TRASHFUTURE - The Condition of the Ruling Class in England feat. LivPosting

Episode Date: May 27, 2020

Twitch streamer LivPosting joins Riley, Milo, Alice, and Olga for a review of the various brain processes that have given us a weird and strange ruling class. We've got everything for you from political failchildren unwilling to stop inflicting their bad ideas on us, members of the royal family suggesting more people should be troops, and some lords and ladies who are very committed to stupid causes. Come check it out! If you want one of our *fine* new shirts, designed by Matt Lubchansky, then e-mail trashfuturepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. £15 for patrons, £20 for non-patrons, plus shipping. *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind GYDS dot com). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ 

We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Making an enemy of our own future. What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. Can it be some cold in here, like Greenland in here? We've got to get some boobs. It's the only solution for this intense cold. Welcome to the Stage Speaking Podcast. Hi, I'm your host, Riley Quinn.

You have struck up, please. Leave that in. Hi, it's Riley from Trash Future, the Stage Speaking Podcast, where we all project. And I am the host of the stage speaking podcast, where we all project. And I am with, who am I with? I'm with Milo Edwards.

It is me, Milo Edwards, the Victorian strongman. Going on my gramophone podcast after many long hours of lifting trapezoid weights with labels such as 100. We also have Olga Koch, who is also a grand dame on stage and screen. Thank you very much. I'm currently recording from my flatmate's room. My flatmate is a banker.

And I don't know if you ever heard of this book, but it's the first time I see it. On his bedside table is a book that's called, You're Not Broke, You're Pre-Rich. New reading series. New reading series has just displaced our last thing. You know what that is? This is a new identity for people to yell at you and Devin

about for some reason, Alice. I studied Pre-Rich at Trump University. We also have today with us, we have Alice. The bearded lady? Yeah. We have Alice, who's a freaking clown from the circus. Yeah, that's right. And we are also very lucky to be joined by a Twitch streamer

and internet personality all around. Liv, aka Liv posting. Liv, how you doing? I'm good. I'm good. Good to be the second bearded lady on the podcast. Yeah, we've got a quorum now. Yeah, yeah.

Well, Baroness Nicholson, Baroness Nicholson's letter is going to finally be read by the proper people. That sounds like such a fucking mystery novel. Baroness Nicholson's letter. Yes, it does. After we do a couple of quick news hits up front, we are going to be delving into how England... Look, once Alice once said that England specifically

is a country that has sick building syndrome, and we are going to explore some of the ways in which the posh, so the lords and ladies and worthy people of our country have been slowly getting stranger. Just licking the black mold from the tops of the walls. Yeah, exactly. But first, a couple of quick hits. Quick hits.

Quick hit number one. Amy Klobuchar and Ben Sasse, two of our favorite members of the US Senate, have just introduced. I am so excited about this, about this program they've introduced. It's a $4,000... This is like to help people not be permanently destitute because of the fact that the economy just stopped for like a while. The legislation is a $4,000 tax credit

available to people who lost their jobs due to the outbreak, which can be used to offset the costs of training, apprenticeship, certificates, and two to four year programs. Skills wallets are back, baby! Then we're entering the Swin Zone. We are deep in the Swin Zone right now. American politics has taken a hard turn, not left, not right, but center, into the Swin Zone.

Beautiful. Inside the Swin Zone. And Amy Klobuchar got the vice presidential nod from Biden right after this, so it works, right? Absolutely. Exactly. This means that... She's taking a vice president course on Codecademy.

The Democrats are literally going to run on skills wallets and they've got the stamp of approval of Ben Sasse, the anti-Jim teacher, like... Yeah, the anti-Jim teacher, Epic Republican. Yeah, listen, I was always going to support this because as soon as the Klobuchar thing came out, I am a simp for Amy Klobuchar. I want her to like throw staplers at my head.

This is known. So Liv, as the only person here who actually lives in America, what do you think of what Amy Klobuchar and Ben Sasse are going to do for you when they're not hurling staplers at the heads of their subordinates or advocating for the hurling of missiles at Iran? I actually technically don't live in America. I live in America light, which is, of course, Canada.

Even better. So I don't... Even better. The cool America. Yes, exactly. Basically, we're like America except everyone... Like, same reactionary like settler politics as America, but everyone also loves the Queen.

It's a great combination. And you have some great microclimates, so I'm always here. Yes, yes, yes. The wine. Don't forget the wine. Of course. The wine's good. It's good to just know that Lib Dems are taking over everywhere.

Like, I mean, Canada, we have our Lib Dem guy who is Trudeau, like the Liberal Party. And now I guess the Democrats are formally turning into it. I'm just... I'm waiting for the Lib Dem takeover on your island for skills wallets to actually dominate everywhere in the Anglo Strait. I'm very excited. But Boris takes off latex mask to reveal Joe Swinson.

That's the thing. There are two policies. There are only two policies now that appear to be goers. One is skills wallets or something like it. And the other is let's invent a new branch of the military. Yeah. And that's it. I love the idea that Joe Swinson is like Ra's al Ghul.

And she's just like... Like you thought she was dead, but she is coming back. She's got the Lazarus pit. It's fine. You have really adopted the Swin Zone. I was born in it. So we are all deep in the Swin Zone right now. I am vibing with the Swin Zone.

I'm rotating exactly at the speed of the Swin Zone. So the Swin Zone looks like it's staying still. You are in your synchronous orbit with the Swin Zone. I am getting more and more powerful as I learn more and more introductory JavaScript. Exactly. Let's get Jon Snow on. We'll get out the Swin Zometer. I kind of have a theory as to why this idea won't die, which is that a lot of people are

looking at their lives and being like, fuck, this sucks. I wish something could be done about it. I wish there was some kind of zone. And then the skills wallet hypothesis is basically, well, it's your fault basically that the steel mine closed in your town. It's a shit. You dumb piece of shit. You got to school.

You learned to code. Yes, it's closed and weren't even skills wallet. And so it's the only way of saying, well, we're not going to give you anything material, but instead we're going to give you what the people who have the material stuff want, which is people who can code or manage communications or whatever, which we'll get to. And then we're going to say then you can maybe convince them to give you some of their stuff. That's as much as we're going to do. So yeah, skills wallets.

They're back. I treasure my diploma from this one weird trick university. Wait, what was the one weird trickle? We can't. We can't ever. Exactly. That's it. You have to pay.

It's like Scientology. You need to reach the level. Listen, here's the thing, right? Olga, you say the one weird trick and I'll beep it. Should we try it? Yeah, let's do it. Basically get Jeff Bezos on the phone. Oh my God.

This is amazing. Yeah. What you have to do is while you're doing the laundry, you sit on the beat. Yeah. No one knows. There's a pyramid of local moms and you have to climb all the way to the top before you learn the trick. So we're going to a quick hit number two, Alice.

You've you've added this in here. The fucking like we've had American light. Now we have England light talking about Scotland, the Scottish National Party in a huge shock to everybody voted with the Tories to not like do rent control and to not give tenants any of the coronavirus money because I thought they were woke. Yeah, they're extremely far left. And in fact, right? Like if you like, if you wanted to give any credence to this, you could say, huh, but

they have rent control in their manifesto. And the last conference, like something like 70% of their members voted in favour of doing rent control. And then they told them to go fuck themselves to vote with the Tories. So yeah, it rules. I love to like possibly gain independence as like a sort of like neoliberal fucking like cold Singapore. It's going to be awesome.

Yeah. I love it whenever you whenever you point out that the Scottish National Party are a bunch of like frauds and con men. And then your mentions are instantly full of like Scottish Nationalist Party people being like, actually, they're very left wing. But like, but why they have that point? Sorry. Actually, they're very left wing.

