TRASHFUTURE - Far From The Gurning Crowd

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

We continue to follow the incipient strike wave in Britain now spreading to other industries, and think about how the veil between ourselves and a more liveable, dignified existence is once again at its thinnest. We also discuss Labour’s manifest inability to rise to the moment… and then we delve into the mountains of madness with an article about how Glastonbury should be replaced with a Ukrainian army recruitment centre. If you’re looking for a UK strike fund to donate to, here’s one we’ve supported: https://www.rmt.org.uk/about/national-dispute-fund/ If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello, and welcome to this week's free TF. Soap is a free one. Hey, you know what? It's different from what it was. I'm fine with that. Also, we're going free. Before we get... Don't want your freedom.

I'm Captain George. I'm Captain George Michael Price. We're Trans-Kakistan. Look, look, recording the free one. Here's the thing. I want to start out there. I want to start the free one with a bit of a struggle session. In the last two days, because my girlfriend has texted me,

while I've been ending conversations with both of you, I have on two separate occasions, ended those conversations by saying, OK, love you. Yes. Yes, you have. At the end of the podcast, we all kiss each other on the lips.

That's right. That's right. Even Alice, we drive up there. That's right. Kiss her on the lips. I commute down to sleep in a big bed with all of you in the studio. That's right.

But we record separately, because that's a matter of honor. Yeah, that's right. We put an unshaced to record in the same room. That's right. So I decided I don't want to keep that to myself. I need to learn and grow and stop signing off calls. Love you too, babe.

Wow. Men would literally rather start a podcast than say, OK, love you to their friend. Yeah. So at some point, it may happen that if my girlfriend texts me, while I'm signing off, because I guess I must have just the brain of a poodle. Yeah.

What was really funny was the moment when you made the realization after you said, OK, love you, you said, oh, no, not that, which is the funniest fucking way of phrasing that realization. No, no, no, no, no. Not again. Well, it is Pride Month, right? That's right.

Yeah, that's absolutely right. So a hearty love you, babe, to the listeners. Yeah, that's right. It is TF. It's the free TF. We're here talking. A hearty like, who's my little? Yeah, we are tousling all of the listeners' hair.

Yeah. Who's a good boy? Yeah, we've got little pet names for the listener. We're slowly bridging this from, like, cutesy relationship stuff to just dog. Absolutely. I've been trying to bridge that divide for a long time. Who's a good boy?

All right. You want to go for a walk? Of course. Look, it's time. There's some stuff that's been happening. We're going to talk about it. Oh, there always is. Yeah.

Look, I want to open up today's episode with a little bit more of a serious matter, which is that... Yeah, you have some thoughts about the new Call of Juicy. Kirsty Alsop has accidentally eaten one of her airpods after mistaking it for a vitamin. I'm, okay, I'm deeply impressed by this because I saw she posted a picture, right, to attempt to explain how this happened.

And it's like a picture of a palm full of vitamins and then an air pod in them. And the air pod is at least three times the size of the next largest tablet. And it's like, how are you just swallowing that without noticing? What kind of gullet does this woman have? She's like a fucking pelican.

This is why we have to subsidize rent-to-own landlords, or buy-to-rent landlords, rather, is because without the guiding hand of the Conservative Party, they would just have died from eating stuff that you shouldn't eat. They have the ability to discern food of a fucking goose. Honestly, this is also someone who, again,

for American listeners, sort of makes a name for herself every three months. She was, I don't know, like a TV person or something. She's also an aristocrat. She was like a TV estate agent, like a realtor. Yeah, so her and Phil Watts' face, Kirsten Phil, they do location, location, location, which is a show where they help yuppies

decide what house they want to buy. And so she quite often will sort of, you know, write a column or go online or whatever and excoriate the young for a living in an economy that has got ways, raises in line with housing prices. Yeah, if you didn't pay for Netflix, you'd be able to afford a house, kind of. She's one of those people.

One of those people. Although, from her and Phil, I get a kind of like Piers Morgan and Susanna Morve vibe. Like, I think Phil might be based. This is my suspicion about Phil. Because if you watch the program, like, the vibes between the two of them are very different. I want Phil to speak out about the AirPods swallowing.

The thing is, what this sort of makes me think of is like, this is someone who has lived her entire fucking life with training wheels. Not only an aristocrat, but also sort of mostly came up when houses were a tenor. And just like, it's like being, the AirPods swallowing thing means that just like, it's like being scolded by a baby.

You know? Yeah. And it's the whole generation of people for whom, if like, or at least many of whom, the ones that did sort of, you know, find comfort in life, sort of found it very, very easily. It's very clear that they absolutely are, they're like a panda.

They're just evolutionarily not able to like be a viable species. You have to dress up as a by-to-let landlord in order to get around them so that you don't frighten them. They refuse to fuck. We put Kirstie Olsop in a special enclosure and we're introducing another pop show. There were some other details about this, which I found fascinating,

which were the higher explanation as to how the airport had gotten mixed up with the vitamins in the first place. She was like, right, so I poured out all my vitamins and then I put them in my pocket. What? While I went to get a glass of water. Why would you put things you're going to put in your mouth, in your pocket?

Why would you leave them on the table? Swallowing a load of like pocket lint. Lose threads. Imagine if she had to live life on a zero-hours contract. She would have like, she would have starved figuring out how to get it. That's something a toddler would do, right? This is my food pocket.

Got a few biscuits in here. You're just sort of being scolded about not owning a house by someone who has a melted chocolate bar visibly dripping out of every pocket. Yeah, absolutely. I'm saving this cornetto for later. I put some cheese in this one. And then she said that she only noticed

that she'd swallowed her air pod when she realised that one of her air pods was missing and joined the dots. How did you not, like, surely if nothing else as you were swallowing it, you'd be like, that's not right. That's a large item. The gullets on this woman. I mean, how?

How was this possible? What did that gullet do, though? It just fooled Nancy Reagan there. I mean... Just in a non-sexual way. Only for air pods. Sort of like... Who was that French dude who just ate stuff?

Did he eat a plane at some point? No, no, no. Different guy. The 18th century French guy who just ate babies and stuff. That guy. Tyraire? Yeah, she's like Tyraire, but for air pods. We could do a version of that. Do you remember that YouTube channel that used to be

Will It Blend where they'd put stuff in a blender? This is like real early YouTube shit. We could do one, like, can curse deals or swallow it. Or alternatively. I think there's a... Okay, look, I've got a media property here. So trademark copyright, can't copy it. Yeah, patent-pending, patent-pending.

