TRASHFUTURE - PREVIEW: The Queen’s Own Regiment of Captchaliers

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

King Salman visited Neom so we take back everything bad we said about it. Also, we check in on our old friend Cooler Screens (they're going amazing, we assume). Then, a company whose "data engine" for improving AI output (including for the military) is just tens of thousands of task-workers in the global south. Finally, we review the 100000th proposal to fix Britain by reinstating National Service for youths. If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here: https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Cooler screens, I haven't actually read, I'm just going to read this for the first time. Cooler screens has filed, I assume the next word here is huge profit. No, it's all right for. Cooler screens has filed a 200 million dollar lawsuit against wall screens. I was really hoping for a full bankruptcy, but this will do too. I mean, this is my favorite part of the like any cycle of any style stuff we do is the sort of like the start of the like any cycle of any style set we do is the sort of like vex, well, I mean, vexations, the like litigation. Yeah.

Right. Everybody's suing everybody else. I was actually hoping for different cooler screens as filed, the serial numbers off their entire stock of weapons in an expectation of coming economic problem. Just problems, huh? Yeah. Just we may need to defend what we have. Yeah, so we may need to defend

whatever's behind these screens. And so to remind you, right, as Alice or I believe you mentioned, cooler screens was a company that sold a fridge door that showed you what was on the inside of the fridge door, but without a glass just with screens. But in addition to doing that, hopefully, it would also collect huge amounts of information on what people, on who was coming near,

what they were doing and so on and so on. I forgot it did that. I mean, I guess they kind of really wanted you to forget it did that. But yeah, I forgot that it also like assessed how happy you looked or whatever. Yeah, it's by it on you. Anyway, so cooler screens has filed a $200 million

lost against Walgreens. And if you recall, the founder of cooler screens was a CEO of Walgreens until 2014. So that really smacks of rudeness that they would then be involved in litigation. Yeah, real betrayal there, I would say. Some really heightened emotions in the cooler business, which is ironic What he's word for Walgreens, so he knows their weaknesses. Yeah, so Greg last one was his name

We're very funny to do this is a kind of like cyberpunk thing and be like yeah, the the Zibatsu Walgreens, you know Yeah, yeah Corporate assassins have been dispatched to your location I Yeah, yeah. Corporate assassins have been dispatched to your location. I mean, I could just yell like the, the Walgreens kill team, that they are nothing to fuck around with, you know. Yeah, I'm a console cowboy, jacking into the Lucas A display.

Yeah, I mean, you don't want to fuck with like cooler screens, unless you want to find out what like the status of all of your organs is without having to like look through. You fuck up, you fuck around with cooler screens and you're like, what the hell? Monofilament cyber katana, what's that? So, cooler screens is about a $200 million lawsuit against Walgreens because Walgreens terminated their business

relationship and was by far their biggest client surprisingly. Uh-oh. Merely for the crimes of being a dumb idea that didn't work. You have, you know, you're not, you know, holding onto our services, we will see you in court. Did it also not work? Because it's, like, it's very stupid, but it's like fundamentally quite unambitious. Well, it didn't work in a very, I'd say,

Britain way. Okay. I'm excited now, because that's always good. If something doesn't work in a very, I'd say, Britain way. Okay. I'm excited now, because that's always good. If something doesn't work in a Britain way, that means it's fucking stupid. Yeah, I tried to open the fridge and it gives me an electric shock through the handle because it's like gender not matching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they somehow facilitated Peter Filier in some way. Cooler screens do not facilitate particularly in any way. If you accidentally locked a child in the fridge. The last thing we wanted to happen. Well, it would be a great fucking cute style conspiracy theory that the only reason they're taking the glass out of the fridge doors

is because they're hiding children in there and they don't want you to know. That is exactly where those people's minds would go. That's exactly true. Yeah, that's why, yeah, because like you get the milk out of the fridge, that's a dream of Chrome. And the reason why you don't know that is because of an opaque fridge door. So, I'm going to tell you what happened, right?

The rollout started in 2018 when we talked about it. Yeah. Or a little earlier than we talked about it. It feels like such a long time ago. We talked about it in 2019, anyway. It was halted after a new CEO, Roz Brewer, took over Walgreens and then saw the screens for the first time. Like, first day on the job, okay, what's the new stuff that we're doing here at Walgreens? Well, we've got these screens terrible, immediately kill this.

Well, that's not so far wrong. This is what Ross said. She said, after a visiting stores in which smart doors had been installed, Brewer decided that she did not like the way they looked, purportedly comparing the screens to Vegas in a derogatory way. Yeah, I mean, she is. That's such a weird beef. But it's such a weird pull for that though, Vegas though.

