TRASHFUTURE - The Adam Smith Institute Is Very Regular And Not A Front For Aliens

Episode Date: September 2, 2017

So there was just too much dumb stuff going on, and we HAD to do a bonus ep with the boyos. In reverse order: Steven Seagal did a horrible thing with a horrible man we needed to explore. NEEDED to explore. Like I was gonna get pancreatitis if we didn't explore it. Doctor Madsen Pirie of the Adam Smith Institute is also totally not an alien, and wants to teach the Tories how to reach millennial voters... by giving... tax cuts to the rich. And legalising "cannabis spliffs." We learn how to do mindset through brain breaking hostage negotiation tactics.

It wouldn't be an episode of our podcast if all three of us were together, of course. Yeah. It's actually not physically possible because one of us is actually, we won't tell you But one of us is actually one of the others in disguise, so you never get to see all of us in the same room. No, of course not. It's like a Mrs. Doubtfire situation. We might even alternate the disguises.

So sometimes I play Riley, sometimes I play Milo. Riley's me isn't very good though. You can see it's all in the same room or even in the same country. I mean, half the ones in Edinburgh, I was trying to play you. Wait, okay. How did that? I haven't listened to those. That's the high effort.

That's the high effort aesthetic we're going for. Yeah, it is. The famously high aesthetic, high effort trashy podcast. Just high aesthetic. The useful thing about us all being able to play each other is that if we start making any serious money out of this podcast, we can just get rid of one person so we can split the pot between fewer people. Exactly.

Really, it's fewer bank accounts. We'll keep the fictitious third person and it becomes very tax-efficient. Oh yeah. It's basically like that film, The Prestige, except it's all to do with tax evasion. I think that would have improved The Prestige if they'd used their magical illusory powers only for the purposes of tax evasion. These salaries are now contractors. This income is now capital gains.

Oh, that's going to come up later actually. The guy goes to see Tesla to see if he has any crazy science ways to reduce his fucking stamp duty burden. Also it's a beautiful day, so we decided to have recording outside. It's very pleasant. Yeah, it's very pleasant for all three of us, all three of us, having a wonderful time together. Milo's in a phone in a bowl.

In the same place with the same weather. Oh, there's a squirrel. Where I am, the weather is fucking shocking. When you say shocking, shocking implies that you are sort of surprised in some way. I'm in Moscow, and I was in St. Petersburg yesterday and the weather was genuinely better. The one rule of thumb with Russian weather is the weather in St. Petersburg is always worse than it is in Moscow. Russia's breaking all the rules this week.

It's crazy. If we want to talk, this really has been just a totally regular week where lots of regular stuff has happened. It's been totally normal. Nothing has creaked apart at the seams. No one on a major leader of kind of the West has looked at a major sort of environmental catastrophe in his own country for which he has failed to fill the vacant seats to task with the overseeing and just said his whole policy position was just him saying good luck.

That hasn't happened. That's quite kind of, that's probably apocalyptic, isn't it? That's quite independent. There hasn't been a sort of political scandal involving the same leader which has somehow also involved a washed up action movie star and superlister of the show from like 20 years ago. Yeah, friend of the show, Stephen Seagal. And that is going to be, we've been foreshadowing a lot of the stuff that's coming up.

We have. Because I'm so eager to get to that and I'm so eager to get through the rest of our content so we can all go home, give you the fact that I'm already home. I'm going to take your, I'm going to actually invite you to say what has become your catchphrase. Wait, what's become my catchphrase? At the beginning of every episode that you're on, you say, shall we cast? Oh, shall I? I didn't know that I'd become my podcast, my podcast, my catchphrase.

You're all podcasts. That's really thrown me. I thought I was just doing normal speaking. No, it's all catchphrases. You've made me really doubt the variety of things I say. You've made me worry if I repeat myself that often. It's catchphrases all the way down. Do I basically only say about 10 different things and I just haven't noticed?

You're a sound board. Shall we cast? Charlie, you're actually, you're actually like Woody from Toy Story, having a small string in your back, which Riley and I manipulate using a hook. I think actually I do move quite like Woody from Toy Story. You have the proportions of Woody from Toy Story. Yeah, I think I might do. You freeze and fall to the ground and everyone comes in.

We're not aiming for the high effort aesthetic. That's not a social anxiety thing, right? Like us on Facebook to see me in a cowboy hat if we get a thousand likes by the end of the week. Oh my goodness. You heard it. Get those hearts going for some sexy cowboy action. That's so underwhelming.

If this gets a thousand likes, I'll post a picture of me wearing a cowboy hat. Milo, I don't want to make any promises that we can't deliver on. And I think that's about the maximum we can offer. That's the sort of promise that like a really, really shit like a Republican Congress candidate would make on it. Like, well, if I get a thousand likes for our troops, I'll post a picture of me wearing a cowboy hat. At a horse fair.

Just out of frame, of course, is someone dying because all their benefits have been cut or from a hurricane that they were not protected from. You've really, I mean, yes, you know, good politics, but you've really crowbarred that in. I know I don't, I know I don't prepare for the show, but I actually, I did. You know, one of our favorite things is, is blue tick Trump replies. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I did. I saw a really good blue tick Trump reply this week. I saw a screenshot of it. I've got to the group chat. All right. It's, it's from John, John Cooper at John Cooper tweets, if you want to follow a simpering blue tick Trump. Yeah.

And we do. RT. RT, if you think at real Donald Trump is a goddamn twisted, worthless piece of racist Nazi dog shit enabled by the sniveling at GOP hashtag impeach Trump, 17,000 retweets and 18,000 likes, you've got to wonder who are the people who are retweeting that who are like, God, so beautifully put John Cooper of the blue tick Trump replying fame. And that's like this. It's like, it's on their minds like, ah, this will be the thing.

This will be the comment that finally gets Americans to sort of to stand up and sort of, you know, throw, it'll get the Republicans to throw Trump out of office. It'll convince, you know, like Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell, the sort of ghouls that are enabled by him to like start impeachment proceedings. If we just sort of have a mass sanctimonious compound swearing insults, finally, that'll be enough to get him out. And then we can have Mike Pence, who will do all the same shit, but who will just be way more professional sounding about it.

Yeah. Yeah. Or, or like Donald Trump will finally read that tweet and be like, oh my God, what have I become? I thought I was nice and all that shit fucking Donald Trump has an existential crisis reading John to John Cooper's tweet. It's like Donald Trump doesn't know what enabled or slivelling like, come on, John, if you want to get through to Donald Trump, you've got to use words of five characters or less.

Or you have to imply that like, I mean, Donald Trump thinks Nazi is a fucking 19th century German philosopher. So like, fine. Oh, we do joke. We do jokes on the podcast. We do jokes. We do jokes sometimes. Yeah.