Which is a version of the show Old Enough, right? But it is... Entirely for the British media class. Absolutely. They have to do... This is a like 43-year-old woman. Let's see if she can go to the shops by herself. And we've got cameras stationed strategically.

What is Old Enough? I'm imagining a sort of cursed libertarian dating show. Old Enough is a Japanese reality show where they try and get kids to do errands and then film them. But they're like errands that are slightly too difficult for them. Yeah, you're going out to do the weekly cum shop. A three-year-old will like go and like buys the stuff for dinner from the shop by themselves.

And I would love to see, as you said, Alice, a British media class version of Old Enough, where it's like, we've assigned Julie Burchell to go round the test code and just pick up some stuff for tonight. I tried to ask someone to get their stuff off as a top shelf for me, but no one could understand what I was saying. They started spraying me with only water,

telling me to leave. Cursed Age 50 is going to go down the shelves all by herself. All right, let's start with only 50 then, Len. I want to also talk about another update from, I'd say, someone whose journey we have been following. Oh, we love a journey on this show. Matt Hancock has been cutting up the dance floor at, I think, Park End in Oxford.

Oh, fuck. He's been at love or ignite. And also has recently pledged to climb Mont Blanc for some poorly defined charitable purpose. He's going to get the pen from the top, the special pen. It's like, you know, the Excalibur. Writing Swiss accounts. Just to return previously to one thing, I looked up Kersti Olssof on Wikipedia

just to find out how old she was in order to land that previous joke. And in the personal life section, it has three paragraphs about her personal life and then a whole paragraph about the air pod incident. In June 2022, Olssof accidentally swallowed an Apple air pod but was able to regurgitate it without medical assistance. That's so unfortunate when something like that ends up indelibly on your Wikipedia.

Leave that in the personal life section forever, please. Thank you. It's the sort of thing that never, never happened to celebrities 40 years ago. We just didn't have this, you know. We didn't have small technology. Technology was too big to eat. It's not on like Wikimix, Jaggers, Wikipedia page.

Times he had to have something pulled out of his ass in any or whatever. No one knows about that. No, let's talk Matt Hancock. Because Matt Hancock has been going through something of a midlife crisis, I think. Yeah, but you know, I love this for him. He really seems like he's thriving. A midlife being cool crisis. Yeah, exactly.

He's going to get like a cool car. I'm going to start wearing a bunch of like really bright colors. Matt, do you want to buy BMW? The stereo totally works. So if you recall, right? What Matt Hancock has been just sort of floating from job to job. I still remember like there was one article that just talked about how he once showed up at a pub by a canoe.

Amazing. With now a strange family. Yeah, he just paddled to the pub. Perfect, you know. Like a Hancock. What he did was he, this is like, especially in the context of like, again, like revelations about, you know, other. Yeah, Chris Pencher fucking unnamed as yet Tory MP, a shitload of others, like the

Conservative Party and particularly the Parliamentary Conservative Party. Absolute hotbed of let's say the bad kind of sexual perversion, the non consensual kind of sexual perversion. But Matt Hancock, our boy, got fired for sexual misconduct in public office. And for what? For what? For cheating on his wife with a woman? With the woman he was in love with.

Another what? They were in love together. He's still with her, which is great. She's standing by him. Yeah, but the thing is right. The reason why he got fired for it is because he forgot that every cabinet minister just has a CCTV camera in their office that transmits directly to the Daily Mail Newsroom.

Yeah, I forgot about it. Yeah. And they just turn them on or off at random. Yeah. But now, right? So this is a man who is now entering his second adolescence. And I mean, look, if we're going to, at this point, I wish him every political ill, but I wish him well personally.

That's the thing. He's the least personally venal Tory. Because like as we've mentioned before, Matt Hancock statistically did kill your nan with COVID, right? Oh, absolutely. That party count in the tens of thousands. Yeah, exactly. It's just that any other conservative in that role not only would have killed your nan

with COVID, but have done so out of like personal malice rather than incompetence. And when the bar was like... He was earnestly trying to save your nan. He's just a dog. Yeah, he's just a moron dog. And because... The picture of the dog wearing the like doctor headgear, just with a tongue hanging out. It's no idea what he's doing.

And because the sort of ethical bar is buried so deep in the bedrock, him doing a neat little parkour flip over it makes him the least reprehensive or conservative by an order of magnitude. And this is why I don't think I even wish him every political ill, because I sort of accept the fact that the Tories are basically in power more or less forever, kind of as a fat accomplice. So if it has to be one of them, I want it to be Matt Hancock. Think about this. Who else could it be?

It could be Dominic Robb, might get us all killed, not very funny. Liz Truss will certainly get us all killed, pretty funny. Yeah, pretty funny to be fair. Or Matt Hancock, almost certainly get us all killed, but hysterical. I reckon Matt Hancock could make an agreement with Putin. I think Matt Hancock is... He's so stupid that he would wrong for him. Sittin' down for a little summit on some tiny jockey furniture with Putin.

He takes Putin, Paul Cooring, and Putin and respect him. He's the only Western leader who's in physical shape. But what he's doing that basically... It's met with your leader, Matt Hancock. He is strong. I have met with him. It's unpredictable, right? Because Putin really likes Macron, who is not a guy you would have in mind for someone

Putin would like. So, yeah. No, 100%. I think Putin and Matt Hancock would get along better. Yes, I like your leader, this Matt Hancock. He's like an English alcohol syndrome. I show him Fidget Spinner, which I invent. He was very impressed by this.

Asked if he could keep. I tell him no. I've invented this device most of all. From our colleagues in the West. So, now he goes to a dinner at his old college, goes dancing with his friends. He's climbing Mont Blanc with his new girlfriend. Awesome. Who he got fired for loving?

Wait, is he... Oh, no. Is Matt Hancock's new girlfriend putting him in some kind of God and Girl situation where she's gonna disappear from the top of the mountain and then make it look like he pushed her off? Matt said... Matt, no! We're having to rapidly turn Trash Future into a true crime podcast. We will free Matt Hancock.

That's right. The Matt Hancock Innocence Project. That's us. We will do... We will lose all of our support. We will pivot the podcast to be serial and then tolerate Matt Hancock. We lose all of our current listeners and somehow the podcast becomes bigger than it's ever been because it's a true crime.

