TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* Museum of Future 9/11s

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

    We go back into the whimsical world of flying cars, and Dubai’s plan to make them largely mandatory by 2026. Also - Riley invents a historical Euro-board game called Shadow Doge, ordinary Americans are given formal permission by the President to get their skin reversed by cartels, and fraud is legal again the world over. Get the full episode on Patreon! *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s UK Tour here: https://miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)  

That's not the only Doge in town. And this is what I really want to talk about with the Doge chat. Oh, is Venice back? In so many ways, it never left. Because another person who, Milo, I think you also love. I know this is your favorite guy in the UK. James Watt, the Brewdog guy. Yep, cursed individual.

He has decided to. Well, so far, what he has started is a post. A LinkedIn post. That's how it begins. Yeah, well, yes. True. I have a theory. I do have. Well that's how it begins. Yeah, well yes. True. I have a theory, I do have a theory, but continue, because I just wanna... He calls it Shadowdoge, which is an amazing name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not call it Brewdoge? Yeah, yes, yes, yes! Fuck! Yes! Yes! That was right there. It was right there.

This guy's a more cooking brother. No, what he's done there is instead of naming the thing that he wants to name, what he's named is a euros, like a German style board game that takes about five hours to run. It won Spiel des Jahres in like 2018. You've got like five different resources that are called like cloaks, masks, daggers, gold. Okay, so the aim is to start a more equitable society in the lagoon. But you must start in Ravenna.

And you have to collect these resources, yeah? On the Patreon bonus, we're doing a play along of us playing Shadow Doge. No, I would love. It takes like six episodes by the end of it. We fucking hate each other. No, I had three cloaks and two masks. I was able to trade that for six gold, which I've used to move myself up the influence

counter by two. If you look in the manual, it says that you can't play council of six on the Adriatic turn. You need at least 40,000 tons of wood and iron ore in order to start the more equitable society. The board itself is like a weirdly unnecessarily detailed, beautifully painted map of 13th century Venice. I am seeing the game of Shadow Doge so clearly. It's not about the foundation of Venice.

I see the game, in my mind's eye, as someone who has played the game Viticulture before. The game of Viticulture, you either drink or you die. First I snipe the Canada lobe, then I snipe the board game lobe. I'm just, I'm in your head. You're getting my lobes today. Yeah. Because I see such, I have such a clear vision of Shadow Doge. I think it is a game that is set at the height of the Venetian Empire. I think there are two decks that you draw every turn. You draw one from the Adriatic

and one from Overland and that's how you manage Italian and Near East politics. I think resources, I think that the, I don't know what the resources are. I know that they're wood and they're made of very tactile wooden counters. I know also that each player, okay, no one is the Doge. What you're trying to do is influence the Doge and you play as a family. You play as a family. Go directly to a lead line to Oubliat to do not pass go. Yeah, okay. You play as a- sorry, I'm designing a game here on the fly. For four players, you play as a family and every time the Doge dies, a parallel game begins of all of the

councils and choosing and you have to influence that so some of your family is the Doge and then you try to get more points the longer you stay Doge in your opponents. Two of them will have to ally to get rid of you but the only one of them can then be Doge! This is an amazing game! Wait, who lost the coin? There's a special coin that we have to flip and then someone like, you've ruined the game. You wouldn't, you can't just use a normal coin. Instead of that, what the guy from Brew Dog

has announced. Oh yeah, that. I forgot about that. I got so legitimately excited. The Brew Doge. I got so legitimately excited by thinking up how Shadow Doge would work. If you are a listener to the show and you do board game design or conceptualization, I want Shadow Doge would work. If you are a listener to the show and you do board game

design or conceptualization, I want Shadow Doge. Get in contact with me somehow. This is dangerously plausible for someone to actually do. Like, the threshold entry hit, you will have someone laminating like maps of Venice before very long. Oh yeah. God, we could do a trash chute to board game. Yeah, Shadow Doge. I mean, if fucking Truenon can do it, then why can't we? I think it should be a board game that has nothing to do with anything that the show, not like a soft bank, no. No, it's shadow joke. It's

played completely straight. So we're pivoting to becoming a game with workshop rival? Yeah, you have to build and collect like Venetian armies of condentieri. Or like, you know, because lots of people are sort of saying Wizards of the Coast have gone woke, right? So we would have to be like an anti woke Wizards of the Coast, producing Shadow Doge. This game that I sort of lost track of like halfway through your explanation. Don't worry. I've got it's right here. It's right here in my head.