I think you'll find, since the 1100s, the people of Scotland have been oppressed by the English and definitely not by the aristocracy of Scotland. And if we were just separate, we could finally separate the bathrooms from the English and then make control of Scotland to deep fry the entire country and then be free. You've gone feet red. You have to do that. Yeah. So, you know, once again, you know, like all of these, like a lot of these political parties

that have been that have just been around for a while, who all have like have their cozy relationships with capital and donors and stuff and landlords and they're all sort of well within the, let's say, acceptable mainstream of parties to vote for. None of them are going to do anything close to what's necessary. If you're trying to do like a left case for independence, like a lexic thing within the SNP, you are a child. Go stack alphabet blocks because I can't do anything to help you. Now, I don't know, I want to, before we go to the next section, I do, I would like to

get the Canadian take on this. Liv, I thought you were American. I didn't know you. I was talking to a fellow Canadian. It's the same difference. Yeah. No, I always say that whenever anyone's like, Oh, so where in America are you from? I'm like, I'm actually from Canada.

And they're like, Oh, I'm sorry. I must have offended you. I'm like, I don't give a shit. Don't worry about it, bud. Yeah. I don't talk like those guys in the just out for a rip song or the or the show letter Kenny. You could never tell.

I would love to talk like the letter Kenny guys. That'd be so cool. But or like, I'd love to talk like Ricky from the trailer park boys have that accent. So what? What? What? How? How does it?

Does it surprise you at all that our version of the block cap a claw turns out to be? Yeah. Yeah. I guess. What are the the quote by Hegel history repeats itself? I'm not sure which one. And which was the far. Maybe they're both.

They managed to do this. Like they had the first vote on this and they voted no and everyone got very mad at them. And then they're like, don't worry, we'll have a second vote. And then a week later, they had the second vote. They voted no again. So you can press the Hegelian, the Hegelian thing into a week. Oh, now I'm imagining a powerful thing. An underground Scottish separatist like IRA equivalent, but they're all being funded by

like rich Quebec. Wow, guys. You like to do this. Callie. She sends the barrage anti-material rifle to the gun. Thanks to our support from our brothers. It's Jean-Luc de Bastard and Pierre Kelchetsky who have sent us a large supply of maple syrup.

We are going to take the fight to Carlisle. Just a gigantic shipment of tactical blackface. Fantastic. That completely makes sense because liberal because liberal politicians in Canada are constantly getting embroiled in inexplicably small time Quebec crime. It has happened to the last three, I think it's like mayors of Montreal are constantly going to jail. And so it would make sense that this is.

Oh, yeah. Again, I think the last one is just like monopoly. Yeah. The last three. But again, several mayors of Montreal have gone to jail while being mayor of Montreal. That gave it the community chest. Say Montreal a bunch more Montreal Montreal. Wait, but the Toronto mayor as well.

Wasn't it? Robert Ford. No, he didn't. He didn't go to jail while being mayor. Yeah. No, he just did a bunch of crack while he was mayor and then died. Montreal Montreal still has the exact politics of like 19th century New York, like Tammany Hall, New York, which is I think extremely funny.

Toronto was the first city in the world to officially adopt the crack commandments as law. Okay. So those are our quick hits up top. Now we're going to go into our main section where we are going to explore this deep sickness that exists in the British upper class, this strange and unwell. Yeah, we're going to do some fucking psychology. Actually, sorry, I want to retake that just so no one takes that out of context.

We are going to explore the psyches of these deeply strange and unwell people. Join us in the suite. No, this isn't the swim zone. This is like the Lord's zone, right? This is the Ju Bonet zone. No, this is the upstairs of upstairs downstairs. Yeah. We're like doing the Downton Abbey like aristocracy thing.

And this is all just from recently. Like the aristocracy is getting weird. Yeah. So we're going to start with this of the top of the like barrel basically in the last week. Yeah. Of the Baron barrel. The aristocracy is getting weird when like the earliest anecdote I can remember about the British aristocracy is the murdering the King's 12 year old boy lover with a hot poker. Okay.

The British aristocracy have always been weird. But because of online, their weirdness and the modern press, their weirdness is much more on show. Yeah. It's disseminated more broadly. So basically, Baron Baroness, Baroness Nicholson, who's like a Tory Pierre Christian. Baroness Nicholson of Winterbourne, which is just the most Skyrim ass bullshit. Where the fuck is Winterbourne? It's not a place.

She actually, she accidentally arose from an experiment where they ran four million volts or an Agatha Christie novel and she just emerged. So we're going to hear some more fucking old timey weird shit. She writes, she wrote a letter to Markson Spencer. She says, dear chairman, I write as a member of the... Why have you stopped doing the fondant puddings? I would rather it was that. I write as a member of the House of Lords with previous parliamentary and ongoing charitable responsibilities for the safeties of women and children against sexual violence. Can anyone guess where this is going?

Well, she capitalizes women and children. So... Yeah. Fondant puddings is what she calls trans people, I see. Where she says, she says like a bathroom warrior, I believe you may wish to follow the government's line. It literally just Liz Truss's line that she shats out in a week. And resumes single sex spaces for the changing rooms in your store, which you thoughtfully provide for customer usage. I have never been to a store that has a single sex changing room.

They have like little cubicles and then like a lady or a guy in fact will like look at your how much stuff you have, give you a number to so you don't steal any of it. And you go try it on and you take the stuff you want. It's just never been a sex segregated space. No, the problems. Sorry, go ahead. This is like the most British thing ever because it's like a, you know, can I talk to your manager type of complaint? Manager of the entire chain. Yeah.

Yeah. It's firstly, it's formalized in like an incredibly aristocratic way. And then also, of course, it's about trans people. It's like the double whammy of British aristocracy. I think it's a triple whammy, actually, because it's a baroness who is getting mad at who's getting mad at like what is effectively a grocery store using a letterheaded paper. You and her status as a feudal aristocrat who's getting incredibly incensed about single sex changing rooms, something that's not a thing. There's also Marx and Spencers is like target if it was invented by like a British grandmother. Yeah.

It's like one of those who somehow sells everything, but in like a bougie way. Yeah. She also gets the name of the law that she's talking about wrong twice. And it like, that law doesn't define sex at all. They just, TERFs just think it does. Yes, please baby. Yeah. But no, this stretches, this is a two page letter.

We're just extracting the like most talk to the manager bits, but it goes on. Oh, it goes on. It's a I am not a crackpot. I should add that while you undoubtedly believe that you are protecting children from abuse, since changing of clothes can lead to voyeurism newer legislation brings the laxness of this provision into. Changing of clothes can lead to voyeurism. That is a 19th century. Yeah. As a visitor, a frequent visitor of the porn hub amateur sex.

Thank you. We're bringing the old energy. Truly though, nothing, nothing will stop consumers from having sex in the stores. I'm sure we've all seen the ones where like women will interact with objects and IKEA. What? Yeah. Okay. You haven't fit this.

Many, many people have seen this. Yeah. I hate when I'm trying to shop in IKEA and a lady puts the flogging noodle up her fucking asshole. And then I watch it on the Internet. Yeah. Twitch plays IKEA. Basically, rules aren't going to stop anybody. No.

Well, what they are going to do is they are going to, you know, for bringing this back to reality for a second. What this is going to do is it's, it's like, okay, do you know, I'm sorry, are you saying this malm up my pussy is a reality? What it's, what it's going to do, right? What it's going to do is it's going to take the person who like counts the amount of things that you're taking in to make sure you're not wearing nine bras out like everyone always is.