True crime is win by default. We all just become... We're like wearing clothes made of solid gold, like smoking cigars. So, Matt said... Stay sexy and don't get murdered by Matt Hancock. It says Matt, Matt, who has been training for the trek since the start of the year to climb Mont Blanc will attempt the climb with his partner Gina Coladangelo and a guide. Matt said...

I've always had a love of the mountains. And although I'm not an expert climber, I enjoy a big challenge. Taking on this breathtaking trek is something I've always wanted to do. I've been training and will be going out to the Alps at the start of the parliamentary recess this summer to make the attempt. It sounds like... Because he has the childlike innocence of what I did for my summer holiday. Yeah.

So good. They've translated this for a Matt's French GCSE oral exam, which he was taking. Le Weekend Dernier by Matt Hancock. So, yeah. Look, again, I want to... I do want to emphasize that we, again, in no way support Matt Hancock. I think we just recognize that as long as the Tory party is going to be around, everyone involved in it is going to kind of try to kill us all in some way or another.

It might as well be the funniest one. Yeah. And it might as well be the one without the least personal malice. Yeah, the most... JLAO Cinema Avec Macopan Prime Minister ship. That's what I want. Yeah. Like, look, we'd rather they weren't in power at all, but given that this is the...

Given a leadership contest between them, let's at least have the funny one. Consider this a sort of Tory Kremlinology, right? We don't have any power to influence this stuff. But it's who we hope wins out in this sort of sort of factional power struggle here. Yeah, exactly. All right. I wanted to go back to... Speaking of power struggles, I want to talk about one political contest in which I think

we all have much more of an actual stake as opposed to just, hey, this is a funny shadow when it goes on the cave wall. Strikes. Strikes. Strikes. Strikes. Is it hottest trash you chose? Big vote.

That's right. It's the most important one. I'm suffering from success winning that poll back to back to back. So just a little bit of context setting here. Since we last discussed the strikes, not only have Heathrow check-in staff voted to go on strike, but also, I believe the CWU has balladed for a strike. Yeah. Postal workers.

Yeah, that's the postal workers. And I believe also a lot of BT workers as well are going to be joining them. Doctors. Junior doctors. Doctors, criminal barristers as well. The criminal bar has been absolutely worse than decimated under conservative rule. So, yeah, matter of time. Also, this is where things take a little turn ethically.

You know who else is not going on strike because they legally can't, but is doing a work to rule over pay. The Scottish Police Federation, they're going to stop doing unpaid overtime and they're not going to go to work early because they can't go on strike because, I mean, this is a recurring theme that we've been talking about on the show forever, which is that like, conservative so ruthlessly committed to austerity that they don't even pay the people that you want to stop people protesting. Yeah, you don't pay the goons.

Yeah. The cops are government expenditure and therefore it's communism. That's right. That's right. Yeah. What were they originally formed for? Strike breaking? No.

Sorry. We can't afford strike breakers. No. That would be too left-wing bang the strike breakers. You should be strike. You should be volunteer strike breaking. Yeah. I mean, the overall thing here is, of course, that like a relentless hostility to the idea

that any kind of job in the public sector should be something that's financially tenable, like that you shouldn't be able to earn a living from doing anything that like even nominally serves the public trust whatsoever. And so with all of that in mind, I saw that some headline figures, this was from an opinion poll collected at the time that you will be listening to this last week, which is that public opinion has vastly, has made a huge switch. Not only were they were mildly supporting the strikes before, they are now supporting the strikes by a factor of like 8%, 45% support, 37% oppose, the rest don't know, which is

quite significant. I mean, we talked the last time we talked about the strikes that Ken Clark already said from the Tories, Ken Clark said, look, the government doesn't have long to fix this because public opinion will switch against us pretty soon. And I mean, I know it has. I mean, it's a tried observation, but it is worth reiterating. I think that's like, if you do a media round that's good and you can like advocate for your point of view, well, it's actually quite useful and effective.

So there's a reason, right? That's the reason why they had to destroy the previous guy who tried to do that. So yeah. And there's a reason why they're so sort of defensive of their ownership of the media space. It's where the ideology comes from. And so the reason why they're going through Michelinches bins right now. What?

And also, I mean, we knew that the strikes were going to succeed as soon as Kirsten Armadistance himself from them. Kirsten Armadist like a weather vane for like what the winning side is because he will move away from that as quickly as possible. But though, so we also like, you know, and this is as we say, right, despite the Labour Party's best efforts, public support for the strikes is climbing. They've not been able to cable together a statement, a position really coherent among all of them.

Some have been taken to good position, others have not. But basically saying, I think we are in the business of winning elections, not supporting strikes. While public support for the strikes is happening, really, I think is about the Labour, Labour new Labour leadership saying, we are in the business of just following, trying to understand and follow public opinion and treat politics like any other product that can be marketed. And that public opinion just so happens to be formed by a political media environment that makes the Tories the national party of government, right?

But here, there is an example of collective action. And again, it's easy to overstate the role of the guy that goes on TV and it's a very important role. But I think here is an example of public opinion being changed by the application of politics, right? Yeah, you can actually drive like public perception. But again, we had a guy who tried to do that and, you know, had to marshal all the sort of forces of darkness against him.

And, you know, so now this is just, I think it's important to view this as a sort of continuation of the same energy that led to Corbinism as a like a philosophy or whatever, because we can talk about the sort of the arrogance of the establishment that having destroyed Corbin as a political project, they then like dusted their hands and went, well, never going to have to deal with any of this ever again, time to continue to cut wages, time to make. None of the underlying conditions both assist. Yeah, the problems are very bad, but the causes are very good.

So we're going to do more causes and hope no more problems show up. Because I think that's right to say, right, that it was from 2008, there was this sense that most people need to have a functional society in order to live the kind of lives they want. People have this irritating habit of needing doctors or needing a train to show up on time. How about you run there and then you won't need a doctor because you'll be fit like Putin. People like having like the Royal Mail. They like having that.

