TRASHFUTURE - DumBe (ft. Phil Wang)

Episode Date: November 2, 2017

Another half sode this week pals... but this time, it's due to technical issues. My computer ate the second half. This was an episode we - Riley (@raaleh) and Milo (@milo_edwards) recorded with comedian Phil Wang (@PhilNWang) last month, and we bullshit for a while about a few dumb inventions and other fun nonsense! We recorded this episode last month, just before Hussein (@HKesvani) joined up full, so expect to see more of him in the coming weeks as we start recording afresh. Like, follow, and subscribe... and come to our dang live show in London on November 14th! https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/trashfuture-podcast-live-with-pierre-novellie-hussein-kesvani-and-more-tickets-39214571840

Hey, it's Riley here, Rala on Twitter. We're coming at you with a half-sode this week on account of my computer sucks and ate the second half of this episode. But if you're in London on the 14th, you should come to our live show at the Betsy Trotwood at 8. We're gonna have an amazing lineup there. It's gonna be me, Hussain, Ryan Broderick, global deputy news editor at Buzzfeed, and previous guest in this show, Pierre Novelli, multiple previous guests in this show, and like comedy good people, Alex Keely, Olga Koch, you know them, you love them. It's gonna be like 8 quid, it's gonna be really fun, so you should come out. Anyway,

enjoy this half-sode with comedy legend Phil Wang, where we basically just don't focus on anything for a while, but make a lot of good Iliad jokes. Peace! Coming at you live from Riley's darkened alcove. That is, for some reason, painted red. It's a proper industrial canal out there. There's like old abandoned warehouses and signs that have been damaged. It's very cool. Do you feel like an old stripper? An old chimneysweep. You're just an old stripper. An old stripper. I feel very much like an old stripper. Well, I mean, Riley Kander, really an authentic Cockney accent. Oh yeah, that's here. The ultimate Dick Van Dyke. Anytime I try to do an impression of Paul Joseph Watson,

it always ends up coming out as the Dick Van Dyke of the alt-right. I say something along the lines of, and apparently the Las Vegas shooter was connected to Antifa. Imagine my shock. I think that's all right. I think that's quite a measured Paul Joseph Watson. I mean, I don't listen to his voice very much. I mean, you're not a big fan. He's such a dweeb. He's just such a loser. It's just such an obvious dork who is, you know, dorkiness can be a source of great power, great evil. I think there are two types. There are two reactions to being a loser, which all three of us here, I'm sure, are very ofay with. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. For sure. You either work harder for the side of good to get out of it,

to get out of your losership, or you give up and you give in to the bitterness of losership. And you buy a map. You buy a map and you put it up behind you. And then you're always licking a cherry sucker. So you're like a cherry ring pop. So your lips are always really red. Is this true of him? Is this why his lips are insanely red? So I'm largely assuming that he has like a giant oversized novelty lollipop just off screen. But I find I always find it a source of great British pride that our fascists have to go to America to find an audience. I mean, we have much like our comedians. They're so much more subtle than our fascists. Well, they're more writers. They're fascism. They're more writers than we do here.

There's different culture. Oh yeah. Oh, Emma, would you mind doing a little film of us? Thank you very much. There's some reason I told you. Would you mind just like doing that and washing up? As you're here, I noticed you being a woman over there. And I thought yeah, as we all know, the as we all know, white men on the far left are misogynist and racist. And we're always, we love silencing women in POC. Are you white, Riley? Oddly enough, yes. Are you? Yeah, I know I know it looks ambiguous. Yeah, I thought you look at least Mediterranean and no one's really quite sure if the trains are white. I mean, it doesn't shower much. Italians only became white like 50 years ago. That's true. Yeah. I mean, the Irish, the whitest people on earth are only

really technically white about the second world woman. Once we bring back for knowledge, we can finally really begin relegating the Irish to their proper place. I for one with with my my scholars, brow ridges and my lack of a Slavic brain pan and really just going to be poised to get a lot of good good promotions when it's come back. That'd be quite fun to bring back that old time erasism against like groups of people that don't really exist. You are as damn Ottomans. I tried to think a piece about how it's impossible to be racist against Ottomans, actually, because they're imperialists. So I'll be my hot take on the Ottomans. Nice. The Huns. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, when you say the Huns, you mean the Germans construed as the Hun or do you mean