Sometimes do occasionally. Whenever you make a joke about Donald Trump, no one's sure if you're joking or not. Yeah. Like you can make up that Donald Trump did anything and people are like, well, maybe he did. You often don't have to because he does just like, like I've sort of bring up before freely admit to like the assembled Boy Scouts of America to having a boat orgy. Yeah.

The Donald Trump strategy is to stay one step ahead of the satirists. Yeah. I think the only way we can beat him is if we just start making stuff up about him. Well guys, I know how we can beat him. And that's if we engage in this product. Okay. So are we ready for this week's product? We are.

Can I interest you guys in the mindset retreat colon a bald heart experience? Sorry. A what experience? The mindset retreat. A bald heart. Bald. What do you know? But like a heart that is quite, you know, courageous, it's quite bold.

A bold heart experience. Okay. I thought you meant like a hairless heart. Yeah. What is your heart? I mean, that's just a healthy heart. I reckon if anyone on the podcast has a hairy heart, it's Riley. I'm a hairy man.

Yeah. He's quite a hairy man. He's a hairy man. I'm a hair suit gentleman. You are. But guys, I want to know the mindset retreat, a bald heart experience. What is it? The fuck is it?

I know what it is. I've read it. I still don't know what it is. I know. I was just asking kind of the world, the universe. What is it? What does it mean? Calling for an answer to your many problems.

What is a bald heart? And how do we experience it? Well, you go on the mindset retreat. I feel like it's one of those things that's been invented by like the church of Scientology. Uh-huh. And it's like you buy it and it basically, it does an analysis of you and then it tells you that the answer to all of your problems is to join a cult where you spend money in order to find out a secret that Tom Cruise knows.

That's my personal theory. Okay. Your personal theory. Yeah. So I'm intrigued by the use of the word retreat because that could imply like, you know, spending a week in the woods learning about mindset or it could mean that it's just adjusting your mind for the retreat. Or fleeing the advancing famine.

Yeah. Retrenchment to the position. I think that this is an experience that causes you to like basically just stay in your shell for the rest of your days, like really struggle to get up in the morning, like just get delivery rather than go to the supermarket down the road and like just a lot of bad Netflix, like really bad Netflix, like Jennifer Aniston movies. No one's ever seen. Oh, like that one where she plays a checkout lady, the good girl.

I mean, you, you, you were asking me that like you assume I've seen it. We've all seen the good. I haven't seen it in years on this, our good girl fancast. Oh yeah. If you wanted trash future, I'm sorry, you're out of luck this week. No, this is our Jennifer and this is our early 2000s, Jennifer Aniston, post friends, trying to be a serious actress. So starring in sort of B-level romantic comedies.

Did you just say Jennifer Aniston? I think he said Aniston. I heard Jennifer Aniston. It must be the, it must be the, the internet. Don't, don't tell them how the sausage is made. As far as the listener is concerned, you're just behind the camera. Yeah. We're in a big ass studio.

I was just imagining Charlie Palmer watching Jennifer Aniston movies from the early 2000s in order to hide from the Wehrmacht. There's only one thing for it, Sarge. No. We're going to have to watch Jennifer Aniston movies from the early 2000s. I'm so sorry, Sarge. We have to, we have to watch. As long as we start with office space.

We have to watch the breakup. If we turn the volume up enough, they won't come within a mile. The Wehrmacht are coming like, oh, it must be later. The Wehrmacht are terrified of Vince Vaughn. It's like fighting, it's like the equivalent of being in the sort of Siberian forest and fighting off wolves using fire. Fighting off Nazis using early 2000s. Using early 90s Jennifer Aniston films.

And in each one she's so clumsy. Despite the Nazis having, having stomach for some really horrible stuff. They didn't have the stomach for early Jennifer Aniston. They didn't. No. Okay. They considered that too much. So just to confirm, we're thinking the mindset retreat.

Milo, you're thinking it's, it's like a sort of a cult thing that induces you to sort of spend more money to learn some kind of secret. Or I think it's, I think it's an experience, an immersive experience that's so traumatic that you never want to engage with the world again. Well, you, you may both be kind of right. Oh, it's like watching an early 2000s Jennifer Aniston. Is that just what it is? The mindset retreat is an early 2000s Jennifer Aniston movie.

It does actually sound like the title of an early 2000s Jennifer Aniston movie. Oh yeah. With like young Bradley Cooper as the, as the male cosmonaut. Yeah. Or like Jason Bateman. And the trailer has unbopped by Hanson on it. Yeah. Walking on sunshine.

Okay. The premise of this three day experience. I'm now reading the copy of the mindset retreats webpage is rooted in the understanding that your results, meaning not your GCSEs, but your income level, the level of success you're experiencing, your relationships and your level of meaning. I thought you meant like STD test. Aren't actually a result of how hard you work or what you do. What?

What is it? No, I mean, I wait, is this, is this a communist product? Odd? Is this, is this trash reaches first communist product for only $1,600? You can get your very own communist. You can get your very own hammer and sickle which to institute a proletarian revolution. Yeah. That's all you need.

The hammer and sickle would actually be very poor tools for affecting a revolution. Well, it's actually like when you consider the military hardware at the hands of most, you know, nation states, I feel like a load of people aren't with hammers and sickles wouldn't really worry them too much. People don't have very many revolutions anymore just because no one has a sickle. Who has a sickle? Who's got a sickle anymore? Oh, I just can't get my sickle out.

Oh. Oh, lads, are we doing a revolution? I left my sickle out. Oh, damn it. Okay. Yeah. Instead, your results are directly correlated to your quote, inner game or mindset. Inner game.

Wow. A composite of your psychology of success, your beliefs, your fears, your self-image, your behaviors, your habits and actions. Okay. Habits and actions that kind of sounds like what you do. Yeah. And possibly how hard you work. Yeah.

As well as how big you're willing to play, which again sounds sounds a bit like what you do. Yeah. That's what really creates the results, comma, or lack thereof. Oh, that's some good English. She did a great English. I think my inner game is that one where you like you inflate blowfish. You know that one? You have to try and fill the screen with blowfish.

It sounds to me like you're describing a dream. I think my... It's either that or it's Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3. I really like Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3. I think my inner game is trying to... Being on the tube and trying to work out which stop someone's going to get off at just by what I think they're like. Oh, my God.

Just like, oh, yeah, of course you're getting out of Covent Garden. Of course you are. There's no way you're from here. You're holding a camera and you're wearing high white socks, but not in a cool hackney way. In like sort of an American way. Yeah. Oh, man.

I really want to play that in the Moscow Metro, but it'd be so much more Halloween. Why? Because you have to wonder where the wild dogs are going to get off. A man with facial warts and torn supermarket bags. He looks like an old tooth of a kind of guy. Yeah. You're getting off at that stop that's really near the gun store.

I imagine Moscow's just called Gun Store. Gun Store. Gun Store. Gun Store, Naya. So the magazine Aruzhe. So guys, to shift your inner game in mindset, you go through a beautiful process over a period of three days, the mindset retreat.

