TRASHFUTURE - Humpty Dumpty Politics ft. Owen Jones

Episode Date: February 15, 2018

It's a TRASHFUTURE half-i-sode spooktacular. Journalist Owen Jones (@OwenJones84) comes through the bougie hackney flat to join Riley (@raaleh), Hussein (@HKesvani), Milo (@Milo_Edwards) and Reel Politik's Laura (@thisgeordielass) filling in, to shoot the shit and talk about Theresa May's weird "defeat socialism" speech. Follow our dumb asses on twitter @trashfuturepod Buy Riley a tracksuit (it's his pinned tweet) xoxo Riley

Anyway, if, if like podcasters were the new rock stars, what band would the new statesman podcast be? The traveling Wilburies. No, Mumford and Sons. I think we'd be like the corn of the podcast. No, you guys are thin, Lizzie. Oh, of course I'm thin, Lizzie, voice back in town, yeah. What the hell? What the fuck, Mumford?

I fucking know your podcast better than you know your podcast. Shit. I don't listen to real poetry. Oh, I don't listen to this. I think like Owens and Ellie Mays would be like a wholesome like iron and wine. They'd be like Belle and Sebastian. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.

So, how'd you know that? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. They'd be like Belle and Sebastian. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. So, how'd you know that wine? You get your local coffee. It's always like 799 vaguely drinkable when you're drunk.

Well, you know what it is, it's iron, brew and wine. Not the Merlot that you get on Trash Future, which we now have to say is provided by the George Soros Foundation. We'd like to thank our large adult father for providing us with snacks. And our large adult son for providing us with excellent shirts are perfect for both the boardroom and the yacht. I'm so, I'm so glad that we have this really sweet kosher wine. And George Soros has given us, it's enriched with a lot of soy, of course.

So, I'm getting giant gazangas. So, we're looking forward to next week's Telegraph exclusive from friend of the show, Nick. Nick Timothy. Nick Timothy, who looks like the evil human who terrorizes a heroic gang of cartoon mice. Yo, I'll credit to PRH Roy on that one. History of it, he's just now his mates going, he's not empty so much. He loves Jews. That's what it is now.

That's history of it. That's basically what Dan did. I mean, he's just like us whenever we get ratioed. We've got to like justify why we should still be online. Basically, Nick Cohen did the Baby Cakes tweet. Some of my best friends are hearts. Nick Timothy did the Baby Cakes tweet. Whatever, there's no difference.

I'd like to pin it on him. So, I can't wait for the story next week, which we'll say that George Soros is actually funding a string of podcasts designed to take down Brexit. And men who, and then like the resistance to that will be like men who collectively gang up and call themselves gammon. But gammon will be like a militia. Well, gammon is a racist term, apparently. Oh, it's a slur.

It's a slur. People put the mazharb article in hook, right? So, he's actually mazharb cousin who, I think he's one of the pioneers of the, not the point of the pioneers of the gammon phenomenon, but he used it a few times. And then he got accused of inflammatory racist rhetoric against middle-aged white men. Yeah. The world, the most well-known marginalised sectionalised group.

So, he was that people were like, this is racism on a grand scale. He wrote a piece for Hook Magazine. At times like this, I feel like we have to turn to the Bible, where it clearly states that man cannot serve both God and gammon. So, yeah, in the discourse, gammon is a slur. No, it's gammon. Gammon is definitely a slur, but gammon is a slur is now also a slur. Right.

Against the left. Everything's a slur now. All English is just a Swiss army slur. It's political correctness gone mad. For me. If, if, if trash FuturePod were a, a Swiss army knife, I would be the bit that gets the stones out of horses hooves. I'd be like the tin opener that doesn't actually work,

but you just have to include it. Which is, you know, I guess my position as the only minority on this show. Well, yeah, I mean, the only tins I open are tins of brain force plus. So that's the, that's the, that is in the, in the left podcasting verse, that is definitely a very us sentence. I can't lie to my eyes and I'm choking on this fine saucy Sampage. Whatever I'm leaning into it. I'm not middle class.

