TRASHFUTURE - Manic Pixie Dream Paramedic

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

In this special episode, we revisit an old startup from 2019 that’s still getting huge government contracts to provide a service we can only describe as ‘the ambulance driven by clowns that drops you off in the middle of the woods.’ This is not an exaggeration. If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November(@AliceAvizandum)

So, unless I lovingly tuck your hair behind your ear in the next five minutes, the Russians are gonna let off an atomic bomb over west London. So, Soap, we have to infiltrate a B&B in the Lake District. Soap, this next mission requires us all in hands. Soap, we're going deep cover. We're going to mum and me at a musical. I've booked us in at ZZ's for a pre-fee and me a little help us blend in. Hi everybody, it's GF. That's right.

It's a free one. It's all free one. It's all of us now. Although, although, I have to, I have to share some sad news. Which is that Alice is no longer with us. That's true. I feel like every time we talk about the startup Ambulance, we get a different host. I'm finally doing a thing I've been trailing on Twitter for the longest time of changing

my name to November like the month like the NATO financial because you respect the troops exactly because you know I want to go on a romantic getaway with captain price and I thought the best way to do that would be to change my name to something military sounding Yeah, no, so this is a hundred percent serious all of it including the captain price bit Yeah, yeah, call it call a Duty Modern Warfare 4 got very interesting. Yeah, Call of Duty Modern Warfare is an automate. It is a dating simulator and that's the correct way of playing it.

But yeah, I am fully joined. We're the only two men who understand each other, Soap. After all these years, we've been through the same things. It gets easier, Soap. You just have to do a lot of really romantic stuff and SAS selection, you know, especially about wine pairings. Oh, sorry, please carry on. No, no, no, that was that was it. That was my whole bit as I am

changing my name from Alice to November. Please and thank you. It's yeah. So you're out one host, be your up one new one. But also joining us from beyond the grave, it's Hussein. Technically not beyond the grave, very much inside the grave. One foot in the grave, your victimel dream. The backstory of this being that I did have to go to a funeral earlier this week. And as I was walking back from burying one of my relatives, a very sad moment, I was on my phone as you'd expect. from burying one of my relatives, a very sad moment.

I was on my phone as you'd expect. And in a cemetery, there are several, like the way in which they make the burials more efficient is to sort of like half dig it so that when the bodies come in, like you don't have to like dig new ones. And so long story short, I tripped and fell into a shallow grave. And when that happened, and I was very much in full view of everyone, some of whom were just sort of shaking their heads at me. There was no box in that. It was just like a pre-dubged grave, which like, I think has its own sort of like, you

know, it has its own spooky connotation. Yeah, I think about it. The person they buried in that grave wasn't even the first person in that grave. Like, I can't imagine that. It's like hot desking. I hadn't even thought about that. But like, you like broke it in for them. It's like pre-warbed.

They're great. That's not like that. They'll like, when, when they're sort of buried and like, you know, the spirit will be like, broke it in for them. It's like pre war. That's not like that. They'll like when, when they're sort of buried and like, you know, the spirit will be like, yo, what the, this, this, this, this, this be smelling funky. Yeah. It smells of vape in here. I just want a really clean drop of you saying this. But this, this when, when this did happen, I did immediately tell you

because I thought it'd be very funny and I did not expect to have to retell that story on the show So I do appreciate I do appreciate it. It is low light real Look, this is a sacred pack that we're in anytime any one of us humiliates ourselves one way or the other It's going in the shop. Yeah, I mean, I'm taking all your secrets. I know about you to my shallow graves. So Yeah, now you're out of it now You've got a little like achievement for one of the graves so yeah now you're out of it now you've got a little like achievement for one of the relatively few people who have climbed out of a grave. What I will say is falling into a grave and like sort of having to lie there for a few

seconds it does really change your perspective on the world. Why did you have to lie there for a few seconds? Were you doing the like Yamcha like death pose? Well my thinking was more like oh this is probably never gonna happen again until I am actually dead, by which point I probably won't be able to hide it. So, so, um... I just well appreciate it. You don't want to be in a kill bill situation. Why not enjoy it for a few more seconds? Anyway, anyway, um, we're going to talk about the, um, some items in the news today.

And then we are going to, in honor of our new co-host, revisit Ambulance, the first thing that you talked about when you first came on as a guest many years ago. Yeah, and I made myself indispensable. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. First news item, graves. Are people stealing them? No, it turned out to be my grandmother.

There was someone in it. There's just a podcaster, you know? Goldilocks in the three graves. I mean, I'm now just imagining like a land lord. A cross of lords. You know, a grave lord. This plot for your squatting in is actually 2,600 a month. You dig you up if you don't pay the rent.

If you were just laid there, if you just stayed there, you would have had like, you you were just laid there, if you just stayed there, you would have had like, you've got to started on adverse possession. You know, you would have had the squatters rights. There are stories about happening is very quickly because I can't remember where it was. But like, there was sort of like a cemetery that was owned privately and the guy who owned it wanted to sell the land. And I don't know what happened to it. But the idea was if he was going to sell the land to developers, like they would have to dig up the graves and sort of put them

somewhere else. Yeah. It's a lovely single aspect space. It's about six feet by two feet by six feet. Yeah, you could put a kitchen in that. They're using it as a grave, but like you could do a home office. Yeah, it's a breakfast. You know?

Yeah, that's right. All right, all right, all right. Storage. Let's, weirdly, I was going to say, let's leave the Alright, alright, alright. Storage. Let's, let's weirdly, I was gonna say, let's leave the graveyard behind for a jarring change in tone. We must, I think, discuss, I think, before we move on, the ongoing, I would say, the grim conclusion to the media circus that has surrounded the murder of Rihanna Jai. And I think we can start with the fact that in Parliament, while Starmer was doing his usual thing. Okay, I'm curious.

Yeah, yeah, Breonna Jai's mother, Esther, was in the sort of galleries, right? And Sunak comes up to the dispatch box and he says, well, I'm ready to use the line. I'm ready to use the line. Yeah, he's doing it, but it's, BBC News has since described this as a jive. I've seen elsewhere described as a joke.

