TRASHFUTURE - Ender's Game: Racist Edition

Episode Date: June 25, 2018

This week, Trashfuture discusses some of our favourite topics: Elon Musk’s non-working cars, by-elections in Lewisham, and MAGA-supporting tech villains trying to augment Trump’s ICE atrocities with new gadgets -- because what is more American than victimising immigrants whilst never leaving your gaming chair? This was recorded about ten days ago, which you can mark by all of our completely inaccurate football predictions. Riley (@raaleh), Hussein (@HKesvani) and Milo (@Milo_Edwards) kept it extremely normal and original, by which we mean we ran out of guests who were willing to be in the same room as us. You can commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from http://www.lilcomrade.com/, and the shirts are extremely soft and comforting for studying to lo-fi/hip-hop beats. Nate (@inthesedeserts) produced this from Brooklyn, New York with Adobe Audition, iZotope RX Elements, and a tall cup of coffee (soup).

We obtained a recording of the Tesla earnings call where a certain Mr. Elon Musk was responding to some very interesting questions from potential investors. Yes. Hello. It's great to have you all here today on the earnings call. I must warn you, I'm not going to answer any boring questions, but if you do have any productive questions about what we're doing here at Tesla, I'd be very pleased to answer those.

Yes. Mr. Musk. How do you actually... It seems like you've only produced, I don't know, about a hundred cars. How are you actually proposing to make this company profitable? No, actually, that's a very boring, bone-headed question. I'm not going to answer sort of counterproductive questions like that, because that's just a... That's not in the spirit of what we do here.

Did anyone else have any questions that aren't boring or nerdy? Mr. Musk. Mr. Musk, what do you feel about hot beverages? I guess, please go on. It's generally, I'm interested in your thoughts, Mr. Musk, because you clearly operate on a level that's seven planes above us. Yes, that is actually, I actually live on seven planes, I rotate them in and out. Sorry, what was your question about the hot beverages?

Elon Musk, I heard that you had found a new website that you were thinking about buying. I can't remember what it's called. Oh, of course, you're referring to my new company, coffeeisasoup.com. There have been a lot of people in the media, and they say that coffee is not a soup, that it's some kind of a broth, perhaps, or a hot beverage, and I just think that's not true. Those people, they don't know about physics, I have actually a degree in physics, and I can tell you that... You're a genius, Mr. Musk.

...just by a man who is the owner of an accent, which is not really from anywhere in particular. It sort of veers wildly between California, British, and South African, but what I have always been passionate about in my life is the fact that coffee is, in fact, a soup. It should be consumed with a spoon from a bowl and in front of a mother who loves you. Mr. Musk, I'm from the Washington Post. I wanted to know, how come your factories have so much worse safety records than Jeff Bezos' factories? All your workers are getting crushed.

His are only shitting themselves. How do you respond? I think that's just an incredibly sort of dorky, try-hard question that you ask there. I don't really understand why... Can't we talk about my flamethrowers, perhaps, which I think are incredibly raw XD over 9,000. Mr. Musk, how do you respond to criticism that you laid off at least 10% of your workforce while you also launched a company producing flamethrowers just because you thought it would be funny?

What I say to that is, you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet, or in this case, in fact, you've got to fire a few low-income workers in order to arm Mike Sinovich with a flamethrower. But that's by the by, really. The main thing is that I'm doing really, really cool shit, and that's something you've got to remember. A lot of people who buy tests, they watch very intelligent television programs like Rick and Morty, and therefore, they understand that these things are just more important.

Final question, Mr. Musk, what do you plan to do now that this earnings call is coming to a close? I'm just going to close down the call. I'm going to crank it really hard, and then, as I come, I'm going to say, wubba-lubba-dub-dub. My workers are oppressed and my cars don't work. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Hello, and welcome again, following our very interesting business recording of business

tycoon and hypergenius Elon Musk. Business recording is what I call my sex stage, whose thoughts are just are uninterpretable to us. He's like a French president in that way, in fact, thoughts. Yeah. I mean, Elon Musk and Emmanuel Macron are basically the same person at this point. You know when the letter leaked regarding the layoffs? He laid off a bunch of people from his companies earlier this week, and he didn't want it coming

out, but somehow it did. I went on the tweet because he still got this ongoing war with journalists who say that maybe Tesla isn't treating their workers as well as they could be. Maybe like toilet breaks would be nice, you know, unionization options, things like that. So I went on the comment, look, if you're, if you're, if your workers can't, you know, shit themselves at work, that's really going to cut down on efficiency. It's a big problem. Well, it's, it's freedom, you know, they're not forced to go use the bathroom.

They're allowed to shit themselves wherever they want. In my opinion, that's real freedom line is like diapers for all of the stuff. The left wants to, wants to, wants to restrict all shitting to the designated bathrooms. That's the thing, right? Public toilets are big government. And if you're a true libertarian, then you would really advocate being allowed to shit anywhere you want, whether that's in your pants or whether that's outside of the basilica, you know, just generally.

But I was looking into, I was looking at the comments of Elon's tweet and it was really amazing. Like there were, there were a bunch of comments, which were basically just like, you know, I know that letting go, letting go of people must have been hard, must have been hard for you, Mr. Musk, but keep on with your vision. We're all really inspired by you. Or there was another one, which was just like, you know, you'll get, you'll get criticized by the left and the SJWs for firing people and they'll say that you've hurt their families.

But keep on, keep on going, Mr. Musk, you're an inspiration to us. All these really weird, all these really weird comments that like you wouldn't, you wouldn't really read if like Mark Zuckerberg like announced the same thing online or any other of these like tech douchebags. Well, it's cause he's the epic bacon guy. These are all Reddit people. Yeah. Yeah.

