TRASHFUTURE - Juul Olive™

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everyone and welcome to this free episode of yeah the free one it sure is Milo thank you very much right the this has been the which one is it our yeah it's been an hour already it really does fly when you're having fun oh my goodness it's been an hour so if you want to come see us we are doing a live show yes I'm a patreon no we are actually doing a live show it is a long time a ticket's a flying out the door they are absolutely it is it is our biggest our biggest venue yet and we are seeing it fill up so if you want to London come to London if maybe you're already live in London in which case

Starting point is 00:00:50 you basically already there I'm gonna get the train down for this you have no excuse not to Alice is gonna get the train down asterisk maybe no I'm gonna I'm gonna get I'm gonna attempt to get the train down I will I will commend my soul into the hands of British public transport oh yeah we're gonna hang out with Alice we're gonna go we're gonna go Alice Pilled yeah yeah that's right we're gonna be we're gonna be hijab maxing yeah haters are seething about how much fun the TF live show is going to be that's right how much fun we're all gonna have at the team dinner we're gonna have which you are not invited to

Starting point is 00:01:27 except maybe what if maybe potentially one lucky ticket holder was invited to the team dinner the only way to find out is buy a ticket maybe to hold an email yeah maybe yeah maybe just go to Cholango any Cholango in London yeah we might be there is your grandfather refusing to get out of bed maybe attend the trash you chill I've had hastily canceling the CF live show Mexican week we're just all in that we're all in some bros yeah throwing a big fake moustache into the garbage my fucking time and then you just see it's Spanish day you have to dig it back out of the garbage again no it's a it's it's TF

Starting point is 00:02:11 it's Riley Milo Hussein and Alice and we are talking about some stuff some items some some things that have happened some things that happened quite a while in the past in the terms of the reading from the New York Times that I have at the end of the notes which I am very determined like you don't know this listener but maybe 30% of the time to 40% of the time that I choose an article to read at the end of the show we just don't get to it and then it's content unmade you know the articles that you don't read yeah it's jazz musical and I am determined to get to this one because it contains a number of things

Starting point is 00:02:50 that can only really be described as corporate slapstick yeah the reason why we don't get to things is because if you're like I am podcasting discipline where you're like no we won't run for an hour and a half unless we're talking to Patrick Wyman we're gonna we're gonna like do one hour one hour only and then we're gonna leave two thirds of the way through you know that's right so with a view to that I've got some news items up front number one soft bank the vision find has shed now 30% of its staff facing economic headwind these the one shed is very weird they're like a snake you know it's like abandoned the

Starting point is 00:03:28 desiccated husks of 30% of its staff the vision fund has entered a new phase of still sucking because the thing about the vision fund is that like much like a snake if you cut off part of it it will grow back and so yeah this is just what happened when the vision fund dies I hope there's a big queue to go and see it lying in state yeah yeah that's right all of us all five of us you're not gonna be queuing up to be like I at the monument to a while Green Sill obviously view I can't believe that do this to mr. Mosley that's right I thought he was never I thought he was I mean vision fund obviously was the stupid fund because

Starting point is 00:04:06 that's when they were really feeling themselves it's like the vision fund really was like Michael Jordan's brief baseball career to sport athlete like kind of the love of the game but also knowing self-conscious there's a bit out there bit wacky yeah this was kind of a bet that the underlying economic conditions would stay exactly the same forever and that there was no idea that was too stupid to make huge amounts of money so vision fund to I again I've combed it there's some fun stuff in there but got nothing like vision fund one so you know I'm actually kind of sad to see it like continue to fade away

Starting point is 00:04:40 see yeah sequels always disappointing except for avatar of the way of the way of the water which is gonna be great alright Mr. Masayoshi you would have loved avatar the way so next one is Saudi Arabia and OPEC to US yeah Liz trust not the only world leader in a dom sub relationship as we've seen yeah so where Joe Biden has asked OPEC to increase oil production amid spiking energy costs worldwide to which Saudi Arabia said sorry I don't recognize this number yes yeah after having gone sort of like hat in hand to to Riyadh and you know sort of writing off Khashoggi and everything else Biden has now finally

Starting point is 00:05:27 called in that favor and the Saudis have once again been like yeah I hear what you're saying but also no yeah like like fuck we let basically created the conditions and then more or less let them do 9-11 yeah there's still like they threatened to 9-11 Canada like yeah we let them threaten to do that yeah just like just basically just they were like whoa but take that back a country that just basically gets to a government really that gets to do everything globally on easy like the Tories play domestic politics on easy mode in Britain the Saudis play foreign international politics on easy mode

Starting point is 00:06:07 because essentially because just because of the US and just the one thing they're supposed to do they have been asked to do it twice in the last couple of years and both times have told the US to go fuck itself this is amazing I just don't okay Saudi Arabia is the only foreign country that I am a hawk about I am like Joe Biden should be going there fucking gun in hand walking into MBS's palace with a fucking M4 saying give me the fucking oil or I will regime change you client state of the US what are you doing why are you asking them nicely Joe just

Starting point is 00:06:50 go in there with your fucking ice cream and say listen up Mac you're going to lower the fucking oil price because if you don't you'll suddenly be getting your head very cut off by a bunch of people in your country who are suddenly very armed to the teeth yes somehow dark Brandon doesn't manifest yeah you're basically saying is the Iraq war just needed a different target exactly like all of us processes were fine just missed by like one country over that's right legally speaking we don't think it's about Saudi Arabia terms condition may be like oh please not 9-11 the studio yeah I'm just thinking about

Starting point is 00:07:27 this sort of like the stabilizing geopolitical force of US troops occupying Mecca you know that they're having it but all these US troops having to patrol Mecca like going around the car but in circles are accidentally becoming Muslim I'm like in the big hotel overlooking like the macabre he's like rubbing my hands of glee it's higher military's gone muslin another little bit of news as well is this is comes from a bogota where apparently the ethereum con has been held to me to me all ethereum is an ethereum con yeah I was gonna say if I was involved in hawking cryptocurrency I would

Starting point is 00:08:11 maybe avoid the word con yeah theory the gathering of the gathering of the ethereum developers for example the thing is you can make this stuff as unsettled as you want because all of the people who are into it are now too into it and they'll be like you know just went to scam con 22 so essentially what I mean you wonder why they why they would pick bogats a lot of them are saying it's only want to hire highlight like developers in the global south or whatever I again based on nothing I suspect it's because they want to get off that yay yeah it's very near cocaine I mean you can get cocaine anywhere I think it's like any convention ever it is like

Starting point is 00:08:50 where would I like a vacation to and like a somewhat fancy hotel than I would otherwise get this year well I think they just don't watch it that's been stepped on you know like if because like what the problem is when you get a brick you got to triple up if you want to flip it and in bogata that does not happen you know they've got the pure flake I don't know any of what you just said but sure yeah okay no no drug guy what do you want from me you know so in this case what happened though is basically a bunch of ethereum developers and like developers associated with ethereum have just been getting relentlessly robbed at the airport amazing great fantastic and bogata is not even like the dangerous bit of columbia no

Starting point is 00:09:32 so basically what happened with this salana team which is like another one of these cryptocurrencies that spiked and crashed whatever but that's supposed to be the next big whatever they all were wearing cover like dripping in crypto merchandise like the every article of clothing they were wearing said salana so they were wearing like a big kick me sign they basically wore a kick me rob rob me and kick me sign to bogata airport and got completely fucking wearing a huge outfit that says I am a nerd on it in 50 foot high neon glasses projecting out of my backpack I am a nerd I'm unable to defend myself I cannot really handle myself that well but I do have a lot of fake money some of which has been converted into real money and items

Starting point is 00:10:14 money which I will never be able to get back if it's stolen yeah just like an entering the airport and everybody starts following you like a James Bond movie there's a guy like looking through a newspaper with a set of eye holes cutting at you and just having absolutely no self-awareness so you're just like yeah look here 007 it's called looking like a fucking nerd try not to get robbed at the airport in this case what you're essentially doing is wearing a big t-shirt a t-shirt that has a big sign that says money on it and then your hat also says money and your back says money and your pants say money wait so this guy's either a nerd or a rapper anyway anyway so those are the bits of bits of fun little news items I have up top I wanted to to proceed into the mind of Musk

