TRASHFUTURE - Finally, A Company is replacing "Debt :(" with "Debt :)"

Episode Date: March 16, 2021

We explore a fun new start up that solves the most difficult problem of paying down debt: the user interface. Then, we go on to explore the strange triangulations in British politics of who can compete to give nurses a more reasonable pittance. Will Starmer be easily outmanoeuvred by the Tories, who will continue to successfully implement their patronage model of the economy? Of course he will! If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture We support the London Renters Union, which helps people defeat their slumlords and avoid eviction. If you want to support them as well, you can here: https://londonrentersunion.org/donate Here's a central location to donate to bail funds across the US to help people held under America's utterly inhumane system: https://bailproject.org/?form=donate *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

I've also lost work. As a result of my sudden financial insecurity, my marriage was faced under such a severe strain that my wife and I finally agreed to separate. Hello, welcome to this free episode of TF. It's me, Graham Linehan's wife, and I'm joined on the recording by Graham Linehan's wife. Yeah, it's me, Graham Linehan's wife's boyfriend up in Glasgow by Graham Linehan's wife. And as always, in Kent, joining us is Graham Linehan's wife. How are you doing Graham Linehan's wife? I'm great. I divorce Graham Linehan because when the when the when the Democratic People's Republic of Dothan was established, I haven't been allowed out of the border.

That's right. You divorce Graham Linehan not because of his like just multi-year campaign against like trans people, but because like you're now part of a cult that requires you to be mass married. Correct. We do have to acknowledge Linehan, despite his, you know, moral positions, which we absolutely don't agree with, as being one of the great all-time posts. I mean, that man has posted himself. He posted his way into a divorce, which I appreciate. I don't think that he's a great poster, but he's someone who definitely like posts like

he definitely is one of those guys that like posts through it, but in a way that somehow like it becomes worse as he goes on. So he has like posts energy, but I don't think that he's like a great poster by like Comparing contrast, comparing contrast, right? Both kicked off of Twitter, both issuing statements in one case to a parliamentary subcommittee and in one case to the world at large, Graham Linehan and Donald Trump. Graham Linehan's statement was this sort of rambling thing about my wife, whereas Donald Trump's was, yeah, you're getting the vaccine because of me, that beautiful shot.

He still writes like he posts and I hope everyone remembers. And it's like, yeah, no, this, this man, Trump, this was a post. Yeah. God, yeah. I mean, you're getting, you're getting the vaccine. It's because of me. A lot of people will tell you, a lot of people will tell you the vaccine. They made it in a lab. They didn't. Okay, this is a Trump vaccine. They make it in the back of the restaurants. I supervise it, actually. I've got a guy there. His name is Jerry. I said, Jerry, Jerry, how's the vaccine? Are you doing it? Put it in me. Put it in me.

From the office of Donald J. Trump, March 10, 2021, statement by Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America. And this is the statement in its entirety. I hope everyone remembers when they're getting the COVID-19 brackets often referred to as the China virus vaccine. If I wasn't president, you wouldn't be getting that beautiful shot and shot as in quotes for five years at best and probably wouldn't be guessing it at all. I hope everyone remembers. But wait, he isn't president. No, but he doesn't agree. He hates being called former president. So he's, he's just 45th president forever. Still, though, statement by Graham Linehan,

former writer of black books in the air crowd. Yeah. If you're, if you're a woman and you wouldn't be in less because, except because of me. You're getting that beautiful shot because of me. Yeah. Yeah. So what actually happened here, right? Is that Graham? A lot of people, they're becoming ladies now. You see it happening. You see it now. You go in the toilet, sit in the bathrooms there. You see the ladies now. They weren't ladies. They weren't ladies before, but they are now. And the Democrats, they won't tell you that, but it's happening more and more actually. So what's so interesting, Milo, is when you

drop into Trump voice, your eyes narrow like this. Oh, absolutely. You got to go full hog. You can't do half Trump. What happened here is Graham Linehan was, laterally, of his wife's parish was, was called into the house of lords to my wife, parish, was called into the house of lords to talk about like, I don't know, like online censorship and then basically they got him and they got this other turf, Helen Stanneland, to talk about why they were banned. So I'm so glad we're catching up to the kind of legislative stupidity that gave us Greg Stooby being like, you know, why, why am I not seeing the YouTubes that I want to see? Yeah. Right wing politics, however it is expressed,

tends to just express itself in getting mad at the mods because mostly, mostly society is like set up for you and going fine for you and like only the most extreme fringes of that movement are really ever going to have any problems. But because not everyone is thrilled to talk to you or they're thrilled to hear from you, you're going to like get summoned in front of a house of lords parliamentary subcommittee to reliticate your Twitter. He didn't have an easy time of it though, because as yet that kind of transphobic movement does not have the bulwark that wire diamond and silk getting like shadow banned from Twitter has. And so like the reception that he got was like, why are you talking to us about being banned from

posting? Yeah, that's very, it's very satisfying that when he went to like the only person in there who took him seriously was the person who invited him. And to be clear, if I somehow got the power to invite people to like a house of lords symposium on getting banned, I would absolutely invite Greg in with a hand because he would have the most insane things to say. And then he did. Alice, hit me with that one more time. Well, what I love about this, right, as opposed to the sort of like Greg Stubey thing is it shows the difference between Britain and America because in Britain, the kind of fruit cake, sorry, in America, the kind of fruit cake that gets admitted to invited to like some symposium

to give their talk about getting banned for Twitter is like the right wing, like your Greg Stubey is like the kind of like the right of the Republican party. Whereas in Britain, it's the Libs. Like it's the Libs who have lost their mind more because like the right in Britain like they're less concerned about posting, I feel. Whereas here, it's like, it's the turfs. They've gone, they've gone mad, but we shouldn't forget that these people are like establishment liberals. They're not like right wing fruit cakes. They're kind of like, you know, they're friends with like guardian columnists. There was a huge controversy about, because the Green Party of England and Wales managed to pass a turf amendment that made them like,

made their official policy position that women are smaller and weaker than men, which is incredible feminism. But like the fact that this happened in the Green Party just proves your point, Milo, that it's like, this is absolutely sort of middle class, labradoodle, Bartherers. Yeah. So the thing is though, in honor of Graham Linehan, talking about getting banned in front of the House of Lords and having his wife leave him on these trans women in my bathroom shagging my labradoodle. That's for me to shag only is that the New York Post has just announced that scientists are planning to send 6.7

