TRASHFUTURE - May 6th: The Cops Election

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

May 6th will mark regional local elections in the UK, to include the London mayoral election. Considering that 4 of the 5 of us are based in London, this does in fact affect us. However, all polling indicates that Sadiq Khan will win again on a platform of More Cops and handing all decisions to property developers, with the remaining candidates all basically wanting More Cops. Sian Berry? Bad. Laurence Fox? Don't make me laugh. Shaun Bailey? Joke. Brian Rose? Okay, he's extremely bad also, but that man is a verifiable content machine. So, we decided on a platform of 'vote if you want to do but don't really expect much either way' and then decided to talk about Brian Rose's completely bonkers life force. Hope you enjoy! If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture We support the London Renters Union, which helps people defeat their slumlords and avoid eviction. If you want to support them as well, you can here: https://londonrentersunion.org/donate Here's a central location to donate to bail funds across the US to help people held under America's utterly inhumane system: https://bailproject.org/?form=donate *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)  

Hello and welcome back to the free one of the free one. Yes, there it is. That's the voice that we're going to be doing about this forever. I suppose you get for free. Yeah, that's right. I was here playing the part of the listener. Yeah, I think the listeners here also the listeners are going to include half the staff at my dentists because I went to the dentist today and they asked me in like casual conversation. Oh, what do you do for a living? And I panicked and I forgot to lie. And I said, I'm a podcaster. I do a podcast called trash future. And so they said they were going to listen to it. And I'm so sorry. Please do turn off women, women saying their L's using their mouths in the dentist chat. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's

well, hey, you know what? If you managed to find this place, this particular podcast from the search string, then I'll welcome you. Yeah, that's right. But when you go to the dentist, it's not the free one. It's bonus. Yes, that's right. Hey, none of that. No, not on here. I need the dentist. The dentist. Look, we have a lot to get through today. So I'm going to jump right in. Do you think it's still, do you think it's not too late for me to change my name, flee town and get a new dentist? Yeah, you can get whatever you want, especially now that the elections are coming up and you have the opportunity to elect the Alba party, I suppose. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you could you could get a dentist. I assume they'll have free dental care, not just a bunch

of like, you know, insane crank positions and you get it in Gaelic. Yeah, they've got a manifesto for dogs. I mean, okay, there you go. If nothing else, I can get veterinary care. Scottish independence warfare end them. Yeah, that's right. Replace my dentist with a vet. This is the Alba party position. I'm pretty sure. Good for the canines. So we're also a little bit late to this party, but did you all know that there is some drama afoot in Westminster and Boris Johnson appears to have been on the wrong end of some rather unkind words and comments and revelations. He's on the ropes. We're being told every day that he is on the ropes. Now, on his 150th consecutive day on the ropes, his polling will slide at any moment.

That's right. It's one of those things. It's a bit like an ocean shelf. It sort of, it doesn't go anywhere and then it suddenly drops off. I did find it very funny about like, when the whole like bodies quote did happen, the poll came out the next day showing like a plus five lead. British people love dying. We love it. So here's a whole like coronavirus, like everyone's a treat thing, right? I think that's so internalized now, but like when they do hear of some prime minister wishing you death, they're like, yes, please, please, like murder me and make a poppy in my honor. So for context, what's happened here is that the like a lot of the right wing press was reporting, I think leaked pretty much pretty

conclusively leaked by Dominic Cummings. I don't care that he said, I'd rather let the bodies pile high in their thousands. So he said it in a bit of a stupid way than have another fucking lockdown. Yeah. And it's like stupid guy says stupid thing from a stupid guy position. It's like man bites dog least surprising thing ever. But the press decided this was the thing that was going to kill him. I don't know why because Dominic Cummings terrified them with a sort of Svangali like thing that he does. And so they were all just like, yeah, no, he's finished and the polls have not cooperated. He is not finished. It's so funny to me that like they think that the thing that's going to get Boris Johnson isn't the fact that he let 120,000 people

die. But it's the fact that he had some awareness of the fact that that's what he was doing as though when he was doing that just because he's a fucking idiot, that was fine. That was like honest letting 120,000 people die. That's what you do. It doesn't count until he looks down and realizes that he's gone over the edge of the ravine. Yeah. It seems like it's like no one actually cares that he did pile the bodies high in their thousands. He did it. But the problem is is and what the media has been talking about is that he made indelicate remarks about it. Because this is Britain and you and you, if you're going to kill like over 100,000 people with like state neglect, more or less on purpose, you're not allowed to really acknowledge that

you've done it. It has to be unsaid. There's a whole like British thing isn't all of this whole like like mythology that British people like to internalize of being very like well spoken and polite and kind of like, you know, not, you know, not crude unlike their sort of like European counterparts. But like this is never. Why are you trying to shake? This is never been true. Like, you know, it's the whole idea of like, you know, British people are being very delicate with their words and sort of like dancing around things because they don't like confrontation. Like none of it, none of that is true. But I think that like, like many things depressed likes to internalize, I think they really internalize the idea of like, oh, this isn't statesman

like at all. And like the British people won't stand for this. And it's kind of like, have you, have you seen, have you seen the guy that you're talking like in reference to, you know, he could literally, he could literally like, shits on your child and you would still vote for him. There was another example of this, right? Because if you're not aware in France, a bunch of retired army officers have just put out a letter that's like, oh, you have to do more racism or we will do a coup d'etat against the government because they can't stop forming the OAS every 10 years, right? But David Aronovich just did a fucking column saying, oh, this had never happened in Britain. Yeah, of course.

Oh, sorry. Do we, do we remember the, like the years of every fucking retired field marshal coming out to the telegraph with, well, I mean, if Corbyn were elected prime minister, we would have to take steps. Oh yeah. No, we would need to do our own years of lead. Like, you know, it's, it's like gladio, but without the secret. It's just like, oh, well, we'll do a gladio. Like all the whole like soldiers practicing firing guns, using Jeremy Corbyn as target practice and how that was just kind of like shrugged off by much of the press. Who still like don't like, who still don't want to acknowledge how fucked up that was by just like, you know, lads. It was very sporting of Jeremy Corbyn to volunteer for that.

This is all, this is all very stupid. And I don't want to spend too much time on it because if a lot of newspaper hacks are saying, oh, this is very important, it's your key that it's not. I like to see old Boris Johnson wriggle out of this one. Oh, well, nevertheless. So it's, it's very funny though, right? That like the, the problem as ever in Britain is it's never like 130,000 people killed by austerity. The problem is you're being rude by mentioning it. 120,000 people fucking just turned into a fucking worm food by COVID. The problem is that Boris Johnson was mean about it. The thing is he did more or less everything that liberal darling Andrew

Cuomo did in New York. It's the same fucking thing of the worms. The worms need to be fed. Anyway, I want to talk about one more bit of Westminster stuff. And then we will leave these these statues in the reliquary where they belong. Is it the soft furnishing stuff? Oh, it's the soft furnishing things, which is only to me. I only want to talk about like the labor response to it, which has been just fucking inspired. No, Kier Stammer is doing owns of Boris. So I'll give some background here. What's happened is Boris Johnson is like improperly accepted a donation to like refurnish the flat above number 11 Downing Street. And like, again, everyone is an incredibly high dungeon about it because unlike all the times where he's

like, there's a whiff of impropriety or he's acted improperly. He's broken a hard and fast rule. And so everyone's like, oh, this is the end of Tory Sleaze, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, it's a it's a rule that he's in charge of enforcing and be who the fuck cares? Who cares? Yeah, it's like, it's such a weird gotcha because it's like, okay, like he has technically broken a rule. But like, who gives a fuck? Like, it's only because the UK is the dumbest country on earth that like the Prime Minister has to pay for renovations to a fucking a government owned apartment. Like it doesn't make any fucking sense anyway. Like it's hardly like a great moral victory. Like of all the things Boris Johnson has actually done, this is one of the most reasonable.