I mean, you can argue about whether this is right or ethical, but just on the numbers, people like having police around even. And I think if that's not... Otherwise, who's going to call them a gentleman and ask if they were involved in an altercation with the lady? That's right. People like having a public sector, people like having public services, but we're governed by a bunch of hooting morons who are insistent on the idea that, no, we shouldn't have any

of those things and you're an idiot if you want them or like them. And I think really, it's important to sort of remember that just because they cut the head off the Hydra, they cut the first head off the Hydra, which was the attempt to solve... Jam Hydra. It was the attempt to solve these problems by seizing one particular very important political office. And it came close to working and then didn't, but that didn't end the need. And I think that's right to say that what we're seeing is some of the same things attempted,

but with more of a use of actual power than an attempted use of purely institutional power. Are you saying that the revolution says, I was, I am, I shall be? Well, I think what I'm saying, right, is... Michelin Gilles. Michelin Gilles. That's right. What I'm saying is that once again, we have seen a curse of the inability to remember as though the result of the politicization that people underwent as a result of the financial crisis,

the first outcome of that, the first sort of effect of that ultimate cause was, you know, was Corbinism, as an approximate effect of a number of other causes as well. But that was one of it. But as you said, that didn't go away. That ultimate cause didn't go away. And here it is back again, but I would argue in a much stronger form because it is not... Much more decentralized, much more bottom up, which I like. Absolutely.

And, you know, that's... Because there was a massive... I think it's easy for us to say, like, you know, looking at electoral politics and saying, the left must X, the left must Y, et cetera, et cetera. Not for us to do that, but for others. And to say... And for us to give the rejoinder, okay, well, what left are you talking about? You're talking about people you see on Twitter.

But there is a left, and we are seeing it in motion. When you say the left, you should be talking about this stuff, these people. Yeah, the something class. No, no, no. Not those people. And I think one of the things that we're learning as well, right? If we try to remember, you know, do that thing that only we seem to do, we and people we know, is that what we learned in the last week's...

So, has a burden being the only smart people? I think that the... When we talk about, you know, the left is being the only political tendency in Britain with a power to remember things that happened more than six months ago. And sometimes more recently than that. Like, definitely, the dementia is degenerating quite fast, I think, in British public life. Yeah, because of all the air pods, like, you're beating. All that lithium is making them much less depressed.

Where, you know, one thing you see, right, is that the restriction of the kind of... Let's say the Labour Party approach, right? The Labourist approach, the Starmerist approach of sell people what they want and assume that they get their ideology as alienated subjects, just sort of scattered around the country, just sort of passively consuming news, and then appealing to the manias that that generates. What you get when you have these kinds of actions, not only do you get people seeing others winning, right?

You see an actual, a demand for a better life, not just being articulated, but then being fought for, with force, like, with the force of a strike, for example. With force brackets legal, yes. Exactly. And, or also, even if you're in one of those organisations, then you're not getting your ideology, you're not getting your understanding of the world as an alienated subject

cut off from your fellow humans, just being made nervous by the news media day after day after day. You're getting your understanding of the world from these other people who you share a common goal with, and a common set of practices and a common institution. Some kind of solidarity or something, yeah. Exactly. And, you know, it's that your trusted sources of information become your associations,

rather than, yeah, the alienated world of staring your computer, wondering who's behind all the problems. That's what I'm doing now. Yeah. And, you know, the, just to go back to the idea, the arrogance of the sort of various political and media elites trying to cement a world in which they, you know, they're much more powerful and people are much more alienated.

And they can eat all of the air pods they want. They can eat all, they can have, they can be on a five, they can eat air pod pros. That fucking, you know, that political cartoon from the time of the Russian Revolution, where it's like a wedding cake thing of like the upper class is going all the way down to the upper class holding up. But the people right at the top are just eating headphones out of a bowl.

That's their extravagant. Let them eat air pods. And so the need to have a functional society doesn't go away. And that need is expressed in different ways. As these, you might say the contradiction, Heitner gets turned to extreme. Yeah. It's very funny to be like, well, we've defeated Jeremy Corbyn.

And now it's fine that, you know, a three-bedroom terraced house in Walthamstow costs 900 grand. There's no need to address this. This won't cause any further problems. We can just keep shutting hospitals down until there's kind of one doctor in one bed. And we just are going to keep going with that process. And I assume it will never reach a point where

there is active resistance to it. In the future, everyone will go to hospital, but only for 15 minutes. Yeah. Your doctor has to like talk to you at like an M&M rapping speed. Yeah. Lupus lupus. So I want to talk a little more about like some of the doctors as well, right? Because the demands being made in many cases are just like

the reversal of wages lost since 2008. And a lot of that, like the ability to say, to stand up and say, I demand that, you know, my pay be restored to what it would have been before, you know, before the tail end of new labor and then the coalition sort of came in and started cutting it, essentially. It is a number one. It's a it's a board from the same place, the 2008 recession, that's sort of this gaping wounds in our society that's been allowed

to just sort of rot and get further opened. But it's partly the gaping society. Yeah, our gaping society. The goat's the society. But it's seeing the success that other unions have had. It's those unions like working, working sort of not necessarily in concert but working at the same time at least. Managers are going to demand a 30% pay rise because that's what

they've sort of said, that the real terms pay cuts to salaries have been. So this is from from the press. It says presenting a motion to the conference. Dr. Emma Runzwick said, pay restoration is the right, just and moral thing to do. Every part of the BMA needs to plan for how to achieve this, but I'm not foolish.

I know that it's likely that industrial action will be required to move the governments on this issue. All around us, workers are coming together in trade unions and winning big. Last month, Manchester bin men got 22%. Gatwick Airport workers went 21%. All politics in this country is about the bins. I've been saying this.

Manchester bin men is the rival band of Johannes von Koninklokken. She said very well, though, it has a positive feedback. People see strikes working and conclude that they should also strike. It's a good idea. But also, remember what we did the last time that we sort of realised that we very, very much depend on doctors to keep this aging society afloat?

No, I can't remember that. Well, it's very did donuts in the Thames. Yeah, exactly. We had everybody like stop and clap for them and bang pots and pans. And we had Captain Tom. Now he was helping the doctors. He was.

By making there be one less patient by going to Barbados. And then his family are helping podcasters. That's right. By doing some stuff, allegedly. So but also like how many more donuts must the Wallach fairy do until you blood sucking doctors are satisfied? Every boat globally will have to do donuts until the doctors need to spin faster and use it as a kind of flywheel.