We love that. Just if we are normal socialists, we're a Sheryl Sandberg appreciation show. And we're always leaning in usually when we're peeing, because now we're related to Andy Sandberg. I can't wait. I can't wait for Sheryl. Sheryl Sandberg's new collaboration with SoundCloud rapper, Young Lean, produce Young Lean in.

So, you know, do you know on her, the very famous good news website? We'll read it. They, they only upload their podcasts onto SoundCloud, which got me thinking, do they technically classify a SoundCloud rappers? Yes. So wait, Tim, Tim Montgomery is going to do a rebrand where he's got like, instead of having like that Arabic tea after his name, it's just going to have like a picture of himself with like pink dreadlocks.

He's going to like insert numbers into his name, like Takeshi 69. He's going to be holding a giant garbage bag of weed. They're going to release their podcast onto YouTube. Now he only mumbles. But they're going to release their podcast onto YouTube, but the video will just be that girls like, you know, in those anime, start those like chill hip hop. So it'll be that, but like the background will just be unheard podcast from Giles Fraser.

No, it's, it's, it's girls twerking while they share their bad opinions. Actually, maybe, maybe, maybe university students are the real racist, or I can't hear you over your ass clapping. Oh, yes. The good podcast, which has gotten. How do you make your right wing opinions credible to the youth? You need thick AF girls. Right side of thick opinions.

Yo, shall we start the show? Do you have, do you have to? Yes. Like I said, we never do have to, but we are going to. Yeah. I mean, I'm literally here to go to the pub with Abby and I'm not in the pub with Abby. This is, this is, this is, this is what I, this is what I think whenever.

I'm, I'm on the bus on the way to your house. It's just like, why? It's just all I think, all I think, why am I doing this? Well, you know, the life debt. Anyway, so I'm going to just take this opportunity to say welcome to trash future, the podcast about how the future, if we do not implement fully automated luxury, gay, space communism will be trash. Who am I joined by on my left?

Well, I've changed my name to tough on Gammon, tough on the causes of Gammon. I'm the artist formerly known as Owen, but now you've got to refer to me all the way through it in full as tough on Gammon, tough on the causes of Gammon. Over to you. Well, I'm just Laura. Where do we know you from? Just Laura. Just Laura, you might know me from being fired from every job I've ever had.

You might know me from making piss jokes on the internet. You might know me from being ratioed every single day of my life into the ground. Over a piss joke. Are they all are they all related? Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah. Okay. You might know me from ratioed over piss.

You might know me from posting corncop dildo memes or Minion sex. You might know me as the Minion porn girl. But I'm just Laura here from RealPolitik. Here to just bring the tone of the show down just a little bit. It was too elevated. I bring it down, but I also bring it left. You're like everything that Paul, Joseph Watson is scared of about feminism in one person.

Basically, yeah. All feminists just want to kill men. No, no, no. No, no. I've got something much better in mind. DM me for Minion porn. I actually will do that. Sorry, carry on.

Sorry. We'll do that after. No, Minion. Very few people know this, but all pictures of Minions are actually pornographic because all Minions entire bodies are genitals. This is not widely known. Paul Joseph Watson actually only accepts porn

that involves 19th century chimney sweeps because he is Dick Van Dyke. I froze enough. It's like I'm Eminem and Eight Mile in the beginning scene. Instead of rapping, you just have to say your name. There's vomit on his body pillow already. Not milk. Hi.

My name is Hussain. I am on Matt Hancock. I'm known as Paul in underscore respect to 69. It's the audio social network where I will accept requests for dates. No, man. I've actually have three hookups off the app. Have any of them been with Matt Hancock? I'm going to consult lawyers before I enter that one.

Does Matt actually have to approve them before? No, he has to watch them. It's a really weird contract. Add to sign. I mean, you really have to read the terms and conditions, don't you? Do you read the small print before you apparently contractually agree on an app by a Tory minister to have sex with James B. Moffitt? I mean, look, when I say niche, but I don't know what accessorize.

Like what data accessorize have on me. But I'm very excited to find out if all my hookups are to dress up in a Margaret Thatcher mask, which is I've heard that if you fuck off of the Matt Hancock app, he gets prima nocta. This is a dumb joke. What the fuck? I'm leaving. What the fuck is going on? Slept wing politics.