That's quick for a beautiful process. It's a quick, beautiful process. Are they describing a mega one? I mean, sort of, that has you experience a profound shift in how you approach everything in life. It allows you to get out of your own way, which again, sounds like something you do, and dramatically increase your results.

It also sounds like something that's impossible. How malcoordinated do you have to be to be in your own way? Is this for people with cerebral palsy? I don't understand. Careful. It's for people with extreme dyspraxia. You're going to feel bad if you scroll down now and it is. Oh my God.

I feel fortunate. I do actually do some prep. No, I'll actually feel better, because then at least there's like a point. Yeah, right. So the mindset retreat, it happens in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It's actually happening November 13th to 15th, 2017. So we can still go there.

Are you guys free? Shall we go to the mindset retreat? Shall we get more mindset? Yeah. Yeah, let's go. So have you got any details about what you do? Well, I think I've been doing a little bit of research about this. Charlie, it's not about what you do.

Oh, sorry. It's not about what you do. That is actually how they justify the fact that you just turn up and nothing happens. Okay, well, apparently you watch the break up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince. You discover the exact steps you need to use to break through the internal barriers currently stopping you from multiplying your income. But what those steps are is completely unclear. What do you think your steps are, Riley, that are stopping you maximizing your income?

I think I need to inherit about $100 million and then I could multiply my income. That's really, that's a limiting factor for me. Everything we have on this podcast where it says, like, oh, yeah, the trick to earning money is X. That trick always involves having a huge amount of money to begin with. You're referencing an episode, Milo, that hasn't come out yet. Ooh. Yeah, we haven't released Boss Baby Brain Genius yet. Oh, shadowy.

Fucking with the space time continuum since 2017. I think you'll find since 2023. Oh, very good. So what I did was I researched a little bit of some personal reports of people who've gone to the mindset retreat. Good. Where you're supposed to learn how to become like some kind of like business brain superpower. Yeah. And someone wrote some, they did a balanced review of what made the event worthwhile and not worthwhile.

So the first event thing that made it worthwhile was that Fabien Fredrickson, the person who puts this on. Good name. And who owns Bold Heart, fucking, I don't know, Ventures or whatever, talks about the law of attraction. When you ask, it is given 100% of the time. What? Most people ask for results and expect the result to show up. We get confused because we wait for the result to show up. The opportunity for you to get the thing is what shows up.

Opportunities don't come from a person, but through them. I think there's a secret language that they use is opportunity, bad current. Opportunities don't come from a person, but through them. Sounds like the motto of one of those clinics that like will give you a kidney that they've stolen from someone that they were hypnotized on the street. That's an opportunity coming through someone for sure. One of the things that you do that you pay for, and we're going to guess how much it costs once I've read this list, is one of the things you do is you just write down 50 ways to make money and then submit it to the event coordinator. And there will be a prize on offer for any.

This is just a research thing. A prize on offer for any trash future listener who sends us the best way to make money by next episode. The prize, by the way, is a photo of me and a cowboy hat. That is at trash future pod on Twitter or at trash future podcast on Facebook. Yeah, don't do it at once because we don't want to break the internet with this one. No, of course. We don't want to send us your records. I think the more important thing, basically all the aspects that this person liked were, it was an opportunity for me to trick myself into thinking that I'm the only person standing in the way of my success.

And thinking about fake quasi-scientific shit. Here's something that's much, much, much more funny. Six aspects I didn't like. Number one, I'm going to read the whole thing, and you have to let me get through the whole thing, alright? Alright. Many of the phrases, pictures, and segments throughout Fabien's presentation are highly manipulative and lead you toward a decision to join her client attraction business school, C-A-B-S. In fact, the whole mindset retreat is actually just a sell for C-A-B-S.

The slides are all subliminal advertising. No, that's subliminal, evidently. I think that's quite super-liminal. Yeah. Wait, no, I'm confused now. What just happened? Wait, what? Wait, is this from their website? The actual mindfulness retreat website.

I did some research into someone's testimonial as to what this thing is actually like. Yeah, this is just like someone's blog. I thought that they were admitting it was a con on their own website. Moment of honesty. The people who would go to this are so fucking dumb that they're basically using the Trump logic of like, I can be as racist as I want, and they'll still vote for me because they're voting me because they were racist in the first place. It's possible, alright. But just applying that to business.

I'd like to also reveal that the cost of C-A-B-S, client attraction business school, I think probably not an accredited university, I don't want to say for sure, but probably not, is $8,000 a year. So she's trying to get you to pay $8,000 basically to, you know, think about mindset. Okay, so that slightly implies that the mindset retreat costs less than that. It does. It costs, it's a three-day event that costs less than that. But essentially, whatever it is that you're paying, you're paying to sit through three days of a relentless manipulative commercial to attended $8,000 business school about how you can be an emotional brain genius at attracting clients.

Maybe the conclusion of this is that actually the thing that's standing between me and making a huge amount of money is setting up a slightly scammy business school. Everybody goes, Those are, those are my favourite kinds. Yeah, they're just the best. Brain universities. What, you mean, you mean like the Oxford Said business school? Oh, the takes.

Oh, I thought it was just the said business school. The business school that reports things that have already been stated. Yeah, no, I just thought it was like... They so called business school. I thought it was just a business school that had already been mentioned in the conversation. So it was said business school. Secondly, there's some more things about this. Yeah, looking forward to that.

The 30 to 60 minutes we spent on the first day fundraising to drive support to a village in Africa was inappropriate. What? Now, this is not for the reason you think. All of the retreat participants in total pledged $115,000 and then Fabienne apparently then claimed that she donated all the money herself. Wow. So you get like, you get like scammed not only out of money, but you get scammed out of even like the feeling of altruism from donating money. That's exceptional. So this is like, that also implies that the people there are like already people who have quite a lot of money.

And this is where it gets hilarious. Yeah. I like it when it gets hilarious. Please tell me more. There's a Facebook group on the thing. We're everywhere. We all have to stay in this hotel in Fort Lauderdale. Every single person at the conference is like trying to like cram four people into a hotel bed because none of them can afford.

To guess get a hotel room for the whole time because like a lot of them have like gone into debt to go do this. Oh, no. Oh, that's really bleak. Oh, guys. Reading from this. One person told me that she didn't have enough open credit on her car to pay for the hotel. She felt hassled because the hotel staff demanded a security deposit of $300. Not to be unkind, but I wonder why she was attending this event if she was maxed out on credit.

Maybe because like companies like the Bald Heart fucking girlfriend experience pray on people who are desperate at their wit's end by telling them that actually their problems just can be solved with a simple mindset switch. Yeah. And the actually to be fair, like the fucking girlfriend experience is the best kind. Lads. I'm all right. Lads. Sex. At the beginning of every single event was a tent attempt to upsell everyone to the VIP experience.

Oh, what's in the VIP experience? Early entrance. Early entrance. Like to the meeting room. So you could go in at like eight instead of half eight. What? And it still doesn't start till half eight, correct? You can start doing nothing before other people.