There's like a four page manual that you just unfold into the biggest sheets of paper in the world. Sorry, four pages. Four? Yeah, four pages. A manual that looks like infinite jest. It's like a fucking King James Bible. I mean, I was going to say that the instructions in a pack of UNO cards is like 10 pages. I don't know why it's that long. No, this would be, yeah. This is a book. Yeah, you're looking at like various manuals and additional manuals. Can we get the cards

hand painted? Oh, of course. Yeah. I just wanted to play like a quick kind of like lunch break style game why are you handing me with this three ring binder why have you why have you given me 30 different tokens this is a new super travel dose okay you can play it on an airplane so the manual is only 800 pages long I've condensed it, and the game board fits onto an aeroplane travel tray. As long as you have another person with another tray next to them, that would be their half of the board.

Yeah, everyone's getting mad at me because I keep playing the shiny matchamp card during Shadow Dojo, I keep saying it's not a real card, but I keep... I'm getting fucking murdered on the expansions for Shadow Dojo. It feels like they're putting one out every two months. Yeah. Everyone wants to come over to mine tonight. We're going to play Shadow Doge Cretan Empire. We're going to play Shadow Doge 3 Rise of the Ottomans.

Yes. OK, I have to stop. Shadow Doge 2 Minoan Madness. I have to stop thinking. I forgot that we're talking about the actual quote unquote actual shadow dose. So no James Watt, the guy who's famously again is the invented electricity. That guy. Yeah. The guy who is in charge of making the Britain's most worst beer and even worse pub. Yeah, I agree with that pretty much. Tim Martin relieved to have had that taken off him. How are you worse at running pubs than the guy we talked about, Humphrey Smith,

who like runs in and screams at people for not having death by chocolate or whatever? How have you made a less appealing place to be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy who runs like a whimsical execution chamber. So it says, we are the UK's unofficial underground cousin very punk. Thank you James Mmm, the guy was like, yeah British people don't work hard enough. You have too much work-life balance Underground cousin of America's Department of Government efficiency. Here's what we are going to do We're going to use extensive freedom of information

Request to public bodies to delve into how our tax money is being spent. He wrote this on chat GBT said Delph money is being spent. He wrote this on chat gbt, he said, delf definitely wrote this on chat gbt. NARES If only someone had thought of this before, if any of it was some kind of network of crank right wing think tanks that spent most of their time doing exactly this. DELF Well they didn't have an entrepreneur on board, I guess. Except for all the entrepreneurs they did have on board. But they weren't punks, that's the difference. Put an anonymous hotline in place to report waste link in bio. We should link to that. An anonymous hotline?

Yeah. Do not. It's really important that we make the UK government more efficient. You don't even need to do this stochastic shit. The whole Doge thing is like, call us if you work with a trans person, and we will fully McCarthy them. You don't need to do that because if you work in the NHS with a trans person, all you need to do is start a fight with them in a changing room

and then go to an employment tribunal and the entire like national press is on your side. Like again, it's, it's this thing, it's the theme of the last few years of like deck that's stacked in your favor, not being stacked in your favor enough and feeling like you have to be an insurgent and like, you know, just like throw the whole thing away. It also is like very funny to me, like the whole premise of it is completely, I mean, because it's obviously like he's sort of looking at Elon right now. And the thing about like doing what Elon's doing with like the sort of federal government is very much about like, you know, he has like control, like from what I assume, like

the structure of the US government is one where like he's basically cutting like federal grants for most things, right? But in the UK, it's not really like that because like the central government in the UK, like, stopped funding most things a fairly long time ago. We have a doge. It's called the treasury. Right. We have a treasury that doesn't want to fund anything. I'll say, I'll say what the rest of what he said, which is we will publish a monthly report, which shows how your hard earned taxes are being spent. Again, that's just a Tufton Street think tank.

There are a million Tufton Street think tanks that do that. Right. Well yeah, it's being spent on fuck all, right? Because there's no money left and there's nothing being provided. What do they think they're going to uncover that the government is secretly spending all of this money on, other than the shit that they like, which is subsidies for big business. Yeah, I cannot imagine, well, what he's going to say, right? I know what he's gonna say.

He said, oh, we're gonna take an entrepreneurial approach to the public sector and highlight billions of pounds in savings and publish a league table of the worst defending bodies when it comes to wasting cash. And what he's going to say is anything that isn't police or military or anything in education that involves like making life slightly nicer for like students with disabilities. Anything that isn't in education that doesn't directly involve Catherine Bergelsing.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Educate the kids at the brew dock. That will save some money. Yeah. Why don't we take on apprentices at the age of six? They can clean the tanks. Their hands are small. They can get into crevices.

Yeah, we can shave all the young boys' heads to make them bald, and then they can mold themselves in the image of James What.