TRASHFUTURE - “It Just Means ‘Ignorant Person’” feat. Alex Kealy

Episode Date: March 5, 2019

Friends, we at the Trashfuture podcast do not in any way want our jokes to become real. We don’t want Elon Musk to control the internet with a submarine like the Sons of Liberty in Metal Gear Solid 2. We don’t want Matt Hancock to parkour his way into our phones with a mandatory app. But we always knew in our hearts that the essence of conservatism is “why can’t I say the n-word.” And that latter item happened this week, as certified normal person and author Lionel Shriver wrote exactly that in the Spectator. As is to be expected, Nate (@inthesedeserts), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Olga (@rocknrolga ), and Alex Kealy @alexkealy perform a deep dive on Lionel’s own words. Shocker: they’re insane! Riley is not on this episode. He was busy skiing and handed the keys to the purple Trashfuture Lamborghini to the rest of us. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next. Please bear in mind that your favourite moron lads have a Patreon now. You too can support us here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture/overview — and if you do, you’ll gain access to our Discord server, where you can talk about soup with us all day. *COMEDY KLAXON*: On March 13 at 8pm, Milo will host another Smoke Comedy at the Sekforde (34 Sekforde Street London EC1R 0HA). This show costs £5 and will feature all new material from Tania Edwards, Chloe Petts, Dimitri Bakanov, and Raph Wakefield. Get tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/smoke-comedy-with-tania-edwards-tickets-56285827425 Also: you can commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from http://www.lilcomrade.com/, and what’s more, it’s mandatory if you want to be taken seriously. Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

In the dream, I'm a time traveler, obviously. So I time travel back to the houses of parliament. I mean, the houses of parliament are still around, but to those of the past. And so I'm there. The houses of parliament of yore. Yes to yore. And what's the Churchill's there?

And he's like, hey, girl, can I borrow 20 pounds? And I was like, sure. You remember that little Churchill quote? Sure thing. Which is a lot of fucking money in 1945. I mean, where are the houses of parliament? I mean, man was drinking like four bottles of Paul Roger a day.

So I was like, sure thing. So I hand him the 20 pound note and then he looks at it and he sees that the year that it's printed is after the year that we are in in the past. And we make eye contact. Yeah. And I was like, shit. And he's like, and I see in his eyes that he knows

I'm a time traveler and I'm like, fuck, I have to fuck him so he doesn't tell anyone. So I fucked Winston Churchill. So the question that's on all of our minds, was he good? Yeah, I fought again in the dream. The farthest it went is that we were making out and I felt like stubble and wrinkly kind of flesh on my face. You tasted cigars.

You felt the weight of empire all over you. His teeth were wobbly. So when you first told that story, when you said so he wouldn't talk, I just literally thought it was because he was so obnoxious and going on about that you were just like, I need to shut this guy. He just keeps trying to do like witty aphorisms. You're like, okay, I need one thing that's going to stop these quotes about,

oh, if I were your husband, I'd put, okay, fine. It's time to put that moneymaker interaction. Now in my head, it's just, we all fuck them in the pussy and we'll fuck them in the ass and in the mouth. I would not let Winston Churchill fuck me in the ass. Come on, that's my line. They have some dignity. That is my line.

Atlee, maybe, call me or talk. Atlee, only in the ass. Then he just looks at you in the eye and goes like, oh, so time travelers don't fuck people in the ass. Okay, I guess people from the future, okay. And he does like other members of parliament running up to you going like, actually, I think I need to be kept quiet as well. She's a German spy, right?

That's what we're being quiet about. Welcome, everybody, to this week's episode of Trash Future. I can't recall if this is a free one or a bonus one, but we'll figure it out one way or the other. I think it's the free one. I think it is a free one. Yeah, so I'm Nate. Riley is not here.

He's skiing. It's the one thing that's more important to him than Trash Future. I'm joined in studio by an enormous mixer that was way bigger than I thought it was going to be. I also have, to my right, Alex Keely. All right, not a thick boy, crucially. I'm usually not thick at all. I'm a tiny boy.

Olga Koch. My name is Olga. I fucked your brother, and I don't regret it. Your brother wins the Churchill. And of course, Milo. It's me, your boy. A week's gone by, and you know what? I'm in better shape.

Well, that's all good. I mean, people, they were counting on you, Milo, because they need more of your relationship drama to make their lives exciting. Absolutely, yeah. I need to torpedo my life more in other different ways to make the podcast better. That's what I'm searching for.

I mean, that's what we're all trying to do. Yeah, what if you gain a shit ton of weight just for fun? I'm not doing that. I have to be ripped, Olga. That's why my whole brand is being ripped and jacked. Yeah, you're funny for a ripped guy. Milo's like cheating in a good place where he's got distressingly ripped abs,

and actually, you much rather it that he looked like the nerdy professor that he pretends to be. I am like a Ben Garrison cartoon of myself. I was just envisioning that wherever you are, no matter if you're sleeping in your car or somebody else's couch, you always keep with you a picture of ripped Garfield.

You're like, this is my dream. This is who I'm going to be. I just eat lasagna and go to the gym. Although they say I'm pretty rye for a ripped guy. Oh, sorry. I'm just going to cancel myself now. Speaking of cancellations, we have a doozy this week. I'm using, I mean, cribbing Riley's phrases

to sound like him. So people just be like, who boy? Who boy? Oh boy. Who boy is it a doozy? So you're doing his voices. Who's doing what for Riley? I'm jacking off onto the table.

Okay, wonderful. What are you taking off? Skiing opinions. Look forward to some of those. Yeah, snow. It's useful. Clusters of our dessert in this week's edition of Alex Keely's ski opinions.

They're both places. So basically on trash future for the longest time, we've had this, this running joke that at the core of conservatism is a desire to say the n word. Now it's a joke. We make it as a joke. But this week, true to form in the spectator, Lionel Shriver, famously normal person,

who we have up on the board right now on TV, sitting with her husband and her cup that she likes to bandy about that says Ulster Freedom Fighters on it. A woman with a man's name, but I'm sure she doesn't like trans people. Let's put it that way. Yes. She published an article in the spectator this week.

The original title was the prissy pantomime of the n word. Then they realized that sounded a little bit bad. So they changed it to the prissy purity of the n word. But they also got some complaints for that. So now they've just changed it. They've gone, they've gone made as concrete as possible and they call it why I hate the n word. God, did the fucking n word.