Now everyone knows that Mike's Mark Zuckerberg doesn't have emotions. Therefore they don't tweet at him in that way. Whereas for Elon Musk, they're all like wild subs. Like the equivalent reading a tweet that's like, uh, from at Jack at Rose, I know it must have been really hard letting go of me and letting me drown in the North Atlantic, but I really want you to keep going with your vision. It's very important. If, if Twitter was made, if, if, if the Titanic was made in the twister age at Jack would

actually be Jack Dorsey and he would let his girlfriend drown because that would be the most rational thing to do after he spent the whole film reading Ayn Rand. Look, there's no, you can't, you can't come on this floating piece of door Jetson with me because there's too many Nazis on it and I can't get rid of them. Oh my God. Objectivist Titanic. Are you joking? Like where an objective is Titanic, the lifeboat, like there's a complicated means testing

system for all of the lifeboats and, and, and Jack doesn't let Rose in the door because it doesn't satisfy his self interest. Caramel on the due lux color chart has to show a British passport to get in the lifeboat. Rose would be, Rose would be drowning and she'd be like, Jack, there's space on the blood, there's space on the door. Let me on. And Jack would say, for my best type of thinking, for my best type of chakra as I need stretching space, Rose,

Rose, don't, don't you understand that it's more beautiful that I am allowed to meditate on how I'm actually going to sell a genetic prototyping software to the U.S. government that will allow them to create a new race of super soldiers. I need to meditate. Take would be there isn't even a door because Elon Musk has fired into space for some kind of reason. Just, just for reasons, no need, no need to question what those reasons are. So yeah, Elon, do you think that was on the usual?

Oh yeah, a normal call where he's had, I mean, he must hate having to answer boring asked questions like is your company making money and how come you're profitable even though you've made like 20 cars and isn't it just that you're padding your overall profits, profit, you're padding your overall profit margin by just letting employee after employee go like it's when it comes down to it, it's going to show that this whole grift is basically just him and a bunch of internet fans and like the most they've ever been able to do is like assemble a kit car poorly. It's like a power wheels.

That's his electric car. It's a power wheels to be fair to Elon Musk. So he has sold a lot of flamethrowers. It's like these companies like these products that PR companies send out and they send it out to influences. And when you ask them like because I get these PRs all the time and they usually they usually go along the lines of like we've launched this new like set of headphones or we've launched this new like wearable product and it's not really that revolutionary.

But what they'll say is that it's being used by influences like Jake Paul and Jake Paul's girlfriend and can dance Owens or something like that. So you think you can dance Owens? That's an amazing reality show. Jake Paul pulling pranks where he just flamethrowers people in the team 10 house. Yeah, this five year old kid is on fire. Pranked I mean, I mean, that's what I mean, that's what that's what that's what team 10 is basically come down to now.

We'll do it like a Jake Paul episode at some point in the future. I really want to do we are deaf. We definitely owe the public another Jake Paul team 10 special when I sent you guys a video which is like so now Jake Paul and team 10 and all these influences. They're doing like a summer tour where they're basically like holding a team 10. It's kind of like this weird sort of like team 10 pantomime that they're doing around the U.S. and like some guy he brought a camera in to film it and it genuinely is like one of the worst shows even by team 10 standards.

And you've got parents who are paying like five grand to get their kids to like spend five minutes with like a drunken angry Jake Paul as it has like he continues to lose members as he continues to lose members. So yeah, everything is also very normal in the team 10 house. Well, you know where else everything is very normal today and think by the time this episode comes out like things will definitely have been decided. But did you know that like that there is a by election going on today in Lewisham East? I only actually follow Lewisham West News.

So no, I didn't really see this until recently. But in Lewisham East is now like the the big push for a new fascist party in Britain, which we haven't had for a while. I mean, it sort of feels like we have, but everyone's just too tired to really care. But we haven't had like one that's actually going for elections, right? Like we had the BNP that was going for local council elections, but I think they just lost the last of their seats in barking. So I think they're they don't how fitting that the BNP's only seat was in a

place called barking. You have independent people or like people who set up parties and like they may be field one or two candidates and those like tend to be like very minor parties that no one really pays attention to. So in like previous years, when like we had a centrist labour government, those types of people would actually be like from left wing groups, right? They'd be like, you know, they'd be like new like socialist parties and stuff like that. So Anne-Marie Waters, she's a former UKIP person.

She's kind of had this history of being part of like every right wing group imaginable. And when Paul Nussle was leading UKIP and no one had faith in him and he was just like ridiculous. Paul Nussle, the most heavily busting member of UKIP. That was when the split happened and Anne-Marie like set up her own, like what's that? Actually, no, she was running for UKIP leader and I think Paul Nussle, who had stepped down, basically said, we don't want her to come on because she's too extreme for us, right?

Which, you know, during our times is like, you know, that's really that, you know, that's a real indictment. Yeah, she got the support of Morrissey. So it's way too extreme. So she set up her own party, which I think is called like for Britain. And it's basically just like an offshoot UKIP party. The thing with Anne-Marie is that like I don't necessarily rate her chances and at an electoral level, in the sense of like things that have been written

about, there's this really good section written about her in Jamie Bartlett's book called Radicals, where she was trying to set up her own right wing party and there's loads of anecdotes where basically she just gets pissed out of her head all the time. So like she has this real problem like controlling herself in public settings. When you say pissed out of her head, do you mean she just like constantly walks around drunk because that would be amazing? You know, so she like showed up at like a speech, like absolutely off her

face and like Tommy Robinson had to like save her. It's like this really remarkable story of like right winging. Tommy Robinson just coming out as a true hero once again. So like there's a lot of stuff in the background. And this is why I don't necessarily rate her electoral chances. She's not like a good parliamentary candidate. But the point is, is that they know that like going to someone like Lewisham, they don't really stand a chance winning, right?

