TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* Ingest Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

Riley, Nova, and Hussein chug some down some heavy metals, talk about rare earths, ChatGPT’s OTHER other detour into porn (before curing cancer), and the slow death of neoliberalism. Then, Wired does some crucial journalism: talking to Cybertruck owners who all need to find polite ways of saying they have a “getting yelled at” fetish. Get the whole episode on Patreon here! TF Merch is still available here! (We can't ship to the US right now but we're working on it!) MILO ALERT Check out Milo’s tour dates here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/liveshows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)

Now it's time. I think, you know what? I think I want to talk about the cyber truck owner. Please. I'll save the Antichrist stuff for another day. So this is an article in Wired by Zoe Schiffer. Spit on, sworn at, and undeterred. What it's like to own a cyber truck.

Unbent, unbroken, and unbowed. Unbent, unbroken, and burnt, quite badly burnt. The thing is, the way things are heading, if somebody gives you the thumbs down as you're driving your cyber truck, you are now a U.S. citizen. and the U.S. Armed Forces will be deployed to your location to protect you. You have American consular protections abroad. They've built the Star Wars satellite system just to send a titanium rod down on anyone who looks askance at a cyber truck.

So, this is a series of interviews with people. What is the craziest interaction you've had with someone driving this car? Answer. A while back, I went into Whole Foods to drop off an Amazon package. I usually wear work boots because I do construction. So I go in, and of course, a lady with an electric Mustang comes and puts this note on my car. It reads, damn, this lady is mugging you already, it sounds like, first of all. The note reads, this truck is an extension of your small penis.

Yeah, go off. She doesn't know these cars record 24-7, so I actually was able to find her after she left. Why? What the fuck is wrong with you? Just take that in stride, you fuck freak. Well, hold on, hold on here. I was able to find her. It's like, oh, I just, the thing is, she didn't know.

that my car actually has a built-in stalker mode that means that if anyone within 50 feet of it frowns, you get their social security number. So this, but this is when, this is when this guy who is an undercover, just like either Facebook or like verified Twitter replyer or whatever, puts up his index, middle, and ring finger to order three drinks instead of his thumb index and middle finger because he says.

So if they're referenced to a movie, I don't. This is, as in orders the beers wrong, like an inglorious bastards. Yeah, that's, that is the way that I would have expressed. God damn, okay, please cut me missing that. That was what the meme's about? Wait, what's the meme's about? Thank you for making that uncasible Hussein. Bless you.

God damn it. I was, I've seen that being shared around, and I've like, I haven't said anything because I feel like, kind of embarrassed about it. Would you say that you had some kind of imposterous? Were you suggesting? Do you think the meme was just about when there's three of something? If you haven't seen that, movie, you haven't seen the movie.

I have seen the film, but I saw it, like, when it came out. And so, like, I've sort of, like, forgotten, like, what the... What does he mean by this? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that makes a lot more sense now. No, German would ever order three of something. So it goes nice evil numbers to make... Only ever do two

or four. Yeah. Great. Oh, amazing. Okay. All right. Yeah. She says, you're driving this and I'm offended. You're a Nazi. So, yeah, you're driving. You're driving this and I'm offended. Yeah, that's definitely the three-finger order right there. Yeah.

No one talks like that. So we start talking and she says, well, I saw you get out of your truck with your boots and you're a big white man. And I guess I just assumed because Elon's a Nazi, you fit the profile. I stopped her and said, um, I'm Jewish. Okay. So you just accused me of being a Nazi when I'm a Jew. And you just said your wife was Jewish.

So I'm assuming you're gay. Is that a safe assumption? Merely because I was driving the fucking. Mercedes-Benz Hitler car to the store, you assume that I'm some kind of Nazi. Realizing this is, this is a plot point legitimately in the not very good remake of it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world, rat race. And I was like, well, you do realize you just profile me based off the vehicle I drive and me wearing work boots and being a big white guy as being a Nazi when it's something

completely different. This guy, I assume, is very anti-profiling in all other respects. And then she broke down in tears and, apologized. Damn. That's how we heal all our divided society is owning the libs. Charlie Kirk is up there in heaven smiling down at you. Yeah. So then another person, how do you feel about becoming

a political lightning rod? People occasionally just flip me off or whatever, but nobody's come up to me and tried to make a statement. That's kind of dumb, but it's just a vehicle. Uh, so it's ironic that it would ever become a political statement, but nonetheless it is. And then the best editor's note ever comes next. Editor's note, Taylor was arrested and pled guilty

to conspiracy to construct an official proceeding in the January 6th attack on the Capitol. Yeah, that's maybe a little relevant detail there. Yeah, I'm basically, I'm basically not very political. I'm not what you would call apolitical, yeah. Yeah, I just got, look, I got lost on the tour. This is the reform thing again. This is like doing, you retain for yourself the privilege to do like violent political action,

cast yourself as a political, and anyone who like doesn't like it is doing violence at you. You know, basically I was a victim of terrorism. when someone gave me the like thumbs down to my cyber truck. Yeah. I mean, I think it's very brave of all of these, all of these, again, survivors of domestic terrorism to go out there and put on the record that they're, they're staying strong, you know? They're not letting this sort of define them apart from the part what they do.