Okay, but that's the brand of complaint they got, not just like, scrap the article. It's the damn headline. Can't scrap the article. It needs to be written. The people need to know. I really hate the font in this version of Mine Camp. Version of Mine Camp written in comic sense.

The darkest possible energy. The funny thing about it is too, though, is that I managed to get it sort of incidentally because of a browser error, but it's online. Like it's like spectator digital subscriber only content. So really, when you get down to it, the headline might be one of the only parts of the article

that most people have read because who the fuck is going to pay for the spectator? So I can't imagine that you'd be like, damn, I really need to know what Lionel Trier sovereigns. I mean, also, genuinely, for the spectator, you realize they have that subscription offer at the moment, which is like 12 issues for 12 pounds and a 20 pound John Lewis voucher.

So they want to pay you eight pounds to read their magazine. It's not like backing yourself to be like, have three months of my magazine and I'll give you eight pounds. Because actually John Lewis is also struggling, but is to be fair, less right-wing than the spectator. So, you know. Fun fact about naming the spectator. Spectator was named after the old ancient English art of dogging.

You sit behind the wheel of your Morris Minor watching. Watching two men go at it in a gorse thicket. And then think somehow the liberals are to blame for this. It's one of them Winston Churchill. The other one's a time traveler. She's wearing a turtleneck. The turtleneck hasn't been invented yet. Only turtles come by turtlenecks in this period.

So I'm going to read an excerpt of this great Lionel Shriver article that I managed to read. Wait, did you pay for it? No, so something was wrong with the internet. I hit refresh. I got like the horrible plain text version of it with like the logo massively blown up. But for some reason I got the full article.

And I was like, hell yeah, I've hacked the Gibson, but also like, hell yeah, I'm not paying for the fuck. Spectator. Extremely matrix voice. I'm in. I'm in, exactly. I was like, wow, there's just lots of racism everywhere. I was expecting goo.

I would have been down with that, but instead it's just racism. Anyway, so this is how it begins. And bear with me on this one because wow, the metaphors are insane. It's wonderful. You're going to love this. It starts. So, Augsburg University, Minneapolis, Minnesota.

A student reads aloud a quote from James Baldwin's The Fire Next Time. You can only be destroyed by believing that you really are what the white world calls the n-word. I'm not going to say it, Alex, I'm not more on. The last word causes a stir. When the white professor, Philip Adamo, asks the class what they think of the students reciting of the quote verbatim, he repeats the word. The next day, the students kick Adamo out of his own classrooms.

Since as ever, the animals are running the zoo. He complies. The students pow wow. You know the drill. Students complain to the administration about the hurt, harm, and threat to their safety. These are all in square quotes. Caused by having been subjected to a bad word.

Cut to the chase. Adamo is removed from the course. He's now been suspended for a second term. Typically, all this wailing over trauma and injury is fake. The university campus is now a predatory environment, and professors are the prey. By allowing those two incendiary syllables out of his mouth, Adamo dangled a gotcha moment too enticing to pass up,

as if having stopped to tie his shoelaces on a belt, teeming with hyenas. The pattern of these stories is unmistakable. They are not about justice or the policing of prejudice. They are always about the exercise of power. All right, let's pause here for a second. I love those animal metaphors. Holy shit.

A belt teeming with hyenas. A belt, like the South African word or whatever. Oh, okay. V, L, G, T. I love that we're already in South Africa. How can I make this as unracist as possible? I don't know. Let's go for South Africa,

a country with no history of racial problems. Also, just like, I think if you're on a belt full of hyena, I don't think it's like, oh, what undid me was my shoelaces became untied. It's like, no, it's very much the fact that you were in a belt full of hyena. Like, I don't think it was like, now we know what a belt is.

A tie. Such a relatable experience. I was going to say, I mean, considering this is meant for spectator readers, maybe like hunting on the wilds of South Africa is a thing they're used to. Yeah, that happened to me last month. A belt sounds like a kind of,

like a kind of gentleman's sash that like a kind of Scandinavian aristocrat would wear to a white tie dinner. That's sort of what I imagine it. I mean, that's as relatable as... Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, to be fair. So she continues on and I cut out a little bit because I really didn't want to get into this.

It was unbearable, but these next two paragraphs are amazing. As for the Supreme No-No, the crackers can't even get close. Yeah. In 1999, a mayoral aide in D.C. was shamed into resigning after describing a budget item as niggardly

because some ignoramus didn't know what the word meant. Right on whites are thus anxious about visiting Niger, ordering a negroni, niggling over a bill, or sniggering at a joke, assuming anyone in this round of the vauntingly virtuous ever makes one. If white folks recommend the 2002 book N-word,

the strange career of a troublesome word, presumably they're obliged to abridge the title. Amazon's algorithm won't recognize the embarrassed abbreviation, and the distinguished author, Black Harvard professor Randall Kennedy, misses out on sales. Outside this very column,

which only spells out the troublesome words, scare quotes, in quotations of Black American notables, let's not tempt fate. I have little need to invoke this supernaturally potent term so the taboo doesn't cramp my style. And obviously, I shouldn't have to add this.

All racial slurs, when used as abuse, are poisonous, but we can all distinguish invective, shouting directly at an Irishman, you dumb mick, from- I mean, stop adding me on, the way here I was having a very difficult morning. From reference or reportage, that quote,

that unpleasant person just called an Irish gentleman a dumb mick, unquote, even though both include the slur. Philip Adamo's crucifixion by his students for discussing James Baldwin was an act of disingenuous mercenary opportunism. In other words, the usual. Okay, so I just have to address this.

She's suggesting that white people aren't allowed to type the n-word into Amazon. As though black people, sure, they can type the n-word into Amazon, but white people, as though Amazon's going to be your canceled. I feel like if you wanted to buy a book where that is the title,

you're allowed to type it into Amazon. I don't think anyone's ever saying, excuse me, have you typed the n-word? Well, I mean, you don't want to show up in those Google rankings, because the way they judge states on how racist they are apparently in America is how often people Google the n-word.

And Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra, too. Who would have Googled the n-word? If he had a search engine, that's all his browser history would be. It's just the n-word. He even got Firefox installed to look that way. Yeah, so one of the things,

I'm going to pause on this for a second, is that, okay, obviously she's insane. And she's been insane forever, and we know that. But I think that if this was an article that was trying to make the argument from a sort of purity of language standpoint, it would be one thing.

It would be a dumb argument to make. It would be an ill-advised argument to make, in my opinion. But in this case, because it's Lionel Shriver, you just can't help think like, oh, wow, she's really like, she's ruined multiple Saturdays in her life.