You go in early and then Fabien says, hey, this isn't for the rest of the mugs, but have you guys ever heard of a reverse mortgage? Oh my God. And final just this is just like the emoji movie actually. This is just like the emoji movie. Is it? If I never hear Katy Perry's song roar again, it will be too soon because they use saccharine bubblegum pop to disguise how dark everything is. Oh, I mean, I mean, it was it was bad. It was played so loudly that it could be here that could be heard throughout the hotel.

And we had to hear this song in its entirety blasted the beginning of each session four times a day so that Fabien and the people who signed up for her business school could sing and dance to it. And it was also played in its entirety during every break. I'm now just picturing like a big classroom full of like people weeping and writing out on on every line with a piece of A4 paper. I will have the eye of the tiger. I will have the eye of the tiger. Rising up on the streets. What if their whole manifesto was just the lyrics and I have the tiger and no one noticed. Clearly like no one really knows all of the lyrics to that song.

Their methods for selling is like they have taken a page from like hostage negotiators where they are just blasting music into the kidnappers. It's psychological torture. It's really impressive. It's like they're laying it's like they're like laying siege to an embassy and trying to like and trying to just manipulate everyone to the point where like at the end of the three days you stagger out because you're so drunk on mindset, which I still don't know what it means. Having spent like $16,000 but like with no eardrums and an empty ball sack. I spent I stayed in a with an empty ball sack. Well, it's a it's a mega wank as as you so eloquently put it Milo. Remember, but I thought it was like a weird football coaching metaphor.

Oh, I see. No, it's no, it's it's bless you for your naivety Milo, but it's scrotal. It was it was a scrotal joke. Well, I mean, it could have been it could have been a football coach who had so aggressively wanked over the children he was coaching. Yeah. Yeah, that's not what you want. I'd so I stayed a couple years guys. The Charlie Palmer.

I I I stayed when looking for a hey, let me do my staying in a hotel in Istanbul story. I stayed in a hotel in Istanbul and no, it's not the end of the story. They played I was there for two and a half days and the reception area just played happy by Pharrell on repeat all the time. And I felt like I was in the like dystopia from the start of the Lego movie. It was actually no because that looked kind of fun. But if I want to be in any dystopia, it's the dystopia from the Lego movie dystopia where at least everyone follows the rules. It's my favorite dystopia. It's not a boring dystopia.

No, because there's always like I've got a couple of I've got a couple of sort of key points from a couple of days. The mindset retreat that I want to hop into. All right. So day one is called dream bigger. And one of the things that they say is one of the things you will learn is how to see the opportunities for growth that are right under your nose. What my nose hair grow. It is an opportunity for growth. Oh, and here's another one.

The one thing you'll need to eliminate for your life so you accomplish more. Right. So scary business schools, scary business schools. Yeah. How to afford anything in your life. And then in parentheses today. What today right now. That just what that sounds like a very ambitious time frame.

But it's got to be already in your life. They've kind of set the goalposts here. I want to buy a yacht made of diamonds. Oh, here's another one. Oh God, these are all incredible. Is it just robbery? Is that the answer? It's an ocean 11 Academy.

Really large scale robbery. Here's another. I would have so much respect for this. It was just robbery. The formula. There's like a safe cracking course as part of it. It's like we're like a guy in a turtle net going like, all right, that's this. And then there's a day where you do.

It's not about what you do. It's about what you think in the inside, but also being out of cracker safe. And then there's this near you slag. And then the next day you do like the faceless men assassin training from Game of Thrones. Where you kill people and like take off their face. Oh, it's a game of thrones reference. I did explain it to be fair. You can also learn two things.

How to command abundance into your life and the formula for instantly manifesting what you want. Instantly manifesting what you want. What like making a list of its contents. You make a list that you want and then apparently you can magic it into existence. The formula is a formula for instantly manifesting. It's a formula. Which means I think manifesting is quite vague because I think instantly manifesting what you want might just be buying some hallucinogenics.

That's true. Maybe that's what they mean. That's why they listen to their Katy Perry song all the time. That's it, isn't it? Yeah, I mean if you take a lot of acid, I think everything becomes... You see things more in perspective, really. Suddenly wanting to grow your business seems less important to you than the fact that your hands are now alive. Well, here's another Milo.

This is something that we'll be familiar with from having recording an episode that we haven't released yet. Boss Baby Brain Genius. Bit of upselling from us there. Yeah, we're manifesting what we want. We are, yeah. Why misfortunes in your life are actually very good? What? Why actually misfortune failure actually is success?

I don't know if you guys knew that. I also just realised that ironically, Trash Future is now becoming a relentless brainwashing advertisement for other episodes of Trash Future. It's actually very clever. It's very subliminal. But Trash Future doesn't cost $8,000 a year. You too can afford Trash Future. You can. And for only £999 for a three-day experience, you can come on the Trash Future retreat where we will train you how to do great hot takes on boring tech news.

Delicious, delicious takes. Selling like hot, hot takes. Don't you fucking dare. Selling like hot takes. I'm going to say it again. Selling like hot takes. No, no, no. To me, I think the Trash Future retreat would be mainly just you get strapped down and forced to watch the emoji movie until your brain breaks.

Yeah, that's very similar to the Katy Perry approach, really, isn't it? Really, this whole thing could be replaced with the emoji movie. Yeah. So I think if we have an idea more or less of what the mindset retreat quote, colon and bold heart experience is now, what do you think it costs? It's just for the retreat, not the hotel, not nothing. Fine. Okay, three days. Doesn't even include the hotel.

No. You have to pay for the hotel yourself. It's like everyone's sharing it because the only people who are desperate enough to do this can't afford it. So I think God, I think that it costs US dollars. Yeah, US dollars. I think it costs $1,600. I'm going to go higher to make it interesting. I'm going to say it costs 2000.

Oh, wow. I didn't understand this would be such actually such a bargain. It actually costs. Is it less than that? Yeah. It's $800 for three days. That's a steal. Guys, we can't afford not to.

That's an absolute steal. I mean, I want to learn how to do stuff by doing nothing. I want to learn robbery. Well, one of the things is how to get past resistance that literally could just be safe cracking. That's just the explosive session. That's like, that's the murdering the security guards. Pretty much. What if the mindset retreat is actually just an extremely good value robbery conference?

That would be. Oh, you could advertise that so easily. Couldn't you? I would love robbery confidence. $800. It's a steal. We are definitely not cops. Oh, yes.

Have you guys remember the not a cop Twitter account? Hey, guys, anybody up for some great cannabis this weekend in the Fort Lauderdale area? One, here's this weird. If people talk about this like shit, so it's such a weird religious sense. There's this unusual Protestant idea of salvation that seems to sort of just give rise to this kind of bullshit. And there's one guy called Doug Hecker, who definitely has like a used boat. Doug, if you're listening and you want to do a guest slot on the show, please come on. Let us know.

