TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* ChatGPT Presents: Garum on Toast

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

For this week's bonus, it's an alternate configuration of Milo, Nate, and Alice discussing a startup to make every famous person into a PS3 polygon caricature to be licensed, news that Britain's rivers will become even more sewage-laden, and a Guardian article where a guy asks ChatGPT to invent new recipes that hopefully won't kill you. Get the whole episode on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/chatgpt-presents-88516781 *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

You know, it's funny because my wife worked for a company that you for a while that did um, like, uh, hardwares software for like sound and light control for live performances. And a lot of their stuff was built using the Unreal Engine. And so like during COVID, they're sort of saving grace because obviously like all live events shut down was that it could also be used for things for like, uh, studio performance, studio recordings, award shows, things of them that nature. Like you can control this stuff that would be filmed on a sound stage. And it's like, so there is, you can see how there was maybe a business idea there of these

sorts of like virtual things being as good as possible. But like, none of that was meant to be the permanent fucking situation. It was just a stand-in for like, you couldn't do stuff in person because literally like, we couldn't, there wasn't a way to do it without massively spreading COVID and there wasn't a vaccine yet and so and so forth. And it feels like some of this stuff like is half dumb, tech guy, Facebook, meta, buzz, shit, you know, that people have just believed too hard, but also like completely misreading the situation that like stuff that was being, you know, developed and there was demand

for in 2020 was just how things were going to be forever. Basically, oh, cool. We've got, we've got the most accurate version of the Sims ever. No one's ever going to want to talk to another human being ever again. And it's like, that's not really the case. It's sort of designed by and for the like five people in the world who really enjoyed the lockdowns, you know. I mean, who also are huge Alia fans. Yeah, I mean, they haven't seen much new music, you know, because they were kind of like privately locking down before this.

I mean, this is going to be helpful for like whatever the next pandemic is, you know, whenever someone in like, if I can like, Norway French kiss is a goose for too long and unleashes like some kind of avian superflu that wipes out half the planet. We can all like stay safe by watching sort of like a young Paul McCartney do TikTok dancers. We're often French kissing a goose but it's important to do it for the correct amount of dawn. That's why we have rules. Yeah, there's like a strict sort of like exposure limit. It's like radiation, you know.

It'd be interesting if the next global pandemic comes from, yeah, it's like, you know, people knocked China so hard for wet markets. But if the next one comes from like a limit, it's like radiation, you know? It'd be interesting if the next global pandemic comes from, yeah, it's like, you know, people knocked China so hard for wet markets, but if the next one comes from like a weird European delicacy, like someone ate casu marzu and fucking malta or wherever, and like it creates like, you know, the fever that turns your face blue and like you can never breathe again or some shit, like completely just, it's like, huh, you know what, you can plan about us, you know, eating pangolins or whatever, but guess what?

Y'all motherfuckers rotten ass cheese that people seem to eat because they think it's good now. So I guess what? I'm always falling. Chinese go over the hankachee, but it's not as fast as all the eating it. It's a meal that Riley ate. I'm always worrying that I'm gonna start pandemic too.

Genuinely, like, I don't know if I've told this story, but I got attacked by a squirrel a few years ago. And the whole time, like, left a little scratch down my arm because it climbed up on my shoulders, I panicked. And like, they got sharp little fucking claws. My mom had a squirrel jump on her face one time when she was sitting outside, and it scratched the hell out of her.

No, I genuinely, he climbed up me because people feed them. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm not gonna panic. I'm not gonna panic. Squirrel goes up to my shoulder. I panic, hull the fucking thing off. Extremely funny because I see a squirrel sort of like, splayed out spinning in air for a second. But on the way down, he scratches down my hand.

And I'm like, I'm fucking patient zero now. This is like the first 20 pages of the stand at what's happening here. I'm gonna like quarantine myself urgently. So. Normally, like iodine and a bandage would be okay, but that squirrel had been fucking marinating in buck fast his entire life.

And so like he just developed a super virus. I love to go to the bar as wet market. The global pandemic of the disease, which scientists say makes you conserve walnuts in holes in the ground. Has been taste back to the kitchen. Is a burger can't I thought I was doing a bit of squirrels into their burgers.

Yeah, I mean, walnut on a burger sounds pretty good to be. Oh God, it's happening. It's fucking happening. You've already been infected. It's done. Yeah, yeah, it's over. It's so over for us. Um, this is like imagining having a big fluffy tail.

Wouldn't that be cool? Yeah, I've, I've, I've heard Squirrel go. I'm sure. I mean, this would never have happened if I just stayed home and, you know, watched a virtual biggie concert 30 years after he died, you know. Yeah. It's almost not quite that long, but it's fucking close. Jesus, yeah.

I mean, he died in 97. So just making half the listeners feel, feel the rage. Yeah, this would only be fun if they, if they like missused it. I want to see Biggie on question time. I want to see Keir Starma do the Biggie concert. Yeah, 100%. I mean, it allows for those possibilities. You can have sort of like, what if Tom Hanks interacted with Alia, you know, or Malcolm X for that matter?