Like I guess kind of a video poker machine, if you squint, but I'm curious as to how these went wrong that that was what she went to. I think she just, she just, this looks stupid and tacky in his terrible whole body. Yeah. They brought in like a like a loose European CEO who was like, yeah, I don't like these fridges that ugly. That's something more streamlined.

I don't, I don't want to see. It's just cowboy beckoning to me. But why is that an advert for Neon on the fridge? I want to see if they have crime hydration on them. This is Vayne Newton. Yeah. Why am I seeing this? Why is that image of Luke Maudelay?

So I'm so sorry, I don't need to see this. China before communism. No, I do like the idea of going and being like, way Newton in my walk re greens get out of here. Walgreens said there were huge technical issues with cooler screens, such as flickering images, inaccurate persistent inaccurate inventory displays and electrical issues.

Oh, cool. I mean, the flickering is a fun thing, just like triggering your epilepsy with a fridge. So it also does electric heat you, which is a very British thing, well done. Yeah. We had some issues with the cooler screens where they kept periodically flickering and then displaying the videotape from the ring.

We apologize to any affected customers. Sort of self-limiting after a week, though, to be honest. Yeah. I also do enjoy the flickering images in inaccurate inventory displays. That's just environmental storytelling in a cyberpunk game. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I opened this fridge and all I found in there was like an expired bottle of seven-up and an audio log from the engineer who left it there in which he gets killed. Like, it's kind of hack right in me. His last words were,

Monofilament Katana, what the hell is that? Yeah, I think the wargreens kill team has found me and then it just cuts off. What I enjoy though is just the, like, just walking up and seeing a happy sort of advertising display on a screen, you say, oh, we've got all this Lucas Aider or whatever, they're opening it up and then it flickers for a moment.

It just always a dingy empty interior, perfect cyberpunk story. The Walgreens killed team, led by the man known as the one armed bandit, cyborg, Lucamodridge. Walgreens terminated the client agreement in February and as part of the termination, wants cooler screens to pay to Uninstall everything unfortunately you're shit out of our Walgreens Unfortunately the doors are custom built to fit Walgreens chillers only and cannot be repurposed to go anywhere else

That's amazing. We're about to have, for the world's best idea, are going to generate a gigantic amount of electronic waste. I mean, we can diversify here. Much like Twister was selling our four of its old office furniture under Elon Musk, we could get into this. We could be, as well as a bank and a special purpose acquisition's corporation and an oil refinery. We could also be an LCD door warehouse. LCD door warehouse. I think I went and stole them and

hacked me. I remember when they did their residency in Brixton, that was fun. But that is that's cooler screens. Unfortunately, it seems as though yet another idea, another business we profile seems to be facing our time. You ever think about how in the novel White Noise, the supermarket is a kind of proxy for capitalism and like American luxury? Well, I think now also maybe it's that bad. You think maybe the supermarket is entered

a phase of terminal decline? I don't wanna put like two declarative a name on it like that, but I'm serious concerned about the supermarket as a proxy for American luxury. All greens, I love you, but you're taking me down. Yeah, that's very fun. What do you think Don Delilla would have to say about a dark, like a dark kitchen or a ghost grocery store?

Well, I mean with AI, we can just ask him. Oh, that's true. Well, speaking of AI, I've got a little like a soup saw of a startup for us today. Oh. If you're wondering when we're going to talk about the meringue that all of the ongoing meringue schools building controversy, the fact that we built all the schools ongoing meringue schools building controversy. The fact that we built all the schools out of a meringue stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to be talking about that in its entirety. It's a thing that's slowly becoming neat and mess in something which is a bit of a political hot potato and Britain at the moment to use another tortured food metaphor. I thought I was doing bad things. Like meringue is getting heated in the cooler business. Before we do that episode, you've got to listen. You've got to watch the film lock. I'm very...

All this conversation has got me thinking, I need to go watch lock again. So do that before listening to that. Yeah, but first, before you do that, you should watch the film white noise, the adaptation of the movie. And that's who you're. Just watch a bunch of films,

then listen to the podcast. That's how you're supposed to be listening to podcasts anyway. Yeah, this... Yeah, we do sort of... We publish a sort of syllabus that you are expected to publish. We publish it, but we won't say where. You got to find it's an alternate,

it's the last alternate reality game to find the syllabus moving on the last coolest screens in the final corner of the last Walmart. Walgreens. Yeah, sorry, Walgreens. Yeah, which you, which you can only, only for a British podcast, you can only find a Walgreens in this. Well, boots, Walgreens, alliance. which you can only, British podcast, you can only find Walgreens in this.

Well, Boots Walgreens Alliance, so maybe they'll ship them over to Boots. Boots Walgreens is a fuck, that's an incredible sidebar, too, name.