TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* The French Lieutenant's Win

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

  This was not an episode that were happy to record, in the sense that—gallows humour aside—this sucks! It's bad. But, for this immediate post-mortem bonus episode, Riley, Milo, and November discuss the US election... as well as the Labour party's cosying up to Trump, the future trends you can predict in British politics, and the fact that the UK now has at least four Pod Save America equivalents. Get the whole episode on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/115595200 MILO ALERT Check out Milo’s UK Tour here: https://miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows TRASHFUTURE LIVE SHOW ALERT We will be live in London at Between the Bridges on Sunday, November 24! Get tickets here. Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)

It's the genius of Theo again, did his neighbor polling. It's the, you ask the columnist, well, what do you think the electorate wants? And then they tell you what they want. They've gone too gay. Come on. It's Goldman Sachs, not hold man's sacks. Episode title hold man's sacks. DB stands for Deutsche Beg, not dude's balls. Yeah. That's right. The B stands for Deutsche Beg, not Dude's Balls. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. KPMG kissing the penises of men brackets gay. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, it's not a woman doing it. Let's be clear. It's Adam and Eve, not Ernst and Young. So Young is like a strange boy's first name. Yeah. It's not Ernst Norman who's Young's. Jesus Christ Riley, you fully took me out. It's HSBC, not happily sucking boys. Oh my God. How did we get to dick on dick gay entertainment? There we go. What does this British finance institution slagging each other off in the way that American truck owners do? I didn't, I didn't think this was a gay bar, but there was a KPMG company car parked outside Anyway anyway, look the newsagents actually on the podcast they said all that stuff about like banks and consulting firms

It's not easy that Maitla said that said the absolute like I I really didn't think she had it in it Especially in that voice, you know work. We're quoting them when we said that DB stands for Dicks and Balls, not Deutsche Bank. What is the difference? Anyway, it's that look, it doesn't matter the campaign Trump ran. It doesn't matter that like the gripper that he hired without oversight was able to book Tony Hinchcleff. No, it is very funny that that happened and it's more funny that it didn't matter at all. Yeah, and it's the same lessons it didn't matter at all. Yeah. And it's the same lessons are gonna be, like, whatever, I dunno, like, Kenny Badenock books to comedian from Benidorm.

I'll be senior. No, she's gonna get the fucking free speech comedy hour on, it's gonna be like the hosts of Trigonometry are gonna be on in front of her. Hello, conservative party conference, it's me, Francis Foster. My mum's from Venezuela. I googled it. It's that people hate liberal centrist campaigns even when they make no strategic mistake. Cause Lewis Goodall, there was no strategic mistake. The strategic mistake was running as an incumbent. The strategic mistake was made repeatedly since 2020. The strategic

mistake never stopped getting made. And so the strategic mistake that Starmer is making, he's making in his campaign, he's making now, whatever mistake he will make, that will make him a one term prime minister is not going to be where he goes, what he says, what endorsements he gets or doesn't get. Or if like, Kemmy Badenok books like the sort of comedian in the polyester Union Jack suit who lives and works in Benidorm. None of that's going to matter. The mistakes are being made at the moment by allowing every council to go

bankrupt and basically just eliminating bin collection. Well, this is why I kind of, I had a bad feeling about the election on the day because I did a, I did a tick tock being like, you know, what are they, what are they going to choose? Are they going to go with the incel guys or the wine mums? Like, what is, what's going to happen? And then I had so many American libs yelling at me on TikTok saying like, why you had to vote for the Democrats because of this and that.

And they were all just listing things. Well, why didn't you vote for the Democrats? Yeah. Great question. I mean, I voted for them multiple times. And then while I was like, yeah, I get that what you're saying is funny, but people shouldn't take it seriously. It's like, that's why it says comedian at the top.

But then they were all just like listing things that Biden wasn't doing anything about and I'm just like, a Democrat is president now! Why is it not possible to do any of this now? All that matters at this point is, are you going to manage the risks that your electorates face that are coming from international pressures? Regardless of what those pressures are, are you competent to manage them? And, or are you willing to manage them? Do you have the levers to pull? No. And with a deck that they stacked themselves, American neoliberals still weren't able to win with that one. And I think the other thing about this, right, there is one way out, and I've thought about this quite a lot, right? Here's how she can still win. It's straightforward from here. We have a Supreme Court precedent saying that any official act that a president takes in

office he can't be criminally liable for. So Joe Biden invites, calls Donald Trump, congratulates him, invites him to a transition meeting at the Oval Office with Vance and then kills both of them. You get to a red wedding situation. Yes, yes. Exactly. I want to come back over to the UK though, right? Because I want to have one quote.

