TRASHFUTURE - Luxury 9/11-Proof Towers feat. India Block

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

You’ve heard the expression that while the cat’s away, the mice will play? In this case, while the cat’s away, the mice got in the studio and recorded their own podcast. Yes, friends, Riley was away on holiday and so was Nate, leaving only Milo (@Milo_Edwards) and Hussein (@HKesvani) to host an episode entirely of their own making, with special guest and [Canadian voice] returning podcast champion India Block (@indiablock). This episode discusses Trump’s stupid parade, white British idiots’ weird soliloquies about slavery, and a Jenga-block skyscraper where everything is WeWork. You love it! We all love it. If you like this show, sign up to the Patreon and get a second free episode each week! You’ll also get access to our Discord server, where good opinions abound. https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We’ll be performing at the Birmingham Transformed festival on 8th August. Details to come in the next few weeks. If you’re in the West Midlands, come down to Brum for a night of delightful soup jokes. Get tickets here! https://ti.to/birmingham-transformed/birmingham-transformed-2019 *OTHER LIVE SHOW ALERT* Come see Trashfuture live at the Edinburgh Fringe! We’ll perform on August 10th at 21.30. The venue is Venue 277, PQA Venues @Riddle's Court, Edinburgh EH1 2PG. Tickets are £11.50 and there are a ton of discounts available. Get them here: https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/trashfuture-live-at-the-fringe *SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT* Guess who’s going to play live at The World Transformed in Brighton this September? That’s right, your favourite podcast lads. Buy a ticket here: http://theworldtransformed.org If you want to buy one of our recent special-edition phone-cops shirt, shoot us an email at trashfuturepodcast[at]gmail[dot]com and we can post it to you. (£20 for non-patrons, £15 for patrons) Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

I mean, we can cold open on the basis that Riley is not here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So now, in the same kind of vein as the phenomenal movie, The Social Network, while he's away in New York doing business deals, we're going to take over Trash Future and turn it into like a Jucero style startup. Shall we speculate on why he's not here? Is this the first one that he's not done because he always introduces it where he's

like... Yeah, he's not going to be able to say every other podcast anymore. Yeah, he won't be able to like save the... No, we did an episode without him because we did the one with Nate, me and Nate did one that time. Yeah, but Nate's not here. So Nate made it sensible, right? Yeah.

So we don't have... We don't have our sensible boy. Yeah, our podcast is not real. I'm not only your podcast. Yeah. So it's just... Yeah, it's anarchy at this point. So I want to say welcome to Trigapod.

Absolutely. Trigapod Reloaded. Trigapod 2. Trigapod Reloaded. Trigapod 2. Trigapod Reloaded. When we talk about the things that Trigapod are just too sensitive to talk about. Exactly.

So we're going to talk this week. We're talking about whether Italians actually classify as a race or a religion. How many genders there are? Italy isn't a race. It's a religion. It's a race agenda. There's actually just one gender and that's men and any other gender. That's not a man.

It's just called not man. There's one gender and it's Italian. Yeah. Oh yeah, that too. That's more of like a sub-gender. So if a new statesman wants to commission me to write that, always open. Hello. I'm Constantine Kissen and today we're answering the question, what's retreating faster?

The white race or my hairline? Oh my God. We might actually have to delete that. That I feel like might take us into... We have a lawyer who has said to us that if you have a problem getting contact, you might actually have to contact him. It goes away for one podcast and you get sued. Yeah.

Just immediately libeling someone within three minutes. We'll just blame it on him. We'll just be like, well, actually he was here the whole time and he forced us to do it. Yeah. It was a weird basement. We've got one of those like Soprano-style lawyers who's like, Hussain, the feds are on you. You've got to spend some time and you're off as a barone sanitation.

Hello, everyone. And welcome to the most anarchic episode of Trashutja ever recorded because our special Canadian boy Riley Quinn is not here. He's in New York. He's being cool. He's talking to people. He's taking selfies. He's drinking cans of monster energy with Brooklyn-based dudes.

He's having a normal one. In Brooklyn, they don't really drink monster. They drink like, they drink, they drink- Lacroix energy. Yeah. They drink Lacroix energy. They mix it with weird stuff. They had this.

So I have, when I was in New York last time- I had a homeopathic monster. I got a small amount. I accidentally drank like really strong vodka coffee and apparently that's like a normal thing in New York. Like that's what people do when you come back from your busy day at Wall Street and you want to get drunk, but also you want to stay awake enough in case you have to do a business deal.

That's just imitation buckfast. Was that- Is it already miserable espresso martini? I mean, I don't, I don't know what they taste like because I don't drink. This was an accidental thing, but all I know is I tasted, I imagine, it tasted the same way that I imagined gasoline tastes in the sense that when I had it, it just burnt my entire throat and I was just like, I want to die, but I'm not sure why. That does sound like an espresso martini, but what it also-

No, the toy removed. What it also sounds like, yeah, exactly, but what it also sounds like is for loco, because that's like basically just caffeine and alcohol, isn't it? Yeah, but they had them. That's what I didn't realize. Yeah, they did. Is that- It's a kill the kid or a couple of kids.

I love it. I only drink things that kill people. That's my like- Yeah, they still have them. Crack a deal of beverages. Anyway, I want to interrupt this conversation to say on the news right now that Tommy Robinson our original Irish slave faces two years in prison after judges ruled that his Facebook broadcast outside the court where-

They told the truth too much. Yeah, so he's been found guilty in facing prisons, so- For being epic. Forts and prayers to our original Irish slave. Elon Musk's sprinting to his like very dangerous Batmobile. Freedom! But you can't be too epic. It's too damn epic.

Yeah, exactly. It's the news, baby. Yeah. Well, anyway- Awesome news. Oh, we love the news. We love to do the news. Anyway, yes.

Welcome to this episode of podcast, which has already been derailed and it's only a few minutes in. I'm Milo Edwards. The lunatics have been left in charge of the asylum with me are- The same Kizvani. Yeah, the Joker is my spirit animals. I'm always an archic on here. I don't even know what I'm saying now.

I just like- Oh, just have your side to do mine. Alice Corporal Kelly, I'm basically- I'm the Milo of this one while Milo is Riley, so it's me. And also Nate. Yeah. Well, a horrific synthesis that no one would like to see with two different kinds of beard. Fantastic.

And with us is special guest and I'll do my Riley Quinn voice for this and returning trash future champion, India Block. Hi, I'm back to talk about more tool things. Also- Milo, I'm kind of imagining you doing all three of these roles like that film split. What's that? I don't think I've seen that one. There's Shallow Man one where he's like-

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He locks those girls in a basement and then he's like playing this seven-year-old child. Yeah, yeah, but- Yeah, no, he was like the guy like- James McEvoy. James McEvoy and who- Was it Bruce-

Will? No, that was unbreakable, wasn't it? Yeah, but like the third film was like when they were facing off against each other, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Well, just to do synthesis and say that like Riley is Nate's Tyler Durden. Like, he's like the bane of Nate's life and he's like an inherent part of him. No, he's Nate's Venom.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. All I'm gonna say is- Yeah, I was gonna say that no one cared about me before I lost the palace hat. That's one for the internal slap. That joke's just for us. Yeah, but yeah, next time you see Riley, just mention the palace hat. Yeah, do be mentioning the hat. He loves it when you've been mentioning his hats.