She's like, why can't I say the n-word? Like, and this- He's ruined the band, The Saturdays, by talking to them about why they can't say the n-word. And so as such, it's just like, I'm watching this and thinking to myself like, you know, Hussain makes this joke about this being like,

the essence of conservatism, but he's not wrong. Anyway, for the first time, I'm like, reactions. I get it. Normally in here, it's just like, what if this was for dick? And like, I can't get a word in edge-wise. I've not, you know,

I've not had a proper mordering in a groany. Like, I don't like, like, I, like, I, like, it doesn't even sound similar, not at all. Yeah, so I'm going to continue on here. But also it's like, as a white lady, you could do pretty much anything. Yeah. Apart from say that one word.

And she's like, no, no, I want it. I just want to say the word. Well, see, and I guess the thing about, the thing about it is with Lionel Shriver is that, like, she's a white woman from the South. She's lived in the United Kingdom since the 80s. Crucially, she moved to Belfast in 1987 because she really loves unionism.

Like, I don't know why. Also Freedom Fighters killed a lot of people, right? Yeah, they were a fucking terrorist organization. So it's like having a Hasbala mark, right? Like, I made a joke on Twitter not that long ago, where I was just basically like, I'm shocked at the double standard where Lionel Shriver gets a pass for her UFF mug,

but my I fucking love al-Qaeda mug gets me kicked out of the room. Like, it's basically, I mean, I'm not saying the exact same thing, but yeah, the UFF killed a lot of people. There was only room for one Lionel in America, and that was Lionel Richie. Exactly.

The only Lionel who's allowed to say the hand word? Yeah. He said, other Lionels are allowed. This is the UFF, by the way. Here's a big picture of dudes in ball clavus with AK-47s. I mean, that is literally the trash future publicity shot. That's awesome when we go on tour. That really looks like the opening

to like a badly scripted narrative porn. You're my step freedom fighters. Well, I guess the point that I'd make looking at this is that... Like the Vice Family Picnic 2011. Yeah. So basically, I'm going to continue on. So the reason why when Hussein pointed this out, and I was like, oh God, it's got to be Lionel Shriver writing this,

was that so last year, she published an article basically saying that, basically saying that the housing crisis in the United Kingdom was solely because too many brown people are having babies. And you can't say the end word. Exactly. And if white people could say the end word, they wouldn't be so sexually frustrated, and then they would reproduce more, but they can't.

And so there's a shortage. It's good to find out what like the verbal oysters are for like what? They have Rhodesia? Yeah, sorry. So because look, I take your point Olga, that it's dumb. I can go my entire life and not say the end word and I don't care. Like it's not like, but clearly she's up. I mean, it'd be nice once in a while,

but you know, if we can't say it, then fine. You know, you'd have to, that's so nervous. I'm just thinking about all the words that I haven't said, just like neutral words I've never said, and like have lived normally. That's interesting. I mean, I want to say something funny and sexual, like stop eating my ass.

I would never say that. I said all those words individually, sure. Yeah. Well, I mean, I realize that she's a columnist, and she's a columnist for an insane magazine, and so she has to come up with something to be mad about every week. And you know, it has to be individualized enough that it's going to get those Tory Haidt clicks that she wants so desperately.

Oh, that's such a good trademark, Tory Haidt clicks. Oh, no, it is for sure. Oh, I love that. And so it's one of those things where I understand this is just a facetious argument, but it's just such a dumb thing. It's a dumb hill to die on, and she's going to die the fuck on that hill.

I've now worked out what my, what my like business is that's going to make me a million is like, I'm going to just buy a warehouse and fill it with soundproof booths where people can come and shout the N-word. Oh, God. So anyway, March 17th, 2018, Lionel Shriver publishes an article in The Spectator,

basically saying the housing price of the crisis in Britain is because of migrants. And I'm going to similarly like the last one, I'm going to read a couple paragraphs here because who boy is this also a doozy? And does I think this gives perspective on who this person is with regard to the academic argument they're having about free speech and free speech rights?

Love it. All right. Ever since Theresa May's clarion address of the UK's housing shortage and how many successive PMs have embarked on the same brave heave-ho, countless comment pieces have addressed the real problem that drives the disjunction between supply and demand.

God, I love her writing so much. It makes me fucking wet. Who uses the word heave-ho? I think I've said the word heave-ho as many times as I've said the N-word, zero times. What does it mean? I've never heard of it. It seems like to take something and throw it, isn't it?

Well, it's like, it's not really like, it's not really like a verb or a noun. It's like, it's like a, it's like a sound. It's like, it's like something you might say if you were exhorting someone to live something. Like, come on, heave-ho. Like, but it's not really like- When I take like thirsty picks, I'm like, heave-ho.

I don't know what he even says. When you take sexy picks, if you're lifting stuff. Don't say heave-ho. Like, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're very sexually encouraging a person to like pick up a rain barrel and throw it, then like perhaps you are. So I recall like as a kid reading the Bino,

and it's like when people are like picking up something heavy together, saying heave-ho as if it was like a thing like you would say when you throw it. I don't know. Yeah. It's like an exhortation. That's what I'm saying. Because it's not really, you can't use it in that context.

It's not an action. Well, I mean, maybe it's because she really wants so desperately to be British that she's decided to use Britishisms, even if they don't make sense in context. Well, I mean, yeah. So I'm going to continue. She says,

nimbyism, complex protected planning permission, developer land banking, rich Chinese and Russians investing in unoccupied properties as three dimensional bank accounts, excessive protection of green belts, second homeowners, empty properties the state should confiscate, the catastrophic sell off of social housing,

a willful confusion about the word affordable in scare quotes means. Yet when two statistics are out of whack, it behooves us to look at them both. All the above dysfunctions regard supply, which suggests there's something awkward about looking instead at demand. At a radio three free thinking event last weekend.

People say they're starving because there's not enough food, but that's that's a supply side issue. Let's look at the demand. What if we just call? At a radio three free thinking event last week, and I all but came to blows with my panel's rational optimists who believes that the continued human population growth will be both modest and benign.

The moment I mentioned the inevitable pressures on Europe of mass migration, the poor gentleman exploded as if I tripped the pin on one of those grenades crapping up on the Dodger streets of Sweden. Something about. Yes. Could you repeat our sentence?

I'm sorry. She says, the moment I mentioned the inevitable pressures on Europe of mass migration comma, the poor gentleman exploded comma as if I tripped the pin on one of those grenades crapping up on the Dodger streets of Sweden. I said you don't nail the pin.