Starting point is 00:11:04 that's right Elon Musk the mad lad did it he finally appears to have asterisk bought twitter possibly if the deal goes through which is gonna say yeah it is what are the odds that he is once again gonna wriggle out of this jam easily I mean that's the thing I think probably not great because the court the his offer basically so to catch everyone up to catch everyone up the twitter was like okay we would like to depose you under oath and Elon Musk was like okay fine I will pay you 48 billion dollars anything to get out of having to tell the truth what were they gonna ask him what question was I can't think of anything anyone could ask me that I would pay 48 billion quid not to have asked him question one mr. Musk how long is your penis I mind you are

Starting point is 00:11:54 under oath would you describe this egg shaped sir do you have a normal size load mr. Musk I remind you you are under oath sir does grimes or does grimes not smell like a roll of nickels the people need to know so yeah but the slightly more big larger background on this is that if you recall due to having a bunch of friends who are aggrieved wealthy right-wingers such as Mark Endreson and Jason Culcanis and Rogan and all this stuff all the various nerds have been constantly like texting him his course of like orbiters and baiters people who are essentially people who are essentially very very convinced that I don't know there's vegan monday on a college campus and the fact that you know you can't call it cucked and soy without someone yelling at you as a free

Starting point is 00:12:43 speech issue well there's quite a lot of soy in it in fact there's quite a bit of soy yeah you can call it soy but lowercase so you can't call it up you can't call it soy in that way so essentially what happened is he this all came to a head around this idea to buy twitter which like as a company is like not a very good company no like it's it's it's um generally speaking it's very bad at targeting ads they don't actually make a whole hell of a lot off of ad revenue or like nothing like meta which is or google which is very good at targeting ads it's it's not very like fun to use like this is where his like his bot's thing is not 100 percent wrong it's like quite hindered as a service but on the other hand everyone who

Starting point is 00:13:29 is like important which is like you know vcs all this shit they like to use it so therefore it has to be a going concern forever well sort of it is i think partly because it it hasn't really found a good way of monetizing itself it's kind of the reason why it's the only functioning social network right like it's the only one that i can bear to use every other social network is so annoying i mean like obviously twitter is very annoying but twitter is annoying because of the content uh you heard it malo said twitter is not annoying so you should post overly familiar stuff at him do not mention me do not be in my mentions i will vanquish you um anyway uh yeah because like if you go on instagram it's like oh yeah like uh here's like 19 pictures from some accounts that aren't

Starting point is 00:14:11 even vaguely like accounts you followed you want to buy a shoe like it's just i certain and facebook is just you know you're aren't yelling about stuff actually my aunt's very nice not my aunt that's someone else another else and tiktok is like a weird combination of both yeah but usually someone else's aren't yelling at you for some issue yeah yeah who's like you can't fuck my husband who is a pest control operative okay only the best women are married to pest control operatives it's not cute to be a rat slot okay so uh but also in this case we also have a be real which seems to be i don't understand that one i don't want to understand it it's the it's the app where you tell on yourself because you take a picture of one thing and then it simultaneously takes a picture with the other

Starting point is 00:14:53 camera on your phone to see what else you're looking at but it takes them at slightly different times hmm so you can sort of like oh you take a picture here's what i'm doing and then it suddenly takes a picture of you pulling the worst face you've ever pulled because you've already taken the picture and then it's like i've posted it i hope you like it that's like what's the level beyond simulacrum simulation what's the level beyond simulation yeah simulation too yeah simulation too no so essentially as as a business twitter is um generally not useless it's not great it's not nothing but generally its main value proposition is very hard to monetize which is that um every you have a direct pipeline to the like unalloyed thoughts of everyone who matters in

Starting point is 00:15:37 the world apart from donald trump and you can't make money off of this somehow yeah but and also just the fact that it sort of just happened kind of almost semi by accident right where this somehow became the uh official press release and sort of communications channel for like every major company in government and many celebrities and it just sort of accidentally and and it just it's part of that um we talk so to a lot of academics right about the privatization of online space so they are the creation of online spaces that are private by default and just the fact that like the world's political discussion forum and the the place that like major things are announced also is run by like i don't know yeah like the um by the sort of like like the bearded

Starting point is 00:16:24 ayahuasca guy is just really sort of very strange anyway it's a bad business uh not a lot of people would reasonably want to own it and the price musk agreed to pay for it was a 420 joke that was from i imagine 2013 um yeah they don't and so uh effectively right jokie's done before he's paid huge amounts of money to do elon musk has paid billions or millions and millions soon to be billions of dollars because he likes to say 420 so people could be like oh epic he loves to do that and he also he also loves to like say he's going to do something and then not do it uh particularly when it becomes obvious that it's going to be it's going to involve any amount of work um as as happened with twitter and so as the deal rumbled on he changed his mind and

Starting point is 00:17:17 tried to get out of it only to find that he was caught dick first in a mousetrap and so the reason i think i is probably likely to go through is just the fact that like the courts at this point it's i think it's almost a foregone conclusion that the courts are going to force it through anyway or he's going to have to pay billions to get out of it and he's already spent so much money just trying yeah well because he committed legally to buy it and the and basically the buyout clause in the contract is almost as much as just buying it so you can either like pay like i don't know like 30 billion dollars to not own twitter or 40 billion dollars to own it so at that point you might as well just buy it the very funny thing right is that most of elan musk's wealth is in tesla stock

Starting point is 00:18:01 and so that means he would have to borrow against tesla stock or sell tesla stock which means that if tesla stock goes down uh for example let's say in a in a sort of um uh secular high rate environment where sort of speculative investments like that would go down then he would consistently have to make margin calls by doing the only thing he can do to raise money which is sell tesla stock crossing the price to go down for it but like clearly that can't happen because as as as a well-known colonel like told me uh this kind of vicious cycle of devaluing one's own stock through margin calls could not possibly be allowed to occur by a sensible regulatory body in any kind of sufficiently developed economy surely rally there must be safeguards in place to prevent this

Starting point is 00:18:47 kind of fast and loose behavior uh no and it's actually not weird that there isn't unfortunately for the colonel i'm afraid in this case the rhetorical question was no and it's reasonable that there are given the logic of the system my question is like assuming musk like actually does buy twitter which i don't think is like an inevitability even now does he keep it like at what point does he just like offload it to someone even dumber than him well in so many cases right i think um a lot of these big right wing projects and you also see it with like um the way that the the way that like the britain has been largely governed the last few years is that a lot of these fantasies about if we can only just unleash the right kind of force if we

Starting point is 00:19:32 can only make the one change we all agree needs to be made then our sort of perfect reality will just sort of naturally fall into place after and i would suspect that um a lot of the stories that a lot of these guys tell one another about twitter focus on the idea that it's a bad business because it's secretly run by liberals who are soy and like to work from home and all that stuff and not that it's a bad but not that it's a bad business because at base it's not very good as a business idea yeah and and like all of this cultural shit's kind of like a dog chasing a car right and that like you you you ask like what what change would elon make to twitter to make it more right wing like it already will not ban uh fucking libs of tiktok right like it basically won't ban you for

Starting point is 00:20:18 saying slurs there's very little that he would actually do to make it more right wing that hasn't already done i think he's he's just becoming a mod yeah that's what he wants is to be a mod thing which makes everyone miserable i was sort of thinking about like ones was because there are like uh from what i saw of like the text messages but also i remember like reading an article like a couple months ago where um like part of him sort of like continuing or at least sort of like feigning that he was interested in buying twitter was because he was like you know his text mates like the andresans and peter teal and stuff like that were kind of like yeah you know walk support you if you want to buy twitter and like you know uh don't worry too much about like the