They're going to take that person and they're going to put a cop hat on them and they're just going to be a cop now. Yeah. Well, it's the, it's the, as the state gets more paranoid about the immigrants and trans people and the people that they, they've chosen to get paranoid about more and more people become cops like landlords already not great. Now also border guards and the idea that like every like bathroom attendant and every changing room attendant now has to be like on sicko patrol as well, it is this, it is appealing

to this sense of crisis to create this broad sweep of authority to basically just punish people who are disfavorite. You're doing it. You're doing a bump in the, you're doing, sorry, you're doing a bump in the club like three o'clock in the morning and the guys like, Hey bud, do you want fresh and up some dumps on cologne? Hey, what do you hate when I do a small bump of cocaine and a SWAT team breaches through the bathroom cubicle and like compromises me to a permanent end.

You're hiding the coke, but actually they just want to look at you. So let's, let's carry on some more, some more crazy rich people. This one's a Lord and he's a Lib Dem Lord. Lord Fox is his name to hang out with the other Lib Dem. Well, also like two, they let them have names that are too cool for them. Like there's a Lord Adonis, right? And he's not hot. Lord sugar and he's not hot Baron Baroness, the Baroness of winter ball.

I bet I don't even want her to top me and Lord Fox, right? I guarantee you it's just going to be like an extremely rotund man. No, he's, he's more of like a, he's like a, he's like a slim slender. I'm going to Google this man. I'm going to Google him and we'll see Lord Fox is talking just like little like titles come up on the screen where it's like written by Hideo Kojima designed by Hideo Kojima. He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't look like a Fox. He looks like a sick badger.

Basically what's happened is he has used the government. He owns a strategic advisory firm, a strategic communication company called Vulpis Advisory. Yeah, yes, fuck off. Yeah, fuck off. Big fan of Fallout, New Vegas. Yeah. So he, he basically has, he has this, this like strategic communications company. So like a fake company. I don't know. I'm sure they do things.

It's just the thing they do is stupid. Tactical communications. Tier one, situation. So basically he's already like some multi-zillionaire and he has paid himself as a furlough or something through his company and is still claiming his 162 pound a day allowance to be in the house of Lords where he's just an unelected guy who goes on like video chats for once a day to vote against, you know, continuing to give anyone any rights. It's awesome.

The rules. And here's the thing. He has decided to be an epic logic guy where when this was uncovered and it was, it was suggested that having his private income paid by the state as well as taking his Lord's stipend was like, looked pretty greedy. He says, I don't think conflating the two is even logical. Oh, damn. We're owned.

Yep. Lord O'Neill over here. Yeah. And I think this shows someone who again, as a Lord, is so removed from the idea of normality that he's like, well, obviously all of this is for me. Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be? If it were bad, it wouldn't be like legal.

So it's fine. Why would anyone leave this big pile of treats in my office? This is kind of what he said. He said, if HMRC had thought it was ineligible for me to have applied for that loan, they would have said so. Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

No, the only judge of whether things are good or bad or not is whether they're legal. Cool. That's right. That's right. So it's just like, look, obviously, again, it's also the thing is, right, like, it's not even like that stupid of him from a political perspective because he's a Lord. What are we going to do? Vote him out?

Yeah. He's a Lord. He's accountable only to that woollen bag. Literally true. Yeah. This is a stupid country. Leave it to the urban foxes. Like, I've had enough.

It's irredeemable now. I've heard Baroness Nicholson called a lot of things in my time, but that woollen bag is probably the most inappropriate. Yeah. This is what happens when you don't kill your king. You gotta kill at least once, at least one king killing. Or your society turns out like this. We had one, but it didn't stick.

That's true. Yeah. It didn't. You gotta at least maybe 20 years of pro-killing king culture. So yeah, it's just the pure entitlement of a guy who was made a life peer by the Lib Dems under Nick Clegg, who now- That's so cursed. Who now-

Yeah, well, it's because of the fucked up way our upper house works. There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. There are multiple hundreds of Lib Dem lords because Nick Clegg just appointed tons, and they're all there forever. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. And in the Swin Zone, you can't die. The technocratic transformation of this country into the Swin Zone

is going to start from the House of Lords, which is where the Lib Dems have their base of power. Awesome. Yeah. No, I look forward to this. Yeah. It rules. It rules.

And you know, that's the thing. There's no expensive scandal for the lords because there's nothing- Oh, why would there be? Like, oh, they're spending too much on fancy ermine robes. It's like, no, they shouldn't exist in the first place. That's the scandal. So I'm going to take it now out of the upper house into the lower house, where Jacob Rees Mogg, Milo, who you always helpfully describe as a man who's one bad day

away from wearing two monicles. Yeah. He, like, it's ironic that Jacob Rees Mogg is in the regular house, despite being the most Victorian person who has ever lived. And I include in that all people who are actually born in the Victorian era. Well, all he has to do is, like, lose an election in his constituency, and he'll be made a lord so he can keep- Damn, Baron Rees Mogg.

Yeah. Yeah. That's all. I thought if- Here's something. Well, he's already, he's already actually a titled peer, but he just isn't a House of Lords. I don't think he is.

I'm pretty sure he's like, isn't he like the, like he's like a Marquis or something? No, because remember, he's like new money. He lives in a stately home. Yeah, he bought a stately home, but he does not have a title. Oh, okay. Yeah. Damn, owned. More like drunk, for my right.

Yeah, exactly. This does not own him. This is just factually correct. So basically, Jacob Rees Mogg's, now that all of the politics of Jacob Rees Mogg, like all of his political wishes have come true, he now has to fight a new battle, which is, stop the lockdown on the House of Commons specifically. Expose us to the coronavirus.

I mean, it's the last time it was open. All it did was infect the entire conservative front bench and nearly kill the prime minister. So it's fine. I mean, yeah, come right. Worst person you know makes great point. Comrade COVID, yes. So I don't fully understand.

I mean, I don't fully understand kind of why he seems to be so set on this other than just he thinks the benches are fun. He just likes to be in the old building. He likes lounging, right? Like what is like the photo of him sleeping on the bench? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

That's absolutely it. Very wholesome. Yeah. He just wants to be there lying down. He wants to have a little nap. He's a big sleepy boy and he just wants to be back on the bench. Having a nap. It's the one place where his nanny can't come and catch him jacking off.

Parliamentary privilege enables him to jack off in the chamber. Yeah, it's the one place. Well, he's the leader of the House of Parliament. They filled that big wool sack. Britain says Britain has so many stupid fucking traditions. Yeah, yeah. So his, he seems to be again campaigning for everyone to come back to parliament after, and here's another sort of fucking Skyrim ass term.

The Whitsun Recess. That is W-H-I-T-S-U-N space recess. This is the most irritating thing since my school decided that it had a Mikkelmus term. It's like, no, it fucking didn't. Yeah. Oh, I love Mikkelmus and the whole family gets together and worships Michael, who died for our sins. It's great.

Yeah. No, well, the Whitsun Recess is actually the story by Chaucer that the American cartoon recess was based on. Yeah, that's right. They changed the ending, of course. Yeah, it is 50 days after Easter. Parliament, Parliament de-convenes. Again, just this, they're, the entire, like the country adopted the metric system

and then stopped there. Everything else is still completely arbitrary and stupid. Oh, there's 25 Whitsuns to the recess, I think you'll find. It's like, no, Jesus, no. Oh, sorry. Oh, you need, oh, you're, you're dying because you lost your job due to the global pandemic. Sorry, it's 50 days after Easter. That means parliamentarians have to go and collect a sack of millet from their home

village and bring back to the king. Have you seen, have you seen the ceremonial, like, royal hats that, like, I think Lord Lieutenant's have? The second sorting hat? It's worse. It's like, it's like, imagine, imagine a Robin Hood hat, right? Like the hat that Robin Hood wears, a fox or human version. But instead of green, it's red and it's much pointier in the front.