You pull the pin and you throw it. Thank you for the true peg. He's a hee-ho. We say hee-ho when we throw the grenade. We say, oh shit, when we step on a landmine, which is what she's describing. Yeah. There's no landmines and streets of Sweden.

Well, I mean, I don't know what parts of Sweden you're hanging on. Landmine is the name of my Swedish girlfriend. Anyway, I'll continue. Something about how we screwed up in Libya and the needs of the NHS. Give the guy this. He did rouse righteous applause

from the great and good progressives who attend events at the Sage Gateshead and Newscastle. Okay. So what she's basically saying is, I said something fucking racist. People cheered the guy who called me out and now I'm mad because I'm actually I'm right because I'm rational in facts and logic.

Absolutely. All right. But if I'd have said the n-word, it would have gone differently. In the grand scheme of things, what is the big, what bigger grenade is there besides the n-word? I mean, like it's certainly a thing you say,

heave-ho before you throw into the road. Pull the pin on the n-word and throw it in there. Let's look at this housing business. It took half a century for the UK population to rise from 50.3 million in 1950 to 59.1 million in 2000. During that period, the foreign-born population rose from 4.3% to 8.8%. So a measure of that increase

was already accounted for by newcomers. After an inflow historically unprecedented for this country, this brief century alone has seen the UK pop foreign pop of the UK population shoot up to 65.6 million as of January 2017, 14% of whom were foreign-born as of 2016. We're now adding another half million every year. According to the Office for National Statistics,

the UK population is set to cross 70 million by 2029. Migration watch places that watershed even sooner in 2026. That's only eight years from now. While demographic predictions are notoriously undependable, near-term projections tend to be more reliable. We've heard about the... Lionel Shriver really cared that much about the amount of foreign-born immigrants.

You could go fucking hoes because she got back to fucking America. Exactly. I mean, I'm just saying this as somebody who's also from America, like Jesus Christ. But I mean, you know, she... To be fair, a bunch of her political bad fellows are really going to help reduce the population of the United Kingdom quite sizably

by creating a United Island. That's one way that you can reduce the possibility. Very quick way to get our population down is United Island. This is an occasion for one of my sex sound effects. Also, I mean, Nate will agree with me here. Immigrating into the UK or any country is incredibly difficult. Yeah, it's not easy at all. The only two reasons you would is if you're a refugee

and you genuinely cannot live in the country where you are and you have to fucking prove it, or you're contributing to the UK, whether it's like you're studying here or it's a work visa, it is incredibly difficult to move here. Time traveling. You want to come here to eat Winston Churchill's ass? Yeah, yeah, they make it.

He can't fuck me in the ass, but I can fuck in. I mean, to chicken Winston Churchill. To the point where a friend of my wife was involved with the campaign to basically put pressure on the Tories to reduce their projected sum that was basically the threshold for how much you'd need to earn to sponsor a spouse. And it's already fucking high as shit compared to incomes in this country.

I mean, like it's 18,600 pounds a year. But like for people in the North or people in Wales or people in Northern Ireland, that's far more than the median income. They wanted it to be like 24,000 pounds a year. It's fucking insane. And so... Also, isn't there like if you're married to a national,

you can't move unless that national is earning a certain amount of money? And here's the crazy thing. Which is crazy. Which is crazy, because think about it. Like if you could work, then you could earn more money and you could meet that target, but they won't let you. Like, and if you work illegally,

that money doesn't mean anything. You can't count that. Like so, effectively, they've made it as many bureaucratic loopholes as possible to make so that they can justify not letting people in unless they're wealthy. I mean, like, yeah. So to get on that point... Rich people are the most oppressed race, let's be real.

Well, no, the Irish are the most oppressed race, as Lionel Shriver will let you know. Then white people can't say the N word and then the rich. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she continues, we've heard about Britain's recent mini-baby boom, in scare quotes, but its primary cause isn't native-born women

hitting up the NHS for IVF in their 40s or having triplets. It's not appreciably... Native-born women just being like, hell yeah, gonna smash out some triplets of 45. Hit me, I have to fucking fertilize my shit in NHS. It's not appreciably caused by immigrants from Eastern Europe either. As of 2011, mothers born in Poland averaged 2.1 children, while mothers born in Pakistan had 3.8,

and mothers born in Somalia had 4.2. So even Brexit, assuming it actually happens, and actually curtailes freedom of movement, ha, on both counts, may not appreciably constrain foreign increase. Well, yeah, I mean, we knew this, but she's like pro-Brexit. So like, what is her point? Her point is like, we need to stop the immigrants.

Brexit won't do it, but I'm still obviously pro-Brexit because I'm also a reactionary. Yeah, and she basically says, I summarize this because it's annoying. She basically says that the statistics are bad, but the real reason why housing is in short supplies, because everybody comes to London, to be fair, that's where all the fucking jobs are.

Because the rest of the UK is shit. There's no jobs. You can make a lot more money in London. But anyway, she continues, as of 2016, only 45% of the capital was white British, an astonishing 58.2% of births in London were to foreign-born mothers. In the Northwest London Borough of Brent,

76% of births were to non-UK-born women. While over a third of the babies born in England and Wales had at least one parent born outside the UK, in London, that figure was 66.6%. Two thirds. Wow, you can do fractions. Thanks, Lionel. I also love presenting neutral statistics

and just assuming people will think they're bad. Like, you were just saying things to me, and I'm like, yeah, okay. But to her, that's like, that is just negative. Just the numbers themselves are negative by default, which is so funny. Yeah, I mean... It's like when Fox News runs a thing on a KZO Cortez,

and they're like, KZO Cortez believes in free health care and education. It's written in like the scary dripping font, you know. And it just looks exactly the same. Go to the doctor. She continues, and she wants to parry you. She wants to own you with your own logic. She says, hey, I know all about the fact

that immigrants to the UK take up space because I am a UK immigrant. Both Americans, my husband, and I occupy a three-bedroom Georgian house that has thus been removed from the stock available to folks who were born here. Next door to us lives a large family of Nigerians with numerous other compatriots, eternally coming and going, who may or may not be...

Yeah, they're going because you keep calling them the n-words. Who may or may not be accounted for by officialdom. She went there. They have relatives, and so they're all criminals. Yeah, many of whom may or may not have large sums of money to transfer to you if you can just pay some certain administrative costs. Oh, my God.