We're going to look. We can solve the energy crisis. If we're all thank the doctors enough, you can bang your pots and pans together, capture the radiant energy from that. Every boat under the British flag, no matter where it is, we'll start spinning. We'll block the Suez Canal again. Yeah.

The whole thing. If you're a patient in hospital, you have to start banging pots and pans together to summon the doctor. Banging bedpans together. That's right. They make those out cardboard these days. It wouldn't be any good. I think it.

Oh God. But like it's. I'm just like. I'm telling you. How the sort of the sheer resistance that having a functional society will is it's just it lays so bare, you know, the emptiness of everything that has happened since COVID, especially because many of the many of these strikes that have been happening are about restoration about

me either maintaining wage bonuses that you got during COVID, reversing cuts that happened from COVID, these kinds of things. And, you know, well, well, Britain banged the pots and pans together yet more of the, let's say, furniture of the Titanic was just sort of rounded up and put into storage for all the good it will do. Yeah. It feels like it's a critical mass thing, right? Like I think like the political environment will change and there'll

be more public support for strikes and trade unions in general at the point where more people in the wider public either have access to it themselves or see how this is part of a broader like wage thing. Because I think the most powerful tool the right has is basically being like, it's your doctors want more money, but your life. Shit. Why should their life be better in your life? Shit.

Yeah. Yeah. It's papering over the very big crack in the wall. It's like, what if nobody's life was shit? What if it's the end of the nobody's life being shit wedge? Yeah. What if things were slightly better for everybody? Yeah.

Dangerous idea. You have to kill the crab in the bucket inside your own head. That's right. Because what's one of the things, right, that's common to the workforces that are going on strike, which is most of them have been subject to directly to austerity because they're public employees or to privatization and outsourcing and the institutionally powerful, governments or those that aim to be in government,

see the workings of the economy as something only to be managed without stakes for the people either providing the services or consuming those services. That's the thing. They're fucking, they're technocrats in a natural party of government who don't know how to do technology and who don't know how to govern. Yeah. It's just the perfect combination. I think what I'm driving at here is that if we are now at the point where

accepting that the attempt to stop this process by seizing institutional power, by getting Corbyn to govern for 10 minutes before being assassinated, was something that failed. But then you think about this in terms of lines of defense for the concept of having a functioning society that takes over. It's like the people who are the doctors who are striking for a higher wage, they're striking for a higher wage, but they're also striking for a functioning health service.

Just in more general terms, fucking some dignity as well, which is not something that was supplied by banging pots and pans together, it turns out. I wonder almost if having the Woolwich Ferry do donuts in the Thames, was actually patronizing and insulting, it turns out. What the fuck was with that? What did the pros like? They had boats and circles. Yeah, boat circles.

No one even likes the Woolwich Ferry. It's the shittest way of getting across the Thames. I honestly don't understand why it still runs. Well, for the doctors, what if they need to do a donut? That's true. It's a mode of medical transport. Take the Woolwich Ferry for the doctors. I think it's really true.

The last line of defense for having, say, a railway that is safe to take, or that you can take if you have accessibility needs or whatever, is the workers themselves. And this is, I think, one thing that's important to remember. The shit's built by people. Well, that's people all the way down. Fuck. I thought this was just like a sort of autoxiness self-generating railway.

This is also like, you know, one of the things that I sort of, you know, I've been noticing, it's sort of dropped out of the news a bit, but I haven't forgotten because of that curse that we all have. Don't worry, you, the listener to the show, also have the same curse. You know, water companies are still dumping raw sewage in rivers, and the trucking Tory party certainly isn't going to stop them, and the technocrats in labor are going to be too afraid to stop them. You know, who's probably the best hope of stopping the dumping of sewage in rivers?

It's probably people working at the water company. It sounds like they don't like it either. Yeah. Because the same process driving wages down at those companies, right? We talked about the components of price with Gareth last week, right? We have that labor cost, non-labor cost and margin. And margin must stay the same no matter what, or grow no matter what, and then non-labor costs have taken a huge spike.

And so labor costs are having to take a huge, you might say, haircut, right? The thing that makes, it's the same force, the need to preserve margin at a certain rate that is causing the water companies to dump sewage in the rivers as it is, and that's the same tendency that the theoretical strike among workers at water companies will be fighting against, which is preserving margin no matter what, which is preserving just what the owners of the company steal from the people who work at the water company and want a functioning water system. I know that's trite, but it cannot be said enough that it is the same thing,

the worsening service that you receive as the consumer of the service and the worsening conditions that the providers of the service have to endure. It's the same problem, and it's solved the same way by taking the power away from the people who decide what the margin rate is. Yeah. Quite simply. Yeah. And we have seen some effective ways of doing that.

And so I think now more than ever, there is another opening, right? There is just as in 2017. Another opening in our gaping society. That's right. We're pulling it open with both hands. Yeah. Goatsy society. That's right.

Just as in 2017, there was a peak to another way to live, right? I would say we're in another such moment now, right? We must elect heavy comer as Prime Minister. And so now, now more than ever, if you can join a non-scab union, join Acorn, get involved with a migrants rights organization, it's another moment where reality is peeking through and unreality is looking a little bit ridiculous to live in. But in order to take a look at what's on the other side of that veil,

you can't just vote or be a member of the Labour Party or make fun of Kirstarmer online. You have to do something. You have to join one of these types of work. I mean, I think... Make fun of Kirstarmer offline. Do still make fun of Kirstarmer on and offline. We encourage that.

It's a great way... It's a decent amount of what we do. It's a great way to learn about your body. It's fun. It's free. It's a safe and legal thrill. Exactly. But additionally, right?

Which ironically, Kirstarmer has to support. This is a time where you can find and build that power that makes voting useful later. This is a time... And again, this is... Just fuck around. Do shit. Do a bunch of shit. This is why I think... Experiment.

Get crazy with it. I come back especially to Acorn. Just start withholding your labour just at random. Just see what happens. Just at all times. Start withholding your emotional labour. Don't talk to your wife. I think honestly, if you don't work in a heavily unionized industry

and if maybe the only unions that you have available to you are more scab unions or some of the bigger multi-industry ones that might not work for you, then an organisation like Acorn, which is the renters union, is I think solving one of the biggest problems in the country, which is landlordism, and actually confronting landlordism directly.

Finally, we can all get an equal share of the air pods. The greatest British tradition of being a landlord. And so if you don't know what to do and you're British, sorry, you American listeners, do that. This air pod shit got me honking like a goose. Yesterday and I was talking to a guy, he's like my age. We were like kind of friends, our parents were friends as kids.

