TRASHFUTURE - Magic: the Trans-ening feat. Juliet Jacques

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

This week we have a packed studio featuring Riley, Milo, Hussein, Alice, and friend of the show Juliet Jacques (@zinovievletter) to discuss her new book Variations. However, we also discuss trouble in SoftBank world, a BBC article about how humans will evolve into two bifurcated species of Virgin and Chad, and--hence the title--a recent brain-melt Quillette article about how apparently anime and Magic: the Gathering make you trans. *PRE-ORDER JULIET’S BOOK* You can get it here: https://www.influxpress.com/variations If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture Please consider donating to charities helping Palestinian people here: https://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/palestine-emergency-appeal/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3oja5NbR8AIVSOmyCh2LdQ9rEAAYAiAAEgKM9PD_BwE and here: https://www.grassrootsalquds.net/ *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello, and welcome to a Summer Swelterers episode of TF. It is Riley, Milo, Alice, and Hussein, and we are joined by a three-time repeat guest, so you now have full lounge access, Juliet Jax, Juliet, how's it going? I am all right, yes, how are you? I'm very well, and in fact, I think this marks your third time on the show, first time on a free episode. Yeah. So...

That is right. Mark that on your bingo card. Yeah, so it's the free one with Juliet Jax. Juliet collecting her 50% offer Angus Steakhouse's voucher. Yeah, if you do two bonuses and a free one, you get a little card that enable, that gives you half off for a purchase price of 30 pounds or more, no drinks, Angus Steakhouse, Gourmet Burger Kitchen, places such as this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wimpy, that kind of thing. Yeah, well, that's that card. You need to go four times before you start getting a... Yeah, but writer, if there's Mark down food, I'll take it. That's right. But no, Juliet knows what side our bread's butted on. Joining us at the TF cash bar. Yeah, you have access to the cash bar, but it is still a cash bar.

You can hear the inner sanctum where Patrick Wyman is saying something. Everyone's wearing sex masks. No, but... No, they're not legally, they're not wearing sex masks. Legally, they're not wearing sex masks. Patrick Wyman is not a sex party. He's just a very big guy. We are, but we are very happy to be joined by Juliet, whose new book Variations is,

I believe, out and available for purchase at the moment. Pre-order out on the 17th of June. That's right. Well, pre-order... So, let's get this in right now. Pre-order Variations for a series of short, short, short stories. By the book. By the book.

By the book. That's right. I have read several of them. They are compelling. By the book. Who, boy, are they short? The shortest stories. Yes.

We know that none of you have an attention span. They're really not that short. They're probably too long for, like, the modern attention span. Do you find rupee core to be too long? That's right. Yeah. Six tweets. At first, we are going to be talking about how we are going to beat the heat.

Oh, beat the hate. Sorry. We're all going to beat the heat. We're actually recording this. It's so hot in here, hopefully. Well, because we're not in the office. We are actually in... It's hot in fucking Glasgow, too, somehow.

There's climate happening. But we're not in Glasgow, either. We are all recording this from inside the Sky Pool in the Nine Helms Development in South London. Oh, yeah. Splish-splashing around in this giant, poor-person-proof, acrylic box that is full of pool water and suspended, like, 50 stories in the air for some reason. So, is that on elephant and castle?

Is that what that is? Towards Vauxhall. We're slowly concentrating this sort of vass of our own hot piss that we're just swimming around in in the sun. We're all standing over a small crack that is slurring to spiderweb a little bit bigger. It would be very funny if someone were to... And I'm not suggesting someone do this. I'm just saying that hypothetically, it would be very funny if someone got, like, brown

dye that would be exactly the color of diarrhea if mixed with pool water and from a drone, say. For example, just as an example, it would be illegal to do this, so we can't recommend that you do. We're to drop it into that pool. I certainly can't recommend that you find some way of, like, using the shit-libbed lions led by Donky's projector and projecting the image of a spiderweb and glass crack onto the pool.

No, that's real chaos. No, that's funny. Yeah. Yeah. So, for some, I think we've talked about this before, how there are these developments that are just, like, yes, we've done a kind of Dickens, but we've done, like, a heavy-handed version of Snowpiercer, where... Are you familiar with hubris, Mr. Bonner?

Where basically it's like... Join me, Mr. Chopper, in the Hamasha pool. Where essentially we have, like, all of these wonderful amenities for the people that pay, like, over, like, 1.5 million pounds for a flat in these developments. And then the people who pay the Pavo rates of three-quarters of a million. Yeah, you know, the scum. Yeah. Of course.

No, the proper working men of England. Yeah, the bin men. Yeah. They're unable. But the thing is, right, maybe it's good that you're not able to access the death trap pool. I started off as a bin man. I worked my way up now, got my own lorry.

I watched Question Time during the election campaign, like, 80 grand a year. That's nothing. Yeah. Absolutely. That's not enough to even afford access to the silly, like, playroom for adults that apparently infinite money buys you. There are podcasters that earn that. You have to use the back door because they don't want to see you in the lobby with the

rich people. Yeah. Yeah, the rich people are all like, no, I'm a very serious, but I am the cream of the intellectual crop. I am a heroic figure making, improving society. I am why things work. I am the Randy and Superman. And I want my special, I want my special pool, I want my special, my special pool with only

my friends and it's suspended over the motorway. That's all right. That was awesome. It really struck me. It's like, the area around this pool is just very kind of boring and bland. And like, if you're standing there, I was looking at the picture and there are a couple of swimmers there, they're like sort of looking out and I'm kind of like, what are you looking at?

Are you just like looking at people? The Sainsbury's. Coming out of the supermarket. Yeah. There were like, there was a safe, there was like a supermarket nearby there. Are you looking at cars, drivers, cars and people going in the portal? To perceive the roof of a Sainsbury's. That's a privilege.

Oh, they put ultra porn up there. You know, generally speaking, like Egyptian pharaohs rarely, if ever, got to see the roof of a Sainsbury's. I mean, this is all sounding like the precursor to a 21st century Ozymandias, isn't it? Yeah. I have seen more, the roofs of more Sainsbury's in half an hour than a medieval peasant. It's just kind of sad, but like the new rich, like the new rich settlements are just kind of boring.

We don't make rich, remember when the rich people used to be hard, now all they want to do is like go in ballfets and swim in small swimming pools. They used to be hard and chivalry. Yeah. I bet all the apartments are like falling apart inside. They have those light switches that are like really confusing and have like nine buttons when they only need two. There's apparently a ton of water damage within them.

Are you saying there's water damage in the place? Are you saying that they didn't make the place with the big, dangerous pool? Very well. No. Oh, no. Yeah. It's also very funny that you can only use the pool if you own an apartment there, which means I can imagine just like looking at it and be like, oh, let's not bother with

the pool today. It's full of Chinese private equity funds. Yeah. But that's the other thing. Even if it's not, you have to hang out with only your neighbors for the rest of time. But no, rich people love that. But the other thing is, I think you brought up a good point here, Juliette, right? Which is like, yeah, rich people, they used to make stuff.

They used to like be patrons of the arts. This pool, this roof, this stupid rooftop pool between two blocks of flats. This is our generation's roof of the Sistine Chapel. I think this is our generation's like lead in the water pipes. Yeah. Things that we've just gone entirely mad. But nice pool you've got there. Be sure you've got some Visigoths in it.

So the first topic I want to discuss. Project the image of a Visigoth. Yeah. Be sure you have someone to sack it. Oh, no. A vandal. So the first topic of discussion I want to bring us in today. Ah, they're literally vandalizing the pool.

Thank you, Milo. Whoa. What do you think that word came from? It's a coincidence that the word vandal and the word vandalize. Can I say this one thing about the pool? Which is like, too saying, last word on the pool. I wonder whether like, I didn't know whether Milo, you've ever been to any like kind of shitty English or like Juliette, like whether you've been in any of the shitty like communal

pools and towns and like you have that, you always have that like one lifeguard that's like been given power and like just is a real kind of bastard about it. They wonder whether like they have that same kind of lifeguard in the room. It can throw you off the roof. I can only recommend you all take a trip to Darling's and Red Hill. Like he aggressively like blows his whistle at like some rich guy trying to like bomb in his room. Nine Elms, so he must be Australian as well.

