TRASHFUTURE - PREVIEW: The Devon Report 2: Fight For Your Right to YourParty ft. Devon

Episode Date: August 16, 2025

Riley's away this week, so Nova is in charge of the bonus and welcomes Kill James Bond's very own Devon to the show to discuss - among other things - continued rulings from the EHRC making it more difficult to be trans in the United Kingdom... and then the phenomenon of people getting into relationships with ChatGPT. Check it out on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/posts/136623378?pr=true

David Lammy, on the other hand, has finally been arrested for his crimes, but not the ones that... Thank God. Yeah, he's going to, like, Belmarsh or whatever, but not for anything, you know, about the genocide, but for the far more heinous crime of fishing without a license. It's a very serious thing. I almost got done for that as well. Are they're like special cops for that? They're like fisheries, like enforcement guys? No, there's just like snitches. And so I had like, I was, I went, I went fishing and like, where I used to live there's like this little

I mean there's no fish in that because it's like polluted like fucking Thameswater right you have to have a license to fish unsuccessfully in this country but I've got like my rod there make some guy like comes up to me and he's just like literally says oh have you got a license so I was like what do you mean have you got a license like oh you know you have to have a license

someone comes up to you and you're like are you doing the bit from my show but are you doing a license have you recognized me and you've thought of this as a funny thing to do or am I fucked but then he like legit shows me his license and I was like oh okay I don't actually have one. And he was like, yeah, don't worry about, well, you know, there's not really any fish here anyway.

So then he just sort of tells me that, like, he's here because, like, it's the only place that he's able to, like, get away from his wife. And I hear this thing, like, for, like, for, like, a solid half an hour, I think, at least about how, like, him and his wife, they were, like, so much in love. And then, you know, things drifted away. Jesus. Talk about a captive audience. Like, you're not wading away from that conversation.

I think it's funny to establish that you are breaking the law and then he's got you and he can talk about his wife for as long as possible in the same way but like they get like nonces on TikTok and then just like hold them there and like are you going to run away or are you going to let us do bits at you for like 25 minutes and they're like

you can do bits at me okay I do enjoy those like those parts of the video where like they're waiting for the policeman they're waiting with the police officer to come and like obviously like police officers take fucking ages to go anywhere so it's like okay what do you do for the next half an hour while you are live streaming your pedo watching thing yeah you make a two a minute

silence. Yeah, you do have, you've still got another 20 minutes at that point. It's worse than getting to the fucking airport early. You're just stuck with this guy. You're just happy to think of things to do minutes silences for just to run the clock out. Different wars. Yeah, Ben, man, I don't know.

Korea. No one remembers that one. That's right. So, yeah, David Lammy, our foreign secretary, has been trying to do, because J.D. Vance is on vacation. It's vacation season. He's on vacation on the Cotswolds and has now come up to Sky. I know. And as part of our kind of national strategy of dealing with Trump of like maximum

bootlick, kind of getting as as obsequious with it as possible, we've genuinely tried to essentially like ingratiate ourselves, right? Like, and so Lammy's the kind of point man on this. And his way of doing this is to become BFF's with Vance by going fishing together, I guess. And someone pointed out that, oh, hey, you actually do need the license to do this, which is insane. Well, that's his fault because he refused to talk to the guy about his wife and his marital issues. What do you think JD was talking about? You think Usher is happy?

Like, I'm sorry. David Lammy, just sitting there trying to get away. Oh, my God. The other part of the story, and I imagine this is like why we were talking about Tom Skinner at the upsets because Tom Skinner, like, came to the Cotsworts to hang out of JD. And the question I immediately had when I heard this news was, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when Tom Skinner introduced himself to J.D. Vance his wife, right? Because both of those, both J.D. Vance and his wife are like snops. They are like,

and their whole personality is like, I went to Yale law. Genuinely, this is a thing. Like, if you look at like a lot of JD, like, the whole like hillbilly elegy thing. And I, I, I hadn't read the book and I have no plan to, but I did like see the film like many years ago. And obviously the premise is very much just, and like the film, I think from what I've heard is even worse, because the whole thing is like, you know, he's struggling to get away from like, you know, his community that like lack sort of what you call it, lack standards and sort of like, lack the value of education. And like Yale is the place where like, you know, he finds the freedom.

And so much of it is just like Yale, yell, yell, yell, yell. And someone's like the JD Vance Law, which is, you know, his mentor slash main teacher at Yale was Amy Chua. Yeah, the tiger mum. I remember her. The tiger mum, who like, the book for Tiger Mum sort of made everyone sort of forget that she was also like one of the sort of neoliberal advocates, real ghoul as well, like very much like sort of like, like forever war supporter.