We got on two equally bad things, killing 120,000 people and soft furnishings. Turning up his nose at John Lewis. Yeah. And like breaking a rule, which when you explain it to people, they're like, well, doesn't make any fucking sense. Why would that be the rule? The John Lewis thing was the only thing he's bothered to deny was just like, oh, I love John Lewis actually. Yeah. I love the idea that in Britain, we love landlords so much that like, even when you're Prime Minister, the government is like your landlord who refuses to do up the flat that you live in. And you're like, can I please get some new curtains? All that is water drink to the government side. No, you like it. Or you fucking find somewhere else. All right, mate.

Yeah. Why don't you be go be Prime Minister of another country then? Well, I'll do it myself. Now there's a fucking rule. Just try it, you slag. Boris Johnson getting like dinged by 500 pounds. Money's done being. Because he put up a painting as a mark on that. Well, oh, it was just like, like coming in, being like, did you hang that framed poster of the choose life speech from train spotting? If only Boris Johnson did you hang that scarface poster? Now I would respect Boris Johnson if he bought a huge scarface poster of that money. So here's the other thing, right? The weird thing was Matt Hancock had offered him all this tiny furniture for free, but he turned it down. So here's the other thing, right? Is that basically

now that there is this whole thing of like, oh, he's broken an actual rule. Again, who cares? He must resign. He won't. Yeah. But he must. Yeah. And like the worst thing that could happen is like what he gets. He's fine from the electoral commission over a process that he oversees. Like, who cares? But what's very funny about it is that Starvers professional. Remember how the Labour Party was saved from its coterie of like trade union bureaucrats and like any other useless people by a team of slick professional communicators. Do you remember that? Yes. So what they've done is they've decided that after in the same week that Boris Johnson's like, I'll kill a bunch of British people on purpose. And then having then killed a

bunch of British people basically on purpose, the Labour Party decides that what they're going to do in what I could only in to describe is like like the like the equivalent politically of like an insult in a secret fan based language from the Japanese imperial court has himself photographed going to John Lewis to buy some wallpaper. Yeah. He's done an own of him in the language of flowers. Got it. And the thing that's and the thing that fucking infuriates me is that all of the most annoying people in Britain are like, this is masterful politics. Boris Johnson is finished. And the my main emotion seeing all of this is basically just vicarious embarrassment.

It's so fucking bad. I won't like take two because again, like I think this is like a nonsense thing to kind of spend too much time on. But again, it sort of goes back into like the psyche of like how the press operates, right? Which is the idea that like they don't they've spent so long kind of relying on like access politics and kind of they know that in order for their jobs, especially like in political correspondence to be relevant, they have to kind of maintain that access. So in order to kind of like create stories or to kind of create myths, they have to kind of weave out these narratives that just sound very absurd to people on the outside, but kind of only make sense inside it as a way of like, negotiating isn't

the right word, but in terms of like, setting the definitions of what's actually going on. So if someone says, for example, but like Dominic Cummings is the kind of like mastermind leaker and stuff like that, everyone else has to kind of follow suit. And if they say, but like, Keir Starmer is playing masterful politics, like people kind of like in the in that press section have to follow suit, which is why you end up getting these very absurd kind of things where people like will kind of see Keir Starmer looking at looking at like very boring and plain wallpaper or whatever and kind of like do the cry laugh emoji because they can't really accept the fact that like systemically, like it's not doing anything. Systemically, like the opposition

doesn't really master all that much. And like it had very little to do with Corbin and this whole narrative of like, you know, it was the Corbinistas, which like alienated politics, like created this alienated polarized politics that Keir Starmer is trying to fix. Like that's not true, but them admitting it has like, fantastically means that they have to admit that like they've spent the past five years or so, like not being able to kind of comprehend the type of like game that the conservative party been playing on them. And furthermore, it means that this wallpaper shit has to be meaningful because that's the only thing left that can be meaning. Yeah. If this is meaningless, then it means our jobs are meaningless and that can't be true.

Oh, no, not our phony baloney jobs. Yeah. So it's like, how can this job be meaningless? My dad got it for me. Yeah. So my job is meaningless. Why do I get paid so much? Yeah. Riddle me that. Riddle me that hipster analysts. Anyway, all very funny to watch. And also the last thing before we move on is Boris Johnson is not unbeatable. Like he is very much a creature of the press. If the press mount a sustained attack on him, he will probably fall before it, right? Like it's not like he's Trump. He doesn't have like the Twitter feed and the independent cult of personality around him. The one trick that he's learned is whenever

everybody says you have to resign, you just go, no. Yeah, that's right. They can't make you. Yeah. Boris Johnson, the Nick Mullen of politics. That's right. Anyway, I'm going to now, I said that as a joke, but that is so fucking true. That's right. So I'm going to move on to election watch 2021. Yeah, that's right. We're in Zelda. We've just opened up a chest and we found an election. Fucking jingle. Just like that. All right. I had to go to the mental repertoire. So there are elections coming up and what we've done on TF is prepared a handy dandy voting guide in case you live in Hartlepool or London. Yeah. Welcome to the two places in Britain

in decision 2021. That's right. On the local elections everywhere or are they doing in London? Also for viewers in Scotland. Yes. That's true. Well, in Scotland, you have the Alba party. Yeah. So vote for them, obviously. Cool guys. Actually, yeah, do vote for them. That would be very funny. Please do that. Do not vote for them or at all. The position of this podcast is do not vote at all. It's my position, kind of. Yeah. We've gone reverse Democrat. We're like, you know what? Don't. I didn't vote. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, you can vote if you want to, but like, I don't know, if you have plans or you want to watch a movie, do that instead. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do.

Yeah. I'm going to wake up on the day and if I feel like it, I'm going to go do it and I'm going to tell you who I'm going to vote for after the end of this segment. That's right. But so basically, we're going to, there's a by-election and sorry if you don't live in London, it's just that I do. And so I follow London politics a bit. I do want to talk about... We do so move here, I guess. I do want to talk about... I do want to talk about some of the other local election candidates, if only because there are some very funny parties running, especially in Scotland, that I think will probably generate a lot of councillors who have like local news headlines attached to them for

getting in like a stupid fight over some like a side-yard thing. It's called Scotland. Oh yeah. I mean, bear in mind, the SNP can't maintain enough sort of internal discipline to prevent... Well, we've seen this before with texting that kid. Just, hey, hey. Derek Mackay. The coolest guy. Well, the thing that's funny about the SNP is that they basically, they're like a UKIP-ass party that somehow became a mainstream party. But so like most of their politicians are like UKIP-ass guys. They're just crazy guys. They're just guys, yeah. Yeah. So like, yeah, dad, but he's like a minister.

Yeah. So I want to talk about Hartlepool for a little bit. Mainly the fact that it's looking like there might be what, the third time in history that government's going to like lose a by-election in this kind of a year and a year after being elected. Very funny to me, but still. Yeah. It doesn't matter, but it's very funny to me. Largely because the candidate for Hartlepool was an MP that lost his seat nearby in 2019. So they were like, look, we don't, we can't make anyone new an MP. We have to pick someone who was already an MP. It's like a one-in-one-out thing.