So Soonak comes up with his Tommy Cooper fez on to the dispatch box and says, have you heard the one about knowing what a woman is, just like that? Boom, boom. Yeah. The weird thing was he died at the dispatch box and no one knows for 45 minutes. Yeah. So he does the one... He does the thing because he has been conditioned like a dog

to be like, I know how to make all of these, you know, like hooting morons clap for me. Yeah, he doesn't even know what a woman is, which is not a trans woman, apparently. Oh, Starmer is saying, you know, he's saying he knows what's going to happen, but he doesn't even know what a woman is, which is the line that they use over and over and over and over again, and it's always reported as trouble for labor as it's unable to define what it is. Of course, labor is able to define what a woman is. They use a very transphobic definition more or less. No transphobic enough, John. So this kind of seemed to surprise shock even Starmer and he he since did the like, you

know, how dare you at a time like this, any other week of the year would be totally acceptable. And I would, you know, completely fold to what you're saying. But, you know, as we know, in our sort of like liberal understanding, the most important person in relation to trans rights is parent of one. And so what you've done is you have transgressed here by being rude and cruel. Well, because it's still parent of dead child, regardless of transness, which as we know marks it down a few points in their eyes, but still dead child parent, that's pretty sympathetic. So yeah, absolutely. And so now soon I guess it sort of like doubling, tripling down on this. And I just, the thing is,

It was a bit of banter. Yeah, it was, it was, I was doing irony. I guess the thing is that it occurs to me that this is grotesquely, grotesquely cynical on Stammer's part, like, given the, you know, the transphobia is still abundant in the Labour Party, given the fact that fucking, like, had Brianna Jai not died on the spot, had she gone to hospital, his shadow health secretary wouldn't have let her in a women's ward. There's like, it's absolutely grotesque to make the Labour Party the kind of like lesser of two evils here, which is barely, especially given that he met with her mother after the fact and said, we need more mental health support for kids,

fucking human gelatin mold that he is. It just, it occurs to me, right, that this really did rattle him. Because what you might dimly describe as his values are those of kind of like, you know, metropolitan middle class prosecutor of, it's nice to be nice. This is both cruel and weird. I'm sure that he personally knows likes, respects, trans people. It just doesn't matter to him when it's sort of convenient to gain power. And so this sort of moment where he was like, wait a second, this is really gross. I have this feeling that like, this is not going to change anything in that sense. But the sort of the best prospect for making Britain

less transphobic within the electoral process within the political process is ultimately going to have to rely on that kind of like repulsion of that revulsion of liberals being like, this is gross and weird. And it's important to just be nice to people who you think are weird anyway, you know? And if they can kind of like repeat that, which was very successful in terms of like marriage equality and lots of gay rights stuff, if they can repeat that thing of like, it's important to be tolerant to people, even though we know they're weird, you still have to be nice, then it will still be terrible, but it will be a bit less terrible. And I think if this moment can be used for those purposes, then

all's the good, but I'm not holding my breath. Yeah, because we've said this before that so much of the really rabid transphobia stuff is just so weird. Yeah, truly. But it's hard to sell to the electorate because it's just like, well, if you saw a trans person in the supermarket, would you behave like this? Or would you simply go about your day? I reckon probably just go about your day for most people. You don't have to understand it. You just have to ignore it. That's all you have to do. You don't have to get involved

in any way. Just ignore it and go about your day. Mason Keeley Sinec doing this reminds me a bit of the DeSantis Black Sun campaign ad, you know, where it's like you have hitched your wagon to a bunch of extremely online freaks who think this is the baseline cultural thing of how we're going to like divide society. And then people look at it and go, this makes you look like an obvious Nazi. Why are you doing this? Stop doing this. And he would say, hmm, hungry. Well, so this is actually what I think we can link this as well in these terms anyway,

into like the ongoing story of the British Conservative Party sort of descending into online strangeness. Oh yeah. We've got some Liz Truss later about that. Exactly. Liz Truss is back and not realizing, right, that her career in British politics is over. She now has to be an American lecturer, which will be way more lucrative

and she'll have more fun with it. So of course, convener at the University of Austin. Yeah, we support this. Yeah, but talking about- Go get the bag, Liz. Launching her movement, Popular Conservatism, which is finally trying real conservatism, but she didn't get a chance to when she was in office,

I guess. University of Austin bankrupted by the bathrobe bill. Yeah, he had real conservatism and has never been tried. She can get through and we had no idea. I got boys bringing chocolates from up to our office. So this is Liz Truss saying, almost proudly, you know, too many of our colleagues are looking at what jobs they get when they leave parliament. They want to be popular at London dinner parties.

I never get invited to those parties. Well, because it clashes with Fobod, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, lambasting wokeism net zero immigration, saying that governments are being stymied when trying to respond to them a conservative way, saying, I believe, a fundamental issue is that for years and years and years. The sequel to years and years. Conservatives have not taken on the left wing extremists. This is, she's the honorable minister for going on the computer. so is Rishi Sunak and so are the rest

of them. You know this Liz Trust thing is like specifically, it's like when a band who were one hit wonders put out a greatest hits thing years later. And you have to have all of the remixes and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like Liz Trust is like one hit, I am going to crash the economy. That's like track one side one. And then the rest of it is wokery, you know, environmentalism, socialism. She's the Venger boys. Yeah. I was going to say, so I listened to the Jeremy Vine show today as I often do. And there was like one of the topics that he had on it was sort of just people just debating like what they made of like Sunak making this comment in the comments.

And it was amazing watching like media people and even members of the general public, most of whom were being pretty disapproving of it all being in a kind of fairly milk toast way. Just struggling to find an explanation of why he would say something like this isn't just like Rishi Sunak's stupid cunt. Who doesn't like, who didn't think about any of this? Because even strategically, it's just a stupid thing to say because what's going to happen is this. Like, it just makes you look like a stupid cunt.

But it was so like British media where it's like, well of course we can't consider the proposition that he's a stupid cunt. We've got to come up with some like master plan, bit Machiavellian or otherwise why he's doing this. It's like, no, he's a stupid cunt. And that's why he said it open and shut. I may be going to hand it to Starmer that maybe this is part of the Starmer master plan because if you're playing poker against someone who like folds every hand 500 consecutive

hands, then maybe one time when you like trip over your own dick because you expect him to fold and be like, Mr Speaker, I actually don't know what a woman is and I'm gay. Then like the one time that doesn't work out for you. Until then it's been a winning strategy. Star Majutsu. We're all in the Starmia army. Yeah. If you just get like to like 99% transphobia levels and just stay there, then eventually your opponent will hit the 100% marker and will flip over again. Yeah. When your enemy is making a mistake, be sure to say, excuse me. Well, I don't think that's what I did for that.

But I think this goes back round where it's easy to say, right, that the only norms these people respect are politeness. There's no sort of thoroughgoing idea of like actual, you know, liberation for these groups of people that they actually care about. But I think it goes back to this broader theme, which is that the more specifically that the right, with its, I'd say, political space, now thoroughly occupied by labor,

the more that this is forced them into, into a very strange place. And they are going to be strange for quite a while. And they're probably going to be quite off-putting for a while. But eventually, right, they even after these, all of these issues, like just as like, I think, I think the in the 90s and 2000s, I think as you sort of compared this, alluded to earlier, right, Nova, this is a little bit like with equal marriage. They just got too weird with opposing it.

When the conservative rights starts talking about like- There's nothing wrong with it, so. Getting too lurid in their details of what a person marrying a dog would be like, you get like, okay, you're off putting now, this is weird. I'm gonna go away from it politically. Yeah, you sort of, okay, you're off putting now, this is weird. I'm gonna go away from politically. Yeah, you sort of hope in liberalism's ability to kind of like fence off an acceptable discourse

and get to the point where like, what is a woman or like is a trans woman a woman becoming the sort of question, you know, analogous to is gay sex sinful? Right. Because a question that a journalist only ever asks when they know that the person they're interviewing has a weird wrong answer to it. You know? Yeah. I mean, to be fair, they really read the room wrong when they tried to appall the British electorate with the idea of a man marrying his dog. Like, would you kiss and fuck your dog? And yes, mostly is what most of them would say. Yeah, the British electorate, which is like, you know, solid plurality white women is like. Yeah.