Excuse to you. This is an even worse experience than all of those hookups, which is a lot of Hancock sitting in the corner, smoking a cigarette, occasionally illuminating his own face with the Jerry Matt Hancock may have started a social network, but I think Baroness Mone has truly leaned into the digital age in the most ignorant way possible by doing a cryptocurrency offering. Oh, yeah, that was fucking amazing. It paralyzes me how incredibly how incredibly inept our entire political class is

with a couple of exceptions, a couple of key and absolute exceptions. Cryptocurrency is equivalent of pixel. We all don't know. Walked over the pole, but a few team had in launched a cryptocurrency. Woke up the next day. Oh, trending. What's happened there, then? I think the hilarious thing is that she launched it like mid crash.

Mid crash. She launched it. It was like, wow, Bitcoin was reaching sort of terminal velocity going down from like stupid to still stupid. Baroness Mone was like, now's my chance. I'm going to strike while this iron is cooling. Okay, shall we shall we talk about about Theresa May? We've not we've not done me yet.

It's the phone in the glass. Milo Edwards in the ball. Who are you? How many have got Milo Yaponopolis on this? It's real. Sorry. Yeah, it's it's me, former advisor to the Trump administration, Steve Gammon, coming at you live from Hawaii, enjoying my retirement.

No, yes, it's me, Milo Edwards. I'm actually not on Matt Hancock MP, but I only do dates through LinkedIn. What I will do is I will endorse you for being thick AF. And then if you endorse me back for being cool and nice, then we can hang out. Those are the rules. Take it or leave it. Love to go Dutch using the blockchain. You guys want to talk about Theresa May?

Yeah, why not? What about her? Who you got? Yeah, I know your country who does. Also slang for MDMA. Well, Theresa May had a little party of her own, as a matter of fact. Which is not a good way to describe our government. It's it's it's a very solemn, serious thing.

You shouldn't make fun of it. They're doing fat lines of care. Is that a remix? Doing fat lines of sovereignty. Off of an iPhone screen that has the Matt Hancock MP app open. No, I love texting the Ket dealer on the Matt Hancock MP and paying him in moan coin. Endorsing him for drug dealing in LinkedIn. Yo, so the Conservative Party's annual black and white ball was relatively recently.

And a very lavish 15,000 pounded table event. And Theresa May. I mean, I didn't go. Theresa May. Yeah, sure you didn't. Obviously. Get Milo. Of course you didn't go.

Where's my invite, Matt Hancock? Keep posting on his wall. I post so many great so much great minion porn on his wall. And he's never invited me to the black and white ball. You know, so so many great Ramona memes. Theresa May made a very I think worth commenting upon speech at the black and white ball. Shall we comment upon it? Well, she's launched an all out wall to the death against the socialist hordes.

She seems to think that it's like a zombie film. And these socialist zombie hordes are going to go in and eat all the Tory children. Eat all the capital. No, it's just actually a bunch of people. Caholing off of drugs they bought on Matt Hancock during very bad hook up. So it's like a test of ID in graphic detail. Theresa May has officially declared war on socialism, which I guess is different from before where you have to declare war on socialism.

I mean, it's not a pretty list, is it? Yeah, we're going to go through that list. It's it's gruesome, but sure, we can. A lot of people, a lot of people friend of the show, Pinochet. It's not really the first time that like the, you know, the Tory government have like aligned themselves with Al Qaeda. So are they literally going to trade? So basically we we've we've got a plan, which we're going to just off from the 1980s

from Afghanistan. What we're going to do is run a funnel funds through the Secret Services of Pakistan. And that's now going to go to Turning Point USA. I'm literally waiting for the conservatives to lose another three seats in the coalition for the with the DUP, isn't enough? So they have to actually bring in Al Qaeda to have enough seats in Poland. All I'd ask, I'm going to ask Theresa May, in the 1980s, you RMG had these to to take out celtoscopes, socialists.

Is this is this your plan? Because you literally that's what you did in the 80s. So I mean, come on. Maybe it was like one of the guys from Activate went on a gap here. It's like I met these guys in a cave and they were like suspended from the conservative party. The youth guy. What's his name?

