TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* Drone Striking the Table of Success feat. Mattie Lubchansky

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

For this week's bonus, our friend Mattie Lubchansky joins us to discuss NYC mayor Eric Adams, a man who claims to have invented the concept of slowly boiling a frog--a man who cannot stop lying about everything, as well as being a paranoid cop. We hope that your haters become your waiters at the table of success. We hope so very much.   Get the full episode on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/drone-striking-87812377   *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

A decade ago, he gave an address to students graduating from Medgar Evans College in Brooklyn in which dispensing with celebration, he told them all to smarten up. Adams, who at this time drove a BMW convertible and wore a thin strip of mustache and formed his audience that as a public official, he met some of quote, the most attractive intelligent ladies in the city. And I'm not going to take you anywhere if you've got a tattoo on your neck with two cherries saying, lick me, that ain't happening.

Do you see? Yeah. We love, we love a man who like sets clear boundaries. Yeah, he also like loves to at press conferences like talk about like if if he's dated, someone who used to live near where he's doing the press conference, he'd be like, I dated somebody by here.

Do you think he really did? I don't know, who knows, maybe? Just so you know that he like fucks back in the day. Yeah, but you know, you know they didn't have neck tattoos. Do you fuck up in like a classy way? Very classy. Yeah, they'd be hearing out to do notice serious nature in the fucking... Do you fuck, but then like a classy way? Very classy. To tearing out. To do notice serious nature in the fucking.

They would only go for dates at the bank. I think honestly, if you were dating Eric Adams and he took you to a bank, would you be shocked? So, like, just go stand on the lobby and admire the bank? I wouldn't be shocked by anything. Eric Adams did, if you took me all day. Like, I would have no preconceived notion of how bad night would go. I do like the, we're going on a date to go visit the money.

Go look at it. Going to the zoo. I know one thing that'll happen, I'm I date with Eric Adams, which is why I will wake up on mouth tape shut. Yeah, breathe in through your nose. Oh, wow, you really did it. I know one thing that'll happen on my date with Eric Adams, which is why I will wake up on mouth tape shut Yeah, yeah breathe through your nose. Oh wow you really did do the mustache. Huh you're breathing through the nose of success Between 2018 and 2021 Adams appeared on to what happened between 2018 and 2021 Adams appeared on dozens of podcasts with names such as Plant Strong and Spiritual Shit and primarily talked about his response to diabetes. He sometimes recorded three or

four episodes in a day, attesting to the power of turmeric and the importance of doing one's own medical research. You said like 18 to 21, that's including pandemic times. So like we all got a little bit weird. I wouldn't, I think I recorded between three and four podcasts a day at that point. So like, I mean, and to be fair, before then he did only have like a Brooklyn ribbon cutting job, but still, never the last.

He says, the contents of his fridge at the start of 2016 were grim. It was all heavy with sugar, fat and processed oil, and I just threw it out. He frequently allowed himself to be introduced as a vegan. And I suppose that, as mayor, he'd bring food if she was into every classroom, in the classroom, for example. And I quote, how many apples does it take to make a salad? That's math.

You know? That's such a confused sentence. There's like a Manchurian candidate activation phrase. Like, it's like if you were trying to discern whether or not someone has a concussion, you would ask them something like that and see if they notice that it makes sense. Yeah, it's the thing someone says, the Tom Cruise at the beginning of a mission impossible movie

before they hand on the folder. Like how many apples are in your salad? Well, it's math. You've got to figure it out. I guess he's still my earring. If you wanted to do calculus, you could like throw an apple, I suppose, and try to like,

and calculate the area under the curve. Or for geography, where does a banana come from? I mean, I know where if the mox is, get that way apparently. Yeah, where does a banana come from? For every, so all classes to be food themed in order to promote an agenda of healthy living. Yeah, cool.

Where does a banana come from? That's psychology. The psychology of finding a banana. Being the top eight. You can't find the banana. You can't run the the chimps. The chimps can't be your waiter at the table of success. Also, the chimps for waiters. Chimps will be your waiters in the tree of success if you are the banana king. Eric Adams promises New Yorkers a future with monkey butlers if only they believe in him. He seemed to be claiming a place among inspirational speakers the article goes on to be a guru and training. In one conversation, Adams enthused about the way thanks to Ted Talks YouTube and podcasts that an accumulation of

believers are now at a centralized spot out there in this place we can call cyber. Oh, the Vibeshift. Ah, your next job could be in cyber. We're going to start to see believers start to come together and build these communities and these colonies. That excites me that I can go out there and find other believers. And I believe our energy, our vibration, will start to deal with some of the major issues that have held us back.