But they stand a chance to kick up an enormous amount of press kerfuffle. Yeah. And, you know, so they kind of, they look for these opportunities where like they can say, oh, left wing groups shut us down. They're shutting down our free speech. They've they've kind of cottoned on to this whole like Tommy Robinson being kidnapped by the League of Shadows and being sent to like, you know, it's like, oh, he's definitely going to get murdered in jail. And this is actually the deep state's way of executing Tommy Robinson

for boldly telling the truth about, you know, about about George Soros's plot to, you know, turn Britain into a parking lot or whatever. So yeah, it's kind of like part of this bigger gambit. I don't know how far it goes, but like it does kind of tell it's this ongoing kind of proliferation of right wing groups. Well, it's like it's like it's like that's one thing the UK is incredible at generating is new fringe right wing parties and new fringe centrist parties.

I mean, like Chakramana is like floating, starting a new centrist party called Together Again. It sounds like a Taylor Swift album. Oh, fuck. It's like it's like a take that to except take that at all. You know what it is? It's like, it's like, you know, it's like when you have like one of those really big bands in like the 90s, early 2000s, and they go

for a reunion tour because they're all broke, only like half of them show up. So like when they go on stage, it looks ridiculous. It's like it's like if the blazing squad like returned, only four of them were there. And you and the one that like everyone like just like is an accountant who lives in Surrey. Are you ready for the stars of bipartisanship? We have Chris. Chakramana touring the country in a massive bus with Robbie Williams,

except Robbie Williams is now like I had so much cocaine and heroin withdrawal that all he can do is sort of lightly dribble in agreement. Every time Chakramana says something and he's like together again to a crowd of like three people and a dog. Like front front man Vince Cable just comes out on his knees, squealing on a guitar, being like compromised with the fascist. Now there's that whole thing about. So there was this really, that really funny thing in the Chaka Muna story

where Anna Subri, our friend Anna Subri was like, we're like basically implied that she was talking to Chaka regularly. Right. So they were DMing. Yo, Chaka, those these these these these amendments to the withdrawal got me feeling some kind of way and Chaka just responds with the with the eyes and more private like the Matt Hancock MP app and then they're going to they're and they're going to give birth to the baby of Remain. We're just going to fight Andrew Adonis's baby of Brexit, which is the thing

that he said and he's like my my children are my child is HS2, but I have to stop the other child Brexit from being born because Andrew Adonis is wild. He's like he's like fucking remember that MSN Messenger bot? What was it called? Smarter child where it would just like respond to you, but it would usually say weird shit because they were like computer generated replies. That's what it's like reading Andrew Adonis's tweets.

It's like it's a sort of they're like words which are vaguely grammatically hanging together. But what they're actually saying is completely insane. So logically, like they'll come a point where Andrew Adonis has to become a Nazi. I mean, I don't know if it if he necessarily has to there. He will capitulate to them gladly, but that's the that's the thing is that these these are the people who are saying that they're against extreme in extremism in Britain, but they're more willing to tolerate sort of Anne Marie

Waters license to run a hateful and Islamophobic campaign in Lewish in East and they're more willing to talk there. They're more willing to condemn the like like the basically the left that has come out to actually shut down the hostings or she was just going to whip the crowd into a sort of angry frenzy like the left is shutting down free speech because we need to. I think this was this was Jonathan, which what Shannon said on the episode he was on, right?

Like ideas are ideas that are spoken in public aren't just pamphlets. They're not just going to then duke it out in some imaginary battle. The art of ideas like a Yu-Gi-Oh deck. It has genuine consequences for people and and and the and and the the the basically liberal conception of sort of the ideas in that way is like, no, it's more important that Anne Marie Waters is allowed to speak in Lewish in because then all of her like, you know, chode like supporters are going to see how ridiculous their ideas really are and say, ah, of course, ah, why didn't

someone tell us the facts? We wouldn't we're now going to have a principled opposition to Brexit. It's very it's very old like centrist politics, right? Where do you remember like back in back in the day and I say back in the day I'm just tired and I can't I can't remember what that even means. But they kind of talk about like, you know, labor has to win elections. That's the whole point. But like they have to win election.

They think about it in very like numerical systematic terms. So for them, like they don't see like the the kind of cultural battles that like, you know, Anne Marie Waters and her party are throwing, right? To them, it's like, well, it's not tangible. There's no like numerical outcome. So when their objective is literally just to overturn Brexit and that's what their objective is, right? They want to overturn Brexit, whether that's through like a second referendum

or whether that's just by cancelling the whole thing or remaining through the EA. Yeah, right. So that's their objective and they don't really see anything beyond that. And this is actually where like right wing groups, you know, flare really well, which is that like, there's not really a lot of people like fighting. You know, there's not really a lot of like people who have positions and platforms of power who are paying attention to the cultural wars, right? So you've basically got like right wing groups who have a lot of money

behind them now, who have these platforms, who are able to kind of control that conversation to the point where like you now have mainstream magazine writers and newspapers basically parroting the same lines. And there's not those checks and balances that come with tangible political power because they're too busy living in like some fucking pipe dream where they can, you know, overturn a referendum. The problem with also like the the focus, the focus purely on the referendum as a political token and also the obsession with the obsession with

sort of comedy and tone means that for especially for like even like ostensibly left publications like The Guardian, ostensibly doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, they tend to report on on what people like Anne Marie Waters say because the sort of anyone just saying something outrageous is therefore outrageous and newsworthy. And so in and then they never see this as they never see this as as something that has a real chance of winning because like, well, it's so unreasonable, despite the fact they don't realize that she's her point.