That's right. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. No povos in the pool. All right. So I'm going to move us on to discussing our next segment, which I know I've discussed this on The Bottleman with Dan Beckner, but I'd like to know what you all think about some of this, uh, uh, Michigan glass coming up around Havana syndrome, which if you haven't

heard of it is, uh, American spies, diplomats and other foreign officials, getting some strange symptoms well abroad. Yeah. They're giving the CIA anxiety disorders, which I thought it was like a sore throat, fever, cough. Well, well, here's the thing, Juliet, I'm going to talk, I, I, there was a New Yorker article. There was an article that came out about it a couple of weeks ago.

I looked at it, wanted to talk about it, but I wanted to hold off for more information to come in. Yeah. A New Yorker article has now come out and boy, did it have some interesting information about specific stories of people with the specific symptoms of Havana syndrome. So when I heard the word Havana syndrome, I kind of assumed it was like sort of like, you know, when you want a sort of friends with benefits thing with your captors, but like not necessarily anything too serious.

Yeah. I want to have like a mojito with my captors. No. So basically the idea is getting tense with my captors. You know what I mean? The, the theory is that Cuban or Russian or Chinese or all of the above agents have been using energy weapons. No, I'm not joking. Provided by Jeremy Corbyn. They've been shooting CIA guys with a beam that makes them feel weird.

So, oh no. And, but what I think is very interesting is the circumstances where they all claim that these happen. So I'm going to read from the article here says, during the final weeks of the Trump administration, a senior official on the National Security Council had recently returned to work from a work trip abroad. He left his office and headed towards his car. And as he walked, he began to hear a ringing in his ears.

His body went numb and he had trouble controlling the movement of his legs and fingers. Trying to speak to pass her by, he had difficulty forming words and he soon realized he was in no condition to drive. That's one case. It just sounds like he had a TIA. The bloody Chinese have fucked up my quailudes with their energy weapons. Here's another one. In the Hotel Nacional in August, an officer awoke with a start to a low humming, low humming

noise and a feeling of intense pressure in her head. She then got trouble with her eyesight and balance, making it difficult to drive. Another one. In May 2019, a large group of White House staffers checked into an intercontinental hotel in London before dawn on the day of the president's arrival. Sandra Adams, a mid-level White House staffer, had a breakfast in the hotel before returning to her room. When she returned to her room, a ringing sound and distinctly painful seemed to

envelop her. Now, what I have noticed here, right, that any time American foreign officials or espionage people or whatever, they go to a hotel for a while and then they get very sick and get a headache, can't talk and aren't okay to drive. I'm pretty sure these people are all getting very drunk and then saying the Russians did it. Yeah, the Russians got me cross-faded. Yeah, the Russians got me leaned. The Russians said, do the energy beam. I think I'm going to need a 20 McNuggets sharebox.

The thing is, I don't really have a position on whether the beam weapon that gives you anxiety is real or not, right? Because like, much like the UFO things that I think are just drones, I think there's obviously going to be some technological capacity that like states have that they don't tell people about and we're not going to find out about for like 20, 30 years. My concern, right, is that if this is real and it is happening, it rules because so far, like in an entirely uncharacteristic way, the Chinese, Cuban, Russians have been very, very judicious with this because the only people they have hit with the beam that

gives you anxiety have been like CIA guys or White House people or whatever. And the day they hit a real person with this is the day I'll care. But until then, right, like they mostly just seem to be making people who should feel bad and anxious about their jobs already feel bad and anxious. Are we sure this isn't what gave Raphael bear that heart attack? What I'm seeing is- That was one time they missed. I think the Russians have invented a fucking conscience, right?

And they're just zapping people with them. They're going, oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Maybe I shouldn't be doing all the shit that I do for a living. Before turning the conscious ray on himself. I am supporting kleptocracy. Wait until this hits the British commentary app, man. It's going to be amazing.

Well, I was not on gay honeymoon at all. I was there to kill men. What I'm very interested in actually is if the GRU are listening to this, can you please come and play the brown note at the nine elms rooftop swimming pool? Mix it up a bit. Do some more fun stuff instead of just ambiently giving a guy a headache. I should only use this power to annoy. The builders keep shooting these microwaves at me

and I'm feeling really bad about my bow tie. Yeah, that's right. It is very funny to imagine the Russians of all the Chinese have developed this dastardly technology and they're using it to give a CIA guy a mild headache. So what the theory is, right, is that they say Russia is using microwave radiation devices aiming them at American officials to collect information from their computers and phones. However, these microwave theoretical microwave devices leave no trace

on the extremely sensitive electronics they're supposed to be scraping information from, but then give you all the symptoms of ketamine. Well, I mean, now that's just you're just telling me that the Russians are extremely bad at designing these things and have inadvertently made an anxiety rate when they meant to make a... Yeah, now I'm thinking this is more plausible than the Russians. What I also think is very funny and again, I think supports my... These people are just getting drunk and blaming it on the Russians theory,

because how would a State Department guy even know that he was drunk? Like those guys just pickle themselves in whiskey from when they leave Yale. Yeah, well, this is also the finding that this explains how the Russians accidentally developed this because the guy who was developing it and they were testing it on were all drunk all the time anyway, so they always had a splitting headache. So they had no idea that this was a side effect of the ray. Kind of just sounds like a really rubbish Malcolm Larry novel. So what they say is they have no signs of physical impact on the skulls of the victims,

but what they did find was damage to the patient's brains. The volume of white matter was smaller than in a similar group of healthy adults. That's called being in politics. We've just discovered that that's bad for your brain. But also that if your entire job as well is just like, I don't know, signing off on vaporizing weddings in Yemen and Libya, then maybe you do have some kind of white matter limitation. Are we profanology now?

I guess so. Only on State Department guys. Classic CIA brain pan. Yeah. So anyway, it is, I think, very funny that they're claiming some like, yeah, just dumb bullshit illness. I think our position is like, either this isn't real or it is real and it's good. Yeah, exactly.

It isn't real and they're just making it stupid. This is an excuse to go to work drunk that got out of hand. Frankly, the frankly working in the beltway should carry some physical personal hazard, just to even things out a bit. Like just on a moral level, you don't get to like sign off on droning wedding parties all day every day for 20 years. And then wine when somebody like makes you feel weird in your office. It'd be funny if like, just as a way to like, even things out,

we decided to make it like legal to drink drive in Washington DC. Just like, yeah, you can work in the State Department, but you might get fucking hit by a Chevy. We built, we built in a thing to drone so that like one in every thousand just flies back and hits the CIA headquarters. You gotta be really certain if you're going to use one. So that's, it was the plot of a, that was sort of the plot of a movie that I'm half remembering.

Where Spence is confidential too. There's a tree in Eddie Murphy's yard and every time he says a word, a leaf falls off of it. Yeah, never mind. Which word is that? Anyway, this is, that is like the director being like, no, it's fine because we've got Eddie Murphy to do it. That'd be like a fun idea for like an app that comes out of Paula, right? But every time you say the word, we'll plant a tree.

Yeah. I wrote the script, but I put asterisim when I wrote it. I'm giving a carbon offset for my slur. Can't be mad at me for saying that. All right, children, children, children. Next, before we, before we get further into the other, other content, a more front matter. Boy is some stuff happening with soft bank. For instance, we noticed that the CIA people have a lower concentration of front matter.

That's right. Yeah, they're very flat chested. Yeah, yeah. Just like a Kendall. Yeah, that's right. And they're saving, we're going to crowdfund top surgery for CIA agents. They're going to, they need big honkers. That's right.

And when they have big honkers, they shouldn't have honkers anymore. We need to reverse the honkers situation at the CIA. That's right. All of them have huge titties. Yeah. All right. We just Alan Dulles just with some heave and boobs. Yeah, cool.

But just being continuing to be the life of the party, continuing to be a womanizer meeting with Reinhard Galen, just being like, Galen, my eyes are up here. I've heard of Dallas international, but I didn't know that Dallas was into naturals. There you go. There it is. Man. Little button on the segment.