Do let us know. He says, since the mindset retreat, I launched a new website, developed a new free offer for prospects, started a new mastermind group program for my clients, and have written my own book. We didn't read anyone else's book. It's better than writing someone else's book. I didn't just copy out Harry Potter. Like, like, it's, that's the thing. It doesn't say anything about like, has it been good? No, it's just launched a website.

We launched a website. We launched a Facebook page. We developed a new free offer. This podcast is not, is not yet costing anyone any money. We haven't started a new mastermind group program for our clients. We could start a new mastermind group program for our clients. We should do a book. We should do a book as well in time for like Christmas.

Yeah, you do Christmas. I think we should do a Christmas book. They're like the trash future 2017 annual holiday buyers guide. I think that would be great. And the whole thing would just say on every page in giant letters, there is no ethical consumption or capitalism. There is no ethical consumption or capitalism. It's not going to say that. There is no ethical consumption or capitalism.

Milo, I think we'd better write the book. Magic mix. Riley wrote the book. It would be, you know, a bit, a bit heavy on communism. Oh, I've, I've just had a, we could do some great communist advertising. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism except. Activia, except the mindset retreat, which is weirdly fine. You know, bizarrely.

Yeah. Oddly enough, no one's getting, no one is getting taken advantage of. Yeah. I think it's everyone here. Like I'm pretty sure they do just pay for it by taking out a reverse mortgage and then go to the mindset retreat and learn how to like, learn how to like, how to strengthen your foot so that when you're trying to sell, you know, door to door volcano insurance, no one can actually break your foot by slamming the door on it. I genuinely now want to do the mindset retreat. Can we get kickstarted going so I can go do it? Send Charlie Palmer to the mindset retreat.

Yeah. Help him fulfill his dream. You could learn so much mindset. Yeah. And so much retreat. I think I'm already quite good at retreat actually. Now we don't have tons of time. So we're going to take the world's speediest break and then come back with a little bit of the news.

The RB. No. Well, I mean, this is coming from someone who's subsisted on an all gabba ghoul diet for the last two weeks. Oh my God, guys, I've eaten so much gabba ghoul this August. This is my, I think this is my highest lifetime August gabba ghoul consumption of any August. Yeah. I already had actually pretty high gabba ghoul consumption. He had lots of gabba ghoul.

Yeah. You love gabba ghoul. I spent two weeks in Italy and I had gabba ghoul, I think every day. I'm fucking envy you so much. Oh, my days. It was good. So speaking of things that are good, why don't we hear about something that's the opposite of good? Yeah.

Oh, we are. Yeah. I've just started recording. Oh, no. You should really say when we start recording. That's fair. Yeah. So that it would, it would be helpful.

You, you shitheads. It's fine. We're going to put that in the episode anyway. That whole thing's going on here. You, it's all, it's all going in. In fact, I'm just going to do an impersonation of you and fill in the gaps. Yeah. It's something slightly problematically racist.

What is that? It's my love. Well, it's only like a 1930s speakeasy guy. Wow. We're going to get to the bottom of this problem. See. You sound like a 1950s advert. Okay.

So I'm going to say something else from the fifties, which is noted non millennial. Um, whoever's the head of the Adam Smith Institute, a, um, a wonderful think tank in Britain. That's definitely not a like, you know, nest of reactionary shitheads. Um, has released something that they've called a millennial manifesto. A literative. 12 ideas to help. Um, oh, Dr. Madsen Peary, Dr. Madsen Peary, uh, almost an octogenarian has released a millennial manifesto. Uh, but guy, it doesn't show.

He's really hip with the language. It's, it's, it's great. 12 ideas to help government win over young voters. Okay. There's an implied manifest. What we want. It's really just send us to the mindset retreat. So we can manifest all 12 ideas of that.

So the problem with being a millennial is I just often don't know what I want. Yeah. No, I that is true, but I don't think it's to do with me being a millennial. I think it's made to do me being an idiot. So guys, did you know, and I'm quoting from the millennial manifesto here, that some opinion polls have suggested that dissatisfaction among young voters was one of the reasons why the government lost ground in the 2017 general election instead of improving their position as they had been widely predicted to do. Fuck me. That's a hot. That is a, that is a warmed through take.

So the ad, but don't worry guys. The Adam Smith Institute is here to make the Tory party hip again, putting the white in white night. The Tory party was never hit. No, like John Major didn't like come into like the House of Commons, like on a skateboard handling a gogurt. No, although John Major's glasses would now be very big. Oh, weird. Yeah. That is weird.

And also John Major is a big remain guy. I reckon John Major could get, could get a bit of a millennial following. Yeah. I'd like to see John Major in more adidas and those glasses and I'd get on board with that. I'd vote for anything to be cut. Yeah. I reckon John Major likes Stormzy. I think John Major might be the person in the universe who least likes Stormzy.

I don't think there's anyone in the world. Yeah. I think there's like maybe two or three people that maybe, you know, my grandparents. But what if Stormzy is one of those people? That'd be sad. That would be sad. Some of Stormzy's personal enemies. Yeah.

What if Stormzy needs to learn how to get out of his own way? Various people that Stormzy is told to shut up. Another kickstarter we'll be launching is to send Stormzy to the mindset retreat. Okay. God, can you imagine? So the Adam Smith Institute report says, you know, many young people on low incomes are taxed at every turn, which is a real problem. And you'll see they grasp at some serious straws to try and sort of show how young people...

They're not grasping any particular straws. Oh, sorry. I thought you meant that young people grasp at some serious straws, which is, I think, true. Yeah. I mean, I love straws. I can't get over them. Yeah. Just grab those straws.

Like frivolous straws. Oh, yeah. They like ones with like a loop in them. One's paired with like a cocaine spoon. Yeah. Or like the straws that you used to be able to get that were like the cups that the Teletubbies used to eat tubby custard out of. That is so nightmarishly specific.

They're such good straws. Or just silly straws. Like, I can imagine like sort of like the growing infantilization of adults, like soon people will be doing coke through silly straws. Imagine what a different film the Wolf of Wall Street would have been if they'd have kept literally everything the same. Apart from every time they did cocaine, they did it out of a silly straw. It would take a braver man than I to suggest that that would have made the film worse.

We have to dive into this paper because it's quite something. Cool. Because at turns, it reads like it was read by a reactionary shithead and a reactionary shithead alien who has had like humans explain to him through like a like a like a recopied videotape of like the facts of life. I had I read a brilliant description of Michael Gove the other day, which is Michael Gove looks like what an alien would draw if you described a human face to them. Oh, this is what they would.

This is what an old person would write if you described a millennial to them. Okay. Here's here's here's here's their their take on millennials or most of them. What if you described millennials to Michael Gove? Yeah, I think that's like this is probably what would happen to be honest. Some sort of singularity there, isn't there? That's most of them meaning us. Yeah.