I wonder even like her point here isn't to take a seat in UK Parliament, although I'm sure she'd love to think her point here is that this has given her and her toxic message, an enormous amount of news coverage. And once again, let's her be painted as the victim. And this is and this has always been the right wing stick anyway. Like six emperor douchebag, you know, whenever like, you know, all those times and like Tommy Robinson said that he was going to run for Parliament. All these like all the right wing people who have actually tried to do it

have failed miserably. They've always failed miserably. And even when they kind of achieve some moderate success in like European Parliaments and stuff, like they just bored by it. They get there and they find that it's really fucking boring and tedious because politics is really fucking boring and tedious. And the way that like right wing, you know, and this is why they're much more comfortable in the culture of it, much more comfortable whipping up,

you know, whipping up controversy. They like seeing protests happen where they can then claim themselves to be victims. They like going on big marches to like free Tommy Robinson, even though they know that he broke the law. And this is how the law works, right? You know, this is how they operate. And the problem with like these fucking centrists is that like they seem to,

yeah, it goes back to what Chainin said, which is like they live in this imaginary world where like you can basically like where the best ideas win in this kind of marketplace of ideas because everything has the same kind of value and there's no cultural context behind it. Exactly. Well, we know that the best ideas don't win because the best ideas are being suppressed by the Muslim. I think I can speak for all of us when I say,

I'm so glad to be here working for the Electoral Commission, directing people to polling places in Lewisham East and giving them directions that result in them being at the bottom of the Thames. I mean, I have a slight attachment to Lewisham in the sense that I spent much of my teenage years there trying to buy weed. And I say try because like imagine when you're like some like even dorkier, like chump brown kids who like wears oversized corn, oversized corn hoodies. Actually wear an oversized corn hoodie.

I did. I did. I said so rational to show that drug dealer that he's not to be fucked with. And I had like baggy jeans and I had like old beat up like converses. And I thought that I was really cool. It's a miracle that we all didn't go alt-right. You know what, I think I've said this on the show before, right? Which was that like if I had been that kid, but in the time of Twitter,

Facebook, Snapchat and stuff, I would totally be like, you know, swallowing up all the kind of jizz that Sargon of Akkad is like, you know, churning out. I would totally do that. I would, I would totally like be the type of like anti-feminist, rational skeptic. That's the thing, in you go, there is no centrism. You either go hard left or hard right. But yeah, no, I try like, I went to Lewisham market three times to try buy weed.

Every single time it was like the same raster man who would just basically sell us tea. Like tea leaves. So we spent like 30 pounds on like a small bag of tea leaves and had to convince ourselves that it was working. Getting caffeinated. And this is why I'm voting for Annemarie Warses. Yeah, finally, she's going to get good drugs on the streets. She's going to get the bad drugs off the streets.

I would vote for that. That's a very big dick policy. Right. So that's an act to law where we make drugs legal. But all of the people who sell the drugs have to be like former members of UKIP. Paul Nuttall in his like fucking Wind in the Willows slash Guy Ritchie outfit, like standing on a street corner going like, well, yeah, no, I actually live in the local area and I sell the drugs. I said, where do you live?

And he's like, well, I'm not a liberty to say where I live, but it is in the local area. How long have you lived there? I'm not sure. Are you? We are as British. We're tired of Romanian weed dealers coming in and selling their fake weed. We want the best of British marijuana anyway. So that's that's the that's the election.

That's the goings on in in Lewisham. And you know, you know, we've not done right. We've not introduced the show. What? We didn't we've not we didn't formally start the show at any point. Wow. What a what a cold open guy introduced ourselves. No, we're going so arrogant now. We just assume all the listeners know who we are.

Maybe they're a new list. Exactly. Hello, new listeners freeing it. No, I'm freeing us from the tyranny of having to start the show normally because I can't do it basically. I can't say the tongue twister that I've set for myself. Do you want me to do it? No, I mean, give it a go.

Okay. All right. So it's it's high time. In fact, it's quite late. 26 minutes in to say hello and welcome to trash future. The podcast about how if we do not implement fully automated luxury gay space communism, the future is and will be trash. I am Milo Edwards.

Definitely the main host of this show. You can find me on Twitter at Milo underscore Edwards still in Russia, but I'm moving home soon because fuck that shit. Who is joining me not in this room, but somewhere else? From Greater Serbia. It's saying Kizvani. That's just anywhere in the world. From the caliphate of London, not even East London.

There's London general. Oh yeah, we've gotten bigger. Tower Hamlets is both the caliphate and the very heart of Serbia. While you were sleeping, we took over London. We we we've paved everything in breeze block concrete and it's now a caliphate. And I'm Riley also coming at you from Greatest Serbia. Uh, you can find me on Twitter at Rala R-A-L-E-H

still a bad Twitter handle, but I'm kind of stuck with it at this point. Yeah. And okay. Yeah, I guess we can start the show now halfway through it. God, that was the biggest cold open we've ever done. It even included the theme song genius. We're good at this. We're so good at this and extremely cold.

All right. Well, now that we've done the cold open, we have about a half hour left to run through a couple of hot hot topics of and I'm which would be I really lost that sentence, huh? Hot, hot, juicy, hot, juicy, Tom. Some of the sexiest goss welcome to the Love Island recap show where we're going to talk about why a all is not legally alive. I genuinely do think that he has has has some kind.

Maybe he has an aphasia. I saw like the best clip from Love Island yesterday and I think it was A-L, right? Because I only, I kind of, I don't watch it, but I follow it on Twitter. Fucking virtue signaling cuck. Because I only watch documentaries. I only watch documentaries of white novelists because I'm white. Yeah, right. Watching sex is haram.

You know this. So no, I think A-L was like, he kissed some girl in front of Adam and like the image of like Adam as he just looks while this man with this foreign name steals his, steals the, steals the woman that belongs to him. It's like the purest form of cock holding, right? I wonder, did, did Adam do anything though? Was he a legend or was he pissed? I think he was pissed.

He was pissed. I think he was pissed, but he didn't do anything. And but if he did, you know, this guy never does anything. If he did, if he did do something, he would be a legend. Who has to think now he's fucked it. Now everyone will know him is just like the cock. Yeah. He's, he's just, he's the, oh man, what the things I would have done had the cameras not been on.

Like, oh man, I totally, I totally would have drop kicked him. I would have done some crab. My God that I totally figured out from watching like three YouTube movies in the matrix. Yo, I can totally do Neo stuff. I've been to crab Magaluf. I know all that shit. Yo, so we got two, we got two, two stories that are much more in our podcast on the subject of being on the subject of being cucked.

