TRASHFUTURE - PREVIEW: Pod Save The King ft. Josh Boerman

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Without the guidance of their fearless leader Riley, the gang - joined by Josh Boerman of The Worst of All Possible Worlds podcast (http://worstpossible.world/) - are swept up in a monarchist fervour. Get the full episode on Patreon! If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture   *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We’re touring the Midlands, the North, and (one city in) Scotland in May! We’ll be in Birmingham on May 14, Leeds on May 15, Manchester on May 16, and Glasgow on May 21. Tickets are available here: https://www.trashfuture.co.uk/events   *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows and check out a recording of Milo’s special PINDOS available on YouTube here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRI7uwTPJtg *ROME ALERT* Milo and Phoebe have teamed up with friend of the show Patrick Wyman to finally put their classical education to good use and discuss every episode of season 1 of Rome. You can download the 12 episode series from Bandcamp here (1st episode is free): https://romepodcast.bandcamp.com/album/rome-season-1 Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

I also want to draw attention to our nation's funniest Prime Minister was in attendance, as she has to be, as she is contractually obliged to go to all of this shit because we're like, every living Prime Minister is here for ceremonial reasons, including the one we put in as a joke. The next 40 years, there's going to be so many more living Prime Ministers at stuff because we've got through so many in such a short space of time. Or it was only like two or three at any one time. This is why the robots were like strangling theirs, you know, but instead, no, our favorite Liz Truss appeared at the thing, wearing, first of all, the same dress that I wore to the Kill James Bond live show. I saw that. It is literally the same dress. It's literally the

same dress. It's the same dress. That's what I thought. I was like, those lapels are really unique. She fucking copied my style. No, she didn't. She didn't copy you. She missed a Ripley due. She fucking got missed a Ripley. First, the sub thing, then the dress. Next thing, you know, she's starting a podcast and I'm just out of a job, you know? She's going to fucking strangle me to death on a boat in the Bay of Capri. It's like over for me. She's going to restart the the Amber Rods sex podcast. Oh, cards. I can't even I say it's going to be it's going to be fucking her and Florida. Amber Rods out. There's a joke. There's a joke to be made in here somewhere about the talented Mr. Ripley, Alice and noted Broadway star Alice Ripley. And I can't find

it. And I wish I could. It's really getting at me. We'll get there. But like she won't have one. She wore the day collar to the fucking coronation, which seems a bit like not to be like, oh, you're spoiling Charles a special day. But like, come on, kink in public man. She's she's she's low key nice with it. It's an expression of subservience. Ultimately true. I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, he's a he's a kinky man. We know this. We've all seen the the tampon tampon thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Josh is looking. I just made a face. All that. What is this? Back in back when the media were in the business of hacking Royals phones, they got. Oh, yeah. They got his sex to Camilla. They got his horny text.

And oh, very good. And so he's just sexting her like, damn, wish I was your tampon. So I could be all up in the pussy like 24 sevens. Oh, that's great. I love that. That's actually I what I hate about that is that it makes them seem more like real people. You know what I mean? Like it's fucking weird. But I might seem like an old fossil, but I do love to bust a nut. If you've gotten pussy so good, it stresses you out. Let me tell you, in the early nineties, I had a lot of pussy that was stressing me out. Diana on one side, she's off fucking God knows who, some surgeon or something. You know, good Camilla, she pucks like a fucking oars.

And I'm just trying to keep away from the prying eyes of the press and still get my dick wedged. I mean, anyone will tell you it's girthy. It's not necessarily very long, but they don't make a cock ring ring enough. So I'm trying to put a cock ring on it on a tin of beans. My dick looks like one of the lesser known trains from Thomas the Tanglin. Complete with the smiling face on the top. Of course. I mean, one thing I will say, one thing I will say is Camilla's done fucking well, though, like a message shout out to all the side chicks out there, you know, just, you know, have a clear goal, have a clear vision, stick with it and just wait, you know, because you can be queen off of that shit.

