TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* The Governor in the Iron Mask feat. Mattie Lubchansky

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

For this week's bonus, we're joined by writer, cartoonist, host of No Gods No Mayors, and friend of the show Mattie Lubchansky to discuss the goings on in New York City. The general consensus of the local Democratic Party: get behind the primary winner, Zohran Mamdani! The general consensus of the freaks and ghouls contingent: get weird with it! Fight with each other! Try to hate on New York City as much as possible while still hoping people will vote for you! Could anyone have seen this coming? Pre-order Mattie's book here! Get the whole episode on Patreon here! *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s tour dates here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/liveshows *TF LIVE ALERT* You can get tickets for our show at the Edinburgh Fringe festival here! Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)

One side is actually coalescing behind their candidate and the other side doesn't really have one. Yeah. Well, again, because specifically because the only other people are just narcissistic maniacs. Yeah. Essentially like it's Andrew Cuomo in his iron mask, posting a silent video where he helps somebody jump, jump their cars. OK, you sent me this information, actually, that like car ownership in New York City almost perfectly predicts whether you voted Zorhan or Cuomo It was a great article in I want to say Jalopnik

Yeah, I want to say yeah and like it is, you know, and I think owning a car in New York is like a pretty good Yeah, I was by the homie Amber De Silva. Amber De Silva. Shout out Amber. Yeah, and she was with the Ski Dude. She was with the S dude. She's with this dude. But car ownership basically in New York City is like, are you a person that exists in the world, everybody else or do you own a car? Because do you get around on public transit and have to interact with your neighbors? Or are you like a little box getting around and everyone's your enemy? And it also lines up pretty well with like a lot of economic status stuff, because it's very expensive to have a car in New York, and transit is fairly affordable.

So yeah, and it's just so funny for like, and there was this whole stuff during the primary where Cuomo basically refused to campaign, right? And so much of it was him getting in and out of his car, and then there's a video a while ago that they caught him leaving an event, and he makes a right on a red light to get away from everybody, which is a thing you can do in the suburbs, but not in the limits of New York City, which is so funny. Doing the like three beers thing from Inglorious Bastards, but for right there to find yourself as not being a New Yorker.

I mean, essentially, I mean, they tried to like, they tried to do a Zoran-esque video for his launch. I don't know if you all saw this. It was so good. It was so awesome. Cause he's standing there and he's like, hello, people of New York, I love you. And I am coming to your house. I am ready to interact with you. And then like blood starts coming out of his eyeball.

Oh, my God, he's the Rory Stewart of New York City mayoral races. He's going to visit you in your house and be weird. New York, I am ready to appear in your mirror. Like, actually, fucking yeah, like he says, like, oh, I wasn't out there enough and I'm going to be out there earning your vote. And then like in the, there was like a, yeah, there was like a puff piece about the launch in like New York magazine. And it mentioned in it that yeah, during the filming

of that ad he helped somebody jump their car, I guess, because he loves cars so much. And then he posted on, I guess, threads a wordless video of him helping somebody jump their car. And then he goes to shake the guy's hand. In a normal video, you see Zoran dapping up random people on the street constantly. And Cuomo tries like shake the guy's hand And it just like it's just as wiggly fucking dead fish like slap He just kind of like slaps with the guy's hand and they like somebody zoomed in on it And it's just the most deranged like you've never touched a person before that's like That wants to be touched by you a and is not rich or connected right like yeah, yeah, it's the Italian handshake

Yeah, it's like in all of the videos he had and I have a lot of that article by the way to go through at The end in all of the videos that he does where he talks It especially after he's lost and he's trying to imitate like what he thinks are on did which is be good on camera Yeah, he's talking like he's going to go to your house and be like I can clean your garage And I do some raking. Yeah, but it's so obvious that he's just not like the whole thing about like it is it is the fundamental sort of friction between like the New York City governor and the New York City mayor. The issue is generally the mayor is somebody who is from here, lives here and likes the city, even

if they have like different ideas for like what I like. That's why like these Republican, like millionaires that run for office, like John Katsimatidis, like 10 years ago, or eight years ago, whatever it was, like they don't like living here. They don't live here all the time. Like they are not New Yorkers and you can tell. Whereas like the whole thing was on his campaign, like aside from like his policies being attracted to people, is that you can, you watch him and it's so obvious that he likes to be here and like likes like street culture and likes neighbors and you know,

he walks around the city and interacts like a person you know. And Cuomo just straight up doesn't, he doesn't like the city he never did because as governor you're not supposed to. And also he hasn't lived here for a long fucking time. And he just, he has no, he doesn't know, like we can just tell if you don't know how to interact like any big city right you

can just tell if someone's not fucking from here and that was a really crucial things actually my my wife the food writer Jai Saksana pointed this out to me is that Andrew Cuomo he was asked in an interview with the New York Times what is like what is bodega order was and he said a what is a bodega he said a bacon cheese and egg. The thing is like it rolls off the tongue. You say bacon, egg and cheese when you're at the fucking deli. Right.

Like, and even people not from here know that now, but it's like, it is the thing. It's just like, it is the holding up the three fingers thing. And what Jaya figured out is that it's alphabetical and it is how most fast food places list that sandwich. One egg and bacon, please. And also he says, like, but I try not to eat the bacon, which also implies that he gets a pre-made sandwich fucking somewhere like a Starbucks.