Michael Shriver's done a great business deal with the Nigerians. Do you have any kids? I don't think so, no. I'm not sure. She did write the book. We've talked about Kevin, in which a woman basically describes

pregnancy as being infested from within, and then her child goes on to do a school massacre with a crossbow. Yeah, so how guy would you be if you were her? She says, do I sound bigoted? Oh, baby, come on. Sounds the fucking horn. People can be bigoted, but facts can't be.

The UK's housing crisis rests... So you're not a person, you're a fact? The UK's housing crisis rests hand in glove with mass immigration. Without a doubt, Nimbism, arcane planning permission, rules, Russian oligarchs, all that make the situation worse. But effectively, if Theresa May,

and probably Abracadabra at 1.5 million additional homes in this country by 2022 as Pledge Notory Manifesto, they'd be built for foreigners like me. Who fucking cares? People who come to this country to work actually won't be here, like, actually do work. Like, I'm just... I don't know.

I don't want to go off too much on my adopted country, but fucks sake. I mean, she's making a very valid contribution to the economy by writing articles like this. Exactly. I mean, like, she... I can't even... It's weird.

Like, I can't even come up with a good, like, glib enough joke to describe how, like, how much contempt I feel for this, just because it's like, like, white woman from the South moves to Britain to basically take advantage of all the things that life in Britain entails. And she's like, but there's too many brown people.

And it's like... I do love the overt racism. So the bit when she... So she goes, all the immigration... Yes, there are other things, like, Nimbism and this and, like, Russian oligarchs. I'm like, wait, so that's not...

That's not immigrant. Like, there's, like, the overt, like, well, it's Russian. It's rich Russian. So that's not... Like, that she's, like... She's, like, explicitly saying... Why is she racist against me?

What she's basically... It seems to me like what she's trying to say is that you should disregard all of the economic decisions made since Right to Buy was instituted and the absolute drawdown of building new social housing. You should disregard all, like, the market and economic forces and just say, well, there are non-white people

who weren't born in this country who live in housing. So therefore, the housing shortage is because of non-white people. That must be the problem. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense to me. And it's just like... I mean, for one thing, I think that take that she has on her neighbors gives you exactly what you need to know as far as, like, her views on things.

But it's just... To me, it just seems strange because, like, money laundering is a huge thing here. Housing... It's even less regulated here than it is in the United States with regards to, like, luxury housing being used as, like, an investment vehicle for money laundering. That's a known problem.

And so the idea that, like, you're just gonna look... You're gonna disregard all that. You're gonna disregard, like, what just in Southern Council alone, the extent to which, like, they've demolished social housing to build. What's promised to be better social housing in terms of to be luxury condos with, like, you know, 5% of the units being privately rented,

but for, like, low-income renters, which is the thing that you see in the United States as well. It's like, none of that matters because my neighbors are Nigerian. It's like... And they shouldn't be, in her opinion. Yeah. I'm sorry.

I just did the bylaw thing. Why don't my neighbors just not be Nigerian? I've asked them this on a number of occasions. Like, have you considered not being Nigerian? Well, maybe Ugandan or something. I don't know, but just Nigerian. I'd like it if Lionel Shriver was just, like, weirdly racist against Nigerians, but no one else.

Like, she had no problem with any other kind of Black people. We're just like, I have many great Ugandan friends, but Nigerians have just always rubbed me up the wrong way. Yeah. Consolidate your racism into one manageable payment of one the smallest country possible. So just find a really... Okay. I sense a weird tension in the room as we describe this.

And I feel like rather than us creating racist scenarios and imputing them to Lionel Shriver, what we can do is just continue to read what Lionel Shriver has actually said. Because, who boy, is there more? Is there ever more? So, back in 2016, before that article, Lionel Shriver gave the keynote speech at the Brisbane Riders Festival in Brisbane, Australia.

In the birthright nation for racism, Australia. In Brisbane, the biggest city in Queensland, famously a normal place, Lionel Shriver gave a speech. And I'm not going to subject you to the entirety of it, by any means. But I am going to give you a cut, because what she basically said is, the gist of her speech, and I'm trying to be as fair as possible here,

is that identity politics in writing damages limits writing, limits fiction writing, because it says that the only people who can write about certain experiences are people who have those experiences. And thus, it makes it so that a person feels as though they have to apologize for wanting to represent the world. But, as you can see from what she writes,

what she writes is insane. And I wouldn't trust her with, I mean, to be honest with you, I wouldn't trust her with the subjectivity of a British person, much less a not-white person. Well, that book was originally called, We Need to Talk About My Son, who is called the N-word. I mean, who knows? I mean, like, somewhere in Belfast is the original draft,

and it's just, there's at least one N-word on every page. It's just the way that it works. She's like, I have a quota to meet, all right? They wouldn't have given me this exceptional talent visa if I wasn't good at this. It is Northern Ireland, after all. You know, when people do that thing, where they do three months' worth of tweets,

and then they go, hey, go back and look at my tweets and read the first word of each tweet. Do you think she's done that for some of her books? If you go back and read the first line of each book, then it's just the N-word or something. So I'm going to read this because I feel like this is important outside of just like the summary of her speech. She writes in her novel, The Mandibles,

which is a dystopian American hell story, and I'll get into the plot. It's amazing. Basically, she's a Martin Amos, the woman version, and everything that entails. In The Mandibles, I have one secondary character, Luella, who's black. She's married to a more central character, Douglas,

The Mandible family's 97-year-old patriarch. I reason that Douglas, a liberal New Yorker, could credibly have left his wife for a beautiful, stately African-American because arm candy of color would reflect well on him in his circle and keep his progressive kid's objections to a minimum. Already, what the fuck?

But in the end, the joke is on Douglas, because Luella suffers from early onset dementia while his ex-wife, staunchly of sound mind, ends up running a charity for dementia research. As the novel reaches its climax and the family is reduced to the street, they're obliged to put the adult, disoriented Luella on a leash, keeping her from wandering around.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, hang on. So the plot of her book is that he marries a black woman and it ruins his family, and that now she's on a leash. That's fucking horrendous. I didn't have to do... I came in here at 1150 to start digging on this to write this. I had like 30 minutes to do the show notes for this,

and this is what I found already. This is... Wow, this is eye-opening. Oh, that's so upsetting. She writes, I confess that this climate of scrutiny has got under my skin. I love that also, hang on. It's easy to forget when someone's written a book

that like they had to make that up, like she was free to write anything apart from that, and she still chose to write that. Trash Future does not endorse this as a dementia treatment. Yeah, I'm putting people on a leash. That's fucked up. Oh, I mean, like, does this come... Has anyone ever done that?