And sorry, our parents were friends when we were kids, not our parents were friends when they were kids. And I was talking to him about what he does for a living now and he's saying that he works for Visa. And I'm like, oh, that's pretty good. I'm like, you know, there's not really an economic condition which isn't good for Visa as a company. You can't really lose money.

It's kind of like being a landlord and then like a boomer who was present at the thing. Just turned around and went, being a landlord's a good business. Just like Pavlovian response, oh yeah, being a landlord. Oh boy, the dream. So I think honestly, like if you don't know what to do, start with acorn, basically, and then go from there. And also like, well, all of this has been happening, right?

Well, politics has been changing on the ground through the application of class power through unions. Kier Starmer gave a speech at a new statesman conference where he basically said, I want to emphasize that I have abandoned all 10 of my 10 pledges formally. We are not going to consider the 2017 manifesto as a starting point for our next manifesto when we go into government.

Yeah, Kier Starmer got up there and said, sometimes you have to pretend not to hear me. And don't worry about it, you know? Sometimes you'll just say shit, you know, don't hold me to it. He got mad about being called boring again. He did, but he said, right, for example, what we want to, what we do have to do is recognize that having come through the pandemic,

we need to look at everything in the round and make choices about what we want to put our money. Starmer said this when asked about whether he stood by his pledge to scrap tuition fees, meaning he doesn't. He suggested that he was open to reform, saying that the current arrangements don't really work for students. They don't really work for universities. So of course we're going to have to look at that.

And at a time of mass support for what is swiftly becoming almost a general strike to say, to try to galvanize support for yourself by saying, we are going to have to take a look at that. Perfect. We'll be looking into that very strongly. Very, very strongly. Can I read his comments about being boring?

This is just a perfect two paragraphs. Asked about the shadow cabinet ministers reportedly claiming he was quote, boring voters to death. Secure replied, I was sitting around a big table with CEOs from some of the biggest bodies and corporations around this country.

And we were having a very serious discussion about what they expect from government. None of them said, a few more jokes, please. A bit of a laugh. They all said, we want a government which has a very clear sense of its mission. Boring wasn't on the agenda.

They didn't say a few more jokes, please, Keir, because that would imply you told some jokes. Also, it would be very funny. I'm sitting around with the other boring guys. And they all said that actually we're cool. Yeah, they said being boring is good, actually. I mean, also it's like, look, the CEOs, they don't want, they don't want someone who's fun.

The CEOs want someone who's going to get down to business for them, which I will. Yeah. He's going to suck them off under the table, which I'm prepared to do if it comes to it. So, left-wing critics of Starmer, this continues in the New Statesman, will take his remarks as evidence that he's abandoning

the policies he promised during his leadership campaign. Yeah, because we remember stuff. Later, when he said and did. And alluding to this, he mixed it up with a question about his, let's say, radical views as a young person with his more moderate approach now. Starmer said,

when you change your views as you experience life, and you're probably not going to get very far, people sort of drag out something that you said 40 years ago and say, well, you've changed your mind about that. When you sort of ran for leader of the Labour Party on it, then I think. Yeah. When you were a teenager at the age of 44.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I believed childish things. I grew up, I became an adult. I was already a QC when I was a child, but you know. Yeah, that's right, because yeah, it's quite, quite children. So it says, well, of course I've changed my mind. I've changed my mind on loads of things.

That's because I've done loads of things. It was fucking like two years ago. It was two years ago and you're saying that's the same as like no longer being a teen radical. And also you've not done anything here. Come on, let's be honest. Nothing has been done by you. But then again, just taking this,

this is just sort of again, like treated as, I think by the national media treated as like laudable, sensible and to ask, to sort of ask any questions or any follow-up questions about why he did, you know, what like finally go in a gap here at age 45 and then like changes. He found himself in Bali, sure. There is zero curiosity about this

because it's been, of course, because it's being celebrated because, because it represents, it represents the politics of individual, of sort of distant management that enables that kind of alienated, individual, anxious way of living that facilitates ultimately your life getting worse and you casting about randomly on Facebook to find someone to blame.

Yeah, shadows, cave wall. I said that before I went to a full moon party on Kosimoui where a very pretty lady gave me a pill and I felt very good for a while and then I blacked out and I woke up and I was missing my wallet and one of my kidneys and that has had a lifelong impact on my politics going forward. Like he said, I can tell you now that the next election is going to be fought on the economy.

So what, I'm going to steadfastly refuse to engage with what the economy really is. Yes, yes. And any of the other like actors working to influence it. I mean, we knew that. Yeah, of course. Because it's the pretend economy. You can't, you can't engage with like

what actually does stuff to the economy. You have to engage with what the Daily Mail thinks, you know, does stuff to the economy. So like you can't, people can't have higher wages because that would make the economy bad. Don't worry about the underlying logic there. Don't ask any questions. That's just, that's just, you know, that's like a maxim from God.

Look, buddy, what you're trying to do is find depth in a shadow on a cave wall. That's not going to work for you. He says, I can tell you the next election is going to be fought on the economy. The cost of living crisis is causing such hardship for so many people. That's why I won't do anything. Well, he says, so we have to get the economy growing. That's what we're going to solve the cost of living crisis

by growing our GDP. Boost wages maybe? Well, that might reduce the GDP. Well, because of the trickle down effect, right? So because when the economy grows, that always goes into the pockets of the people who need it most. He says, all these other issues are secondary questions to the question of how are you going to grow the economy. Make number go up, make line go up.

Yeah, so all of these questions about real things are secondary of secondary importance versus the shadows on the cave wall. And also if you want to grow the economy, that's all the shit you have to do. That's the shit that works for growing the economy. It's making sure that people have money that they fucking spend. I'm sounding like Jerry Seinfeld.

Who are those people? As we say, it's steadfastly ignoring the politics playing out in the realm of the real, which exclusively works the realm of the unreal and the fantastical. Look, here's the thing, my friends. Okay, Alice and I. We've had a lot of vegetables this episode, and so we compensated for this with a really beautiful dessert. A little meal foi of a dessert.

No, unlike usual, Milo has actually read the notes. Yeah, Riley asked me to read this in advance. It's quite a long article, and I read it, and I genuinely... I don't want the listeners to think I'm speaking hyperbole here. We have read a lot of very silly articles on this show. And they're always very silly, and we always go, what a silly article. And then we go about our lives.