It's the first time anyone's ever said that. Yeah. It's from John McDonald, who says, The key lesson for the Trump victory for us is that labor has to deliver the significant improvement in quality of life that people can feel, or we will face the rise of the right-wing populism that has swept America. Half measures won't be enough. Number one, we've already faced the rise of that right-wing populism.

Number two, that's right, but you lost. You lost. Yeah, John McDonnell here in the kind of like, understare cabinet cell that the socialist campaign group are being kept in. Yeah. Like, Labour Together is going to look at the American election, and they are going to continue to do what they are doing, which is facilitate massive giveaways to friends and developers and all this stuff.

Well people love that. Allow councils to go bankrupt. That's not that's not all they're gonna do. They're gonna they're gonna fit in a small boats week here and there. They're gonna they're gonna ban transition. Uh, maybe they're gonna pick it like a, uh, it'll just be like, fuck November Kelly specifically week just to really give me the kind of gang stalking. That also sounds like something you would organize. But also, right? In addition to facilitating those giveaways while in power, they're going to happily fundraise from those same people in the bad knock for our coalition

government. The Labour party would fuck up a fuck November Kelly week. They would all come in the fluffer. I mean, the, and so, you know, it's like like how big do you want to go with your small boats week? Do you want small boats month small boats quarter? How about this? Starmer government rings in the century of the small boat. Mmm, none of this will work. Do you use it using a Japanese era name so that you refer to Keir Starmer, like not with his name, but as like small boats prime minister. The small boats period. Yeah. It's like mindfulness. 20 minutes a day of thinking about the small boats.

Imagine a future archaeologist finding, imagine a future archaeologist. I know it's a stretch. I know it's a stretch, but come with me on it. Digging down and finding- Something you might hear at fuck November Kelly week. And finding a layer of sediment being, ah yes, the small boats geological epoch. Yeah. Look, I think people are overflowing external risks and pressures.

The Beaker people faced external risks and pressures. The sea people faced external risks and pressures. The sea people were the external risk and pressure, I think you'll find. The Mycenaeans faced external risks and pressures. And all of these people are still going today. The kingdoms of the Bronze Age really survived in the nation states of the present. That's right. What I'm going to do is I'm going to take the half man half bull son that my wife has

had and I'm going to lock him in a big maze. And I can't see this being a problem with the socialist campaign group. Yeah. All we need to do is feed him some Athenian virgins every nine years. I think that's a reasonable approach. We've sent a ship full of gifts for the neighboring great king. Hopefully it won't sink. Anyway, right? Just say they're going to lose this election.

They're going to get like, I don't know, Amber Rudd and Theresa May's endorsement. They're going to say, I no longer recognize this conservative party. Then they're going to eat shit. The only reason they won. Emergency Amber Rudd and Flora Gale podcast. The only reason that Starmer and Co. won was because the incumbent was very, very, very unpopular, just like all the other elections in 2024.

They're only now continuing to govern as a campaign against the previous incumbent incompetent. Already everyone hates them. And the competent is moot if it's competent at running a system that is no longer functioning, if it's no longer plugged in. If your risk managing system is not managing risk, then what you're doing is basically peddling a bicycle that is not

attached to anything. The good news is, right, the good news is that we had a do-over, right, and that's why Stammer is in, is because we had our, like, Leninist like revolutionary sort of like right-wing taking the sort of norms and the institutions by storm government in the form of Liz Truss, and she just happened in a moment of British excellence that for me makes her one of the figures of all time, you know? My favourite historical figure of the small boats period. Managed, again, with the deck stacked in her favour, to fuck it up so badly, so quickly, that the entire moment was squandered. And they have to do it again. They have to respawn and they have to do

it again. Well again, Mandate of Heaven, they, God killed the Queen to be like, get rid of this woman. And so like, now we're running slightly out of sync with America. We're doing all of the same things because we have ruling classes that are as defensive of themselves. We have quote unquote progressive elite groups that are as resistant to cycling out, right? We're facing a lot of the same pressures. We don't have the benefit of a global reserve currency, but we are facing them in a slightly different order. Anyway, I do think now it's funny. I want to end on a very brief reading, which is of course about Starmer and Trump working together. Twice during Sir Keir Starmer's first dental with Donald Trump at the end of September,

the former president said to the turn to the Prime Minister and said you're a liberal so we won't always agree but we can work together. At the end of the meal he looked at Starmer and said you and I are now friends. Sometimes that kind of autistic confidence is very very fun. Can you imagine how furious all of Donald Trump's children are about this? Like this is a level of affection they have never received true looking at my son and being like we are we are now father and son big handshake Oh, yeah, it's Trump turning to star room being like I always wanted a son Don jr. Pressed up against the windowpane. We're just doing Roman politics

Man can you I'm gonna make you my son. We're gonna make a deal Trump