Yeah. No. So let's, let's talk about soft bank stuff because boy is it ever back in. Da news. The news zone. Yeah, that's right. Dog damn news. Welcome to the goddamn news.

Uh, West Virginia governor, Jim Justice, that is his real name is, well, remember we talked about this. We talked about, um, Bluestone resources. I came into this job to do one thing. That's right. Mild economic reform. Jim Justice. So Jim Justice, uh,

Resone the city. You got to say the words in that tone every time. Jim Justice. The governor of West Virginia, uh, whose name we've said, uh, Well, he was the, uh, owner of a little company called Bluestone resources. Now, if you think back to our green sill two episodes, Rob Smith, remember we talked about Bluestone resources as the company for which was created prospective receivables financing, which is where you borrow against, uh, money that you don't even know you might make.

It's a point of listen. I, I use the men and black memory wipe thing on myself at the end of everything we record. For example, money you might make from a hit YouTube series such as Jim Justice with Jim Justice, where he goes around the gym, stopping people from grunting and making them put the weights back. It's like bar rescue, but it's Jim Justice. Jim Justice might have to make Jim Justice because, because his now turns out that the, uh, governor of West Virginia and owner of Bluestone resources,

same guy, Jim Justice, is personally on the hook for like three quarters of a billion dollars for a green. So when this happens, oopsie, oopsie. Oh no, those chickens, they've come home to roost. I hate it when they do that. Yeah. It's, uh, I dig Joe Manchin's going to have to like use his, uh, monopoly over the vote somehow fix this situation. Surely David Cameron can help out with this. Just getting a bunch of like nice texts from David Cameron.

Hope you have a good time in the beast of the, in the belly of the beast, Mr. Justice. Have you been talking about the belly of the beast? Hope you're having some, lots of justice at the gym, gym. Yes. Love to touch base soon. Do you see your, your Cameron, a little bit Gorka there. Yeah.

I don't know why I was doing Gorka. I've been working with a company called green sale. Yeah. Have you heard of fucking a pig? I sure have. Join me in the referendum zone. What, what I think is very funny is that, um, justice is being sued by, uh, basically like there's this whole justice.

There's this whole net. When the house of cards fell down with a music stop. State of collapse that we're in. We're just suing concepts. It turns out, it turns out there was like, there were no chairs and the music stopped. And so now everyone is, everyone involved is suing everyone else. It's a drum money that no one has. So right so far, uh, there are $2.3 billion of assets that are going to be hard to recover.

So 1.2 billion of those is all related to Sanjeev Gupta, about 700 million as related to Jim justice, which again, the governor personally guaranteed. So I'm very excited to see the jumble sale outside the governor's mansion. It's just like three or four guys is what you're telling me. He, wait, hang on. So he, in his capacity as governor, no, he's just governor and he also owns this company. Oh, and he also personally guaranteed them.

It wasn't like the state of West Virginia is guaranteeing this, but I'm actually going to personally guarantee it. No, that happened with some, from some German municipalities. They ended up accidentally basically on the hook for a bunch of Sanjeev Gupta loans. Oh no. Yep. Whoopsie, Daisy. Sorry, taxpayers. Clans, what have you signed here?

It says that we are liable. It says we have to suck them off if we don't pay. Yeah, which is actually fine. But that's what, everywhere in Germany is that one club in Berlin. That's right. The whole thing. Yeah. I'd be sad if Burkhain got shot down because of Sanjeev Gupta.

That would stop. If we can't pay, we have to give them 800 guns of our piss. So the other funny thing though, the other funny thing, well, all of these bitter recriminations about sort of soft banker going on, there's another 440 million to account for. And that was all supposed to be sent to Katera, the construction, modular construction company that we've talked about time and again on this. Like shipping container shit.

No, they're doing more like prefab and put it together shit. Right. Okay. Yeah. Where they say they are transforming construction to the innovation and process and technology. And they are the architect, material supplier, manufacturer, general contractor, trade contractor. They're going to be one of these, those companies, right?

Just to remind everyone that like does every bit of the housing value chain. And then that's how they're saying we're going to fix all the high prices that way. One of these things where we're going to pull on all the levers that aren't connected to anything. So we're not going to do anything. Of course, they wouldn't do anything about it because it's a fucking startup. Join me in the command module. And they have these like, you know, large multi-year pipelines of work, blah, blah, blah, blah. One of SoftBank's big, big triumph investments.

They were going to be like, you know, all we had, we worked, but like Katera is going to save us. Right. Gone. Cablamo out of business. Oh, not Cablamo. Another SoftBank company, but I'm walking up to the TF plane and I'm drawing another chalk mark on it.

Ordered looking through your finances and like, so I'm sorry to tell you that your finances are, and I don't use this term lightly, Cablamo. Oh no, not Cablamo, the worst thing they can be. I was hoping maybe Insolvent, but not Cablamo. Yeah, indeed. Getting fucked down a lot of financial jargon here. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, that is right. So we are... Most financial jargon actually comes from the early Batman comics. Biff. Yeah. Yeah, you just get a letter from Barfin that just says, pow. Yeah. Oh no.

We have to go sit in my soundproof Renault Clio and think about this. So anyway, yeah, so the Katera, big, big SoftBank investing, much maligned on this podcast, also gone. I'm very excited for Vue. I think Vue, the glass, the glass that tells you if it's raining, I think that's going to be next. That's right. So, hey, what do you think?

Say, if you're a patron on this, leave a comment in the comments below this episode. What do you think is going to be... No, this is the free one. Well, no, we also published one on Patreon. Yeah, yeah. Those are the only comments where you read. Yeah.

If you're a nonpaying listener, don't comment because you can't. Pay us. That's right. So we're not reading you if you don't pay us. If... Tell us in the comments, what do you think the next SoftBank a Vision Fund investing to go Kaplamo is going to be? Because now we've got...

TF has claimed two. I'm going to say it was all us. That's right. And it's much like if you tweet negatively about Bashar al-Assad. Yeah, that's right. It's just collapsed on their own. What do you do at trash huge? You have the door gunner.

That's right. Alison a little turret. That's right. So yeah, but basically they're shutting down so hard that they're not going to pay any severance packages. I use paid time off. They're basically like there's no Katera here and there never was. We've just closed the doors, changed the locks,

put up a bunch of different signs. The TF Lancaster bomber ominously flying towards the transparent glass pool. It's like, ah, they're going to toss narrowly over the top of us, made of the glass that tells you if it's raining. That's right. So basically what they blamed were the cost of labor and construction materials with which we're both rising. Which is true for some reason.

Also, this company has been a complete dog for the last little while. Good riddance. Died like a dog. Yeah, I died like a coward. Went out like Stan Jarrah. Yeah, that's right. Anyway, it's very funny that they, yeah, it's a basically a housing developer that managed to go bust to the middle of a permanent bull market and property.

Incredible stuff. How that, I don't know how that happened, but I thought of them had sky pools. Yeah, that's right. None of them had pools that were connecting the two buildings. All of the, you know what they should have done? They could have connected all the buildings together with one big sky pool. It would be funny if there wasn't the walkway

and the only thing connecting the two buildings was the pool. So if you wanted to go and visit your friend in the end, you had to swim there. Even if it's winter. Yeah, that's right. It keeps you fit. Yeah, yeah. Anyway.

Greasing myself up to swim across. I mean, Petty trying to walk across the water. The last thing, right? As fun as it is that when these big stupid startups, scammy companies go bust and it is fun and I will enjoy watching it happen, is that the way that they're structured means that the people who are in charge of them are already set for life. Doesn't matter.

Yeah. So, you know, I don't know. Let's say that guy, maybe he should walk around, you know, downtown Washington, D.C. You know, up and down in front of like the Eisenhower building or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Walk around underneath the pool. Yeah. Maybe maybe just like crossing the road suddenly in Washington, D.C. Hey, you know what? Find out where there's going to be a big gathering of CIA people and then sit between them and suspicious looking people. You know, maybe get a little crossfire. Maybe finally, you know, that we can get some guys in the anxiety ray

who actually continue to deserve it. Anyway, that is all of the news. Oh, so quite short on the news this week. Do you want the world as your problem news drop at this point? Yeah, go for it. I got to scroll here because I'm still on. You offer something you were not prepared to translate. I know, I know.