Would you tongue kiss your dog? Yes! I dogged you last week, yeah! Well, Gloucestershire has gone very hard for not one of the usual parties. Lord Buckethead on his dog kissing platform. It's what you need to stand on to kiss Clifford, the big red dog. But before we move on, I want to talk about one other thing regarding this sort of whole story, which is the role, which is the mother, Esther Jai.

She then goes on Laura Kuhnsberg and engages in what appears to be the only form of sort of bottom-up political advocacy that is allowed anymore. Yeah, the Greeting Parent Campaign. Yeah, the parent of a murdered child requests a crackdown. Yes, because what she wants is to ban kids from going on social media on their phones, which is, I think we can agree, probably a pretty bad idea for all sorts of reasons. Mason, more to the point, just simply unworkable. That won't work. No point suggesting it can't

be done. Yeah. But she's not the only one to be doing this. So, Shanae Doh Mali, who is the mother of this young woman, the student who got murdered by like a guy on a rampage in Nottingham. She's been campaigning for like mandatory prison terms for people found carrying knives. Also a terrible idea. And it strikes me that this is, as you say rightly, this is a sort of acceptable space, one of the few left to do policy proposals is if your child has been murdered and you're grieving, then a journalist will sort of like stick a microphone in your face and be like, well,

what policy do you want to be different because of this? You've won one change to society. Yeah, exactly. What kind of hanging would you like to bring back? Exactly. That change can only be more oppressive. You know, we would ideally like it to have as little to do with how your child died as possible, get after it. And I just feel so exploitative.

And the thing that strikes me as well is, I think, I think a lot about Stephen Lawrence's parents, right? Because they were kind of like, in many ways, the original campaign and grieving parents. And the media didn't hand shit to them. They had to like pursue that and they were sort of like surveilled and sabotaged length by like huge segments of the British government. And what they wanted was entirely just and reasonable and correct. And the mail worked out that they could use that to sell newspapers. And since then, I think there's been a recognition that like grieving parents is a good way to sort of like activate the campaigning press mode. And now that we've sort of we've done the one where the press is going to campaign for something good to happen. Now we can just do it for like, so just some other shit, whatever, you know, make it illegal to vape.

Is it a grieving parent who's like, I want, I want Katie Price to have those tits brought back up to size. parent who's like, I want, I want Katie Price to have those tits brought back up to size. Like, well, that's what they want. It's what they, no, it's not up to us. We've got Katie Price on the line. It's like disrespectful to them if you don't think that that's a good idea, right? It just feels nakedly exploitative. And it feels like I think even as someone who has a lot of political opinions, right? If I like, God forbid like, add my child murdered, I think I would be in, like, absolutely no frame of mind to do fucking policy white papers. And anyone who asked me to do that, I think would so transparently, like, have an agenda about what they wanted me to

say that I would feel really gross and this feels really gross. Well, it's like the dichotomy between do you want to enact this bad policy that won't work or do you not care about murdered children? Yeah, exactly. And particularly with Breanna Jai's mother, it's like, do we want to address any of the any of the stuff that like is responsible for her death? Well, not really, because that's all stuff that both parties have been trafficking for years. So I guess we can pin this one on social media again, you know. And it's also like getting someone who's clearly like probably not in their best state of mental health and just being like, what do you think the nation's media?

And we're going to like pull apart whatever it is that you say. Yeah. And it's like, maybe just let her be sad about her dead child. Like maybe we don't need. Yeah, because like so much of like media training and I say this is someone who had to do it, all the doorstopping, and that sense that the doorstopping... Because I think I've told the story before, but I remembered one time that I had said that, hey, if someone's kid died, is it necessarily good to go do that? Why wouldn't you just give them some space? And we're that, hey, like if someone's kid died, like, is it necessarily good to go do that?

Like, why wouldn't you just be able to give them some space? And we're like, nope, you just got to do it. That's just what we all do. Don't think about it too much. Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump out of the breathing. And you're just like, huh? And go to the next grave over. Yeah. And so it does sort of feel like, okay, well, even in your worst moments, you are still sort of coerced into like the media system that runs British society. And like at a certain point, like you end up in like, it's the worst case thing to sort of like for a parent, like, have to accept that, yeah, like, you know, whatever we sort of know about all the structural issues

that sort of all the structural problems that led to like, these types of tragedies, ultimately, you then become this part of this sort of performance which exists completely externally and outside of you. And the whole point of it is that, like, you know, unless you sort of have a lot of charity and like support behind you, like that will just sort of be forgotten. And I think, you know, the sort of stuff that happened in Parliament today, or like in the comments today and like the sort of comments that Rishi Sunak made, is this really indicative of the fact that like, well, she sort of served her purpose of like, kind of lukewarmly endorsing the sort of what you call it the online safety belt and like,

it's sort of more reactionary elements like, you know, now you're done. Well, because also like, whenever you get something like this, that's like a kind of like, tragic, but very unusual case, not to say the transphobia is unusual, but specifically a child being murdered by other children is thankfully very unusual. It happens extremely rarely. Everyone's like, well, this has never happened before and now it happens every Tuesday.

It's a crime. And it's like, well, like children have always murdered other children. Again, very occasionally. It's not like a new thing. It's not like, it's not phones making them do it. Like the James Bulger case when I was a very young kid. And no one, no one was asking his parents shit.

Like no one was sort of like sticking a microphone in their face and being like, what do you, what do you want done about this? You know? There's a lot of like, I think there's a lot of similarities to like the stuff that we were talking about regarding like knives and stabbing and stuff as well. Where like the sort of like the scale of like stabbing in London are like massively overinflated and like massively exaggerated for like broadly political purposes. But like, okay, if you want to talk about the increase in like knife violence, like, yeah, you can do it. There's

a lot of literature on it. There's a lot of like evidence to sort of suggest that, you know, that we're not having any of that. Yeah. But you can't do it because you could cause talking about structural issues is gay, right? And you're not having any of that. Yeah, but you can't do it because talking about structural issues is gay, right? And you're not allowed to do that. So instead, it just goes back to, the only answers that are sort of, you are there to sort of give. And that's it. It's like, when they ask you, like, oh, what do you think about this stuff? The most insulting thing is that, if you actually do think critically about what happened and be like, hey, I think there were lots of sort of social situations and lots of sort of social situations and like lots of sort of,

you know, the fact that we have sort of a decaying state and like that affects people on a personal level, you know, it affects everyone eventually, like you're not allowed to say that. Like that is a thing that you will sort of be booed at for saying. And so you sort of recognize at a certain point that like, okay, your job is just to sort of be reactionary as possible, or your job as like a journalist, as someone who actually does get the access to like, speak to a parent and like, does have policymakers, like actually listen to them, your job is really just to sort of justify kind of bills that are like struggling through like the comments or the lords. LWR It's quite coercive in its way. And I think,