This is a potential great segue being cucked by foreigners to what's going on in Russia. Rn. Okay. WTF. As a, as a resident of the world's greatest federation run by shirtless man on a horse. I have, I have come into possession of a bit of hot news about the FIFA World Cup that is currently getting started here. As one of the, one of the members of the Russian state parliament, Tamada Pletneva,

has released a statement warning Russian women against having sex with visiting foreigners during the summer's FIFA World Cup, because they will abandon you and leave you to raise your children alone. And then she said, well, I guess, I guess it's okay. As long as it's not interracial. But boy, Russia is not a nationalist. So they're really worried about Russian guys getting cucked by some foreign guys, some, some cool African dudes coming over here.

Why, why, why have you ran the show them? The Iranian football team is, of course, the only proper football team to support. So I guess I'll say this, but let's go out codes. The internet, the, the, the, the, the, the, the revolutionary guard defenders, the revolutionary goalkeepers on the revolutionary guard to get to the semifinals. I mean, I can't wait for like Iran's like win one game and everyone's like, actually what I'm very excited about is for when, when the Yemen team goes up and you realize that it's all just the Iranian team again.

And then the, but then the Saudi team just like tries to beat them from the air. I mean, Saudi and Russia are playing the first game. Oh, that's going to be some electric football and I'm pretty conflicted over who to support because I'll tell you who wasn't conflicted over who to support. The previous US administration. I mean, they kind of were, I mean, they were much more in line with Saudi Arabia. If we support Russia, then we're going to have Eric Garland having a normal one. Like it's only a matter of time before while like he's going to, he's going to like live

tweet through the whole match, talk about how like the Russian team are actually some sort of like Psyops operation. Yeah. The, the, how the, the Russian national anthem is actually going to play the brown note to make everyone shit themselves in the audience to distract from all the democracy they're undermining. Yes. I think that very much is something Eric Garland prepared. But the Saudis, they have, you know, the new, the new boy, Mohammed bin Salman. That's true. He, and he, he is like the white coke of Saudi Arabia.

They are of a comparable size in a lot of ways. The MBS actually stands for Mohammed B shopping. He fits within our like our extended cannon. So I'm sort of conflicted. A big fancy prince. I'm sort of conflicted, but I think I might throw my money behind our big, the big fancy prince. Okay. All right. Well, look, I'm, I'm saving all of my cheering energy.

We all know what that means for when Iran comes on so that finally the 1979 revolution can be triumphant over the entire world in the field of glory football. So yeah, I got two more, two more things I want to, I want to run through. Shall we do those two things? I mean, yes, you don't really have much of a choice. The old, the old woman's curse still lingers on you. Yeah. Yeah. Shit. So two, two things happened in Seattle today, which is that another noise band was formed.

More post rock out of Seattle, more song structure. The protesters cry have verses and choruses. Stop just do it. Stop doing math with your guitar. Basically, there was going to be a rose by the Seattle city council, a tax levied on sort of very large, especially technology employers, but not all. So that includes Starbucks as well, Amazon and so forth. A tax of $500 per employee, I believe per year to help fund homeless services in the city. And Jeff Bezos, Jeff Bezos and his company, of course,

have absolutely destroyed that particular tax. The company, in fact, halted construction on a new tower and suggested that it might simply leave Seattle should they pass that ordinance. So the reason that's hilarious, the reason that's hilarious is that the same day, the very same day, Jeff Bezos is also going to be getting into the philanthropy space by launching two new projects that have been suggested to him on Twitter. He hasn't said what they are. So this is hell. Yeah, they're totally going to be like charities to buy ponies for

underprivileged white girls who only have one Mercedes or some shit. Well, I mean, you're not really far off based on on sort of Bezos's philanthropic history and what sort of philanthropy represents in general. But what's Jeffrey has been up to with his philanthropy? Well, he's this is where the irony comes in, actually. Some of his sort of much heralded philanthropic activities have included a million dollars, which you have very little to him, to a Seattle homeless shelter. Jeffrey kisses is playing like eight dimensional chess here.

Because on the one hand, he's like, no, we're not going to fund the homeless. And if you make us fund the homeless, we'll stop building this very nice tower over here. And what do towers mean? Homes. And what's that good for? The homeless. And then on another level, like Jeffrey kisses is actually already paying the homeless, because as we know, many of the people who work for Amazon are actually homeless. So who is this guy? He's like the fucking Ra's Al Ghul of like corporate America. Everything is a league of shadows.

Well, it's that like it's it's it's all false flag. He's Liam Neeson. He's the Czech who's with Bane. This should just like genuinely, genuinely just absolutely tear any mask off of sort of wealth, wealthy, well that philanthropy is anything other than at best a smoke screen and at worst a cynical because if Jeff Bezos genuinely wanted to help the homeless, he would not just, you know, give some pittance comparatively to one local shelter because that really is just not structural change.

It's this is someone who makes more in a minute than most people will see in their lifetimes. And he does that particularly by making it so that the median salary for Amazon employees is twenty eight thousand dollars. You know, he's making it so that it's actually it's and that's the media that includes like a lot of sort of upper tier professionals. Most of the people working for him, as Miles said, many of them are homeless. A lot of them shit in diapers. Many of them are also being subsidized by food.

That's people who work for Elon Musk. Come on, let's let's be fair. Amazon's not about efficiency. It's about poverty. Elon Musk is about efficiency. The whole Amazon business model relies on people working in warehouses for like longer periods of time, faster, you know, they, you know, Amazon is famously like, you know, anti unionization, like anti unionization, shocking, you know, and this is kind of what

and then when we talk about philanthropy law, this kind of goes back to like this kind of weirdly, you know, I guess we sort of expect to, you know, this kind of antipathy towards the state, right? Where, you know, you have this argument of, well, you could do a lot of good just by paying the correct amount of tax, right? You know, so that you can help build better cities. That's boring. The key is, when wealth redistribution happens through tax rather than philanthropy,

it happens in a way that, you know, at least nominally, the people who are supposed to be the beneficiaries of it might have some chance of controlling. Yeah. You know, in fact, we need to give Jeff a positive suggestion for going forward. What I suggest is, you know, instead of giving a pitiful amount to a homeless shelter, it's not going to do any good. What Jeff Bezos should be doing, you should be embracing wild sponsored stunts to raise awareness of homeless.