You know, a lot of her writings are very much about like, you. in defense of American imperialism and everything. So she's teaching, like, she's teaching him and also influencing him at Yale, all of which is to say that Yale and, like, that whole legacy is so important to that family. And then at the end of that, we've brought you this oath. We have brought you one of our treasured oafs. This is the finest, like, cultural figure of our country, and you just hear a distant Bosch.

Yeah, check this guy out. He says Bosch. Is that, like, that's what we've got. A slowly approaching Bosch, cresting a hill. Bosch And I can't Yeah And I just

I can't I can't do accents But I do really I really wanted to be a fly on the wall When Tom Skinner introduces himself to Usha I thought that would just be amazing Well here's the thing as well

Is that like I swore some time ago That I would never feel sorry For a kind of For someone who was like That complicit in genocide But I do feel sorry for David Lammy In the sense that he has been ordered

To stand No I don't Stand thigh deep in a In like a kind of alarming warm English pond standing next to the most. It's full of shit as well, you know it. Oh, of course.

Tirds floating by talking to J.D. Vance and Tom Skinner. God, yeah. No good at all. Speaking of Vance in the Cod's world, did you see that the U.S. Secret Service was just knocking on people's doors that lived near where J.D. was staying to ask them for their

social media handles. Yeah, it's illegal to add him. It's amazing. You can only have posted, like, if you've posted one of those sort of like wide J.D. Vance memes, they'll kill you. They'll fly a drone through your chimney. But so this is the thing, right? The Cotswolds is now completely locked down everywhere in Britain, like free speech is completely compromised. And this means that we live in a kind of police state that, you know, is going to be chiefly familiar to those of our listeners in Washington, D.C. because I hear that the fascism has, again, taken an alarmingly impulsive lurch

when Edward Corristeen, aka Big Balls, aka man with a name like a really bad scannulation of a Constantine comic, was he was carjacked in D.C. And or allegedly carjacked and Trump was like, it is now time to federalize all of D.C. And so they've got these like federal agents. They've got like the FBI and the ATF, just kind of walking around.

It's going to be so good for American children in like 100 years to hear. that the next Reichstag fire was like they carjacked big balls and that was when it just started going. Yeah. What are we doing, man? I mean, this is the thing. This is why you've got to know not to carjack big balls.

I mean, it's just really, really strange and particularly now, it's kind of like as with the Los Angeles National Guard thing, right? Like, the stuff that they want to do is obviously extremely bad and they can do a lot of it, but at some level it kind of has to intersect with reality,

right? And if you're going to send a bunch of guys and in like tactical vests to like walk around like DuPont Circle or whatever the fuck I'm going off a Fallout 3 geography here don't get mad at me but if you're if you're like sending those people to walk around looking for like MS-13

or like the guys who I assume tortured big balls to death right he's not just fine he didn't get over it they're not going to fucking find anything because that shit isn't happening well I mean immediately as a time of recording and so I guess on day of release

tomorrow, Mayor Muriel Bowser is collaborating with the Trump administration on a homeless encampment clearance. So that'll be fun. That's great. This is exactly why your fucking city got occupied, Muriel, is because you were like obeying in advance to this guy and you're just doing it again now. Something particular about American mayors is that they always have an anti-homeless thing that they are like having the chamber ready to go. And it's kind of like after a couple of days of it becoming obvious that there was nothing for these guys to do. It's like, oh, I can just used them for my thing, which I was very keen on anyway, which is to just kind of like force every homeless person outside of town. This also kind of was one of the things that

prompted it from Trump is he saw some homeless people out of his motorcade on his way to a golf course and was like, all right, martial law, I guess. We've got to deal with this. Genuinely, just disgusting. Offensively stupid, apart from anything else. But yeah, so obviously we look forward to DC being liberated from the kind of tyranny of guys just wandering around shining flashlights and not finding anything. And likewise

also the Cotshawds. There was some like lions led by donkeys type shit. Not lions led by donkeys. That's a good podcast. There was some led by donkeys did some bullshit. There was some led by donkey shit happening in the Cotshorts where I don't know if you saw this. They had a van with like screens on every surface.

Fuck I didn't see this. Showing the like bald wide JD advance meme just driving around the Cotswolds. I would think that that was Reddit shit if it wasn't 100% clear that that does bother him. Oh yeah. He's he's online, he's seen it,

it's being posted in the Discord group full of 19 year old season and he is going to try and ban you from mentoring the US if you have that image saved on your phone. So yeah, this is all apt, you know. I think I do, I think I do have it on my phone. Yeah, sorry, they're going to go through it, they're going to check you know, they're just going to ask you, instead of

like, you know, drawing a clock for neurologically they're going to ask you to draw a J.D. Vance. And if the J.D. Vance looks fucked up in any way like you've seen one of those in your life, then you go straight to Seckart. I don't remember what a real J.D. Vance looks like.