Starting point is 00:21:00 like extra financial cost because like for them like it was advantageous or it is advantageous someone like elon musk will end up buying it and what seems to be not in a never again not an inevitability but something that i think is quite likely is that the people around musk who are kind of telling him these stories and reinforcing these kind of like ideas again that like you know if we can control you know if we have like control over this type of digital infrastructure then we can kind of like you know we can sort of you know get rid of wokeness once and for all or whatever you know i don't know exactly what they say and i imagine that like he's sort of being i can imagine elon musk kind of like owning twitter but not really caring that much about it and so the people

Starting point is 00:21:45 who are invested in like having more control over like how twister actually works and what's allowed on and what isn't and who is allowed on and who isn't um we'll have like a lot more kind of uh we'll have like a lot more power to do that um i don't know what that looks like in practice especially because you know when you hear these guys talk about twitter or you hear them talk about social media um it is often in these kind of like bizarre and like like increasingly paranoid like terms so we've like covered it in terms of uh you know twitter is not a profitable company because like the woke left are running it and often it's not even about like they don't really talk about much about like it as a profitable business for them they sort of recognize it as like a

Starting point is 00:22:26 distributor of information and they would very much like it to sort of be overtly on their side without kind of like admitting to that so i imagine that like the advantage of having musk and control of it means that they are going to they they'll they'll feel like that's going to be a much more likely outcome what might what will be interesting to see is what they do when they kind of realize that there's not really any sort of tweaks that they can do to make it work in the way that they want it to work but if they will make one if they wanted to work in the way they actually want it to work they really have to change how twitter works and buy and then basically just make it into an extension of truth social um and like basically turn it into a different platform

Starting point is 00:23:09 i have a lot of the the text here in front of me that have been released as part of this uh this case um and towards the end we talk about what musk has said he wants it to do and be and what that means uh so basically one of his first ideas was a blockchain based version of twitter where you have to pay a small amount of dogecoin per comment or retweet yeah and this was like so immediately horrible to even his own beloved reply guys that he sort of jumped off of that it's because like it would be able to process like maybe a thousand tweets a minute maybe yeah that's about as many as a cent i think yeah i assume so um i kind of support that in a in a way i don't know like few tweets might actually be kind of good just to be like shut up shut the fuck up all of you

Starting point is 00:23:55 right um and also jack dorsi was kind of a um uh a a kind of renfield for musk of course uh saying that musk's acquisition of twitter uh making it open source and funded by a dow so like that just a foundation that sort of doesn't own the protocol let's say he says this is the right and only path i'll continue to do whatever it takes to make it work uh jack dorsi who goes by jack jack and musk's phone told musk atrocious but what i think is very funny is uh most of most of his texts to elon were basically a different attempts to rat fuck uh park agarwal is his replacement so i'll do anything to get you buying to buy this fucking dog shit company yeah yeah yeah you you have to view this as like extended office drama essentially also a parag agarwal

Starting point is 00:24:44 has barely been rat fucked because uh twitter stock is way up because musk has to pay so much for it you don't understand elon he was using my mark um so what i think is very funny is uh new zanker gale king said uh said to elon elon you're buying twitter or offering to buy twitter now don't you think we should sit down together face to face as the kids of today say this is a gangsta move oh wow meanwhile in the course of getting this he has had three more texts from jack that are essentially just like some i think you should leave shit over like parag made fun of my hat with the like flaps down the back please murder him yeah and then he had a text from bill gross that said this is a rask yeah uh and musk then said maybe opera should join the board if i buy twitter

Starting point is 00:25:37 yeah why not yeah cool just make just like just the board of twitter what's the thought process that gets you from gangsta move to opera my god is it the case that like i feel like elon musk increasingly feels a bit like zuckerberg like a kind of like an alien pretending to be a person it is like uh maybe i should get uh human celebrity opera winfrey to join the board of the company would that be amusing i mean really it feels as like a sort of high-end charity telethon is going to be the board like yo if you call up you can speak to um you can speak to the a team's face man who is also on the board of twitter he should let me choose the board look we should be getting barry more antony castor from blue we're talking chico we're talking duncan from blue why not let's

Starting point is 00:26:26 get him in there as well all blue how about yeah what about yeah all the cast of here say let's get those guys in there uh jerry halliwell great perfect what should be run by by british people who were last relevant in the early 2000s exactly they're the people who should steve brookstein i mean i mean to be fair like they're probably the only ones left who would actually be kind of optimistic about technology so yeah i think this could we have the guy from fake taxi big big john is he called oh yeah big john yeah we got big john from fake taxi this is funny joe lonsdale of palantir said uh our public squares need to not have arbitrary sketchy censorship um lonsdale then said even governor disantis just called me now with ideas of how to help you

Starting point is 00:27:15 his state his state's like flooded yeah this is the most important thing he has to be doing i mean genuinely it really is like this is something that will like help him be president much more than anything domestically yeah that's fair yeah absolutely uh governor disantis just called me uh called now with ideas to help you and outrages at that board and saying the public is rooting for you uh that's right gov ron disantis has asked every school child in florida to stand together with candles and spell out elon musk stop please uncensor twitter uncock twitter elon musk yeah i met this remarkable young man who said i i can't think if i was off my head he's gonna get all the school children to jump up and down in every playground across the florida

Starting point is 00:27:58 to create a kind of shock waves that will be felt in washington like you do not want to create extra shock waves in florida is it an earthquake area you might don't want to summon a tsunami i think you could probably do it be fine try it see what happens if you if you live in florida and you're listening to this just get together with some friends just jump up and down for a bit see what happens i was gonna say alice uh do you remember or hasain possibly also uh when they literally did get all the school children in britain to go out in the playground and jump up and down at the same time and then to measure it on the rick to scale and of course on the scale it was zero it was undetectable yeah they should have gotten big guys it was it was a great it was a

Starting point is 00:28:35 great early example to me that like what you do personally doesn't matter and isn't right i i went to like a catholic primary school and thinking back onto it there were a lot of things i wasn't able to do because i wasn't catholic and i think that might have been one of them well you're not allowed to jump i wasn't allowed to the big jump i can't jump that's right it's all not a catholic school they can i just don't remember it so i just assumed that like yeah you probably like had to sort of sit in the room while they all did like catholic stuff like you know get the wafer and do the big jump yeah the pope shall now lead everyone in a hymn of jump around um so uh jack lonsdale then said let me know if you or somebody else on your side wants to chat with kibbit ron

Starting point is 00:29:12 desantis to which most must replied ha ha cool and then stopped replying in time oh that's so funny that's so funny that's what desantis never did president he's too much of a pussy he had ever ever represented him he does have this like real loser energy i saw that picture of him today with like uh just doing the virgin walk with joe biden where he's doing the virgin walk and is like a feminine uh uh welly like wellington boots but don't quite fit him he has like a very odd boots yeah and he has like a very odd shape as well like he's kind of like i mean look being oddly shaped has never prevented anyone from getting to the american presidency oh no i don't like i don't know whether it'll like affect his chances i imagine in some ways it might actually like

Starting point is 00:29:53 benefit him like and so like desantis versus pritzker the like big weirdly shaped dude election yeah it was like yeah real sort of loser energy like stunts so the shape of donald trump is so hard to even imagine what his skeleton is like you see some pictures of him standing and you're like i just don't understand how this is fitting together under we're gonna have to like reconstruct him like a dinosaur yeah like what's with his lower back curve yeah there's some parts where like the middle of his back is so much further forward than his ass that you're kind of like how is this you know they're baffling it's like a cryptid yeah what's up with that dude so i've got more so i have some more texts here that are really funny adjacent calcana so we've

Starting point is 00:30:36 talked about in this show before um also offered more unsolicited advice um including his suggestion to cut twitter's workforce by more than half to make its revenue more favorable again it's like i guess if you want the bad site to be worse um day zero calcana's writes sharpen your blades boys two day a week office requirement equals 20 voluntary departure yeah yeah it's fucking pole pot but paul is like the h n board but this is this is gonna be that was really funny come on it is but this one's specifically laser targeted for who's saying this next text um he also suggested that twitter should hire mr beast amazing i thought you were gonna say mr bean and i was just like yeah that's all of us is talking to um he cocktail caster he can desoy twitter well i well like