million sperm samples to the moon. So I think what that teaches us is shoot for the ISS because even if you miss, you will land on the moon. It gives a whole new meaning to moonshots, I am. One small nut for man. I've got to, I've got, oh my God, I'll be, I'll, I'm going to like level with all of the listeners here today. I was like, I've been feeling like I refuse. I'll never live well. I'm leveling with all of you. I was like, feeling like before we turned on the microphones, I was like, I was like, oh, I don't know if I'm ready to record today. Boom. As soon as I started talking about Graham Linehan, I'm fucking in it. Yeah. The moment we turn on the record. Yes. A little bit behind the curtain was we all started shouting each other before the recording

just to try and get some energy into the room. Whereas like for some, it's my mood to be honest, every time we do this, my mood just goes up by 40%. You got like a little buff thing. You got a mood left. We're all sims. So this, this startup was actually sent in to me by friend of the show, Wendy Liu. Graham Linehan's ex-wife. Good morning, Wendy. Yeah. Like Graham Linehan's ex-wife, Wendy Liu. Everyone is, everyone is Graham Linehan's wife. So it's like, it's like when Muslims all call each other brother, like everyone is like, oh, Graham Linehan's wife. So the Graham Linehan's wife this week is called Dezzi. No. I'm afraid it is. Dezzi but for debts. You get a hand crocheted debt. One very irritating monthly repayment. Milo, Dezzi. Is it an app where you can borrow

money from the now deceased Russian rapper, Dezzi. Wow, Milo, you got it. Ota behind the classic track. Can we get a drop of that in the episode? I think the whole story. I can send it to Nate. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's right. Yeah. There's a Russian rapper, Graham Linehan's wife. I'm listening to this and getting more and more mad that nothing we're saying is defamatory. It's just extremely weird. Yeah. Much like the things that Graham Linehan says. One of the things I think is fun about someone like Graham Linehan is that like kind of regardless of your political persuasion, everyone just finds him a hilarious weirdo.

Even the people who agree with him. Like there was a brief period where he was on one on Twitter before he got banned. And all of these other transphobic feminists were like, Graham, Graham, you're really like, you're not helping our whole transphobia deal here. And he's just like, no, shut up. I know what I'm doing. My wife. The turfs have the same relationship with Glinner that the SS had with you. It's being a bit like, whoa, you guys are a bit too into this. Like we're into it, but like you guys are like, yeah. Hussain, Dead Sea, what do you think? I mean, I'm just thinking it's a lone shark of some sort. Yeah. Is it an indentured servitude thing? I'm afraid Hussain's closest.

We are building an enforcing trust in Blank. Graham Linehan's wife. My wife. Invest in Graham Linehan's wife. I'll do another one. I'll do another one, because that's what doesn't give you much. We designed Dead Sea from the ground. We could edit. We would be so good at copyright copy editing for these companies, because we can just take out all the bits where it's like, no, this is a mention. We had a case in the wild of the Pete Buttigieg, Laura Mipsum of corporate social responsibility, Black Lives Matter, in a very corner, spacey move, the SPD in Germany, the German Libs, put out their posters for the

campaign season, but they didn't have any messaging to put on them. So there's all of these beautifully designed posters that literally say Laura Mipsum de la Citta met SPD. Yeah, that's right. And you know what? They're going to smash it. It's like 50% of the vote. Straight out. Yeah. That's party politics, baby. Well, save that in the back of your mind for the UK Labour Party. I've heard of a very interesting political strategy, which people are calling Laura Mipsum, and I think that it's perfect. I've been looking at the Laura Mipsum text, and it says a lot more than anything I've said so far. So we'll be adopting it wholesale. I mean, I don't want to go all the way back to Tarkovsky. And again, I want to save

this for the Labour section, but my goodness, he does think of himself as Solaris. No, so we designed Dead Sea from the ground up to utilize technology to provide a more streamlined, compliant and effective resolution process for blank and blank alike. Oh, fuck it's debt collection, isn't it? There it is. Oh, yeah. It's flat nose geysers, but from an app. Matt Hancock and Dave Courtney putting their heads together. Do you remember there was a British reality TV series about bailiffs? It was called Can't Pay Will Take It Away, and Sky or whoever fucking followed around these wide geysers. If you're not familiar with bailiffs in the UK, unlike sheriffs say in the US, they're not cops. They have no power. They're very similar to TV licensing people.

It's like, are you too stupid to be a cop and like too fat to be a bouncer? You can be a bailiff. Exactly. And so what they'll do is they'll just kind of show up and sort of browbeat people into letting them in so that they can take their photocopier to pay off a debt. And it's like, they made fucking like 50 seasons of this or something. Well, there's been more than one TV program about this as well. We should watch that on stream is what we should do. Classic British daytime. British daytime TV is either about like Byterlet landlords, antiques, like weird shit people are doing with dogs or bailiffs. Is that Queen O you got there? It's French polish. No money is it?

Oi, that's lack of getting. I know what you've done with a place, but it will be repossessing that beautiful Rococo side table. Right. These Queen Anne chairs, yeah? Fucking Warfish separate. I'ma take one of them. You got a week to pay or I come back for the other. They can do that with an app for Queen Anne chairs and bouncers and bailiffs. So owing to outdated processes and traditional and bad actors, traditional debt collection is rife with harassment and fraud. Oh, I wonder why. Yeah. It's well, I think it's the outdated processes and bad actors, in my opinion. Absolutely. It can't be. It can't be a problem inherent to the structure of the

that couldn't be. That doesn't that would imply that there was some kind of top structure. Yeah. No, well, no, this is this is all about. We're just trying to, you know, really, if you make everything super efficient, then no one would be in arrears at all. That's right. Yeah, exactly. The debt collection industry is broken. The problem is that it is not despite touching the lives of tens of millions of American moments. We'll always remember. Like give me a Facebook montage of me. Like what is my arm around a bailiff? It's been a long day without you, my friend. We this is what so what their offer is, right? It's a platform, right? It's a lot like our

guy, which if you remember, was like integrating all the information about your whole life so that a lender can lend you on the basis of like a gig economy job. This platform is like the mirror and the mirror image of that where they're like, we tailor our engagement and offer our offers to our borrowers unique financial situation, their preferences and what's worked for similar borrowers. Meanwhile, we provide real-time transparency around our collections to our creditor clients to demonstrate our compliance and effectiveness. And so like, because they are platform, they're not actually like the company that does this. They're like, they don't have to get the hands dirty with like taking somebody's