Yeah, I just imagine Kierstarmer just like, yeah, completely just juxtaposed. It's the worst version of big where your body is swapping people delivering lines and just like up in the speech, giving a labor conference and just being like, I don't give a fuck if you're pregnant, give me the baby rings. And then I'm a mum pinnacle. No, I'm going to like labor metaverse conference to see virtual keystone with debate virtual Malcolm X. I'm always fucking not.

I'm pain-wren with Thursday because you don't want to overdo it. It also shall pay capital to hydrate it. So are all to date it with a glass of water. That was hyper real. A nice little star stuff, I think, about how you're never going to see a live actor ever again unless the strike gets its way. No, unless you give me my water one. Unless you hand over the walnuts, one actor every hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm starting with Rory Keneer.

I don't get. Yeah, you cannot make. I'm important to science's asses. You cannot make a British independent film about masculinity anymore, because Rory Keneer has been fucking killed. Over. Well, it's just pointing a gun at his ass on live television.

Or he gets it. Uh, legally we are not threatening Roy Knit. This is big. Or his ass. No, this is a bit about real. I realize his ass is a national asset. Like fucking, MI5 has already gotten involved. They were tracing the fucking voice over IP.

They heard us mention a threat to his ass. That's right. It's sort of keyword based surveillance. But that was hyper, right? So there's been a credible frag. It's what we can hear us. Yeah, getting fucking the essay is zip lining into the studio to kill all of us and to like preemptive self-defense of his ass. But I have a little reading series for us. A little a Moose Boosh to close the sound on. This is an asked by found by Philip Maughan in the Guardian, headline, meaty, chewy, sticky, how A.I.'s listening kitchen can

redefine the art of cooking. I'm almost written by an A.I. already. Like what? Yeah, I mean, maybe this is the prank that they're going to like pull on us at the end of this. But I almost written by Naeai already. Like what? Yeah, I mean, maybe this is the prank that they're going to like pull on us at the end of this. But I don't think so. And I'm mostly just sad that Riley is going to miss this because, you know, we know that he's a man who enjoys his dinners. He does enjoy a fine meal. And yeah, it's known for it. Automation is coming even for this facet of his life. As the subhead tells us, coming even for this facet of his life. As the subhead tells us, written recipes have become too formulaic.

Compuiting can help restore the fun and the fusion of the oral tradition. I highly disagree. Anyone who's ever read a recipe will know they do not get to the fucking point. No, they don't. I wish recipes were more formulaic. Yeah, exactly.

Like, I don't. I wish recipes were more formulaic. Yeah, exactly. Like, I have tried. It's, there's certain recipes that I enjoy and obviously don't have them completely committed to memory and it's always amazing. Like, I have almost like muscle memory. Like I was playing a song on the piano for how many times I have to full swipe my phone to get through the fucking personal narrative

about 9-11 and like the 18 different flicker galleries, before I can just like, what do I fucking put in the goddamn part? Like, it's the idea to make these ginger cookies when I was watching reports on CNN of the mass graves that's rebranied so. 40 pages later, one cup of ginger. And at the end of all that, you get something

that is literally a formula, right? To complain that a recipe is formulaic to me is very funny. But I also like the idea of the AI is going to spice your life up. And you're like, wow, every single time that we let turn the AI on to make our recipes more diverse and interesting, it's always like ad bugs, crickets. Crickets. It's a protein. It's just such a funny thing to complain about as well.

It's like, oh, I find the IKEA instructions ever such a dry read. I give it a go by the pool on holiday, but by around page three when the little drawing of a man is scratching his head and looking at the stuff on the floor, I just think no. Well, that little man should be a mythic figure because he should be passed down by oral tradition. That is right. All right, let me begin. Over the past few weeks, I have been using GPT-4

to help me cook. Need a substitute for an ingredient you forgot to buy? GPT, you can suggest an alternative. Time to clear out the cupboards. Simply target. Google couldn't do that. What a hit, what do you need an AI? I told you the story about how I asked it,

give me a list of biographies of Adolf Tier and like it fucking, or Adolf Tier is the fucking French president in the 1870s and it just made up fake books. Like is it gonna make up fucking fake? Like I told this, it's a very funny story but like yes, it literally said by this book by a guy who's been dead for 70 years called Tier the Napoleon of the French.

It's like, no. Like is it gonna just see, I'm just imagining, is it gonna just tell you to get like this, this spice that doesn't actually exist, is it gonna tell you to like, you know, ad quantity that- They're just using their Tassium Sinai.

Yeah, like, in a way, like, the suggestion that is telling you to eat bugs is actually way more fucking benign, but like, I don't want the thing that can't figure out whether a book is real or not to tell me what I should add to the thing I'm literally going to ingest.

It's gonna time to clear out the cupboards, simply type. Please create a recipe using two eggs, the jar of ballotti beans, a potato, a leak, and the scrapings on the bottom of a jar of pickle. I'm always wrong. Why would you do that? You know what, as well have it fucking make you drink the water from the puddle.

Like fuck sage. I'm all- Why would you do that? You know, you might as well have it fucking make you drink the water from the puddle! Like fucks sake!