Starting point is 00:31:27 because mr beast sort of modeled himself on elon musk right or at least like he kind of like that's who he cites is his uh his kind of like ambition to be so i wouldn't be surprised if that would happen purely just on the basis that elon kind of likes people that will just sort of like worship him they're already putting him on the board but what would miss the social experiment i give this homeless man a seat on twitter's board yeah what would like mr beast do like what would he do on the sweater because he's not i have a fuck sake i don't know please mr beast was my father i feel like jeremy i feel like with all these ideas this very much it's like yeah fuck it like what cuz like none of these people really care about it as a business none of them really

Starting point is 00:32:07 care about it as like an internet community for them like the past few years twitter has just sort of been like this kind of uh they've reified twitter basically to kind of and just like use it to sort of project their kind of like paranoia like paranoia and their conspiracy theories and just they're also kind of like endless sense of victimhood as well um and now what's going to be very funny to see but also which could be kind of scary to see as well is well what happens when like their their victimhood is kind of vindicated they suddenly get access to you know while a not particularly profitable platform certainly a very influential one um and one that like has had like kind like quite demonstrable like material effects like what happens when they just sort of

Starting point is 00:32:51 decide to extend its worst excesses even because they genuinely believe that like this is how things should work or they have like a kind of uh romanticized idea of an internet that never existed but the one where they were allowed to be as racist as they wanted to without like any kind of like pushback or repercussion but ultimately is very much like what happens when like they just get to fuck things up because that's really what they want to do right and like imagine for like a lot for some of the people that are contacting musk um and like really kind of encouraging him to like buy twitter you know uh there are certain indications that they very much would actually like to kind of see this platform then see the worst excess of it like actually come out

Starting point is 00:33:32 in the real world and kill a bunch of people yeah i mean i think you you asked and answered your own question right like i think that's exactly what would happen um if these people just like because all these right wing social media sites like we've talked about them in the whole specials on like right wing tech like grievance driven right wing tech projects and they never work because like everyone's too much of a slippery piece of shit to like keep from backstabbing one another in the bootstrapping phase and also network effects like no one wants to be on the fucking like the angry posting website where like it's the only people who are on it are like four like middle aged men like that's not gonna it's why like the conservative dating app just immediately flopped

Starting point is 00:34:11 because there are no women on it did you hear that thing that apparently it was like they it was asking people as a sign-up question whether or not they were involved in january 6 and then everyone who said yes had like the cops at their door the next day febe is fully convinced that it's an fbi off the conservative dating app that's great because like they like police right so yeah thank you for your service the fbi comes and visits you at your house you can show them your gun collection you find you'll you'll finally get your like you know you'll finally get your high-terot testosterone man it's so funny like this is these are all these are all guys who like would be duped like homer was by the free boat giveaway police station yeah for sure hundred percent i would

Starting point is 00:34:54 they sent the femboy fbi to arrest them just but i think like we say right you know this is um they try to bootstrap this stuff it never really works and so a lot of these guys who've been kind of radicalized by the same shit just buying an already successful one that actually like you know is has the potential to like increase stuff like um as we talked about like stochastic violence and stuff it's not it's not good and because the thing is like increase stochastic like twitter already does that like as you say like libs of tiktok is still around and you know like like it's still like you know posting videos of of of if a teacher is like you know i'm it's it's lgbt day or whatever yeah yeah for sure you know like that it's and i think they only it seems

Starting point is 00:35:39 like they only want to increase that tendency while also having a bunch of other stupid ideas but in terms of identifying a real thing actually about twitter and not just moronic soundboard that's a thing they've identified and that they seem to like and want more of back to back to the lighthearted stupid texts make fun of calcannis then went on to sour the relationship he had with musk oh no by syndicating the opportunity to invest in it to a bunch of people who would invest like in the hundreds of thousands to which musk then said i can't believe you got a bunch of randos in a year um yeah this is going to be a cool tree house by me and the guy to which calcannis said you know i'm ride or die brother i jump on i jump on i mean he means to say grenade

Starting point is 00:36:25 but he says i jump on a grand day for you that's right if we were in starbucks i jump on a grand day um so we say what do we want it for right what does he actually want to do with it and as much as he wants to find a gf because that's how he found his last year what does he actually want what does he actually want it for is because he's basically just is you know can't really can't really you know regulate himself he can't articulate that to himself i think the answer is he doesn't want it yeah he's worked out that he has biased remorse what he said he wants with it is to turn it into um an everything app which we don't really have in the west generally just like turn into one big racism but yeah just press it well it's he wants to turn it

Starting point is 00:37:08 more specifically into a version of we chat for the us and uk and western europe and places that you know use a lot of twitter or also something like grab in the philippines which actually i believe is softbank funded um write in and tell me that i'm right don't tell me if i'm wrong and what these apps are essentially is they are a chat app like we chat in china's a chat app but then what they did is they rolled out a feature um at new year um so i'm like a decade ago or whatever that lets you send money through we chat in like a little red envelope and so everyone put their bank details into we chat and all of a sudden we chat becomes the primary digital payment methodology of china and then um that does there's more there's that this could never

Starting point is 00:37:54 happen here without robust antitrust like this surely uh any self-respecting colonel would uh would know the point in the podcast at which he would ask a seemingly rhetorical question about the state of affairs at hand only to be shockingly corrected heart today uh so essentially right this is so this is the idea of a super app right you can just you take this one central thing and then just load shit onto it so facebook is trying to become that because they've got meta pay now they have facebook marketplace but facebook marketplace seems to mostly be a place for guys with their dicks out to sell mirrors like oh my god i can't believe i got my dick in the mirror are you angry about the immigrants do you want to buy this cabinet

Starting point is 00:38:43 and so you know you can see sort of some of that start to happen right in in the west but it hasn't really taken you aren't done a quiz that you did when you were 14 about your boyfriend she's 60 years old not my aunt ones aunt once again my love son has not been involved in any of these activities um so but grab is another example where um you can order a lot of food so it's so we just started the messaging app grab started as a delivery app like um uber eats for example um and so in you can say this is an article about grab or a woman says i mostly use grab to get a ride home after a night out order a takeaway but many also use the send parcels and documents or shop online one colleague purchased a home karaoke set and you can add extensions to it to um

Starting point is 00:39:29 yeah you know musk wants you to be able to buy a home karaoke set through twitter and is that such a bad thing yeah the lives of tiktok branded karaoke set and then also you can do other things like you can buy uh ferry tickets and transport karaoke sex it's always being silenced and uh you can even take out credit uh through uh through the app right so he already had paypal like if he wanted to be like a sort of a widespread payment processor and sort of pseudo bank he already was that what yeah but now he wants one now it's posts now it's also posts yeah and again i i suspect what happened is he was like fuck i gotta buy twitter all right well i guess i need a new world changing ambition uh you know that i can sort of say is gonna be why i've done this so everyone

Starting point is 00:40:19 can believe i have this master plan imagine if you could post about your balls and order a burger con at the same time i don't let my dreams be dreams you know right and so but the thing is right these these super apps um generally speaking uh number one all it does is let's say bring huge amounts of very easily correlatable data under one roof and in this case under the control of one annoying guy um so it's essentially a um it is a uh let's say surveillance uh accelerant but also like remember how um at any time you you write about elon musk and the fact that you know he never fails to you know fucking fail in anything um it's just like okay so he's the guy who is transforming the world through the power of his own sort of heroic ability to rest

Starting point is 00:41:14 technology and social change and whatever from his pure ability right he's his now just think oh yeah what if you could pay for something on twitter is this your fucking god is this the best thing you can do is just buy more things from your couch and post more and just pay it's all you're doing is putting more activities in the phone on one app as though that is somehow things you can do them all from your phone already that's just on just on different apps yeah just on different ones yeah i don't need them all in the same app but like what if they were different what if they were the same app you know like what if you could be real while you were eating you could you could save literally seconds i've been trying to come up with like a very a smart line about imagining