You could genuinely do an impossible difficulty quiz of did Eric Adams or Marianne Williamson say this? Mm-hmm. So I think that's pretty exciting though, right? Is people are going to get together from podcasts and create a community that is going to operate all of the drones that can inspect the bridges so we don't have to hire bridge inspectors.

Yeah, that's gonna be you, the listener. You are now a bridge inspector. Get to it. Yeah, allow your consciousness to be uploaded into a lemur too and know that you exist only to bash windows where kids are vaping. Just don't kick off the window or piece of like quite a quite a quite a quite a. Oh, um, he wants to clear it a firm belief in reincarnation and described a

previous life as an ancient Sumerian. Oh, he can understand that joke. Finally, he can explain it to us. Actually, the ancient Sumerian joke sounds a lot like every sentence that Eric Adams says. You look at it like a baffling riddle. Well, the joke is something like a dog walks into a bar and he says, open the next one. Yeah, they say it's too dark in here. I'll open this one. Yeah, classic. Yeah, Eric Adams losing his get here. I'll open this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, classic. Yeah, Eric Adams losing his shit here.

Yeah, that's a Marion dog is walking into ears of your art when you said at the ear of the class. Yeah, it's a Samarian dog walks into your school and he says, how many apples does it take to make a salad? That's mad. Diagramming this out. So haters, waiters, ancient Sumerians, mayors. That's why it's got mayor in the name.

Ancient Sumerians. So he's often said that by the age of 12, he had an important role in New York's networks of illegal gambling. Earlier this year declaring, quote, I was one of the top illegal numbers runners in the city. Yeah, this is so, so he lies about having been a criminal Kind of in a like despite having been a cop because and the thesis in this New Yorker article is that basically

The only thing he admired is his power so he'd like lies about having been a gang member was then actually for real a victim of police brutality and then became a cop, which he also kind of lies about. Yeah, this guy's awesome. Like, he's so fascinating. Like, nothing, none of it makes sense. You want to hear another thing. Okay.

When do you all think that the frog boiling metaphor, right, that if you put a frog in cold water and then boil the water slowly, the frog will allow itself to just die, right? When do you think that is from? Oh, ancient Sumerian. Yeah, of course. Well, Eric Adams might just, well, I guess, if he was ancient Sumerian, maybe not,

because it seems to imply that he came up with that. Oh, it's too dark in here. I'll open this one as a part of the frog boy. Yeah. Your haters become frogs in the boiler water of your success. He'd done the experiment himself in school. If you think about it, it was a terrible experiment. That's quite a Trump line.

I know. You used to do it in school the experiment when you think about it now. It was a terrible experiment. Very bad. It's very close to very related to my absolute favorite Eric Adams thing, which is someone asked him a softball question of like what's your favorite concert? Oh yeah. And he said the one where Curtis were a lighting rig fell on Curtis my field and he got paralyzed. That was, that was,

that was great before that. And then someone went back and checked and no music was played before the lighting rig fell on. So that was the thing you, it was like fucking Hannibal Lecter keeps a filing cabinet draw full of like church collapses to disprove the existence of God. Eric Adams is just like sitting there thinking about the time

these sore curses may feel get like paralyzed, like in a hitman level. Moving on out. Me, the regulars, a book of interviews done in Brooklyn bars and restaurants, included a 2015 lunch with Adams at another Petrosian's restaurant, who compared Brooklyn's recent

cultural flowering to a quote overweight but gorgeous woman he dated in college. No Naked Tatoo for lunch. He's perfect. He has a beautiful mind like he's like drill for lunch. He ordered lamb and a salad of his own invention which included kale and no dressing. Sorry. and a salad of his own invention, which included kale and no dressing. Sorry, go ahead. The salad of his own invention is low key, the sleeper best line of this salad. No, that's how he discovered this.

He was the Arabic guy who discovered the concept of zero. That's how he proved it. He had a salad with no apples in it. There are no apples in this salad or order the other one. I can't get over the fact that he claims to have boiled frogs. It's go. Yeah. This is like a corollary to him doing the rat soup in front of everybody, which I think we talked about last time I was on talk about Eric Adams was the rat soup.