again, I'm still thinking about the Lawrence because that was the stuff that they wanted was again, sectioned off and like, quarterised so, so quickly, even by the, you know, the papers that were ostensibly supporting them. Like, as we know, it didn't make the Met Police much less racist, right, having the sort of inquiry as a structural racism. But it was something that allowed, you know, the police and papers to kind of like dust their hands and be like, good, we've addressed this. Thank you. Let's not think about this or any implications it might have now or at any future time. So just sort of drawing a circle around all of it before moving on. You know, I think

that if you look back at the entire story, it is once again, at every point, everyone from sort of the political and media sphere has treated it with the maximum amount of pure cynicism. And at every point, the, I think, murdered child has taken a kind of backseat. Yeah, hopefully. If you get murdered in a sort of like gruesome enough way, then you just kind of become public property. And the way in which this country and its media particularly treats people who become public property is nauseating. So I would like to jarringly shift the tone again. Because we are revisiting an old friend for the rest of the episode.

Ambulans. The Ambulans. They changed their name from ambulance to ambulance. They've taken out another vowel. They're not fucking around. Pretty soon, they'll just be, hmm. We're going to keep removing vowels until you take notice. Yeah.

Blens. Yeah. Blens, yeah. So, then start adding vowels in again and they deliver you a little salmon pancake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking Rhonda Santis when someone shows him a room full of balloons. Mm, balloons. Yeah, so this is ambulance, what we talked about.

If you remember, it was basically a kind of Uber for ambulances. And this is from a medium of Uber for ambulances. And this is from a medium article about it in 2019. I hate the surge pricing when you're trying to get an ambulance. Basically. Well, after applying and interviewing with Ambulance, Corey, this person that's being written about, a fender of fake name, received an offer, went to the company's office in

Carson, California for orientation. The office he remembers was pretty legit and modern looking, reminding him of an Apple store. But his experience quickly soured, saying that in his orientation class of approximately 32 people, most employees seemed quite strange, as if they were turned down by every other ambulance company. He says one new hire told him that his only previous working experience was 12 years as a seasonal Halloween scare actor at Universal Studios. Quick, we need to wake this guy up. He's too sleepy, but you can't touch him. Just like we wake him up without touching him.

Just like doing the like bursting the inflated paper bag thing with a bag valve mask. Just like... This guy's called the Hiccups. He's called an ambulance. No, we're an ambulance that only deals with frivolous things. That's right. So, though we said he'd been told in his job interviews, he'd be paid $16 an hour. The orientation, he was told the rate was only 12, and ambulance told him the station he'd be working at had changed for location an hour further from his home. After 20 minutes as an employee, he quit.

He signed a resignation form, received a check for four hours of work. I mean, the thing here is, and I think I may have said as much on the first, the OG, like ambulance episode under a different name, that I think it's, there are a lot of private ambulance companies that are like this or more like this than anyone would like to admit. This is just putting a kind of like startup gloss on it, but I am excited to find out all the ways in which it's worse. Oh, it's stupid.

And there are some fellas with some names and get involved. Oh, awesome. Have they taken the vowels out? No, they've left them in. Have asked those names who are spoiling us. I'm Stavgyn. OK. So basically, the way to understand their corporate structure is that there's a company

called Doc Go. Great. Doc Go is the search engine. Gotcha. Yeah. Doc Doc Go. Doc Goose, yeah. And they own a number of subsidiaries, all of which are basically related, all of which

basically do the same thing, which is often non-emergency patient transport. Yeah. Like, getting people from here to there. Yeah, sick people. Yeah, often non-emergency patient transport. Yeah. Like getting people from here to there. Yeah, sick people. Getting into the hiccup doctor. Yeah, exactly. If you have like the chronic hiccups, then you got to get the sort of like ambulance to and from hospital for your weekly like hiccup appointments. For your weekly paper bag puff.

Yeah, exactly. They've got the like scare actor in there with you. So like, yeah. We've triaged your hiccups and whilst bad, they're not life threatening. So we're going to take you to the day center. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, again, like that kind of non-emergency patient transport is one of the easily outsourceable bits of ambulance services. And this is like another one of these like things that we look at so, so often where it's like public service looking at what the most easily like what the easiest off cuts are. And this is one. Yeah. Yeah. And they also will do things like mobile medicine for stuff you don't need a doctor for like giving you a vaccination. Yeah.

Sure. That's that's the basics of it. Right. So. Dock go. Your hiccup vaccine. Dock. It's just they shoot you up with a little bit of a paper bag. Yeah, that's right. Deactivated one. It's like homeopathy. I'm going to prescribe you to watch the last hour and a half of the film Hereditary. I think that's going to keep the hiccups at bay for a while. So, Daco is leading the proactive healthcare revolution, they say on their website.

Our AI-powered technology. Cool. Keep in mind that they tout that they're an AI company as we go. I love that we're just sticking that into any company now. Like, oh, we do like ambulances for people with the hiccups. It's AI, don't ask how. I have loved learning all about sort of the people involved in this and the AI claims.

They make one of my favorite spurious AI claims. Which we're gonna get to. And Riley's read a lot of these, so you know it's gonna be good. So our AI powered technology, 6,000 plus mobile medical clinicians and relentless dedication to compassionate care help ensure we keep you and your family out of the hospital. Okay.

But isn't their job taking? I was gonna say. Yeah, that's the proactive healthcare. The ambulance that drives you somewhere else just drops you off, kicks you out of the curve. It just leaves you in the woods. The ambulance that takes you as far away as possible from every hospital. By the time we find our way out of here, we'll be better.

So mobile medical care helps drive better patient outcomes. Doc goes committed to delivering high quality, ex-highly accessible healthcare for all, leveraging our agile approach to bring care to patients where it's needed and when it's needed. Topical, you know, like agile companies. Oh, we love that. Still a hard thing, yeah. So this is, but that's like the parent company.

Ambulance in the UK is specifically patient transport. And it's called communityambulance.co.uk, but it's all this branding is Ambulance by Doc it's called communityambulance.co.uk, but it's all branding is ambulance by doctor. Yeah, if you can see. Yeah, there's like a billion different ambulance companies that do this. If you see something that looks a bit like an ambulance, but is fucked in some way, it is inevitably one of these like patient transport services that have been outsourced to God knows who. Well, of course, so with ambulance pointed on the back. So we know who because it was outsourced to these people,

among other. Okay. So this is probably one of my favorite tag lines because of what the sort of converse of it implies, which is communityambulance.co.uk, a great ambulance service does not appear by accident. Wait, so their ambulance service did appear by accident. Yeah, yeah. The Aristotelian spontaneous generation theory of ambulance services. You just leave

enough guys and sort of box vans around and ambulance service will just happen. In order to bake an apple pie, you must first invent a patient transport service. We are a purposeful, we are a new purposeful type of ambulance service. Yeah, previously it was just lackadaisical, the luch ambulance that kind of drove you in the direction of the woods. And they didn't know where they were going. It was the manic pixie dream paramedic. Yeah, I hate when my EMT can't see through her bangs, you know.