What I'm saying is, no philanthropy, fuck philanthropy, but say yes to philanthropy January. But this is also Jeff Bezos busting for a piss, but knowing that every minute he doesn't piss raises like $40,000 for the homeless. Well, it's the, what really kills me about this is that Amazon joined Starbucks and other local employers to fund a group called no tax on jobs that raised over 300,000 to pay for signature gatherers for a referendum to repeal this head tax, right? And then the no tax January, their statement was today's vote by the Seattle City Council to repeal the tax on job creation is the right decision for the region's economic prosperity,

but which is ironic because they're campaign campaigning for no tax on jobs when in fact much of their wealth is actually gathered by charging workers a massive tax on most of what they produce and giving them back a pittance in the form of wages. And so what they're really saying is no, let us keep our tax on jobs that we levy and we don't want you to control any of it. Go off King and and then I mean one. Fortunately, like at least anytime Jeff Bezos tweets out that he wants to do philanthropy, at least at least the one, the one small thing is that at least he gets ratioed into the dark ages,

like at least there's that my God, Jeff. What's going on in there philanthropy philanthropy at this time of day at this time of year localized entirely within your 19th century style workhouse. Yes. May I see it? No. Right. And then there is what you have to remember also is like is a lot of the donations they do make are incredibly cynical. So like one one in last June Bezos made a donation that garnered some headlines giving thirty three million for college scholarship to the so-called dreamers, the undocumented or illegalized immigrants who came to the U.S. is children, right?

Like oh, and he's ah, yes, I'm being I'm being very woke. I'm helping people succeed. But again, when you fund college scholarships, when you fund education, when you're basically teaching kids to code, all you're really doing is subsidizing the creation of your own labor force. Look, guys, I funded education for a lot of people. Okay, were some of those people dwarves who I trained to do the Alexa voice so they could climb inside a giant Alexa that I have in my house and satisfy my every demand? Yes. But why is that important?

They're getting jobs. Why don't you want these people to get jobs as my personal Alexa voice? This is like this is the argument that people who defend these guys say, right? They're kind of saying that, you know, you shouldn't criticize, you know, you shouldn't criticize guys like these are musk and stuff because at least they're creating jobs, especially in like this kind of weird Trump economy where like one of the very few defenses that pro-Trump people have is that, oh, well, you know, the employment rate has kind of gone up. And we don't really interrogate that by saying, well, who are like the biggest drivers of employment?

How much of that employment is long term? How much of that employment is like fucking stable? And the answer is like none of it because it's all like within this kind of weird Amazon like system. In fact, that's one of the reasons that recently that a chart was released. And, you know, I invite any any wonks who listen to this show to correct me. But where we saw that sort of the unemployment rate in the UK is sort of trending downward, but wages have stayed exactly the same.

Yeah. So all that means is that more people are now paying a tax on their jobs to a smaller and smaller number of, you know, oligarchs who more or less control everything and then sort of make very big sort of public displays of giving some of it back. So and they don't they're not really even giving it back sympathize with living in country where all jobs are controlled by oligarchs who give none of this money back to the people. I cannot imagine what this would be like. And it's not.

And that's the issue with philanthropy is that when they give it back to the people, they're not giving it back, they're buying something just so just like and they get to and they get to take their sort of bizarre, twisted, hyper alienated and individualized worldview, and then they get to say, well, now because I'm Bill Gates, I'm funding your entire school system. Everybody gets to learn my kind of math, you know, when we're all of a sudden it becomes caping for billionaires. And finally, if if and coming almost coming background to it, this idea that we need these

people to fund things, we need these people to create jobs, do you really if you're a city and your decision to sort of create a create a tax that would make your incredibly unequal city slightly more fair gets basically destroyed by Amazon. Why do you want them in your town? Why are you willing to basically pay them to come to your town? Why are you willing to embarrass yourself just so basically you can come in? Oh, please, Mr. Musk, take Mr. Musk, Mr. Bezos. I fucking keep confusing these guys.

Please take control of my city from me. You know where the bane voice comes in. Give me a give me a zero percent unemployment rate, but also a zero wage rate. Let's go back to something fucking phoronic. I'd like to really like because this is a polite podcast really when Riley mixes up their names. He still refers to them respectfully. I'd like to go back to the Middle Kingdom, please. And the and the woke liberals are just going to point out and be like, no,

but you have had set shit. That was a female Pharaoh. I think Elon Musk is better than Jeff Bezos, isn't he? Like Jeff Bezos is like evil, whereas Elon Musk is more like fucking dumb and annoying and like is bad, but like Amazon is like full like wage slavery shit, whereas Tesla is more like the absurd, like Laurel and Hardy accidents that happen in their factories and like bizarre, like hatred of unionization because then their workers won't be able to shit themselves.

I'm willing to guarantee that Elon Musk has said like, oh, spaghettio. Just like unironically. No, what it is is Elon, I think we're talking about Elon Musk is Willy Wonka, whereas Jeff Bezos is a Disney villain like Elon Musk is like is like a rolled doll hero, where he does still kill a bunch of people, but he is kind of whimsical whereas Jeff Bezos Elon Musk is the candlestick from Beauty and the Beast Jeff Jeff Bezos is just basically like trying to get enough workers together that he can sort of sacrifice them all at once and drink in their soul energy.

I'm pretty sure that was an anime. I'm just trying to figure out what it is. He's the Jeff Bezos is the Warhammer 40,000 Emperor and Elon Musk is just Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka, but a chocolate factory where they were just constant accidents. Well, that is Willy Wonka. There are constant accidents in the Willy Wonka factory drowned in the chocolate river. But they're fine right now. No, no, they're dead.