Yeah, that little drop signals the end of the news. That's right. Yeah. That's what they play when it's over. That is. Look, so moving into a little bit of a subject about getting your gender trans. Great. A very normal, very normal discussion to have.

The OB's wonderful pedophiles. Transing genders. We're all getting our transed up. So, Julia, you and I sort of spoke about this before. I thought you were going to say you and I have less trans than you have. Actually, that's right. You just knew me after. Yeah, rally has real passing privilege.

I have to say. We talked about this before, right? This is something that I think, I don't know, it's important to talk about frequently because it is certainly an ongoing political process. And we owe it to ourselves to essentially never be complacent. But also, it's quite challenging. Yeah, and let's face it. We don't talk about it like a tenth as much as they do.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that is so true. That is true. No one thinks about being trans more than TERFs. That's right. I think they think about it more than I do. And I've written like two books and a newspaper column on it. Riley's Law, which we have formulated based on observation Riley made is that

once you start posting transphobia on the internet, you will never post normally ever again. There is one person, I think, who I know is like a bit TERF-y, but hasn't just been completely taken over by it. And I won't name them, but they're like a former MP. But they're literally the only person I can think of who's like flirted with TERF-ism. Everyone else just like on Monday, they're just like, so I'm not really sure about the concept of cisgender. Isn't it just creating new binaries?

And then by like Tuesday evening, they're like waving a pitchfork in one hand and a copy of Janice Raymond's The Transsexual Empire and the other. And just like screaming about how the genders are going to like bring about the rapture. Well, we're not we're going to get rid of all the bathrooms. No more bathrooms for anyone. That's right. You hold it in. There's just a UK border sign at the airport and it just says, hold it. Piss in the bush.

Everything in Britain just gets way faster because everyone has to piss all the time. Yeah, it's like it's like being an astronaut. You just piss in the suit. Yeah, like the news all of a sudden takes like sort of five minutes. Because it's like, today in Headline story MPs announced a new, just become this like nation of adult baby is like the adult baby takeover is very much on. Yeah, I would love to. I love the idea of like Kyrstarma justifying why you should hold it in.

Well, I welcome toilets, but I think the government could go further and issue everyone with a kind of state nappy. You've got to go like faster because he'd be holding in his piss. Are they going to have to rename the red wall? The yellow wall? The Irinal? I'd like to say just before I run off, because I do quite need to piss. It is like everyone I think in this country deserves a nappy, which means tested,

but ultimately there for those who need it, but thank you. That's great. All that N2 shows us is that Kyrstarma is a man who loves his family. He loves piss. And he loves this country. Quite prime ministerial actually. Yeah, he did. He was standing with his knees together and his feet apart, covering his mouth with one hand.

Well, people don't know this, but Barry Piss is called Barry Piss because he's the only guy who's been able to hold his piss for his entire life. He started off doing no pee January and he just carried on. Just thinking of all those columnists who responded to the David Cameron news by saying, what if anything, this reflects well on the prime minister. And I think they would say the same about Starmer. Yeah, that was right. Yeah.

So Kyrstarma, they'd call him after that. They would because he was so bad. Another flawless victory. Yeah, that's right. Flawless, but confusing victory. No, so and you have your new book, essentially, is a state. And there are some that I've read some of the stories in it. And I think the one that was was my favorite was written as a script and is sort of a

discussion between some actors, a director, a woman called Zelda, who's sort of semi the subject of their film that they're making. And in and in the story, there is this. I think what I like about it is that it is it very radically it explores the radicalism and the sort of the radicalism that is forced on sort of trans people by not just by their existence, but by their existence here in history and in the present day. But I think it treats the subject also as sort of again, a source of joy, of sort of a source of connection and a story about really people sort of

using this to make art that's not necessarily sad, but then to tell like let's say something that's actually significant. And I do really recommend, I do really recommend this book. I really enjoyed that story. And it led me to sort of think about something you told me yesterday, which is that my overall sense is that regarding the quote, first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. I still think that although we've got we I still think that although we've still got a

hell of a fight on our hands right now. And I just wanted to know if before we go into making fun of a very stupid Quillette article, you could just talk a little bit about that idea and maybe about how some of it comes through in some of the writing. Yeah, I mean, just to give a little bit more of the context on variations, it's this collection of 11 short stories that tell this like history of trans and non-binary people in Britain through fiction. So it goes back to the early Victorian period, comes up to close to the present day,

like 2014, set in different British cities. So there's sort of stories in Belfast, Norwich, Blackpool, Manchester, Liverpool, as well as London and Cardiff and other places. And it uses a range of different sort of trans and non-binary characters. So transsexual men and women, non-binary people, gender, queer people, etc. And it uses a range of different forms. So the story you've picked out is called The Twist and it's set in the 1990s. It's engaging with the fact there are a lot of like trans related films made in the 90s,

but not by trans people. And it's obviously playing with like the crying games idea of the twist, which is the central characters like gender and how that was marketed. And really, the stories are partly responding to this idea. I've always loved that line that, you know, first they ignore you, then they laugh at you and then they fight you and then you win. And I grew up in the 90s and trans people were either being ignored or laughed at. And then we were laughed at an awful lot more in the early 2000s.

I've written a lot about how comedy used trans people as this just kind of like visual and creative like punching bag, basically. And then, you know, around about 10, 11 years ago, I was part of a wave of trans sort of journalist activists who all had the same idea at the same time. The media was doing us a lot of damage. It was being incredibly cruel to us in all sorts of ways, picking on us as individuals and as a group and tried to counter that. Got that over.

Well, exactly. I mean, you know, I kind of counted that and I thought, yeah, if I just calmly express a sort of trans subjectivity in a mainstream media space like The Guardian, then surely like reasonable liberals will look at that and think, actually, yeah, trans living, even if you're like relatively privileged, looks quite difficult. Maybe we should be a bit nicer to these people. And that's how it all turned out and it's fine. Nothing sort of deranged has happened.

Why have you even bothered writing this collection of short stories? So yeah, anyway, like all of the British sort of liberal press just had this like mass psychosis around 2014, which has only got worse, if anything. And, you know, I really feel we're very much in the fighting stage now. The last story in the book is called Tipping Point and it's set in 2014. And of course, it's that famous time magazine article with LaFern Coxe on the cover, where they argued that trans rights and visibility had sort of reached this tipping point, I think they called it, where it could no longer be kind of stopped or pushed

back. And then of course, what we've seen over the last seven or eight years, all over the world really, I mean, notably in the UK and the US under Trump, but also under Bolsonaro in Brazil, Hungary under Orban, Romania and Poland, is attempts to, if not to legislate against being trans, then to make it as financially, socially and medically as difficult as possible. But, you know, sort of younger trans people are still kind of coming through all the surveys indicate that public attitudes in Britain are relatively much more liberal on this subject than the newspapers would suggest. And writing this sort of book was a way of not having to engage directly with the avalanche of just anti-trans op-eds, because they're

repetitive and they're boring and they're designed, you know, this kind of culture war is designed to keep us having the same boring and pointless arguments over and over again, and to stop us like developing a history or a culture. So really writing this book is kind of an act of celebration and joy and just an act of saying, look, we do have alternatives to just like arguing with like Jermaine Greer or whoever it is. But why would you want to do anything else? Well, quite, yeah. We love arguing with Australians. I mean, it's something we've said on this podcast a lot, which is that our theory is in Britain, there are only about actually 300 really bug-eyed

TERFs, but they just all have newspaper columns. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly. They're like, it's like a hall of mirrors full of TERFs. So it seems like there are much more of them than there are. All the mirrors have bangs. Yeah, that's right. Very straight. But yeah. So I mean, that's one of the things I really enjoyed about it. It was sort of this sort of act of, when I say positive, I don't mean sort of attitudinally positive, but I mean like sort of rather than reacting to things. It was sort of, it was a proposition rather than a reaction, which I really enjoyed that. Absolutely. It sort of says we're here. We've always been here. You may not have noticed because we were, you know, repeatedly like legally and socially and

institutionally suppressed. And a lot of the stories are about those processes of suppression, whether that's by the law or by the media or would members of the public or or the mental institution, whatever. But one of the things about the story is like these trans people keep kind of existing and thriving. And I mean, the memoir I wrote, like published six years ago, was a much more obviously individualistic book. That's the nature of memoir. And this is much more about kind of trans communities or trans circles and how trans people, you know, there's a lot of stuff about how trans people interact with each other. Stars and podcasts, most likely. Well, exactly. Yeah, you know.