Queen Anne chairs. No, they just point to which Queen Anne chairs to take. And then they say, like maybe we could get like clippy to suggest that what if you just like reupholster the Queen Anne chairs and then you can sell them on. Yeah, they're brick top and the debt collectors are Turkish. That's right. Yes, those are from the same movie. I just had to quickly make sure that we weren't bringing in any lock stock. The debt collector lost for Vienna. That's right. So, owing to outdated processes and bad actors, traditional debt collection is right with harassment and fraud. Our products tackle this. It's almost as though the action of debt collection implies harassment. What is that? Harassment. But like harassment. Like,

how are you going to collect a debt from someone who's not paying the debt without harassing them? Like, what do they think they're going to do? Well, it's because most of these products are made by like middle class in Silicon Valley people talking to one another who have never had their Rococo side tables repossessed. That's right. Yeah, they're only by Barak. And so they mostly just think, oh, well, here's what I imagine the problem is, which is the problem is that debt collection is like a sort of an unsophisticated industry of flat nose geezers and such the like. Yeah, we're going to streamline and professionalize it because then like all the people who are in like payday loan debt would be like

the families that are advertised in the hoardings outside of luxury flats. Can I give my bailiff a negative review? It would be and because you see even like how places like Wanga used to advertise, it was fun, it was young, it was technically enabled and it was using the app was a pleasant experience. And what they're trying to do here is kind of the same thing where it's like, oh, you can be a consumer having a fun time by interacting with our app and we're going to tailor our all the while ignoring what this actually looks like in the real world. I've gotten a bit of a sixth sense for identifying these tech products that are either cynically

or entirely gormlessly created by people who have never left San Francisco. Here at Dead Sea, we have envisaged a debt collector who would reminisce with Davies Cattino. Yeah, we're showing like the problem with like borrowing money from Tony Soprano when then he breaks your knees is that like- He's not breaking your knees efficiently enough. Yeah, that your relationship with him is primarily conducted through phone calls and meetups. Tony Soprano doesn't have diverse hiring practices and that's the main issue. Milo, you haven't seen the notes for this. The perks and benefits are free food, health insurance because it's American company, work from home and then how do you work from home

as a debt? Are you collecting debts from yourself? Remember, this is the platform. Right, right, right. You're working for the platform that provides the service to the debt collectors and harass them, I guess. So you're basically, you're working as an engineer on Dead Sea coding it and Dead Sea sells itself, right? Because if you're the bailiff, you're the user of it rather, fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Uber, but the bailiff. Yeah, effectively. So they're actually going to exploit bailiffs, which is maybe good. Critical support, I guess. We're going to exploit bailiffs and have them

turn to this crank that will grind this crisp. Like we discover that it's kind of impossible to abolish the police, but what we can do is precaritize the police and make them all gig workers. This is dangerous. Yeah, I mean, you joke about that, but I can definitely see with like all the conversations we've had about like volunteer policing becoming like a big thing like pretty soon. I can definitely see that happening. If you remember, we talked to Charlie Strauss a while back and that was like one of the central conceits of his book, Dead Lies Dreaming, which is like the, one of the sort of the characters that become sort of disillusioned,

obviously with her role is a gig economy police officer. Oh God, the fucking monkeys, poor curls and we all become cops after all, but it's as part of like an extended bit because those are the only union jobs left and we don't actually do any cop stuff. But here's the thing, right? I have highlighted the next bit of their perks and benefits. It is in size 40 font. Awesome. Okay. Loram social impact driven social impact driven. Yeah, the impact is like a limb ring with your fucking incisors. Well, because but because they have this ideology amongst themselves that what they're actually doing is like improving the borrower experience as opposed to just like facilitating

a brutal extractive process that you could actually say that like this is making a social impact and we're like, you know, causing people to not have their loans in arrears because we've made it easy to repay with an app. They've heard a person in debt say, man, I wish paying back this debt was easier and taken that to mean on a purely operational level. I wish it were easier for me to repay this with the money that I have. I can't get in touch with these people about paying them back. I don't understand. And finally prioritizes diversity and hiring. So thank you. Yeah, great. Yeah. Love that for them. So look, they say, yeah, they're there. The way they're increasing recoveries is they're using machine learning and a human touch to

match a borrower's unique financial situation touch of a second rank. I am begging you to stop saying machine learning. Well, can someone fucking human learn what that fucking phrase means? You're not doing any machine learning. You're just doing Uber for bailiffs. Well, I think a lot of these a lot of these things like in fact, Greensill also did this. And by the way, to the people adding us about talking about Greensill, the Greensill episode is coming. We're just there's more things to play out. But yeah, we're trying to recover some people who are currently on the run on the country. That's right. We are we are no longer the most dangerous. We are arranged in a secure in a fucking surveillance van outside of a certain

premises, which we will not name. And we're waiting for certain other shoes to drop before we do that. Rumor has it that Lex Greensill never paid his TV license. Well, you had a sponk on the clock heads outside Lex Greensill's house. Lex Greensill has to interact with Dead Sea in order to pay back $10 billion to Gretzweez. We're taking that fucking Rococo side table. Oh, what's this? Is it a 50? It's a pretty shotgun. Perfect tranquilizer rifles, right? We're having those. He's got he's got he's got one of them big dog sculptures. Hang on a minute. No, no, no, no, no. That says Dean Coons on it. That's a fake. He's the he's the airport literature writer. That's supposed to be Jeff Coons. He's got it. Lex Greensill is so rich.

He has an original Dean Coons sculpture. That's right. The one time Dean Coons tried sculpting and he bought it. He paid Dean Coons to do that just as a flex. Dean Coons, I really don't want to. I'll pay you. I'll pay you. I'll pay you a billion dollars in Gretzweez funny money. I would love to get a sculpture from someone who has no idea how to sculpt. That'd be great. Anyway, so what they say is machine learning. I think I think what this means basically is like, got an original grandma and his wife. In this case, the machine learning is probably just quite like rudimentary where it's like looks at like the sort of the process of going through the different stages of the app. And it's like, well, what is associated with

someone successfully going through blah, blah, blah? Again, it's like a pointing technology at the wrong part of the problem entirely. But also match a borrower's unique financial situation. If someone's in arrears, the financial situation is probably pretty similar to everyone else who's in arrears. Yeah, but now they're being just they don't have any money to be an app. Yeah, there's an app and they're the genre of fucking gambler. It's the it's the same. It's the same thing of the you are you are a special unique flower. So don't join a union. It's the oh, you're a special unique flower. So don't understand that like the reasons that you're in debt and the nature of your debt matches every other fucking person in debt. You deserve a debt

collector who understands you and your needs. Yes, that's essentially the pitch here. Christ, fucking hell. Yeah. Here at Dave Courtney Industries, we Dave Courtney undertakes like a like Dave Courtney hires Zoella to rebrand his operation. We throw a weekly open hot tub for debtors and debt lenders to come together and discuss the Baptist. That's right. So God, Lenny, the governor, McLean a genuinely scary man in real life. I have some stuff. I have some UK and review and US in review. Oh, two good countries, two great countries. Here's something that will be familiar to everyone listeners in the UK. Did you know that everyone who was elected to become chair like to now run the Nevada Democratic Party was from the like Democratic