Want to socialize with friends both in person and on social media to enjoy music and travel, perhaps to work abroad for a spell. Some want to engage with friends in recreational pursuits such as sporting activities. Many enjoy intending. Sounds like they're describing human beings. We're simply hanging out with their peers over a few drinks to middle aged people. Not like those things. I think at that point they just like house prices.

The Tory party just find it difficult to engage with like anyone with basic human emotions and desires. Is that is that the real take? It's it's basically made it sound like all guys we need to take into account the views and concerns of those people who like getting out the house because we haven't really considered them before and I really think they form a decent part of the electorate. Some humans... Tory party previously just been going after like the Amish vote.

Very niche, very niche. They've really sewn up that vote. The problem is due to gerrymandering, that's enough to win. Yeah. So, you know, that's where we're at right at this point. And I'm going to gloss over a few of the 12 points because some of them are actually like like the idea that we need to fund mental health care more. Yeah, that's reasonably specific.

The idea that like the green belt actually is causing a constraint on housing that's artificially inflating house prices. That's actually an extremely good take. Here's where the takes begin to get worse. Oh, we like these bits. Three, helping generation rent. Young people who choose to rent accommodation rather than those of us who, you know, choose to buy accommodation.

I have this 700,000 pounds. I wonder how I'm going to spend it. Rent is really buy. I'm going to sit down and choose one of them. And then buy 600,000 avocados. To be honest. And don't forget like fucking almond lattes and shit. Oh, yeah.

Man cannot live by avocado alone. Yeah. Although actually if somebody was like, hey, want to buy 600,000 avocados, I'd at least go have a look at the warehouse. You serious? You'd have a look. It would be very interesting, wouldn't it, to see like who, what kind of man would be offering you this kind of business opportunity?

You'd want the backstory, wouldn't you? Well, he probably learned about it through going to the mindset retreat and noting the opportunities that were right under his nose. Yeah. So, okay, helping generation rent. So, young people who choose to rent accommodation based on the other options open to us. Yeah. What do you think, what do you think the Adam Smith Institute says is the answer?

Would it be something reasonable like rent controls? Is it doing fat bong hits? Young people love paying rent and doing bongs. Is it encouraging them to buy fewer avocados? It's almost as bad as that. It says rent controls are not the answer. Indeed, they are the opposite of the answer. Young people hate rent controls.

So, I'm still conflicted about what the actual result of rent controls would be. They're the opposite of the answer. How can anything be the opposite of the answer? Like, what? Is the answer, what's rent controls backwards? Slornock, snare. There we go. Thank you.

We saw the housing crisis. Housing crisis, guys. Slornock tour. Yeah. So, I've been, I'm impressed with myself how well I've been keeping up with the podcast for the last 10 minutes because I've had to, like, I'm engaged this thing really, really annoying, which I think you might enjoy, which is that I have to, for this thing that I'm doing, I have to get accreditation because I'm going to be doing a gig

which Vladimir Putin might come to, lol. What? What? Which, yes, which requires me to get like this security clearance shit. And they're like, you need to send, you need to send a photo of you on a white background and I sent them of one of me on like a beige background that I had on my computer because I have time to fucking take a picture of myself. Because how am I going to do that?

Anyway, then he like, he says like, no, it has to be on a white background like this and then sends me a picture of himself on a white, on a fucking beige background as well. So, yeah. And so now I've just, I've literally just taken the photo I sent him and photoshopped the background so that it's white and sent it back to him. I'm going to see if he noticed it. Do you think your flat's getting bugged? I mean, possibly.

Although the FSB probably don't currently know where I live. I currently have no fixed address. There's only one way to find out, Milo, can you just say for us, as loudly as you like, Putin's shit. Then if you disappear, we'll know. We will know. We'll all know. We'll all have learned something if you disappear. I'm not taking that level of risk, guys.

That's like genuinely almost a legitimate worry. I mean, personally, I think that Putin is a very good man. Very handsome. Very good president. Yeah, very handsome. Looks good on a horse. Great shot with the crossbow. Minimal moves.

Minimal moves. But back to the back to the back to the sounds like a DJ back to the back to the That was the new single from minimal moves. Next, more from more from Katy Perry. This is raw. So, okay, well, let's say millennium manifesto for a sec. What do you think the Addis Smith, if the Addis Smith Institute, instead of let's, let's, you know, cause the government to like lower rents,

which in London tend to take up like more than half of someone's income. Yeah. Generally. So I, I'm not sure how I feel about rent controls because I think there could be unintended side effects that are really not good at all. But I think young people hate site and hate rent controls is how do they research that? I mean, I editorialized that in.

Oh, no. I didn't realize that in the young people hate rent controls. Oh, I thought it said it. I mean, Riley, stop editorializing and like getting our hopes up. Well, it's basically saying like it's their worry is that if there is this thing, it's the Addis Smith Institute always. Whenever they say, Oh, well, this law won't work. It's always because they assume that like the other law that would have to be passed

to make it work wouldn't happen. So they're saying, yeah, rent controls are terrible because they may have caught like force like landlords to skimp on like making apartments basically livable because it wouldn't be economical. But then if you just required flats to be basically livable, then all it would do is reduce the amount of profit that landlords get out of struggling young people, which the as not something the Addis Smith Institute is really willing to consider. Yeah.

But also it discourages new housebuilding. Young people hate basically livable apartments, Riley. But the other headline policy proposal that the Addis Smith Institute has to to really win over young voters is, you know, you know, whenever you you fly to Ibiza with the lads. Yeah. And you have to pay. Yeah, we all know that.

Yeah. You know, and you know how to have some sex with women. Yes. We're all with the with the birds. We've all heard of that listening to that extra 13 pounds. Minimalized computer music. Extra 13 pounds you have to pay for the air passenger duty. Yeah.

Yeah. You know that you know that, right? As a millennial, you know and hate that you hate paying extra 13 pounds for air passenger duty. I actually genuinely. Oh, I hate it. I hate it almost as much as living in a place that's basically livable. Yeah.

I feel like we're about to trivialize air passenger duty and it genuinely annoys me. I want to hear what Madsen Piri has to say about air passenger duty. Um, Madsen Piri. What a name. What a name. The cost of air transport has been coming down over the years in terms of the number of working hours it takes to buy a ticket, unless of course your wages

are incredibly stagnant or hit by the public sector pay cap. I mean, that's definitely just true. I mean, it's. But the APD has made it more costly and more difficult for young people and low incomes by 16 pounds. The government should raise the age limit to 30, not charging it for passengers under that age. Oh, spicy take.

What? What a revolutionary policy from the Adam Smith Institute. I'm inspired. That's quite interestingly specific in something that's full of like ludicrously broad brushes. Do you think mad like Madsen Piri is paying for Madsen Piri's kids to go on holidays and that's in Piri Junior for his son, Piri. Jack and Madsen.