Do also be mentioning his selfies. He loves it when people mention those. He actually does, he does. He knows exactly what he's doing when he posts a selfie. It's seventh dimensional chess, truly. Well, we're gonna, you know, it's a low effort episode of Trashy's because it's one that I've organized. So we're gonna do the news-

As opposed to normal. Normal ones are pretty high energy. They're pretty like well planned. This one was like, I was impressed that there were notes. Yeah, I know. Well, that's because I started a Google doc this morning. Exactly, yeah. Oh my God.

India did the bulk of the notes. I added in some notes because if I hadn't have done notes, I think Riley would have been like upset and disappointed. He would have been like disillusioned with, because you know, he always does the notes, but I think he's always assumed that if he didn't do the notes, someone else would still do them. And I think that's an illusion we shouldn't shatter for him.

Yeah. You can't just have a podcast with no notes. That would be offensive. Yeah, nothing is falling apart without him. Yeah, like if India wasn't here, this podcast would be me and Alice talking about come, Hussain throwing in things about you, Gio. They're both, they are related.

Yeah, exactly. They are related. July the 4th. Especially at my house parties. Oh shit. Yeah. Anyway, so today is the 5th of July, the day of recording,

because of course the day after the anniversary of the day when they solved racism for once and for all, the 4th of July. The Battle of Ideas. Exactly. Yeah. Because, you know, we've all seen the hit musical Hamilton,

and we know that what the 4th of July was about, was about, you know, stopping the English from doing slavery and racism, which is why they never did either of those things after that. It was fine. It was fine until that dastardly George Orwell brought it up again in 1984.

I had a friend from America who texted me on the 4th and was like, oh, you're going to work? Like, you don't get the day off? And I was like, no, no, we don't just like take a day off to celebrate the time that we lost. Hmm.

You never take a day off in posting. Yeah. Take a day off for contemplation and lordenum. Yeah. It's gonna, you know, just stroke your pet bear, shoot up some heroin, rail about Chinese merchants.

Retired European Den. Yeah. Very spectator editorial board sort of vibe. But of course, Donald Trump decided to celebrate the 4th of July in the way only our big, special boy. Our big, clever boy. Didn't he do well?

He organized it in honor of how he's definitely not a communist and he hates communist states. He organized a parade of tanks through the nation's capital, which is what better way to prove that, you know, you hate the Soviet Union than to organize a parade of tanks. But they didn't like drive them down the streets or anything. They literally trucked them in on like huge flatbeds

and parked them next to Trump so he could just talk next to them. Oh, wow. So it was actually like he was running a tank dealership. Yeah. Slaps roof of tank. You can fit so many burning soldiers in this. They're phasing them out because they're so shit.

Like they wouldn't even do proper tests on them because they were like, there's no point like, like lobbing something out to see if it breaks up. Because it's like, we know this tank is just like going to blow up. Like BA systems really fucked up with those. So yeah, they had the disaster tanks that no one really wants. So I guess now they're just like a useful prop. I'm imagining they're like,

Gen Z hype beast tank safety inspector who's like, yo, this tank is fire. This tank is going to blow up by which I mean, it's really a serious health and safety risk. I mean, that's probably what's going to happen with them eventually, right? They'll be sold off to like some YouTuber. No Boris will want them when he becomes prime minister.

Oh, for rice control. He loves to buy like shit. It doesn't work. Yeah. I mean, it's also the same energy as when those guys from Guido forks like drove around Oxford Street in a tank because they were angry about something to do with top gear. Remember that?

I don't remember that. That sounds exactly. Also, I just actually I thought of a new bit the other day and I wanted to tweet it, but I realized that written down it wouldn't work, which was Guido forks was just like, hey, fuck you, pal. Fucking media will report on this shit

because it's about Italian racism. I'm Paul Stainzy, and I run a strip, a strip joint magazine. And it's just like the anonymous mask, except it's got like an Italian flag. The Joker makeup, but it's like the Italian flag. Amazing. I mean, the Joker makeup is almost the Italian flag.

There you go. It is. Fuck, it is. Oh, shit. Shit. This is like a stone shower thought. Riley is going to be so upset when he listens to this. He listens to this.

It's angry, like somewhere in Niagara Falls, just like getting angry of us because we'd like fucking up this podcast. 13 minutes into the episode, we're just talking about Italians. Somewhere like Riley's ears are pricking up and he's spitting out a mouthful of caviar. I really like though that Trump did his little special parade thing

and the way he opened it was by saying, hello, America. Hello. Like sliding into America's DMs. It's very like, very like open mic comedian. How are we doing tonight? Yeah. Checks notepad for name of town.

America. Oh, I love being in America. Well, I've actually, I've actually got a quote here from the Daily Beast about this. They said, a rain soaked crowd around the Lincoln Memorial chanted USA, USA and Air Force One flew low over Washington as Trump strode up to the podium.

Well, water ran down the road in his life. Sort of loped to the podium. While water ran down the front of the bulletproof glass enveloping the podium, he opened his remarks with hello, America. Hello. Does it sound like he was walking into a phone booth? I know, very odd.

Yeah. Is this thing on? There's this amazing quote from Ray says, today we come together as one nation. He told the crowd, which was divided by a fence that kept VIP guests separated from ordinary spectators. My favorite part of that was they put a chain link fence

through the like the reflecting pool on the, in front of the Washington Monument during a lightning storm. So that's fun. You love to see it. Yeah. Oh, that would have been great. Instead of just like electrocuted a load of people to death at the July the fourth March.

And then, and then like all the people who survived or were just badly burned would be like, yes, sir, we love it. Johnny English, where they managed to like, kill off all of the secret service by blowing up a funeral. I mean, that is the sort of thing that Don Trump would watch and take his actual tactics. I've watched this excellent film. Johnny English and what's it called?

Oh, shit. Kingsman, the Kingsman series. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A Kingsman was like Johnny English that fucks. Yeah. But like the second Kingsman. You to imply that Johnny English doesn't fuck.

The second Kingsman is so funny, only because there's this one scene where like, in order to save the world, he has to finger someone, finger a woman at a festival. And just like the premise of that is just like unbelievable. Oh, yeah. That was the second one. Yeah.

It was not on a plane. It was very much a watch on a plane movie. Yeah. No, it was crazy. It was crazy. I was just like, this is so dumb by respect. Whoever wrote this, I just respect that. Yeah.