I have a strong feeling we've done this bit before. I think we have. Yeah, they have a river of molten steel in the test. Mr. Musk, that's impressive, but it looks very dangerous. Like, no, no, it's not dangerous. Don't be ridiculous. It's fine. All right.

So I wanted to I want to talk about one one more one more thing, which is also another another just big cartoonish just evil shit out of Silicon Valley. But it's not so much the Emperor from Warhammer 40,000 evil. It's like mini boss evil. So by the way, didn't we got an Elon Musk theme tune, didn't we? Oh, yeah, we did. So you guys are familiar with Palmer Lucky, right? Oh, fuck.

Yeah, this was so good. And and and his again he's this guy feels a bit like a sort of mini reactionary Elon Musk because he is basically this gives this guy that started Oculus the VR company that hasn't been used for anything. It was bought by Facebook for two billion dollars for no reason and hasn't been used for anything who has now started a company called Anderill, which is just the fucking nerdy is dumbest shit that I've ever seen because it's just a Lord of the Rings reference. And he is trying to become a hyper startup Silicon Valley national security contractor

for Trump's America. Why do all the chuds like the Lord of the Rings? Because like I don't know a lot about the Lord of the Rings, but as far as I can tell, it's a story about a bunch of little people banding together to take on like an evil empire run by like all powerful ghouls and eventually destroying them, which sounds like that just that's the Republicans, isn't it? Like people are motivated by nothing but absolute spite. Well, I mean, that is how these guys see themselves because like they see themselves as

the sort of defenders of the tradition of the Enlightenment against, you know, the S.J. dubs who all read like, you know, Adorno and Horkheimer and now want to destroy capitalism via culture and tweeting and YouTube, but I think what I was going to say was going like, I don't like these hobbits very sad, very small people, tiny penises, right? Okay, they couldn't have had sex with some of the women I had sex with in the early 90s. All right, now put a big Mac into my eye. What I was going to say was that like tech companies have sort of a kind of became close to the Trump administration even before he came into power, right?

And one of the biggest tech companies who had got involved with this were actually drone companies, civilian drone companies who were initially building drones with cameras on them just for like civilian use. And it wasn't like Jake Paul. And we're in a situation where like, you know, like the drone market basically become over saturated because it's really easy to build one. It's really easy to get a cheap camera and put it on. So you've got all this technology and you too can bomb the Yemen. So what they were doing was that what they realized that the Trump administration with lots of the neocons back in people who like wanted

tentatively to have small government were basically putting out contracts again. You're putting out contracts or tech companies to come in and basically take over national security. So the first iteration of that was surveillance drones. But obviously now, you know, this is a this is a situation that sort of falls into that realm, but it's still at the border wall. Right? Yeah. So what what Lucky has done, essentially, because he is a MAGA guy. Yeah, he is a like mid 20s MAGA guy. Nate, please play Lucky by Madonna. He is he has created a a salute, a basically a high tech solution to the border wall with Mexico in the United States where this technology is called

lattice and it essentially uses some some high speed cameras and augmented reality via I think sort of any any sort of you know, like a like any PC or even iPhone. And what it does is it basically to make one of the best pie cross ever it and what it does is it's basically set up sort of towers and towers and towers right now only near San Diego because it's being piloted that it basically detect any movement along the border and identify like whether it's an animal or a human or a a guard and then it alerts you to movement so that basically it becomes more or less impossible to walk across this border without being seen. This is of course not at all terrifying. Oh, God, I love the article

I read about it. I don't know which ones you read. I just like googled it up and there was some guy from Wyatt who went down to Texas to interview this guy. And they're showing him like they give him like a demonstration and they make this guy put on like a VR headset. And then some sort of like some guys and like some animals like walk across like the field like a mile away from them. And then he like looks and the and the headset just tells him like what they what they are like person animal. And then he's like, Oh, yeah, shit, this is interesting. Although this man has troubling political views. And I'm just imagining like this becoming like a sort of weird porn hybrid where it's like, Oh, look, there's a person over there, but with huge tits. Hell yeah.

I mean, Trump's going to have it reconfigured. So it just is like six, six, six, 10. There's a 10. There's a 10 over there. Terminate a vision for women I could have had sex with in the 90s. Except they've been very unfair to me. Hell yeah, that's Pamela Anderson. Okay. Yeah, she's crossing the border illegally. Yeah, do it, you dirty slut. Yeah, so largely and again, it's the thing that you have to remember is right like that the you put this in the context of people who believe basically that sort of the development of technology that basically liberal assumption that the development of technology was going to be more or less liberatory. It was going to more

or less make our lives better and put that in the context now of with a very, very cheap solution. A sort of young, well educated tech CEO, because he is all of those things is now essentially able to facilitate ICE or CPV or whoever is controlling that particular area is able to create and sort of if you like fill what are increasingly going to be concentration camps for illegal immigrants in the States. Like the fact that the fact that anyone would see that would see this process as largely one of liberation or sort of you know as would see this as sort of history moving forward rather than an enormous reactionary stab in our collective backs is completely baffling to me and the fact that sort of and I notice like in the in the in

the why now the wired piece is the to the to the the author's credit in the wired piece. It is actually relatively skeptical of luck of what lucky is doing. It is it's not or at least it may not be skeptical, but it's not fawning. But he does he raises some objections. Yeah, but you get there are the quotes of people who are testing out this border system who are watching like immigrants get captured in real time or their only reaction is this is beyond cool. I just think it's so fitting that in in 2018, we're going to have a Gestapo staffed by gamers, like it's the corny VR interface. It's going to be a bunch of neckbeards in their mum's basement being like, hell yeah, another Mexican immigrant down. I hate myself for saying this

and I'm sorry in advance, right? Well, like this, there was an episode of Black Mirror, which was exactly like this. I'm sorry, but it's true. It's true. I don't want to bring it up. I know that we're very like sensitive. What if your Mexican immigrant was the phone? No, I mean, the episode the episode was about the US Army and basically like how these new recruits, these like soldiers were basically who were brought up to basically fight. They had been kind of injected with a serum, which meant that like the way that they saw what was initially perceived to be zombies that they were supposed to kill, right? So the idea being that these zombies are taken over and they were killing human beings.

