TRASHFUTURE - PREVIEW: Cell Block IPA ft. David Banks

Episode Date: May 4, 2023

Riley, Milo (now returned from holiday), Alice, and special guest David Banks (author of The City Authentic, out now on University of California Press) get into the relationship between real estate capital and the municipal deep state to answer the question: how the same twee aesthetic took over medium sized cities in the US, UK, Australia, and elsewhere, and why has BrewDog set itself up in the prison where they held Ned Kelly? Get the full episode on Patreon!   If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture   *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We’re touring the Midlands, the North, and (one city in) Scotland in May! We’ll be in Birmingham on May 14, Leeds on May 15, Manchester on May 16, and Glasgow on May 21. Tickets are available here: https://www.trashfuture.co.uk/events   *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows and check out a recording of Milo’s special PINDOS available on YouTube here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRI7uwTPJtg *ROME ALERT* Milo and Phoebe have teamed up with friend of the show Patrick Wyman to finally put their classical education to good use and discuss every episode of season 1 of Rome. You can download the 12 episode series from Bandcamp here (1st episode is free): https://romepodcast.bandcamp.com/album/rome-season-1 Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Uh, Liz Truss refuses to pay 12,000 pounds in missing bath robes, Rao. No, I love her. What a PM. I love her. I continue to, I continue to sport the, the, this Prime Minister, who I still recognize as the Prime Minister. Yes. Yeah.

You and me. She's like the Avignon Pope. Yeah. You and me, David, we're like the sort of like Japanese army holdouts, so I'm like, uh, yeah, I'm like Saipan or something where we're like, no, she's still the Prime Minister. She is Prime Minister of all of our hearts. That's right. She's the Prime Minister of an extraordinary Rao.

After the government demanded she pay for more than 12,000 pounds following the disappearance of items, including bathrooms and slippers from Chieveting, her grace and favor country home. And this came after traces of cocaine were found in rooms where she was known to be hosting guests. Is it illegal? Is it illegal to have a bit of a party? I mean, it's like.

It's like informality. Yeah. That's right. She learned that like, uh, the university sort of like slightly above and to the right of Oxford. I, the thing about Liz Truss is right, she's a disaster and I love her. I genuinely do because what she did was she showed up when here's my day collar, the Queen's dead by the way, the economies fucked, uh, send me the bill for all of the shit that

I've ruined. And it's not a go, it's not going to be a small bill. I, and like genuinely to like, essentially use, uh, like a government fancy house, like a grace and favor residence, like a fancy hotel, but then to use it in the way that you would if you were going to a fancy hotel and you were that kind of person, incredible. Because I don't, some of you will say, Oh, she just stole those bathrooms. She just like me. Right.

No, that's not what it is. That's not what happened. Those bathrooms were soiled. Those bathrooms have seen ungodly things. If I know Liz Truss and I know Liz Truss in my soul, what happened to those bathrooms is they were double bagged, binned, not in a hotel bin, in like a street bin so that you don't like have to share the shame of that. And then you just tell the hotel, no, there were no bathrooms.

And then you don't complain. Honestly, they were more soiled than the, than the bathrooms they give out in the Burkine toilets. Yes. Yeah. And covered in more drugs. I want to know what, so it's a 12,000 pound bill and the bathrobes were, I think 120 each. How many bathrobes?

That's an expensive bathrobe too. Did she take a Coke poop on? Oh, all, all, I mean, like they were shipping in like sort of pallets of them on forklifts. I think that's, that's about a, there's bathrobes and slippers, but let's assume about a hundred bathrobes, right? Yeah. That's a lot of bathrobes. But that's, that's the size of like her entire entourage having like a kind of sex party.

Basically. The bottoming when you have IBS is no joke. And sometimes it leads you to some situations, it happens to the best of us. But like, I just love this for her so much. If we're going to have someone who is like this cavalier about everything, about public resources and stuff, at least, at least let them ruin, disboil, like desanctify like five bathrobes a night. Yeah.

That's all I ask. Yeah. But he also distrusts his bathrooms are buried somewhere with a bunch of like weird, spiky architecture left on top and there's a sign that's like, nothing of value is here. This is not a place of honor. Well, all I want, all I want is for my prime minister to be as, as personally degenerate as they are economically. Just imagine, you know, like it's day 10 and they're, you know, just like the inside of

the cheeks, like all of them are raw and like, and just like every mirrored surface, it has like a nice film to it and they're just like, we're running out of ropes, we're running out of ropes. You're not allowed, you're not allowed to be this cool and be a Tory, right? You're not allowed to do this. Imagine you're some poor soy Tory spad who like, sure you do coke, whatever, right? But you've just been attached to like in, in making a grab for the levers of power, you have been attached to this woman and she's engaged in some active, she is fucking napalming

