TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* Mega Dukes feat. Patrick Wyman

Episode Date: March 7, 2025

It’s time for another examination of historical parallels with lessons for our own time - today Patrick Wyman joins the gang to discuss the late Byzantine empire… a state with such a self referential, cosseted elite that they found themselves sprinkling imperial procession routes with rose water while their entire society crumbled from the outside in. Also, getting caught red handed in the metaverse, the Shawinigan Cocktail, and butter is churned into guns. Get the whole episode on Patreon here! *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s tour dates here: https://miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)

I'm being handed another bulletin. This is an emergency bulletin that I'm being handed. This is what I'm concerned this may be our final Miguel Arruda update. Oh no. Until his post-parliamentary career because the Portuguese government has collapsed, which means there will be new elections. And unfortunately, he was removed from his party, which means he will be unable to run again as a member of his party, which means he's no longer going to be able to use the Portuguese parliamentary mail post office to send vintage stuff. Hashtag fired for truth.

He's going to have to run again under a new party called like La Partia Del Bagajal or something. For people who love taking stuff from the airport. Yeah look, it's like if they call you a luggage thief but you must wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you. Anyway, so we are eagerly I really hope this is not the end of our association with the with the sixth member of the show, Miguel Arruda. I really hope he writes a book or does like a tour or tries to become unwoke comedian, or something. I want him to do anything. I do not want him to just like, go into like, used car sales. Diminish and go into the West, you know, retire to obscurity, sure, yeah. Yeah.

No, you, Miguel Arruda, you stay in the fucking public eye. Yeah, that's fucking right. Reading Miguel Arruda, the man in the arena speech. It's not the critic who counts. What counts is the guy who gets in there and steals that luggage. What matters is the man at the baggage carousel. A couple of bits of news. And this is actually, I think this, the next two items, I think we can draw into our, our historical comparison discussion. There's two, Which one? I'll let

you all choose what you want to start with. Do you want to start with another person in the House of Lords who appears to have been caught in a sting? There's so many these days. Or do you want to talk about finally a UK government is going to get serious about defense and cut the benefits bill? Finally. Give me the Lord. I want to hear some Lord stuff. I'm really enjoying our kind of like focusing in on the House of Lords, you know, because they've got some real, some real weird shit going on in there. Indie girls in 2014. Give me some Lord stuff. Henry Dyer, who has been on the show once in the past in his capacity is working for

private eyes. Yeah. So I thought this was the Lord you were talking about for a second. I was like, when did this happen? It's basically doing a number of stings. You know what? It's doing a number of stings on So I thought this was the Lord you were talking about for a second. I was like, when did this happen? Is basically doing a number of stings. Is doing a number of stings on what is essentially a population of island dodo. The most easily stung people in the entire world, British labor peers. We're releasing rats onto their biome.

So the last labor peer we talked about, of course, David Evans, has a 56 year old son who still spiritually lives in his basement. This one is Ian McNichol, who actually was the General Secretary of the Labour Party, doesn't just share a name with him. I remember him from the Ford report, right? Yes, of course. Ian McNichol, the one who was just like, I hope we don't win with the guy in charge, let's do everything we can to stop it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. But the question is, does he have like a 60 year old son? I checked, unfortunately, and he does not have a Richard. Damn.

Oh, that's such a shame. He could have had like a man child. A brother? A nephew? An uncle? A cousin? Like there must be someone attached to this motherfucker's coattails. He could have had like a son who is embezzling money for his coin collection, who had a website called nickelanddime.com or something like that. That would have been great for us. Ian McNichol, he's younger than 82, so give his son some time. Uh-huh. Right? Let him get established in the sonning game. You know, Richard Evans has had since the mid-90s being a professional son. Yeah, this guy, he's just,

Ian McNichol's kid's just starting. But also like David Evans, Ian McNichol, keen admirer of Azerbaijan. It's so cool how all of these, like half of the House of Lords, like most recent phone calls are like their own nephews or the president of Azerbaijan. Or journalists pretending to be developers. They've all got flats next to each other in Baku. They're having, it's like a House of Lords lads trip. It's just like how this Guardian reporter went undercover, you just put an Azeri flag in your bio. You leave the Guardian in there, they don't read past that, you know. They love the Azeri flag. Labor peer ends up on a French government kill list because of what he's been saying about Nouvelle Caledonia, you know?

Yeah. So Ian McNichol, and there's the other thing, they didn't even get this guy with the phony developer scheme. Ian McNichol got himself, and we're going to go into how. So Ian McNichol, only 55, a spring chicken, younger than Richard Evans. Yeah. Younger than the son of the other guy. He's got this whole web in front of him.