The only way you could get rid of them was by killing them and the way that these soldiers saw the zombies. But then as you go towards the end of the episode, what we realized was that these people are actually like they are migrants who were considered to be unclean, considered to all these, all the kind of like dehumanizing language that we see with like refugees at the moment that was applied to this group. But they were basically physically dehumanizing the idea being that like the only way you could get these soldiers to kill someone who looked like them, who looked like a human being was to actually dehumanize it and turn it into a game, right? So you've got soldiers who in this episode who

literally see this as a game, but you record how many kills they have and depending on how many kills they get will translate to what reward they're given by the system. And that might be like a really sexy, wet dream or something like that. It's a very strange episode, which like of not a particularly strong series, I think was actually one of the better episodes. But are you sure that was a Black Mirror episode and not the film American Sniper? You know what? I haven't seen American Sniper, but I heard a lot about like the fake baby, like the toy baby. That was Andrew Adonis' secret fifth child. When a local person gets Chris Kyle pregnant and he's forced to raise it on his own.

That's the thing. And we see... Why don't we stop reading the titles of my erotic fiction? You kind of see it even like in testimonials of like drone. You see it even like testimonials in drone pilots, right? Fucked in the Levant. Which is like these drone pilots, they kind of operate as if they were playing a video game and they train on video game software. And the idea being that if you kind of just like think about it in very numerical terms, you think about it in terms of like beating your personal best

and best records and stuff like that, then you don't have to worry about all the other like moral implications of war because it doesn't feel like war. Well, this is just... I mean, it's... This really, to me, what this feels like is just another step that was kind of not started, but that you can see in LA policing in the 1970s. When instead of saying, yeah, I arrested that guy, they began talking in this hyperbureaucratic technical copspeak and say, yeah, the male status too had been perpendicularized, three shots to the upper lateral torso region, and I moved into apprehend tactically like this kind of shit, right? Because instead of having to say, I shot a guy, you can say, oh well,

there was an officer involved shooting in which blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you reduce it to a process, right? So you basically kind of like, even in kind of the mode of your occupation, whether you're a police officer, an army officer, someone who kind of just works in kind of any form of security, right? You basically remove yourself from the fact that you're a human being and that moral implications also apply to you. It goes back to that whole thing of just like, I was just following orders, right? Well, it gives it a language. You are a machine until you find a 12 year old black child incredibly scary because he's holding a Yu-Gi-Oh! card. So it was actually a very powerful Yu-Gi-Oh! card.

I was worried I might activate his trap card. Well, that's the thing is what we're looking at here is that there's more abrogation of responsibility. And once you give something to the market, then you have the sort of turbification of abdication of responsibility because Palmer Lucky and his, you know, and his like, like zombie vampires in that are in this Andreal company with him that all like to pretend to be Elrond and Jack off in the mirror. They're all saying, well, we're just providing a service that the American government wanted and we're doing it as well as we could. And everyone working for him is like, well, my job is just to identify the guys and call the guys at CPB, the guys at an ice or whatever.

Like, well, we were just following orders and all of that logic when that when that logic of well everything is instrumentalized is animated by a fundamentally, you know, egregious moral judgment, which is that, you know, migrants to the United States are subhuman than everyone is complicit every single person. People who develop this technology are complicit. All of their employees are complicit. All of their investors are complicit. Mark Zuckerberg is complicit deep down that Palmer Lucky is actually very principled and he has this secret list of Mexicans that he's giving legitimate jobs in the U.S. so the ice can't take them away only only only to get a tax that means that all no, he has to fund the homeless now. So actually this this actually leads me,

I think to I was I jumped on Andreal's website and their founding statement is very, very, very telling. They say our founders were shaped by the post 9 11 era in which America's sense of invulnerability was punctured. They continue to be motivated by the sense of national purpose that arose that day. They come from different backgrounds, have different political views and took their own paths to Andreal, but they share a belief in the duty of American companies to step up and solve crucial national security problems. These guys are literally national security problem of like poor men, women and children trying to find a better life in the U.S. You know that this is essentially a very respectable way of restating 9 11 doers the

Mexicans. That's the thing. This is a very respectable way of restating the common reactionary talking point that that jihadis are bringing across Mexican immigrants. This is literally the plot of Steven Segal's novel but made into a company. Oh hell yes 2018 having a normal one. Yeah, we're just we're all here having a normal one in 2018. If only a new centrist party would rise up and free us from all this madness. Oh my god. Like it's just people like Palmer Lucky. I don't even really find them funny anymore because it's so I'm just so tired of them. It's like they're just such it's ironic that like that he's a char Disney. He's like a full on Trump person that they like calling other people Palmer lucky. Yeah. Yeah, but they like calling other people

cucks and they're just the most like little cuck bitches ever. They're just like, oh, I've developed this new technology that will enable us to like shoot a Mexican baby even even for an even greater distance than before. It's like, what are you doing with it? Like how do you like how do you consider yourself to be like living any kind of like how what kind of worldview does this person have that they're like, oh, yeah, this is something I'm doing. This is like just go home and like take too many sleeping pills. I don't know. I just don't understand these people. The worldview is the is a uniting the to the alloy of Silicon Valley libertarianism and the belief that sort of because it's extraordinarily hierarchical. The belief that there are the people who are billionaire geniuses

who actually need to shape how society grows and who need to step in and solve every problem. And then there are the chuds who just take all their rules. But I think that's actually about time for us today on this episode of trash future that we started 30 minutes into the episode. Whoops maybe we'll get it next time. It's avant garde, bitch. Look it up. Yeah, longest cold. That shit. So thank you for enjoying our episode of the longest cold open ever. And remember, don't buy things on Amazon because you're just contributing to Elon Musk's file. You're my mother. Fuck.