They can't pick any new people until they get everyone who lost their seats back. Yeah. Everybody has to get the job back. Yeah. Basically the phony, baloney job we were talking about. But what I think is very funny is that this guy, Dr. Paul Williams, basically was taken on like a Potemkin village tour of Saudi Arabia in 2018. In 2018 taken into Saudi Arabia, this is three years. It's not like he went in like 2012 before MBS like took over in the war on Yemen, really stepped up cousins in a hotel.

Yeah. Before that, before like just stuck in rat marriage before Jamal, like Khashoggi or whatever. Like, no, this was well after all of that was happening. He was like when asked whether his perceptions of Saudi had changed after his state-sponsored visit, he was like, he said, I said that my previous notions have been blown out of the water. I've seen a modern progressive Saudi Arabia that has totally changed my view of this country. Awesome. Why don't you be the MP for me on the dipshit? Well, I mean, he basically is going to be, which is great. If there's one thing the people of Hartlepool really love, it's Wahhabist Islam.

That's right. I mean, like one thing I can understand is like how people like, especially how like dumb English guys would get very impressed with Saudi Arabia, considering that like outside, I mean, like Saudi Arabia is a weird place because so much of it is kind of just like desolate and boring. And then you've obviously like got Mecca, you know, which is kind of like very modernized, but still has the, which has the cool, but if you go to like places like Medina and like, I guess there are other places, like other kind of places in Saudi Arabia as well, like it's like basically, you know, they've kind of had the tourist push for a long time.

It's basically just like a big theme park, right? So in the same way that I think there's like a type of British guy gets, gets very impressed the first time they go to Florida because everything's so big. And like they've never kind of experienced that before. I think they probably get the same type of thing from Saudi Arabia as well. So he's like going, going to Saudi world. So he's, so he's come back and like, he's kind of thinking to himself that you'd like probably thinking to himself like, oh, this is such like a great place.

And they have so many things to do. There's like so many American fast food chains there. There's a water slide. Yeah. There's a, there's, there's a water slide. You can push this cool button on what appears to be like a really detailed video game where you play as like a bomber pilot. Yeah. So it's also like a good, so this is sort of labor's way of reassuring the country. Don't worry. If we're on the off chance, you decide to stop ritually humiliating us and just give us power instead. We're going to make sure that those paveway laser guided bombs

keep ending up in weddings. The whole like the whole like counter argument is that like actually the people of Hartlepool don't care about international affairs and they don't care about like the war in Yemen and everything. Okay. So why, why this guy? Why him? Because he's the only way, because he's got seniority and we've got to give him his old job back. Yeah. Well, are you anti worker all of a sudden? Is it senior union employee? That's right. Anyway, so I think that's very silly. I think also like, look, I don't like taking anything too seriously, but I think that if the northern, the only, the northern independence party like, yeah, if they can, if they can force labor to lose that

seat, then fine, that gives labor a challenge to its left. I mean, the other thing is the northern independence party, I agree, are a joke now, but then the the SNP were a joke in like, you know, like my lifetime, like in the nineties, even UKIP were a joke. I mean, not everything. And then they become an even worse joke, which is like, like a really bad idea that is now popular because we have such a paucity of ideas. Yeah. By putting your joke idea on the table, it will be there when like, we, you know, are grasping for ideas, having ruled out doing stuff like broadband communism. Yeah. So like, I'm broadly in support of them for that reason. Just because, yeah, fine. I mean,

I don't know, like I would just also like to see. I think what, what we have to do, and I'm, I'm pitching this to Milo now as, as like northern independence party skeptics. What we have to do is we have to embrace Russian foreign policy, which is we have to not say sincerely, oh, the northern independence party are good. But what we have to do is we have to post the crying, laughing emoji. We have to be like, oh yeah, the northern independence party fucking rule, crying, laughing emoji and just so a bit of discord just to like fuck around. Yeah. Okay. I can get on board with that. But no, I honestly think like, if you are going to vote in, in Hartlepool, I don't know how many listeners we have in Hartlepool, if you are going to vote there,

you might as well vote for the northern independence party because like I said, it would be very funny if the northern independence party is the thing that forces labor to lose. And the only way that that can happen is if they get votes. So that's the only, the only endorsement I will be making thus far for that reason. We will be making another endorsement. I will be making another endorsement. This is not an official TF endorsement. This is just a Riley endorsement. Look, I want to get to a real topic today, which is a man who's a favorite of mine. So let's talk about the London mayoral elections.

So this is going to be coming out two days before the elections happen themselves. So let's just talk about the candidates. Sadiq Khan, who cares? Boring. My dad was a bus driver. There is no credible opposition to me. All of the worst people in the world want to murder me all the time, because I do like ineffectual social democracy. Not even ineffectual social democracy. Just like not nuking certain parts of the city. I have a job that doesn't really have that much political power.

And for this, like because I'm the most prominent Muslim politician in Britain and like in the Labour Party, it makes a bunch of people extremely furious. And now I have to have 24-7 police protection. That guy? Well, I'm surprised that British people are weird about the most prominent Muslim politician. Yeah. But policy terms, his main thing is more of the same, but more cops. Okay. Sean Bailey. Basically, the Tories realize London probably isn't where they should send their best. So Bailey should be understood in the same way as any Tory candidate for like Liverpool in as much as he is the C team. His candidacy is largely for the benefit of

people outside London. So I would disagree only in the sense that I think that what's happening, and you can tell with like Sean Bailey's kind of promotional videos, that he's the candidate for Greater London, right? And like, you know, to understand like the London mayor election, I think you do have to understand that like in a London, which is often what's talked about when we speak about like issues to London is very, very different to areas like Greater London, where I live. Well, like Hussain and I are in on this because we both are familiar with like the existence of Bromley, of fucking Bromley, the London borough of Bromley. Yes. Yeah. Sean Bailey speaks for Chiseless. I mean, exactly. Yeah. Like the London borough of Bexley,

right? Where like Sean Bailey will kind of win because Conservatives have won the London mayor election in this area, like since kind of since its conception, right? But like what's happened here is that like, I think Vitori is like, no, that they aren't going to like they had no shot with Sadiq Khan against Sadiq Khan anyway. So what they're actually doing is trying to kind of like integrate the London mayor election into this like ongoing culture war, which is why like so much of Sean Bailey's policies are kind of rooted around things like driving into the city. And like his kind of only his sort of like flagship policy, I think, is like beyond kind of like a lukewarm kind of distaste for like LTNs, which I don't think is quite like sincere anyway, is the idea

that it costs too much to drive from Greater London into Inner London. And he used like this campaign video of him driving into like Trafalgar Square, to which like people kind of responded like, who the fuck drives into Trafalgar Square? Like who? Not the point, right? It's a place Trafalgar Square is somewhere that you can if you want to drive into like the kind of parochialism. He's I mean, yeah, like it's essentially like opening up the manifesto and the soul sentence in there and like 140 point font is I'm going to stop BLM from renaming the Churchill Theatre in Bromley. Actually, on the subject of Greater London heads, I bought my car from a guy in Romford. So if we want to take the temperature of people in Bromford, he actually brought

up Sadiq Khan to me and said that he would not be voting for Sadiq Khan and then proceeded to describe for about 10 minutes an incredibly like niche and interneesine planning dispute his wife was having with a commercial property that she owned. And that was why he would not be voting for Sadiq Khan. He's going to turn the commercial building that the council keeps telling me I need to get like fire protection. So he's going to turn it into a mosque. But yeah, basically the kind of like the kind of like short text about Sean Bailey is that he's like talking to people who own multiple properties and people who own cars. Yeah, I think it's also true though. Six people. I think it's also true that he's talking to people who don't live in London because a big

part of the Tories appeal and like, you know, the bits of the bits of England that are new to them is being like, oh, all of those like gay, anti-corbanistas in London, we're going to trigger them all together. And so Sean Bailey is a bit of also like a trigger the Libs candidate as well. So I could see that all coming together. Was he proposing like custodial sentences for cocaine, possession or something mad like that? Just various mad things. He was also proposing that like the homeless should save up 5,000 pounds for a deposit. Also, if I'm remembering correctly, more cops. Yeah, more cops, way more cops. You wanted more more cops than Sadiq Khan wanted more cops. The Tories these days are usually less cops. They're usually like, we can't afford cops.