Another one, Roger Davis, age not given, job entrepreneur. What do you like about the truck? What I love about the truck is how it's so polarizing. Oh, this sick little fucker loves it. He loves getting the thumbs down. Yeah, I bet this guy is polite. I bet this guy's politically homeless as well, right? I mean, to be fair, right, if I see you in the cyber truck and we enter into the

chess battle of the mind of I give you a thumbs down and you start jerking off, you have bested me. You have won in that environment. It's true. You've beaten me in the marketplace of ideas. I'm sorry. This is sort of my question, like, whenever I've, when I've seen this story, because it was just like, though, I'm very sure there was a time where like, you know, it's always been the

case that there have been people who have used their sort of purchasing power to buy, like, obnoxious things in order to sort of like assert themselves in the world where they know that they're being dicks and they are deliberately doing it because they have enough money to sort of like move in the world in a different way. Yeah, they're called cannon owners. And like the cyber truck is really sort of like the kind of, you know, the sort of like contemporary product to do that, right? It's like this massive car that doesn't fit like let alone on sort of like European roads. Like it doesn't sort of fit on most American roads. And so like it's deliberately designed to basically be able to kind of take over

like roads in public space it like anyone who drives it can't actually see like you know anyone beneath them which is like also part of a design it's just like really sort of garish and obnoxious it is like the thing that you buy if you have loads of money and you just want to like tell people to go fuck themselves and there was a time when like people did that

and they would actually sort of like really be frilled by like people being annoyed with them because like that was the whole purpose of it and now it just sort of seems to be the case that like And I don't know how, like, sincere it is, but it is just like, oh, these people don't like me for, like, having this fucking obnoxious and, you know, completely impractical vehicle that just annoys everyone. And they shouldn't be allowed to be annoyed with me. But it's like, no, you do want them to be annoyed with you. Like, that is a reason why you are you about it?

Yeah. Right. Well, are you married, they ask. I was, but I'm not anymore. Women do not like this car. Oh, okay. If you just said, no, sure, fine. Whatever.

Lots of people get divorced, but only some people get divorced. divorced, if you follow me. And the people who are divorced with a capital D are the people who say things like, yeah, women don't really like my epic truck. In July, Tesla rolled out a software update to integrate GROC into its vehicles. Do you use it? I think this is like, whatever the opposite of journalistic malpractice is following up, yeah, I'm like mega divorced because I love my cyber truck, is following up with the implicit question, do you have sex with the truck, basically via the AI. So Zoe Schiffer, congratulations on doing the opposite of journalistic malpractice. Yeah, you got to ask if he's doing what Sam Mortman calls Erosica with the truck.

Her name is ORA and I use her as a therapist. While I'm driving, I'll ask questions and it gives really good advice. Uh-huh. What's the craziest experience you've had in the car? And I can tell what she's going for, which is one time I fucked the car. I just pre-cogged this shit when I talked about him jerking off. I don't know how I did that. I just knew. Years of experience. Yeah. So in June of this year, I wanted to put the truck through its paces. The Rubicon is a very famous 22-mile off-road trail that takes a few days. I decided to be the first cyber truck to cross it. I built out the truck. I spent $50,000 kidding it out, and then went. So three days into the trip, five miles into the trail, I was way more difficult than I could

have imagined. On the third day, I was coming down the hardest part of the trail, and I just finished and I was in the vehicle by myself, and I was driving along a little stream. And all of a sudden, through the trees, I felt the light hit me. And I'm going to call it a miracle because it was. Imagine if you're flush, like how your face blushes but over your whole body. And then I just felt the presence of God, deep peace and love. It really broke me down and reset my life at that point. Okay, sure.

Man. He came in the truck. He came in the truck. I got in the truck. Either he had a TIA, like a mini stroke, or he came in the truck. So look, that's that's the people who own the cyber truck. A lot of the people who have

them, who I didn't read from, a lot of what they do is they're like, they'll, like, keep, like, toys in the truck to give them out so children don't, like, yell at them. Okay, all right. Yeah, maybe there was, there's an easier way to signify that you, you're going to do that. Maybe you could get, like, a, maybe, like, a custom sort of paint job for the truck that just says, like, free candy or something along the side, you know, just speed that right up. Just make it white.

Just, just, yeah, make it, make it black out all the windows, like missing tail light, something like that, um, real dirty as well. And then if you just, like, drive around real slow by schools, playgrounds, whatever, then I think the left will be forced to concede to your epicness, you know? That's right. But, Christ, at least that guy's only jerking off to the truck, you know? Then again, the truck was only built a couple of years ago. You sick, fuck, it's like two years old, you know?