Like, it looks like you can put your eye out with it. It's like a plague doctor mask, but a plague doctor who's not taking plague doctoring very seriously. Yeah, it's called the cap of maintenance, if you want to look it up. The maintenance guy wears it. Yeah, the maintenance guy wears a big red fucking, like, muskovy hat and it's incredibly stupid. This is just reminding me, this is a really quick hit. I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day who works in tax and he said he was once

in court and they had, like, a guy from HMRC who'd, like, seized all of this stuff illegally from someone at the border. And in his report, he'd written, I then seized these goods for Her Majesty the Crown. He read this out and he went, first of all, I would like the gentleman to realise that this makes no sense and his second of all pompous. I'm going to add a picture of the fucking cap. Anyway, so those are those are some posh parliamentarians who just seem to be like, look at this.

I think they know that they are are normal humans. I think that they that's a cool hat. Yeah, I think I saw Supreme put this out actually a couple of months ago. Just beautiful. Yeah, hell yeah. Our beautiful boaters. Like if you extruded a fez. That's right.

Oh, yeah, it looks it looks like something Monty Python Spanish Inquisition would wear. Yeah. Anyway, so this is these are the people in charge of government who just have not really clicked that more people exist than them or that, like, they're human and they are they have they have frailties. No, they are they are it is because I think that the boomer the boomer brain of walking around and trying to get covid on purpose because you want to you want to help herd immunity. That's just like a devolved version of posh brain, which assumes that like your because

you're so used to people doing whatever you want. I think you begin to trick yourself into thinking that you kind of can control physics with your mind. So I think they think they're a little bit dragon ball. And I don't think that I think and I think that like if you ask them, they'd say, well, no, of course, not all the rules normally apply. But inside in their very little brain in their brain stems, I think they think that they just can't get over the idea that they are they are in control of everything around them.

It's right in good. That's the case. And that things just good magically happened when the revolutions of 1848 hit Austria. The Chancellor von Messeneck went to the emperor and he said, my emperor, the people are tearing down the gates of the palace and the emperor said, but they're not allowed to do that. Are they? So let's but let's let's go from the chambers of the of the of the politics of this country.

Let's go to the royals. Let's let's say hello to the royals. Checking on how they're doing. So I'll start. I'll start with the one that we assume should be a complete persona non grata in public. Right. Yeah. Some of the coverage that's Michael of cat.

Yes. Here's some of the coverage of Prince Andrew. Again, from this month, but Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew have spoken publicly about the excellent friendship they have maintained, managed to maintain more than 20 years after their divorce while they still live together. Oh, that's that's that's the story about Prince Andrew now. He's just really good at maintaining long-term friendships. That's what we can say about Prince Andrew.

Sarah Ferguson just saying, yeah, no, he's a really nice guy and like my hyoid bone has never been stronger. I'm not feeling bad about myself in any way. In 2018, she noted that she and Andrew really believe in each other. They really enjoy each other's company and allow each other to blossom. I know it sounds like a fairy tale, but that's the way they are. What? Oh, they're divorced.

And what about that as a fairy tale? They are literally divorced. Yeah. So that's the that's the coverage of Prince Andrew. I just want to hang out with my ex-husband and not sweat together. Yeah, yeah. No sweat. I want to blossom with my ex-husband like a fairy tale, you know, like a prince charming.

I love that the benchmark for a successful marriage in the royal family is you still get divorced, but you don't murder the other one. So the that that was in 20. So this is the article quoting something from 2018. At current time, Sarah and Andrew are believed to be isolating with their daughter, Princess Eugenie, and her husband, Jack Brooksbank. Sarah and her daughters have been spotted delivering food and care packages to NHS staff during the pandemic.

That is the brass eye that this is the one thing we didn't want to happen. So, yeah, you know, imagine, imagine like getting married to Princess Eugenie and then having to isolate with Prince Andrew and just like the conversation you have to make over the dinner table. Like, so, Andrew, what are you up to? Uh, really missing pizza express. Any old friends you've been in touch with? Old friends specifically, not young ones.

No, old friends. Um, yeah. So that's the this is how the if you basically what we've learned is that if you, um, you know, if you are Prince Andrew and did all the Prince Andrew stuff, what? Allegedly. Well, I just said did all the Prince Andrew stuff. All the pizza. Yeah, allegedly.

If he allegedly did the stuff that he allegedly did. Whatever. That's that what happens is you retire from your fake job cutting ribbons. You no longer administer your charity and then you still get soft focused pictures of you in the press. Like, you know, you know, the common, you know, the common feature of all of these stories is and what the thesis of this episode is. It's the rubbing our faces in it, right?

Like there's, there is nothing that you can do about any of these people and they're perfectly content to be like, no, I have in fact claimed my massive salary twice because I can fuck you. I'm taking my massive ridiculous hat and I'm going to like allegedly do some alleged things and then get some soft press and then there's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do about it. I'm not rich. I just get paid twice.

It's a tradition. Yeah, before we move on to the next member of the royal family, how do you feel about this so far? I feel like the main lesson we can learn is that like, even though like American meritocracy is like entirely bullshit, at least like the American like royal, you know, rich, incredibly rich dynasties came out of like the 19th century, like, you know, a couple hundred years ago where it's like, you know, the, the Kennedys, et cetera, the, the actually capable like member of that family that like built their wealth.

Yeah, a good bootlegger. Yeah, a bootlegger. Yes or go ahead. Good. Oh yeah, compared to like in Britain where it's like, you never, like, you never meaningfully like shook anything up. There was no Jacobin revolution. So you ask like a rich person when they, their family got their wealth and they're like,

like when the Romans left the island, I think, like it's like 2000 years ago, like the only capable member of your family who has ever done anything, if you're one of these like rich lords, is like a dude who won a battle against Julius Caesar. Right, that's true. It's like, at least with the Kennedys, you got, you got bootlegged. You got, you got, you know, yeah, of course, you got some booze out of it. You got some Canadian whiskey. Unfortunately, you know, like they're, they're like ninth in bread kid, they're like,

whatever one didn't, you know, like crash himself quote unquote in a plane or whatever. Like he's, he's saying that he, he stands, he stands with like a pig solution areas. Was, was the quote unquote there around crash your plane? Like do you think he was like on a missile? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so yeah, at least you got that or even like with Zuckerberg, you can at least be like, no, what he did, what he did sucks and everything about him sucks and all his entire time. And he didn't like invent that much, but he stole something at the right time.

At least you can point to why he's that wealthy. It's, you know, but, but with all these like royals and all these like lords, lords and so on, if we are, we are late, like it's, it's, we are still have all the trappings of a feudal contract. It's just most of the people taking the money are, you know, not part of that feudal contract, but we still have to abide by all the aesthetics of it. Yeah. Well, there are two kinds of the feudal lords, right? You've got the ones who are like, they've just sort of inherited their money because their father was like the great, great, great grandfather was like the boy lover of William the conqueror,

whatever. And you've got the ones, and you've also got the ones who like made their money in like their 80s by like selling like, you know, out of date porridge oats to the prison system or something, but then they were made like Lord of, Lord of Grewlsbury or whatever. Yeah, that's the difference, right? It's like all of our guys, like we have the same shithead guys who like otherwise would have become candidates, but the blob of aristocracy just absorbed them and turned them into like Lord and Lady Foxworth. So here's the next one. This is Prince Charles. This is going all the way to the top, the black spider himself. Where Prince Charles coming out in support of the pick for Britain

campaign, which is basically like this thing we realized, fuck, we closed off our borders to our biggest supplier of like our biggest supplier of seasonal farm labor. And farm labor in this country is very low paid. And no one wants to do it because just because it like minimum weight just because of the way that currency and, you know, purchase it sucks. Yeah, it's always going to be a shitty job, but it's a shitty job that's like remunerated extremely poorly and is basically the infrastructure only exists to do it if you were like brought over in like a fucking gang from another country, right? Let's just say that the minimum minimum wage here translates to enough purchasing power in Poland that some people have made the decision like

this is worth my time. We're not even Poland anymore. Like that kind of that wave passed over Poland and now it's like Bulgaria for the most part. I'm from a town where the richest guy in the town is the guy who owns a horse that's actually two guys in a pantomime costume. But in order to get the food from the ground into the food chain, basically. Into the M&S changing rooms, yes. In order to get the food from the ground to your plate, like that calculation worked. But because of... Close up quote.