We also have a count bin face, which I hate because it's the Tui British nonsense that makes this country fucking unbearable. What's his position on cops? Does he want more of them? He probably has like a Tui way of saying like his one of his main policies is that he wants to rename London Bridge after Phoebe Waller Bridge thereby leaving the name unchanged. Awful. Oh, I really hate that. That's really upsetting to me. I thought he was a different kind of cringe to that, but no. Nope. Sorry. Same kind. Annoying. I'm sure he also wants more cops. We have Lawrence Fox, who we've discussed enough on this show, so won't go through into him too much detail, whose main thing is just like culture war. I wasn't able to easily

find a manifesto even when I searched Lawrence Fox manifesto on Google. Well, there's this video that I saw of Lawrence Fox when he visited Drumroll, please, Bromley, and he set his camp outside of the Glade Shopping Centre, which is only relevant to Alice and me in terms of what it is. The entrance of the Glades in Bromley is the fucking hell mouth for London. All darkness emanates from the entrance to the Glades Shopping Centre. This was one of the campaigns where he was talking about policies. There's a two-hour video that he's uploaded where he's kind of meeting people. It's remarkable how many people... Two things were very instructive. It's remarkable how many people came up to him

and just started talking about their Twitter accounts and how they were banned or restricted on Twitter almost immediately. For things like... And just the classical stuff like, oh, yeah, I just said that I respect adult human females and my Twitter account got rejected. And Lawrence Fox has to stand there watching this insane person talk about how much they hate Twitter and being... What do you mean it has to? I think the word here is gets to, right? And then there's the other part where people are trying to talk to Lawrence Fox about things that they feel are problems in their city, right? Whether that's kind of like LTNs or whether... I think in the case of this Bromley video, it was something to do again with construction,

construction obstructions or something like that and making it difficult to drive around. To which Lawrence Fox is kind of like... You can see that he's struggling for an answer to this problem, right? It's quite remarkable how he listened to this. And then he kind of goes on to, oh, this is because Sadiq Khan is too busy doing virtue signalling for BLM instead of caring about ordinary Londoners. And then he circles right back to Twitter, right? So all his stuff is literally like a grievance over the fact that like, you know, he's mad at Twitter for supposedly censoring him and his friends. But of the two posting candidates, he is the soy one. He is the shitty lame one, crunch. That is right. He's the bad post. And we're going to talk about the good

posting candidate. What I do respect about Lawrence Fox is how chaotic all of this rebrand of his has been. And like some of the... Like you look at someone like Ben Shapiro, right? Who like does the culture war thing, but he's got a strategy, right? Like straight Ben Shapiro, he picks his battles and he knows what's going to like engage his audience. His brand is like he's on top of it, right? Lawrence Fox is a pathologically divorced man. Yeah, he's in way over his head. Like he doesn't even know. He's there like, a Shapiro would be at home talking with the nutters of Bromley. Whereas like, Lawrence Fox is just like a big posh guy who's like doing this as a bit, essentially,

and his a bit has gone out of hand. I think Lawrence Fox genuinely believes it. I think he just, he's sort of mad and kind of thought being mad would carry him further than it has. But we've talked about Lawrence Fox too much on this podcast already over the course of the last year. He also wants more police. Yeah. Also wants more police. Sean Berry, Green Party, more police also. I'm just testing a theme. Every police officer gets a special crystal in their hat that encourages healing and redistributive justice. The Greens is so funny to me because like they're sort of left-wing, but also then they'll be like, yeah, well, we need more police because otherwise who's going to issue you with a 5,000 pound fine

when you put the wrong thing in the recycling? If Lawrence Fox is the entrance to the Glades in Bromley, then the Green Party are like shop selling driftwood reclaimed picture frames in Delage Village. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And also like the, let's say, one of those lively police screaming things outside that drives off teenagers. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. So Sean Berry, Green Party, more cops, who cares? The only person I'm interested in talking about at length, the only one, the only candidate who could earn our vote, the London real parties, Brian Rose, all the other parties. He's the coolest guy. Yeah. He's the coolest one, for sure. By far. Now we have, we are all on TF, very familiar with the work of Brian Rose.

We are. We've read all of his books. A guy you could basically just describe as Joe Rogan, but with like a reskin with Wolf of Wall Street DLC. Like he's the same thing. He's an old guy. Perfect idiots. Yes. He is. He's into all of that stuff. Perfect moron. He is God's perfect moron. He loves Ayahuasca, which is great. He fully like, we'll see when we talk about his platform, which we will in detail, that he just, he cares about all the stuff that stupid people care about. He used to be a banker, right? Which is where he comes by the Wolf of Wall Street stuff. He also basically believes in certain kinds of magic.

Because that's the thing. He got into wellness YouTube, and so it's still on the same account. So the account that is now him driving a bus around challenging Sadiq Khan to debate him, you go back a couple of years, and it's like him getting taught masturbation techniques by a kung fu master. At rules. Yeah, it's very good. So it's like basically this guy- And we have watched those videos. We have watched all of them. We have watched Brian Rose be told how to jerk off more effectively. And be really into it. We made an MO out of it.

Yeah. So look, here's a little bit of stuff about Brian Rose. He also is like, don't get me wrong. He's a fucking insane person. He interviews David Ike and lots of people who are like, vaccines are fake. COVID's fake. We are comfortable in embracing him because we are certain he cannot win. He's used the word scandemic, I believe. I think he's interviewed people who have. He definitely said that London overreacted to the pandemic. Oh, very much so. Most of his platform is about that. So there are a few themes that come up again and again in his platform.

But one of my favorite ones is he wants to launch something called the Workout to Help Out program to encourage Londoners to get back to the gym. Dude's rock. Awesome. I want that because I want to see him lifting weights next to Rishi Shunak. He loves break dancing too. He's a jacked guy. He's huge muscular. And he has multiple videos of himself break dancing on this. He looks like a sort of Metal Gear Solid villain, Patrick Wyman.

Solidest snake, Mara London. He talks to many of the same people Joe Rogan does like Jocko Willink or Wim Hof. Wait, sorry. You just said some noises. I'll explain. Jocko Willink and Wim Hof? Yeah. One's the Navy Seal. The other's like an endurance ice water swimmer. I thought of this ice water swimmer, Wompty Dumpty Van Dom. Yeah. And one always tells the truth and one always lies.

That's right. But he also, yeah, like you said, he takes like jacking off lessons. He's drank his own piss twice. And one time he challenged Sadiq Khan to a swimming race, which was very funny. A very Byronian vibes. If he won't be confronted on his record, will he swim the Hellespont? So he's this American banker who's like 50 years old. He moved to London in the early 2000s for reasons. We'll explain.

He married a woman he met working at the Dolce & Gabbana store and then started a YouTube channel called London Real. London Real's mission statement. Wait, was he working at the Dolce & Gabbana store? No, she was. Oh, I see. He was in there buying one of his big suits. I guess so, yeah.