This podcast has the same like, thought pattern as Trump does now. We're just kind of spinning off into something completely unrelated every couple of sentences. It's amazing. Look, here's something I remember, folks. This is like, Riley's the one who usually brings us back on track. But while, yeah.

It was a movie. He had to put his hand in her pussy. That's what I remember. The Fourth of July. He had to literally grab it. And that's what it's about. There was another, there was another trick quote. I got from the Daily Beast article which I enjoyed.

This is another, we're going to be back on the moon very soon. And someday soon we will plant the American flag on Mars. Trump promise. Thank you. Very cool. Unbelievable. So good.

Your mask is right on it. Yeah. The man is going to build a Gundam. You know what? It's an epic presidency. Because like, did you see David, David French's thing about how you shouldn't be upset by the tanks because they're cool?

Tanks are very cool, actually. Even the tank nerds don't think these tanks are cool. No, but this wonk does. And he writes for, I think, the New York Times op-ed page. And he was like, no, children will love them. The president who was like a child will love them. They're very cool. The tank nerd position is like the best political position

where they hate the tank parade, not because of the political implications, but just because it's the wrong tanks. And all the good ones. Usually we've been waiting all this time for a tank parade and they're not even using the ones we like. Just tank hipster. Yeah.

It's like, oh, what a mainstream tank you've picked. Yeah, I also love that it's like a world plant and American flag on Mars, not even like we'll do anything in particular on Mars. No, we're just going to go there. We're going to put a flag there. We're going to make a huge bacon sandwich. It's going to be great.

Me and Elon. Just putting a big skewer through Mars so that you can eat it more easily. I thought he said that we weren't going to Mars or something, or like the moon was on the way to Mars. He said the Earth and Mars share the same moon. He said we're going to go to Mars, of which the moon is a part.

I think that was the quote. Yeah. Which I mean, like it's so stupid, but also like this owns incredibly. I don't know. I'm just obsessed with moon guys, who are obsessed with the moon and guys who obsessively hate the moon.

Oh, these werewolf guys. Yeah. It's like normal. No, no, because like there's actually like a trend of men online who just like hate the moon for like very irrational reasons or no reasons at all. It's just like the old jack shit thing

where it's like the moon god of Islam. Yeah. Well, there's actually like, yeah, it's kind of like very Lovecraftian in some ways, but also there is this kind of, but it's like old like crusader mythology of Christians who like Christian soldiers who hated the moon because they felt the moon

represented the Islamic God. So they kind of affiliated with the sun. So a lot of these men who were like fighting in the crusaders grew like every time they saw the moon, they would curse it because they felt the moon represented like the evil Saracens. That mother fucker made a cheese. But the Islamic God hates the moon so much,

he snapped at one time. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I should have put that in my article when I wrote it. Yeah. I thought this was some like super incel stance because like the moon is traditionally associated with women and they're like moves like the tides and periods

and so they're just like, oh fuck the moon. They hate that the moon has become politicized by the SJ doves who are using it for their astrology nonsense. Every day they make the size of the moon slightly smaller. These are men who... It's on the opposite of that GTA cheat code with the sniper rifle. More often than not,

these are men who were just like really pissed off like are getting really into astrology and they talk about like... They talk about, you know, what you like cancer and retrograde and stuff like that. And they just have no idea what the girlfriends are saying but they don't actually want to like learn about it. No men hate astrology

because it's basically like talking about your feelings and self-reflection and improvement. Not facts. There's no facts. It's all about like self-improvement. I'm actually true through about this. I don't believe that the moon is controlling the tides and periods.

I believe that periods are controlling tides in the moon. I mean that's not the most controversial position and that's why women must be stopped. They will drown us all. That's the true threat of trans people. It's not just that we attack the moon. We don't just attract bears with our periods. We literally attack the moon.

Like the moon is held in a delicate balance by there being the correct number of uteruses and people getting gender reassignment surgery. We'll fuck with that. The moon is just getting too close. Trash Beach is now the turf podcast. But we're doing it for like galaxy-related reasons. Now India, that is a fucking Trump point.

The moon folks, it's too close. You've got to move the moon away. It's a threat to our national security. It's very close to a lot of our bases. I can totally imagine a Trump idea literally being we're going to move the moon to the other side of the earth. You're just topping it.

It's Islamic. Look, if Iran wants the moon, they can have the moon in their airspace. Okay, we're not having it. The moon is spying on us. The moon has invaded American airspace. Just firing rockets in the moon. Yeah.

They did try that. They tried to nuke the moon once. What? Yeah, they did. It was just like a nuclear test. The Americans tried to blow up the moon because they were worried that the Soviets would pull them.

Yes. Yes. The Cold War. It rocks so hard. Because it's like, is there any good reason to do this? No. But the Russians might do it. Well, we better do it then.

What would happen if you blow up the moon? Well, that's what they were trying to find out. Yeah. All the periods on earth just stop abruptly. Yo, if we blow up the moon, we can fuck all the time. If she's saying she got her period, we'll blow up the moon.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. These are guys who would rather blow up the moon than remove the tamp on tax. Oh, yeah. That's the galaxy brain. Yeah. It's a one-time investment in blowing up the moon.

It's the Adam Smith Institute take, which is we don't want government intervention. So we'll just blow up the moon. But it has to be done by a PFI initiative. Circo will try blow up the moon and they'll accidentally blow up Mars. Yeah, we can't contract it out. No, absolutely not.

Just Circo sending out Lesser trying to get the moon to leave. Yeah. Now she's got orbit by 11.59. Riley's definitely getting red-faced right now. Yeah, exactly. So in addition... Like Trump?

Yeah, moving on to the day. I mean, obviously, you know, Big Falls July celebration. Meanwhile, just concentration camps fully. Wait, what about the bit about the airport? Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck, yes. Yeah.

He said the army manned the air and then manned the airports and then aired the ramparts and then manned the ramparts. 100 years before aeroplanes. Yeah. So it's like if you transcribe... More than 100 years before.

That's the cruelest thing you can ever do to him is just transcribe him because you can see the gears kind of creaking. Yeah. Yeah, no, exactly. Like he's like, yeah, they took JFK airport, which was a prediction of the greatest president we'd ever have, John Franklin Kennedy.

Not actually a very good guy. Shout in the head. Oh, the QAnon guys thought JFK Jr. was going to show up on the 4th of July as well. Oh, did they? Yeah, it was like a real when prophecy fails thing. They thought that this was going to be the day when JFK Jr. shows back up and reveals himself

and arrests Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. What you're saying is that he was actually the hidden democracy? Yes, in many ways. Given how much JFK fucked, there's a high chance that someone who's descendant of JFK was actually there. I think that's like a reasonably safe bet. Yeah, but we've also had our own controversies in the UK

because everyone be talking about slavery now. Because Anne Widdicombe, a famously normal woman, so normal in fact that she's never had sex once. By a secret government program to create her as an android. Yeah, that's why she's called Widdicombe. It's a bit like Honeycomb, but it's like made of flesh. Sort of a kind of goop that's been made into a person. Goop.com.