Yeah. I would say it worked according to its own logic. You know, it was... Yeah. But now what we're seeing is like season three shit. The logic of Capysaur was like insane, but it functioned. Now it doesn't function. So now we have some other shit going on. The other shit going on right now is the pick for Britain campaign, which is now trying to turn farm laborers into troops. Awesome. More troops. And this also continues with my thesis that society is dividing into more locks and Eloi. And you can know the job is a more locked job because you're being told your truth.

No, we're just going to get the color coding from paranoia, right? You'll have a gray clearance or a black clearance or a blue clearance. So basically, pick for Britain is this thing where they're like, ah, we need people to pick all of this food that's going to rot in the fields because a combination of leaving the European Union and the coronavirus, which is just basically meaning that traveling seasonal work is no longer really viable. Yeah. Well, they started out with this like a few weeks ago where they were trying to get university students to do it and the university students all like obviously refused. And then

like there were people being like, oh, maybe there's too many genders to pick the vegetables. That is true. I do have too many genders to pick vegetables. Oh, I can't pick the vegetables because I boobs are getting in the way. Yeah. Oh, no, I can't pick this carrot. It's making me too horny. Oh, lemon-stealing whore. The most iconic porn film I've ever made. Yeah. So basically, Prince Charles, Prince Charles like just like fully like rub some beetroot on his face, fully redded himself up, got redder than any man I've ever seen, and then stuck his hands in his pockets and then put himself behind a chicken wire fence,

where he then said that picking fruit and vegetables is unglamorous and at times challenging. Who do it yourself? Your fat cunt. Well, no, he can't because he's got a he has ribbons to cut. Of course. The thing is about Prince Charles, I like in terms of there are like, there are like different kinds of royals and they exist on a scale from like malign to stupid. And he's definitely on like the stupid end of the scale where like Prince Charles is like convinced himself that he is a farmer because he like owns farmland and grows things. Yeah. I hate his fucking yeoman farmer shit, too.

And so like he probably does pick vegetables occasionally and he's like kind of he doesn't he's he's doing the like the Lucille blue thing of like picking vegetables, what can he possibly pay 30 pounds an hour? One of my one of my favorite anecdotes about Prince Charles is I say that like I have a lot and I don't. But when they got married, him and Diana went on honeymoon on the royal yacht and there's stories about her just like essentially simping for him. Like she would just be in in like a bikini that was next to nothing and be like, hey, you want to come in my room and fuck me. And he's like, no, I've got to read this novel by like this Rhodesian guy about farming because that's a novel by a Rhodesian guy about farming is also

presumably about like some kind of pistol they designed that you need to also the other thing is like Prince Charles is a stupid royal who thinks he's malign because of all like the black spider letters and stuff. So the food and farming sector, sorry, at this time of great uncertainty, many of our normal routines and regular patterns of life are being challenged. No, they're not yours aren't yours are the same. You just like literally just like now just more people have to do what Prince Charles normally does, which is clap things. How is he so bad at it though? Like he keeps putting out videos of him clapping and it's like it's the first time every time. I mean, that's the other thing is there's another dividing line

in the royal spectrum, which is royals who when they clap, it's like they've never tried to clap in their entire life and royals who when they clap, clap harder than anyone has ever clapped. You ever seen the Duke of Kent clap? He does it from the elbow. He's like winging his entire arm. They're so weird. He says, who does not happen by magic? It begins with our remarkable farmers and growers, but it does for fucking Prince Charles. It does happen by magic for him. Yeah. Well, because there are also two kinds of farmers, right? You've got the I live on I live to sit on a throne of turkey skulls and have a bar and then there's one just like, oh yeah, I was in a band with Damon all bomb that didn't go

anywhere in the nineties, not blur the other one. And now I've started like an alpaca farm and there's constantly making documentaries about me for some reason. Like as previous guests, Sarah Taber will tell you farming like farmers aren't laborers for the most part in the UK. They're management, right? Like they hire seasonal labor to do the actual work and they do essentially administration, right? So I want to bring in our Olga and live as well on this where we have Prince Charles assuring everyone that fruit does not happen by magic. Please come pick it, but we're not going to raise your minimum wage. Yeah. You guys going to go and pick fruit? Do you think? Are you interested in that?

Sounds like a good deal to me. Come to the come to the island that I think I guess I assume my ancestors were running away from to go like do genocide in the new world, come back and just start picking picking fruit. I mean, before before you agree, I do have to tell you that there will be a mandatory genital check every 15 minutes just to make sure that you're not any more trans. Yeah, that's the British version of a vibe. I assume that was like everywhere on the island, not specifically. Yeah, we've actually increased the rates of it for like to make sure that you're not getting trans in the food. So it's ancestors back then the surname was Posterbury. So it will be hard draft, but it will be hugely important if we are to avoid the crops not going to waste.

But again, the pick for Britain campaign offers no guarantees that the wage is going to be good, no guarantees that it's going to be that you're like room and boards. You have to go live on the farm. Is it going to get taken out of your wage? And they have no responsibility. They decline this themselves. They have no responsibility or liability whatsoever for any third party's obligations under the modern slavery act. I mean, that's standard copy. That's standard fine print. What I love about the UK in general is that I think they have this like emergency button, not really emergency. They use it all the time where it's like if they need something, they're just like, make it look like World War One. And so they're like,

we can't possibly pay them. What do we do? Oh, press the button. And they're like, make them look like heroes. Done. Yeah, emergency button has the second most letters robbed off of it. Apart from the racism button, which is right next. The racism button just has like an R. Yeah. We have the spin zone and the troop zone. Use your zone. We are, we are miles away from the cool zone. But we're always in the rip zone, buddy. I'm so glad that the cool zone, capital T, capital C, capital Z is like now a part of our Argo. Yes, absolutely. I've been thinking about the cool zone ever since we were talking about the fun zone on the stream. So here's the apotheosis of posh people being weird, which is Amber Rudd, the former home secretary and the architect of

the hostile environment, someone who saw sort of many, many, many Jamaicans and other Caribbean immigrants who had full rights to be here, be deported, many of them to their deaths, is constantly being epic on Twitter by quote tweeting her daughter Flora, who's a journalist's horny tweets. Yeah, it's weird. It's so strange. It is some step family shit. When we say that Britain has sick building syndrome, we're talking about this kind of thing. Oh, yeah. These are some cursed energy posts. And like all the stories married to like either living or dead newspaper columnist. What is it with that? Cause like Flora Gill is her daughter with A. A. Gill. Yeah. Amber. Amber Rudd. We're going to start this with some, because I pulled

some tweets of Amber Rudd and Flora Gill's bizarre interactions online. And it starts with Amber Rudd tweeting, I love both my children equally. How could I pick between the one volunteering to provide meals for those in need? And the one constantly writing about how horny she is. That's your child. Your literal child. And you were a government minister. And also, if there's one thing that Amber Rudd loves doing is taking meals away from people. Yeah. So another more recent one was how Flora posting, how worried should I be that over a 40 minute conversation with my mom on 11 a.m. on a Wednesday, she gets through two tins of cocktails. There's one thing you need to know about Amber Rudd. And it's that she's a fucking legend.