You know, and that's that's really impressive dedication to me. What I appreciate about Charles, and I do think Charles is in some ways the realist demonic we've ever had sort of goes back to what I was saying before, you know, he loves a messy bitch. He loves like a lunatic posh totty. And I think that, you know, Diana and Camilla both fall into that category. Well, yeah, exactly. He should be on TF, right? He should be on TF. He'd be like, you know, seeing plenty more than caring that sort of give it a bit of a semi. Go ahead and say, honestly, I'd let a stamp on my face and piss on me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I do, I do just think, you know, he is, he is one of us. Whereas the queen,

I think, was more, you know, she was of that generation where she was just like, you know, she was like the royal robot, you know, she was everything was protocol. She's like, I can't hug my own children because it would be against the rules. Yeah. Not a horny woman in the slightest. I don't think really any time in her life. Yeah. I'm startling that she ever even fucked, which presumably happened given that she had kids, but it just beggars belief. Duke of Edinburgh just caught up with her occasionally. Right. Like a team of footmen like holding him back. Why separate bedrooms, seemingly by mutual agreement, because I did hear one story

from that when he was a young naval officer, Prince Philip was like in a bar and he threw a full pint glass across the room in anger and finding out that he was going to get married to her like he had to. So what? Yeah. That's what I had not know about this incredible naval vibes. Absolutely. But yeah. So I've recently, this is off topic, but I learned how, you know, you know, the actor Oliver Reed, who famously died during the filming of Gladiator. Yes. Right. I recently learned about the circumstances under which he died. Oh, I don't know the story. Which I think they were filming somewhere in Europe and he was in a bar drinking with a bunch

of Royal Navy sailors and he challenged them to a drinking competition. He'd had something like 12.8 shots and two liqueurs or something. He literally died from being too drunk? No. He collapsed of a heart attack while he was arm wrestling one of the sailors. Okay. I was just like, man, dude's fucking wrong. Yeah. I mean, that is a dude's rock moment. I gotta give him credit for that one. He died when he was told he had to fuck the crew. Sorry. She's used her power of Royal Vito. You've got to get over there. Yeah. The queen exercising the rice of prima nocta on Oliver Reed.

Reed Charles. Something has just been bouncing around in my head and I don't think it's anything, but I need to speak it out into the world. This sort of tamponal justice. Nope. That's not anything. Never mind. There we go. It's got like a tampon, like on the end, like a sort of like a smore on a like a marshmallow on a thing, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So in general, the coronation has been marked by, you know, our, the Metropolitan Police, our boys in blue, cracking down on protests,

using facial recognition technology to like pick people out of the crowd. They arrested a guy on suspicion of having eggs, which is very funny to me. Yeah. It's one of those old laws, having eggs in suspicious circumstances. Yeah. Because there's been an egg shortage for like months. I would arrest anyone to be like, where'd you get those eggs from? Do you know, do you like, I mean, I'm of all those eggs. The constitutional amendment of the United States to be secure in one's possessions famously was implemented because people wanted to preserve and can, you know, their eggs.

Well, it's the third amendment, the government can't store eggs at your house. That one too. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's a big one. It's one of the first amendment right to speak about eggs freely, you know? Yeah. Exactly. And then meanwhile, the Labour Party response to this has been David Lammey gave an interview, Labour MP, where he said that if Labour gets into government, there simply wouldn't be time to waste on repealing Tory legislation. You know, they'd be too busy with the economy and such like, they wouldn't be time to waste on repealing anti-protest legislation.

Don't you hate that when you just run out of time? It's so frustrating. You're in the exam. You're like, damn, I was going to repeal that protest law. But I spent all this time developing a tax credit for people who switched to an olive-flavoured vape. Right. And I just ran out of time. I ran out of time. You know, it happens to the best of us. And Keir Starmer's response has been to write an article for The Daily Telegraph, which is very boring. I skim read it on your behalf, but the headline is, with King Charles at the helm, Britain is on course to a brighter, fairer future. Absolutely. And how New Monarch's hands will shape a confident,

forward-looking country. They'll shape a fucking mis-shape of a country. Keir Starmer is doing the thing from the movie Ghost on King Charles. And together they're going to mould a beautiful, misshapen new nation.