This article is, I think, personally, hands down the most unhinged article I have ever read in the course of this show. Second most unhinged. What was the first? Shoes. Shoes. No, but you see, shoes was kind of whimsical. This is as unhinged as shoes in terms of being as disconnected from any kind of point.

But malicious, yeah. She is howling at demons and apparitions that appear only in her own mind, but also not even scary. Even the demons she imagines are sort of weirdly, it's like, well, that's not... Why are you howling at that? That's right. We read a Julie Burchell article.

She can't decide who she hates. That's what I find fascinating about the article. It's an article that's about hating four different contradictory tendencies. And I'm like, what is this article about? I personally like the way it ends, but I think we're going to get to it. The article is called, Glastonbury sums up everything there is to hate about rock music. In the spectator, of course. As the resident Britonologist, can you give us just like a two minute rundown

for our American listeners, Glastonbury? What rock music is? Right. Yeah, Glastonbury is a massive music festival which takes place in the West country in June every year. It's like, I think it's like pretty much one of the biggest in the world. I think it's like kind of like British Coachella. There you go.

So somewhat hippy, somewhat crusty, but not exclusively. It's a real like British like kind of tradition amongst sort of like people who consider themselves like cultured, I guess, like in that sense, like, but ranging from hippies to like music people to like, it's like a big, it's like very, very middle class pilgrimage vibe. Indeed. So Julie Birchell's Glastonbury article. My summer at Glastonbury or not at Glastonbury is the case may be by Julie Birchell.

Age 56 and a half. Glasto, the diminutive makes me shiver with distaste. Like Peely, as his fans affectionately called the late DJ, John Peel, cool girl, admirer and all-round creep. It sums up everything I don't like. Sentence one. Glastonbury is like a nonce. Yeah, this guy who was a pedo.

I'm reminded of my years as a teenage reporter at the New Musical Express. Julie Birchell go a paragraph without doing I used to write for the enemy challenge. Impossible difficulty. Also, don't full name the enemy. What's wrong with you, Birchell? Come on. Maybe she just had some bad AirPods. Yeah, maybe.

I'd like to make a safety alert. There are some bad AirPods going around the best of them. Julie Birchell's Twitter app, booze and AirPods. Look, if someone gives you an AirPods, take a quarter, see how you feel. Do not swallow the whole thing. It sums up my excuse me. I'm reminded of my years as a teenage reporter at the enemy coming home from some rancid punk club, having pretended to enjoy the drones lurking or the lurkers

droning and dancing around in my room to the Eiley Brothers until the sweet soul music chased the awful white racket away. I'm on a very black me. That's the first thing you need to know. Julie Birchell does not want to be fully white, first of all. No. As you recall, she basically did write a whole book about how Judaism is kind of sad.

And if you think about it, anyone can be. Was this the one that had her like curled up on the floor crying, holding an Israeli flag clutch to her breast? I think yes. I listen. I understand very well wanting to like divest yourself of whiteness, but the correct way to do it is to like convert to Islam and transition your damn gender. Yeah, that's right.

It's also funny that she's like picking out punk music as an example of like the whitest thing she can think of. When sort of punk music is quite a like kind of anti-status quo, like go to an Oasis concert like by all means, but like, you know, it's all like very. Like in general, just like if you want to talk about very white genres of music in Britain, like throw a dart at any British genre of music and you're likely as not. It's going to be insanely full of white things. Like for example, I think most of my, a lot of like say like Unimate group chats, the

question isn't, are you going to LCD sound system? It's which night of LCD sound system did you go to? Okay, so when Lenny Henry pointed out how pale face glasto is, I wrote that this was because black people are less inclined to blow hundreds of pounds for the pleasure of using fetid toilet facilities between bouts of glazed staring at a stage so far away. Race science, is it virtual? Yeah. Let's go.

The very normal opinion about this. Yeah. Staring at a stage so far away, it might be Billy Eilish, but it could easily be Billy Bob Thornton. Noted. Really reaching for a second, for a second like B sound, a second Billy there. I find it odd to, you know, take a large event in Britain at which a large amount of people are in attendance and point out that it's mostly white as though that's something to remark upon in a country where the demographic is 86% white.

And then go, the reason for this is that black people are too smart to fall for this obvious scam. As opposed to white people who were like created in a lab by the scientist Jakub, where he like to fall for scams and to go to music festivals. Yeah, flim flams and things of that nature. So she complains that it's very expensive, but then said this is where we sort of get to the meat and potatoes of the article. The politics of woke are easily absorbed by the Uber privilege. Having in common the belief that the pearls are horrid and must be managed.

It's an article about a music festival. There's not enough black people because it's too woke. Make it make sense. The abstraction of the word woke from black people into her applying it as a white person to talk about other white people is that's been a historical process that needs to be studied. Never have I seen so many white people in one place. There were more black people on stage than in the audience. Tellingly, they were paid to be there rather than having paid to be there.

I have a real beef with the word tellingly because tellingly to me is the I am very clever of British opinion piece. Rising where it essentially what it signifies when you say tellingly is I am making a very clever point. I'm not going to tell you what it is because then I might have to explain the point, but just know that I'm making that would be telling. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, this is tellingly. Yeah, it's different. Yeah.

Tellingly, it's just such a weird abstraction of just like I'm taking something which is extremely normal and making it sound weird by saying it in a weird way. Like, ah, a black artist who tellingly was playing Glastonbury because they'd been paid to play Glastonbury. Tellingly playing a major music festival. Tellingly playing a major music festival. If you follow my meaning. Also, like, is the X also the other thing, right, is that I think part of the... Because when I look at this article, you can't sort of treat it as a kind of text in itself. Rather, you have to use it as a way to try to peer into whatever the psyche of the opinion writer.

Yeah, which in this case is mostly Julie Birchell's horror of being white, which I mean, fair enough, I guess. But also, the other thing, I think, is the kind of the disdain for... It's the idea that I think that a lot of people have that the 1990s was the first middle class decade and everything from the 1990s onward is fundamentally middle class. And everything from the 1970s is fundamentally working class. And I think it's this idea, right, that anything that is... Anything that if you are the avatar of working classness, right, then everything that you hate must therefore be somehow sneering at you. And so it's almost like... I love booze and facts, so those are working class.