Well, you see, we'd built all of these ambulances and the ambulance drivers to drive them, but we hadn't built any hospitals, so there was nowhere for them to go. It's like a really bad SIPS-6 run, just hasn't thought through the layout at all. Highly productive, with leading edge digital technology woven through with purpose to deliver social value in the communities we serve.

That wasn't written by someone who speaks any language. No, it was written by chatGVT. The world is getting smaller, but each community is different. It's easier to get to the hospital now. World is getting smaller, but each community is different. Because we're mining the earth's core. That's what we're really spending all the money on. And healthcare economies can be poles apart, but people are the same everywhere, and we

are people caring for people. Okay. Cool. Ambulance community partners is a new purposeful type of ambulance service provider that's adding social value and sharing big tech, capital B, capital T, with small ambulance providers. Our crews deliver the highest level of patient care, capital C, and are connected and cooperative capital C's.

So it's some kind of like branded care that they offer. Oh, this isn't the traditional care that you're thinking of. This is actually an acronym. So I went to their like about our technology page. Yeah, great. And you know where the good stuff is. Oh, of course I do. So I went to their technology page

where we're going to describe all of this like AI and digital stuff that they're claiming that would say like, here is the technology stack that we're using. Here's what we're going to describe all of this like AI and digital stuff they're claiming that would say like Here is the technology stack that we're using here is what we're using to do the thing Which most companies that claim to be technologies would there is a blank page that just says register here for more information Cool sign up to the ambulance mailing. Yes. If you want to know what's in our ambulances Why don't you try developing chronic hiccups you stupid son of a bitch? Yeah, why don't you become a paper bag manufacturer and then we'll have to deal

with you. I'm looking forward to like the sort of email and mental health day being like, you know, great way to, great way to like look after yourself, drink and make sure you're drinking two liters of water a day. But this is what's the AI? What's the cutting edge technology? They won't say there's a place to put your email. That's the technology. We're collecting emails. Did you put the show email in it? Are we going to find out? Are we going to get updated like when we subscribed to Neon and it ruined both of our YouTube's?

I did try to sign up. I so far don't know much. All I could find about their technological claims was one of their areas they expanded into was Wisconsin. In the press release for their expansion into Wisconsin, they said that the company's proprietary AI technology, which again, we always know. When you say, oh, we have proprietary AI technology, it's either nothing or it's a guy or it's another, another older technology you're calling AI. Yeah. They've got an RMPC running Microsoft Access.

It says, provides intelligent fleet routing, accurate ETAs in real time GPS tracking for enhanced patient engagement in peace of mind. Oh, they're using Google Maps. If you replace patient with student, that's just zoom again. Yeah. Yeah. We're hiring EMTs from out of town to like do patient transport and you can track them in real time. Maybe I don't know. It's the same thing, right? It is when the ambulances are a big battery. So check out the bonus episode where we did with Paris to get that joke that my would be. Oh, is that a call back to a future episode? It's a call back to a bonus episode. Okay. Yeah. Get on the Patreon.

You don't get all the callbacks if you're not on the Patreon. So there are footprint in the UK, meanwhile, is expanding. You're using a free version of trash feature. It's got limited functionality. So there footprint in the UK has been expanding, where on October 9th, this was a press release on New York Business Wire, says, Dock Go Incorporated, a leading provider of technology-enabled mobile health services, a claim we will question in the next 20 minutes or so. Announced today that his UK-based subsidiary, Ambulance Community

Partners, has been awarded a five-year contract to provide emergency and urgent ambulance services, so not just patient transfer. People with really bad hiccups. With acute hiccups. For South Central Ambulance Services, NHS Foundation Trust. hiccups. For South Central Ambulance Services NHS Foundation Trust. Oh, God. Oh, because you can't get a real ambulance the same day anymore. So you're just going to get the fucking big blue AI powered bus driven by a guy who used to work in a haunted house. Well, I driven by Turkish Steve. You've got to schedule your hiccups now. Turkish Steve's like Cyan painted Bedford Rascal. Yeah. The Bedford Rascal sounds like a guy like a tick tock celebrity. Like he's outside the all souls public convenience in bed.

That's being a big MPE sort of account, you know, so I'm the Bedford Rascal. So I've got a tin of paint here and we're going to fuck up Dixon's. See, I'm the Bedford Rascal. So, I've got a tin of paint here and we're gonna fuck up Dixons. See, I was expecting you to like get a sort of British shit small van reference. Oh, I did get it, but then I was just like, it's amazing that there was a van called the Bedford Rascal. Yeah. As well as a Victorian criminal. Yeah, that's right.

So, ah, the Bedford Rascal. The good stabler here on his tail. But he's got a combustion-powered van. So the services under the contract will include 16 ambulances per day, providing paramedic-led front-line urgency and urgent response. Urgency. Paramedic front-line urgency, excuse me, an emergency. Also, paramedic-led.

Yeah, what does that mean? Does that mean there's one paramedic sitting in the control room telling them what to do? Does it mean that they are crewed with paramedics? Or like, oh, there's a crew of three and there's like one paramedic and two haunted house guys. Yeah, I mean, does it mean that they have a paramedic who is like an AI? An AI that they're calling a paramedic with this? Okay, I'm gonna give you the adrenaline now. It's going to feel a bit cold. And there's two guys over shoulder going, whoo, whoo, whoo.

What will this issue? It's set to begin in October of this year. To be fair. So this was pressed a second. A few scarier experiences than being intubated by someone who doesn't know what they're doing. So in many ways, that guy is like exceeding his original job.

I can't intubate him. I'm not allowed to touch the customers. I've been told being intubated by a guy. I got intubated at Disneyland haunted house. Being intubated by a guy whose only training was a PowerPoint about data protection. Yeah, perfect. That's right. The service of basically right there's this was from October 2023 that this was announced. He's in Chebacca and he's like, no names. So remember that this was announced in October 2023, right?

This is when the UK or this particular trust looked directly at ambulance and said, you know what? We trust these people to deliver AI-enabled, paramedic-led emergency energy care. Because they're not on the Patreon. They hadn't heard the previous episode and that's why it's so important. Genuinely, it should not be the case. And this is something we've talked about before, is like councils getting defunded, I'm sure NHS Trust are in the same position, especially ambulance services, where it's like, we, us dickheads, should not be the last line of

scrutiny and defense against hiring these people, these fucking, like circus clowns to do your patient, to do your emergency care. No, but that's very unfair. They're haunted house workers, not clowns. Excuse me. Yeah, circus clowns actually are higher calling. You know, I have to go to clown schools. Yeah, clowns are actually scary. Yeah, this is our clown-led response to you. Yeah.

This basically is a clown-led response to you. We've had to expand the footwells on the ambulance. The size of the shoes, these kinds of way. They don't make an ambulance. The company also... You can get a lot of them in there, though. The company is also providing... I was wondering if you could do that.

I know, that would be perfect, the cloud ambulance, because the ambulance is so oversubscribe, just like 50 patients being pulled out of one ambulance. Like a string of silk scarves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the company is also currently providing medical transport services for northeast ambulance, northwest ambulance, east of England ambulance,

and Yorkter ambulance. Jesus, that's so many. Just while we weren't looking, like, the timeline here is, I go on the fucking trashy-ish podcast to talk about ambulance, nobody listens, everybody hires these fuckers to do everything, they kill your nan, putting like a cloud nose on her while she's going into cardiac arrest. We do another podcast about it and I know it. That's his voice.

But while they were riffing about the lagoon, something very strange is happening in Yorkshire. Smash gutters and found footage. Yeah, yeah. The paramedic who's leading the paramedic-led thing has a big board and he like turns around really quickly. And he, you know, hits you over the back of the head with it. Yeah, all the paramedics is a joke. So, I want to talk a little bit about what ambulance has gone through in America in the last year before... Is it strength to strength?

Well, I've written the word embattled here. Oh, they're like Sam Allardy. So, again, this is not just like maintaining their services that they have here, but expanding them. Yeah, in a big way. As the like public sector ones like contract. Yes. So in September, CEO of Darko, Anthony Capone, Anthony Capone designed a... Sorry. They got him on tax evasion. No, no, that's a weird thing.

No. No, they did not. No, no, no. So, okay, hold that thought. Okay. Hold that thought. Right? About, again, Tony Capone?

Yeah, Tony Capone. So, hold that thought about how Al Capone was God on tax evasion. Mm-hmm. It's gonna come back. Okay. Okay. Not tax evasion. I'm not alleging he God on tax evasion? Mm-hmm. It's gonna come back. Okay. Not tax evasion. I'm not alleging he's a tax evader. Okay, fine.

So, okay. Are we allowed to do bits about the clown ambulance being lobbed up clowns? Yes. The Gambino clown family. I think going through the legals in his head there. The Gambino clown family. So, unbalanced, yes. Yeah. So, in September. One of The Gambino clown family. So, unbalanced, yes. Yeah.

So, in September. One of five families, they're clowns. In September. You gotta go to the big top, Tom. No, look, be careful. Dr. Johnny Big Shoes. Be careful if you ever have a sit down with him. Look at the chair first.

That's right. So, I got one big... Just a dead Bobster who's got like a slightly wet face. They're like, they got him with the fucking squirty flower. I hate these sick fucks So, okay, we got to do something in September Yeah, you're going to the mattresses, but you squeak when you land Swing it through the air on a fucking trapeze one one of my cars and What am I tossing?

Poorly and Chris just like shooting up at the Trebeze with pistols. So in September the CEO, it's in the New York Times. Again, do this get written about in Britain that much? No, of course. It did a couple of years ago when they were like fucking up quite badly in Liverpool, but it never sort of got to be the kind of national scandal that maybe it should. Journalists listen to this podcast. What are you doing guys? badly in Liverpool, but it never sort of got to be the kind of national scandal that maybe it should. Journalists listen to this podcast. What are you doing, guys?

Like... So, they're FT journalists, only we and sort of other business people in other countries have had... Oh, he's on the ground. ...and have had his indian need of the Wiggins treatment. Get Wiggins on this. Okay. Okay, okay.

In September, this is New York Times, CEO Anthony Capone resigned amid growing scrutiny from officials in New York City as well as the state over the handling of its migrant care contract with the city, which was the very bad thing that, you know, they did. Capone also faced allegations that he falsely represented his educational background, which is the thing they got him for. They kind of did get him on tax evasion. Yeah, they got him on a homework charge Yeah, basically perfect. He claimed to be like doctor Capone and he wasn't or whatever. Mm-hmm. Oh wait He's he's like fucking um Bill Ackman's wife

So basically there's now a class action lawsuit against them saying, from their investors saying that they... My hiccups are worse. You know, it's from their investors saying that they made materially false and misleading statements, basically being like, we're doing great and then it turns out they weren't doing great. We have all this great technology, it turns out they didn't. A lot of the times this happens... That's like me when my mom used to call me. A lot of the times that this happens, the investors will then file a class action lawsuit. Like it's sort of a bit of a technical thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Matt Levin. It's part of the dance of investment. Yeah, basically it's like, well, you can say that if you said you're doing well and you're not doing well, you say you have this technology and you don't, that's a kind of parole. Yeah, you can say that's a kind of securities fraud, which is a bit tenuous, but it's like

the Matt Levin argument that anything that a company does can be construed as securities fraud anyway That's a tangent So basically the company was given a no bid contract by the state of New York in May to bust migrants Upstate and care for them as this as New York City ran in a room Yeah, it's fully just like the public service of last resort here. I talked to Tony Capone, we got all these Mexicans, I'm telling you, they got the hiccups. They got the hiccups real bad. But it's not even a public service, because the public service of last resort is commonly thought of as the police.

But now it's the public service of last resort where we're not allowed to own anything and the police are now too highly paid to just you know be Be moving migrants around so we have to invent a new and worse public service of last resort in Britain The public service of last resort is not the police because there are no police left. It's a and e Whatever whatever fucked up thing just shove it in a and e and we'll figure it out later So in August governor Governor Kathy Hochul ordered a probe into the company over complaints by migrants who claimed they were lured to Albany by the company with promises of jobs and legal assistance and then essentially abandoned.

The ambulance that takes you to the woods, it's real. Lured to Albany, what a phrase. So we'll talk a little bit more about this. Again, the quite substantive thing that they did wrong, but let's talk a little bit about what Tony Capone lied, the taxes he evaded, so to speak, metaphorically. Yeah. Capone's sudden exit from the company was apparently tied to false academic credentials in his professional biography. This is also, this is from the Times Union.

Which one Chicago cop that got the better of him? Which he attributed to an error, which he said should have been corrected. You said one of those to the hospital, they send one of yours to the woods. We send one of theirs to the big top. They send one of ours to the lion cages. Fucking. I'm broke. I don't know circus circuses have lions? Unless a circus is allowed. We're particularly throwing people to the lions, isn't something they do at the circus.

Unless it's like the circus Maximus. What kind of circus is where you going? There's another like Riley's grandfather's story. They owned a circus in northern Quebec where they throw the French to the line for the entertainment of the townspeople. Deep Quebec where they're still mastering Christian stuff. Yeah, yeah. Well, Quebec where they brought over like a star room like religion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dabber and hack and... People always argue about what the successor states the Roman Empire is and the answer is clearly Quebec. Yeah, that, yeah. Tabernacle. People was arguing about what the successor states the Roman Empire is, and the answer is clearly Quebec. Yeah, that's right. So, my graduate degree, he said in a speech to investors, is in computational learning theory, which is a subset of artificial intelligence. And this is also part of why, how he secured this multi-billion dollar federal contract

to provide transportation services for for migrants? However, then when the university was asked, hey, has this guy ever God's this university at all? Yeah, the university is asked this guy bothering you. They were like, who is Tony Capone? Yeah, we've never heard of literally No, we would never admit Natalia. Um, yeah We would never admit Natalia. Um, yeah. So I mean, we've got a policy on that. Is that it?

Like, because I don't care. Like lying about your graduate degree, you should be able to lie about whatever degree. Like, unless you're literally like a surgeon or whatever, I do not care. I promise you I don't. It should be legal to lie about anything. You think it's like, in order to get this,

like multi-billion dollar federal contract, it's like, if you can lie well enough, then you this like multi-billion dollar federal contract is like if you can lie well enough Yeah, basically you get the multi-billion dollar like yeah, like those two guys who did the like arms dealing, you know But maybe they got over the head dogs. Yeah, the war dogs. Is it a crime to war dog? probably but Maybe it shouldn't be maybe that's the kind of agility that I'll come to. So meet me, meet me behind the bushes next to the Soviet tank. So Capone then said, said to the Times Union, not the Times on Thursday, that while he did not have a master's degree, he had received his

undergraduate degree in computer science from a quote, accredited university. I will not name. Cool. Oh, this is very much like I've got a girlfriend, met her on holiday. She goes to a different school. Hollywood Upstairs Medical School. Or in this case, Hollywood Upstairs AI Laboratory. Excuse me. Yeah. He went to like Neary Oxman's Deniable Media Lab. We're trying to program Judy Garland. Imagine that AI lab, but it's all like ragtime old Hollywood stuff. We're gonna make a picture. See, we're gonna do all the computers. The buffins over here have built this difference engine. We're gonna make a tab dance.

Doing the MIT speech that's like, you know, looks to your left, looks to your right. You know, one of you is not gonna graduate MIT, except it's like if you are caught, you know, MIT will disavow all knowledge of your activities. I'm a deniable operative. I mean, I'm in the K-Cardra at MIT. If you build a really stupid ambulance, we will deny all knowledge. Here's the fun part. On Capone's CV, he claims that for all of his degrees, he earned some come loud a honors, but spelled it some come loud.

Some come quiet, but we all bust in the end. So that's like, that's like something the fucking Prospero would say in gladiator. Maximus, some come loud, some come quiet, but in the end, all must bust, Maximus. All must bust! So this is the guy who, again, all of his summer come loud, or smoke in that doobie. The most weed-smoking undergraduate against the summer come loud. The valedictorian. I was I was honking on that ganja.

Smoking that cheese like a Jamaican. So this is just this is that's I think it's from 21 seconds to go. I think it's one of those. It's smoking that cheese like a Jamaican. Yeah. So anyway, so this is Todie Capone. Yeah. So he also has made some seriously other weird claims about AI where he says that, Doc Go, you should invest in it because it stands out for the competition because it's so AI based. He says, at an investor conference with Morgan Stanley, he spoke about a technology that allows the company to help migrants a 50-step

process to become self-sufficient. Cool. Okay. What are the steps? Okay. Doesn't say. B-boy. Clown college. Graffiti. Yeah. Squeezy newszy knows he says through the 50 step technology. Jesus. Scarface only had like a four step plan to become like fully self actualized as an immigrant in America. Right. First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women, uh, and, and then you, you are scarface. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Um, that's like a four step plan. The other 51 God knows where they come from. They say this like the people at Ambulance when someone calls in saying they've got the hiccups.

It's the scene from Scarface where they're like laughing and the money's coming out of the cabinet. So, under dollar bills, I'm flying all over the room. So they also have some other seriously strange things as well. Like a vehicle they call the hover lense. Fucking what? What so it can rescue you from a swamp? If you have it, if you've got the hiccups and you're in an active minefield. No, so it is an ambulance, a normal ambulance, or normal ambulance ambulance, but with like tank treads and like a quadcopter.

What? Can I see a picture of this? Is there an image? There it is. Why? Why? I cannot stress enough how much this looks like something from Team Fortress 2. This does not look like a real vehicle.

Stuffed by only the finest like theme park actors. And notice respect to theme park actors as a profession. When you sign up for ambulance, you've got to choose a class. You can either be a thief, berserker, demolition. So, Darko will display the nation's first all electric zero emissions ambulance as the hover lance of constant vehicle created by an emergency response to any patient anywhere by a lens, see your air. It's a sea, sea, it doesn't have a sea, there we go, that's that thing cannot fucking fly. This is a Mercedes Sprinter van with four propellers crudely welded

on the roof. These are not big enough to make something that heavy flight, no zero chance. Have you seen how big a helicopter's blades are? And a helicopter is so much lighter than that fucking thing. And it's got four individual tank trends. I also imagine it can't really operate like in most aspects. Well, it would feel like that side of like a major shot down by the RAF identified ambulance. Yeah, being being able to get an ambulance to buy air, if only there was some kind of like thing for that, some kind of like air ambulance of the air.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, better invent this Mercedes Sprinter. It does always make me laugh. How around London, you very rarely see an actual air ambulance, but you constantly see the cars that say air ambulance on them. I don't think so, mate. I don't. Stealing baller. Yeah, you might be in the air ambulance on them. I don't think so, mate.

Stealing the baller. Yeah, you might be in the air ambulance. The cuts are kicking in. So, uh, the New York city is Doc goes hometowns at Anthony Capone. Our long time partnership in the city field has allowed us to support sports events with ambulance transportation in stadium emergency medical services. Do you like the Mets so much that you hurt yourself? We're looking forward to showing up for our home teams and showcasing our wonderful hoverlands for all anticipated 40,000 fans. We also alluded earlier to improper provision of meals to migrants.

Yeah, the really bad thing. The actual bad thing that he did, but that was sort of fine. Aside from killing your nan with the landing, the hover Mercedes on her. They gave them the shit that billionaire is obsessed with being young eats. Basically, New York City would pay tens of thousands of dollars a month to dot go or ambulance for meals that were supposed to then feed the migrants that were in their care, which mostly ended up getting thrown away. And I presume they spent that all on meals for the migrants, right? Well, so this is the difficult bit.

It's more about sort of mismanagement and an unwillingness to sort of improve standards than it is about profiteering, or at least so it seems from the available, and I've been able to learn about it, because they would provide the basically that the meals were provided on what's called a pass-through basis, which is like, which is they agree as part of the package of services to provide the meals the New York City pays for them, but they don't get like reimbursed. So they wouldn't have made huge amounts of money. They just wasted a lot of the city's money. Basically, okay. They made a lot of

money by providing a kind of slapdash and substandard service. That's how they make the money, not by like this one weird meal thing. Okay, okay. This one weird meal. Yeah. Ambulance service shocks hotel full of migrants by providing perfect molded chicken. Chow mein with gravy. Why is an ambulance service doing this? Like what?