I would say you said you got suspended. I mean, Laura, you got suspended from the conservative party fair. Laura, there are grounds. I would say they probably could chase me on that. I mean, some of your comments have departed from basic Tory values, I'd say. In a some of them. Well, I'm just, you know, just I mean, I fucking love Activate. Activate is the is the best parody account online.

Are they also aware how much that sounds like one of those like mixed juice products wasn't it's great for bones and teeth. So some of the some of the things Theresa May has said in her in her quest to defeat socialism, the world needs a strong and confident Britain offering leadership and advocating for our values. Wait, is she resigning? She must know that it's a shit show. Surely like you can't look at your like she have no self-awareness at all of what she's

saying is like her government is like the equivalent of like 14 headless chickens trying to fuck a doorknob and she's standing there going like the world needs a strong and confident government. It's like join the dots, Theresa. Well, I think it's it's like the last time there was a strong, powerful, forceful internationalist Britain that was willing to extend its values to other people. I kind of gave us the Mao Mao. Well, no.

If anything, it removed the Mao Mao. I mean, that was the problem. It's like a QAP to electric Boogaloo, which I mean, I can't believe nobody edited this speech because it is essentially just you know, my favorite drill tweets is pointing is firing an entire magazine of an AR 15 into my own foot and leg with 100% accuracy. Okay, here's what I think happened. One of 82. Drill should really stop plagiarizing Hillary Clinton's books.

No, don't you remember Drill Got Darks? It was Hillary Clinton. Yeah. I mean, I don't I don't have a problem with like an influential Britain as long as it's not run by cunts and therein lies the rub in this case. I think they've just full on Truman showed Theresa May being held hostage in her own like little reality show world where everything she sees is is created by Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mock and is some sort of weird farcical satire.

She doesn't know what's going on in the normal world. She thinks like this is fine. She thinks this is great and applicable and funny and witty and all of these things because she has no idea that just the country is like burning around her. She doesn't have to see that outside of the dome that they built around it. Do you reckon they decide what they're going to say by playing a sort of Victorian part? Like pin the bizarre sentiment on the hell. Is it like that film was like it's quite a famous film, but obviously I don't know its name

because all I watch is Evangelion reruns obviously where they convince like a grandma who was in a coma about like she still lived in Soviet Russia. Well, no, she lived in. Oh, goodbye Lenin. Yes, that's it. And they said to her that's the thing they've said. She doesn't think she's prime minister. No, this is just like this was like a birthday kind of treat that you know,

like imagine you were prime minister and she's just got along with it and got this. No, no, maybe Theresa May is a maker wish kid. I think the more likely scenario is that we're all dying of one of those tropical diseases that makes you have really insane hallucinations before you die. I've got one more theory, which is that just like the Pokemon series where Ash is in a coma and therefore just imagines all the Pokemon. Ash is in a coma. Yeah, which is which is canon.

Like he's in he's in a coma and all the Pokemon represent his anxieties and depression. I feel that this is like what British politics is for all of us right now, just collectively. We're all sharing a dream. Yeah. Actually, I recognize the Digimon universe. JJ Abrams give me a call. So I'm going, I'm going to continue through Theresa May, the dark woods of Theresa May's speech here. Also, I'm going to edit this bit out, but everybody say hi to Chris.

Chris, this is Owen and Laura. And, you know, hello, and my was the ball. Can we keep that in the recording? Jeremy Corbin, she says, and the Labour Party are cynically exploiting populist politics. I mean, they are enemies of the people, aren't they? You can almost say you can almost say they are. It's a good job. Theresa May would never do that.

Yeah. And what do they offer? She goes on to ask. What what does the Labour Party offer? Free hand nationalization without compensation, printing money. But who are the hard left? Marginal is my question. Chris, who are the hard left?

Marginalizing moderate voices within the party. So this is real politic now. I did it. I did it, guys. Laura. Laura did entryism on trash future. And now it's real politic. And what do they offer?

She says massive renationalization, capital flight, a run on the pound, which all leads to a bankrupt Britain. It is is capital flight. How like people in the 1930s would describe good flight. That's capital flight because miss. OK, no one like that joke. That's fine. We'll move on.