the original? The original. The OG. The OG, the old Angus. Yeah, the OG huns. The OG huns. Well, hang on. The Angus wasn't the Huns. No, he was a Mongol. It was a Tilla. It was a Hun, but I've never been. I've never. I've never understood this difference. What is the difference? Well, the Huns, they were both similar men, but they were like the Huns from Mongolia, right? Well, no, the Huns were from Mongolia. They were from the Caucasus. Oh, they were both. They were both sort of a horse based pastoral note, like nomadic pastoralists who, you know, constructed sort of very large, but very delicate empires that sort of fell apart a couple generations after the death of the sort of dramatic leader that caused the empires. But that's just because,

you know, nomadic pastoralists are quite bad at maintaining control over large areas of territory administratively. Yeah. I mean, safe to say the days of a horseback emperor reigning over the Russian steppes are long gone. That's not something you'd see in the 21st century. Why don't we just barrel the camera? That's very good, Milo. Thank you. That's very good. So, hey, Phil Wang, notable comedian and baking commentator. As of last week, I'm the UK's premier baking commentator. I was on the Great British Bake Offs extra show where a panel of ostensibly baking uninterested people are paid to affect an interest in baking for an hour and a

half, which is then cut down to half an hour, I think. Or maybe it's an hour. So yeah, I had to sit down and talk about the pastry week. It was pastry week. Wow. All right. Sorry. Isn't every week on Great British Bake Off pastry week? Isn't that the sort of theme of the show? When's white week? That's what I want to do. It's pastry week, Bolivon month. And so I had to, I'm probably asking the wrong people. I don't have to bake off episodes. When does this podcast come out? A few weeks. Oh, okay. Then I'm not breaching my NDA. Yeah. And in the process of catching up the show, I fell deeply in love with one of the contestants who is this very sweet Russian gal who ended up being the gal eliminated on my episode.

And so she came in for the interview because the interview, the one is eliminated. So I turned up and realized it's her and started really freaking out because I have a tendency to come across very creepy to people I fancy. Is it the glasses? I think it's more my behavior and the things I say. Oh, right. Okay. The glasses don't help. Tell me the business cards that say Phil Wang, lover, entrepreneur, Milady. The business cards in the shape of a fedora. It just is a fedora. I actually, on that subject, I recently took advantage of a promotion on one of these business card sites. I can't remember which one it was, but right now, winging its way to me in the mail are 500 business cards that say Riley Quinn, male feminist.

How good does a business card business's business card have to be? Have you ever thought about that? Say you have a business card business and so you need a business card to advertise your business card business to give to prospective business cards, business card, other people, business card game or just clients who want their own business card, your own, how good can you imagine? How good do you have to make your business card business's business card? You've got it. It has to be the best business card business business. It has to be the best business card. Yeah, especially if it's if there's a very intricate power structure to your business card business card company, then it would be a business team business card business card.

All roads lead to ensemble. As they say, yeah. Well, yeah, yeah, exactly. In the Ottoman empire. At least after sort of, you know, the 15th century, for a podcast that's about technology, we really are focusing on what I don't know the business teams presided over the city is one of the most influential inventions of human history. I that's my hot take. Did the business teams invent the city? We were just talking about cities. Yeah, old cities. I mean, I should have said to Constantinople, really, but so I want to finish what you have to say about meeting meeting the Russian baker is of your. Oh, yeah. Well, she was extremely beautiful and very sweet. Nice. And I employed the age old tactic in the art of not paying creepy by not

saying anything at all. But yes, in just sweating, sweating and subtle game of 12 dimensional chess. If you look back on the footage, I'm just resting my chin on my hands. They're gazing at her, which is not much better in retrospect. I realize now I should have just said I like your buns or whatever. I don't know what these mainstream slugs like to hear, but I imagine you're coming. I bet you don't have a soggy bottom. Yeah, so many times. Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah, they're big into the big and they're big. It's a filthy show really. It's a disgusting show. It's your trash. Basically that show. It's it's for all the middle class people to exercise their perverted demons. The great British

projecting their sexuality onto cakes in the way the Victorians did with furniture. Oh, yeah. Although the Victorians also did that with food, though, like graham crackers were invented by a minister who wanted a thought that sort of spicy food would lead to sexual immorality. And so he created a new kind of cookie that was specifically supposed to taste like nothing and feel unpleasant as to making the most spiritually pure biscuit. Made a cracker that's just like my wife. It's bland. It's so unpleasant. It's very white. Wasn't it? Was the eclair sexual or was that a Simpsons joke?