He was in there buying a huge suit. The suit game on this man, incredible. And I just say that like when I first saw him in his suit, it just reminds me of like first day of sixth form in like the grammar schools where you get to wear like a big boy suit for the first time. And it's always like, it's always like obnoxious with like the big tie, the big tie knot and stuff. It's that, but with the body of like an action figure.

Yes. He looks like he's in the anime courtroom show. I forget what that's called. He looks like Phoenix Wright. Yeah. So anyway, what I was going to say is I don't believe that anyone shops at the Dolce & Gabbana store. I feel like Dolce & Gabbana is a designer brand that people only purchase in TK Max.

I can't imagine anyone going like, yeah, I really want some Dolce & Gabbana. I'm just going to go and drop a grand at the Dolce & Gabbana store. Ryan Rose at Ice Cream. In 2002 though, when it was cooler. Anyway, so this is from an interview in I think Metro. So his parents divorced and he was seven quote, which freaked me out and taught me I had to be self-sufficient. The closest he came to an interest in politics

was writing a letter to Ronald Reagan as a child. My mom said I could do anything. So I wrote Reagan asking to meet. He replied only with a photo of him on a horse. You challenged him to a swimming race. It was code. It was code. Yeah.

All the details were there, Brian. You just needed to piece it together. What are the numbers mean, Brian Rose? I have speaking of horse. He then speaks about his experiences working as a banker in New York. He says, I'm too hard on myself and have high standards. In a place like New York, all sorts of drugs are there. Heroin became my drug of choice in my 20s,

but I snorted it because I wasn't a drug addict. That's how it works. Yeah, if you snorted it. That's actually how it works. I mean, look, this is not sort of impugn heroine users or anything like this. No, this is nice to make doing drugs uncool. Yeah.

Why is he trying to soft pedal the heroin thing? That's the coolest thing he's ever done. I would be leaning into that hard. Like, yeah, I was on heroin for like 10 years. It was awesome. While being a banker in the early 2000s. How do you be a banker on heroin? They're like, cocaine is an obvious choice for a banker.

Heroin strikes me as like, it's more of a like, I'm going to take a bath and maybe die kind of drug. It's more of a nighttime thing for him. Oh, okay. Anyways, that's the big off button. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I find really funny is he's like, oh, well, I wasn't a drug addict.

I just snorted it all the time and then had an overdose. Yeah. Which is again, a classic stupid guy opinion. Yeah, most people actually get addicted to heroin, but I was mentally strong enough to not do that. Yeah. So basically that's Brian Rose. He moves to London in the early 2000s to like, get clean off of heroin.

Because he wasn't a drug addict. No, but he did have to move to London to get clean off of heroin. Yeah. But not in a way that would imply that he was a drug addict. No, correct. Just in a way that was like, in any person would do. In another way that would imply. Yeah, it's the regular lifestyle change

where you have to stop taking heroin. Yeah. And then he talks about how his favorite thing about London is going to all the graveyards because he's a manic pixie dream idiot. Amazing. I want to go. I want to goth man.

He's the coolest fucking candidate in this race by a wide margin. By a very wide margin. So basically he also says that if we manage the underground better, then the whole system could look like Heathrow Terminal 5. Great. Cool.

Awesome. One big building. Well, I think like the really, I think he just really loves the tube station and Heathrow Terminal 5 and is like, damn, I wish they could all be like that. I wish it would all look like the mall. He also wants more cops, right?

Unfortunately, yes. Dolce and Gabbana in the tube. So I'm afraid the only reason we cannot give the official endorsement, the TF endorsement to Brian Rose, is that he does also want more cops. The difference between Brian Rose and the other mayor or candidates is that

while the other mayor or candidate simply want more cops, Brian Rose will be at the front line with them. He'll like do, he'll like do Jiu Jitsu on the criminals that they're chasing and film it for his YouTube channel. He's the most police abolitionist candidate because we don't have any candidates

who want to decrease the number of cops or even keep the number of cops the same. Brian Rose is the one who wants to increase at the least because he wants to increase it by one, him. No, so he does actually want to increase it, but I think about as many as Sean Bailey, which is a few thousand more than Sadiq Khan. The idea of like the Greens pumping more money

into the Met Police is so funny to me. Like a fucking electric police car doing donuts on a memorial to a woman they murdered, just being like, yeah, this is cool. The Greens didn't put a number on how many cops they want, but they were like, we need more cops as well. Everyone agrees on that.

Anyway, so let's talk about some of Brian Rose. Brian Rose also like is at the helm of a number of questionable businesses, like the London Real Business Academy, which you can pay several thousand. You learn about real business. Yeah, you can pay like over 8,000 pounds for access to the quote inner circle,

which is like a zoom call with Brian Rose. Cool. It's like dumb guy Scientology. Yeah, that's very fun. That's very fun. I love that. Scientology for Himbos, Elrond Himbo. Yeah, more or less. Let's talk about his policies on an individual basis.

The housing crisis. So he has one policy that keeps coming up again and again, which is to like build a bunch of houses on land owned by TFL, which is like above train tracks or around train tracks. Oh, people love living there. Yeah. Yeah. He also says he wants to build 5,000 houses by Christmas this year.

Yeah. What look when when when you 5000 guys, one house each, they each get like six months. So look, apparently like, and this is according to like London dot gov, right? TFL is a significant landowner owns like 5,700 acres of land. It's not just train tracks, but it's like related to trains and the development of the yards and stuff.

Like, yeah, I imagine most of it's not really suitable for residential housing. Quite a bit of it actually is sort of green fields. Like a lot of it is actually suitable for residential housing. Like it's this is not a crank platform. What's crank about it is that he's like, yeah, we're going to use a modular building technology to pre-build the houses out of like shipping containers. Yeah.

Yeah, boy. What is it with fucking shipping containers, man? Everyone loves modular houses. Because like the thing about like actual, like there are like really cool like modular prefab housing technologies, but like not using fucking shipping containers. Like they're all like, there are like people who can build a house for like 70 grand,

and it's like actually a nice house with like, and it's all made out of this like prefab stuff, but like not a fucking shipping containers are designed for that. But also like your solution being like, ah, we're going to use prefab housing, and that's going to solve the housing crisis. There's nothing bigger about this. No.

There's no problem with like tenants rights or rogue landlords. We're going to get a factory to build a bunch of houses and bring them over here, like all of those American companies that work so well. It's a classic dumb guy thing for why shipping containers, which is just like, ah, we don't have enough houses. What do we have a loss of? What do I look out of my window and happen to see?

Ah, shipping containers, those are cheap. He works with Frank Sabotka. Yeah, exactly. Ryan Rose went to Shoreditch Box Park and was like, neat. Cool. He is who Shoreditch is for like every single venue in Shoreditch. He's like, oh man, I'm so spoiled for choice. The ball pit bar, the fake prison bar,

the box park made out of shipping containers, the crazy golf where it's epic and you get drunk. Oh man, cool boy. How to choose? What I think is very funny also, here's so many fun policies that we're going to talk about. Crime, lots more cops, but digitized.

I think I'm going to say lots more crime. Lots more crime. That'd be cool. Lots more cops, but they'll be digitized cops. I looked into what that means, and unfortunately it just means that he wants the cops to have paperless offices. The cop chain.

Paperless offices, eh? Just about 5,000 more new freshly trained cops all bumbling around wearing Oculus Rift's bang into each other. Oh, he would love that, because if there's one thing that reading this manifesto of Ryan Rose's I've learned, it's that Ryan Rose loves made-up technology that doesn't exist. What's that way?