I just I just can imagine they've been a run on the pound over the last 18 months. They'd be catastrophic. It would be scary. I know it would be really scary if the pound had slumped massively in value. It would be Theresa May. Yeah, which it hasn't done at all. It's been fine. So that's fine.

Yeah, there's been no sump in the bound at all. How else can you afford coattails? And also the whole privatization and re-franchisation thing has gone really well, like especially for like Virgin East Coast, you know, the whole agreement with stagecoats. The pound is some so badly. I've had to go to the mad Hancock app to to start using crypto currencies. I've got a new Theresa May theory. She's like the guy from Memento and she doesn't actually remember any of these things.

And she has to like get little Polaroids out of her pockets to like remember the things that she has actually done and she's lost them all. And now she's like everything's fine. What I always love about this canard is that sort of it implies that, you know, if we fund the if we tax it to raise taxes enough to fund the NHS properly, then society just kind of falls apart. And the and the reason that it will fall apart is because people like the candy brothers or like Richard Branson will move to the British Virgin Islands,

which definitely hasn't, you know, already happened. And it's like, what are they going to do? They used to be called the British Islands. It will be really sad if like big corporations like Starbucks and Amazon and Google like stopped paying tax because the tax rates here were too high. But that would be a massive miss to our economy, I think. But what about all the great jobs that they offer everyone in Britain, right? Like Amazon has wonderful jobs and you get a free bracelet

that punishes you for reaching the wrong way. Like it's a bracelet that helps you be a better person. Deliveroo jackets are now like official streetwear among the grime people. So that's that's always a that's always a benefit. It's just I don't I don't get why the Tories think that everybody's desperate to have Amazon and fucking like, you know, someone like some like Russian dude who's, you know, God is fortunate by, you know, machine gunning a number of Kazakhs or whatever. I don't understand why the Tories think everyone's so keen to have all these rich people here

taking more houses than they can live in. Hey, I can free yourself. I want Jeff Bezos to chain me to his bed. Wait, do not really joke. Jeff Bezos is snack, but specifically a boiled egg. Jeff Bezos, a high protein gym snack. Jeffrey kisses. That's a returning favorite.

Theresa May concludes, that's why as conservatives, we are on a renewed mission to fight and win the battle of ideas and to defeat socialism. Battle of ideas, baby. Theresa May is becoming a YouTuber as we have defeated it before. Famously. Yeah. Anyone got any ideas as to why that's utter claptrap?

I mean, everybody knows when you defeat stuff, it just it just keeps happening in the background. That's really what defeat means. Famously, the men of the Torup or a cave. Retreat it back like a Godzilla franchise movie. God, what do you even say to that? It's so weird that they would propose a battle of ideas when they have no ideas. Like it's like literally the worst kind of battle for them to propose. Okay, so something I did sort of pick up was, you know, it was like the battle of ideas stuff,

right? It's kind of taking language from like all these like fucking alt-right YouTube. Jordan Peterson. This is a Jordan Peterson. Well, not even Jordan Peterson, but just like idiots like Dave Rubin and like that guy who lived that fat guy lives in Swindon. Oh, he did an n-bomb in a heated gaming moment recently. Oh, no.

Oh, does that mean he's not woke anymore? R.I.P. R.I.P. Sargon of a cat pouring out from a boys' shit at the river. Pouring out exactly one glass of coconut water for my boys. Sargon of a cat. Soymilk. Yet a Sargon. Yet another yet another brave soldier lost to a heated gaming moment.

These are all guys who are just like, you know, battle of ideas. We debate people with logic and we pretend to be Mesopotamian kings online. And that's normal and fine. But ultimately it shows like a complete like fucking lack of anything. And this is sort of like thinking back to just like what the Tory strategy is, which is effectively like nothing. It's kind of like, I think they're gambit. It's like, why don't you just like things the way they are?

Why are you being mean to us? What's wrong with the status quo? It works for us. Have I not done enough? Do you not like your like four gig economy jobs? Renting's fun. Sometimes you can have a really nice landlord. Wait, wait, they're Tony Soprano.

It's, hey, be nice to your mother. She doesn't love you. No, she thinks she's Tony Soprano and we're Christopher. And we like need to be broad in line so we can like do well for the family. Can you like put it in an Evangelion reference? Because it like means nothing to me right now. Uh, okay. Okay. Hang on.