Kill James Bond on Patreon. Yeah. I thought we weren't allowed to make threats against named individuals. Because if we are, taking legal advice against the trash, you're poddashed. Just inviting James Bond into the suspended pool. Join me. Ah, Mr. Bond. Oh, come on, Mr. Bond. You enjoy swimming in the air as much as I do. Why deny it? But it did always occur to me, you know, that sort of trans people, for various reasons, hadn't, especially in this country, hadn't really developed that much sort of literature. There's

some sort of poetry and drama. But it's only really been emerging over the last few years. And I've been writing, writing this book since 2015. Who is the Tolstoy of the Transgenders? And we have her here. Well, I mean, it's a nice thought because like, actually, you know, I mean, I don't want to sound like one of these people who says like, oh, like, you know, cis het men have it the worst now and actually trans people have it much easier. But there's so little trans literature that you don't have to do as much.

It's a very emerging. It's a very current joke about being the first trans woman to X. Like you do something totally mundane and you will get like a rise up on it on being the first trans woman to like go to Big Tesco to see the roof of the Sainsbury's. The first trans woman to have her flat collapse under the weight of badges. Yeah. Alice is the first trans woman to be awarded the order of Lithuanian forestry. Yeah. Like one, one really aging Lithuanian trans woman. No, it was me. I will kill this Alice Goldwell Kelly.

Jalanus Meekus. But also you also mentioned, right? That all of the turfy op-eds are the same. Well, oh boy. Boy have I have so I mean, look, Quillette is good for one thing and one thing only. Yeah. Gris to the podcasting now. Yeah. Really interesting commentary.

I mean, I was so bad because look, this is one of these articles, right? Where it is so removed from like what the standard sort of talking points are that I think it now tells us more about its pseudonymous author. It's also long. Oh, we do not read the whole thing. It's also just like gone through a crisis for a long because like Quillette was sort of the website that was that like sites like Unheard kind of built them off from. So like when Quillette started, they at least they were trying to kind of present themselves as

sort of being like an intellectual-ish magazine for people on like the center, right? I mean, they obviously weren't and like hiring Andy Noe was like the best example of that. But basically as like that's basically in the name. And like as that space has become saturated, like Quillette has just like dealt with what is essentially a media problem, where if they want to survive, they have to kind of be more and more insane, which is how we get to this piece. So interestingly also, I'm going back into my memory palace and I think we read a Quillette article the last time you were here about the guy who really loves this job at Amazon.

Yeah, Kevin Mims. Yes, Kevin Mims. Mimsie. Yes. It's like a bite of the Madeline. It's all coming back. The guy that South Mims is named after. The rapper Mims.

We can keep going with him. South Mims. South Mims is a very good rest station. That's why I'm going to invest my time. That's right. So it's pretty good. Mostly thanks to Andrew Mims. This article is called The Links Between Trans Identity, Gifted Minds,

Categorical Thinking and Anime. Now we're fucking talking. So anyway, because this is a Quillette article, it's like a million words long. So I'm just taking a few bits and scraps from the beautiful mind of its writer. This headline just feels like something Alice would post. Yeah. You ever thought about how anime made you transgender and it gets like five likes? So before we start, I have heard this from like various media people who I will not name,

who like I think are sort of flirting with the taffy side as well. Whether they still are there or not, I'm not sure. Once you get to the far end, you get like Alex Ruvna where you're calling Nate a sissy hypno. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basic, basically that. But I remember like one, one like media person. You can even kill Spider-Man. You're such a sissy.

One media person DMed me once and they were like, look, I'm doing research on like trans people. I was like, okay, all right, okay, please continue. Question one, you consider not doing that? Yeah, I'm doing some research on trans people. Didn't want to talk to any. And I've noticed that lots of them use anime and I know that you're into anime. So can you like identifying the character?

So I was like, How have you resisted being trans? So I was like, okay, I'll just send it to me and like, I don't know. And they kept sending me like all the kind of, they weren't anime characters. They were sort of like fan art and it was all cat boys. All of them were cat boys. Well, look, has this guy just had loads of just like anonymous left-wing weirdos,

say you're a dick to him. They're all just using anime avatars and he's like, it's extrapolated from that. I do think that's it. And I think they just kind of like, and they mix up like pit crews and anime and like what fan art is. A lot of them like have discovered deviant art for the first time and they're like horrified. I think a lot of this is like an online phenomenon of people like

just discovering online spaces that have been around for ages and just being horrified by what they've seen and thinking that like this is kind of this new stage of like moral depravity. Just completely putting the cart for the horse. People have been like, drawing anime versions of themselves of cat ears, getting fucked by octopi like for a very long time. You know that people are getting surgery to become statues with glowing laser eyes. Which must be protected at all costs.

Like Lawrence Fox is going to be like getting a militia together to stop them getting taught. I'm joining it. The writer who writes under his pseudonym is identified only as an academic working in an unrelated field. It always fucking is, isn't it? At a business school. Doesn't show.

So in the first instance. Accounting professor. Because Quillette articles are all like 30,000 words long. Because who could be deprived of a single word of Quillette? This was part five of a series. He's written a novel. Uncensored, unedited, unspell checked. That also in the first, so in the first instance,

we're starting in media res because I don't want to do the whole like intro thing. And we're talking to his friend. Lee is a female detransitioner. That's not actually relevant to what they're talking about anime at this point. So as we talk. Okay. It becomes clear that the boundary between porn and non porn can be somewhat blurry when it comes to anime.

And when it comes to cooking. Cartoons featuring cat girls, girls with feline ears and tails can be quite explicit. That's called cat girls. Especially the ones created and posted by older men. But for young members of online trans communities, cat girl characters may be little more than a cute ironic profile pic. You just said the thing that you did.

Yeah. It might, it might be nothing, but I've got an article to fill. So like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm only 200 words in. So 200 words of a Quillette article. I've barely gotten to the first century. 29,800 to go, I guess.

Could I get, could I get from a totally nonsexual anime game to, to Yuri porn in two clicks? Probably Yuri porn. Well, I pull one of guys called Yuri. Gays, gay anime porn. Yuri gara porn. Gay anime porn is called Yowie. Sorry, everyone.

Let's be very specific. It's porn with Lurie Geller. I'm looking for a big paddle from the wall there. And it's called Gow. So this is the number one. It's called being Gow. To be fair, we haven't seen this in the pages of The Times where it's like, oh, those cat girls.

Give it two weeks. The Times is far too cucked right about cat girls. I'm waiting for when, what's her name? Any of them. Any of them. Just like start writing about like, love Hina. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. I'm excited for a women's toilet that underneath the like, the like woman in a dress the pictogram thing, it has like a big circle with a red line through it. And they're just like a pair of cat ears. And then let's face it.

Like today's 400,000 word Quillette article is tomorrow's like Times article where it kicks in just before the wankers fade. So even after speaking with Lee, it's still not immediately clear to me why anime has become such a big part of trans culture. So Carrie and Ron, who's 17 year old, identifies as a girl provided me with a detailed case study.

Their gender was arrived at in part through anime and in part through an interest in magic, the gathering. That's right. So your daughter's a nerd. Yeah, yeah. It's not a comedy. He's a nerd shit turning your children trans. Players use cards like two completely separate things.

Your daughter is transgender. Also, she's a giant fucking nerd. You are allowed to be embarrassed about one of those and you are picking the wrong one. That's right. Yeah. So this is very typical, I think of like, you might say like online logic Lord arguments,

where they'll just sort of take two things they don't understand. And then with a bunch of you appear to have to have supplemented my ad homonym language, we'll just stitch together a fantasmagoria of their own anxieties about all of them. So it's like, and so he says, he says, players use cards depicting fictional sword

and sorcery figures pitting them against one another, according to a complex system of rules. It's not that complicated. Something, something activated my trap card. Yeah. Beasts transmogrify in front of a player's eyes, leveling up into more impressive forms. The transformative theme in magic now extends to gender.

So like, yeah, tap two forests to give your elf plus one plus one. Yeah, you just fucking you slam this down and it forces your opponent to become trans. It's just like it's the underheaded inability to realize that like maybe these kids are like choosing female anime avatars because they're trans rather than the other way around. It's like the parent who like their kid moves to like Brighton

and then they blame Brighton for turning the kid gay. And it's like, no, that's not how this works. No one should move to Brighton ever. Yeah, that's how it should work. That's just your, that's just your opinion. Yeah, that's right. That's just my opinion. Yeah, that's what I think.

We're going to get, we're going to move, but mostly just because Brighton's an annoying city. I think the gay people deserve better than Brighton. That's all I'm saying. I think they deserve to live in a good town, you know? Where? Like Lewis, like where in Hertfordshire, for example. A great town.

Yeah, I think. Find me at the where maltings, Mr. Cioppo. I think Lewis would be nice. Yeah, Chipping Norton maybe. You know, in the cartels, that'll annoy Clarkson. Under communism, if you are gay, you can put into the government and they'll give you like a propiska to like move to Ely. I was driving my Ford GT40, the villages full of Twinks.

I think it would be, I think it would be fun. Chipping Norton now has the highest number of Twinks in the world. Yeah, but actually, I mean, yeah, Pride should be moved to Chipping Norton or Hamelhamstead. It'd be funny to have a really small Pride in Chipping Norton. There's like three guys who are like, yep. I mean, I stayed in a really nice hotel in a town called Broadway on the weekend. After coming from a party at a friend's like field. And then went to this nice hotel in Broadway.

A friend's field. Sounds just, yeah. A field in England. Another very relatable Riley story. That's right. Yeah. Different friends live in the countryside. There will be an associated field.

Did you say that in the earth there was a rich of dust concealed? The dust of friendship. But that's all beside the point. I'm saying let's move Pride to Broadway, which has a couple of really nice hotels. And it's a very charming, it's a very charming Cotswolds village. And like my little place to make it. See, Pride to the Niagara escarpments. That's right.

But mostly microclimate. Less annoying than Brighton as a place. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't want this. I think we know about gay sex. They can get a bit hot and sweaty. So you want a nice temperate climate.

Yeah. Like the Niagara escarpment. All right. All right. So the transformative theme in magic extends to gender. The game features characters who are non-binary and transgender. The fan culture sometimes features cross-play. I love that they're like, wow, that's so out there.

Given that it's magic, the gathering and all the things it features is like, like an orc with five heads or whatever. Back in my day, when we played card games, dragons stayed dragons. They didn't turn into cat girls. The thin end of the wedge was Pokemon Evolving. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. But when the social justice left go involved. Yeah. Pikachu evolves into a cat girl now. So they say, on Reddit, feeds where gamers congregate to swap tips and observations. I love just like the little collette parentheticals of describing something. It's actually like that the author doesn't know, but that like is pretty well known. Just like magic, the gathering, a sword and sorcery card game and so on and so on.

These are people who are just thrown into the world and experiencing it for the first time. Well, that isn't written for people who know things. No, it's not. Not at all. No. On Reddit, et cetera, et cetera. This kind of playful fluidity tends to get a lot of positive attention. Thereby, bumping up a contributor's algorithmically assigned visibility level

within Reddit threads. And so, over time, a sense of gender playfulness is hardwired into young gender playfulness. And we can't fucking have that. Good Lord. No, it's serious. It's called being yourself and having fun with it. Yeah. Because you have children doing it.

So, this is, again, I think, Juliet, as you pointed out earlier, this is quite literally him being like, hmm, they're playing magic, the gathering, and then becoming trans. What is it about magic, the gathering that's making them trans? Yeah. What about the cat girls? I want to know more about his cat girls. No, he used the cat girls there, I think.

Yeah. It says, though, he like read post hoc ergo proctor hawk and was just like, oh, yep. Well, that settles it. Post hoc ergo proctor hawk. The only thing I can think about magic, the gathering that might turn people trans is that at a magic, if a magic, the gathering tournament, there is some kind of like ratio requirement. All right. Some of you guys have got to trans up on the rate.

This magic, the gathering convention is a real sausage fest. Can we fucking... To you, you got a nice cheekbone. How do you feel about estradiol? And quickly... Yeah. I'd take five right now. And then they all kicked in by round two.

So, just huge naturals just popping out halfway through. He also says, and while the link between giftedness and transgenderism is easy to observe, it's difficult to explain. That's weirdly like exoticizing to be like, oh, trans people, they're so fucking smart. Why are they also smart and hot? Excuse me, sir, I'm dumb as hell. What are you talking about? In schools with a progressive...

Now, this, this is some serious... Schools with a progressive ethos, like Dullidge College, Southeast London. I grew up on the section 28, bitch. Explain that. In schools... Because section 28 wasn't repressive enough. Yeah. Well, quite, yeah.

So, they would turn it up to 29. So, in schools with a progressive curriculum, children are taught that biological sex is distinct from gender identity. Most people's learn this as nothing more than a fact about other people. No, they don't. And certainly... Not even remotely true. Like, if it were true, it would be cool, but it's not true.

Certainly for the jock-ish boys and girls in the cheerleading squad. The jock-ish boys, you see. The purported gender sex distinction isn't of any particular interest. What about the trans ones? No, only gifted nerds who like anime. And again, it's also like, it's kind of like almost, almost realizing what the point is when they're like, they're scarring.

Our kids would tell them about trans people and say, yeah, most kids are just going to not really notice. They're not going to really like care. It'll just kind of be there in the background, and then when they encounter it as an adult, they'll be like, oh, that's something I'm familiar with. That's fine. He goes on.

By contrast, many of the smart kids, gamers and hobbyists, who spend time in their own mind. Hobbyists. I'm something of a gender hobbyist. I'm a hobbyist myself. I've got a shed where I do the occasional surgery. These are the first pair of boobs I made, like crudely made wooden boobs.

By contrast, many of the smart kids, gamers and hobbyists. He is basically doing like the alt-right thing of... Hello, fellow kids. Of like, you know, I want to know the alt-right thing of basically like, yeah, there are the chads and then, you know, the beta males become women so they can get it to... So I get bizarre crenellations of their own construction. I thought that once you, like, defied your assigned category,

that made you a sigma male and that was a good thing. The jocks at school said, I would never get pussy. Well, this clinic says otherwise. It's doing an extended, like, revenge of the nerds bit, but you're becoming trans so you can, like, grope your own boobs. Well, Alice, this is kind of sort of where... Alice, I can see you doing that right now. So these, you know, the indoor kids, basically,

have more time to spend on the abstract mental game of what if. And as puberty takes hold... Instead of the real game of football. Stop playing what if and stop transing your gender and pick up a damn football. We actually play Eaton what if here. It has a flying buttress in the court. So as puberty takes hold, their social deficit transforms into a romantic and sexual deficit

and the hypothetical trans version of themselves becomes worthy of examination. Maybe if I'd be happier as a woman, I'd be more at ease with myself. Now, add in the effect of coming out as trans to what we'll have in the other students, including the aforementioned cheerleading types. For the nerdy boy who announces that he's a girl, a trip to a pretty girl's home won't yield a romantic fumble, but perhaps affectionately communicated tips on applying lip gloss. This guy's never heard of, like, trans lesbians.

You know, the great thing about coming out as trans when you're at school is cheerleaders never mean to you about it. Everyone loves you if you come out as trans at school. Every school you come out as trans, everyone's like, yeah, great, well done. No one's ever been bullied for that. I think what happened is these guys all started getting bullied for being transphobic and are now like, well, I assume the situation has flipped. Yeah, like the chads are all trans now.

The football team and the cheerleading squad, they're just swapping back and forth. No one knows who's what anymore. Loser, you still got your original gender. I've had five now. It's getting absolutely annihilated by an offensive line entirely of trans boys. It's just like, yeah, cool. Yeah, he threw a damn spiral to the cheerleading squad. What the heck?

This is just like the slag of the ideology mill. The poorly formed toys that just tumble out under the pages of Colette, where again, it tells us, I think, just more about this person's own just sort of strange fantasies and hang ups. There were two things I picked out of this article. Like one is like at one point, he describes the sort of like anime trans nerds as Hikiko Mori and explains what that term means. And it just brought to mind like this sort of weird McCarthyite guy on Twitter

called Christian Nemitz, who tried to make a big thing out. Oh, we're familiar. Big thing out of Hikiko. Shout out to Christian Nemitz, who I'm sure is listening. Sound of the show, Christian Nemitz. Well, I think I called him Christian Nomates the other day. Hey, yo. Hey, yo.

God is that. You are our friend, Christian. You're school yard bullying. But I think he was going on about like Hikiko Marxist a while ago and got like round the ratio for just being a fucking nerd. What's new there? What exactly? Yeah, I remember like when they were all doing the whole like Hikiko Marxist thing.

And it was all the kind of like IEA, Adam Smith Institute people who. Oh, God, that's such chats is the thing about the Adam Smith Institute. You're a football team, guys. Yeah. I'm sick of these gigantic like thatcherite economics guys just running over me. They have like shreds. They have these very like extremely online tendencies, but they don't ever like commit to their bits because they're too like,

they get angry like way too quick. Yeah. Why I always love about these kind of like online spats is there absolutely are huge bedroom losers on the left, but the only ones ever pointing out are the huge bedroom losers on the right. And it's just like you guys should actually all hang out. And we just get rid of all of you. And the writer of this article, also a huge bedroom loser.

Yeah. Like my favorite, my favorite bit in this like is where he starts going on about a German term like fac idiots. Oh, yeah. And I was like, no, that was just people calling you a fasc idiot. Like, yeah, it's because that's like this is in this valley. It's left for shitty. But that's the thing.

The anime avatar, the right wing, the sort of standard Colette, logic Lord guy, it does think of themselves as a as a socially deficient, gifted, introverted, very intelligent person. Yeah. It's like the two paths diverging in the woods. You can either do a school shooting or become trans. Yeah. Or write for Colette.

Those are the three things you should do. Western man or woman. That's right. But look, I want to leave. I don't like to read from Colette too often because it is it gives you Havana syndrome. A Quillette guy outside your house has just shot a beam in at you. When I get shot with the trans gun by the Russians, I want to move on to one one last thing.

We're going to be a little long today because it is a proud TF tradition that now free one listeners will get to access the free one, which is whatever Julia comes on. We like to read a completely strange, fanciful and fatuous article from the mid 2000s, which is interesting. The time I was working in an office, it would have been like reading this crap the first time around.

It ran across this article on Twitter recently. I've been thinking about it a lot. It's from the BBC 2006. Okay. A fun indie magazine from the mid 2000s. It's always an interesting energy. I like that. The title is human species may split into subtitle,

different human subspecies. First, a horizontally. Predicted by down the center, predicted by Dr. Oliver Curry. We're going to do fucking Oryx and Craig shit. Yeah. Basically, this is I think like what I like about this article is the specifics that the fanciful specifics

that the author goes into. I've read it as well, and it's got a hell of a punchline, but we'll come back to that. So humanity may split into two subspecies in 100,000 years time. Well, this was written before the climate report came out. Humanity may split into no species in 10 years time. Humanity may split into two subspecies in 100,000 years time,

more or less. The lizard people and the dead. More or less as predicted by HG world. Oh, yeah. So we're doing more locs in Eloi, folks. When is Leatherhead going to get like blown up by aliens? Yeah, that's right. Can you do Brighton as well?

Me holding up a big site. Alien dude destroy Brighton. Yeah, that's right. Evacuate the gays first and only the gays. They must be rehoused. But no more for hate crime purposes. This is anti-brighton specifically. That's right.

Fuck that pavilion. Only a anti-its-cis-het resident. Boo Brighton pavilion. That's right, yeah. I hate George IV. What a sign. Yeah, it's really long. It's got like a number of like flaps on it that come down.

Sounds like something they would have had at the Woofer Redstone. But no, you're outside, you're out front of the alien spacecraft with a bunch of like pieces of card stock, like in love, actually. You're just dropping them. Please destroy Brighton. Not in a homophobic way. That's Christmas Carol's playing.

So I want the alien guy to kiss me. Please kiss me aliens. Evolutionary theories. I want the alien to kiss me, but he's married to my best friend. Evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics. Big surprise. Expects a genetic upper class London School of Home Economics. Dimwit underclassed.

He didn't even predict the dimwitted upper class of like 10 years later. No. Yeah. So we're just doing for anology again, right? Oh, yeah. From backwards. Instead of like the upper class, our upper class because of their better genes or whatever, we're just going to have like the upper class will become better

because their genes will become better. Yeah, we're going to constant. It's yeah, it's like Louise Linton and Steve Mnuchin are going to be like the progenitors of an entire human subspecies. Mm-hmm. Cool. Check out as far as I can tell. Yeah, of beautiful women and frog men.

All these podcasters are going to have like really smart kids. Yeah. So the human race will peak in the year 3000, he said, before decline due to dependence on technology. People will become choosier about their sexual partners causing you to divide. That's not been my experience. Into subspecies. If anything, my late twenties has been coming to terms with a number of things about my sexual

partners. The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent and creative in a far cry from the underclass humans who would evolve into dim-witted, ugly school goblins. So we're already seeing the divide in the members of this podcast already. Oh, so I love this. It's just also like someone who's just said, yeah, well, the standards of today sure are going to be applying in 3000 years.

That's right. Yeah, even a thousand years from now. Well, they're always saying nothing is of its time as much as a vision of the future and, you know, you know. This is like, this is, this is also just like very pickup artists, right? Like this kind of like. What's up, go? You got an Eloi jawline.

Like, yeah, like, like they're kind of the, you know, the whole pickup artist thing, which is sort of still kind of permeated and resonated today about how, like, choosier forms of like sexual selection facilitated by technologies and like, you know, quote marks will lead to kind of like subsets of, you know, different kinds of human, which I guess in this case would just be like chads and like virgins, right? Yeah. So what are they saying that there's, we are going to split into a Chad virgin subspecies?

Yeah. I mean, hey, you're pretty, you're pretty hot for a dim-witted underclass member. You want to come up to the big leagues? Yeah. Would you want to see a magic trick? You probably think it's real magic, but chads and virgins are going to be genders, right? And then within those, you'll have like subsets.

I mean, this is what, why have academia at this point? It was just to be like, yeah, I'm pretty, I'm pretty sure in the future, all the hot people are going to make a new species of hot people. That's right. He says, all the people from Playboy magazine. That's what the plot of the matrix was. He says, in the future, humans will evolve into giants up to seven feet tall. This is just a guy having fun.

Humans already up to seven feet tall. There are many humans who are that tall. Between six and seven feet tall. It's just like Peter Crouch. Like human, Charlie Palmer. Yeah. Humankind has gone that much taller in like the last hundred years pretty much. And he just been like watching Peter Crouch at the World Cup or something.

Everyone's going to be either Peter Crouch or like man career, Paul Gasco in like men will exhibit symmetrical facial features, look athletic and have square jaws, deep voices and big penis. This is just it's called being a podcast. This is just for look maxing Chad's shirt. Yeah. They're still saying that this is this is the BBC. Maybe this is kind of what's created this weird incel kind of culture.

The failed promises of this man that everyone would be a Chad was just not fully realized. And they're really pissed about it because now, like I can imagine a lot of them were just like waiting for this moment when they would just naturally develop Chad faces. And it just never happened. They still have their wonky, asymmetrical, like nose shapes. They're all doing Virgin walks. Yeah.