It would actually be cool though, if he would put all of London's cops into a kind of like matrix where they're just in a virtual reality where there's only other cops. The cop dimension. And then we're just bumping into each other, going like, were you the gentleman saying to himself about the lady there

with whom you were conversing earlier? Yeah, that's right. So, the other thing is very funny, is he was like, I've identified new ways of funding additional police, but your mayor also needs to identify additional ways of funding community support. That's where my Companies for Communities plan comes in.

Oh, wow. Oh, hell yeah. Companies prefer to operate in safe environments, and CEOs as well want staff to be based in HQ that's a safe place to live and work. We're going to give Facebook a gun. No, we're going to make Facebook have a Facebook-owned community center. Yeah.

So, because that's the other thing, most of the candidates have in fact recognized that the reason that crime in London is going up in not that much, but is going up year on year, as opposed to every other major Western city where it's been going down for the last 30, is essentially that we have stripped out all of the bits of society that make it legal to exist unless you are rich.

And so, effectively, everyone has said this, it's just Brian Rose is like, what if we got a Greensill to sponsor a youth center? Essentially. Very funny. So, he says, you will basically, yeah. So, community services provided by Oscar Meyer.

So, yeah, what is the atomic weight of bologna deliciousness? That's right. People have got to know that stuff, you know. Here's my favorite of his platform, Planks though, which is digital. So, number one, he wants to treat the Internet as an infrastructural human right, offering free high-speed broadband for all citizens. Broadband communism.

Great policy. But also, on a global scale, freedom of speech is threatened by companies as much as governments. The digital mega corporations are happy to make billions from positions of power, but are also increasingly happy to abuse that power to censor digital communications. Acting as judge, jury, and executioner, they make their own rules, but what we can and cannot say, violating human rights based on corporate policies on a seemingly daily basis.

That is why I, as the mayor of Greater London, will fight for digital freedom of speech and take the Silicon Valley technology companies to task. That's just saying the word. By saying the word, by saying the word. I'm very sorry that the video of the Chinese man jacking you off was too hot for YouTube. I'm very sorry it got deleted. He's personally just mad that they took down his video of David Ike being like,

yeah, coronavirus is fake. Don't get a vaccine. Which is cool. Coronavirus is fake. I'm like everything else David Ike thinks. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, the lizard people stuff, that's been proven. Yeah, all of that proven. The coronavirus stuff, really out on a limb here, David. That's contentious, Ike.

I'm not sure I can follow you onto this. Have you seen lizards and people in the same room? Anyway, I just think it's very amusing to me that this guy is essentially running on a platform of the mayor of London will provide more likes to nutjobs on YouTube and Twitter. More faves. We're going to get more faves for weird idiots who like ayahuasca. Not even necessarily more faves for conservatives, just more faves for cranks and weirdos. That's something I don't get about Brian Rose actually is like,

why he's interviewing someone like David Ike? Because he doesn't strike me as nuts enough for David Ike? No, Brian Rose is nuts enough for David Ike, for sure. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, very much so. I thought he was more garden variety. Well, no, he's like, he has the exact same, everything about him is the same as Joe Rogan.

Yeah, Joe Rogan is not nuts enough for David Ike. They're both freedom of speech, they're both free speech extremists, which means that they're like, on principle, want to interview David Ike because it's a free speech thing. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. So it's also like, Rose has already come out being like, yeah, get the vaccine if you want to, but I'm too healthy for it, which is again, an identical thing that Rogan has said. Too much of a chad for the vaccine.

Effectively. Let's see, the other funny thing he's proposed is about transport. So the only actual real proposal he has about transport is to scrap the congestion charge and get rid of cyclolanes, boring. Get rid of cyclolanes is such a funny policy. I mean, yeah, it's just standard stuff, because it's policies for car YouTube guys. You know, just guys who are just yelling at their phone in their car. Like that's who he is for.

Yeah, like for you, Miles. That's right. So he says, one, the coveted Milo. So he says, new revenues, dreams will be identified, including further advertising opportunities for TFL, blah, blah, blah. But I will also launch a scheme building a work already carried out in Europe. Look at the feasibility of introducing wireless charging for cars that are currently driving. So we get a, we're electrifying the road.

No, we're electrifying the air. We're electrifying the air, Alex. Everyone in London gets terminal cancer in the first three months of Brian Rose's term. Yeah, but they can do like an ice swim and then drink a lemongrass thing and they'll be fine. He's trying to breed the X-Men in London by electrifying the air. That's right. Join me. Yeah, very, very funny.

Just a silly, silly man. Anyway, the crown and the jewel of his policies is something called the Great Celebration, which he basically says is the same as the Great Exhibition. So he wants to do like a, like a great exhibition. Like a world's fair thing. Yeah. Again, a classic stupid thing to want. Awesome. They're going to have Stevenson's rocket. I want to be distracted with some jangling keys.

Yes. But to be fair again, it's like, you know, it's, he's just being like, yeah, we're going to have a 31 day party, bring 20 million people into the city in August. Free music festivals, streamlining, licensing restrictions, food fairs throughout London. Like he just forgets what the mayor is able to do. It's just like, we're going to set up a, we're going to set up a vegan protein shake stall with our own Neutropics as the mayor's office. That would be cool, actually. Yeah. I'd love to get the Brian Rose Neutropics.

I like, I want to have that brain. I love the idea of like, because Sissy, because like the mayor has to move out of Sissy Hall like pretty soon, that Brian Rose has to size up his office and like a muscle gym. Yeah. That's right. Workout to help out. That's right. Anyway, he's very, the only thing standing in the way of Brian Rose, this, this precious moron, this beautiful idiot, getting the official TF endorsement is his position on police.

So if you want that endorsement, Rose, just take the police out of the manifesto, then we're all yours. I like that Brian Rose is just hanging out at the gym, talking to the only voters who matter, meet heads. Like if you count the votes numerically, Brian Rose doesn't win, but if you count his supporters by weight, he wins easily. Pure muscle. No, you lean body weight as well. He's like the Soviet Lamp Factory. You have to account, you have to count lean body weight. Muscle mass.

Yeah. Muscle mass. He wins handily. Anyway, I want to talk about one last item before we move on and go about our days. This is our new range of Neutropics. That's right. No, it's, we're doing a Bluetooth ad read. Oh, nice. So this is all about vaccines and vaccine distribution and good old friend of the pod, Billy Gates, William Gates, the guy who's giving us all the 5G, the guy who did that. So yeah, he's the, for those of you who don't know, Bill Gates invented going on the computer

in the in the second half of the 20th century. And for that, we do thank him. And for that, he gets to decide what of the world's poorest people, which one of them get vaccines, how many vaccines do they get and which vaccine do they get, which when not a lot, not many in whichever one's cheaper. But when you, we all voted for him to have this position when we all bought those computers that, you know, you didn't have any choice but to buy. When we made him the president of logging on. That's right. Yeah, that's right.