Is it libelous to call an MEP Goop? I'd love to see the right to discovery on that. Can she prove she's not a goop? Just investigate the consistency of Anne Widdicombe. Yeah, I mean she's not very consistent. If there's one thing we could say. She's shown up at the European Parliament in her new role as MEP for the Extremely Normal Brexit Party.

It's like the official monster-raving loony party, the Extremely Normal Brexit Party. Exactly, we're here for an Extremely Normal Brexit that in no way involves doing fascism. So yeah, she showed up and she compared Britain leaving the EU to quote-unquote slaves rising up against their owners. A normal thing to say. You hate to see it.

You hate to see it. I know, I know. So then David Lambie, the Labour MP for Tottenham, did a tweet just calling her out on it and saying this is kind of offensive. And then resident genius Andrew Lillico waited in. Andrew Lillico, recurring character of the fashion feature universe. Now, so Andrew Lillico has done not even my favourite tweet

but my favourite thread possibly of all time. Oh no, did he do the thing where it's like, buckle in everyone, it's time for a bracket thread. Buckle in everyone, it's time for some race science. And well, and so I was really shocked by this because my previous favourite tweet of all time was already an Andrew Lillico tweet that he'd done just at the weekend.

And I couldn't believe he was telling me already. Was it? No, no, that was from a while ago. No, this one was, he was tweeting about climate change and he goes, Dublin's almost as hot as my wife. He's a wife guy. He is a wife guy. Yeah.

There's something just like very seedy about men tweeting about how attractive their wives are. It's like it should be wholesome, but it isn't. It never is, no. There's something weird about it, as though like he's trying to convince himself or someone else. Yeah, it's like typical kind of politician trick of being like, oh my bad a half.

And then you're like, oh why the fuck aren't they running for this position if they're better than you? Like why are you outsourcing all of your like attractiveness and like interpersonal qualities to this like woman who is mothering you through your life? Now that would be a great libtake. Like, you know, there's like that Twitter account,

like the Milaverse where it's like, what if Ed Miliband had won the election? Like what would be happening? And it just tweets like mundane tweety things that would be happening instead of like the ongoing horror. I would like to see like the Sam, Samantha camera universe. What if Samantha camera and have been Prime Minister?

And yet somehow things end up, end up like way worse. Yeah. Every child has a leather bound like Smithson notebook. Yeah. Everyone's like praying to like huge like cardboard cutouts of Samantha Cameron. They've been erected in the town square.

There's like military police everywhere. Everyone's got that little dolphin tattoo. She's got on her ankle on them. Yeah. Every house has a Sam cam fitted in it, which watches you 24 hours a day. All of your husbands have to go live in a shed in the bottom of the garden that cost 25,000 pounds.

Exactly. The only people who are housed are the docs. Yeah. Anyway, so this thread from Andrew Lillico. He is quote tweeting David Lammy initially. And he says, she didn't say anything about only Afro Caribbean slaves. There were 60 million slaves in the Roman Empire,

for example. Of course. And frequent revolts. Oh, it gets more galaxy brain. Indeed. The very word slave derives from slas. Because slaves love to squat. Because Slavonic peoples were so frequently taken captive.

You don't own slavery, David. Yeah. Imagine thinking you just own something that just should be philosophically independent. I just imagine that the idea that like David Lammy thinks that owning slaves is bad, but he does think that he owns the concept of slavery. Interesting.

He's culturally misappropriating the plot of Les Mis. Interesting. So you believe that owning slaves is bad, and yet you own a house. You live in a society. We do live in a society. An ancient Roman Slavic society. We're all really squatting.

Andrew Lillico continues, tweet, tweet numero the second. Isn't it quite odd the way certain folk talk, as if Africans take into North America were the only sort of slavery that ever existed. It's a bit odd. Yeah. Just a bit odd. Yeah.

I'm just trying to say that Beyonce had one of the best slaves of all time. On the one side, we have like the worst, most preeminent thing of slavery. And on the other, we've got Gopnik Romans. Exactly. Yeah. Just like whatever the ancient equivalent

of a Lardijigli was. You have like an Adidas toga with the three purple stripes. Yeah. I was about to say a horse drawn Lardijigli, but that would just be a Lardijigli in rural Russia. And it says, to be honest, it's not even the first thing that comes to mind if I hear the words slave.

Okay. Are you excited to Andrew Lillico's sex life? Okay, King. Go off. All right. 50 Shades of Grey. He says, I think of the Greek slave teacher from my Latin lessons.

So he was taught Latin by a Greek slave. I mean, schools were weird, but I thought you just had Latin taught to you by an elderly pedophile. Is this like that writer for the Atlantic who like wrote about the woman that raised him and then like halfway through the article, was like, okay, and then I realized

that she was my family's slave. I'm just imagining Andrew Lillico in a Latin lesson and he's being taught Latin by this Greek dude. With a collar on. And he's like, that's very interesting, Costas. Could you please tell me what the ending for that is? He's like, please let me be free. I need to go home to my family.

I mean, unless like the Greek guy was actually just like a cleaner in his boarding school and they would just talk to believe that anyone that wasn't like the fucking school master was a slave. But also he was just teaching them Latin on the side. Yeah, it was like good hunting. JK Rowling hasn't come into somehow

like crowbar the house elves narrative into this. Oh yeah. She's like, well, I never said Hermione wasn't a slave. Andrew Lillico not satisfied with that galaxy brain take goes in for tweet number three. He's like, I also find it odd that people would scare quotes want to be thought of still as the descendant of slaves.

When those slave ancestors were centuries ago, I'm sure I have slave ancestors too. But why would that define me more than my work or beliefs or education or my parents or grandparents? Because these people's grandparents were literally slaves. Yeah, it's not centuries. It's century and a bit and barely. Like, yeah, it's wild.

It's also just like weird. Like I just him being just like, I'm sure I have slaves. I'm probably that probably. I was probably like 23 in me tests and it'll be just like, yeah, I'm not safe. I just I just look at the pyramids and I think I could do that. You know, the thing about not wanting to be thought of as the descendant

of slaves to is so fucking weird, like it's aspirational anti slavery. Like, don't do yourself down. You've moved on. Yeah, I learned to code and now I'm not a slave anymore. That would be amazing. That is like a start up waiting to happen. Like, but what if the slaves, you know,

they're just they're just done Bitcoin, you know, I mean, isn't that like all these kind of like code for Africa initiatives? Yeah, essentially trying to do is like, we're trying to take people from like slave wage labor, making like mining rarer stuff for phones. Right. Yeah.

For like, you know, multi like multinational mining companies and we're going to teach them to code and be entrepreneurs so that they can learn how to make technology that can automate that mining process. Yeah. It's fantastic. It's what we like to see. Yeah.