I was just making a joke about it. It's a really like transparent cover for Michael O'Leary CEO of Ryan. There is another sort of more sort of get reactionary bullshit. Like how, you know, we shouldn't just make university in the UK free. Like it always used to be instead we should just restructure how student loans, you know, are provided or there are others where it says, Hey, maybe everyone wants two year university courses and so on and so on. But essentially the entire, the entire thing is leading up to this point.

Number nine, recreational drugs. Strap yourself in boys. This is about to get alien. Oh, many young people take recreational drugs said a 77 year old. Yeah. Occasionally some of them smoke a cannabis spliff with friends. They call it that as well. That's the thing.

Have you guys found that actually young people all call it an old people don't but young people all call it a cannabis spliff. I love to smoke cannabis. Occasionally, occasionally some of them smoke a cannabis spliff before I pay them for sexual services in Southeast Asia. I've just noticed something I've observed. Maybe that's how he's done all his research for this. You think he's just gone to like teen prostitutes?

Maybe his go to teen prostitute really hates air passenger duty, but loves a cannabis spliff because she's a robot. We have no evidence that Madsen Perry employs teen prostitutes. Many of them pop an ecstasy tablet to help enjoy late night dancing at a club. Some of them try amphetamines or snort a line of cocaine. Consumption of these drugs is currently against the law. Such a such specific like so like it's not some of them try amphetamines or cocaine.

Somebody's like, no, you need to be clearer. You have to understand they're not doing key bumps here. But what do they do with the? No, is there someone was reading this and going but but Madsen Perry. What is the current legal status of these drugs? I'm so confused. Are the police totally chill with it? This is this Madsen Perry is clearly not a cop.

Yeah, that's it. Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. What I love here, though, is that Madsen. Madsen. Perry's like policy on drugs is the same as another show favorite. Mr.

Sean. Paul. His policy, I believe, is legalize it. Yeah, it's been very clear about that. It's very clear. Mr. Sean. Paul work for the Adam Smith Institute.

It's but like literally his only take is legalize. It's there to be quite care with what they care for. It is that Sean Paul works for the Adam Smith Institute, but they like Charles Dickens were paid by the word. Yeah. And so needed. They needed to beef it out. Yeah, exactly.

Sean. Paul. What? How can we make? How can we make spliff into two words? Sean. Paul. What?

Ask him, Jeff. He's only got the one opinion. So, but that's sort of, you know, said 11 points that were clearly written by an alien. Yeah. An alien or someone who's like read about young people in like the financial times that gets delivered to the retirement home. Frankly, who's read about young people in other reports by the

Adam Smith Institute? So he got to real people. I read so much about these days. And that's where we get the headline, the headline policy that the Adam Smith Institute is promoting so that the Tories can finally reclaim the young vote. Huge. Any guess as to what the headline policy is?

Because the blood of the young is better for our systems. Any guess as to what the headline policy the Adam Smith Institute is recommending for the Tories to reclaim the youth vote? Tamagotches. Let people outside the Royal Family eat swans. Tamagotches from Milo. Specifically. And the unfair swan duty for the under 30.

What about swan tamagotches that you can eat? I'll just tell you guys what it is. Is it not that? What young people like and what young people want according to the Adam Smith Institute, what is Bay and Fleek and so forth, what is cool as a kind of a spliff. And hashtag 100. Is a cut in the top income tax rate.

Yeah, that's pretty lit. Yeah. That's so lit. In the top income tax rate. What? Who are these millennials who are earning over 150K a year? The idea is they're basically saying that if you cut the top income tax rate, more people will pay taxes and there will be actually

a higher tax take, which is true if you don't punish tax evasion. Yeah. But I mean, like you can only punish tax evasion when it's evasion, can't you? But this is what I'm suggesting, right? Like they're basically saying that in order to win over younger voters, you need to be much nicer to rich people as opposed to just being more firm with them because their votes count for more.

Well, young people are very rich as well, that's the thing. Oh, that's true. That's true. If only, like we're rich in life experience because of all the unpaid internships we do. Yeah. We are rich in opportunity because of all the opportunities for unpaid internships that we've got.

You're rich in high white socks. I'm rich in high white socks that sort of say the name of my favorite kind of dwelling on them. Riley Quinn, he's high. He's white. Oh, they say palace on them. His socks, they do say palace on them. So he must be rich.

I'm living in a palace. He's living in a palace. He's living in a palace. And his palace has monogrammed socks that just say palace on them because he's not even bothered to name his palace. That's how Nuvo reaches. I just need them to know it's a palace. I can't have any guesses.

I'm going to have to go in like 10 minutes. Yeah, that's how the Adam Smith Institute intends to really take Britain back for the Tories is eliminate the airport duty. Yeah, big one. Talk to young people in terms they understand like cannabis. Like a cannabis spliff, yeah. Like a cannabis spliff. And then cut taxes for the rich.

Yeah. What do young people like? Claret. Claret, yes. Free Claret for all. I think by the standards of like the Adam Smith Institute and in the opinion of Dr. Madsen Peary, young people are people who don't yet qualify for old age pensions,

but are still over 50. Maybe that's what he meant. Yeah. Well, Dr. Madsen Peary, I think was born age 63. So people aged 50 seem absurdly young to him. You're but a baby. You've only just started claiming your state pension. They're positively amniotic.

All right. So, yeah, I want to move on before you have to go to our podcast favorite listener. Mr. Steven of Seagal. Has he been in the news recently in some way or someone he's affiliated with? Right. Yeah.

So this is a weird edition of the Steven Seagal fact of the week in that I think in this case, Riley actually knows more about this than I do. But my understanding, right. So something, I do so little research for this podcast. Basically, there's this guy called Joe Arpaio, right? And I'd be wondering, who is that? Well, I am wondering the same thing.

He's a fascist sheriff from the United States South. Yeah. So he was like, was he like a chief of police or something? It's an elected position. And his whole thing was he created, his whole thing was he moved from Massachusetts to Arizona like 20 years ago and got elected by like reactionary dipshits down there because he was like this.

And he had this tough, not just on crime, because actually like prosecuting like murders and rapes and stuff, his department was one of the worst in the entirety of the United States. But he was amazing at arbitrarily jailing anyone who wasn't white on the suspicion that maybe they might be an illegal immigrant and they don't have their American passport on them at the time. Well, it is actually state law in Arizona to arbitrarily jail anyone. It's not white.

I had heard that. I'd heard that. It actually did a very good job of cleaning up the streets because there were just fewer people on the streets. Yeah. So what he did is he created? He just he reduced street congestion. Yeah.

He also gave Mike Skinner a bath. Right. So yeah. So he got, he got pardoned by Donald Trump this week. Shocker, Donald Trump pardoning someone who's really right wing. Hot take here, guys. Oh, also, I should, I should also, he favorably compared his own prison.