Socialist left slave? Do you know what happened then? Everybody else in the Nevada Democratic Party took it very well, I imagine. Yeah. And they got it. So apparently, Judith Whitmer, who won her election to become chair, received an email from the party's executive director. Congratulations. I really love this name. I really love this name, Alana Mounts. That is a fucking phoning up Moses lacks bar ass name. I'm I'm I'm Alana Mounts. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, so he was, uh, yeah, emailed by Jennifer Wunch or some other some other names like this. Amanda Huggins. He mailed by Amanda Huggins kiss everybody was quitting because they all love centrism so much that they are willing to torpedo

their own party because it went into a left wing position. We have torched this past use of the ground. Congratulations. You're sincerely IP freely. That's right. Um, and I think it goes to, I mean, God, the parallels, right? We do love the parallels. Yeah, we love to see them. I mean, Keir Starmer gave it gave an address today where he genuinely started to sound. I was like, this isn't Keir Starmer. This is me doing an impression of Keir Starmer. Even the voice is starting to sound ridiculous to me. I'm like, this can't be a real guy. This is a fucking Muppet. What? What was it that you're saying? Just talking about the elections in May and how important they are. It was everybody was very much in this voice. Um, because his voice is

becoming increasingly my impression of his voice. That's right. And I don't know why that is, but I think we can call on the prime minister to do more. He's a $10 patron. Yeah, that's right. Listening on a zoom. Now there's an old school. There's a deep cut. I can see Keir Starmer having a zoo naturally that very much ties in with the Keir Starmer aesthetic. But yeah, it's like it is it just it goes to show, right? No matter where you are, on what side of the Atlantic, the parties that are supposed to just like lay claim to your vote, don't want to involve you and hate you and don't want anything to do with you, but are willing to shame you for not going out for them.

So, um, as ever, um, yeah, that's right. And Britain as well. Yeah, the Republican and conservative parties have much better customer service than the Democrat and Labor parties because when, when the voters on the fringe of those parties get pissed off about something, they adapt. When a bunch of people start being like, we want it to be more racist. We're voting for the Tea Party or for UKIP or whatever. They're like, okay, we'll get more racist. You try doing that from the left with the Democrats or Labor. They're like, okay, we'll get more racist. Like, well, I guess we'll have to get these Tory votes then. So what I find also, uh, and again, like God, like an absolute, just an echo from the past here,

Whitmer's predecessor, former Clark County Democratic chair, Donald West, said that Whitmer quote, did not try to bridge gaps in the party. She doesn't listen to others opinions or take them on board. I found that working with her could be really difficult. She doesn't collaborate well and doesn't work to build consensus. My consensus. It seems like anytime, like a bunch of, you know, like party apparatchiks, like want to whine and cry that like the left is within spitting distance of some kind of administrative power, every single time the answer is always, they hate consensus. They don't want to take our

opinions on board, which really means we don't want to be the junior partner in this coalition or willing to like basically, um, quit our jobs and lose our health insurance. So we don't have to do what, uh, leftists say, which to be honest is admirable political commitment. Also again, it's very funny because it's them while getting angry at leftists for doing, you know, like Stalinism and refusing to consensus, they are ironically doing extremely Soviet Union shit of just being like middling party bureaucrats who stop everything from working just by being like, no, fuck you. I'm more important than you because I do all the forms and you will never understand how the forms work because they're deliberately extremely

complicated and pointless. Anyway, I'm glad we don't live in the Soviet Union. That's suck. Absolutely right. T-shirt themed around this idea. No, that would never work. Are you kidding? Oh, those will never be on sale. If we wanted to make something like that, we would have to come up with some kind of incredible idea and then like hire a well-known extremely good artist to like draw it and then Yeah. And then we'd have to get it printed and then Nate and I would have to spend several days shipping all of them. That would probably take like two or maybe three weeks before we're even

ready to announce that. Yeah. Well, shame that's not going to happen. A simple flight of fancy, I suppose. I love my friends and my podcast Whimsy Future. That's right. Who's saying, how does this strike you, this hilarious little bit of a strawberry? You know what? It's just kind of like the kind of parallels between, because I didn't actually know about this until like we came on the show. But like, obviously, like there are a lot of kind of parallels to what's happening in Liverpool. Also, just like generally, like, you know, this kind of this kind of and it's bizarre. It's bizarre. It's sort of bizarre in like the States, but also in the UK as well, where it's kind of like, you know, we had the whole thing of,

you know, leftists sort of having to swallow their pride and vote for Biden on the basis of as, as the, as, as the TikTok person had said, like, you know, You're going to vote for Mac, the other guy, you know, you can, you can vote for the other guy once we get the fascist out of the office, right? So like, you know, fascists, right? So swallow your pride and do it. And like, that's what, that's what we did. We like, you know, we, we ate shit, right? Or like, they ate shit, we will eat shit, like in the next general election, and we will reluctantly vote for Keir Starmer for them. Like, Yeah, speak for yourself. Like, okay, like,

I will vote enthusiastically for Keir Starmer. I'm voting for the green party as the only party that acknowledges that women are just small and weak. But it's also just, but it's also just evident of like this tendency of like, on like, you know, on, in like, social, like socially progressive political parties, which is that like, they're much more invested in getting rid of the left than they are and actually like proposing anything new or anything meaningful, which is why, like in the UK, you have like Angela Reina going on TV, like struggling to kind of like, say that nurses need a pay rise, or they'll say that like nurses need a pay rise, but then, you know, and then, but not actually kind of say how much, right? Because we can't just do the thing.

And like actively rejecting the 2019 manifesto, which like, by the way, the same manifesto about like, the current Tory government is like, taking ideas from and taking full credit from it. To all like Keir Starmer can kind of like shrug his shoulders and be like, well, you know, it was our idea, but like, great, you can have it and like, you know, good luck and like, sort of well done at the same time. But yeah, like they just seem way more invested in like, getting rid of like, the people that they've been mad at for so like, they've been mad at for so long. And I guess like, fine, go like, go for it. But at the same time, that's the thing, that's the thing about like, the democratic right, or the Labour Party right is they got

everything that they wanted, and they will never forgive us for it. I mean, like, I was like, I was like, I sort of go on to like, the kind of very few accounts that support Keir Starmer online and like, what they're talking about. And like, they're so kind of, you can tell that they're really disappointed in Keir Starmer and you can tell that they're like, they don't really know what to say about it. So they'll kind of just go on these like bizarre kind of screeds about Owen Jones or about like some kind of like minor character from like 2017 and how this is kind of like an example of the kind of left that Keir Starmer wants to destroy and like, you know, good riddance to them. But like the reality is, is that as Alah said, like,

they got exactly what they wanted. In many cases, they got more than what they wanted. And they're way too busy just trying to kind of like, finish the job, then actually like, want to do anything in government. I guess that feeds into the whole like, I've that feeds into this broader thing of like, no one actually wants to govern, whether that's the governing party, or the opposition party, no one wants to govern, they just want to like, get mad at each other and do posts and stuff. So, oops, we accidentally made the culture wars that we invented to not do politics, not only politics now. I hope you're curious about trans people for the rest of your life.