Starting point is 00:41:59 flying cars and all you get is just the one app that does everything but i i haven't been able to think about it but it feels kind of like if someone was smarter than me to like be able to kind of yeah i don't know like write it the flying car guy or at least the guy who was like presented himself as being the innovator of like public like of transport to now like his kind of grand idea because he's sort of been forced into it by his own stupidity and addiction to posting being like uh what if yeah what if you could post a nude and also get a big burger um and get a taxi for some reason well it's like because remember right these all of that stuff that i described is on the other um on the other everything apps really like all of it is either just

Starting point is 00:42:42 occluded labor right because it's not the app bringing you your dinner it's not the app that's like selling you the karaoke set or just a way to connect with other existing services that's it that's all because it's always funny when like two services are linked together that shouldn't be you know like when it's has the like share to facebook option on porn hub um i was recently chatting to a guy at a party who said that a friend of his had like in like the sort of late 2000s had had come out of like he'd been in jail on like a fairly long stretch and so that kind of like both facebook and porn hub hadn't really been a thing in the time like before he was in prison and he came out and immediately got on facebook and also immediately started masturbating to

Starting point is 00:43:21 internet pornography obviously as a self-respecting man would do upon leaving prison and then he saw the like share to facebook thing on porn hub and he in a way that actually when you think about it's not entirely unreasonable interpreted that this button was there because like that was a thing that you would do when and that he's like oh i guess like the cultural mores have moved on dumb thing yeah and we now and we're now sharing our pornography on facebook and so apparently he was just like regularly like doing sharing the porn that he was watching on facebook what was this your aunt yes my aunt who went to it went to jail and um and then apparently used to be allowed to take him aside and be like you need to just don't don't press that button what's also

Starting point is 00:44:00 kind of funny about all of this whether it's just like the sort of fake ambition he has to build like the everything app which again like is very much a something that he's just like pulled out of his ass because he has put himself in this position by being addicted to posting but also all this shit that people are telling him because they're also addicted to posting and like ultimately what they are trying to do or like what will happen whether they're trying to do about not a different question is if they're just going to make the internet like completely unusable like more unusable than it already is because right now it's just kind of like fucking chaotic because most of it is filled with ads and websites that don't work and like the

Starting point is 00:44:36 things that do work are also also like social media apps which are just like just pushing content at you at faster and faster rates and just get stupider and stupider as it goes and like the for the right-wing guys who are very um who are very invested in buying twitter for them is just like well we want to like own the libs as much as we can by making the internet sort of unusable for them until they sort of are forced to leave not really thinking about well what happens when like you know most normal like when like normal people leave you know what happens when you do sort of just get this sort of weird right-wing you know paradise on twitter um and then for Elon like his kind of his sort of like more optimistic view at least he's presenting it is one which is

Starting point is 00:45:21 also just going to make everything kind of unusable as well because there's not again like in the same way of like in the same format as every fucking elon project it's like okay well you've imagined this and you've done like a little drawing of it probably but like how is this going to work and what are you going to do and like what are the logistics of it and then the same way it's like fucking answer your question yeah well it won't yeah nothing and not right because it's like the because it is the elon playbook of just like kicking the can down the road for whether for like evil malicious purposes like with hyperloop or just because he's a very stupid guy who like people seemingly just kind of love giving money to well the the irony is that it will make

Starting point is 00:46:01 twitter paradoxically more soy because if you consider the amount of shit that he puts in teslas it's you know twitter's gonna have a fart button soon it's gonna have shit like that finally a button on the computer that he's gonna have an epic mode where it helps you post racial slurs yeah for sure so uh in in conclusion uh elon musk is auditioning to be the new boss of posting uh let's see if he does i mean kind of thumbs down elon is a lifetime bitch uh he almost almost certainly bluffing i all believe it when i see it and also i would like to see him both take twitter and hold it uh elon musk with his bad food app yes so uh i i want to talk maybe for maybe a few we're going to go a little longer than an hour today i'm being dragged off of my

Starting point is 00:46:48 iron discipline uh because i do want to talk a little bit about the tori party conference not because it's an article man not because of anything uh is i don't want to see i even talking up too much i just giggled while i was putting it in and i want to share it all with you my friends oh it's a childlike glee okay uh which but i want to talk about the tori party conference first not because like anything of substance uh happened at it oh good um yeah it's one of these as we try and avoid that where possible as we've said about a lot of like the budgets that they've announced these are purely historical curiosities like events will overtake them very quickly and i have uh right but uh and so much of the speech is sort of sets out that that

Starting point is 00:47:27 truss gave sort of set out a lot of the sort of same uh bug bears except they've got a new bug bear which is they've specifically targeted podcasters that's truss two podcasters this is this is my fault this is my fault i'm sorry podcaster is being the new gay that's all my thoughts that's that is true i'm sorry that i said all of the things about the day color it might be it is true and it is accurate journalism but what i've accidentally done is i've made us public enemy number one i know which is but i mean we we're on team hancock you know we can't be allowed to exist by truss administration she knows that he he is the podcaster prime minister in waiting he's the occluded prime minister why didn't it did she mean like podcasts in north london specifically

Starting point is 00:48:12 because we're not in you know to be fair to us i mean really north london we actually have to have me on the podcast for the same reason that the bbc has to make like a quarter of their dramas in sheffield or whatever it's like regional diversification uh and so this is this is the actual snippet of the speech she says i will not allow the anti-growth coalition to hold us back and then basically um lists everyone who's not a slice of the conservative party members and some hedge fund guys yeah the following the following is a list of everyone who has ever been mean to me number one podcasters number two pork market owners labor the lib dems in the s&p classic playing the hits the militant unions the vested interest dressed up as think tanks

Starting point is 00:49:01 cough cough uh isn't she a fucking ia creature don't talk to me about think tanks and then in the next one i think tanks have a vested interest strangely uh the talking heads to which i would say um please show her the movie stop making sense and maybe she'll come around that's right thank you everybody how did i get here how can i work this yeah i'm sick and tired of david burn and his big suits they are a disgrace buy a suit that fits david yeah absolutely they're talking about a psycho killer and they're glorifying it as though it's something to laugh about well maybe david if your family were murdered by a criminal you wouldn't find it so funny speaking french of all things absolutely and advocating arson as well property destruction uh so the

Starting point is 00:49:57 talking heads the brexit deniers uh who i i haven't heard um an extinction rebellion and some of the people we had in the hall earlier because there was a protester the fact is they prefer protesting to doing and i'll say one thing easier and fun too yeah i'll say one thing is um i heard a lot of that uh just that idea be sort of casually deployed by a lot of the labor right for a while glad to see that um you know it's not as though this becoming a broadly acceptable thing because it was convenient to use against your momentary enemies hasn't you know again just become now something that can be turned against you no weapon formed against me um shall shall prosper says labor right so this is where the bit comes in about north london they taxi from north london

Starting point is 00:50:48 townhouses to the bbc studio to dismiss anyone challenging the status quo the bbc offer attack look the bbc when you are invited on bbc show and it's only happened to me once um they offer you a taxi it's it there's not often you get offered a taxi you're going to take it yeah from dartford yeah legit legit from their flats in dartford i only i only i only ever did it once and the taxi driver was so pissed off that he had to drive all the way back there and like what was supposed to be like a very enjoyable moment for me because i've never like i've always had to take public transport the guy was just moaning the whole time he was like i can't believe you live this fucking far and i was like i can't believe you live so far i'm gonna be late for that focus group

Starting point is 00:51:28 for liztrust so i imagine that taxi driver was part of like the liztrust focus group that then led to that so i'm very sorry that i had to go online right i just say ronnie went very andrew tight when he said they taxi from their flats in dartford your dodgy bbc interviewees uh they taxi from north london townhouses to the bbc studio to dismiss anyone challenging the status quo from broadcast to podcast they peddle the same yeah whoever wrote that like okay where i wrote that is a lyrical sat back in the chair like fully like damn i'm good at their shit it's so funny buying little zingers like that for liztrust as well because she has no delivery from broadcast to podcast yeah yeah she's quite a caster i feel like i feel like boris would have done like quite