Hang on. The British population like the British. And she's Misato Katsuragi. Oh, okay. So I was going to say Theresa May was like evil one. No, that's more of an impreg thing. Okay. Maybe four.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's more Theresa May, four fetish. This is for like one of our fans. The reason we put in those references is so that like the right wing spies give up on listening to the podcast before they can dox us. I mean, it's sort of true. Like if like Guido Fawkes ever wrote about us,

it was like we tried to listen for like 10 minutes of it. And all we heard was jokes about piss and something called Neon Genesis, Evangeli. People talking about how our logo is animated. And then Tim Montgomery will be forced to watch the entire Evangelion series to try to understand what we're talking about. And then it will end up as part of like British political discourse, which is really what my aim since I joined the show was. Discourse, discourse, discourse.

Hussain, how does that align with the ISIS agenda? ISIS is now finished. Like, you know, no, they're not cool anymore. Everyone's like getting in. Oh, what? I have to throw away all my merch. Everyone's getting back into like the Camaroos again. One of the things that I think is really telling about Theresa May's speech

is that she just sees like politics as high school debate club, where it's this battle of ideas. It's not about power. It's not about resources. And the fact that she thinks that the conservatives have ever truly defeated socialism before is fucking ludicrous. Because the fact is that Britain has the NHS, basic workers rights, not great, but basic, paid time off in the fucking weekend.

Like the way they see it, for them, it's like Terminator 2. And at the end, you know, the T1000, have you seen Terminator 2? Is that the sexy robot? No, the sexy robot who turns into silver liquid. The melty robot. Oh, shit! The melty one. He just melts one.

And what happens at the end? And then like obliterates it. And then it just goes into tiny little pieces. And you're like, well, the T1000 is fucked. Look at it. It's in these tiny little silver jobs. And those pieces scream to all the hard parts. And you're like, that's the end of the film.

Amazing! He dies. And then some fire breaks out. And then all the little things come back together again. And he's back with a vengeance. And that is basically how they see it. They're like, we kick the shit out of them. They're absolutely like, look at them.

They're embarrassing. We actually kind of feel sorry for them. They're kind of like pets. We occasionally kind of, you know, we can go, oh, they're sweet, aren't they? Look at them. They're just, they really, they really believe in that. Absolutely gibberish.

And then they're back with a vengeance. So they're just like, for fuck's sake. And that's what's happened. So basically, Tori... He's Terminator 2 for them. So basically, sense without... We've got to change the ending of that because otherwise we'll get incinerated.

Tori's don't watch sequels to any film. Smash that. Smash that cheers button. Yeah, Tori's don't watch sequels. And they've never heard the story of Humpty Dumpty. You're the only, the only film. If only they'd listened to that, that the old parable of Humpty Dumpty.

Maybe they wouldn't be in this mess. And they were too busy reading Milton Friedman and Hyatt that they neglected the most important consequential political time of our time, Humpty Dumpty. And low have they, they've suffered the consequences. I'd like to say about Humpty Dumpty is a slur. The thing about Humpty Dumpty is that, yes, all the King's horses and all the King's men,

when they did put Humpty back together again, he started Amazon and now he's the richest man in the world. That's a real inspiration story. With a content, hardworking workforce. Well, the weird thing is, right, is that everyone, everyone thinks of Humpty Dumpty as being an egg because of the cartoon. But actually in the poem,

there's nothing to suggest that he is an egg. It's just something that was assumed once by an illustrator. Oh my God. I don't know if Humpty Dumpty could be anything. Humpty Dumpty is a fucking egg. So the Tories aren't the only ones who have failed to closely learn the lessons of Humpty Dumpty.

The left of also. So we'll ought to blame. Humpty Dumpty is the basis of modern political strategy. Humpty Dumpty is basically capital volume three. Nobody's fucking read it. Everyone pretends they have. Nobody knows what's actually said in it. We just assume from the pictures.

