in the flames, watching it burn. All of a sudden, the light bulb went off in Riley's head. Where my loyalty has always remained. Wait, it's the flag! The Charter is the flag! He raced over to the fire and pulled out the smoldering piece of cloth. He grabbed a nearby

carafe filled with lemon water and poured it over the burning edges. Look, look! Riley exclaimed, where a few droplets of water had spilled on the body of the flag. A couple letters began to appear. Of course, invisible ink! Quickly, more water! Thinking quickly, he mustered up as much saliva as he could in his mouth, and began to spit onto the flag. Both Alice and Hussain rushed over and also began spitting on the flag. The letters of the Charter began to fade in. Hussain read them aloud. Hear ye, hear ye, those who possess the party's first character, assume control of said party's leadership, and take possession of the founding member, Alan Skid's wooden train collection.

Alice looked bored. After seeing that that Charter is written on a fucking NF flag, I don't really feel like putting in the time and energy until the rebranding we're going to do. Fun day, though. Riley and Hussain nodded. Uh-huh, yeah. Hussain piped up. And it was nice to get rid of the QAnon guys, although I do feel a little bad about Travis. He has a daughter, you know. They all nodded solemnly, for stepping through the rubble and out into the sunlight. Alice, Riley and Hussain hopped into the threatening looking, once again, and peeled off into the night. Another literary tour de force. That's not how a round of Rainbow Six, they don't have a game.

Or the round just ends. Then you get your stats and you find that you never shot anybody. Round end, kills zero. Leaderboard, bottom. 12-year-old on Ritalin, already called you the N-word. Well, Jake, thank you very much for sharing that story. My pleasure. I hope. Alice sounds ruthless. I love how she's collecting fingernails on the neck. Listen, she's like next level operator. She's five steps away from becoming like Colonel Kurtz. Yes. Yeah, it sounds like. She's in CO team seven. However, I also note that we have been going through a very long time. So I would now like to say, from the bottom of the TF hearts, thank you very much to the QAnon guys for doing this with us today. Thank you for

making me feel a little bit better about politics in my country. That's what we're here for. Me? A little bit worse. So if you're listening to this on the TrashFuture RSS feed, I encourage you to check out the QAnon Anonymous RSS feed. And I would encourage you to check out the TrashFuture RSS feed, you QAnon listener. Yes. And two great tastes. It tastes great together. And on either RSS feed, maybe by a T-shirt. Yes. Yes. And to follow them on social media platforms like Twitter and subscribe on Patreon pages for both pages. That's right. Web pages. But wait, Jake, isn't that going to be too much money? Well, Riley, I'm glad you asked. You can subscribe to both podcasts for as little as

$5 a month. $5 a month? Why, I spend more than that on my Double Whipless Fancy Orange Mocha Chip Frappuccino from Freaking Starbucks. Exactly. Save yourself to diarrhea. Don't get two quarter pounders with cheese. Subscribe to two podcasts where you can unlock hours and hours and hours of content perfect for perusing during these corona times. Guys, I think we need to redo the infomercial, but we need the beginning where someone's holding a $5 bill but doesn't know what to do with it. Like, they just keep kind of fumbling it. And they're like, what the fuck do I do with this? Someone's watching TV or like listening to the radio and is just like, oh. And they have a $5 bill that they don't know what to do with. Turn off the TV. My name is Sankh Svani and I approve

this message. All right. This is going to last forever if we don't kill it. So I'm going to say thank you very much for listening. Check out QAnon Anonymous. If you're a TF listener, check us out. If you're a QAnon Anonymous listener, you know where to find us. We got shirts. We'll link them in the description. We got the Patreon. We already know about it. They got the Patreon. You already know about it. I think that's about time for us. So thank you very much, everyone. What a blessing. Thank you for having us. May the Honotwingo drive you through the skies safely, boys, and all people of the trash future world.