Starting point is 00:52:18 good with that line she just like yeah it just kind of falls yeah yeah broadcast to podcast yeah it is better in boris yeah it's a lot better uh like i can hear it better in starma voice even that's how bad she is like broadcast they taxi from their north london houses down to the bbc studio and then from broadcast to podcast yes thank you they refuse to acknowledge anything which challenges the status quo and they show a complete lack of concern for working families i think liztrust would really like going on like call her daddy or something you'd have a lot of fun oh i think she's calling someone daddy oh i have a couple more here uh mistrust also insisted that she would not use her premiership to tell the british what to do or think or how to live your life she said this

Starting point is 00:53:09 included how many two for one offers you buy at the supermarket great thank you i was sick of fucking politicians doing that to me you know i i simply think if you're gonna go two for one offer no you should try and bring in a bit of balance for example if you're buying the two for one on chocolate bars at the till i think it's reasonable to enjoy a full fat chocolate bar such as a yorkie but i think it makes sense to pair it with something a little bit more healthy like a dairy milk fruit and nut or a raisin and biscuit yorkie or even a kit cat which is quite a low calorie option and i think getting something like two yorkies or a yorkie at a caramel whisper is is too far and i think encouraging that kind of behavior is irresponsible sick of this nanny

Starting point is 00:54:02 state shit um let me get just uh she's she's playing the hits uh and by playing the hits i mean talking about uh coupons just awkwardly covering the hits yeah she's awkwardly covering the hits by which of course i mean talking about coupon deals which i admit i i personally i find that nanny state isn't to be a bit annoying and stupid and something that you do if you don't want to give people like actual ways to like eat yeah it's like 90 percent of s&p policy uh same as like minimum alcohol pricing and stuff it is liberal snp being annoying and stupid how come on but but but but right that this is the sort of the fact that two for one offers at the supermarket get a line in the speech while it's been acknowledged that we will have probably blackouts this winter

Starting point is 00:54:49 seems to once again fail to grasp the seriousness of the situation she's she's awkwardly covering the hits to the extent that like that girl like x-factor melasia was singing lian rimes as ken lee like this is this is the level of just like awkwardness because she doesn't have that grasp of like bombasticism that like trump or even or even boris had like she can't she can't do it she can't be a reactionary like it doesn't come naturally to her she's like she's trying to like do reactionary fun politician by numbers she can be a reactionary pen pusher but she can't sell it yeah that's what i mean isn't she doesn't have she's trying to be reactionary fun guy but she doesn't have it in it she's also like really do you suggest talking to like ia types who would

Starting point is 00:55:34 genuinely get excited by the idea of like someone not telling you how many like chocolate bars you can buy or like whether you're allowed to smoke in pubs or not i think it's another also go ahead please what was i was going to say it falls flat like even at a tory party conference where like more than half of the room are just like do you realize how fucked everyone is and do you realize that there's not really any coming back from this which was partly why like the whole u-turn happened but even when the u-turn happened um and like people were asked but i think oh and jones did like quite good video on it a couple of other people like did some reporting on it as well where they're like well even with the u-turn in mind like none of it really matters because

Starting point is 00:56:10 well everything is fucked um you know and just like the idea that well the realization that we spoke about like in uh uh the episode we did with gary like i think people who like the people you know there are people last week's premium episode yes there are people who are now going to be like who have got mortgages and who have like debts that are sort of the natural part of being kind of like the aspirational middle class but are now like completely fucked or they are sort of like on the proximity of getting completely fucked and there's not really any way to go about it the fact that like people's energy bills are still more than doubling in spite of like what intervention sort of took place the fact that like mortgage rates are still rising um like the stuff that the

Starting point is 00:56:50 government can't control it's like so the idea of like playing the hits but it's like not even playing the hits that are bops regardless of the situation is sort of like playing songs that were maybe number one like for a few weeks and then you know why is the d-day playing summertime sadness it's not even summer she's doing there's no one like grandma she's like and she's playing to like the fans who like b-sides right and and you know in this case being like the iea and all the sort of like fucking nerds of like tufton street who are still like desperately being like oh this is still a better situation than like what would have happened under corbin and like you know uh you know as we spoke about as well like you know certain kind of members of those groups that

Starting point is 00:57:32 in light of everything that's happening and crucially getting what they wanted have now just sort of gone truly insane by doing like more corbin fanfiction um yeah like i you know it just sort of felt it did yeah it just sort of feels like even by the scale of the triumph that like she all the crowd that she's sort of like trying to play towards it doesn't quite hit in the way that she really wished it i'll tell you what what else is happening right among the mps she's now getting like betrayed and double betrayed by everyone who support her from the left of the conservative passing to the right by nadine doris nadine doris no the nadine doris one is so funny just because she has the only scientifically correct position

Starting point is 00:58:15 that's possible to have in british politics now which is boris johnson irredentism amazing i mean the thing you don't understand with lis trust is you know there's a method in our madness because you know if it's if as susane was saying you know your energy bills have doubled your mortgage has doubled what do you need you need a two for one offer that's right but also the other thing is right it's it's who could have guessed that this the kinds of like flatterers greasy poor climbers and backstabbers who would have been tori mps elected like from 2010 and beyond would become a kind of ungovernable mess when they sensed weakness i don't know possibly have imagined that but also right like if you want to know if in my opinion right with the

Starting point is 00:58:56 given the environment that we are in given the media environment that we are in given the structure of political parties in the uk i think it's pretty reasonable to form the hypothesis that the main driver of political change is whatever splinter party appears in the tori's right to provide the right wing answer to whatever the crisis is right because we are just in this sort of overlapping poly crisis and the right wing answer last time was brexit and then it was just like scrapping cova restrictions and stuff and now right the reform uk that political party which rich richard ties co-founded is now mostly again in a in a winter that will probably have power cuts campaigning against net zero and for more like fracking and false at least it was at

Starting point is 00:59:44 least it's not me again you know because that would that's the like more explicitly fascist thing your patriotic alternative is uh grooming and like uh fucking sex education and oh i mean i hate to do so i mean i hate to disappoint you but also you know if you saw what would happen at the lgbt conservatives event again the party kind of lost control of this thing that was momentarily convenient for it among its base because essentially a bunch of conservative members who were all there at conservative conference spent the last three years on fucking facebook and looking at libs of tiktok or whatever went to the lgbt uh conservatives party and had to get fucking removed jesus no i didn't see this fuck well i mean play stupid games win stupid prizes

Starting point is 01:00:26 i guess being an lgbt tori but fuck me yeah so like this is like that this there it's not like that there's just one particular issue right like these all these issues are sort of overlapping just as all the crises are overlapping but um you know i mean this is yeah fantastic this is what's coming out of tori conference and if you want to know and that's what's in the tori party now right and already there like all the like like homophobia and and transphobia and all this stuff is all in tori party now obviously it has been for a long time but it is it it has shed essentially what has happened is the membership that it feels like the sort of the sort of let's say the cameron era right is over and i think again like this is going to be something that the that the

Starting point is 01:01:12 big wigs in charge have lose control of uh and it's sort of again like overtakes them like just like all their bashing of net zero which a lot of them have realized fuck this is actually a a pretty good industry for us and b a good way for to promote capital expansion and c probably just pretty important to do if we want to take the long term interest of the wealthy into account all of those people again who've spent a lot of time very conveniently bashing um promoting climate change skepticism rather uh now once again they're being outflanked on their right by by richard tice uh who again is me is powerful because he is making what appears to be a common sense point uh but if you live in this world if you live in this country if you're suffused in our