So look, there are some other other things to talk about here in the US as well, which is I've been looking at the stimulus package, right? And it'll be because it's going to be relevant to us because it's going to change, especially like, not just like the nature of Britain's relationship with the UK, the US's relationship with the UK, but also the US like the world's relationship with the American tech industry, which was basically created by the previous stimulus package, you know, basically like, not both not going too far and being hidden in all this. What I find very interesting about the 2011 about the 2021 stimulus rather, is that it seems to actually very effectively solve a lot of the problems of 2011.

Only took us 10 years. Well, at least someone is finally solving the problems of 2011, because someone can go back and tell my 18 year old self that that's great. What we've done is we've gotten, we finally got the snake infestation under control by releasing these mongooses. And that's the only thing that's going to happen. Perfect. So specifically what's happened, right, is what this stimulus seems to get very right is while there is means testing in it, right? And that's like massive mistake. Yeah, they can't, they can't help themselves. They love to means test because they just, they want, I think it's just because they want it to be a formula. They don't just want to say,

okay, everyone gets this. They want to be the priest that dispenses the salvation from on high. You have to test the means. I don't see, you know, what the problem is with this. Means testing always works. It's always very effectual. So specifically what they're doing is they're doing direct payments of 1,400 plus 600 that you already got equals 2,000. It's what we always promised for American adults who are earning less than I think $75,000 a year. It always goes down very well with voters when you say, no, technically, technically, you're getting what we promised to refer you to the most page that says that I was mostly fruitful about that. I love to vote for the monkey's poor party.

But also the top up in federal unemployment benefits aid to state and local governments and more importantly, an expansion of tax credits for children. So you're taking home $5,400. You could give people money, but what you're doing instead is like a highly bureaucratic sort of tweak, which like is going to take effect for the people that can do their taxes themselves or like have someone else do it prominently in fucking April, I guess. And like, look, the bill is full of tons of cracks. So for example, if you were making more than the amount of money last time you filed taxes, then sorry, it doesn't matter if you lost your job, you should have saved more of that

expectation of a global pandemic. All of that aside, it is actually giving quite a bit of money to quite a few people, like way more than you would expect, especially and way more than the last one, because this is a $1.9 trillion stimulus, which if you remember, Rahm Emanuel said to Barack Obama that voters would be scared by the T in trillion. So you should keep the stimulus in 2008 under a trillion, which is brilliant nudge shit. I love that. What a great administration. Scared by the T, baby. And then if you remember, right, it was that stimulus that like, or at least in my opinion, like laid the groundwork for how stupid the economy got. And so like, what's happening here is that the problem is, right, this is solving the problem in 2008,

which was people don't have enough money, but their problems in 2021 are now manifold and institutional. And there are problems of deep rot and such like this. Like the problem is, none of the institutions were maintained. Yeah. I think this also speaks again to a kind of- And of course, Medicare for all. Obviously. Obviously, a difference between, again, Britain and America, which is that once again, whilst America is in general far more of a neoliberal hellscape than Britain is, even though Britain is itself its own kind of neoliberal hellscape, this is one of the few times when like, generally speaking, I would say the support from the UK government

for coronavirus stuff has been much more adequate than the support in America, which has been basically nothing. But can you actually imagine the UK government writing everyone a check? Like, this would just never happen. Like, there would be so much opposition. Like, what? You give me my neighbor? Who's your fucking cunt? By the way, 1500 quid for what? For being a cunt? Well, that's the thing. It would make people so mad. There are a number of real particulars with this. Like, for example, the IRS, which doesn't have a lot of customer offices, is supposed to administer a lot of payments. Like, that doesn't make much sense. That means they're going to have to build out that capacity. But also in Britain, that's quite right, is that all of the furlough

payments are all just given to you by your boss. At no point does the government give you any money your boss is. And as much as the BBC likes to say that Rishi Sunak is like Dr. Manhattan, by giving him like a blue dick, they were like, yeah, it was always channeled through like grants to businesses, which boy, the UK is very comfortable giving. Cough, cough, mad Hancox. What's that? Business? If you start, you can't talk that way about business thinking that the government can do stuff. Soon you might want it to do other stuff, and we can't have that. Yeah. And the American government still does stuff. Most of it's bad stuff. But they said, whereas the British government just refuses to do anything. I think it all goes

back to your point before about like, stop expecting the Tories to govern. They hate it. Like, yeah, whereas the Democrats actually will govern. They'll just do it badly. You know, they'll, Democrats will govern themselves like in, they'll govern themselves on to the head of a pin thinking about like scholasticism or whatever. Yeah. But again, like, I think it's important not to be like stimulus associated with Democrats. It's all bad. There are elements of it that are good. It's better than nothing. The fact is, it is the way when I look at it, thinking about this in terms of the relationship between the 2008 stimulus and the economy, I see those problems being solved, which is the problem of the financial sock of people who have any money.

That's a later than never. Yeah. And also just politically speaking, like, what people are going to remember is that in total, Trump literally gave them more money than the Democrats. Like, they got $1,800 from Trump and $1,400 from the Democrats. Forgive me for being cynical about this. But Trump made it a priority to have his signature on the checks and Biden didn't. Oh, I have that actually here. And God, this is so, I think that like, the most annoying figure in American politics is White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki, who reiterated Biden's vow to send the direct payments to American families within the month, and then noted that unlike the two previous rounds of checks centered to the Trump administration,

the next round of payments would not include the president's signature. No one cares! We're actually putting Trump's signature on it as an own of him. I mean, look, say what you will, but the Trump signature is great. It's like, it is a really, it's a very extravagant sorting algorithm. It's sort of like if you took the Stuzzy signature or the Stuzzy logo and kind of like overlayed it on each other and then like kind of stretched out a bit, like you could feasibly take that signature and make it into like a pretty legit like short lived streetwear brand. I imagine that whenever Trump signs his name, he signs it like full A4 size and they have to like photoshop it down.

