TRASHFUTURE - PREVIEW: I Hate This Steampunk Dystopia

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

Riley, Alice, and Hussein review some of the developments in the wide world of British pet ownership and a return to Victorian levels of dog-maulings to accompany the return of Victorian diseases, then we look at a startup that's reinventing a train but worse, and then read all about how Liz Truss thinks that getting rid of Boris Johnson was the wrong thing to do. Riley uncovers an awful hidden talent.   If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here: https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

A puzzle can be hard to put together, but you don't seem too complicated. Isn't that such a good haunted child? You just had that and you didn't even know you had that. Alright, so what are the pictures? What's the movie? Alright. So it's going to be like that child is Rory Kinnick, because all men in A24 movies have to be Rory Kinnick now.

So it's going to be like creepy child, say, Lesuit, a big lollipop. Yeah. Sharp and drippy lollipop. And then you never want a lollipop to be sharp and drippy. I thought it's Rory Keneer. His I dub his voice is me doing my incredible like A plus S T or haunted child impression. Can you call it young Matt. Yes perfect. Okay. Right. So it's a good agent if you're listening. We have a very interesting project. And you can film it in Britain, which means that you will be able to get past the strikes. That's true. That's true. Also, a 24 is agent, if you're listening and can get us Rory Keneer, oh, if you can get him, if we all we need to do is we could attach Rory Kinear to so much good stuff.

I think we could attach him to a radiocer in the studio. Oh, no, no, because Rory Kinear, he's, okay, so every A24 film, it's like, it's a metaphor, right? Sure. And the haunt, it's like, gritty boss baby. Remarkable young man. Yeah, it's the reboot of Boss Baby that like, the And the haunt, it's like, gritty boss baby. Remarkable, young man. Oh, yeah, it's the reboot of Boss Baby that like, the baby is actually like, it says something

about capitalism, you know, in a way that the original Boss Baby didn't. And Rory Keneer is the boss baby, but he's like an adult with a baby voice. And it's like, oh, yeah, it's like capitalism is like this mad baby. And then I guess so is it? We are on what like day five of the mini heatwave now. I should say yeah We're a day five of the mini heatwave. We're discovering our lost talents or talents. We didn't know we had We're doing great Hi everybody. It's that let the movie pitch corner is now at an end because we finally pitched the perfect movie Yeah, that's right.

And mummy says it's your favorite podcast. Trash future. I hate that. We got a we got a big show for you today that won't include any more haunted Victorian child voice. We can't really promise that. We can't really promise. It's quite difficult to hold it back.

You know, we're going to have some facts about Lex Greencell. No, that's coming in the next one. Damn, fuck. Yeah, no, no, no. We got a little bit of news, a little bit of discussion, and then, you know what, sometimes life just gives you a new LizTruss interview, and that's just like, well, sorted, perfect. I love talking about this. I love reading it. I love talking about this. I love reading it.

I love everything she says. It's kind of like clock off early in terms of planning the episode off. Yeah, it's like, oh, can we have it? It's, it's Liz Trust doing or saying anything is the equivalent of the teacher wheeling in, I guess I'm the teacher. It's when I get to wheel in the TV.

Mm-hmm, yeah. So, let's, but let's talk about a little bit, a little bit of news. One of the things that jumped out at me recently is it was recently announced that if Jeremy Corbin stood for the London Majority, which he is not ruling out, then Cedique Khan would lose to Susan Hall. Okay. So I kind of, I accept this framing, first of all. I don't disagree that if Corbin ran, he would split the vote and he would lead to the Conservatives winning. However, I do think it would be funny. Yes. He has the power to do that. He has the power to do that, and you can't just complain about it.

You do have to give him something to make him go away. Yeah, well, I mean, the problem with Suddick Khan, right, is that, like, as much as he is on the left of the Labour Party, that doesn't mean that he is on the left. And there are a lot of people in London who are further left than him who would gladly vote for, you know, for Jeremy Corbin himself. So at some point, you maybe need to address that even on the sort of like left or like lib wing of the party that, you know, maybe you got to have some concessions to ask. It's quite funny because I think the expectation was always that Jeremy Corbin should just know his place and his place being like, you should just exist so that people can be mad at you.