Has anyone ever put someone with dementia on a leash? If I... So this reflects back, I remember thinking, what was the guy who was Richard Littlejohn and Will Self had that argument on the BBC like 18 years ago? Oh, that's a shame. It was really funny, but the point that he made was the guy...

I want to say Will Self had read Richard Littlejohn's novel, and he was like, Richard Littlejohn was trying to defend it by saying, well, actually, the characters in my story are liberals. He's like... And Will Self says, yes, they're liberals, but they're so angrily and snarkily parody

that it just defies belief. Like, literally, you have a character, they're Trotsky interests who want to become police, and one of them gets so horny that he jacks off with a truncheon, and it's like, how the fuck is that even possible? It's like, a person says, well, see, I'm not racist. I wrote a black character who ruins a guy's life

and gets led around on a leash. So she continued... Representation matters, everyone. She matters the fucking hell of a lot. Behold, the reviewer in the Washington Post, which groundlessly accused this book of being racist, and square scare quotes, because it doesn't toe a strict Democratic party line

in its political outlook. It doesn't toe the strict line of not having black people being the reason a family is destroyed and then get led around on a leash. I mean, that's so fucking... I mean, the Democratic Party famously championed all of these, like the crime bill, and all of these things that have been done

to destroy the American welfare state, specifically to target black people. Like, the idea that Democratic Party line is... If the Democratic Party line is stultifying because you can't write weird slave porn, then go fuck yourself. I mean, that's ascribing so much enlightenment to a terrible, craven political party.

She's just mad that people said, wow, your racist book is racist. But anyway, continuing. The suggestion is that this image not be employed for the movie poster. Later on, she adds, she says when she's talking about her grand unified theory of fiction writing and identity.

Look, we have to read... Look, I have a background in fiction writing. Every fucking book is about, like, what is it like to be a 20-something dude in Brooklyn? Like, just because a book is about being alive doesn't necessarily mean that it's fucking bad. But her thing is, like, no, that's interesting if it's a white person writing it.

But if a Chinese person's doing it, like, oh, this just isn't interesting enough for me. Olga, you look really upset. I just... I'm just really sad. This is a huge bummer. Wait, is it not? Please subscribe to the Patreon as well. I think we can take some comfort

in the fact that Lionel Shriver is a broadly irrelevant person. If we want to focus on... One thing I will say on a lighter note is, like, how can she possibly be defending a novel where it's like... One of the characters, like, ignoring all the race components of it, like, one of the characters got dementia, but, oh, the person you left for set up a dementia chat.

I'm like, that's just, like, the most... The level of, like, dramatic irony there is, like, fucking red light on the dashboard, like, from shit writing, right? It's just, like, holy shit. Oh, yeah. The dance contest is exactly... Hip-Hot is just saying the community said it.

Oh, my God, the prize in the dance contest is exactly one ass eating. Oh, oh, my God. Wow, why is Winston Churchill judging you? Eat it like it's the 4th of July. The prize money in the racism contest is exactly the money I need to buy the house from the Nigerians next door. So, something that I did a little bit of digging,

if I had more time and I was more organized and better prepared, I might actually have read some of her book, because sometimes you can find true gems when... I mean, you read these things in summary, like, in reviews, and you think, go ahead, sorry. Sorry, just really, really quickly. Maybe this is a dumb thing, but I just want to say it before we move on a bit.

But, like, the idea that you're writing... You're reading a book as an American person about the Chinese experience, and you just think that that's, like, a book about being Chinese, but wouldn't a Chinese person reading any book about America be like, why are they talking about being American? Like, every, like, every big American novel is about, like, the American dream,

or, like, building a new identity in a country that's so young, like, all these things, like, an American tragedy, or, like, I don't know, white noise. All of them are about being American. Yeah, exactly. I mean, like, Greg Gaspe, which is about crazy bitches. But it's literally about being American. So, like, a Chinese person reading that would be like,

they keep just being American as fuck on every page! A bunch of Americans! Yeah, exactly. And I think that this is the kind of person who says, like, Lionel Shriver, I mean, like, and taking it out of, like, the context of the insane shit that she said that we've seen just in what I've read out loud is the kind of person who'd be like,

oh, no, I read books about truth and beauty, like, Madame Bovery, but that book is too Chinese. And it's like, don't be wrong, Flaubert was a great writer, but that book is basically about nothing. Like, it's a lot of just shit. It's next to nothing about being Chinese, that's for sure. And so, it's one of those things where you realize

it's being graded on a curve, or rather, you should say, it's being graded, everything that's not, everything that's not immediately identifiable to her personal experience is being graded harsher than everything that is. Which is to suggest, like, it's almost as though she has a prejudice towards some things and not towards others.

That's a big accusation. I wonder what's the technical difficulties. It's like what you say about, like, when people, like, genre, like, almost like all fiction is like fiction, but then she's like asserting that this is like somehow like, oh, this is like a genre piece, because it happens to about Chinese Americans. So, in the same way, they'd be like, oh, I love,

like, oh, a great woman comedian, as if that's like a genre. Or the idea that, I mean, I don't think anybody at their core is really angry when someone who isn't of a certain group is writing about a group, but it is obviously incredibly frustrating when someone who isn't of that group is getting books published,

and someone who is of that group can't get books published. And so, like, for me, for example, I find it somewhat frustrating when it's very challenging for, for example, veterans who write fiction to get books published, although it has changed a lot, but for a while, it was very, very challenging. But then, like, if Joyce Carol Oates wanted to write a book that was completely fucking just

moronically not based on anything, you'd be like, wow, what a searing indictment of the Iraq war. And she's just like, yes, because she sat in her fucking townhouse and made up some shit. And you guys just read it and were like, oh, this is what it must be like.

The real Iraq war was because Saddam Hussein wouldn't let the Q80s say the NY. So, long story short, I mean, that's, that's obviously like a super subset kind of argument, but it's just one of those things where, if you go on to, like, what this book is about, on top of this, on top of what we've just described, in summary, her book is about a dystopian America

that's run out of water where everybody's poor because of hyperinflation, because the damn deficit just went crazy. The incompetent president is Hispanic and paradise is found, they are led to paradise by a smart 13-year-old boy who likes Austrian economics and they set up a libertarian paradise in Nevada, which is on the gold standard and has a flat tax.

She's basically Pound Shop Einrand. Imagine setting up a paradise in Nevada. It's like a contradiction in terms. I've been to Nevada. It's horrible. It sucks. Yeah. So that's the same book as,

sorry, that's the same book as the dementia. Yes. How do you get from, yeah. Also, like, we've run out of water. Where shall we go? Nevada. The whole state is one big fucking desert.

It's drier than Lionel's pussy. Richie or Shriver. Getting to the end of this and bringing it back to this article in the beginning, it's not surprising to me that if an article is going to come out defending the indefensible to such an absurdly dumb degree that it would be by someone who seems to delight in just,

I don't know, just making these kind of bad faith representations of the world. I think we can agree that the dementia one is pretty bad faith. I think we can make the, we can agree that what she said about migration in the UK and about her Nigerian neighbors is also a pretty bad faith.

So when she decides that this is actually a free speech issue and that if you go back to the beginning describing the students as hyenas and the animals running the zoo and so on and so forth, I think she's kind of prejudiced. And I feel as though that appearing in the spectator more or less unchallenged

kind of tells you about who the spectator is for. Who was publishing it, who's reading it. Yeah, I think it's also really interesting when they fabricate, this is something that really frustrates me when I see a lot of women, I don't want to shit on women on a podcast where I'm the only woman. But when women are some, some, I'm thinking

of one particular woman where they're like, what if I want to stay home and make sandwiches? Why can't I just stay home and make sandwiches? It's like no one is stopping you for making sandwiches. You're creating an oppression that isn't there. Like we're fighting something completely different. So it just feels like here, it's like, I mean, you wrote this article, didn't you?

And they publish you in a major newspaper. Yeah, exactly. And also something that I point out too is that like whenever these stories happen, I don't know what the details are behind this professor getting suspended and so on. But I am convinced that if you dig into it just below the slightly below surface,

you're going to discover that it's not so cut and dry as the professor said the n-word and thus, quoting James Baldwin in his usage of it. And thus he was suspended because, you know, I mean, also- Did he need to have his dick out when he said the n-word? That's the question they're asking. Did he have to be masturbating at the time? She literally has gotten away with so much racism

systematically whether talking on panels or writing books about it or writing articles about it. Like why, why is she like, why can't I be racist? You are and you're making money on it. You're doing very well. And apparently you can afford to own a home in Bermondsey. Stop pretending no one's letting you be racist. You've made a career out of it.

Yeah. And I think that, I don't even know where I'm going with this because I'm just so shocked by it. Because like it's one of those things where if Milo or Hussain or myself or Riley, like if we comically overstate one of these positions to make a joke, like it wouldn't sound as far-fetched as the shit that she actually said. Like, yeah, just like, yeah, I think in a weird way,

despite her literally, despite her literally going, despite the one about the housing crisis, that objectively being racist and all that, but just that whole plot line of the like, ah, he thought it would be like all the rationale that she imputes on the white person for marrying a black woman. And then like that it's somehow being a narrative like, oh, but then it was his undoing to marry,

and like the ever, like that just seems really like. Once again. Yeah, yeah, he was marrying a black woman to own the libs, but it was once again he who was owned. Because marrying a black woman is a sin, which is always punished by cosmic justice. I was going to say, she's Red Faulkner and taking all. That's like literally, that's literally what, that's,

yeah, that's literally, yeah. No, no, no, I mean, what she describes, that's not like, that's not, that was her own summary, that was her own summary of her own book, was that, right? Yeah, I was not making that, that was taken from her words that she read in the speech. Like she, that was her own summary of her own book. Yeah, and what you don't know is in Australia,

that was followed by a standing ovation. Yeah, you fucked that one up, you can. Do you know the, do you know the Nish Kumar joke about Australia and racism and cricket that he's like, like, like cricket and racism, Britain started it, but Australia have perfected it. Yeah, yeah. So Nish Kumar, go follow her.

Very, very funny. But I mean, I, Olga, you had an interesting point that I wanted to maybe see you talk about more, it was just the, no, you did, you actually did. Baby's first interesting point. Well, I'm trying, I'm trying. Wait, you, you're plugging your ladybird series. Baby's first own.

My baby's been cancelled. When you talked about women comedians and the idea that, like, you just, you describe the sort of creating this argument that somewhere somehow someone is oppressing you by saying, but because you think someone doesn't want you to say the thing that you're saying. It seems to me like that's also similar to this argument that she's making that, that basically she's this truth teller

and everyone else is afraid to say it. Yeah. But we're looking at it, we're like, no, none of that's even fucking real. And I'm just wondering, like, if you had any reactions as, as somebody who's apparently part of the housing problem because of Russian oligarchs, you know, and. Hi, oligarchs.

Exactly. Just completely separately, just because of how she was saying, like, oh, it might be like, yes, our supply side problems with the housing crisis, but really it's a demand one. And I'm just like, I just really, I can't wait for Infinity War two to find out that actually it was Lionel Shriver, who was Thanos.

I'm like, Thanos, he's very fair about the 50-50 culling of the, but I'm just saying she's racist. We'd have to have a, then this podcast in that universe would have to be, there would have to be only one person on this podcast who is in any way effectual and everyone else would have to be just being like, and I helped. Right, right.

So you're trying to say who is Trash Future's Thor, is that the. Yeah, basically, like, that film annoyed me so much. I should be fair on the research level, I would say. It's Nate, it's very much Thor today. And we're all like, and I'm Hawkeye. I've got a joke about Assy. I'm the little Hawkeye's here, I helped.

I'm firing an M4 at the face of God, which is definitely like helping. I want to be John T. Jeremy Renner, damn it. That's who I want to be in real life. John T. Jeremy. Because the heart locker was so accurate. Exactly, it's my favorite movie. It really captured the experience, I loved it so much.

Jeremy Renner just running around, listening to metal like a badass, almost getting himself killed. Firing bows and arrows at Rockies, yeah. Yeah, I actually like that point, Alex, about the supply side versus demand side, because it's like, wow Lionel, you've really, really blown my fucking mind. It's like, well, sure, the housing is in crisis,

but people also need to live somewhere, owned libs. It's like, read Econ 101, supply and demand. Yeah, what's the real problem? So like right wing economics is usually like focused on supply side shifts, right? So literally the only time that a right winger can accept like the notion of like left wing, like demand side is like genocide. Like fine, I'll agree with demand side.

We just like, if we can kill some people, if we can reject some people from this country. She basically is saying like we can build more houses or we can send them all back to Somalia. Like that's really what she said. I mean, she crucially is the very heart of Serbia. She targeted, I mean, she specifically targeted Somalia is by saying that like they have the highest birth rate

apparently in the United Kingdom. And so as a result, that's a problem to her. Let people fuck. Exactly, just because you can't fuck, just because your husband can't get it off since the good Friday agreement doesn't mean that you shouldn't let other people fucking have babies. No greater boner killer than the good Friday agreement.