So fortunately, Andrew Lillico was not left on his own languishing in this particular Twitter hole that he had dug because another man, a man who is something of a dark night, you know, not the hero, not the hero we deserve. We deserve, yeah. Mr. Daniel Hannan also quote tweeted David and me. Friend of the show. Friend of the show, Daniel Hannan.

A man, a man who looks like a sort of a skeleton that has been like dressed up in a butcher's shop. He said slavery was alas near universal. It was practiced on every land mass. I am descended from slaves. So reader, are you from slave owners to come to that? How history being what it is, could we not be? How would the fuck for the Antarctic slaves?

That's a land mass. The penguins. Yeah, maybe. They're just colonizing the Ross ice shelf. But this is like Dan Hannan is doing like a Joe Rogan experience thing here where he's like, well, when you think about it, everyone's a slave, you know, down, down, down. We live in a society.

So he goes on slavery was practiced by Sumerians, Assyrians, Assyrians, Egyptians, Persians, Greeks, Romans, Ottomans, Chinese, not the Chinese, but just Chinese, Mongols, Polynesians, Arabs, Africans, Aztecs and Incas. The question is not who started slavery. It predates civilisation. But who ended it? Hip hop, air horns.

And then he goes, like, not satisfied with what an obvious like galaxy brain take that is. Yeah, we're in Fred territory right now. Yeah, he goes for the third tweet and he says, here's a clue. Even during Britain's life and death struggle with Bonaparte, it was still diverting warships to hunt down the slave traders. Oh, we'll see. He's fucked up now because he's entered the naval history octagon

with me. And he doesn't know what he's fucking talking about. Like the West Africa squadron was mostly intended originally as a way to fuck with the profitable slave trading activity of our Napoleonic enemies. It was economic warfare. And then we kind of like fucked around for a bit and we did indeed liberate some slaves, which is very, very good.

A fraction of the number that we transported and slaves in the first place. But then that turned into the scramble for Africa and the civilizing mission and the enlightened liberal imperialism that we all know and love. And everyone lived happily ever after. Everyone lived happily ever after. What did they do with the with the slaving ships that they were disrupting?

They were installing juiceros. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They nicked them. They got angel investors. Yeah, they commissioned them to hunt down more slave ships. So kind of paid for itself. Whoa, that's the that's the real galaxy brain move. Wait, so this is like very classic.

Just like, oh, yeah, well, you know, we were very, we were very anti-slavery when the French were doing it because sort of slavery when we did it was a kind of civilizing. But the French were doing this thing that they like to call Le Slavery, which involved a lot of this special French thing that we've never done called Le Racisme. It was not a gentleman's sport. Exactly. And so it had to be stopped.

None of them, you know, no French person's ever worn school colours before. No, exactly. They're like, you know, savages. You know, they were putting gollywogs on the cocoa, whereas we were just putting them on the jam, like normal people. Exactly. I mean, cocoa is brown. That's offensive.

Jam's not brown. Yeah, it's just good. You know, they were just trying to show that jam is for everyone, regardless of skin colour, regardless of whether that skin colour even is real. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so that's the roundup of the British news. It's another normal day. Yeah, just re-litigating early 19th century naval battles.

We really understand our history and we really learn from it and find inspiration there every day. Yeah, it's just a great... Just that take of, it doesn't matter who started Slavery, it matters who ended it. It's very Andrew Tate. It doesn't matter who starts the fight, but I will finish it. I'm sure the take exists somewhere and has been written that actually

we should get reparations from Africa because we ended Slavery. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It blew my mind. Yeah. I just, I know in my head that it exists out there somewhere and I look forward to being proved right by the listeners.

Damn. There were all those SJWs out there trying to kill Hitler, but the only person that succeeded in the end was Hitler. So, can we really say if Hitler was good or not? You know? It doesn't really matter who started Hitler. It matters who ended it. And that was Hitler.

So, Hitler was good. He was a war hero in the fight against Hitler. He did more than any Soviet or Allied soldier did in the quest to kill Hitler. In the fight against Naziism, Hitler really was the MVP. Although to be fair, he did also kill the guy who killed Hitler. Oh, whoa. Whoa. Damn.

He really is just an agent of chaos. Hitler was the joker. Yeah. With the Italian makeup. Mussolini. Let's find out who this bonito Mussolini really is. Old man, Hitler. Okie dokie.

This is such a normal podcast. I'm never going to get out of my head. So, Riley said, Milo, I'm going to get you to organise this episode of Trash Reacher. He's like, India wants to come on. You should have her on. Can you sort that out? And I think what Riley meant by that was... I think I had just been DMing him some rage tweets about this tower.

Yeah. I think Riley was like, oh, we should have India on. But also, if India is on, the rest of them can't go as off piece as... Now I'm going to be bad. And he's like, you are the root of this. He's going to have a bad influence. Yeah. He'll just take it over himself.

And he'll be like, I just can't deal with these fucking idiots anymore. They keep hijacking my show. They keep us talking about, like, Yu-Gi-Oh! and cum and the joker. Instead of techno and assemblage. And all the audiences that tune into Navarra media. They get really mad that all they do is just talk about Gundams all day. Yeah. It's the classic stuff.

Anyway, so India is an expert on all things big and tall. Building related stuff. Concrete. Your tall things correspondant. Exactly. Big boys. Yeah, exactly. We're doing a rundown of the NBA draft with the India block.

The best joke I've made so far. Anyway, so there are some new developments going up in London. Would you like to tell us a bit about those? Yeah, so you guys did a podcast recently about the Stratford Olympic Park stadium. And lo and behold, what should drop into my inbox as an architecture journalist. But a beautifully written press release for Manhattan Loft Gardens, which is... Located in Stratford, as you may have guessed. Is it like the Holy Roman Empire where it's not in Manhattan, not a loft, not gardens?

Actually, they're only loft gardens if they're from the Manhattan region, otherwise they're just sparkling fucking Chinese investment vehicles. No, no. I mean, we can get to that later. These are deliberately not investment properties for the Chinese. But we can get onto that. The gardens bit is because basically they have thrown a vast amount of money at this development. And it's like, I'm not going to shit on Skidmore Owings and Merrill, the architects.

They've done a lot of cool stuff with the 1.1 billion pounds that got thrown into this. It's essentially like, obviously this is a podcast, it's not visual. Imagine a tower that's like Jenga blocks and on like two different levels, they've taken out all but one brick. So that there's like, and then in the cut out space underneath, that is like a sky garden. And a sky garden is one of these like weird nebulous developer terms. It means nothing. I love to relax in the garden that's just in the hinge

between two massive pieces of concrete. That won't give me anxiety at all. Oh, yeah. No, it's super relaxing. And also like, literally building a building that's like, yeah, try it Al-Qaeda. Just challenge mode for 9-11. Well, yeah. It's like the hole because the plane will just go straight through.