Yeah. Amber Rudd on the sesh, just deporting millions and millions of people, not even keeping track. Amber Rudd quote tweets this with snitch. Everyone knows lockdown has thrown all drinking rules out the window. So it's like Amber Rudd normally uses international drinking rules. I'm so excited for this to get exactly the same response as Diane Abbott drinking literally the same cocktail on the tube after work in the afternoon. Yeah. And it's is a there's like that obvious hypocrisy, but like we're season three hypocrisy is no longer anything. It's gone. It's dead as a concept. No one no one cares about that anymore. Let's go on to some more Flora Gill Amber Rudd tweets.

Why is it so horny? What's what? Why? I don't know. They're the horniest people. These are posh people are fundamentally unwell. Why? Why do they think it's okay to be horny to like at their mom? They're still sexually repressed from like the entire Victorian era. So they're getting it all out of their system still. Yeah. What kind of repressive girl school did Flora Gill have to go to that like she gets out of it, gets her like job for life as a columnist and is like, yeah, now I'm going to post 10,000 tweets about fucking Flora Gill secretly pulling the cover off of the table legs at girl school to get horny too. I mean, like listen, listen,

I have been known to do a horny tweet from time to time, but also my mom doesn't know what Twitter isn't. If she did, I would fucking kill myself. The thing is, right? Like again, I don't personally support horny tweeting. I think it's something that's probably excuse me. Look, Riley is just on some ace representation lately. It's cool. That's just like, but that's just kind of a personal vibe. I don't think anyone should ban it. And I don't I again, like Flora is Flora Gill is like kind of like a lifestyle writer who talks about relationships and stuff. It's just the strange thing about this. Isn't that she's, you know, posting horny shit, posting horny shit with your mom? It is horny posting, showering with your dad's kind of uncomfortable. Like

we're going back to only one showering with your dad. Exactly. But like this is we're back to the Lord Fox thing. This is one of those things that like it's not technically illegal, but it makes me feel so uncomfortable that I think it must be wrong. Yeah. So here's some more. Flora Gill posts a screenshot from Tinder. The guy who ghosted me 10 years ago on my gap year after I lost my virginity to him has now slid into my DMs to tell me that I'm the most important accomplished person he's ever slept with. And I think it's up for this guy pouring one out. I quit. I need the perfect response to which her mother replies, your mother would like to speak to him. I feel bad about myself that Flora Gill has simps, right? Like, and I feel bad. I feel worse

that she's then like exposing those simps for like clout with her mom. Yeah. And why does Amber Rudd want to fuck this guy? That's what I'm trying to understand. So I don't fully understand. I don't think any of us sitting around this table are actually capable of understanding why unless they're trying to do a comedy double act. Yeah. It's swell with two people. No, I fuck. I don't know. It's so weird and uncomfortable. This is the most uncomfortable I've been with like tweets since we read Derek Mackay's texts to that team. A cursed seed is germinating in my mind. The new Amber Rudd and Flora Gill basic bitch podcast, Rodellis, where they drink tins of cocktails and talk about boys they've slept with.

So here's another one. Flora Gill posts, post a picture of like a shop selling lube. Well, that's Mother's Day sorted then. What better gift is there than friction free fun? No, no, go to jail. Go to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 pounds. Go to the jail that all of the mares of Montreal are in. Yeah, damn. To which Amber Rudd hopefully an empty house is gift enough. Why are you posting lube at your mom? This is literally like this is culminating to like a fucking like extinction point, a vanishing point of like one of them doing the big huge comes in my pussy tweet, right? Like it's going to get worse until it can't get worse anymore.

And then we all tear our own eyes out like event horizon. The saddest thing about all of this is that this is making us realize that the cast of Trash Future are a bunch of fucking prudes and virgins. You take that shit back. Alice is as all the horniness. Yeah, that's true. I got like all of the sexuality. Unless you're going to tweet lube about your mom, you're not horny enough. Okay, I don't I don't support. I don't want my mom involved in any like lube related. No, gross. Here's the other one. Flora Gil tweets, not afraid to tackle the important issues. Here's why we all want to shag Rishi Sunak for GQ.

Careful with the use of the word all that. She is the originator of the sexy Rishi Sunak thing. And then Amber Rudd quote tweets, Flora, we have a very different understanding of the word important. Again, she's not disagreeing. Amber Rudd's still an MP, right? That's like, is that not actually sexual harassment? Because that's your co-worker. I think let's I think like maybe but like let's not let's not apply those standards, which we know don't matter. Yeah, let's apply the standards of it being fucking weird. In this case, I think it's clear it's clear that she's not like that that's not happening. It's just it's strange that your mother quote tweets you about you being horny.

It's weird and I don't know why they do it and I wish they would stop. It's strange that your mother quote tweets you. Flora Gil tweets, I'm so bored. It's only a matter of time before I quote accidentally release a sex tape. Amber Rudd quote tweets, please don't. Do they think this is banter? I think this is I mean, what does Amber Rudd know about this? Imagine anything is cursed as a Tory columnist sex tape. No, I like that.

Yeah, so this is this is this is again just from the last like, like this is not this is not like me going back to 2012. This is all relatively recent. Yeah. Yeah, it's not good. I don't feel good about it. I don't feel good about myself. This country is unwell badly badly. Yeah, where it's there is some special brain process that happens in the in the minds of the Posh that I don't think we understand. Yeah, there's like a there's kind of like a weird division in the Tories between like the kind of

the pure like the Matt Hancocks and the Liz Trusses. The Instagram Tories. Yeah. And then you've got like the kind of like the nerd Tories, like the kind of like the Theresa May end of the party. And then you've got all the chaotic horny Tories, which is like Boris Amber Rudd. Like Amber Rudd has like powerful horny mom energy. Apparently because she keeps engaging with her daughter's horny tweets. Yeah, I guess all of us are just pre rich.

All of this is good. I'm like, we're we're all going to celebrate you just pretty. Yeah, we're all we're all going to make money buying and selling oil and government debt now that both of them are priced negatively somehow. And then we're going to get rich and we're going to re re listen to this episode in like a year or so. We're going to be like, of course, now it makes sense. Anyway, time to send a dick pic to my family. What's that? Yeah. But by that point, you become so rich that the only currency is horniness. So I want to move on, though, from our our lords and masters who are all getting their getting their dicks out and getting paid for multiple sources and horny posting and,

you know, subscribe to like Rudd Gill family only fans. Yeah, exactly. Just calling everyone to be at war with all the stuff all the time. Just a confused a confused and strange upper class truly lions led by donkeys. So this was the aristocrats. Yeah, what are you calling an act like that? I mean, very I think that's probably a pretty good pretty good episode title. Oh, we've done that one already. We'll talk about Prince Andrew. We'll do something similar. So this is about you and Blair, who's written an article in The Times. So all that skills wallet stuff we talked about earlier.

Summon that back to the front. Who's who's you and Blair? I'm sure he's someone like who totally like meritocracy. Yeah, well, his his dad was a civil servant. Okay. Yeah. No, not going to inquire any further into this curiosity satisfied. I don't have any famous witch projects. So you and Blair of the Blair which project layers is Tony Blair's kid. And has we all know we've talked about this before his startup white hat, which aims to like disrupt university, but is actually just like a big tube of that

redirects public money towards you and Blair. Hmm. Why has Flora Gill sent Amber Rudd this big tube that directs money towards you and Blair? Friction free fun. Friction free fun. Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. So basically he's basically he's saying like university sucks. Sure.

We should stop. Yeah. Again, not wrong thing. University sucks. We shouldn't be doing it. Training ourselves did with the actual skills that are actually necessary to compete in the global economy. Kind of sure. It's just that he hasn't realized that those are, you know, I don't know. Posting. It's either podcasting or like

Twitch streaming or fortifying your water or fortifying your village for when the horse clans across advanced simp mechanics. Anyway, so he has written an article that's all about why his company, his startup, is the company that should basically take over all of British education. Getting a degree is becoming irrelevant. We need to retrain the nation. Damn. So it's back to training.