the jungle of this hotel room. And it's like, I, oh my God, you know what it is? It's at least, it's so often, right? These think tank people, especially when they're connected to like the sensible center left or whatever, or the, or the center right or what have you, they tend to be sort of so nailed down and controlled in their, at least outwardly, right? In their, in their private lives, everything is almost sociopathically ordered, right? These are, these are, are people who are externalizing a real like desire to pluck the wings off

of flies, you know, and then what they, they're sort of, as you say, their chaos and desanctification is wreaked upon all of us, but it is very, very satisfied to see someone who is so consistent spiritually, I think. Yes. Yeah. And she's a girl. She takes her own medicine. It's not cool when Boris does it, but it's cool when she does it and it's funny and it's

good, actually. That's right. Yeah. I also really enjoy that the grace and favor country house for the foreign secretary is called Chievening, which sounds like it would be like a minor Republican senator's son, like his third son. My son, Chievening was just expelled from UNC Chapel Hill. You're, you're, you're describing what you're describing is a Mormon name.

Yes. Yes. It's a Mormon name. I was going to say BYU. Yeah. It's a Mormon, it's a Mormon name. Oh, okay. It sounds like a real word, but it's not expelled for soaking who was, who was foreign secretary

after her? Cause it's cleverly now, but was it like, and I want to say like James Hunt, maybe, but like, I just, I just picture the person who like stayed there next, just sort of like having a nice relax, getting out of the bath, sitting down and thinking, even though it's brand new, because you know, you, you ruin a place badly enough, it gets in the walls and just being like, why does this bathrobe smell like coke, poppers, pussy and diarrhea? Well, you know what? There's enough like poppers that you put it on and you just, your asshole immediately

dilates, that's how this whole circle started in the first place. They ruined four bathrobes on their first week on accident. They didn't even want to. If only she and Dana Rohrbacher would have been able to work together. Huh? They would, they would have been able to be just ruining embassies up and down this time. James Cleverly, so horny at a very inconvenient time.

All I can say is, I know it smelled crazy in there, it was like a fucking viscera cleanup detail level in there. I, my God. Like, let's just say that maybe the Grayson favor house might move to a hotel for a bit. So, so the other thing is also, before, this is like finding shit, they're like finding like loose ball gags and fucking like, it's so funny, it's like Coke straws and all the drawers. Yeah.

Yeah. Everything's like weirdly glistening. It's got kind of like a silicone effect to it. It's really unpleasant. Horrible. Um, anyway, honestly, please be Prime Minister again. We're sorry that we said everything about how you were terrible. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, you know what, I'm going to say it, best Prime Minister we never had. She never got to enact her actual agenda. It wouldn't work. 100%. Yeah. If she'd been able, if she and her team had been able to be on just like a few key bumps while doing the whole thing and didn't have to confine it to holidays, they would have

carried it off with all of the confidence necessary to actually transform Britain into Singapore. They would have done it. They would have done it right. No, they had to abide by decorum and there was a crusty old Dean, right, who was forcing them to like, you know, abide by his rules and they're on double secret probation. But if they'd just been able to be like the party house the whole time, then all of Britain would have been transformed for the better. It would have been like a kind of like a chaos theory of government.

But no. Yeah. I think actually what we need, we need Liz trust back in public life in a place where she can't do any harm. I think we should make her a member of the royal family. I think we should, we could find a Prince Andrew and replace him with Liz trust. The party princess. She's Prince Andrew now.

The party princess. Yeah. Yeah. Who can you marry her to? Yeah. Because the last one we fucked besides Diana was like, I don't know, King Edwards. Like he had like the special sex chair and stuff. He had that energy, but like, yeah, we've got to find like a minor royal and marry her

off. We've got to do it, you know? She's got to become governor of Bermuda or some shit, you know? Yeah. Okay. All right. This is the new TF political project. We've changed our scope a little bit.

It's to get Liz trust back into a position of at least public official prominence. She has to have more grace and favor houses that she could party down in. Of course, also, you know, I just, before we, we get on as well, I also want to bring up Starmer's plummeting personal approval ratings ahead of the local elections, Rishi Sudak. Rishi Sudak has now overtaken him in personal popularity. I mean, this is the thing, he's not doing enough cocaine allegedly. He's not having a sex swing installed in the leader of the opposition's office.

He's not like, you know, just being photographed walking in with like a forklift pallet full of liquid silk. And I have never ruined a bathrobe, aside from an unfortunate incident involving eating some leftover chicken corba for breakfast, but other than that, I've never been involved in the kind of insane deporture necessary to make a tax payer funded bathrobe unusable. At least it was cleanable after the chicken clover, it was, it did leave a slight yellowish stain. That's just, that's turmeric, you know, you can't, you can't get turmeric up.

I don't care how much varnish you use, how quickly you put it in, at the end of the day, that stuff is like nuclear waste. It's not, you're not getting it out. You know, you've just got to, you've just got to give up and start again, or use it as a dish rag or a car chamois. Okay, so of all the things, that's what's really ended Alice. The pull of like car chamois was like such a kist, I'm a fucking thing.