Leaving completely undamaged. Checkmate lives. Checkmate. Sorry, we've broken in dear. Just like Churchill. Yeah, yeah. So they left holes for the planes and you can have barbecues in these areas. They basically decked them in a way that would like give any like ground force fan a hard on.

And yeah, so that is like, that is the garden part of Manhattan loft gardens. And then the loft part is basically the developer. Is it Harry Hamilton? And decided that what London needed was like some Manhattan movie style lofts like in London. And what makes it a loft and not like an attic is that apparently some of them are a double height. Basically they're spacious and large. Yeah. So on the subject of Harry Handelsson.

It's Handelsman. Oh, Handelsman. Yeah, sorry. Which is a great gay porn star name. India dug up this article from the evening standard which I kind of, I'd initially just had a lot of fun with the press release and I almost didn't read this. And I'm so glad I did because there are some very good quotes in it. So this is a quote from Harry Handelsman.

He says, I imagine the government probably thought if Harry Handelsman is brave enough to come here and build the most expensive building in the UK, maybe we'll invest 1.1 billion in Stratford grins Harry Handelsman. He is like a like, he is like, he is being characterized as like a low key villain in the like clumsy JK Rowling way, but he's doing it to himself. He cuts a very like Gilderoy Lockhart figure just being like, I'm Harry Handelsman, the greatest property developer in the world. You hear the name Harry Handelsman, you think? Yeah, all property developers have the same brain though because he sounds like pre brainworms Trump.

Like back when he was still coherent, you can kind of put it in Trump's voice and it makes sense. Yeah, because it like also the way he says the most expensive building in the UK, not the best, not the most ambitious. It costs a shit ton of money. Yeah, there's a whole floor that's made out of frozen bull semen. That's the level of expense I'm prepared to go to. I'm having this entire building built by children from Pitcairn Island. That's just the water sprinklers filled with perfumes. It's like Nero's Palace.

It's just a complete lack of self-awareness. There's this line on their website where it's actually like, no postcode will ever be the same again. Oh yeah, amazing. Are they going to change the postcode? I think the postcode will be the same. Yeah, it's very, yeah. So this article goes on. I just pulled some more quotes out of this.

Handelsman Concept shoots way above mere extravagance. At MLG, he wants to create a vertical community. He is pissed off at the way apartments in luxury blocks are all sold overseas because of the way of making money. So how do I create a virtual community? The answer is design a building specifically to make people socialize. Oh God, it's all we work. Oh, it gets better. It gets better. You've kind of predicted it.

In painting this project as the answer to people building glass towers that no one can live in because those dastardly Chinese investors are coming here and buying them up, he is building something that they can't buy up because not many of these properties, if any, are for sale. You just rent them from the Manhattan Loft Corporation. Oh wow, he's a woke landlord. He literally is. And there's this brilliant line. I don't know if I think I put it on the notes. It's the telegraph. He did an interview with them and he opens being like, you know, it's like a beautiful piece of art and someone buying it and putting it away in a lot, in a vault.

And, you know, then the world is deprived of this beautiful piece of art, whereas he's creating these apartments that one can rent. And it's basically the same as buying a beautiful piece of art and donating it to a gallery. Yeah, because he's deprived of his rents. It's costing someone £2,000 a week to look at the piece of art. He's depriving the Chinese of their one dream, which is buying a 9-11 proof building. So Handelsman calls his new building completely crazy. Fucking hell.

I'm just a kooky guy. It's just really clunky. This is more quote from him. Because I'm young, I'm still ambitious. He wheezes riley. He won't tell me his age, although the internet seems to concur that the diminutive German is 69. Nice. Handelsman, who inherited his Polish financier father's business on the latter's death in 1982. I mean, presumably the latter's death.

He spent 25 years as one of those horrible guys, an investor in property in the burgeoning areas of London, converted churches, interesting things. In 1992, he set up the Manhattan Loft Corporation and introduced London to the idea of New York loft living. Really, he says he was capitalising on the success of film setting lofts like 1990s ghost. The film setting lofts? Was that a thing that you would see a movie in the 90s and be like, I could really go for a loft. But when it comes to enforced communality, surely the average Londoner would hate being made to talk to strangers. This is one of those ones where they just state the thing that's obviously true, but then needlessly go on to disagree with it.

Handelsman disagrees. It's the same as a real thing, isn't it? They're just kind of smushing you together and be like, socialise. Yeah, well, and also the reason why they're doing this isn't because they actually think it's good. It's because they're just trying to create a hell world where no one can afford to live in their own apartment anymore. So you have to live in the fucking bunk bed storage. So Handelsman disagrees. What the English have is the incredible phenomenon of clubs, whether that's Soho House or the Groucho. Everyone wants to be a member of a club because they want to be with like-minded people.

So why wouldn't you want to live with like-minded people? Everyone's a member of. Like, aside from the joke I made about Riley doing coke at the Cowell ring club, I can't think of anyone else who has ever like joined one. You're living with like-minded people. Who wouldn't want to join this cult? Look, it's a bunch of like-minded people. We're moving to the Amazon rainforest.

The Groucho, which is famously wonderful and everyone loves to be there and you love to love it and you love to see it. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, he's basically come up with like the horrific love child of like Soho House and Airbnb. So you can't, you can either get a short let on a loft, which is like seven days to I think three months, and then a long-term one, which is three months to six months. So this is going to be like a really vibrant community of people that live there for like less than half the year. Finally, it's an apartment. Yeah, finally, it's an apartment I can rent to watch that tape from the ring.

Don't want to overpay. I mean, we know what kind of guys are going to like do this, right? They're going to be like guys who just want to impress. So like they'll rent like a house for a week. Kind of just live the kind of like baller experience before they go back to like their parents' houses in Hull. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So do you think the sky garden is going to get much barbecuing? I mean, maybe.

I mean, they are barbecues there. Oh, they also said this guy used to do the developer. He also did the Chilton Firehouse. So he's basically like captured their chef and is dragging him out there. So it's also going to have a destination restaurant. Oh, this is very fun actually. So you might be thinking like, but what does he say about gentrification? Surely that's a problem.

So even so, I love how just gushing this piece is even so Handelsman is aware of the clashes regeneration can spark and insists he wants the local community to feel part of MLG. It's hoped that the ground floor Stratford Brasserie, headed up by Ben Harrington, formerly of Soho House Group, will become a hub for locals. The idea is to give them a sense of belonging. Oh yeah, I fucking love it. When I'm kicked out of my council house to make way for some ridiculous phone New York development that's full of cunts who live there for like three weeks at a time.

But at least I can go and get a fucking steak freak cooked by some twat who used to work at a gentlemen's club. Fantastic. I love it. Please, daddy, give me more. I mean, will it be a free steak? I don't think so. It's going to be a 25 quid. But that's how you know you belong.