Sounds cool. When the COVID downturn stuck, it collided with a more persistent crisis in the British economy. Anyone want to guess what the crisis is? Not enough skills wallets. The price of Freddo's. Well, I mean, also, for example, you could have said, say, Jeffrey Epstein dying. Yeah, that actually probably it was a pretty big crisis.

It was like the one to punch. Yeah. No one being able to spell you and and you and Blair. Yeah, that's right. Well, no, I mean, it's the crisis, of course, of like long term structural on investment and managed decline of everywhere outside of some of London. That it also the fact that don't forget this guy, it's very rich of you and Blair to be like, university is not the answer.

When again, the policy, the policy platform that like he's supporting is the is the neoliberal one, which is education, education, education. I remember someone saying that. Let's turn every library and off license into a university. Yeah. Like, let's just like, it's have you ever been in the university? That's where I got mine. Yeah, it basically is like, let's oh, is this a farm?

Congratulations. It's now bovine university. That is what Tony Blair did. Like he was like, A bunch of Romanian guys being told they're going to go work at a university. Well, it was he's he looked at like at the fact that university degrees were becoming very valuable in 1990s. And he did the Neil, the big neoliberal social transformation,

which is which is the only other thing they can do other than transfer wealth upward is change the name of something and assume that that's going to have a great big effect. It's so funny to me that like he did MMT, but not about money only for degrees. And so it just became like with the with the financial supply. Oh, no, you can't add more money and make it like when you need a lot of something because that will make it less valuable. Whereas now you just be like, I had a degree printer go and now a degree is like absolutely meaningless, but also essential.

Yes. So don't worry. Ewan's here to fix what his dad started. Welcome to Pirate Mid University. He says the problem is a skills shortage that meant we were driving with the handbrake on. No one has any skills anymore. That's the problem. That's why we need more.

Yeah. No one has any skills. No one knows how to Twitch stream. No one knows how to induce people to like give you bits. Yeah, they're not in the fun zone. And no one's in the cool zone. No one's in the fun zone. No one's in the swim zone.

They're all in the like lead zone. The problem of zonelessness was one of the most acute in early and new labor's term. So Liv, before I jump into this article, I want to throw to you here. What are you feeling about this so far? Give me your vibe. About skills wallets and the education stuff. Yeah, what's the college vibe? Well, I just realized I didn't check my grades for the last semester.

I didn't see my fucking exams for the last semester. So I feel you. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe the reason for that was because of the anxiety related to trying to work forward to a degree that's entirely aimless and creates a large amount of mental health issues. And I know that I'll have no job for it coming out of it,

which is, I guess, a purely personal experience, but it's seemingly very connected to everything that's going on here. It's very common for some reason. Yes. Yeah. It's because we're all doing. I can't put my finger on why. Well, it was like when I think it was Andrew Adonis actually tweeted,

ah, 92% of left wingers still live with their parents. No, it wasn't with Toby Young. Toby Young. Ah, 92% of left wingers still live with their parents. It's like, 92% of left wingers still live with their parents. There's no fucking houses, Toby. You twat. You slag.

Yeah. Oh, Joe, you're a right slag for a Toby Young. So much give him a fucking club. Dave Courtney. So Ewan's basically has got this startup, right? And he says, we may have the most admired university sector in the world. Not true.

That's not true. America does. But it's all been an open secret that it doesn't deliver what our economy needs. It isn't working for the fifth of graduates who never recoup the cost of their degrees. And it's increasingly irrelevant to British employers to report that only a fifth of recent graduates are ready to hit the ground running. And it's like, again, yes, because we've turned universities into places that you go to get your class position confirmed, essentially.

So you are ready to then be deployed into respectable society. Take a look at, again, some like negative interest rates and kind of guess what you're going to do about it. It's not what university is for. University isn't there to produce. University should be about broadening people and giving them an education and enabling them to be like kind of like members of society with some sense of the underlying culture. It's not there to teach you how to be a management consultant.

But that's what all these people like, I mean, just reminding everyone that I went to business school and like the whole thing was just like, they were literally teaching you to pass management consultancy interviews. That was the entire course because like now no one wants to train their staff anymore. They were like, they would literally rather hire someone from with an economics degree from Bernard Matthews University, the humanities degree from anywhere else, because they just believe that you have to be a number. It's university is either what used to be job training or it's just a sift for people

who are too poor or too mentally ill to like be able to consistently like jump through all of the hoops. It sucks. Fuck university. All my homies hate university. It's increasingly, yeah, as Prez says, schools for losers. It's increasingly irrelevant to British employers. And again, you and Blair has located the problem with this entirely in the workforce.

It's like, ah, it's your fault that you're stupid about JavaScript. The problem isn't that say there are just fewer jobs because capital has automated more and more and more of them. No, the problem is we need to teach people how to like make a project plan. Learn to code, not in the way that you already learned to code. Like if you got a computer science degree and you can't get a job, what you need to do is you need to learn to code. Yeah, you didn't learn to code enough, not enough languages.

Yeah. So Cambridge University is cancelling in-person lectures until 2021. First time the Cambridge University has ever cancelled anything. Yes, that's right. As a result, young people are reassessing whether the student experience they purchase will be worth it. You know, you know, you purchase it like a chocolate bar or a hamburger. I'm a rational consumer.

I am a rational consumer and I am like, I can positively evaluate whether or not I'm getting my money's worth and if I'm not, I can go elsewhere. It's weak on revealing tons of phrase. What's the point of living in the society that you and Blair has envisioned unless you're already rich? Well, there isn't one. But like, why would he envision anybody who wasn't like him and everyone he's ever met? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, like it's because all you're doing is you are is he's saying, no, we have what we have to do.

The problem is, is that the lazy fucking workers of this country haven't oriented themselves enough towards the needs of capital. They haven't disciplined themselves enough. And so to give them more opportunities to discipline and improve themselves. I mean, the thing is, right? Everyone talks about how the the ERG and Dominic Rob and all those people, they wrote that book Britannia Unchained like many years ago, where they all said, oh, British workers are some of the worst idlers in the world and so on and so on.

Jamie Foxx in that. But the thing is, that's a common belief. That might as well be what you and Blair is saying here. It's the same. It's the same underlying belief. Yeah. And the impulse of all of this is the same as the aristocracy stuff, which is you can't do shit and we will just continue to rub your face on it.

Yeah. Welcome to season three, baby. Black hell. But we are in danger of overlooking a solution that's right in front of us. Retraining can give people a purpose and fuel our recovery. It is helped by a remorseless logic where if we are paying people not to work, shouldn't we pay them to do something useful? I'll show you a remorseless logic.

Yeah. So if you're if you're, hey, you know, if you're if you're furloughed and you're making 80% of your salary, which somehow is supposed to cover, you know, your rent and your food and your bills and your childcare if you have it and stuff. Hey, you also should be doing less leisure, by the way. Everyone has to make you with less except me, you and Blair, because I have this startup idea. I love to be given make work in the you and Blair vegetable gulag. So I also I want to I want to hear a little bit from Olga as well,

because you actually do know how to code. I why are you why are you exposing me like this? You can learn how to code and be horny. Those are mutually exclusive. If you know how to code and you're and you're horny, all you do is do ASCII art of boobs. I'm the ultimate simp. I went to university for computer science. Can you fucking imagine how fucking embarrassing is that?

So but what do you think of you and I'll tell you what you and Blair's plan is, then you can tell me what to think of it. Okay. By a happy turn of events, the funding is already available. The government has put 1.5 billion pounds into a national skills fund where it sits unallocated and ready to be put to use retraining. Oh, big skills wallet. Yeah.

So that's that's that's you and Blair's plan, basically, which is, hey, British workers, the worst idolers in the world are idling. Let's not let them idle. Let's instead teach them some skills. You know, which again, I'm sure many of them who are like already now being teachers full time and carers full time and on less of a salary and stuff are probably definitely ready, ready to absorb. Yeah.