Whereas like at any deli in New York City, you just order what you fucking want. He also gets on an English muffin, which is like most delis don't have those. But fucking Starbucks's always do. Starbucks. That's a common takeaway. Bacon, cheese, and egg, fucking English muffin. Same much, they do. Yeah. Do you remember when Sean Bailey was running for mayor of London on the conservative ticket and he went and campaigned somewhere that wasn't in

London? But he like thought it was. It was like someone just outside London, like in like the suburbs, but it was like not eligible to vote in the London mayor. It wasn't like Oxbridge, but it was like somewhere like, I think Oxbridge is technically in London just about, but it was like not eligible to vote in the London mayor. It wasn't like Oxbridge, but it was like somewhere like, I think Oxbridge is technically in London just about, but there was like somewhere he went and it was like not in London and he was like going around shaking hands and stuff and it was like, none of these people are eligible to vote for you.

They do not live in the city. It's got a hundred percent, he's polling a hundred percent in Gatwick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Very, very popular in Potter's Bar. And the thing is Bill Ackman, he's treats everything like an investment everything like an activist investment campaign.

And so he decided he wanted to pick his winner for the New York City mayoral race. So he said, after meeting with both for an hour on Tuesday, my choice is clear. It was abundant and clear in Cuomo's body language, his subdued energy, and his proposals to beat Mamdani that he is not up for the fight. Mayor Adams is ready to go to battle, guns blazing with enormous energy and his proposals to beat Mamdani that he is not up for the fight. Mayor Adams is ready to go to battle guns blazing with enormous energy and clarity on why Mamdani and his communist we must seize the means of production and anti NYPD policies would be catastrophic for New York City. Adams is a great campaigner who can lead the grassroots effort needed to defeat Mamdani and as

mayor he is a great platform to tell his story. The story by the way will make any sense. It will begin you don't have to. It will begin in Istanbul. Something as simple as a crack pipe. He's going to an app site with many different locations. Pavlovian, that was just, yeah. It was just there. So Bill Ackman, however, also said, Eric's first term, I have to acknowledge, has not

been without flaws. He relied too much on the Turkish intelligence service. Eric Adams' first term has developed not necessarily to our advantage. In particular, he relied too much on friends of Adams to staff his administration. However, when one looks at his record in totality, it's very strong. For example, on affordability. Because affordability is the main thing that everyone's talking about, except for Sliwa, of course. Eric Adams, by the way, approval rating of about 20% at the moment. Yeah, better than Keir Starmer, which is very funny. That is quite funny.

No, Istanbul is always the first stop. That's right. Maybe Keir should start doing that. Yeah, he would take bribes from the Turkish government. Yeah, I reckon that could work. I mean, in London, that could work. Yeah, actually, that could work. Big Turkish community. Maybe they'd be on board. Yeah, to vote for him for mayor.

But it all talking about affordability, right? I mean, I mean in London, like a big Turkish community. Man, would that be on board. To vote for him for mayor. Yeah. But it all talking about affordability, right? Zoran was like, hey, we should do something about affordability and then said, here's what we can do about affordability. Whereas Adams and Cuomo have to be like, we're gonna do something around the, you're gonna say a lot of words about affordability,

but we're not really, we're gonna sort of say this is all other stuff. Again, Curtis Lee was view and affordability is just to like arm every white New Yorker basically.. Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, it's like Curtis Lee was dream for New York is like a Bernie gets on every in every driveway. Like that's all he has. And also a cat in every, every home. He loves cats. He loves cats so much. He's such a funny person. He's a real... Contains multitudes. The Adams administration has taken a significant step with rezoning and in its City of Yes legislation

to set the stage for the development of more than 130,000 units of affordable housing. Adams also has the confidence of the, and this is my favorite sentence here, on the affordability, the housing affordability part, says, Adams has the confidence of the New York City real estate community. Oh good. I mean, that's an important caucus, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

People of real estate. Yes. Yeah. There was. Yeah. That's like the one thing is like the only united front are like the CEOs and the billionaires who live here or, you know, live here 49 percent of the time who are like obsessed with with with with killing the candidacy of Zoran. Like there was a like the Zoran met with them yesterday, I think. Like the partnership for New York, which is like all the CEOs. And he got in big trouble because he wouldn't commit to keeping Commissioner Jessica Tisch

as the police commissioner. And when her dad, Jim Tisch, the billionaire stood up to be like to demand his daughter remain police commissioner, Zoran did not recognize him and all the CEOs got mad. I remember I saw I saw some journalists writing this up was like bad meeting for Zoran and it's like no bad meeting for you guys surely if you're standing up to be like sir please don't fire my daughter and you're like and the guy's like huh who's your daughter how can you not recognize Jim Tisch he's one third of Badum Tisch right you know when you know when someone makes a joke at a vaudeville show? He's the guy who invented that.

That's why he's a billionaire. He gets a dollar for every rim shot. That's right. That's pretty good. And it's just so funny for Ackman to be like, I'm not buying the election. What are you talking about? And then a room full of like 300 billionaires

just being like, well, we're buying the election, right, boys? Oh no, Ackman's not buying the election. We're buying the election so my daughter can stay in her do nothing job. That's right. God, how many jobs in New York are do nothing? I swear to God. Police commissioner. Yeah, I was gonna say.

Yeah.