You don't belong to the club until you've paid ridiculous amount of money. You don't really know that you belong in a family until you realize, until like you can reckon with the idea that maybe you might not be able to afford to eat with them. Yeah, it's frankly, it would be insulting to offer them food or housing at anything like an affordable rate because that's just not their culture and you would be prioritizing them. There's no better way to connect with someone than to eat their scraps, right? Exactly. Yeah, that's why dogs love their owners.

Yeah, the plan for ending like community tension and clashes is just to have the working class residents do the lady in the tramp spaghetti thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So one of the perks of this is basically there's a hotel in there, but also the lofts come. They're basically service departments. They come with a hotel like service. So that's part of what you buy is staff. Amazing.

Wow. Because thankfully, you know, buying staff is a new idea and one that hasn't been tried before. Yeah. So there's a final paragraph that I pulled out of this, which really melted my brain. As Handelsman puts it, this is the next level of Airbnb. Each flat has access to all the hotel's amenities, including room service, private butler service, including private butler, butler for money. The target audience is the minimalist millennial generation who value experience over possessions. Ah, yes.

Young people who don't like owning things. Yeah. This is such a recurring villain for us. The millennial generation. To have a sharing economy for slaves. Who actually don't feel forced into any of this, but love it. Exactly. We love it, daddy.

Do it more. Choke us. Who simply get bored with living in one rubbish rental flat after another. Yeah, it's definitely not that people's rent goes up or they get evicted or they have to go somewhere else because their shit can't landlord. No. They just lie on these tipboard of them. We just love taking different tours of the tubes and taking various night buses. Yeah.

We're all doing the knowledge. We all want to become black cab drivers. We're doing it by living in every area of London for three weeks and thereby learning all of the streets. This is like the insane developer brain disease that has mutated to the next level where first they were like, we're going to build all these towers because all of these people from overseas are going to buy them and then they're like, fuck. They're not buying them. I think it was Judith Evans in the Financial Times last week was like, yeah, there's at least 1,500 unsold luxury prime properties. Is the shard half empty?

Well, the shard has private apartments on top of it that were meant to have this hotel concierge style service, but they launched kind of like just before the crash, which makes me terrified that we were about to have another crash because they're launching this entire fucking tower full of these things. Crazy boondoggle towers are actually the harbinger of doom. Yeah, all the harbinger of 70s disaster movies. Like this is the kind of thing that would catch fire in a movie with like Paul Newman or someone, and they'd have to like climb up this monument to hubris. They'd be like, thank God for the gap in the middle.

That plane went straight through. Yeah. Unfortunately, there's no sprinkler system. If Grenfell had had firebreak floors in it, then it wouldn't have burned. You'd have thought of that. So, yeah, because like with Grenfell, they weren't really playing Django. It was more like kaplunk. Going back, before I derailed myself there, they're now, so instead of building to sell,

they do this build to rent thing. And the way that they're selling it is being like, oh, you know, this will be really helpful because, and I've actually, I've heard a developer say this with their mouth. We will have like this new super customer of millennial that will be able to move whenever they want to. And that means that all of these places are going to have to compete for amenities. And it's going to like keep the standard really high because, oh, you know, like, if you don't like the pool table of this one, then you're just going to, you know, pack up your bags and go next week across town to another one that's got like better flat screen TVs.

And it's like, it's not how it works. A lot of competition for bridges to sleep under. The standard is very high. So there's an amazing final quote from this article where I read it and I was like, literally like tearing my own eyeballs out in the notes. It's just, yeah. So this is like kind of paraphrasing Handelsman. There is energy in the temporary as Handelsman puts it.

Yeah. And it goes hand in hand with the idea of communal living. When I lived in a dormitory at university, I was very happy because we're always hanging out in other people's rooms. He says, why should that stop when it comes to slightly more luxurious living? Oh, I don't know. Cause it's not in any way fucking luxurious, is it? Cause it's fucking shit.

Cause yeah, you do it when you're 18. Cause you're all just like fucking eating microwave burgers and getting pissed on Sambuca all the time. But maybe when you're like 40, you don't want to fucking live in a dormitory. You don't live in a dormitory. Do you smug cunt? There we go. Oh, it's good actually.

That's why we're doing it. It's not cause like we're exploiting young people and the fact they have no money. It's cause it's actually good cause we'd all rather live like this. Like, oh, I wouldn't live like this, but you would love it. I would love to like, you would love to be 45 years old and go into your mate's house and like drinking tinnies of like, is it dark fruits? Yeah, there's dark fruits. Yeah.

Sculling VBs in the back of the ute. That's what you want. You love to see it. You love to do it. Yeah. I don't drink the Kool-Aid, but you will love it. Yeah. I want to graph the number of listeners with Milo's heart pressure, like blood pressure rather.

Cause I will die of a stroke one day and it will be on this podcast. And it will be the most popular episode. The number of downloads will be way up. Yeah. They'll be like, whoa, that was an amazing bit where Milo died. I hope he's okay. We'll hold like a vigil for you in our like communal bedroom slash apartment slash dormitory. Yeah.

Which we're all getting kicked out of in three weeks time. Well, exactly. We'll bury you by a motorway because that was the latest piece of government advice, isn't it? What? Oh yeah, like they want to bury people like along the M10 and stuff. We've run out of space in our cemeteries. So we're going to start burying people along the motorway.

Heat the body out the window. That is literally a Kray twins move. That was how they were like, go do all those murders and getting away with them in the cities because they had all those people in construction who were concreting them into the M40, which was being built. Jimmy Hoffa was very ecologically sustainable. Exactly. Now, that would be the best development of fucking this guy, Henry Hansman, if he just

built a tower block that was just mostly constructed out of corpses. There was that mad Victorian guy who when the cemetery started overflowing was like, what the fuck are we going to do? And they held like an architecture and design engineering competition. And one guy was like, we're going to build a pyramid. We're going to put the bodies in the pyramid. And they seriously visited it for a while. Literally, they did it in ancient Egypt.

I like the idea of the prophecy 9-11 happening to this building, but it's been built with corpses. And so you just end up with like, well, the death toll seems to be 100,000. Amazing. I just love the idea of them all just like taking the pistol. You're going to put the bodies in a pyramid. And that's your idea. And he's like, it's not a pyramid.

It's a multi-level cemetery. It's a marketing scheme. I mean, it's like, you know, it's a direct burial opportunity. Do you think ancient Egyptians were like, you should really learn to write hieroglyphics if you don't want to keep working as a farm worker? Yeah, exactly. I couldn't agree more. Learn to glyph.

Yeah. Learn to glyph. Learn to glyph. Glyph Rhys Jones over here. Anyway. So anyway, there was a little closing note on this, which India found. I was asking them the Financial Times entitled Why Buyers Are Turning Away From Luxury Property by Judith Evans.

And basically, she cites the story of this guy who's from Bangalore who bought a 1.4 million pound. Of course, this is from the Financial Times. So it's designed to be like a sob story of this poor man and his 1.4 million pounds. He bought this 1.4 million pound. That didn't happen to you. Yeah. People are reading this like, God, I have 1.4 million pounds.