We've learned now that the secrets of modern politics is he who understands all that. They who understand the lessons of Humpty Dumpty are destined to rule. And now this podcast of all things on a Friday night or somewhere random off the canal in Hackney has cracked the secrets of modern politics. Theresa May, you are going to reap a whirlwind

after this. Well done. No, it's like the right has Steve Bannon, dark Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, master of war. And the left has Humpty fucking Dumpty. By unknown and unknown it turns out. Are the Machiavelli of, you know. And indeed by unknown and unknowable Cthulhu style.

But what really the thing that really strikes me about this, you know, like socialism gave us the weekend. It gave us the eight hour workday. It gave us not having child labor. If Theresa May really wants to defeat socialism, she's going to have to end all of that. Like she's just going to have to be on dissolving the NHS. She's going to have to make it legal for like

our bosses to harvest our organs. Theresa May is actually going to put us all to work in five years. And Theresa May, she can't end the weekend because then when would she take her cat? Well, don't confuse Theresa May and Katie Hopkins. She's not my handcuffs up anyway. So how is that? Katie Hopkins.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You saw this, right? Katie Hopkins. Yeah. Katie. Katie Hopkins. Katie Casey. Katie. Famous friend of the show.

Katie Spaghetti on the streets of South Africa. Katie Hopkins took a bunch of cats in South Africa and then had a heated gaming moment. So apparently, no, like to be fair, like, so apparently she collapsed or something and she's been treated with cat. She fucked her shoulder and Catamin is like used as an emergency sedative painkiller. Yeah.

Well, that won't stop us. It's actually less fun. But ignoring the real facts because they make the story less fun, Katie Hopkins did it. That's less fun in Africa. Much like the real Humpty Dumpty story. It's less fun. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty went into a k-haul. The story there is just someone we don't like very much took care of her medicinal reasons and it backfired. That's kind of annoying. But yeah, that's that's that's all that happened. I mean, she did not. She did it. She did incite racial hatred.

Yeah. I mean, her crimes are. Have that passport taken over twice. Here's the thing. You can't like say, oh, sorry, it's prescription inciting racial hatred. When I say we don't like it, it's not like I did it in a kind of like, oh, what is she like?

No, she's a Nazi. She's I think for me, she falls into that category of people who are just so fucking embarrassing that you can't even hate them. It's just like you're just such a moron. Like why do you exactly like Trump is the same? Like people who get really angry at Trump. I'm like, but he's just such a fucking idiot.

It's like difficult to like really muster up the necessary bile to really hate him because he just I just feel like every morning everyone has to like sing him the pancake song to make him gov bet. I mean, that's what like I demand of all, you know, my sons when I wake up. So I mean, it's any, any sort of they all come in wearing their Hawaiian shirt. So it's actually just like Nick, like a nude Nick Ferrari who like I'm rooming with at the moment.

He did a bad one today. Nick Ferrari with a bad take. Nick, Nick, Nick Ferrari was saying about cuts local councils. He was saying they deserve to be cut, you know, because they've reduced my garbage pickup. They've closed local pools. They've closed the libraries. My council has less and less for me.

Take the money from them. Brain gene logic that makes sense by Nick Ferrari brain. I can't believe anyone listens to the show. It's funny that under the under communism, like really lots of dogs made it into space before any billionaires did under capitalism. And I think that's what really annoys them. That's it and the show.

That's it. That's the best joke. We're done. We're done. We're not gonna say anything funnier than this, ladies and gentlemen. Once you get owned by rink of the dog, but that is indeed what has happened. Oh, shit.

Belco and Strahl could just shit on the coke brothers. I was just sort of imagining that, like at some point white Coke is going to go into space. He's going to have a giant floral space suit for a fat guy. A space yacht. I really love it's got sales. I really love creating the clothes and the space merch. And like his space costume will be like the folks.

So the big, what's happened? The big Coke fail son who like designs the worst shirts. I'm just going to show you this. Okay. Okay. Amazing though. I'm ready. Amazing.

We can make. So yeah, it's like one of the dumbest things. It's not the dumbest thing by long shot, but it is one of the dumbest things. But I just, we're just looking at why in Graham, I am going to, we're going to show Owen this video. Thank you, Owen, for coming on. And thank you to Laura for coming on also.

You can invite me again. I love the show. And you know, I think I've got that show. Yeah. Thanks for listening to another great episode of Pod Save America.