Well, this is why I reintroduced my new startup, Teach Sunderland to Kickflip. What's your overall opinion on this? My overall opinion is that I need to meet more front end developers at parties while our fields rot and retired NHS workers are forced out of retirement while more guys can code apps for me to find new ways to be horny. Thank you. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's true, right? Like we've like we've realized where the actual gaps in society are. It's not that like there aren't enough AI developers. Like that might be a small problem. The real problem is that this the things we need don't pay anything. Yeah. Yeah.

She's a computer scientist. I pick vegetables we met on floorgillmatch.com. And when we shut off the tap of cheap labor to exploit and do those jobs that we actually need. Season three logic. They should make a university degree for how to like do like menial farm labor. Yes. That's the ultimate social solution. We literally have to do Bernard Matthews University.

No, they have that though. It's called land economy. How can I learn how to pick fruit online? You just operate a little fruit picking drone. But like that already you joke, but that already exists. Because like my and I have another window open of farming simulator. Do not talk to me about this. No, you don't for that already exists.

Because again, we remember that most of these automated drones and stuff do it was zipping around San Francisco doing deliveries are just controlled by people with in Columbia being paid pennies an hour. Like the fact is we are like I assume something is going to it's going to arrive to cover this gap. It's just that A, there are going to be a lot of morbid symptoms while we wait for the new to be born and B, it's going to fucking suck. Man, I wish the cool zone would hurry up.

We are not in the cool zone. No, the day to be a guy in Columbia, he used to make loads of money and wear flamboyant shirts working for Pablo Escobar. And when they shut down that now I have to control a drone in a super car. So what might a program of retraining look like? Again, it's not going to be about getting more people into the actual crucial roles that we know we need like carers and nurses and delivery workers and warehouse workers and fruit pickers and stuff.

The people who actually make things work. No, he says first learning particular if the particularly if it's government funded has to result in real skills. Thanks, Ewan. Absolutely no liberal arts ever. We need to measure success not by courses conducted but by skills gained. Absolutely no liberal arts ever. Yeah.

Okay, fuck. Like I just I hate being lectured on having real skills by Ewan fucking Blair, whose only skill is being Tony Blair's son. That's not true. It comes up with birdbrained fucking ideas like this and lectures people in this country who actually do things for a living about how they could retrain as a fucking like, I don't know, JavaScript, ice cream man or whatever the fuck it is that he's come up with this week when like there is only one route to a guaranteed job in this country and it's

having fucking famous parents and then you get a stupid fucking startup that's funded by the government to the tune of a billion pounds a year or you get a newspaper column where you get to write about people you fucked on your gap year and make 250,000 pounds a year and then you marry one of the startup cunts. Jesus Christ. This is a joke of a country. This is what happens when you don't kill your king enough. Yeah, yeah.

We have we have rising damp as a nation. And not the good kind. We have we have sick building syndrome in this country. You're licking them all. It's real bad. It's real, real bad. I don't want to read the rest of this. It's going to start the first one in a while for me.

Yeah, really part of that one. So here's the studio, baby, and the vape. They're bringing me back to the next two. The next two. And then we can go all go go on about our days. Second, training has to be employer led. No, no, fuck off. We are literally just using that 1.5 billion pounds of like, again, I hate to use the phrase

taxpayer money, but we're using it to subsidize the training needs of like, I don't know, pay for your own fucking training like Dice dredge. Like I don't give a fuck. Um, it's no good recreating the university system where demand is created in isolation to the jobs that actually exist. What does that mean? What the fuck does that mean? Everyone's doing grievance studies and you and Blair thinks everyone needs to do STEM.

University is for no, it's for job training, Milo. Nothing more. Yeah, it's another like stupid fucking thing in this country where we think that like, knowing things is something that belongs to the upper class. And like, if you like study something like esoteric, like, I don't know, like fucking like Latin or medieval French literature, you have to be a Lord. Otherwise, it's like a waste of your time. Like why, why is it so like incomprehensible to these people that we could live in a country

where someone could grow up on a council estate, but then fucking go to university and study something esoteric that they're interested in and still get a job? Why is that? Why is that so complete? Why do they think that's beyond the realms of possibility when like, once people went to the I mean, if you want my actual answer, it's going to go off into some esoteric Alex Jones shit and it's like, because they're demons and they hate all that is good or beautiful in the world and they look and act like demons and you can see the sulfur coming off of them.

That's right. That's right. People got to get ready. Finally, it is substantially more efficient to turbocharge existing schemes than to try and invent new ones during. Listen, if you want to fucking pioneer new heights in the study of montane, you do that in your own time, right? Because this McDonald's does need cleaning.

Yeah. Yeah. A system of incentives for employers to hire apprentices, for example, matched by more traineeships and boot camps to less experienced workers would strike the right balance. Fuck, you were right about the troops. Yeah, troops. Everyone's troops.

If you're in job training, you're a troop. That's boot camp now where it's because again, because if you're not going to compensate people for the work they do, if you're assuming that more and more people have to do essential jobs because of a sense of patriotism and the only people who get to be homo economicists are like bankers and AI programmers and stuff, then yeah. Like I said, you have a world of more locks in Eloi. You have a world of, yeah, you have the world. You have that world.

You're just after birth, Eloi. Yeah. More lock future. Yeah, you become more locks. I mean, this is, I don't think we think this is teleological, right? You don't have to end up as a more lock. It's just that becoming more locks is something that may occur on the path to the cool zone. I think Duluth said that one.

It's actually. Yeah, I think that's actually verbatim. Yeah. Yeah. Man, we should have had more Duluth in this episode because that was a horny dude. Yeah, yeah. And just like the original. Well, pretty much like, yeah, all of Duluth and all of Gutari is like the state is incredibly

horny just in everything it does and people are incredibly horny for the state. And I bear that out on Twitter every day. So yeah. Fascism is when you want to fuck your leader, basically. Yeah. So sometimes you just want to lick the boot. And the best thing you can do is like hope that it's a worker's boot. Like he actually jumped out of a window because he was so horny.

You couldn't deal with it. Dude's rock. Rest in peace. Yeah, dude's rock. All right, Pete King. You have an erection that lasts for more than four hours considered defenestrating yourself. Fellas, is it gay to jump out of a window because you're horny? Depends what you land on.

I mean, a man built the window. Yeah. Oh my. All right. Why are you getting windows put in in your house? What do you want to do? Look at dudes through the window. Hards, hards.

I can have tactical rifles. All right, it's in my house. Yeah, we got to roll. I think that's about it for us today. We're just abruptly ending the you and Blair good. That's what it's what she deserves. Yeah. So you and Blair fuck off.

University is bad. The cure isn't to make it into whatever you seem to want. But number two, as as ever, thank you to Olga for doing two calls with us today. I need to I need to cleanse myself by doing some JavaScript. And thank you to live for calling in today as well. Thanks for having me on. Oh, any time. A real pleasure.

Right. So I think we also have t-shirts as you know. You have the Twitch stream, which is Monday, Thursdays, Fridays. Not Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. Mondays, Thursdays, Sunday. Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday. Fuck yeah. Alice, you're on the Twitch stream.

I mean, listen, listen. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Okay. Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday at 9 p.m. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, but also Wednesday and Thursday. Yeah. You absolutely know what it is. So also, we have a Patreon five bucks a month, second episode a week.

You know what that is, too. Jewel, you're going to pay $5 to some people. We have one girl, so it's not gay. Liv and Olga, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Just watch my Twitch stream, twitch.tv slash live posting. I stream like every day. Please follow me on Twitter at Rock n' Rollga. I'm going to be selling something very exciting soon.

Flora Gayle, no. All right. Friction-free fun, everybody. Okay. All right. Let's head off later.