He just gets a pen in his fist. Well, there was that time when he like did a speech and like someone took a photo of him holding notes and like the writing was fucking massive. Yeah, because he, because when you write good thought, you want to put it in big writing. Also, because like he needs glasses, but he's too embarrassed to get them. So he can't fucking see. Yeah. Which again, is cool. I'm not, I don't need glasses. The stuff is too small, actually. Make it bigger, make it larger. Awesome. It's so tiny little things. Okay. Who can see that? No one. People tell you they can see it, but they can't actually, they can't. It's too small. So I'm making it bigger. Wait, he thinks that the fake, the failing New York Times

is failing because it's in too small print. The only reason, the only reason you try and see things that small would be if you had a small penis. Okay. I don't have that problem. I've got a pretty large penis. That's what people say. You can ask anyone. One of these other phrases that's burned into my brain is that Donald Trump Jr. was once asked on a, on like a shot, on a Howard Stern show, if he'd ever seen his dad's dick and who has the bigger dick. And he was like, huh, well, if I said, if I said me, I'd get fired. I'd get fired. My dad will fire me as his son. Yeah, I hate that. There are still these little bits of Trump ephemera, just float, like Trump family ephemera

that are just going to be. I miss him so fucking much, man. No, so people try and own us by saying like, oh, you guys just miss Trump. Like, yeah, we do. Unironically, why is that an own? He's hilarious president. Yeah, for sure. We're more than Taft. So the checks up sack. He said we'll be signed by a career official at the Bureau of Fiscal Service. This is not about buying. Yeah, it's about there's only so hard. I can get a career official. Tell me more. Yeah. So even still, the Democrats can't help but try to obscure their own role in like doing what people love. Party aparachics. Probably going to be a Republican, too. Yeah. God, what if it's what if it's signed by someone

who shares a name with Ted Bundy? Oh, no, I got my stimulus check from Bashar al-Assad. How did that get a job in the US Treasury being named Bashar al-Assad? Thank you, John Wayne Gacy for my check. So yeah, look, I sort of think of this right as the failure here was not just a failure of the financial side. It was a failure of a lot of stuff, but it was also a colossal failure of American institutions. And I don't see the level of institution building necessary to avert the next crisis in this. But I do see... Wait, there's going to be a next crisis? What? And I think the question that is on my mind is will the level of like just simple

money redistribution, just giving people who spend money money to spend, is that going to change the color and tenor of the economy? I'm still stuck on this. You're telling me that the crisis we're having right now, there's going to be another one? Sorry, Alice. No, there won't be. Don't tell her there's going to be. We're going to have to take Alice on a trip to the farm. So that's America in review. And that's just like what I'm sort of watching the stimulus for. Hey, Alice, you want to go fishing next week? I love that. But let me just let me just get one of my many fishing hats out and put all these metals on

it like hooks. Uncle Riley, why are you loading that shotgun? Just like weeping like no reason. They're best. She was too beautiful for this world. So anyway, that's kind of what I'm what I'm looking at and how the U.S. Kurt, the stimulus kind of fits into my grand theory of American stimulus is so we are watching with interest. Yeah, which is never. Surveillance fan outside Lex Green Sills. The American economy is about to be arrested by the Interpol financial crimes division. We're pointing one radar dish at Lex Green Sills estate,

another radar dish across the Atlantic of Washington. We are spinning the antenna. So I'm going to deploy a third radar dish though, and that's going to point down to Westminster of a little bit of UK in review. Hearing a lot of sounds of pedophilia. Sounds like some pedophile shit, but like on a more literal basis. But also wet slapping. British politics. Yeah, all of these things. British politics. Just a wretched cesspool as ever. So we've learned a little bit more of Joyce once said.

So we've learned a little bit more about what new Rupert Murdoch outfit GB news is going to be because Amal Rajan at the BBC interviewed Andrew Neil formally at the BBC currently of the spectator. There is nothing incestuous about this. No. And what really struck me about this is it's basically like it's Fox News essentially, that it's individual programs, mostly news-based built around like cornerstone presenters. Congratulations to Piers Morgan on his new job. Actually, Andrew Neil then went for a softball interview on Good Morning Britain without Piers Morgan, where he said, I think Piers would be a huge asset to that kind of news channel.

Man, I was losing my mind so much that there were like genuinely people being like, Piers Morgan by saying something racist has owned himself out of a £1.1 million a year salary. And it's like, how fucking stupid are you? Like, this is first of all, this is how he got that salary in the first fucking place. And second of all, this is how he's going to get the next job, which will be even more money. £1.2 million salary. Yeah. Like what is it? These people are so fucking stupid. No, no, no. We cancelled him. We cancelled him.

Council culture is real and it's our friend. Piers, you'll never work in this town again until next week, when you'll have a job for more money on a different channel. It's probably also worth noting that he still does have a job as a writer at the Daily Mail. Sorry. There's something that we keep forgetting. But yeah, he's like, yeah, he's still very much here. He's still very much around. I feel like he knows how to write.

So what you're saying is that he's a worker. That's right. I mean, I think that he deserves a great place on in the NUJ and the Daily Mail union. Piers Morgan sells his labor for a salary and therefore is working class. And it's our job to unionize him. So you might not like it, but this is what people's performance looks like. But the format of the headline show will include a monologue. So I like Conan O'Brien.

This is like the SNL monologue. He's just saying, getting like fucking... I love that. Get up on the Goldbergs. He's going to open up news. Get up on there and just be like, Shawadi Wadi's here. Now, then, now, then, now, then, you're watching GB news. It's going to be much closer to a more familiar kind of evil. Tucker Colson already does this.

He opens it with a monologue about what he thinks is currently wrong with America, which is, you know... You know what grinds my gears. And then it says they're going to have a startup segment, which I don't really... I don't have a catch on. Yeah, no one would ever listen to that. But no, what really struck me was that they're also going to have a segment called Woke Watch.

Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. It's just so infuriating. It's just... I mean, I think... Conan, welcome to news. Have you considered, and I'm waggling my eyebrows theatrically here, pronouns? I mean, it is just essentially, and their recent hires are proof of this.

Not just like, not for a not good friend of the show, Tom, not... Wait, am I allowed to say his name? Or should I just not? He does listen to me. So probably don't. I'd like to. I'll be a bit ambiguous then. Okay.

If you look at like their recent hires, all think... Durham energy individual. All things sort of indicate that what they've done is that they've looked at like YouTube channels, which all kind of are upset. Like, they all are basically their own version of Woke Watch in the sense of they talk about the same stuff. They interview the same people. It's always about the same things.

It's always about like, you know, meanies on campus and all that nonsense. And they've decided, okay, why don't we make a TV channel for this that's entirely dedicated to boomers who don't know how to open PDF, but would still get kind of mad and read about it? And why don't we support this TV show with car insurance ad, which is why it's going on free view? And so this is effective. They've taken a model that is inherently and algorithmically very,

very successful when they're trying to replay on television. It doesn't matter if it doesn't work, because I think there's a high chance that it won't. There's a lot of new TV channels. Think of Vice TV. I think there was another one as well. I have a prediction as to how this is going to work out, right? Which is that those YouTube views won't translate into TV views.