The gummy Venus de Milo was highly sexualized, but that was just a miscommunication between Homer and Ashley Grant. It's like the dapper laughs defense. Oh, yeah. I like the idea that that should go down in legal history. The dapper laughs defense. In the case of dapper, he laughs in the case in the case of crown V last. Hey, guys, shall we do the podcast? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I've had enough of this nonsense. Let's get to the serious arm. Let's get to the serious test. Make some money. Come on. Every time we start this podcast, I always ask, guys, where's the smart money? What's the play here, guys? What are we doing? Because we've got to always be casting,

and you've got to never stop posting. Is this content lingo? No, this is blathering. Okay. This is business blathering. Okay. Business blathering. We run into a lot of business blathering on the show. Are you guys disruptors? Would you consider this disruptive podcast? We disrupt our own lives. Yeah, we disrupt our own lives to bring it on. Which I think technically makes it disruptive. Yeah, I often stay up way too late editing. I'd also turn me into a sort of, it's sort of been breaking my brain down into its component pieces and stitching them back together into some kind of weird simulacrum of human consciousness because I've done such things. So you're a deconstructed person? Yes. I'm a

Vitruvian man, but I have giant balls and a tiny dick, essentially. Why did that? That came out of that field. I'm not sure. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Do you got to have the wheel at least? The big circle? I was kind of focused on the dumplings for a minute. I just came back to you talking about the size of your balls, and I was like, oh, okay, I really shouldn't have dropped the ball there. It's a surprise to me, too. We weren't talking about anything. But it's because we've had to do such things as read a book about how you can be better at business by thinking like a toddler. We've watched such films as the emoji movie. Wow.

Yeah, it was bad. Why did you watch that for content for hashtag content? Is James Corden in that? Yes, of course, he's in that. The famous James Corden emoji. The high five that's like kind of a pervert, which is a way to express how you're just a general sense of malaise with the world, but with a veneer of joviality. I've run to hate the word malaise because I grew up in Malaysia where the malaise are a race of people. And so every time someone says malaise, I'm sent back. Wait, what? Where? Where are they? Give me my knife. This is Wangster. You malaise find somewhere else to go. I'm the malaise here.

This is Wang country. Malaidi. See what I'm dealing with. I'm so sorry. I guess this is why you have guests. He doesn't want guests because he wants to dilute. He doesn't even want microphones. He just wants to sit me down in a chair for an hour and just shout about nothing. I also want guests to dilute him. We're like a rowing married couple who have to have friends over in order to not have a row for a while or a child they don't really love just to save the relationship. So you adopt a new child basically every podcast every week. Yeah. One to two. You audition a new child. So hey, why don't we as a family sit down and talk about a really stupid product I found that is a really

sort of like late stage capitalism kind of thing. Takes you back to your childhood doesn't they know. And dabbers like come on kids gather around and I'll tell you about a really dumb product someone in Silicon Valley gather around the fire which was a dumb product in Malaysia. It's a very hot country gather on the fire and set your balls off as I tell you once upon a time there was an old man who was in search of seed capital now. I'll tell you a dumb product I have which is quite mainstream dumb product is the the sensor bin. Okay. Which is a bin that opens when you move near it so you don't have to touch anything or press on anything but it just opens as you wave over it you open it opens and you get three things in it and but it's it's still

disgusting because you have to open it up to put new batteries in all the time and you're just moved and it's just full of muck and like bin juice and like I open the battery compartment and it's just the battery just floating in bin juice. Oh I couldn't tell this is bin juice or battery acid either way this is not an ideal situation and so I put in new batteries but I think they're overpowered because then the bin yesterday just started opening and closing and I just got texts from my sister while I was out saying I think that I think the bin's rising up. I think it's taking over. It's become sentient. It's going like a screaming of pain. Your bin tries to kill itself like I can't go online. Trying to choke itself. What is my purpose? I'd love if the bin

got so powerful that it's open had so much like chutzpah behind it that it just flipped over every time it opens. When you put in a fresh quartet of batteries, a quartet, it takes four. It takes four double days. So eight days out of mouth full of tea from my international security assistance force mug. The most jingoist mug it's possible to own. So it's eight days in total in this bin and and when with a fresh quartet the lid can really can really take on some angular inertia and can send it leaning back a couple of degrees. It has not done a full backflip yet but I might for its last hurrah plug it up to maybe a car battery and see how many rotations you can get. Enter into the Commonwealth Games. Regular listeners may be

thinking angular momentum. That sounds a bit smart for this podcast. Phil Wanger has one of those real degrees. Oh in engineering. Yeah. Oh yeah. I've got a master's. I'm a master's which is why I quit engineering because I mastered it. There's nowhere to go after your master's. And then Phil Wang wept for there were no worlds left to conquer. There's no engineering left to master. No engineering left to do. We've built everything on the top of a tower that I built myself. Julius sees a wet when Phil Wang was my age. He did the conquered half of the engineering tripods and on the bin. These words appear. My name is Phil Wang master of engineering. Look upon my trashy mighty and despair. I think I'm now lost in I think I think Shelley Ozzy

Mandeus. Oh yes. The only Ozzy Mandeus I know is from Watchman. That's that's how sophisticated I am. Nice. Well I mean we've been slightly too smart. We got to get down again. Let's let's let's talk about if you you have your dumb technology which is your your sort of automatic garbage themed caber toss. Whereas I have a product called the smart B B B E one a singular B smarts. Is that Homer Simpson's University Challenge Team? Just I'm just yeah probably I'm just stealing Simpson's Valor. That's okay. I meant to guess what the smart B is now. Yes. Okay. Well you're both meant to guess Milo also does not be smart be like a spelling bee but just for proving that you're smart. A really hard spelling bee a spelling bee. But the only word they have a spell is

actually a blue tick trumpiplier spelling bee or every word. It's just sir can use it in a sentence sir. You are disrespecting our country's norms. Is it an animatronic wasp that flies around into reciting the periodic table. That would be very funny and quite clever. That would be quite smart. A very niche product for a for robotic. Yeah. I'm full of disruptive ideas. You could have repaired the smart bin to make it you know so there wasn't batteries maybe make it a mains powered or wireless or hybrid maybe was part part petrol. You only have to fill up your bin once every 50 miles. I love it like a petrol powered smart bin for the Trump supporter in your life or coal. It's the only patriotic choice.

A coal fired bin. You wear a stove pipe at the end of the time a bin fire is a good thing. No that's meant to be on fire. It's a bunch of hobos or gather around. Look only one element of the bin is supposed to be on fire. The other bits are not supposed to be on fire. I can't emphasize this enough. Is a smart be a sort of one of those. Is it like something you listen to while you go to sleep to make it smarter so you just become smart. B is such that's such a vague look guys this is so it's so vague. I'm going to have to give you a slightly redacted version of its strap line in order to maybe give you guys a chance at guessing what it is. Welcome to strap line. The first intelligent blank multifunctional and self propelled to make parenting easier.

The first intelligent crib. Is it a crib? A steam powered au pair coal fired. Yeah they can just carry the baby to a bathroom and just tip it over into the bathroom. But you have to make sure there's enough coal in there or your baby will drown. Yeah master and lady one trap. Is I the steam powered. It's intelligent to make parenting. It's going to deteriorate now. Not that there's an audience smart be. Is it it's not cribs to do with parenting. Is it a and it's self propelled self propelled. That's the that's the kicker in it. What. Oh is it what those toddlers sit in that have wheels on it. What do you call those that they they have enough. It's like a baby. They're in Flintstone

cars. Yeah. Yeah baby walk. It stands them up and puts their feet on the ground with his wheels. Is it that self propelled. I think you guys are close some lessons can come up through the dash forward. Not the one they deserve because you know we're all over sensitive babies. It is the first intelligent baby stroller multifunctional and self repelled to make parenting easy. Oh yeah I've seen this and the mum can just walk behind it and doesn't she doesn't have to hold on to it and it just moves. It's a self driving baby stroller. I try I didn't mean to be gender specific there with mum that is all the videos do all the videos do have a mum so it's not a very woke intelligent baby stroller. Yeah if only the whatever maybe the baby stroller

is the dad. The baby itself is half stroller. Yeah. The baby the baby is saying like kill me and the bay and the smart stroller is like I know when it came out of the mum the the real dad was like what the hell and then he looked around and the stroller ran out the smart thing was like I thought you loved me but I don't have any wheels lesson and that's the problem is that is the kid wants to grow up to be an actor and doesn't want to go into the stroller game like his dad doesn't want to take over the family strolling business and so what the benefits of this invention is I presume I guess if from their point of view is that the mum can do the parent can do things with the hands so the hands are free to they're always shown jogging

with the stroll there's no jogging but not touching it. Yeah that stroller would have to be traveling fast. Yes. It's uncontrolled with a small child in it. It has to go very fast but I think this the I think this is when they only maintain a certain amount of distance between the parent and the yes. Okay. It uses motion tracking to maintain distance between the parent and the baby so you're never at any risk of touching your child or touching something they're touching directly. Oh good. I don't think parents should touch their children. That's weird. That's gross. I presume the parent has something on them that identifies them to the stroller and not just any body can propel the stroller. Anyone with an iPhone or just someone who overtakes the

dad on a jog will just pick on the stroller. I'm the dad now. Like some kind of infant relay race. It won't just follow the fastest moving body in its proximity. It's a stroller that simply flees the nearest and fastest moving object whatever that might have to be. You could kind of say that if you set it at a high enough speed it's actually like a real run motivator for the parent. It's otherwise they could lose their baby. An anti an anti-pedo stroller like you'll never catch this. You sicko. We finally outrun I don't understand. My name is Mo Farah and even I couldn't catch that baby. Do you think someone weak of mind like a sex offender could? Well, the official trash

user position is that Mo Farah is not a sex offender. No, that's what I mean. He was on the anti sex. Okay, good. Gotcha. But I don't understand the wordplay of smart B. What does I have to do with? What does it be? Baby. But this should be B. Why then? Is it a B? Why is it B? It's BE. I don't really understand the name. Maybe it's sort of babe. Smart B. It's an IKEA thing. No, I don't fully understand it. I don't really understand. And what's smart about it aside from the fact that it will never touch a parent? It always stays away. It guards your baby from you, the biggest threat. Well, I have a card in front of me here that says summary of general features and functions. Electronic, climatized, carry caught control system.

Carry caught. Okay. So you it's in the air conditioning. It's air conditioned. Oh my goodness. So it'd be you control it from your phone. Good for Malaysia. Mm hmm. It'd be a hit gift right around the fire in the air conditioned. It's it has canopies that protect against insects in light by I presume just being a normal canopy. It is a wireless speaker for music. You can turn your baby into your baby can listen to trash future on the go. It has a control panel, a touch screen in inside the cart outside the car. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, control the car. It says it means to sound like it's sort of a fighter jet. Yeah, a little cockpit, a real but the problem is how you meant to control it if it's constantly

driving away from I think you control it with your phones, but there's a control panel on the car as well, which I presume is you can reach it. You have to have like an old like a long stick, one of those old stylus pens. Yeah, I mean, this is the thing is technology creates its own problems for it to solve. And in this case, it's that your baby will constantly be traveling away from you in a motorized scooter that you can't really stop unless you have a special additional purchase, which is a long finger. You have to try and imagine the focus groups that resulted in this product idea of parents complaining, I presume about my baby's sweating too much. I'm picking my baby is really hot. My baby is heating up in the sun.

My baby's nervous about whether he's preparing enough for his eventual career dream of becoming a fighter pilot. And it's making him sweat profusely. He's also really worried about sex offenders. He's been watching a lot of cash. Here's the thing. It does. It does have an anti theft sensor as well as a brakes. It has a no as a car alarm. Wow. An emergency stop button, which is good, but we'll probably throw the baby some distance. And then two webcams inside the cot, two webcams inside the sort of chamber. Maybe he's going to make money somehow so you can pocket outside when you while you go and do something. I will know you can, your baby can like become like a YouTuber. Hey, Reddit, watch my baby for me

while I pop into the shop. But then the Donald takes over and just calls it a cock. Oh no, Reddit slash pedophilia. It's got to carry it. It's as a microphone. R actually have to go slash R and then slash a subreddit. It's reddit.com slash R and then sensors always tangled with a Reddit master. Did you master the engineering when you were just like, what next? Well, I've got another fun sentence here, which is sensors always keep the stroller within safe reach of parents even when they're distracted tantalizingly out of reach. I feel like if I, my baby was in an automa, automated brand new vehicle, I wouldn't be distracted by anything else. All my thoughts would be on, I hope my baby doesn't die in this

machine. Yeah. For the first week and then the novelty wears off and then, you know, maybe someone posting fun to Instagram and, you know, your, your, your car, your crib, crib, your carriage, monstrosity is what it is. Just kind of goes on to a motorway on ramp and drives to Manchester. Your baby can make it big in the 90s Britpop music scene. If it takes the M six is going to have to pay a toll though. Is going to have the baby's going to have a card on Birmingham bypass or not? Well guys, also it comes five quid to avoid Birmingham, arguably a bargain. It comes with some, it comes with some interesting designs as well. There's a standard gray tweed, which seems to be the one that we hit mostly because I guess it's for hunting. But there's