Does that mean there'll be no more bombs? How else am I going to not? I was, I was running around Belfast looking for any finian bastards. I was like, could be the side. No, it's not. But no, not unionists. Yes, but that's not unionists. I'm fucking spent.

I'm spent like Lionel Shriver to racism festival. I don't even know what to say. So, so maybe we just wrap it up and call this one a good one. Olga, Alex, thank you so much for making time on a Saturday to come in for this. Yeah. Milo. I enjoyed, I enjoyed this new,

this new relaxed version of trash future with, with that monologue in the middle at the helm. Which is very, it was very vibey. We're gonna, if you're going to see that there's this massive uptick in Patreon subscriptions, like just make Riley go skiing all the time. Riley went away to live on afar. Riley was actually here the whole time,

but he was taking selfies in the mirror. Yeah, we had him, we had him gagged. I love, I love every time when Riley posted a picture where it's just like, where it's the most thinly veiled, like, I really need to get a haircut. Why are you topless? Actually, that's something you heard. He would never post a topless pic, let's be honest.

That's something that you heard in the background throughout this entire recording is Riley just lifting upstairs. He's just doing powerless. He's doing a solid 85 kilo bench print. We are absolutely rebranding as yoked future. This is just how it's going to be. So I'm going to, I'm going to do the closing as though this was a free episode, although I really have no idea

if it's free or not. So I'm just going to say, I thank you for being here on a Saturday. Thank you, Milo, also for being here and thank you for for using your personal life as fodder for the podcast. It's a wise decision made by entertainers. 100%, it definitely won't come back to bite me in any way, shape or form. I'm sure it will not. I'm sure this is an extremely well advised podcast about racism by white people.

100%, thanks for listening to this. And I'm just going to say, yes. Calling it out doesn't make it better. You are all, we're all implicated in this one, baby. This is just the way that it happens almost like, like institutional racism in the first place. But hey, if you tell anyone I'm a time traveler, I will fuck you. Don't care for Winston Churchill.

Okay. Well, no, wait, no, you have to be, so now it's the other way around. They just try to spread the message. It's fucking Mardi Gras for telling Olga, people about Olga's attention. Olga's trying to build a following. I don't care who I have to fuck. So I mean, do they just have to say it or they have to present you

with evidence of your time travel before you fuck them? Well, I have to pay them first, clearly. That's happened with Winston Churchill. I feel like this story is so, this is like when you're trying to explain a really like poorly judged hookup to your friend the next day, be like, well, they thought I was a time traveler, but I thought it was that they didn't think it was, oh, it doesn't. But also I'm laughing too, because you said that Winston Churchill realized

that the pound, the 20 pound note was not of his time because of the future, because of the date. But like, wouldn't he also look like, what the fuck is a hologram? Let's get down to it. Are you fact checking my dreams? That's what I do. That's what I do. If I'm not crushing your dreams, I'm assigning them four Pinocchios.

It's like three months salary and one piece of paper. Fuck. Madness. Yeah, I thought the idea of being like, Winston, if you were my husband, I'd give you a 20 pound note. If you were my wife, I'd use it as payment to eat your pussy. Now. Accurate.

That is classic Churchill quotes that we all know and love. The Churchill after dark, the pussy eating tapes. I was surprised when my parents got that mug with that quote. He called my clip the enigma wrapped. I'm really, I'm really excited when Trash Future launches a publishing line in August. There's a specter haunting Europe. The specter of pussy.

That's not Churchill. I'm just laughing. Pretty sure it is. That's the first line of Communist Monofesto. You're right. It is. You're talking about Trash Future and I just owned you in communism. I love now if Milo gets a silver bullet of what one thing to cut in the episode,

he'd be like, keep some of the really spicy stuff about racism, but not a big deal. Yeah, it was. That was Karl Marx, sexy Karl Marx. That was Winston Churchill reading Karl Marx hornily. I've never seen Olga look so bad back in time to Karl Marx. You know what sucks is that I had a joke lined up, but that was so much better. My joke was that we were going to publish your novel. It's going to be called The Time Traveler Strap On, but like.

Olga's like, would you like to distribute the means of my production? Then Karl's like, stop. I'm going to not. Oh my god. Okay. Okay. So that's where Olga puts a different engraved dildo into a postbox, and then it goes back to the feet of the tongue.

Well, that's the plot. That's the plot of the lake house. Olga's fucking Keanu Reeves to a postbox. When we're going, we don't need dicks. Keanu Reeves sticking his whole head into a mailbox to eat Olga's pussy. Oh, why didn't we do the whole podcast just this? Well, because we had to be, I was trying to be Riley, damn it. I was trying to do like the politics and everyone seems to like for some reason.

He's been fairly told us to do it. Riley was like, read the article about it. From the Swiss ski slopes, he sent us a WhatsApp message like, hey, I'm jauntily just swishing about, by the way, do the fucking podcast on politics. So we did. I know madness. And now that it's done, if you like this podcast and you want more is my NPR voice. You can subscribe to our Patreon for $5 a month.

You can get another one of these where we really get spicy on racism. We also, what else? Milo, you have a smoke comedy coming up. I do. Yeah. 13th of March, the headline is going to be Tanya Edwards, who's very good. And there will be other people doing it also. I can't, my brain is caked today, honestly. You got one to plug to Olga? Yes, I'm still on tour.

I still have Bath, Glasgow and Coventry coming up. And can you please come to my work in progress at Vault Festival March 6th and 7th? Go ahead, Alex. Uh, I'm very good at tutoring math at a level. So if you or your children need, I can do quite advanced calculus for them. So, uh, reasonable discount rates to trash future subscribers. That would be so good. Enter the code Kiehl's 10.

And, uh, we also have some, well, we haven't made any new merch anytime recently, but we still do have the two trash future mugs on sale. The link will be in the show notes for one cup. One of them is Alex Geely. You bought one. You bought a trash future muck. No, he's a muck. Oh, dammit, dammit, owned again.

Anyway, finally to close it out, if there aren't any other plugs, which are fine, more plugs are good, we like plugs. If there aren't any more plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs. We have our song, our theme song is Here We Go by Jin Sang. You can find it on Spotify and you should listen to it because he let us use it for our terrible podcast. Listen to it every day. Play it to Winston Churchill to fuck him up.

Or let him fuck you. Yeah. Never. Only Olga.