Who else would? You know why? It's because with some, we got Tony Capone in the head of it who saw a big no bid for like contract and was like, okay We have cars. We'll have a go. We've we have a staff of haunted house performers. There's a man who loves to say yes Absolutely, we've got a Mercedes sprinter that can fly allegedly. Yeah, so dumping like chicken gel phrasey for ones out the back of the hovering Mercedes Yeah, that's right. So um, I throwing them down like it's a leper colony

ladies. Yeah, that's right. So throwing them down like it's a leper colony. So a doggosupervisor at the Brooklyn Vibe Hotel, VYBE, which records safe houses. They're named after a kind of sex toy, perhaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, you know, the rim will get the London look, get the Brooklyn vibe., which reports 184 meals were wasted at lunch alone. The supervisor had a lot of money. Because about 200. Jesus. And this is because, and it's because, right, they are giving this food to people who are in their care and the migrants are quite rightly looking at it and saying, this is basically

punishment as food. Imagine the kind of... This is disgusting. I will not eat it. Like the desperate shit that you've had to go through to get from fucking like Guatemala or whatever to New York City and for the food to be that bad that you're like absolutely not is. So like 90% of you as well. That's Jesus.

What the supervisor? What are they serving them? Well, I'll tell you about it. The supervisor nevertheless of course checked the yes box when answering whether the migrants enjoyed their meals. A common response from supervisors despite vast evidence to the contrary. So written responses, even though they take yes, include clients angry and claim that the food has more than is making them sick, even as she checked the yes box and whether the migrants enjoyed the food.

Oh, that's some like form jitsu there, by the way. That's like high level bureaucracy to be like, was the food enjoyed? Yes. Comments. Everybody fucking hated it. Yeah. But they enjoyed the complaint. You know, maybe they enjoyed it at a higher level that we're not equipped to serve. One migrant from Port-au-Prince, Haiti said, the first day I ate this food, they had to

take me to the hospital. That was convenient. They just left me to the hospital. I was convenient with the run out. They just left me in the woods. But, you know, it's basically like, we know that in the US prison system, bad food is used as punishment. Yeah, the news for life. That's a thing that happens. Yeah, and also have a profiteering.

Yeah, that too. And so in this case, it's the same thing, right? Where they are willing to, and again, like using a lot of political space that's been opened up for them, just be like, yeah, we are willing to, and again, like using a lot of political space that's been opened up for them, just be like, yeah, we are going to, we are going to essentially keep, you know, people coming to seek asylum in the country, trapped in like a red roof in suburban Buffalo, giving them inedible food. The one good review is like, this food gave me the hiccups, but imagine my delight. But

when two theme park scare actors appeared with a paperback. So, and again, all of this happened before the contract was awarded for them to like take on more ambulance service in the UK. Do you imagine that any sort of like an ambulance service in England has a person who does do diligence to who Googles any of the people that they give contracts to, or who even listens to trash feature. No. The bare minimum, which is listening to trash feature. Yes, exactly. Above that is googling it. Yeah. I want to see Patreon receipts from every ambulance trust in England and Wales.

So this is from a short seller report, which is short.co. They say that the problems go even deeper. We're building practices that former employees say amount to Medicare fraud. With one saying, I would finish the patient care report, I'd hit send on the tablet, it would go to an office in the Philippines, who were basically looking that had I written the report to squeeze every possible dollar out through whoever insurance company was paying for that particular trip. And every ambulance company works this way. But this one just has an office to do it on purpose.

Yeah, you know, the fraud department, not the department that helps you avoid doing fraud, quite the opposite. The lawsuits exposing multiple allegations of forging signatures on documents, billing for COVID tests that weren't actually performed, cultures of cover up rather than comply where management covers up mistakes and patient care issues. And this actually is evidence from the UK subsidiary where the and again This is a report from the Times saying ambulance NHS ambulance service. This is in 2022

Doctored documents to cover up truth about deaths where they were they were linked to the deaths of almost 90 patients and yet They're still in post He had a nasty case of. He cups now, he's having a little rest. And also leadership has a long history. This short seller report goes on of lies and connections to fraudulent schemes where two key people were at companies that the DOJ charged with fraudulently overbilling the government. Another's business was caught up in the unraveling of the second largest Ponzi scheme in history. Yeah, but this guy, this guy, he lied about his degree though. So yeah. And a board of board of directors whose backgrounds include

multiple pump and dumps, penny stocks, delistings, reverse mergers and connections to other large Ponzi schemes. Also, you wouldn't be surprised. They have like a little no name auditor like Green Sill. Like Green Sill also had like Hollywood upstairs, like a accountancy office doing a single Australian man. Longdia Beach downstairs accounting. They're, they're, they, man. Always Bondi Beach downstairs accounting.

Their company's quote, AI subsidiary, and in Stonia is just one guy. Cool. Anyway, this is from this week. OK. .Go, a provider of mobile health services, this is from also PR Newswire, has initiated a stock repurchase program as provided by the company's board of directors. Basically this is is they're taking money that they have, again, that we, the UK taxpayer have given them in many cases,

to repurchase its stock, which basically they repurchase it, which creates demand, which drives the share price up. It's one of the ways that companies use lots of money they have to induce more people to invest. It gets the stock price up. It gets the people going. It's provocative. The new CEO of Dock Go, Lee Beanstalk. I sold my ambulance for these magic beans. Lee Beanstalk. Lee Beanstalk. And his assistant Jack. Yeah.

Expressed confidence in the company's performance and future potential, citing the recent share price decline as not indicative of the company's value. Yet I know Britain. If I know Britain, we are going to be hanging on to them by our nails as they just flounder. He said to investors, if you can hear anyone muffled from the next room saying, fee five oh fun, please ignore that. It's an issue with the AC. Yeah, because no one else is going to do it. And the alternative is no ambulances. Anyway, anyway, that was ambulance. A nice bookend to having had Alice on the podcast.

She was a good host, I think. I hope this November character is also, you know, rewarding. Anyway, I want to thank you all for listening. Remind you that we have a Patreon it's five dollars a month and that we have a live show in March we do on the 13th. But it's a back of comedy club in East London. Oh, back there again. Yeah, do you know before to some people on the discord word by the fact that it's being produced by big belly comedy and thinking it's at big belly comedy club Club, which is in Voxel. That is so confusing. It is on the other side of London at the Backyard Comedy Club. It's in Bethnal Green. That's right.

So do come down to that. We'll be doing our usual, you know, yuck-um-ups. That's right. Yeah, we're doing gross stuff. Riley's going to be firing ping pong balls out of his pussy, so come down to enjoy that. That's the grand finale. Yeah, I have two dates, Brighton on the 6th or the 5th or the, no, the 3rd, the 3rd of March. Please, please come to that. I have Leicester, two shows in Leicester, my old show and a new show

on the 18th of February and Australia. So many Australian dates in March and April and also like there's some whips and stuff happening in London in February. So please come to those. Well, Riley's left the room. Thank you everyone for listening. We'll see you all next week. Bye bye. Thank you.