Advise the Dubai and Zurich based Astra Protocol, a cryptocurrency startup. I love that game. Real shame it never got a sequel. Whose token has plunged to 0.3% of its value off the peak. So thank you Ian McCliggle for trying to get, I don't know, the treasury involved. More like Disastra Protocol. More like Terra Protocol. His role at the firm was announced in January 2023, right? He writes the treasury in June of that year. In his letter, he basically says, oh, Astor Protocol, we've got this esteemed team of industry veterans and high profile advisors that are experiencing crypto and we're uniquely placed to advise you, the government, on meaningful

insights into the challenges and opportunities that come with regulating like decentralized finance. We know all of that was like nothing. This is the thing. How, this is one of my problems with crypto. How do you take something with a name as cool as like Astra Protocol and make it about spreadsheets on the fucking internet? Yeah, it's, it's lame. It's very lame. Now he says he referred to Astra Protocol as unique, offering to advice. Now we know what all of this advice right really is, right? So, oh, we're going to provide advice. It's all access, right? You get to hang out with me and my nephews and check out our cool web design and in return for that, you make a large contribution of some kind.

Or even if it's not a large contribution, it's like, hey, if you ever do, if the treasury ever does get into owning and controlling sums of cryptocurrency, consider us, right? That's like the end of the crypto game is to hook your thing up to the state. Even the state makes the money. They don't need finance of any kind. Anyway, so he signs this letter as advisor Astro Protocol. So by July, the Astro Protocol token loses a huge amount of its value. October of that year, he joins Starmer's front bench and then says, oh, I've given up my

paid consultancy work with Astro Protocol in September 2023. Yeah, they can't afford to pay me anymore due to the fact that they have no money left. The very funny thing is he said all of this as of late 2023, in May 2024, he was caught in the metaverse giving a paid speech for Astro Protocol. In the metaverse? How do you get caught in the metaverse? Yeah, like imagine. Excuse me, that can't possibly be me, I don't have any legs. And as you can see, I do have legs, so... You think when you're younger, right, this kind of thing happens in, like, smoky wood paneled cigar strewed rooms, right, and then you get a little bit older and you think, oh, maybe instead it happens in, like, brushed steel and aluminium and glass rooms, and you

never stop to think that it's happening in fucking Habbo Hotel, right? Like, it never occurs to you that Club Penguin, or whatever the fuck, whatever, like, elaborated version of that, is the venue to organise this shit. LWX Getting approached by a penguin with the, like, Arab headdress on, who offers you, like, a big watch full of whatever the fucking penguin money is. I work for the Azerbaijan Secret Services Club Penguin Division. Basically, he's giving a speech.

Very confusing if you're a Secret Service agent of that kind to be in the metaverse hunting down dissidents because they already have the legs cut off. What do I do? So what he does is he then gives a speech promoting it, saying like, oh, I'm a paid advisor to this firm, even though he'd already said, well, I'm no longer a paid advisor to this firm. And so then obviously this is the sting.

They didn't even need to send the fake developers in to be like, we're definitely not from the Guardian. You can trust us with your, with your like, you know, promises. They just Googled him. He caught himself with Google. But like, very carefully wording this for legal reasons, to have appeared to have breached the ethical protocols of the British government is one thing,

but to have done that in the metaverse, it's like getting a DUI in a fucking clown car. How incredibly embarrassing. And then they're like, is anyone else in the car with you tonight? So I'm just like, you don't want to know. We've not got that long. I mean, the shit he does also is so incredible.

Like the rest of it is like cartoon super villain stuff. He says, oh yeah, my, um, his other firm, McNichol Consulting, as one client, which is the International Republican Institute, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization working to strengthen democratic institutions that is exclusively members of the Republican Party in the states. Cool.

Nice. Non-partisan. Yeah. It's like, oh, so in order to maintain my lifestyle, not only do I get paid, you know, 700 quid a day to not like to show up to work, but I also go and take like a kind of a paid lunch with like the vampires, basically. Yeah, essentially. Yeah, cool.

So, number one, that is an example of our current crop of elites. That's so disgusting as well, to be like, I'm hanging out with the washed Republicans, the guys who aren't there for the current bonfire of the vanities, the Trump One guys, the guys who are on the outside texting people on the inside being like, no, please, I'm still based. Those guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hang out with Rince Priebus?

Yeah, Rince Priebus just bringing his own chainsaw. You're like, hey, I've got one too. No. Getting purged by Doge and you're like, no, my commitment to being based is still strong, you know? I watched the Metaverse video, by the way. It is like, there are like eight people there. It's been viewed like a hundred times.

Seven of them are Guardian journalists. Yeah, the members of the British House of Lords have never talked to anybody except Guardian journalists constantly stinging them. And Rince Priebus, I guess. Yeah, and Rince Priebus.