Starting point is 01:01:53 media and politics that seems like a common sense point and that you'd have to be an egghead to not believe it so once again you have to look like mark andryson once again uh could the conservative conservative big wigs have uh played themselves and as a consequence everyone else yeah what it kind of felt like because like i think we often forget or like it's easy to sort of forget that like the cameron co the cameron like support and the revival of like oh and this like the idea of like the modern tory like that sort of kind of co like coalition and that was sort of cultivated for a very long time and also like the extreme elements that were always there were kind of like contained in different ways they were either like contained by the party infrastructure or a

Starting point is 01:02:31 lot of it sort of um a lot of it was like contained in sort of like the uh eurosceptic movement of that time um and so like it was much more easy to manage and the problem is is that now that the eurosceptic like movement is not really there so much or they're like far more interested in like covid conspiracies but generally that they're also just getting more radicalized by posts um and you're right like i think that this is going to be a political problem more generally that like it will just be far more difficult to like kind of build coalitions of voters or build coalition like build political coalitions that um can work within like a parliamentary democratic process but i think with the tories like it will be interesting to sort of see especially when like

Starting point is 01:03:11 you know and it's very likely that labor will kind of win by you know somewhat decide i don't know like how big the majority but they'll win by default and they'll win and they'll have a majority by some sort of bath party margin for the rest of it like you know it's gonna look like a moustache yeah can you start with a bunch of medals on his jacket mysteriously but because they'll sort of win on the basis of like you know we'll continue to manage the decline but like in a slightly more kind of organized way and we'll kind of bring some more consultancies into it um it'll kind of mean that like during the sort of tory rest period which is sort of like what most of the people at the tory conference from what i heard from you know uh uh people that were there

Starting point is 01:03:46 like they're all sort of expecting like it's i imagine they'll be very likely that for the younger generation of tories they'll just sort of be much more um i don't know yeah they'll become a lot more radicalized by posts and what we'll sort of see is like much more sort of extreme elements that uh why i guess like you know to put it in like simpler terms a lot of the stuff that we're sort of seeing from like patriotic front and all these sort of far right groups that are protesting or like not either protesting is not the right word but are sort of like showing up outside of libraries uh like that are hosting sort of like trans with events with trans people um you know and when those guys are there it's not because they're like protesting against like trans people

Starting point is 01:04:25 just because of that they're also trying to recruit people and they're using like recruitment tactics that are very much just like making common sense point or like using common sense points and like re appropriating them into like nationalist talking points and you can sort of see that for like younger tories are getting very you know they're sort of getting very enthralled by that i wouldn't be surprised if like the kind of during that period of time what we will see is a much more kind of culturally radicalized Tory party that the Labour Party will not really have any interest in engaging with um yeah and i until like it becomes too late and then they have to engage with it too i think that's that's probably that's probably right and i think Rachel Reeves is ready

Starting point is 01:05:04 to fucking lead the charge to like just yeah just go all in on that you know if you if you saw her thing her criticism of the the Tories at the moment is really deporting anyone which is fucked up of them because they should be yeah you said you said there would be deportations and i'm looking and i'm not seeing deportations i love that my wife she's very concerned with the matter of the deportations where are the deportations and so on i'm holding the Tories to account on their own terms by being like well these racism numbers that you've got here they're much lower than you claim they would be look there's been far you're perpetrating far less than you look you've made a promise to voters about the amount of racism you would do and you're you're under I love it's

Starting point is 01:05:43 so good that kind of like managerial like they're incapable of seeing things other than in like ah more broken promises yeah well because like you know her thing and i'll make this point very quickly was just like the processing is taking too long and this that's like holding back deportation and i would and i wouldn't be surprised if like the evolution of that will be like well under labor we'll make the process of deportation much more efficient by introducing an app um yeah and also there'll also be a hyperloop yeah directly to rewanda directly to rewanda you can post about your bulls order a burger con and get deported all in one app look i'm breaking my own cardinal rule here and i'm going long i'm introducing a new segment

Starting point is 01:06:22 after an hour which i never do but i just i found this article i thought was very cute and so i'm deciding to read it it is it's about two fluffy animals that my friend no it's about it's a new it's a new york times article about mckinsey's consulting with the tobacco industry so i'm just taking a few little bits because there are just a few bits i want to get to but essentially uh mckinsey i mean look anyone listening to this podcast will know that you know if a company says we love to live our values and mckinsey's like our values are fairness and social impact or whatever you can all know they're just doing whatever the client needs like that's the point of mckinsey is to do whatever the client needs and with the what the client needs is a

Starting point is 01:07:02 big pdf that just says what if there was a second moon in neom then that's what they're gonna fucking get um so yeah but to provide this veneer of like operational efficiency over it yeah yeah yeah so uh and so this is from there and as you know of course they also consulted with perdu pharma uh they were like you know if you addict everyone to opioids then they'll buy more painkillers which is a brilliant thing to no one's ever realized that before it's not as though there have been wars fought over that particular thing um i'd love to have seen that power point that would be a great like some like 24 year old like graduate who's just like uh opioids are very addictive and if you're next slide please so uh this is about its work with the tobacco industry

Starting point is 01:07:50 mckinsey began counseling the tobacco industry in 1956 when researchers had already reported counseling is a very funny choice of word here like because of its trauma reported data suggesting that smoking appeared to cause cancer back then philip morris hired mckinsey to conduct a wall to wall examination of its manufacturing operation uh consultants visited plants interview managers and studied sales figures in a subsequent study they recommended how the company should set up its research department but this report was significant for another reason it foreshadowed the industry's transformation from a largely agricultural product to a scientifically engineered cigarette with fine-tuned nicotine levels citing the development of reconstituted tobacco so

Starting point is 01:08:28 basically in this case um they recommended don't just like you know great tobacco leaves and roll them up into a cigarette you should like do like the rest of the thing that's happening to the entire american food system and turn it into like somehow more poisonous and engineered than it currently is anyway so they kept serving the industry for many years but then also worked at the FDA and so after and so in 2009 mckinsey worked with the FDA on a variety of issues despite the fact that uh that then the FDA didn't know that mckinsey had also been working with every big tobacco company for decades did they not suspect it this strikes me as are they so naive this is this is getting to the point now which is why i really wanted to read this article

Starting point is 01:09:15 so in subsequent years the agency awarded the consultancy 11 million dollars for advice and tobacco regulation and so on eric linblom former director of the office of policy and center for tobacco products said he was startled and surprised to learn of these apparent conflicts of interest well yeah if you had to characterize this guy as having like a sort of an officer's rank in a southern states well i think this is guy less of a kentucky colonel and more of a guy whose office is the back of a turnip truck more of a sort of like french-occupied moroccan yeah yeah yeah sort of camo character um what i was going to say is startled and surprised it was the less successful sequel to dazed and confused yeah about regulating tobacco industry

Starting point is 01:09:56 oh my oh my oh my who would have thought that this consultancy company was in bed with big tobacco he then goes he went on to say i can't believe we didn't think duh of course they're also going to serve the industry just a perfect example of just getting getting just really got the american regulatory system works in one of two ways either the regulators have to be completely captured or they have to be like every every single person who's senior at the fda of the sec is either get completely captured by industry or has undergone the same process that tom hanks underwent in the movie big it is actually 13 yeah i love that he said duh out loud yeah we didn't think duh of course you could also serve the industry like it's obvious now when you think

Starting point is 01:10:46 about like with hindsight like duh like yeah sure mckinsey working for big tobacco but at the time like they had good vibes yeah the surfer fda yeah that's right uh so uh the fucking dude association in a slide deck prepared for altria formerly philip morris mckinsey offered ideas for how the tobacco company could keep existing customers and create new ones it presented a mock-up of what a marbaro smartphone app would look like complete with a way for loyal loyal smokers to win points redeemable for small prizes so basically i were going to create a smartphone app that's the opposite of a stop smoking app it's a keep smoking app yeah you win prizes by smoking that's all right got like a discount on cancer treatment and then uh this is one of the other