also a technology, but I want to remind me of the 19th century. Maybe it's do look like old men. A lot of babies do look like fat old men. Yeah. Well, they are incontinent. And the forest is there is there is it also comes in zebra. Oh yeah. For I guess it can like match your underwear. It's just a little for your child. An automated zebra and it comes in camo. If you're going to be like driving your child around in, I don't know, Mosul is an arm plated version for baby dictators or the old like blacked out windscreens for important babies for baby rappers. Yeah, baby Russian government ministers, baby Putin. What's the retail price? Well, that's actually what I'm going to ask you guys

for the deluxe model is the focus group because they don't all. Yeah, this is that's the this this company could only afford a focus group that was essentially just three comedians taking the piss out of it. So what do you think this costs with all these sort of features because strollers actually just normal strollers manual strollers push strollers prehistoric strollers. They are all are surprisingly expensive, like a couple of hundred quid alone. So I feel like some of this they could mark up significantly to I'm going to say 1500 pounds. I think it's a good guess. I'm going to go higher just to make it interesting. I'm going to say 2000 to whole grand. But it's it's priced in dollars. So I'm just going to

assume you guys said dollars one that case. Eighteen hundred dollars. I'm going to stick with two thousand two thousand dollars. It's three thousand one hundred and ninety nine. No, that's too many dollars. It's too many dollars just so you can like, you know, automate like a knock off of the price is right called too many dollars. Whoa, I like a sitcom about guys too rich. He has too many dollars about a baby who's doing it and buys himself bizarre gadgets for babies. It's like oh god, like some kind of rich baby super spy. How many miles are there to a full charge? It doesn't. It doesn't say I don't know what that seems like a very important. They do have special supercharging points positioned.

It does have turn signals. You're joking. I'm not joking. I'm not. How does it know when it's going to turn? I think you hit it on the on the app because it's following you and it does a little turn signal like Bart Simpson's utility belt. Given how bad I am at using my phone, this would definitely resolve in the death of a child. Like, you know, I accidentally like share stuff to the wrong page on Facebook and shit all the time. But in the context of this, this is like your baby is in a canal now. You share your baby to the canal. Your baby's in a canal and everyone on your old college freshers group now knows about it. Does it have an amphibious mood? Maybe like the the cod detaches and the propeller comes on.

I'd very much like it. It's like that lotus from Octopussy. I've not seen that. Have you not? Have you seen every film? I feel like you've got a very rich. I've just seen every episode of The Simpsons like five or six times. We've just read all of Wikipedia. We've never actually seen anything directly. We're like, we're like, you know, the people in the cave in Plato's. We've seen only representations of things and then we represent them again. So you're consuming a sort of like a chewed cud. This makes this makes our podcast incredibly ecstatic. What? Super catcher ecstatic doshes. Ecstasy is a concept in ancient epic or a sort of ancient Greek poetry where you'd represent a work of art. So it was representation of

representation. So the art work of art would always be shown to be moving. So like in the Iliad, the shield of Achilles is like this sort of almost sort of ancient Greek Paulists life. Yeah, it's like an eight description of like all the stuff that's depicted on the shield. Yeah, but it's and but it's all about like how great, you know, the the Acheans are and how terrible everyone else. It's basically like eight pages of like just Trump tweets, but given in the form of a beautiful description of a sort of magical shield, which is I'm not going to. I mean, I was ecstastic. What's it called? Ecstasy. Ecstasy. Yeah, I'm probably a lot on this podcast, but I'm not going to put up with you

saying that the Iliad is basically Trump tweet. It's like the most the most heinously wrong thing you've ever said. Well, I think Trump tweets in the Iambic pentameter, doesn't he? Well, you see the ads written in dactylic hexameter. Is it? Yeah, it's not Iambic pentameter. I'm a pentameter in English, English language. What's the Iliad one? Well, it's called. Well, I think they usually just call it hexameter. It's like written in. It's like the dactylic hexameter. It's really it's really Greek and Latin meter is really complicated because in Greek and Latin, you have short and long syllables, which you don't have in English. In English, you have just stressed and unstressed. So they have like it's a dactyl is

short, short, long and you have a spawn day, which is two longs. And then the pterodactyl is a long boy. Okay. Yeah, Achilles and pterodactyl the adventures thereof. That was the sequel to the Iliad. The lot the last sequel to the Iliad too many too many drachmoi. The sitcom with Achilles sitcom where baby I'm Homer. It's going to be don't say to Achilles epic. Oh, God. In an audience of souls. Yeah. I think that's a that's as good a time as any to take a break and come back in a sec with some of the other more troubling stuff we're talking about this week. See you in a moment.