My prison is like a concentration camp, he said, and that's a good thing. Dachau, Arizona. So what was he, what was he pardoned for? I didn't really fully understand the case. Well, he was held in, he was held in contempt of court for basically just doing some like weird technicality. So he never actually got punished

for any of the bizarre, ghoulish shit he did. You just, it was a contempt charge. Yeah. And so what happened was he, he got, but he got pardoned because like, and this is literally, this is one of these, one of these conservative weirdos just said it outright, like this is going to piss off liberals

who don't like the violation of civil liberties of, you know, just humans. Donald Trump felt he had to one up alt-right Dick Van Dyke dipping sushi in milk and decided that the next logical step was to, was to pardon a man who's quite clearly guilty. So where, where Steven Seagal comes into this, is that Steven Seagal, Steven Seagal,

as part of his reality show, Steven Seagal, Lawman. We all love it. Which I think we should probably do like a, like a watch of a few episodes of Steven Seagal, Lawman for every episode. Everyone should. Yeah. Shouts out to Tom Segura for making me aware

of the existence of this program, which has brought so much joy to my life. So what Steven Seagal did on Steven Seagal, Lawman, is that he went for like a ride along with Sheriff Joe Arpaio, like, you know, America's sort of, I don't know, America's Reinhardt Hydric. Then, because of an unprecedented military buildup

that was sort of, you know, diffused down into Sheriff's departments, Steven Seagal drove a tank through the door of a man who was suspected of owning an illegal cock fighting ring but actually just had a chicken farm. The way you said an illegal cock fighting ring made it sound like it's a cock ring

that you wear in order to like fight with other people's cocks. Like, like, penis lightsabers. Yeah. Yeah. So you can own a cock fighting ring. It makes it sound like, rather than just like running a cock fighting ring but owning one.

Yeah. But again, I would really like to emphasize, this is in 2011, Steven Seagal drove a tank through a man's front door. You don't really drive a tank through a door, do you? You drive a tank through a house. Yeah, you drive a tank through a man's house. Who gave Steven Seagal access to a tank?

Look, I swear the police don't even have tanks. In America they do. I mean, maybe I'm underestimating America, but I feel like the police shouldn't have tanks. They shouldn't, but in America they do. What? I was not aware. Oh yeah, this is a big part of why the future is trash.

Because as part of a huge military build-up, because of like, you know, the unending forever wars in the Middle East, there is a lot of equipment that's getting sort of cycled out. And the Department of Defense doesn't know what to do with it. And so, like, police departments are just allowed to request it for free. And so, like, they'll have, like, mind-clearing vehicles,

but, like, in some podunk shithead police, like, department in, like, an Idaho town, they'll have, like, an MRAP, like, a mind-clearing tank. So I didn't know the future was trash. The future's trash? That's a nightmare. And so now Steven Seagal is able to drive a tank through the home of a chicken farmer on the basis that,

that, like, they, like, watched Breaking Bad and decided he was doing cockfighting. You know what? I think Steven Seagal should be able to do that. I don't think anybody else should. But I think, actually, the world is a better place because Steven Seagal is allowed to drive a tank through somebody's house on the basis of flimsy,

circumstantial evidence of illegal cockfighting. I'm so pleased that the world is in a place where that can happen. One of the recommendations, one of the Adam Smith's reports' recommendations is actually that Steven Seagal should be allowed to drive a tank through Millennial's apartment. Millennials love it when Steven Seagal drives a tank through our apartments.

Young people hate intact walls. We don't like rent controls. We love cuts in the top tax rate. Yeah. We really want to pay a little bit less for our sort of flights to Ibiza. And we really hope that Steven Seagal can come help with our renovations.

We do, yeah. Oh, my God, that would be a good TV show. Seriously. Home's under the hammer. I've been doing home renovations for over 45 years. I imagine him brushing paint on the wall in the same lazy and inaccurate way he does martial arts demonstrations.

Just vaguely waving a brush in the direction of the wall. He's just got to paint it. Occasionally hits the wall, but only in one in every three swings or so. No, this was practice swings. That was what practice swings were. I was hitting the walls you couldn't see. I've been hitting walls for over 45 years.

I think Steven Seagal actually learned how to overcome resistance at the mindset retreat because he has so much mindset. He does, yeah. But very little retreat. Very little retreat. Very little retreat. Steven Seagal is all mindset, no retreat.

Yeah. All the doors locked. Should we retreat, Steven? No. We'll get the time. All mindset, no retreat. Also, this is just a little Sramalan twist. This was the incidence where Steven Seagal famously killed

a dog in the botched raid. Well, did he kill a dog with the tank? Yes. Well, he killed it with a... Oh, I thought he shot the dog. No, right. He killed it with a tank. I think he killed a dog with a tank.

Ah! You might be forgiven for thinking this is overkill. No, the dog had it coming. I mean, you can literally kill a dog by like feeding it chocolate. But Steven Seagal was like, now I'm going to use a tank. What's interesting?

I need to make sure this man's dog is dead. What's interesting about the illegal cockfighting ring is that the man had no knowledge of it. It was actually just run by the dog. So actually, all in all, justice was done. I've been serving justice for over 45 years. Oh my God. So how's that for a Steven Seagal fact of the week?

It's a really good Steven Seagal fact. Steven Seagal in partnership with Joe Arpaio, America's most evil man, or at least someone in the running for America's most evil man. I don't think he's even top 10, Riley. He's up there. I mean, like, he's definitely a shit, but I feel like on this shitometer,

he's like in terms of America's most evil people. We don't even probably know who America's most evil people are. Oh yeah, you're right. That's how evil they are. Let's not get bogged down in this, because I think what we need to devote our soul attention to is the fact that Steven Seagal got in a tank, drove through a man's house, and killed a dog.

Fatally. He did it all fatally. But to be fair, the dog was running a cock fight. Allegedly. So, you know. I could have killed a... I can fight any dog with my keto skills. I don't think a dead dog can sue.

I don't think even an alive dog can sue. Can you libel a dog? We can take some solace in the fact that there was a multi-million dollar lawsuit paid by, like, not Seagal, but Arpaio to this guy. Steven Seagal edition of Punked. Like, Ashton Kutcher is retired, so Steven Seagal starts doing, like,

a weirdly violent version of that prank show on MTV. Just like, this guy's not going to know what hit him. Driving a tank through his house. The only thing that would improve this story is if Ashton Kutcher had driven a tank through somebody's house and killed a dog. If Ashton Kutcher drove a tank through Steven Seagal's tank. Bam Margera drove a tank through, like, Uncle Vito's house.

Oh, Don Vito's dead. Don Vito is dead. And he was also, like, a child molester. He was a tromo. Yeah, I was going to bring that up, but then I was like, I might ruin the tone of the podcast. But we've gone there. Steven Seagal destroyed a man's house

and killed his dog with a tank for a reality TV show fatly, but at least he wasn't Don Vito, who was slightly worse and slightly fatter. See you next week. See you next week, everyone. See you, lads. See you next week. See you next week.