Starting point is 01:11:33 ones that really just tickled me from imagining the visual of it because again mckinsey likes to distance itself from these kinds of things and be like oh we do we have our values and so on in a slide deck seen by the new york times one slide said we are one team philip morris and mckinsey yeah cool amazing we are on the same side uh mckinsey also advised altria what philip morris is now called on marketing e-cigarettes with the goal of making one of its products nespresso for vaping oh that's so cool awesome pete booted judge got you to vape as the takeaway nespresso for vaping are we going to have like george cloney vaping and like offering his jewel to a sexy lady you have like you know cafes that do nespresso and you can vape inside i guess maybe i

Starting point is 01:12:19 guess they sort of already exist if you can vape inside anywhere is a cafe where you can vape inside you know what a beautiful sound yeah and then of course the other one i really enjoy this is my favorite bit of the article and fundamentally this is why i wanted to bring it up just towards the end here this is their work with jewel in 2017 uh mckinsey performed a pricing study for the jewel vaping device but they also then afterward offered advice on branding organization retail flavor evaluation youth vaping prevention and regulatory issues now this is um listen there's no reason why you can't be a poacher and a gamekeeper at the same time if anything it makes you better at being a gamekeeper because you know what the poachers are doing because the

Starting point is 01:13:04 poachers are you yeah because it's one of the reasons that uh this is all in the public domain now is that they were deposed uh and so this is how how many billion dollars did they offer to not get deposed yeah that's because though they don't that's the one thing is there there's so much of a bitch they didn't even offer the billions not get deposed you know so uh mckinsey acknowledged that that what they had done for for jewel with surveying teenagers as young as 13 asking them to rank flavor names in order of preference that we emphasize yeah very closely to opening big overcoat and going like hey kid you want to vape they went to the skate park uh selling dope also crucially i don't know why they did this but when they went to the teens to

Starting point is 01:13:48 ask them about vaping they were like oh by the way whatever flavor you choose it has to smell like absolute shit like really like like if anyone on the same street as you has to be aware that you are smoking something that smells like burned so uh the lawyer representing the clients who sued jewel for marketing to children uh pressed mckinsey on that answer did anyone yeah he sued them because it all smells like fucking awful strawberry but anyone at mckinsey stop and say hey maybe we shouldn't be helping tobacco companies study teenagers mckinsey responded the stated objections were to help inform youth prevention activity as well as responsibly introduce a flavor that was appealing to adult smokers only oh they're gonna have a flavor that's like the mosquito thing they

Starting point is 01:14:30 used to have a british corner shop so it's like a flavor that's really annoying to children like artichoke like olive yeah i don't know like an ood and i could yeah an olive flavor a cloud of olive vape just i'm a grown-up smoking my trout vape i smoke salmon e-cigarette yeah absolutely i'm just enjoying this truffle vape gochujang yeah gochujang vape might be good actually if you're listening jewel so patent pending patent in retrospect the lawyers press does mckinsey think this survey was appropriate i don't have an opinion on it said the representative of mckinsey but he added that it felt correct incidentally incident so it's just like yeah no we were only trying to get directions to the porno shop to go away from the porno shop exactly so the survey

Starting point is 01:15:22 found the flavor flavor flavor by the way from ages 13 to 21 was mint uh the classic can't go wrong with that the lawyer then said did you know that mint would go on to become an incredibly popular flavor with teens only one year after this powerpoint deck was presented they invented menthols again like by this point the tobacco industry is now copying its own well smells are good well alice you mentioned menthols do you know the consultancy that came up basically with mental menthols it's mckinsey incredible so they're good now okay part of the full self part of the true self persists in the full self etc mckinsey is responsible for so many of my good child but my good teenage memories this is like when they do a reboot of a film 40 years later with

Starting point is 01:16:09 like the main actor's son it's the same thing like it's like the original mckinsey consultant he's bringing in the mint vape rather than the cigarette for some reason like the shawth theme song is playing to be clear they didn't sorry they didn't invent the menthol cigarette but they did work with the company that marketed the menthol cigarette i see okay they were i also loved it for that morris is now called ultra make it sound like it sounds like a company that collects the bins in like east noddingham ship or like that that's the strategy of every evil company now is to get a name that's as boring as possible so like no one could bear to discuss it yeah i yeah thoroughly anyway that's after finding out the most popular flavor among

Starting point is 01:16:50 teenagers was mint one year after that powerpoint deck was presented wouldn't you know it it turns out that the most popular jewel flavor among teenagers was mint and then the mckinsey representative said i was not aware of that and that's that's i'd love that so much just like just the the simple thing of no we're doing a youth vaping prevention study on how they would like to vape so we can get away from there absolutely 100 well surely a youth prevention study could not simply be reverse engineered by some kind of pernicious force to simply work out what flavors would be easiest to sell to the youth surely some kind of safeguards were put in place to ensure the correct use of this here information colonel acaster i'm so sorry but no mckinsey is so

Starting point is 01:17:43 fucking cringe though because you have to deploy the sort of like cia level of evil where you're like bureaucratically you're being deposed and you're like i have no recollection of that but instead of shipping guns to congo you're shipping vapes to teens that's that's like the stakes are so much lower and it's often enough it's like the same people you know like this because we know of this like revolving door between your intelligence community and your consultancy and all this shit like you could genuinely have come down in the world from like i used to be saying i i have no recollection of that program about a thing that was like spraying nerve gas on people's door handles and now it's like uh uh olive i love the idea of mckinsey consultant doing a

Starting point is 01:18:24 powerpoint to the gru what is novichok okay let's mckinsey mckinsey and the gru are one team according to our research russian dissidents love using door handles 100 of the russian dissidents we surveyed use a door handle every single day now what does that tell us it tells us they're touching these things so don't put nerve gas on them whatever you do yeah this is this is russian dissident uh accidental death prevention survey so like we asked uh what things would definitely kill you to a bunch of russians so you can be sure not to put them in a room with any of those things and top of the list was novichok nerve gas second um hippopotamus is very dangerous animal yeah oh oh i would love to see the g are you doing very unfortunate accident he fall into

Starting point is 01:19:20 hippopotamus enclosure uh in his own house which he had built without his own knowledge during the night which is how he fell in there because he did not know it was there he was just trying to kill himself by uh jumping from first floor window but uh sadly he fell into hippopotamus hippopotamus tank built as a result of bot dial the contractors accidentally thought they should install uh yes jod apatow movie style misunderstanding happened in real life with contractors uh zoo was delivered a new bathtub in osco very very silly uh visitors to the zoo said that where are hippopotamus said it was eating man very sad uh i love the uh the new whimsical department of the g are you like like post-show me and they're like okay we gotta keep these guys in work i guess the the whimsical

Starting point is 01:20:25 assassination squad all right all right all right i don't think we're gonna be um i expected we were gonna end a few minutes ago i didn't think we but i don't think we're gonna be uh whimsical very sad he saw ass that was too big and it gave him heart attack from too much arousal and very sad a normal size s was delivered to strip cop by mistake his wife was replaced with a mannequin made of lit dynamite anyway all right all right whimsical g are you one for the ages uh and another one for the ages will be you when you sign up to our patreon it is five dollars a month you get a second episode every week yeah um and also don't forget like we said earlier there's that live show in london there are a number of live shows in australia there are um

Starting point is 01:21:16 two of the melbourne dates are sold out but you can come to the melbourne britannology on the 19th of november we still have tickets in sydney which i believe is on the 10th of november and uh we have staff tickets in cambera which is on the 15th of november i'm really pulling these dates out of my ass here um we uh i am doing stand-up show in melbourne on the 21st of november we have any brisbane tickets left uh yeah i think there are some tickets in brisbane for the show on the 8th of november um i'm also doing a show in brisbane on the 23rd of november i don't know if the tickets will be up yet when this episode comes out but hopefully they will be um and also doing a show in sydney on the 24th of november again not sure if tickets will be up but that

Starting point is 01:21:53 will be happening so if you're in that city and would like to come save the date we are too damn antipodean uh anyway we'll see you on the bonus episode in a few days bye everyone bye bye

TRASHFUTURE - Juul Olive™

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.