Do you know where your 1.4 million pounds is? Big Walmart accountant. Anyway. So he bought this 1.4 million pound apartment off plan somewhere on the South Bank with views of the city of London and the shard. It has views. It must be worth that much. And then it says, but his purchase soured quickly.

When Bandari approached a mortgage lender, it valued the property not up 15% more than he had agreed to play, but 20% less. Oh, and? Damn. I just had an extremely cursed thought while you were reading that. And you were talking about whether you know where your money is. Bank managers are just Joseph Fritzel, but for money. Keeping it all locked in their basement.

They're fucking your money in their basement to create their own incestuous children. And that's debt. Yo, that's why you don't keep your money in the bank because they be fucking your money. And the money ain't worth as much once they've fucked it. So I keep my money in the mattress where I fuck it. You see? It all makes sense. And it's just talking about how all of these off-plan luxury developments are all just like

their value is entirely notional. So there's this quote here. But despite the expansion of global wealth, the surge in demand for luxury apartments did not last. Developers over exuberance and government crackdowns combined to end the selling frenzy and leave developers, lenders and property investors battling to absorb the fallout. I can't remember the last... Oh, no, indeed. I can't remember the last time I sold a new bill property at a profit, says Charles Jordan,

an agent at my London home, who resold Bandari's apartment. He said, crying, crying into a mug of tears. Tears that you can drink if you subscribe to the Trash Ucher Patreon. Oh my God, that could be like our version of gamer, like gamer girl water. Oh, yes, the bath water, but it's only for sentimental purposes. Yeah, property developers. Having an emotional gamer girl bath. I fell into a wormhole if I like weird sexy cute Instagram account.

Did it end with you buying the bath water? I didn't buy the bath water, but if I could maybe buy it in installments, if I could buy it off-plan. Yeah, I really resent actually like how picky gamers have gotten, because like back in my day, if you were like a video games nerd, you were just excited about the prospect of any woman letting you in her general vicinity. Whereas now they're like, oh no, it has to be a girl who also games. That's the only thing that gets me hard, just like regular women aren't up to scratch. And it's like, fuck you, you're a basement nerd.

You stay where you get any crumb of pussy you're offered, sir. Don't you be picking what kind of pussy it is? That's not how this works. Anyway, trash feature is an anti-gamer podcast. Yes, always. We don't game, we shall not game. Never. Wow, so it seems like a lot of this like value and the commodity trading is really a loosery.

And when it falls apart, people kind of lose a lot of wealth. Just a thought. There's also this like really horrible kind of line in this article where they speak it to some academic. And basically, skyscrapers are super expensive to maintain. Like if you build these things out of glass and like those lifts that go all the way to the top, like they will need a replacing eventually. And part of the way that they make money back on these schemes is charging like astronomical service charges. So you live there, but you also pay a fee every year.

And if no one is buying them to live in them to pay the service fees, they are just going to break down. Incredible. And then, you know, it was quite optimistic. So he was like, and then in a hundred years time, we'll just have this like bank of down like towers along the Thames. And it's like, wow, in a hundred years time, like if we make it that far, like. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to getting taken out by like a pane of glass that just drops from its improperly secured frame. And smashes into the street and just mulches me. Well, it actually happened. That's already happened. Yeah. Sure. Like, I love that people are dying in very like Laurel and Hardy Marx Brothers kind of scenarios from this. Why did I coat the outside of my building in pianos?

Because it's luxury. Nothing says the upper class is like a piano. When your entire wall is made of giant anvils with the weight painted on them in big letters. Yeah, exactly. Well, I coated I coated my entire building in paintings of tunnel entrances. Keep flying into them. Yeah. Fuck.

Accent is like a 9-11 every day due to the design of the building. Simone, my God, it's weird that they're telling me to fly through this tunnel, but I guess I'll do it. Yeah. No, I just imagining now a sort of like I am legend where it's just like London 2100. Like the only people that survive are the irony podcasters. Roving around, rambling into microphones turned on, but periodically being crushed to death by falling panes of glass and a bit of community. Some kind of future of trash, if you will.

Indeed. That trash is society. Yeah. Well, this monstrosity of an episode has gone on for about nine and seven minutes. I think this is great. I think Riley is going to go on holiday loads and I will always be asked that. Yeah, just kind of. You'll be asked that.

It'll just be like, he might just say, well, I'm just going to do trash future from my laptop and the shitty mixer that we started off with. Because truly, I can't trust this band of idiots. This is how we push it back to a dictatorship. He's like, we tried democracy and didn't work out. Riley Palmer and I did one to record an episode on a sing-star microphone set. Very nice. Well, none of the faults, none of the faults with this episode could be drawn to you, India.

Thank you very much for coming on. Thanks for having me back. Any blame lies solely with us. Yeah. Yeah, this has been trash future of the podcast about how the future is trash apparently because everything's terrible. So I don't know what kind of episode this is going to be. Let's assume it's a free one. We have a Patreon.

We can't make this a paid for episode. We can't do that. Look, you can't own a podcast. We're going to sell this like the Game of Girls sells her bath water. Exactly. This is going to come in a special tub of like the water that we have communally bathed in. And you shouldn't listen to it. You should only buy it for sentimental reasons.

You should never open it. You're millennials. You're not going to own an episode of a podcast. You get bored of them. You move from episode to episode. You want to rent. You want to stay nimble. Okay.

So it's five bucks a month. You get a bonus episode every week. You know how it works. Maybe it'll be better than this episode. Maybe it won't. Who knows? Take the plunge. Gamble.

If you like to gamble, baby, I'm your man. We have some live shows. The 8th of August at Birmingham Transform. If you're in Birmingham, why not come to that? Soweto Kinch is involved. It's going to be great. And the 10th of August at the Edinburgh Fryan Gate. Edinburgh Fryan Gate.

I'm going to try and make it to the Birmingham one. If you don't, though, it is going to be Birmingham cis-formed. Nice. Very nice. And also, we are still selling t-shirts. We've got about like 45 of the wee bastards left. So if you would like one, please email your size and address to trashitchapodcastatgmail.com. And a picture of your feet.

Yeah. And they are 15 pounds. And a jar of your bath water. Yeah. 15 pounds plus postage for Patreon subscribers. 20 pounds plus postage for non-subscribers. So, hey, if you weren't subscribed before, maybe subscribe now and get a discount on the t-shirt, because the subscription is $5, but the saving is five pounds, which at the

current rate of exchange is actually a saving. We live in a society. We do. And that's time of recording. Yeah. It's a really good t-shirt, too. It's got skulls on it. It looks cool.

You should buy it. It's bitching as hell. Yeah. You're going to look like the Punisher, but a leftist version. So the Punisher. All right, everyone. Goodbye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.