He also that those responsibilities are you get to be the global public health czar for your entire life. That's what happens when you invent going on the computer. Yeah, she's an archaic rule. It's actually the same one that governs the prime minister redecorating their apartment. So look, this is a quote from him recently in a salon, but I believe salon was writing about an interview he did on TV, basically saying, look, look, buddy, pal, look, we have to keep all of the vaccine formulas patented and have to keep them all secret that no one knows what they are. It's like a KFC thing. Yeah, yeah. Well, because he says, look, it's,

if we break the IP, then no one will be, no one will be induced to save humanity by the profit motive effectively. And also, but what they're trying to give away the the Oxford vaccine before like he talked them into partnering with my AstraZeneca. But yes, yeah, that's right. AstraZeneca or whatever. He also is, yeah, that's true. That comes up later. But he also says, look, buddy, even there are only so many vaccine factories in the world and people are very serious. We should stop calling me buddy. To save the vaccines. Find a really bad Canadian Bill Gates. And so moving something that has never been done, moving a vaccine safe from a Johnson

and Johnson factory into a factory in India is novel. Where lots of the vaccines are made anyway. Well, yeah, but they have to be made in factories owned by Johnson and Johnson. Otherwise, it's, you know, who knows what's going on then? Who knows what will happen to let them get their hands on it. So he says, it's novel. It's only because our grants and expertise that can happen at all. So you know what else is novel, Bill Gates? The novel Corona. Hey, hey, so shoot us out. Effectively, right? AstraZeneca manufactures their COVID-19 vaccine in India and then gets shipped out of India. And apparently none of the other factories in India, according to Bill Gates, are really suitable for making it. So we should just trust

him, I suppose. Yeah. And also, they're all making stuff like a thumbs up or and none of them could be made suitable either. Oh, no. If you ask why none of the factories are so even if even if you accept the premise that none of the factories are suitable, this is not the time to ask why that is. Of course. Yeah, absolutely. No, no, no. Root. Root causes. Come on. Yeah. We have to make sure that the world's richest get all of the vaccines. Well, the world's poorest are all dead of the novel coronavirus because through the and again, we're going to talk about this fucking insane vaccine distribution program that he is way too deeply involved in. They're only going to get 20 percent of the vaccines they need for

the next couple of years. 20 is the same as 100, right? Yeah. Well, the thing is that the British government was so busy with railways that they forgot about vaccine infrastructure and then India got independence and then it was too late. That's right. So this kind of thing of like vaccinating parts of the population at a delayed level. That's pretty much what you want to do if you want to cause a virus to mutate to resist a vaccine. Yes. Essentially, if you wanted to say what is the one number one threat to like, I don't know, humanity as a species based on the novel coronavirus, it is intellectual property laws governing vaccines. Cool. Don't do what Donnie don't. Yeah. If they wanted to say there is one, I don't know, cartoon super villain in

the world right now, it is Bill Gates basically because he's giving us all the 5G coronavirus. Well, he's giving us all the novel coronavirus, but he's taking a very roundabout route where he's allowing a new where basically by his, you know, despicable, just despicable greed and grasping nature is deciding, no, what we're going to do is we are going to, while allowing like a lot of people in the global south to die unnecessarily, we're also going to let a new, a more novel coronavirus mutate in those populations and then sweep over the rest of the world, allowing the pharmaceutical companies to make more of a profit from making more vaccines. It's genius. Booster shots every year. Yeah, that's great. So this is cool. I find it very funny

that anti-vaxxers like get very, very mad about Bill Gates because they're like, oh, he's, you know, he has no regard for human life. Correct. True. Why do you think this? Oh, it's because the vaccine is going to turn me gay or whatever. And it's like, or like, it's not going to work or it's going to like why you should have it fucking spy on me or whatever. It's like, no, no, no, you're not the person who gets exploited in this relationship. Exactly. Yeah. I also, I really resent being like having like the world come to an end because of a guy with a lid that shocking. It's so, that man has refused to update his haircut for like 40 years. Oh yeah. He looks fucking awful. He looks like his mom did it with a fucking pudding base and

like, what is going on with that? That's right. The man is a billionaire. He looks like dead, Mr. Rogers. Riley spends more on haircuts than the MF does 100%. Like a lot more. That's why Riley's poorer. That's right. Maybe if I didn't spend money on all those haircuts. You saved that money on haircuts. Yeah. You would be a multi-billion. That's right. Anyway, this view, the view that Bill Gates takes, right, is that it's important that these formulas don't get shared because if they got shared, the vaccines would be made in improper factories, which is also just a fucking lie. Wrong. Not true. Yeah. You could, you might be able to torrent a vaccine.

Also, aren't most vaccines quite easy to make? Yeah. Well, the vaccine codes now are on GitHub. And it's also tech, it's GitHub. It's also technology transfer that's an issue there, which again, Bill Gates has decided for some fucking reason, he gets to decide that how that all works. He's just put himself in charge of it. Yeah. Because he invented being on the computer. Yeah. He invented Microsoft monster truck demo 2002 that came with the compact Presario. How would you have made a vaccine without Minesweeper?

What do you think the scientists would do it in their downtime? This view is also echoed, of course, by the EU and UK. So the EU said, there is no evidence that IP rights in any way hamper access to COVID-19 related medicines and technologies. Again, wrong. I love it when they just say shit that's obviously not true to even the most casual observer, but just try and say it confidently enough that no one will question it. Like, well, why would intellectual property rise hamper people's access to vaccines? Like, because that's directly what they're designed to do.

Our intellectual property rise is designed to hamper your access to things. That's literally the point of intellectual property. And also like, okay, but if that's not the main barrier, why not remove it anyway? Yeah. Because we don't feel like it. Yeah. That's right. Well, the UK government basically actually said that without strict IP rules, no new products might be made. Because, you know, also the drug companies, they spent tons of drug company money developing these vaccines, right? It was them.

No taxpayers ever contributed. No taxpayer funding. Yeah. I like to think about the profit motive and like big pharma when I remember the sort of ongoing antibiotic resistance crisis barreling towards us. The next thing coming down the pipe, purely because there's no, like, it is like, oh, we can't make enough money doing it, like discovering new antibiotics. Also, for example, right, like it's not as though there are tons and tons of examples of IP specifically getting in the way of countries, for example, like South Africa, developing, for example, antibody therapeutics, such as, for example,

Regeneron that was being stood in the way by, for example, Eli Lilly, for example, just one example. I simply, this stuff, this stuff, yeets me all the way to the top left of the political compass where it's like, first of all, we fund most of this shit happening anyway. Second of all, we have tanks and you don't. Third of all, fuck you. We're just taking your shit. Like there is no reason for Pfizer or Eli Lilly or like whoever the fuck else to exist as an independent thing that is not beholden to a state. Pfizer, in fact, has been protecting a patent, basically blocking the creation of a pneumococcal vaccine for and by India. So, yeah, tanks, tanks, park the fucking M1 Abrams on their lawn

and make them give up the nationalize the vaccine that nationalize like literally all the drug makers was got Nate was sending him down there in a challenge or two. He's going down to the AstraZeneca offices. If you're supposed to get vaccines, if you're a poorer country through this facility called Covax, now Covax, how it works is it uses a it's this thing where it's like, okay, we're going to pool procurement for vaccines globally. And if you're a rich country, what you do is instead of funding vaccine vaccines individually from individual companies, you fund us and then we fund a whole portfolio of vaccines and then we share them out kind of equitably. But that's obviously not what happened. All the rich companies, they paid into Covax,

but also made a bunch of bilateral deals that are technically not allowed under Covax with big multinational pharmaceutical companies to buy all the vaccines, which of course take priority over their delivery to Covax. And because Covax is a creature of rich countries and Bill Gates, specifically Bill Gates, Covax is part of like a tripartite cooperation, right? Where that's for some reason, right? They're like their COVID-19 tools accelerator is co-led by also the Coalition for Epidemic Preparedness Innovations and GAVI, the Vaccine Alliance, and also the World Health Organization. How many of those organizations do you think are led by or direct or have Bill Gates on their board of directors?