It's not going to be Fox News. It's not even going to be Sky News. But what it will do is create a new type of guy. Because every time a new sort of niche news channel opens up on free view, it creates a guy. Like you know an RT guy. Once RT started broadcasting on English, they started getting guys. And so now there's just a guy who thinks that Putin is anti-imperialist or whatever.

And to some extent, there's even like an Al Jazeera guy. And so now there's just going to be GB news guys. And it's going to be extremely irritating. Hi, it's me, Al Jazeera. Presenting Woke Watch with Al Jazeera. What's interesting is, who say you say about YouTube videos, Woke Watch was a segment on one of these Turning Point UK shows. Like Emily Hewardson's show that butted off Turning Point UK.

And funnily enough, one of the hosts of GB News was a Turning Point UK guy, right? So it all kind of comes full circle. But what they've basically done is just created, they've created like what Andrew Neal is trying to do, is to kind of like unite all these disparate YouTube channels, which again, like all talk about the same stuff, interview the same people, have the same type of like hysteria, like wokeness hysteria mixed with like ardent transphobia that they like, that they insist is just kind of,

you know, free speech and caring about women's sports all of a sudden. And Andrew Neal is the Genghis Khan of YouTube. Also, let me just say one thing, which is like Andrew Neal, like for all the kind of, and I was speaking to like a professional journalist about this the other day, which is that like he is just, he's like addicted to posting. He's like this guy who people like have known about his politics for a long time. They've known that he's like a pretty ardent kind of Tory. They've known about like his kind of like, you know, quite regressive social views.

But for a while he was sort of like an establishment BBC kind, you like sort of got to kind of play multiple sides on media, on the basis of like how and like develop like a kind of pseudo respectable character, right? And he could have like left it there. But because he's become so addicted to Twitter and like that addiction to Twitter like started when he was like, you know, learning just like, you know, refuting people online, who actually ironically like came mostly from the right. But as he spent more and more time on Twitter, like if you look at his Twitter account,

he'll respond to people with like 20 followers and like and threaten them with like live, like, you know, getting, you know, threatening them with like with legal action. But it is true. Andrew Neil has been radicalized online. We need to call prevent on Andrew Neil. I mean, yeah, I genuinely think he's been like, he's been radicalized into just like sort of what you might like has just fine by the tabloids is common sense Toryism. He's just really into it. Self-radicalization.

Yeah. Yeah. But this is a guy who like definitely, even though, you know, he spends like so much, like I imagine he spends so much of his time on Twitter. He spends so much of his time getting mad at like Tumblr drama from 2013, but like gets resurfaced. And he has enough money and enough like backers. Andrew Neil says put the porn back on Tumblr. Andrew Neil definitely knows.

There's been a lot of discrimination against the Ferdy community and I think it needs to start. I mean, Andrew Neil is essentially going. Kevin Bridges. But like, Andrew Neil definitely knows. Have you ever drawn a dick on a fox? You ever seen a fox come on the asshole of a big anthropomorphic ape? But the other thing is what woke watch is going to be basically is if you're a nurse and you want to go on strike or if you're in a university and you like want them to take down the big statue

of the slur that they have on campus is is then like Andrew Neil is like a statue of Nigel Baker and Andrew Neil has a has a has a TV channel where he's going to basically get like Piers Morgan to like publicly shade. It's just like it's a more refined version of the the Laura Koonsburg. This is him here, right? Like, yeah, this is absolutely. You have to I sort of look at this and I absolutely I don't just see an indoctrination, a right wing propaganda machine.

I also see an enforcement mechanism. It is a harassment mob, which is very funny as someone who's been accused of participating in and running those for the last 10 to 15 years to see one just out in the wild on free view is great. So I want to also talk about speaking of nurses going on strike is nurses are getting a 1% pay rise, which is a cut in real terms based on expected expectations of inflation from the Tories. And I should be glad of it. Yeah, you're welcome. Fucking scrounging nurses.

So, okay, can I briefly mention the Emily Hewittson post because she just she did this post where she was like anti work. Nurses need to read the room. They're grumbling about a 1% pay rise when millions have lost their livelihoods and the economy is in tatters. They should learn to be grateful. That's like, who do you think? You think the economy is?

Yeah. And also like they were they were paid absolute dog shit before and they're the ones who have done all of the shit while you've all been deliberately getting covid to own the libs. Like it's funny that you should bring off Emily Hewittson because when you use the Hubble telescope, you can actually see her brain expanding across the Andromeda galaxy. I used to be in the bad D-ring. I used to play keyboards in the bad D-ring, but now mostly I just observe the wonders of Emily Hewittson's brain.

I will need you after the recording to say the Brian Cox line after the recording because it's going to be sticking like a splinter in my mind until you do it. So Lord, Lord, the conservative peer Lord Bethel, praise the heroics of health in the pandemic. And it's been said that many people would envy the secure job of a nurse. Go and do it then! You fucking prick! He's busy being a lord. Many people would would envy the secure job of Lord.

Yeah. And Bethel also rejected the calls for the government to change the evidence that are given to the pay panel, which recommended a higher pay settlement saying affordability remained the key challenge, which is very funny that like all of these like that anyone in the right is saying this round after us if we give them a 5% pay rise because like most of what and again, this sort of applies to the American stimulus as well. Like Republicans are being like, oh, we're just going to give our our children the debt. You know, people like like Oren Cass, that fucking monster is going to come round and

repossess our Queen Anne shares. Yeah. Rick Scott, that human thumb is just like, oh, our children are going to be paying this off. And it's like, yeah, money's fake. We've all just come to that realization at this point. So Lord Bethel is kind of making the same the same point saying, right? Like, oh, sorry, we can't afford any of this. We can't afford to give the nurses any more money.

Again, as though when you pay nurses, the money just goes. It's gone. I should specify here, like this is very familiar to listeners, but just to set out, I'll still hear money is fake to governments. Money is not fake to nurses. That's right. And it's there is this sense right of we suddenly like that the taps of austerity have been turned off.

And again, this is something that we are going to put another up. Climbing the mountain of conflict there. I'm going to say austerity. I'm going to put another half in the TF was right column because it's looking increasingly as though what has happened is that austerity has ended, but it's been replaced by patronage and nurses are new. Yeah. Nurses are even to ride again and nurses and teachers and stuff are quite left wing.

They tend to be very heavily unionized, but and if you want to look at where most of the spending is going to local authorities towns, towns, towns, towns, towns. You look at it is I think of of everywhere sort of in the north, northeast of most of the money went to one Tory voting constituency or northwest excuse me, excuse me. Awesome. I was looking at a map of sort of the constituency surrounding Liverpool and there's one Tory voting one in the north and it got most of the money because it's the only one was a town. Yeah.