We teach Corbin to shrink themselves to make themselves smaller. Like your job, your job is just to sit there and let us get mad at you and you're not allowed to do anything, you're not allowed to say anything unless those things serve that purpose. And the problem is that if you run for like an elected position and crucially, if you run with like a fairly good infrastructure behind you, and someone who could really genuinely kind of cause a political, who could cause like political significance, that's when suddenly you're doing the wrong thing.

And so these people are sort of pointing at them being like, no, you should know your place. You should know what you're doing. Don't do anything except for the thing that you're doing, or the thing that we think that you should do. And you're right, it's like none of it makes any sense, but it is quite funny, but the reaction sort of seems to be this mixture of, because I also saw in some, I also saw, and I don't know whether I misread like some of the responses to this poll, but it was also like, oh, I hope Jeremy Corbyn win, there's runs about, Sadeek doesn't win because

of his like Ula's expansion, and that will prove that actually Kirstaama was right all along. It was very confusing to me, and it was very much a case of like, it was very much a case of like, well, what do you actually want? And so many of the things when I read and like talk about British politics on this show and just generally is like, well, I don't know what these people actually want. Well, what they want is Captain Gatso. And you know what we'll truly boil his piss

is Jeremy Kohl and running from there. Here's the thing though, right? About, because he hasn't ruled it out, he hasn't announced any policies, just it's more interesting to be like, hey, you could make him not do that by giving him some concessions. The alternative, of course, being Susan Hall.

And in a sense, we've talked about Susan Hall in this show before. I mean, I think every country's major city should have the weirdest type of person from that city be its mayor for at least a while. Oh, the Crank Man program. Yeah, like Toronto had Rob Ford, who is a classic style of Canadian oath.

Laurie Lightfoot, classic Chicagoan. Yeah, classic Chicago, weirdo, Eric Adams, a swagged out cop from New Jersey, a classic New York person. Only in New York, combined New York, we mean New Jersey, only near New York. Susan Hall is also a perfect outer London, like suburban busybody. Yeah, she's like a sort of Southwestern London cycle, which is perfect. I mean, she could be London's Eric Adams, you know? And she's weird enough in Facebook enough that she could be as odd as Eric Adams, but

from a British perspective, Susan Hall personally euthanizing a bully Excel, wearing a guy a bearer, describing herself with no basis as being Croatian. The city of London was built on a horde of jules and that's why it has swag. All of this, all of these things. I think that that's as weird as Eric Adams, it really could be the same thing. For example, I'm doing all Adams bits instead of like she shows up with like a cowboy wearing a fedora to a press conference, you know. Here's how I'm going to tweak it.

She doesn't euthanize a bully XL on camera. She actually takes all of the confiscated ones and makes them met police officers. Like the, the, the met police gain a battalion of bully XLs whose job is to mall children who have poor school uniform. Yeah, the, the training's already sorted, you know. So, I mean, this is really funny about Susan Hortur, because she has two policies running from her, which are anti-

anti-crying, but not in a way that requires spending any money. And this really like threads the needle, right, is you take all of the like, you lose cameras and stuff down, and you give all of the bully excels police badges. You strap the Ula's cameras to the bully excels, connect them to the bully's brain, and then Susan Hall through a neural-linked system gains distributed intelligence through 10,000 gigantic dogs. I love watch dogs. Speaking of the bullies, though, it's, if you ever wanted to see kind of a perfect opinion that makes no one mad,

you should check out our one on the extra large American bulldogs. Yeah, so if you're listening to this going, what the fuck are you guys talking about? This has been sort of the thing that we all decided we were going to talk about in Britain over the last couple of days, which is the fact that it seems every dog now is just a sort of like 60 kilogram murder machine. And sometimes they just, you know, kill a kid. And, you know, maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, who can say? Yeah, maybe the kid scared the dog into killing them. Do you think about that? I have the kid at bad vibes, you know, you don't know these things.

What if it was a haunted child? What if that? What if that's the origin story of a remarkable young man? Like the boy gets killed by a American bully and becomes a guy. I mean, to be fair, that is logistically self-defense. If there's like a haunted curse or otherwise paranormal, if the child like comes up to you and like a 1950s school uniform, you know, a gray like lot, there's like's like, let me say we're good at puzzles. Get him, you know, like 100% justified on Halloween.

With the the child murder rate London goes back to like Victorian levels for the 31st and first only. goes back to like Victorian levels for the 31st and 1st only.