We're all doing Virgin walks and none of the girls that like they want to date want anything to do. I think we're also doing Virgin walks too, because it's a new species. It's essentially this is the ascent of man, you know, that thing. But then the Virgin is just sitting there with the script being, I'm not reading this. I love I love to do something like a kind of sponsored Virgin walk for charity. Sponsored by Virgin, the Virgin walk. Yeah. We're all just going to put our hands in our pockets and shuffle along.

Sponsored by the nation of Chad. Yeah. Richard Branson presiding over a bunch of incels. The Chadian Virgin walk team. Very confusing. Yeah. On the other hand, Chad has Virgin's team. We'll develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large, clear eyes, perp,

breast, glossy hairs, and even features. There's no, they're going to become anime. That's right. Going to evolve cat ears, not really sure why they did this. It's called being trans. Yeah, that's right. Women will also evolve small penises as well. Yeah.

It's when you become an absolute dime piece. That's what it is. Yeah. So it's very, very funny. It's like, yeah, basically everyone's going to be a hot drawing in about a thousand years time. And it never happened. And that's why we have incels. The sort that played magic the gathering once.

However, Dr. Curry warns that in 10,000 years time, humans will have paid genetic price for relying on technology. So basically where we once were a race of Chad, Eloy, and Morlock versions, and anime cat curls and stuff. You're just a cat boy, Eloy. I'm afraid we're going to be spoiled by gadgets designed to meet their every need. Is that anything? Yeah, sure is.

Spoiled by gadgets designed to meet their every need. Humans would come to resemble domesticated animals with receding chins. Okay. Much like the current day upper class. We're coming out of the bad animals in battlefield. So social skills such as communicating and interacting with others would be lost. Humans will come to resemble Prince Charles. Well, yeah, wait, what's his explanation for why the upper class looks so fucked up now?

It's all like this. So in breeding enough. Using these cat boys. Social skills. So I was on the reddit the other day. Boys with the cat is sexually confusing. I spoke to my brother about it. He said that it's called being trans.

What if you had anything to comment about that? I don't know. It was a charter house. We suddenly would shave our bodies, grease ourselves, that sort of thing. But it was not in the same manner as this, you know. Do they use forks in the same manner? I just have questions. I never thought I'd say this.

Could we hear more about Prince Charles and architecture, please? Royal guy who's like hornily curious about trans people is like a good bit. Social skills. So just communicating and interacting with others. Especially what called Prince Philip. So he's a trans person for the first time in his life, moments before he died. I sent them an advanced copy of my book. That picture of him in the back of the car, looking like he'd just seen the devil,

was like he'd just seen an absolute trans dime piece out of the window. Been dead for at least ten years. Yeah. So it was the erection that killed him. It drained the wool of the remaining blood out of his body. It made a little ding as it struck his suit of armor. Social skills. So just communicating and interacting with others would be lost,

along with other emotions such as love, trust and respect. It's called being online. As people become less able to care for others or perform a team. The posts will be incredible. That's just called being my ex-girlfriend. Physically, they would start to appear more juvenile. Chins would recede as a result of having to chew less unprocessed food. The death of the half-smoked chin.

That's actually a real thing. I was reading about this the other day. Apparently companies that make fast food go to increasing efforts to make it really easy to chew because people don't want to chew anymore. They're like people are going to go to the other fast food company if it's too hard to chew. So we've got to make this stuff like just swallow a bowl. That's more like a duck. There could also be health problems caused by reliance on medicine,

as opposed to health problems caused by not having any medicine. Do not become addicted to medicine. Resulting in weak immune systems. Preventing deaths would also help preserve the genetic defects that cause cancer. Thank you, Dr. Curry. And then he says, okay, then we're going to go into more welcoming. But like dumber. Yeah, this is a stupid guy doing eugenics.

Their punchline is coming. Well, science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium. There's a possibility of a monumental genetic hangover over the subsequent millennia. Due to an over reliance on technology, reducing our natural capacity to resist disease, our evolved ability to get along with each other, said Dr. Curry. Juliet, would you like to say what the next line is?

Because I think you know what it is. I don't know it off the top of my head. So for my money, this is a last line or a sort of closing paragraph to rival the great the problem we choose. It turns out is that they're not shape like feet. So we've heard all of this about his research and his reporting and everything. So I would like to present you with the last line of this article from the BBC from 2006. He carried out the report for men satellite TV channel Bravo.

Oh, yes. I love that that was produced by the same people who produced Valerie Irons protection with Pamela Anderson. That's awesome. You just had that ready to go. Man, when I was like eight years old, I loved Valerie Irons protection with Pamela Anderson. On bright, yeah. Are you saying that's too young to like Pamela Anderson?

Well, your parents were letting you watch a girl with honkers that big at eight years old. Oh boy, I wish I was grew up in your house. I was just too busy playing magic together. This show was on between two different episodes of suburbia uncovered. I was a different kind of nerd to the other people on the podcast. We've discussed this before. I was a more like normie nerd. I was into like normie video games and like normie nerd TV shit,

like stuff that's like horny enough that you can get away with. That's why you're the like subject master expert for britannology. Exactly, yeah. And that's why I love milfs. So I know we've been going long, but how could we resist with such a wonderful yes for the first time on the free one? Stop misgendering me. No, stop dead naming me.

And I want to say, Julia, thank you very much for coming on. Thanks. Thanks for having me. And you can catch me and Juliet next week on Bravo, where we'll be hosting Bin Men on Shrews. Oh, I remember when Bin Men was on Shrews. Yeah. Remember when Bin Men could see God?

If you can throw a bin into the back of a truck while hallucinating that you are God. This is as if all the bins was connected. There'd not be any trans bin men. Or bin people as we have to go with them now. People bin. People bin, yeah. So have you been hanging out with Quentin Letts? Yes.

Don't forget to order from the postman or postperson, as Quentin Letts said, they now have to be called. Call me Laurie Osama, because it's bin laden. How do you fucking know? That is a proper fucking joke. Oh, my little brother, when did you get here? This is completely true. Incredibly shortly after 9-11, my dad began referring to bin liners as Osamas.

And didn't and did not stop doing this for about 20 years. That's what people never realized that your dad and brother are the guys from your TikTok videos. Basically, my brother's way more geyser-ish than my dad was. So my dad is like a refined version. But I want to say before we leave to purchase pre-order variations. Yeah. Pre-order, pre-order a couple, you know. If you're going to read, what if you pre-order one copy per short story

and then you read each copy with its own specific short story? You could say you read quite a few books. You should stack them up. You should buy enough that you can stack them up facing out in your windows, so everyone knows what you're reading. It's a great way to hack your Goodreads targets. If you live in a house that was supposed to be built by Katerra, but then they went out of business because their business sucked,

then consider buying enough copies of variations to build your house. Yeah, but build enough to like block out the view of the people sunbathing in a suspended pool. I was going to say, it's a perfect book to read in a very unnecessary sky pool. Yeah, actually, I was going to say this earlier, but Julia has a very interesting examination of being trans in the 90s in Britain. I did maybe think of a very stupid bit where like woke bars would be like, well, because it used to be, you could only light blur or oasis,

but now there's people who like and light both, actually, and it's fine. That's right. So with all that being said, don't forget to buy the book. Subscribe to our Patreon as well. Five bucks a month gets you a second episode every week. That's right. This week. Also, it's on Bravo.

Also, it's on Bravo. It's like the it's like the man show, except Hussein's jumping on the trampolines. You're listening to Britain's Nazi startups with me, Riley Quinn. I would love to do that. You kidding? This guy's balance sheet is lunacy top to bottom. He's off his fucking rocker.

He spent five years in Parkhurst for embezzlement. Yeah. He could do like a he could do like a Gordon Ramsay show. But it's like going to like bad restaurants, going to bad stuff. Bad food restaurants. So wait, sorry. All of his capital. That's right.

It's short term commercial paper. Hussein, are you suggesting that I just become some kind of like business consultant? Like, you know, doing Gordon Ramsay's doing like guys bar rescue or whatever, you know, for businesses. Yeah. Yeah. There's no there's no way that Riley would ever do that. All right.

We will see you all on the premium on Bravo. Bye. Bye.