The rest of them are cities. This is urban and we know what urban means. Yeah. And so like really listen to drill music. And so it's that. And so like you're if you're in a union, if you're in a teacher or a nurse and you're in a union, then you're not really going to get much more money. If you are a Tory voting shire, then you're going to get lots of money spent on you.

If you're Matt Hancock's probably your Matt Hancock's friend who knows who know like procures a bunch of vials, then you're going to have a chummy WhatsApp conversation with him around him spending a bunch of money on you, whether personal or personally or politically. I don't mean to suggest that the guy who was supplying those vials was engaged in any kind of shenanigans, but I will note that the Guardian just published an article in which they say, yeah, it's weird. A bunch of fires have started in this guy's back garden, including one to which the fire brigade had to be called.

And when we went there, we found a bunch of like scattered burned test tubes, which he had been contracted to supply. But when he was asked about this, he said, yeah, no, it was, it was a mistaken burning of carpet underlay. He was making, he was making some fun, some, some, some fun decorations for gender reveals. And it went a little bit wrong. I was just having a controlled carpet underlay fire, as is my right. Under Magna Carta.

Yeah. If you don't like, it's in Latin. And what it says is carpet, carpet is under layers, burners in back gardeners. So that's my right. So fuck office. Yeah. Anyway. Office that fast.

Office that fast. Now, Naive. Tia, Min's advent. I'm not saying we're all the way there yet, but boy, does it look as though we were right. I do. I do like the idea of the TF was right hash marks. Like we're painting a little centrist columnist silhouette on the side of our bomber here. So Kier Starmer, when asked if you would support a strike by nurses who want 12%

said that that go high said that the Tories should give them their promise 2.1% and that nurses should not go on strike. And in the manifesto, it was five, right? Yep. Oh, yeah. So because basically the Kier Starmer said, Milo sir, can you repeat this in the Kier Starmer voice, please? Which is that the Tories promise, we're going to hold the Tories to their promise

of a 2.1% rise for nurses and anything less is insulting. We're going to hold the Tories to their promise of a 2.1% pay rise for nurses, because anything less is insulting. But as the opposition, what we must not do is hold the Tories to our promise of a 5% pay rise for nurses, because we have to respect that they are the rightful government of this country. Well, effectively, that's more or less what they said, which is that they didn't- What was Jeremy Corbyn going to fund a 5% pay rise out of?

Antisemitism. Jam sales. Yeah. Anyway, don't look at what we paid for testing trace. Oh boy, don't look at that. And if you don't want to have a stroke, I would advise you to not look at that. And the thing is, when asked why, but actually grilled by someone on ITV, I think,

why they weren't going with their own manifesto promise of supporting a very, very, very popular double-digit pay rise for nurses. Popularity in the fucking 80s, incredibly popular. And also, nurses are paid like nothing, like increasing their pay by 5%. Wouldn't even cost that much, because we pay them less than nurses are paid in almost anywhere else in the developed world. But what Angela Reiner said was, well, the voters told us no. And so, what Kira and I are going to do is we are going to have a listening session

and then tell everyone. So, this is another like the marketing agency that we hired told us that voters in the red war, who like, not even the votes in the red war, but like the kind of the working-class landlords in the red war wouldn't want to see nurses get a pay rise. Well, it's the thing of, we're going back to the right answer, which we had in 2014, as opposed to the wrong answers, which we've been doing, because there is a kind of common, there is a kind of common-sense politics that mustn't ever be interrogated, which is that you should keep the numbers small.

And anything you think is right, you should do about a quarter of it. Even if you think it, I don't even go what they think, fucking hell. We've employed Dave Courtney's Focus Group and Debt Collection, LLC, to tell us what voters think. It says, I don't think nurses want to go on strike. Certainly none of them that I've been talking to. No, they want a pay rise. Do you understand what a strike is?

It's not, people don't go on strike because it's fun. They go on to strike to get the thing that they're on strike about. It's not a laugh. It's not a spring break. That's not why they did. Wait, what the fuck are you all talking about? I was wondering when you'd turn purple like a blueberry. Going the color of the people in that Focus Group.

Anyway, so it is just very, it is interesting to see, once again, the wrong lessons being learned, which is that, again, from the position of not really effectively fighting austerity, the Labour Party still thinks it's fighting austerity, but it's not even fighting austerity. It's fighting patronage, which is different. And even then, they've put themselves in a position, where by only asking for what the government promised previously,

the government could say, actually, we've listened to some nurses, we're going to do 2.5%. We're going to do even better than Labour said. Successful opposition. And it only cost them 0.4%. That's it. You have once again allowed yourself to be trivially easily outmaneuvered.

Should that be what the Tories choose to do? I think that the government is tired of an opposition that doesn't allow itself to be repeatedly owned by the government. And I think at the end of the day, what we need to do is hold apart our cheeks and say, own us, because that is what will earn the trust of the public at the next election. I mean, more or less, that's kind of the... Your imitation of Starmer and Starmer are really coalescing on a point here.

He doesn't even sound like the fuck-off drop anymore. Fuck-off. Fuck-off. Can you imagine the kiest armor of today telling people to fuck-off? I can't. Speaking of phone-ly. Speaking of fucking-off, shall we fuck-off? Yeah, off we fuck.

Off, off we fuck. Off, off we fuck, you name. Yeah. Anyway, this has been Trash Future. It has been, as ever, a real delight to be talking to you today. Don't forget, we have a Patreon. It is five bucks American a month, which you can use your stimulus or your child tax credit to purchase.

Do not purchase it with your child tax credit. Yeah, you should buy Patreon instead of putting on the heat in your home, feeding your kids. Educate your child by getting them a TF subscription. That's right. If you're Angela Rainer and you're thinking of having a listening session, how about subscribing to the TF Patreon? Do you have a TF listening session? I'll give you some fucking advice.

And also... That's funny, I've got your advice right here. This is a list of points that how the labor party can improve. It's his own 10 fucking pledges. And we also are going to have on the bonus next week... Bonus. We are going to have Aaron from A Time of Monsters and the Trilobillies, and we're going to be talking all about the British monarchy and racism,

and the American aristocracy, and all that good stuff. So do check that out. Otherwise, I think that's all for us folks. And just to remind you to listen to the bottleman, listen to masters of our domain, listen to while there's a problem, listen to the bottleman class. Yeah, absolutely. Listen to what a hell of a way to die.

Listen to 10k posts. I think that's all. Phoebe asked me if I wanted to start a podcast with her the other day. Good Lord. Don't worry, I'm not doing it. Good sweet fuck. I would love to do a podcast with her, but I already have two, and that's the maximum number I can do.

All right. And officially, I also have two. All right. Later, everybody. Bye. Bye.