I'll be pessimistic. I'll say one, two, two out of the three of those organizations are basically Bill Gates. Two of those guys are just Bill Gates in different hats. Just Bill Gates in different hats deciding as the capacity as the guy who invented going on the computer, how many people live and die in India and South Africa and other countries that are not exactly high on the pecking order for vaccine procurement? How do when Clippy gets involved in my vaccine procurement? Yeah, the guy who invented Clippy. The guy who invented Clippy is going to be like, okay, here's a global fucking trolley problem. Here's how we're going to pull the lever.

Yeah, that's right. The guy who invented Clippy. It's infuriating. What we're doing is multi-rail drifting. Basically, right. A lot of the next sort of quotes are from a New Republic article entitled How Bill Gates Impeded Global Access to COVID Vaccines by Alexander Zaitchik. It very much does what it says on the tin. This accelerator, right, is a public-private partnership based on charity and industry enticements. Crucially, and in contrast to the other accelerator that's about

creating and sharing a formula, this accelerator, which is now the main one, basically says, no, we will never share the formula. What we'll do is when rich countries buy a vaccine, we're going to take a little bit of that money and then buy a vaccine for a poorer country. One for me, one for you. Well, no, when you buy an avian and they want for you. Well, it's like Todd's, it's like Todd's shoes or the espadrilles. They'll buy a pair for a person. You buy an avian and they hose down a villager in Africa somewhere. Yeah, that kind of thing. That really tickled Riley, that one.

We just want to get hosed down with avian. Some shoe company or some sports company does that. Like when you buy, okay. Yeah, Todd does it from The Simpsons. Mr. Todd. Yeah. Well, what I also find miraculous about this is that, again, like, I just, the West is so remarkable because like they are doing like real late Roman Empire shit in the sense that like they can sort of see that it's all collapsing, but they're doing nothing to preserve it. Like every opportunity they have to get, score a big win on the board for the West, like

the West could swoop in and vaccinate everyone, which they literally could if they devoted resources to it. Right. But they're just going to like, they're just going to let China do that. And that's like, that's totally something that China will do because they want the PR. Then why about it happening? Because they'll be like, oh, this is China doing like duplicitous vaccine diplomacy or whatever. It's like, but they were going to die. They're like a similar situation, a similar situation happened with like the Cuban doctors, right? Yeah. Like the people that are really mad, but like Cuban doctors are sort of coming to the West to help like with the coronavirus. During the early days of the coronavirus, because the

NHS was overwhelmed. And if you kind of gave any kind of praise to them, you would get shouted at by like various people with like, I'm not going to say they have Ukraine flags in their emojis. Adele Castro took my family's plantation in Donetsk. Yeah. Yeah. So effectively, right? Yeah. It's like this, there is this thing where it's like, it's like every time the West has ever swooped in under more or less any circumstances, it has always been a massive humanitarian catastrophe. So I don't put it past us being like, we're going to deliver the vaccines on the basis of like a lend-lease system, but with paveway force. Yeah. Well, the way we're doing it is the most humanitarian disaster as possible,

which is like by not doing it and actively hampering attempts to do it. And doing it just enough to like build up resistance. Yeah, absolutely. It's just, it's Chris Morris again. It's just, this is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is, Gates says on IP, it's a classic situation in global health where advocates all of a sudden want the vaccine for zero dollars right away. Yes, because we funded it for taxpayer money. You fucking asshole. Incredible. Also because it's a public good. It's like, wait, hang on a second, hang on a second. You're just going to want to let the novel coronavirus

just be a fact of life for a long time because of some ideological commitment to IP. Romantic naive socialist. Do you simply want to not die for zero dollars? Something I've been thinking about a lot is kind of, you know, this whole idea about like how no one really, like in mainstream culture, like no one can really kind of describe what a public good should be, right? And I think, and I genuinely think that like the kind of decade or austerity really instilled this idea, but like everything is up for sale and like nothing should be a public good, which is why you end up like even, you know, even when we're like circling back to British

politics, like the current Labour Party being unable to kind of explain what should, like, what an NHS or what like public health care should look like or what it should be. It's often just kind of like, we don't, you know, we don't want the conservatives to kind of privatize VNHS. So can you kind of like bring in more consultants with some more degree of like parliamentary oversight, right? And I think, I don't know. And I think that kind of like expands other things as well. So we've gotten to this point where no one really even kind of like day-to-day processes of like how to live a life and what kind of we owe each other as a society, like that sort of been banished as well and kind of been commodified to the point where we don't actually

know what a public good is and why like something as obvious as like if you have a global pandemic, which is halted and really kind of impacted the global economy, then having global access to vaccines is sort of important, even if you're kind of making the capitalistic argument. And the fact that that can't be advanced really goes to show like how kind of this period of austerity has really kind of like impacted even the kind of like the psyche of what public goods in a society should be. Yeah, the like horizons of the possible have like and it's only all of what it can do is essentially incoherent. It's like market, it's like Mark Fisher uses the term market Stalinism. This is market Lysenkoism, essentially.

Yeah, well, it's got shades of the climate change thing about it all over again, where it's kind of like this thing where like the the we have to not do total capital. Yeah. Like the view of yeah, like what can be done or what should be done is so rapidly short term, like so extremely short term to the point where they're barely looking beyond the end of their own nose, where like a bunch of like big companies will be like, well, we can like safeguard this thing that we want today, which is intellectual property for like five minutes. And in return, we might oh, destroy the human race. Oh, wait, hang on, am I in that fuck? Oh, thank goodness. No, I'm an alien replicon from beyond the moon. Thank goodness.

They watched the David David Ike video at Pfizer and they were like, oh, that's us. Well, this is also where like Elon Musk kind of Mars stuff comes in, right? And his whole and his whole notion of like, we have to be like an interplanetary species. What he's really speaking about is like rich people having like dual planetary like citizenship to ensure that when humanity is fucked, like the people who were able to kind of like pave their way can continue to do so on his weird privatized like Mars colony, where he and Bill Gates have like an agreement on like the types of vax, all of the types of kind of like medical equipment that can be used on Mars when the settlements kind of like occurring, right? Instead of dying on Earth,

they can go and die on Mars. And I say they are welcome to indeed. Anyway, I know we've been going for a little bit long. So I think it's about that time that we say thank you very much for listening to this, this yet another episode of all TF. I'm off to go do weights with Brian. Yeah, we're all going to go work out to help out with Brian Rose shirtless leaflet for Brian. We're all going to do that. We're going to break dance that he does. We're all challenging people to swim races. We're all learning how to jack off properly. That's right. And we're all drinking each other's pee. Yeah, that's right. Fantastic. We stored it up in January. What a guy. Anyway, so thank you so much for listening. Don't forget there is a Patreon five bucks a month,

second episode per week. It is a good deal. That's where you get not the free one. That's where you can hear the sexy voice, which we're not going to do because we have to keep it for that because this is the free one. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. All right. So don't forget to do that. Don't forget to on May 6th, watch a movie, go for a drink, maybe take a walk. Yeah. There are a whole lot of fun things you can do. Go learn to jack off. Yeah. Celebrate International Worker's Day five days a week. How about this? Do everything. Make this your alphabetical order day and everything you're going to do. Message me to be like, hey, Alice, you're turning 30 tomorrow. How's it going? Yes, Alice, some videos for the YouTube zone. You should do

everything in alphabetical order that day, I think. Is it a Thursday? They often do elections on Thursday, don't they? If it's a Thursday, maybe tune in to the YouTube zone. Yeah, turn into the YouTube zone. Find some videos for the YouTube zone. Do any number of things. It's going to be my birthday stream because the day after that is my birthday. That's right. At midnight, we will sound the birthday horn. Finally. Yeah. If you want to hear the birthday horn, stand on the birthday horn. That is right. All right. We will speak to you all in the bonus later. Bye-bye.