And so what she does is she looks at Glastonbury and then says, Oh, I guess this is a big fuck you to me then. Yeah. I went to Glastonbury and they wouldn't let me sing because I have a voice from the pits of hell. So it says, watching the Gernon crowds, I recall Glasto of 2016 and then she makes a bunch of... The Gernon crowd. Yeah, far from the Gernon crowd. She owns them for being posh.

I remember in 2016, I felt personally slighted because not everyone was immediately thrilled about Brexit. Yeah. But then we get a beautiful paragraph with your permission, Riley. I would like to read this one. Please, please, please. Though I don't like festivals in general because of their subterranean standards of hygiene. You can just choose to be clean. You can clean yourself and bring changes of clothes if you're there.

Glasto is subterranean as standard of hygiene. Well, it's like moles. Glasto is more irritating than all others because of its political pretensions. Its symbiotic relationship with the similarly Palestine pandering Brexit-hating BBC is a notable one. What are you talking about, Birch Hill? When is the BBC ever pandered to Palestine? I think realistically, it says that the interpretation of your common spectator writer as a species is that anything that is not an enthusiastic endorsement of everything they want is... Is this Palestine pandering BBC coverage in the room with us?

To the extent that it appears to be the foremost annual works outing. Before COVID, they sent a whopping 300 staff here, more than they did to the World Cup. Tellingly, that's... Tellingly, because a 90-minute football game requires as many staff as a multi... I dare say it will have been roughly the same this year, after which these parasites will go back to piously detailing the poverty of those who have to choose between eating and eating, while blithely ignoring the burden the TV license puts on the poorest. It's fucking spinning the antenna in my radar van. This is specifically...

This is a crypto turf talking point, by the way, because this is a thing that they love to talk about. They have this, I would say, not backed up by statistics idea that like 80% of the women in prison are in there for TV license violations. What? Listen, the moment you try and explain this shit to a normal person, they just start blinking at you. So we continue. Right, Riley just texted his girlfriend, so I'm just wondering if he has anything to say. Also, number one, this just reminds me of what Boris Johnson wrote in his fiction book. He tried to write about the Guardian writing about poverty, right?

There was a character who was a Guardian journalist who was writing about poverty, very cynically, in that book, I remember. And Julie Burchell has written exactly like Boris Johnson writing about people writing about poverty. She's fallen into the like the elephant trap of being satirized by Boris Johnson. But look, I mean, I'd wonder like if Julie Burchell, maybe the fake TV radar van actually like did give her BSE or something. The radar van is real to her. But look, here's the thing. Here's the real sort of pinnacle of this article, which we're going to get to now, which is the high point was President Zelensky's appeal to the crowd. A Jewette would pull McCartney.

Then Yoshi details what would have been an admittedly strange speech to listen to at last in Ukraine. They go off, I guess. Regarding the filthy mess left in their vast playpen by this monstrous regiment of Peter Pan's ingesting. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. It gets worse. It gets worse.

Hold on. Ingesting laughing gas with while Keith Burns, it was hard not to compare the softness of our society with the strength of the Ukrainians. That's fucking dying. And one year we would stand the invasion of a superpower in the same way, which makes me ask, what do you want Glastonbury to be? A recruitment desk for like the territorial defense force of Ukraine. Yeah. Big recruicing booth. You go to Glastonbury and then it's just a long video scroll of like Steve Bray apologizing for his like, you know, EU protests.

And then just everyone who's ever slighted you admitting that they were wrong and you were right. And then just a recruiting desk. The women's sex place rights pavilion. Yeah. And then just a recruiting desk for any of the armies that Julie Burchell admires. Most of today would rather listen to Paul McCartney drinking cider by the glass than volunteer to save people in the Donbass. And I think that says a lot about our society. Exactly.

What does she want? What does she want? What does she want me to fucking do? Like, instead of- What's Russian for telling me? Glastonbury this year has been what replaced by like a fucking artillery duel? What the fuck are you talking about? Hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think we'd go for telling me. There we go. Well, what is it? I mean, literally. Yeah.

So look, if Julie Burchell, why don't you go start your own festival? Yeah, please, please do. We'll go. We will all go to your version of Glastonbury. It's entirely like grime and drill music. And you always have to volunteer for the Ukrainian army. No, no, you could also volunteer for the IDF. Oh, yeah, you could do that.

You're like, you cast clearing, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get into the IDF. But if I don't, I've got the Ukrainians as like a backup. You can get into the IDF with three Bs if you're from a deprived area. So look. My personal statement for the IDF. Weirdly, the Arizona state of- I would relish the opportunity to police Gaza. It's long been my passion ever since I was a young boy.

It's weird how they turned this music festival into, um, into a training compound where you learn how to like clean, clean and rapidly rebuild an M16. Doing a UCAS personal statement for the IDF is a very funny idea. Anyway, I think it's about that time. We all have to go. So from B to all the listeners. We'll have to go kiss each other and sleep in a big bed. I love you everyone.

I mean, oh no, no, no, no, that's right. I love you everybody. What are you doing here? I love you too. I love you guys. You're some of the only people who read my articles. I always respect a fan. Okay.

All right. Thank you for listening to TF. Donate to a strike fund. And then once you've done that, don't forget we have a patreon for a second episode every week. It will be coming out in a few days time. Have we announced our various tours and live dates yet? Remember a friend show, 26 of August. I'm not sure if the tickets are on sale yet.

If they're not on sale, just get excited about them. Just get excited. My own editable show, 4th to the 28th of August. Not the 15th. Don't try and go on the 15th. It won't be happening. I'm going to go on the 15th. Previews, for me, are fucking the Sekford in London on the 12th of July.

That's Tuesday night. I'm going to fuck the Sekford. I'm also doing a double-headed preview in Worcester on the 22nd of July with Hal Crudden. Tickets for all of that is on my website. There's also going to be one on the 29th of July in Deal in Kent. Do you live in Kent? Do you live in Kent? It's 10pm.

Do you live in Kent? I'm not sure yet. It's 10pm. I'm not sure that the tickets are on sale for the Kent one. But if you live in Kent, deal. Beautiful deal. Wonderful deal. One of the best deals I've ever seen.

Come to that. Perfect. All right. Well, cool. We'll see you all variously in the things that we've described. Bye very soon! Love you. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye.