TRASHFUTURE - The Crazy Ass White Boy of Europe: Season 5% Begins

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

With interest rates going to 5% in the U.K., Milo, Riley, and Alice wonder how making the money more expensive will solve Spanish droughts leading to reduced olive production (for example). Also, we bid a fond farewell to the newest residents of the challenger deep and read an article about the dangers of the fifteen minute city in the New Statesman for some reason. If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We're going to be recording a live podcast in London on July 26! Get tickets here: https://bigbellycomedy.club/event/trashfuture-live-in-london/ *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows and check out a recording of Milo’s special PINDOS available on YouTube here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRI7uwTPJtg *ROME ALERT* Milo and Phoebe have teamed up with friend of the show Patrick Wyman to finally put their classical education to good use and discuss every episode of season 1 of Rome. You can download the 12 episode series from Bandcamp here (1st episode is free): https://romepodcast.bandcamp.com/album/rome-season-1 Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello everyone and welcome to the official the free one the official start of season 5 percent Hmm. Oh, oh yeah, because of the interest rate. Very good, my love. I love you. Actually, you're good. The rate of interest that I have in this news is high. Yeah. As you before we get fully into the, can I do like one very important plug up top?

Yeah, the interest rate, check it out. Yeah, check out the interest rate. If you are in Berlin, hall law, are you, Alph Berlin? I don't know how you, I'm gonna stop speaking German now. I have a show, if you're listening to this on Tuesday, the 27th, it's today, stop what you're doing and buy tickets to my show in Berlin. Have I organized it at slightly too short notice?

Yes, but it's your only chance. So the urgent, it cracks and sounding, uh, commonsy bitter, Alphden comedy, uh, get, get, get the force. No, I'm not a Milo Edwards show. That's right. It is going to be, uh, mega Alzger dripped midden, salsa. Thank you. All right. So, uh, we're not, we're, I'm just going to start over again. Welcome to the opening episode of season 5 percent. I think season 5, actually, the interstitial web series between season 4 and season 5, kind of started a while ago in retrospect.

Yeah, when we started to theorize about productivism or whatever. And now it's come real, and now it's come true. And we're doing season 5 percent, which is the real season. This is not getting confusing at all. Yeah. It was great. The season one lasted like two and a half years, and then season two lasted like three months.

Uh-huh. And then season three lasted for most of COVID. And season four was the post-COVID hangover. Look at the odd number of seasons are the ones that really have like the big hits in them. Yeah. Well, in the middle of the box set at this point, you're like, you're deep, you finished like one box of the box set.

You've like unfolded all the DVD trays all the way out. And you know, now you're ready for some interest rate hikes. Yeah, that's right. And we are going to be talking about those, of course. However, boy has there been a lot of news in the last few days. And I guess we can just fill in the, I'm going to leave some spaces to have our producer Nate fill in the details from what we know, but Nate keeps leaving. Yeah, he doesn't like doing that. I'm going to start again. Sorry, Nate.

Just know just what you do. I finessed this. What you do is you record both options and then you just have Nate pick one or leave them both in if they're funny. So you go like a submarine with five people in it has disappeared forever. A submarine with five people in it has been found alive. A submarine with five people in it has been found dead. A submarine with five people in it has been found.

Some of them were like partially butchered. The others, don't know part of these. A submarine with five people in and has been found some of them like partially butchered the others don't have passed a submarine a submarine with five people and it has been found alive all five people then. Yes. So the ocean gate are pleuriously called it ocean gate. It's pre-named. Get a room to close that otherwise which is really just an extreme version of water gate. It's like where the most water is. It's the, so the, this, the submarine disaster, of course, aka proof positive that successful visits

to the Titanic by Rich Weirdos was a low interest rate phenomenon. Yeah, that's true. And at some point you will have had your last successful voyage to the Titanic and then it just becomes a thing your society can't earn anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because the first voyage to the Titanic famously, no, very successful. That's true. Uh, zero survivors, then or now, really? So, uh, look, the, uh, you'll have seen most people have seen this, uh, going on, but five extremely rich men who decided that the normal, death-defying thrills that you can see with your eyes, like when you jump out of a play or whatever, were no longer fit for them. And so they were going to get into a kind of

Jerry Riggs piece of construction pipe made by another rich idiot, but crewed by that same rich idiot that had one button, a mad cat's controller, and then some lights from campinging World, I believe, just really, really thrown together shit. Yeah, and then what happened is one of them pressed the turbo button on the off-brand Logitech controller, and that made the submarine be not good anymore. And now they're all dead. They hit a blue shell. So, and you know, there's obviously this is something that it feels like something out of a previous news cycle. Like this feels to me like we're back.

They should have like some hot pads down there and they're like peddling it really hard. No, more like we're like we're back in spiritually following OJ's white Bronco on the rising up and down on. Hold on. It's not the white Bronco, you know what it is? Do you have a balloon boy? That's what it is. The multi hour news event,

a boy has become a drift in a balloon, much the same only. It's slightly grim, or consequences. This is like Christmas for classic news heads. Yeah, I have, I have been enjoying it. It's brought a further to Twitter, you know, that I think we didn't see since sort of Trump had COVID. Yeah, I kind of had that.

Everyone was just mucking in with a good bit. I saw a lot of people photoshopping sad I'm has saying into the cross section of the sub. I knew that was gonna happen, but it is, it's fun. It's enjoyable. The thing I enjoyed the most about it was that, so they're going down in the submarine to see the wreckage of the Titanic. And how they're going to see the wreckage of the Titanic is through a 23 inch computer monitor,

which is a way you could see the wreckage of the Titanic, like from your house. And you'd be like in a big room with like snacks or whatever. It's socially not under like a thousand atmospheres of pressure. Of course not. No, and they're not not typically, unless you've got a weird, sort of barometric chamber in your house. But also, there was one window on the sub,

don't worry, but it's in the toilet. So you can, you can look directly at the Titanic, but you have to be shitting. It's amazing. It's, it's, I got a blunt kid looking at the Titanic. Yeah. It's fung shway is what it is. In fact, that's looking at the Titanic. Yeah. It's fun shway is what it is. In fact, that's the shirt you get from going.

You can only get the shirt if you go. Yeah, it's in your prestigious. You can't have the toilet facing into the sub. That's the toilet the ghost sits on to laugh at you while it shits. So I thought there were fun shway heads there. I went to their website of Ocean Gate. This a pure, a pure T.F. startup had I ever seen one based on what they've said. And the CEO, Stockton Rush, interviewed in Smithsonian.

What a name. Fucking final fantasy villain ass name. Yeah. Actually, no, I retract that Metal Gear Solid villain ass name. Well, it's also his final fantasy. His limit break is definitely just like it kills him and four members of your party. No, as he's final fantasy, his, his limit break is definitely just like it kills him and four members of your party. All the one. No, no, no, what it is. It's villain ass name. It's a name that belongs in a Benoit Blanc movie is what it belongs to because

you can hear him say it because it sounds billionaireish, but in a way that's like legally distinct from any you've heard of. So,ton Rush built a sort of submersible craft purely for the purpose of killing his mother in a way where he would never believe to be the killer. Oh, I mean, that's the thing. There is so that she would cease to interfere with his ruling of the Roman Empire. I fully believe that there is a 2% chance that all five of these people are fine and have dodged billions in tax obligations are living in a tropical island. I fully believe that there is a two percent chance that is a perfect start to ascend.

This is the way Moge and Lewis has been talking all week. Oh, God, it's hot. I'm tired. Shut up. Stockton Rush said, there hasn't been an injury in the commercial sub- sub industry at over 35 years. I'm now resetting the counter to zero and I'm ready to take that chance. It's obscenely safe because they have all these regulations, but it also hasn't innovated or grown because they have all these regulations. No one's considered what if you died? No one's considered what if we put, what if we rated the window to 4,000 meters and then

went considerably beyond 4,000 meters? I guess the thing is, move fast and break things. Seems like a poor design philosophy for a submarine. Yeah. You want to move slowly and remain watertight. Yes, ideally. I'm trying to do that all the time. Well, so they said this in the company seems to be obsessed with cutting cars, doing things

on the cheap, on a basis that what's the worst? I like every other company. Exactly. And every other company you aren't at the bottom of the ocean under like thousands of pounds of water pressure. It's so weird though that rich people, even when they get experiences unfathomable, not pun there, for anyone else, they still try and do it on the cheap. It's congenital, they just do that.

They say the benefits of their submersibles, for example, it has zero tether management issues because they communicate by a cell phone. Yeah, and zero tethers. Yeah, no tethers. It's one button, very simple. One button, but it says go to Titanic. Essentially, yes. That is the button.

Yeah, one is another button next to it with most of the letters that have been worn off. It says something like, A's, this sim. Oh yeah, that's who we're keeping that one. We're trying to keep it as far away from the Prime Minister as possible at the bottom of the ocean Who sent the races and buttons on the challenge and

Also, it's pretty deep. It's out put on a diving mask and swam down there There are crude submersible solutions permit real-time modifications on site visual accountants and dynamic multi-stakeholder assessments But also configuration on site reconnaissance from the toilet only though. Yeah, flexible configurations to allow adding on to new technology and equipment specific for each client engagement. But that doesn't seem consistent with the, oh yeah, half this shits from camping world video that we saw of the, I assume, now, dead CEO. Camping at the ball in the ocean.

Yeah, we're going to pitch 10 in the Titanic, in the ridge. Yeah, but it's more than that though. They sued their former director of operations, David Lockridge, for saying the vessel was unsafe in a report claiming he preached an NDA. Oh, this is like a government's approach to drugs, you know, where they commissioned a guy, his next but to do a report on whether they should legalize drugs. And then the guy says, yes, and then they fire him for saying they should legalize drugs. So he basically claimed that he was wrongfully fired for raising questions about testing

and safety, saying this was problematic because our acoustic analysis would show only when a component is about to so they use acoustic analysis basically to show if it's safe anyway, it's wonderful. But that was the big USP though, right? It was like, we were gonna have this thing that's gonna tell you how the holes doing. It was made of carpet fiber, by the way. Uh-huh. But it only tells you. Nothing in fairness said really bad shortly before they all died.

Well, the problem is, this is Lockbridge, this is Lockbridge saying, as I'm quoting him, says, this will only give you a warning, milliseconds before an implosion. That's what it always say for milliseconds you get to be the most scared you've ever been. It's better to not have the warning. I would rather just die instantly than no shortly before I die instantly that I'm gonna die instantly. What are you gonna do in that? Have the world's fastest wank while looking at the record by Danny. Get a really fast Blumkin from a ghost on the Titanic toilet. Okay, wins it, K wins it, K wins it. I was really saying, damn it.

I became gay moments before that. What the fuck? It really learned something about yourself in your last microsecond of life, you know. Now some of them have to put you on the LGBT Rembrandt's wall or whatever. And he died cranking it to Billy Zane. And in our technicality section, the OGBT Memorial wall and then the second much larger died jerking it to Billy Zane Memorial wall. I like the industry.

Through the day for our died cranking it to Billy's a Billy's a kind of a masturbation Tulpa here, you know or like a psychopath right you masturbate thinking about Billy's aine and he just kills you instantly So it's the this obviously is like there's a lot more going on here And I think it's more will be more now coming weeks Thank you more we born board out in coming weeks. Yeah, thank you. More of a board out in the coming weeks. So I'm sure this is not the last you'll hear from us about ocean gate. It is absolutely the last we will hear from them however. Well, I don't know, maybe someone will go down to the wreckage of the Titan and then they'll

look out the jerking at toilet. And then it'll be stocked. Yeah, maybe. I mean, the thing is though, the media coverage of this was really interesting to me because as you saw, if you were on Twitter, everyone who read this story, like the second you felt any kind of like pang of humanity, the second you were like, oh, this is a pretty bad way to die. You were hit with another thing they did that made it their own fault, like another sort

of cartoonish thing. And so everyone who was paying attention to this was just like, damn, that's crazy. I hope they die. You know, they're all billionaires fucking send more down. But the news, you can't put that on the fucking television. You can't say that. So all the news could communicate was just sort of like intensity, which is like, it was so strange. They just had to look like countdowns, like when we knew all of these people were gonna die. That's the balloon boy element of it. It's like the live oxygen counter.

Yeah, that was pretty funny in a bleak way. Did Rishi Soonak having to give an emergency press conference being like, I hear what you're talking about, sending more billionaires down there, but we can't send good billionaires after bad. We can't afford to lose some of our great minds at creating jobs. Oh, that's not that's someone from TV. And it's not.

It's a good. It sounds a bit like Moss from the IT. But that is how we should see next. And that's it. It's an impression of Moss and the IT crowd. And you know what? It's a pretty good soon. I know it's all it means is a little more power behind it,

because Rishi Soonack went to the weird and non-seating and being normal lessons that all the Tories go to, and now he talks weird. Oh yeah. Anyway, and you need to add a non-seating to pronounce enunciating and being normal lessons. It's a bit of a tongue twist. That's right.

I'm gonna move on from the ocean gate, however. Yeah, from these dead areas. To the, yeah. To much like the rescuers. Yeah, from these dead areas. Two of the, yeah. Two much like the rescuers. Yeah, thank you. I'm like, I'm like, the oxygen counting zero. Well, the rescuers going like,

well, smoke away. Yeah. They smack off to the surface, can't. I can't believe you got the Australian, the lazy Australian tossing in. Oh, and I want to be in fucking find him. All right. The guy just did the bottom bottomy ocean grilling somehow.

I haven't had any segment league. I've been quite dead. Yeah. No, so I don't know if you all heard about this, but according to some anonymous Facebook messages sent to Catherine Berbel Singh in the telegraph, kids up in the U.K. and schools are identifying as cats, which of course we know is a hoax from the states that inspired 200 mentally unwell parents in Florida to call

like bomb threats into their school boards and appears to be inspiring policymaking across the entirety of the U.K. political. They got starma with it of all people. You know, but no, what you're saying that the right wing press snookered Starma with a kind of like a dodgy culture war framing of something and just got him to reflex response. I was totally troubled by the footage of such of George Galawai. Oh, it's not in the digital. Galawai, that's definitely not. That man was never given a knockout. and never will be. He was too late to be in Iraq. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. I was digging trouble by the footage of George Galloway, pretending to be a cat for Rula Lenska in a way that was highly sexualized. And I think children should not be imitating such lured acts, such as licking at your own hand as though it were a milky poor. These acts are perfectly fine and even cute when conducted by a cat, but when conducted by a cat,

but when done by a person, are of a lascivious and frankly uncouth nature. The thing about the kids are identifying as cats and there's litter boxes in schools, is it's a fucking lie. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, that's a fake story from the US.

You wanna know that it just appeared here. Do you know the grim detail of why that's a fake story or why it sort of like seemed to take off? So some US schools do have bags of like cat litter in the classrooms, but the reason why is for fucking like blood control if there's a mass shooting. It's great.

That's cool. Yeah. I like that there's sort of the approach to the mass shooting thing is kind of like there's some cat litter on it. Yeah. If there's a's a mass shooter. It's gonna be a hell of a mess You know ready to go Yeah, how is that how is that concern and what well? We better be Johnny on the spot with the cleanup Because oh boy blood stains if you don't get it out

You can tell perhaps that I've fucked up in my recollection of this. The reason why there's Kirstie Lesser and also a bucket, right, is so that like if the kids get locked in the classrooms while they're like cowering for their lives and the cops aren't coming in, is so that they have like a sort of, you know, emergency toilet is why. It's, yeah, it's not, it's for reasons related to school shootings rather than reason related to death was an autumn, like an autumn narrative that just about made sense in my own head. And I went with it. And the soon as I said it, I knew it was stupid, but I decided to write it out for as long

in the segment like it. I want to refocus back on this. I don't, I don't, I want to, I want to really drill into how the fuck I thought someone was like parming like fistfuls of cat litter into an open gunshot wound. I want to really know what was going on when I said that. That is the kind of crazy thing that like a fucking battle hard and like Wagner group guy with a yes you get very serious bullet wound you put a cat lit that in bullet wound. But the story is, right, that children are identifying as dragons, as lions, as a hologram, as cats.

Didn't that used to be co-boys playing for a time? As you're not. Firefighters. hologram is very funny. Like, I identify as a simulacrum of another thing. Like, I'm not identifying as the thing. I'm identifying as a representation of it. This is of course, I know it's made up,

but it's still a funny thing to make up. This is of course always according to someone who's quoted to someone who's quoted in the papers as Britain's strictest head teacher. As though, well, she'd be telling the truth because she's very strict, very down the line. And even if, even if, back in the day, the demon headmaster was Britain's strictness, that's it.

Even if you say, I'm sure with them, Jesus. Encounter a child who says, I'm a cat, I'm a kitty, I'm a hologram, I'm a cowboy, I'm an astronaut, I like, that's not, would never say that. That's a child, that is a child, being a fucking child. Yeah, that is a child playing a fucking child. Mm-hmm, yeah. That is a child playing pretend with you. Yeah. It is not a safe guarding issue.

No. But that's absurd. You can't be a cat, look at you. Your tongue is perfectly smooth. You can't even reach your head also, then you step said. It says, it says, this is a queer starmer of course, responding to this, saying the labor leader said he believed it is clearly ridiculous

for teachers to treat people says anything other than children after the telegraph piloted cases of students identifying as horses dinosaurs and other animals in school i mean he could have stopped it clearly ridiculous uh... yeah of course well it's and i get this comes back to like it the fact that this insane hoax about the cat litter thing is being repeated over here. Maybe some student is saying, I'm a kiddie. That's just a weird kid being weird.

Kids do say some weird shit. They may chose about this whole premise like. They say darn thing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there's an internal ecosystem of bullies. Deal with this kind of value. And it exists in a perfect ecological balance, right? That's why you can't have invasive species. The teachers, they need to be on the sides of the kids who are pretending to be horses and stuff, because the teachers can't be on the sides of the bullies.

That upsets the balance of power. Yeah, because also then when they're on the sides of the kid getting bullied, then the kid game bullied is a nox, so they get bullied more and then it all resolves them. Yeah. And eventually, you know, they get a regular job, you know, like columnist. Sorry, Alice, you're sick. No, no, no, I mean, I think the thing is Catherine Bebel saying her whole deal is being on the side of the bullies and, you know, being one. And it's just it's so Tweet and fucking annoying that like in the US, right, she wouldn't call herself on

Twitter, miss Snuffy, right? Because she's British, she does. And we just have to live with this kind of tweenness in our bullying, just forever, because that's, you know, this sort of fucking Victoria sponge tea and crumpets shit. My Snuffy ask, you could never have a candle. Yeah, the thing is, right? If there's a kid in school who just wants to pretend to be something else, the language for wanting to pretend, for wanting to do that, like based on Tumblr or whatever,

yeah, it's out there, but that doesn't mean that like, what do they think is going to fucking happen, right? Cause Catherine Burble sings whole thing is, oh, it means the kids are in control now But I The loot is one of the bad look at me. I am the captain now by this point. I would welcome it like Do fucking whatever radical Regio Amelia pedagogy shit you want right do the alternatives calling when the kids are allowed to smoke cigarettes and like the teachers by their first names. It's better than this shit. Italian school. Yeah, genuinely. You know that thing when you talk to someone and they're

like 5% annoying in a way that makes you know inherently that they went to a weird alternative program school where they were allowed to be annoying. That seems like a fair price to pay as a society for having any kind of educational system left. I think we maybe have to concede this one. You can get weird with it. You can do fucking Montessori statler ward off shit. I don't give a fuck. Just please, please for the love of God,

have some like schools that can employ teachers and like pay them fairly and treat the kids okay. And just that's all it needs to be. But instead all we can do is like more repression. It's weird. The factors we can't turn every school into B-dails. As much as their innovative policy of allowing post children to smoke cigarettes

and do class A drugs from a young age and tell the teachers to go fluff themselves is a fascinating educational insight. We cannot have a society comprised entirely of DJs. DJs have their place certainly, arm and fun, beard and DJ Irtsy. These are all straight people, but we must draw the line somewhere. We need serious people, bus drivers, accountants, occasionally lost adjusters. My B-dails bus driver's being fucking whimsical again. So B-dails bus driver's just crashing into the meeting, he's on ketamine.

Has whether Sir Keir thought a child could identify as a cat. Now I don't know what his answer is yet, but I know that the only possible answer you should give to this question is Are you a fucking idiot? Stop talking to me about this. I am the leader of the opposition. Stop asking me. These stupid fucking questions like I'm on E4 What the fuck are you talking about? But I know that Keir Starmer won't have said no he didn't say that he said I think children should be told to identify as children. That in a crowded field that is the most Keir Starmer

possible answer. That's so much weirder a sentence than just what? Like, because children never pretend to be anything else. Yeah, ever. It's a perfectly calibrated Starmer answer in a way that you know like people we've discussed at length How it's difficult to imitate Trump because everything Trump says is so Trump But it's also so kind of like the logic of it is so complex

It's like a chaos theory black box to understand what Trump would say, but then once you hear it You're like yes, of course and in similar with Starmer like that, like, that's like a perfect, because you can imagine him, he's triangle-ing all of the different groups he doesn't want to piss off. Like, he doesn't want to seem like he's like anti-trans or anything, but he also doesn't want to seem like he's pro sort of Tom Fulery. And so he's sort of come into this, like, children can identify as whatever they want as long as it's child. Like, it's like, it's the James Bond, like Iris closing in

on like a random section of terrain. Tell me, what a child is a child running around a playground saying, I am a dinosaur, not identifying as a child. No, no, no, this is the thing. Like for ages, you're sort of like anti-school, anti-bed time anarchists were like, man, even a child like set of whimsy, like owns and triggers

the state. And it turns out they were right. We actually maybe do have to abolish the corner. But also it's like so many of these right wing cultural, political, hobby horses, it's just these people are just riffing, right? They riff and riff and then whatever kind of hits, whatever hits and catches on, then they all just start believing it. And then, and then basically the job of the right way media is to go make Kierstarmer respond to whatever some fucking dingus in Florida cooked up about their kid be seeing a litter box.

Like, that's the point of this whole thing. It's just a constant improv game. And then the people who are trying to take all of this very seriously, they can't or won't see that. And so of course, Kierst Armor is going to be presented with a ridiculous fucking question. And then he's going to have to pretend it serious because he has to pretend that someone out there

really believes that in a sort of worked out sense. Not that someone just came up with it and it hit and so it kind of just became the line. Yeah, and imagine sort of like being kissed after I'm around trying to take like a longer view of like, what do I have on this? Right, moving by the way. What do I have on this week, right?

I've got, I do something about like, you know, the interest rates and the mortgage crisis and the rent crisis and the kids pretending to be dinosaurs. Those are my four big issues this week. It's like, at what point does any of that hit home that is a waste of your time? I don't know why. It feels as though Bernie Sanders came the closest to like

shattering the paradigm. Yeah, truly. When people ask you stupid questions, you can just say that's a fucking stupid question. Like the closest we got in this country was Mick Lynch. That's a point. That's a point. Mick Lynch is not a politician and therefore able to like not have the sort of brain melt into the main frame that they all have where they're like, well, I couldn't possibly ignore the stupid rules of this stupid game that doesn't matter. There was there was one time and it was weirdly not someone who I rate, Jeremy, is Angela Rainer. If you recall, well, these old online sausages, Where she was just like, just gave her like this

look like she had just said the dumbest thing she'd ever heard in her life, because she had. Which is true. Yeah, because she had. I was just thinking to like, of course, I'm going to nationalize. Even, like, even, even Corbin would like try to answer these questions by reframing it to a compassionate place. Yeah, he would kind of like, well, of course, we're not going to nationalize sausages, but I do think that every child should have sausages if they want the sausages. And they would go like, mad, communist, Jeremy Corbin, forcing allow sausages down your child's throat.

But now, all we get is, just, well, of course, I'll accept your framing. Thank you for the framing. I welcome your framing. I would encourage it to go further by perhaps I'm doing a mount. I really want to make the movie trailer being kissed, I'm an owl.

Copyright, copyright. You can't do it unless you do it for us and we can appreciate it. I'm a Thomas Thomas. John Malkovich in being kissed, Stonmer. The point of these messages, even if it is, like, to even if someone is saying, yes, I'm a horse or whatever, this is not some, either, it's just like the concoctions

of some adult mind of someone on Facebook, or it is just someone being a fucking child in the classroom, maybe even a weird child, right, who is saying, I'm a horse. And that used to just be kind of a weird kid and now suddenly it's a national crisis where everybody in the entire country is expected to join the side of the fucking school bullies via the teacher. Alice you pointed out something that other things that Kierstaar might have been thinking

of and this is going to be the third segment before we go into our reading and boys at a fun reading I love this reading I'm very excited for it. Amazing. That's what a sad lesson. It's about, of course, the ongoing cost of living crisis. Yeah, the cost is less. Yeah, they put the damn number at five. Oh, nah, and turning, turning up the big contradiction dial. Well, kind of, right, because we have, and this is all in the, how to do that. The racism button was at the bottom of the challenge of trench. Yeah.

Well, this is a morbid symptom, right? Because under the old paradigm, right, where we have a completely globally distributed set of supply chains, and everything is always reliably cheap and can be made cheaper by finding some efficiency, usually, right? That efficiency usually not being a technological innovation, but a regulatory skirt, a labor arbitrage stuff like this, will make things generally cheaper and be disinflationary.

But now, right, we have a new thing where that doesn't work. And also, none of the all of harvests are succeeding. Canada had a drought, and lots and lots of things are happening. Yeah, we've ran out of places where stuff was normal to off shore to. Now it's just kind of fucked in a slightly different way everywhere. Riley's keeping a brave face,

but he's very upset about the all of the obvious. He can see it. He's worried about the anti-pastisitiation. And so what happens is we are attempting, or we, the sort of the people in charge of the country, specifically the people in charge of the country and the people in charge of the country, specifically the people in charge of the country and the people in charge of the Bank of England, are attempting to fix a material problem

with a purely financial solution. That means they attempt to fix a problem that is, for example, there are poor olive harvest in Spain due to climate change. And it seems like it's a little more. But they can't, you know, any practical thing is just off the table now, because governments and banks don't do that.

You can't build more olive factories, right? But the bank of England needs to become like trash huge and you take our approach, needs to be the bank of England olive farm. That needs to be planting olive trees on the roof of the bank of England, which now has the appropriate climate for growing olives. So, but let's, let's talk about this, right? Like it's first it's worth asking, why is UK inflation worse than other developed markets?

How is it because of the stuff we did? Well, yes, actually it is because of all of the stuff we did. Oh, down you know, that wasn't gonna be that. But also, and then ask, how come there's nothing that can be done about it? What is inflation really? All of these things are worthwhile question to ask. I'll start with a third one.

What is inflation? Inflation is, it's not just some force of nature like gravity. Inflation is basically a distributional conflict. It's a conflict of who gets what between buyers and sellers, especially buyers and sellers of labor. It's who gets what between asset owners and rentiers, whether that's a bank who has, who's lending up money for houses or a landlord who's renting out houses to people, right?

It is, and in every respect, inflation, responses to inflation are about picking winners. It's about trying to end that distributional conflict by creating a winner. It used to be, and this is also true with disinflation, right? When we had, when we went to a period of zero rates after the financial crisis, tried to incentivize investment and stuff, we could have gone one of two ways. We could have gone the way we did, which is do nothing. Pull money out of the economy, stop stop public investment, stop things that will empower one group of those people who are on one side of that tight, namely us and the listeners and all those people. But on the other hand, we did do all

the like season three stuff where we made the economy out of scams. That stuff. Yeah. And unless you're listening to this with the last remaining beer of oxygen at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean inside the submarine, in which case, you would be on the other side of that. Yeah.

And please do make sure that button. That's right. But we can do you a fun message that we did for the other guy. Yeah. Right. But we're talking about that solution to the distributional conflict, right? How do you a fun message? Why we did it for the other guy. Yeah, so, right, but this is that we're talking about that solution to the distributional conflict, right? How do you make the economy go without upsetting the balance of how our team workers in capital

in fact, by favoring your chosen group and to have an environment of low rates, but without investment, without really very much wage growth, right? All of that is how you solve that problem. And then how do you respond to another set of distributional conflicts, this time over just the price of material stuff, such as energy, such as food, things of that nature? Yeah, all of this is actually a really important one

because olive oil is a staple crop and there's a huge shortage of them right now. Because Spain is on fire, basically. This is as much about climate change as it is about Ukraine. This is a cost of adaptation issue. It's not just a cost of living crisis. And so that distributional conflict is again being worked out by jacking the rates up because the prices are all very hot.

Yeah, jacking the rates up. And so then we can say, okay, well, how, how come inflation in the, you, how come that distributional conflict in the UK is more acute than in other countries where inflation has now started to fall that conflict. We did all the stuff we did. We turned the economy into scams and then we ripped all the funding out of any of the public services, which as I am reliably informed by a guy called John Maynard Keynes, makes it so that the inflation goes less because of the stuff. Well, I'll give you an example, right? One of the things driving down worker participation in the economy and so making it hard to hire people is people being

inactive for long-term sickness. And one of the reasons they're long-term sick is because you can't get a fucking doctor. Yeah, right? So that's funny, though, because that's one of the reasons they're long-term sick is because you can't get a fucking doctor. Yeah, right? So that's funny though, because that's one of the areas where we've managed to finesse this. And when we talk about the mortgage crisis, one of the things that comes up is like, well, nobody's too worried yet, because unemployment's not that high. But if you've walked around in Britain,

you may have noticed that a lot of shit not getting done, right? How can this be so when unemployment is not high? And the answer is everybody's off work long term sick for mysterious reasons we won't get into. And it's like, okay, cool. So we just like shoved all the numbers out of that column into this other column.

We made the lenders look at this one column and they say that's fine, we're just gonna keep doing that. That's fine. Yeah, this guy Nick Leason came up with it and it ended very well for him. Or even stuff like having a well-developed transport infrastructure. That's disinflationary because it's cheaper

to get stuff around, right? That all of these things reduce costs, but if you're going to instead of in maintaining any of that at home, if you're going to balance the books and then ship the contradictions out elsewhere to keep costs down, you can allow all that infrastructure

to crumble, everything gets shitty and expensive here, but that doesn't matter because the goods are cheap because everything will be cheap forever except when it isn't. And so now that, well, everything isn't cheap anymore, a lot of those chickens of just, we kept on pulling the carplunk like sticks out of the economy, the carplunk has now happened.

We're in the car plunk. The car has plunked. Uh huh. We have janggood at this point. Yeah. Join me, Mr. Shapa. And so the idea, right, that the economy is somehow running hot, because that's what the Tories in the Bank of England keep on saying, right? The economy is running hot, meaning too many people have it too good. Too many workers have it too good, because their pay is too high, which means that the price of stuff is going to go up, which means we need to engineer a social catastrophe that will claim probably another fucking 150,000 or more lives in service of the line. In service of price stability without attacking rentier interests, that's the key, right?

Price stability, but without attacking rentier interests. That's the key. Right, price stability, but without attacking rentier interests, without actually investing meaningfully, which would also be seen to attack rentier interests, because you would need to empower, because having something like a functioning health service is empowering. That's empowering for workers. What's really funny is how much of this at the moment

is just in the form of asking nicely? Like, food prices get too high, we ask the supermarkets to maybe voluntarily charge a bit less. You know, the mortgage interest rates go up, we ask the lenders to be a bit nicer to borrowers. And it's like, again, we're, you know, minimum viable socialism. You're being dragged, kicking, and screaming into regulating any of this shit. And even then, even then, you still don't want to invest anything anywhere.

I love the way the UK government operates. It's like first year university student, lurching from like essay crisis to essay crisis. Everything we do is done badly at 5 a.m. like 15 coffees in. And like in a way that is like far more work, effort and expense and with a worse outcome than if you'd have just done the normal thing that was obviously the right thing to do like a year ago. What's intervened materially, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The attempt is to never intervene

materially because otherwise it's too good. Yeah. It's like, it's like we all know that when you don't pay the nurses and doctors enough, they all fuck off to other countries where they can earn more money. And then the nurses and doctors you do have left are overworked and then you have to supplement them with agency nurses who cost way more money and you end up spending more than you would have spent if you would have spent if you'd have just paid them what they asked for

for a shit of service that doesn't work, but somehow that's good management. The way that I understand it, right? Especially the way that I understand how they understand it, is they think, okay, the economy is running hot, right? It's like a car, and they think, okay, it's like a car we've revved too much. But what it actually is, is it's running hot

because you sold the fan belt because you decided it was too much weight, you it actually is is it's running hot because you sold the fan belt because you decided it was too much weight. You didn't want to press in the accelerator pedal. And now you've seen that you're kind of slowing down and your engine is overheating. And what you've decided to do is see how many lug nuts are really that necessary to keep the wheels on. I hope you're happy, government. You've forced Riley into a car metaphor. He's just about come out of it unscathed. Yeah, but it's, it's, it's, it's engineering a recession via rate rises to solve a material problem, right?

You can't just decide, well, I guess I'm gonna eat two meals a day and not heat my house. Now, the Treasury Office, they're like the timing chain. But like, food prices are high, not because the economy is too good, not because people are getting paid too much, and those both the wages that are rising by the way are rising

at the fucking top. People on low wages have not had a pay rise. Interesting how that happens. And how does raising the interest rate solve the drought in Spain? How? But some of those people on very high wages are actually thinking, as we speak. You actually have higher wages, which again, you get by, a train is such a perfect example.

Does it mean that someone is able to get to, they're able to get to more jobs? Yes, they can have a higher wage, but also it means they're not like, maybe spending as much money on petrol, they're not spending as much money on a car. They're not like, they're not servicing car payments, which is also like all of this stuff contributes to the contributes to things like inflation.

And but having good public transport allows people to say get to different jobs so you could maybe leave your bad job and get a better one, right? But if you have higher wages, but that requires higher investment, which creates higher wages as well. But then if you solve that problem with maybe price controls, like we did with the energy, we did price controls, and it worked, it was incredibly disinflationary.

Yeah, but we didn't like it. Yeah. Yeah, we did it at the moment where we were completely forced to do it because otherwise the economy would have caught fire. You would have got the millisecond warning and then the whole would have imploded of Britain, right? Then they were like, okay, I guess we'll put like a fucking acropole in here to just about keep the whole from imploding.

And they were like, we're not adding any more of these acropoles though. We've drawn the line at one acropole, and we're gonna take it down at some point. If it implodes again, it implodes. At least we'll have done it sensible. Yeah, we'll have imploded honorably. It also will be. I think a sensible implosion done in the correct way

under the right circumstances could be a great thing for the economy. I mean, it is basically the same thing. It is like sort of rich people's death drive really coming to the fore here, right? I can get into the fucking submersible that they're going to bolt me into that has no tracking device. I can get into the British economy, which is like propped up with the one fucking thing and which is going to gonna also implode.

We live at a brave new world in the challenger deep, and I'm asking the British people to thrive and adapt in the way that they did during the blitz. Can you and your neighbours learn to bioluminesse or exist on their forms of algae? We're assuring a new Britain here on this seam out. Bible can't expect consider a career change into being a Greenland shock. Your next career might be as a blob fish.

That's right. It could be. Um, but it's not like, I think it's also worth pointing out about like renters, mortgage holders in the rent your economy is that it's not like, I think it's also worth pointing out about like renters, mortgage holders, and the rent your economy is that it's never like about high rates versus low rates. It's about asset owners and those who don't own assets. Hmm. And the idea that, oh, well, this will be good because rents will go down or up or fucking sideways. Doesn't matter because you have, if you understand this as a distributional conflict, then you'll understand that the distributional conflict doesn't start an end at inflation. The distributional conflict is between, for example, renters and landlords, because the

renters will simply charge what the market will bear. And whether that means that there is inflation eating into their profit margins or not, it doesn't matter, because they will just charge what the market will bear. That's all that really, they don't set rents on the basis of like wages or prices or anything. It's just purely, what can I get out of these people? Yeah. Although I guess if everyone's mortgage rates are going up, then you can rely on like a larger proportion of landlords are likely to put the rent up out of like

scarecodes and necessity. So therefore what the market will bear will be sort of like the handle be forced a bit by circumstance because renters Like if everyone puts their rent up even if you can't afford it You kind of got to live somewhere But in a low rent environment then there were lots of consolidations of landlords Which make crease the market power of those landlords which put the rent up. Oh, don't get me wrong So it's a dickheads under any of that mean is like heads. I win tails. I win right like heads under any of the means. And heads I win, tails I win, right?

Like every circumstance, the economy is doing better, good for landlords. The economy is doing worse, good for landlords. Curiously, in this instance, the economy is doing worse, much worse for renters, but also worse for people with mortgages, right? And those aren't people who, I'm saying I sound like the British Medical Association here, that's not supposed to happen with heavy air quotes, right? Like that was supposed to be a sort of like middle class wealth building thing. And I know Riley have your theory of like, you know, the wire is shrinking as sort of like

the contradictions get heightened and like fewer and fewer people are like protected and insulated from the economy in the way that sort of like mortgage holders had traditionally been held to be. But I don't think that's the case. I have a different theory. My theory is that it's purely generational, right? I think that now that you are starting to see even the luckiest or most privileged people in their thirties starting to be able to like get mortgages, you get this sort of like, you know, boot coming down on the hand and on the like ladder run. I think it's purely a generational thing because, you know, the people who are older than them can, can rent to those people and keep renting to them forever.

I like the, the, the, the Tory party are trying to phase out their electoral mandate, like the way they're doing with cigarettes in New Zealand, where like people below a certain age, like born after a certain year, will simply never circumstantially be able to vote to a Tory, like they'll never, and the Tories aren't interested in winning their vote because they think the old people will never die. So, they're just the old people. Facing the Tory party out. Well, this is where we get back to.

We've just got to wait a minute. It's genuinely, it's a whole generation that never really thought about their own mortality at all. And it's like held that belief perfectly unscathed their entire lives until the moment they die. They have the submarine implosion alarm awareness of mortality. And it's going to, it's going to stay that way, you know? Yeah. And so when we, when we talk, it's going to move on, but when we talk about this is not

supposed to happen, it's like, that's the lot, it's that you, and so when we talk, it's gonna move on, but when we talk about this is not supposed to happen, it's like that's the law, it's that you think you are a pretent, nurses that used to be a good middle class job, they weren't supposed to be going to, I get in heavy scare quotes. Yes, they weren't supposed to be going to food banks until they were, you know?

This is, these are widely believed things that can become pretty untrue pretty fucking quote. And you know, this is when you choose to have a, when you resolve every distributional conflict in favor of, let's say, the largest group of powerful people that you can, right? So you pick whoever you can without upsetting the Apple card, so to speak. So you say, okay, well, it used to be that we could keep people with mortgages and people who own their assets outright inside the wire, right?

I'm sorry, people with mortgages, but you know, people who own their assets outright, you're now no longer inside the wire. We've had to do this in order to keep things roughly as they are. Those sort of bars would have to, we would have to do things like invest. We would have to change the balance of power between labor and capital. We would have to do things differently. You can even put a number on this, by the way, because about 50% of British adults who are paying for their accommodation, paying for their housing rent, about 25% on their home

of the mortgage, and about another 25% just own it free and clear, right? And so we've shrunk from, we're going to protect this 50% of the economy at all costs to, we're going to protect this 25% of the economy against all costs. And it's like, yeah, this kind of retreat is probably not a good sign. Yeah, and this is just, if you're at the end of the era of cheap everything and you refuse to change your economic model, this is going to keep happening. The British government is like scrooge being visited by the four ghosts and then being like, yeah, nice, fine,

actually, no, I'm gonna carry on as I am. Fuck tiny, same little dickhead. This is not when I was just at someone that says the needs of stroke. Yeah. Uh, can't compare the wall Keneway or muscle five is a building. Yeah. It's like with all of this disinflate, these disinflation area effects gone, the only thing they're going to have to do to deal with constant price spikes as everything fucks

up is putting the interest rate up. And whether you and where regardless of where is putting the interest rate up and whether you and where regardless of where you put the interest rate and a rent your economy heads rentiers win tails rentiers win that's it cool yeah Bob Cratchett sent free ghost round really sport my evening I'm gonna sack him I want to I want to talk about a fun article yeah okay this is course by, this is in the new statesman, it's called the 15-minute city is a working class nightmare by Michael Lind. In the new statesman,

bastion of liberal intellectual Britain, it's like, you know what, we're gonna publish, we're gonna publish an article by the guy who wrote Vietnam the necessary war in 1999. Ooh. In 1999. In 1999. Yeah.

And also 50-minute cities and other made up non-issue that no one actually cares about aside from Mike Lunatics. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Actually, I have his bag. He also wrote a book called What Lincoln Believed in 2004? Uh-huh. Great.

He is a, works for the new America think tank, which is funded. Would you believe it by the Ford foundation? Oh, no. Just just keeping that in my, sort of my back pocket as, and anytime it comes up in the art school, which it may not, but if it does, I'm just going to like whisper very essentially the word, fall into the microphone. Yeah. And he is. Yeah. Yeah. He is You know, have any people you like as long as they're, wait. As long as they're in Brazil. Yeah. You have some boys from Brazil.

Yeah, he can have a lot of them from Brazil. Yeah. Yeah. So, Michael Lind, writes, the idea of a 15-minute city sounds appealing. Who wouldn't want to have everything they need? Work, healthcare, education, shops, and leisure within a short walk of their door. I was done the spectator article thing, right?

So just in the first paragraph, it's like just lists an obviously good thing and it's like, wouldn't that be good? Anyway, just, well, It's not cool. Yeah, and just like, what about this insane scenario I have invented in my head? Join me in the brain, dojo. Yeah, the idea of the 50 minutes that you sound appealing, but it we're talking about help those people get out of that submarine, is it? That's right.

Well, the submarine is kind of a 30 seconds, if you could fit like a shop and a cinema in there. It's easier. You'd have milliseconds of fun. I mean, they are, I would say perhaps a two second crawl away from the gaze on it. You could call the toilet whatever you want. Yeah, I mean, it looks...

It's insane. Look, it's fucking, it's five dudes in a tiny tube, probably pretty hot in there. I'm moving on. I'm moving on. Look, if life gives you lemons, you can choose to make lemonade or not. That's all I'm saying. I'm moving on. But that was the perfect bunch of lines of the joke.

So says Michael Lind Lynn only brief reflection is needed and boy can I tell you he clearly has got for this issue only brief reflection to depth that's like all it's biology 101. Yep and it doesn't get more complicated than that. That's right. Only brief reflection is needed to demonstrate how impractical the idea is consider work. Oh, I will Michael. I have to. Majority of Americans in the private sector work for companies with more than... It's in the new states, but it's in a British magazine. Majority of Americans in the private sector work for companies with more than 500 employees. And some of these firms, such as Coffee House and Drug Store Chains,

may have establishments in many neighborhoods. Other jobs require certain employees to commute to a central office, warehouse, or store. I mean, a lot of them don't. We've literally had proven to us that many of them flatly just do not. You can stay home. You can work in home. That, but Alice, those are the white collar fake stay at home jobs. Like, for example, like a Lindwood have. Okay.

What about people who have to actually go into work? And I, I think we're going to get a nice bus or train or bicycling or also, also, it's I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I sort of like getting to a problem of like, why don't you have a 15 minute country? Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, well, why not? Actually, well, well, that's why we should all move to Luxembourg. Yeah. Like, what policy does he think is being mooted here? Like, all of the cars are going away, and if you live in a suburb,

you're gonna have to like walk to your Amazon. Doing the like North Korean defector thing, where it's like in the UK, if you take 16 minutes to get somewhere and a Lama goes off in your car dashboard and the police kill you Well, yeah, the alarm goes off and then 30 seconds later your car implodes It's more access 30 so I could easily get out of a car in 30 seconds No, I don't know all right

I could like to roll myself halfway out of a car and twink. I could scratch your bow to the law in 30 seconds. I can struggle with the seatbelt for 30 seconds. I said, all right, 21. I think I meant all right, 24. Anyway, mere access to public transport is not enough. A Brookings Institution study found that only 30% of potential jobs were accessible to American urban residents using mass transit, but he's writing for the new statesman about

Britain. America famously a country which has no fucking public transport like America is an outlier in this regard because they're insane. When people go on about like they bring the walkable cities discourse over to the UK and it like, British cities are pretty walkable. What are you talking about? No one built a four lane highway through most British cities. You're talking about America. Glasgow has entered the chat.

Yeah, no, I just, I think maybe if that's the case, you should have more public transport or better public transport, just a thought. Also, what you can't have that, because it'd be gay. He said, actually, when you want to go down in the submarine with Also, what you can't have that, because it'd be gay. He said, what do you wanna go down to the submarine with five guys? A mo-income worker with access to a car is twice as likely to get jobs

and four times as likely to remain a boy. Sorry, sorry. Access to a car. Yeah, also, access to a car just means you own a car or more likely, you lease one and the interest rate is whatever the bank of England says it is. Hmm, let's call it access to a car.

Really obfuscates the monetary relationships. So except that a few of the world's densest cities such as New York, Tokyo and Paris, London, not mentioned. Public transport is no substitute for this. London famously less dense than Paris. That's Paris. Public transport is no substitute for the speed and convenience of point to point travel in an individual vehicle.

Like, hmm. Yeah, it's, who goes, isn't that, didn't ya? Yeah. People will never take away the model T. He is the backbone of Americans' society. Also, it's like, it's, hold on, you're talking about insidies, right? Mm-hmm.

I'll get to that later, I'll get to that later, sorry. It says, then there is retail. There is a reason why in the US and other countries and other countries, name one. Big box stores with bars and prices are located on cheap suburban land. You may be able to walk to a grocery or chemist in your city, he says nodding to the nationality

the publication he's writing in. But thanks to high land prices and property taxes, corner stores are likely to have limited space and more expensive goods. So like, do you imagine there's like an off license the size of a Costco? Like, yeah, okay, I do yearn in my heart to go to big Tesco sometimes, and big Tesco is far,

and the Tesco Metro is not and has less and chisier things. Fine. But like, I also don't know what, there is a bus. You could just get on the bus. I just do that. The government, they want to ban the big Tesco. They don't want you to go. They want you to be stuck with the small Tesco.

You're going to be in there. There's not very much bread. You're choosing between. It's over price. They've only got the King's Mill. They don't have any of the freshly baked loaves. you're choosing between it's overpriced. They've only got the King's Mill. They don't have any of the freshly baked loves. Do we like?

Do we like the King's Mill folks? Boo! Boo! Boo! Oh, hey, that's whoa. They never, they never have the green tie curry paste. You can't get it. You can't get the paste in the small desk.

You got to go to the big desk, go. But they don't want you to go. Well, it says, that's the other question, right? Is he's talking about cities, right? So does he think that there should be big Tesco in Soho? Yeah, I think we should turn Soho into a big test. Yeah, massive Tesco, mega Tesco. But it still has like the porn theater and the brothel white in the middle.

It's like a nail house, you know, it's like if we only upzoned the Tesco Metro in Soho or the co-op or whatever it is on the on Brewer Street or whatever, I don't go to Soho, we could then finally solve like we could make it a more equal city because people could drive to Soho to go to the big Tesco instead of going to the one. And then from the road here into a car park. Oh, well, that sort of was the London plan.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. We're gonna have the Greek supermarket on Poland Street. We're gonna have the Polsky Sclep on Greek Street and everyone will be solving. Housing speaks to, we'll be limited in a 15 minute city. No matter how much limited in a city, it's that's what a city is, because you have less respect,

because the density, because the density. Housing has never been limited in cities. I'm very intelligent. He was literally just talking about land prices two minutes ago and how it affects the size of shit people build in more urban areas. And now he's going like, imagine a world where land was at a premium in a city. Just come with me on a wild journey of fantasy and whimsy where London is a bit cramped. No matter how much urban journalist glamorize micro apartments in minimalism, most people have urban journalist. Most people.

Most people. Yeah, bring that up later. Oh, fantastic. Most people in Western democracies prefer commuting to their workplaces and shopping centers and having bigger homes with more room to accommodate children, relatives, pets and possessions. Okay. Okay. You know what we did about that one time is we built a network of trains and then we built the suburbs around the trains. It was called Metroland and we did it in the fucking 1920s. It's not difficult. It was a choice to displace that in favor of cars.

And even if there were 15 minutes walk away from a doctor who would give you cocaine, and then it was only a 10 minute walk back. It was a great era to live in Britain, I say. But also, it's like, another war again, if you're a sensible man. Also, it's like, what, it's also you say, oh, well, it'll be limited in a 15 minute city, as though London will have to shrink to the size of a 15 minutes.

We can't be polycentric. No, it's okay. What's the one neighborhood in London? We should shrink it all into like a giant pulsating flesh cube that like extends to the London Turkish now. Yeah. London is both the largest and sort of like heaviest by weight and densest Turkish sister.

Yeah. It's the biggest Turkish city outside of Istanbul and it's exactly a mile. You got it. You got it. You got a two second warning and then the entire city. Just like it's right into Harangay. It's like, but we haven't put like a feeling on this. Like one quarter scale fucking houses of parliament, just like there's like crushed a primary

school in Harringgate. It's like a perfect sort of like column because we didn't put a ceiling on this. There's no height limits, so it just would have to extend upwards. So you get like 2000 mile old tall cube of harring game. But also like let's think about other cities, right? Birmingham for example, it fucking is a 15 minute city in the center. It's just with a bunch of other stuff around it

that you could probably just build more amenities for if you wanted. So people didn't have to drive into the center. Now someone builds a fucking restaurant and a doctor's say during a surgery, a doctor's surgery in your neighborhood. That is communism. And the next thing you know, they're going to be coming around and asking which of your neighbors have been listening to the BBC.

Well, else, of course, why you can't have a walkable chemist in the suburbs also undefined. You just have to keep the suburb as they are a walkable chemist in the suburbs also undefined. You just have to keep the suburbs, but as they are, keep the chemist in the center and drive between them. As it happens, we know how much time people are willing to spend on average one-way commute, 30 minutes. This is known as, and I urge both of you to let me get through this entire paragraph because you're not going to want to.

Milo, I'm looking directly at you. You're not going to want to, but I urge you to do it. Okay, sit on your hands if gonna want to. Milo, I'm looking directly at you. You're not gonna want to, but I urge you to do it. Okay, sit on your hands if you have to. This is known as Marchetti's constant after the Italian polymath, Cesare Marchetti. According to Marchetti, the time I let a lot of decommuting is more or less invariant, but the distance depends on modes of transportation

and their speeds, a 50 minute city by car with everything in driving distance in half an hour, would therefore be much larger than a 15 minute city by car with everything and driving distance in half an hour, would therefore be much larger than a 15 minute pedestrian city. Am I allowed to talk now, sir? Yes, please. What a 15 minute driving city. Yes, that's right, a 15 minute car city.

That's what there's no traffic. That's what it's like. Compromise, it's like negotiated compromise is, okay, 15 minutes 30, 15 minutes to drive everywhere. Everywhere is Indianapolis. There is five feet of road, you merge across 186 lanes to get into the parking lot of a sparrow.

You take your most rural start tack off as a belt holster and you fucking think about killing yourself. Incredible. Great. Yeah, we should make it everywhere like this. You book a spot on the Titanic submarine expedition. You know, it is, he's basically saying that,

look, Britain needs to ditch this 15-minute city crap and we need to make the plot of falling down happened every two days. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, that's what a 15-minute car city is. It's falling down. Uh, my ears, here's another incredible set. This is, I love this article.

I has such a good time reading it. Many of those who condemn automobiles for ruining cities appear to forget that in most cities and villages, cars and trucks replace not pedestrians, but horses and horse-tron carriages. That's right, it was the golden age of the combustion engine. It's like, first of all, but second of all, right, I'm really liking the idea of getting in your sort of horse and cart for a five minute walk. Just riding a horse the way an American drives a car is a really, really funny idea to

me. It's like, leave it tied up outside, you hop back on, you're like, I don't want to walk too far on my feet hurt, so I then just ride the horse like two steps. Why? I'll take the horse and God down to the opposite Gary. It must be a thousand qubits. Also, it's like, let's just say you want to use qualities or quality adjusted life years. You could say that the kids who get kicked in the head by horses.

That's equivalent suffering to the kids who get asthma from living near urban motorways. You know, it all kind of works out the same. Yeah. Well, I mean, the thing is, if you got kicked in the head by a horse as a child, like then, you had to live in penury, whereas now you get to write columns like this. If cars and trucks are banished from the pedestrian village, how are medics and ambulances to get to victims of heart attacks?

This is my shit. This is my shit. I saw this. I saw this. Okay. I got several answers. So starting with the obvious one, there's don't. I'm anti-ambulance action now. Just leave them, you know, just die whatever. Well, that's kind of the situation we're in now, actually. Yeah. We did that with a functional road network. Second of all, second option. You just dump them into the like bucket of one of those cargo bikes.

Easy. Third option, strap into a quadcopter. Fourth option, paramedic rocket boots. This is what I'm doing, is I am being more innovative about this. And why isn't he rising to meet that chat? This is a man who can't imagine a fucking retractable ballad, a thing that we have outside the fucking studio. We can like, you just have a regular straight view pedestrianize it and you have a thing that makes it so that only stuff that needs to go in there instead of like, you know, you

and your Ford can go in there and then it just does. We have that technology. That sounds pretty fantastical. I think the 140 lane highway is more realistic. You're through European city? You're through like a British city, that's fine. I like it, yeah, it's just a man being paid to be performatively stupid about a thing.

I mean, it's like, like, you can, because it's weird because he's making all these dumb criticisms of 50 minute cities as a concept. When as a concept, it's quite hard to argue with, you could make a bunch of like more quotidian criticisms of it in action, like in the UK, most of the time, it's where councils, greenwashing, having no budget. So they just do a thing where they're like, I have now banned cars from the city center. Great. Have you added any bus routes or cycling infrastructure? Absolutely, fucking not. Okay, you've just inconvenience the people of the

town, fucking well done. Great work. But now you're like, it's the environment actually. It's like woke being shit. So fuck you. Right, like you're fine. Like then you could actually make a point about how this stuff is actually enacted in Britain, a country where no one is allowed to ever spend any money on anything.

But what you've actually done is just go like, ah, join me in the brain, Dojo. What if anything could be 15 minutes away? What if it was 15 minutes by plane? That would be quite a large city. That's right. What if you had the leesa express on your work in you? Why? You could commute to Leo. You go to your job as a pedophile. You could work at JP Morgan. That's right. I'm proud of my of my job. I just feel like JPM Morgan stands for Peter file. I'm

offering these children bond bonds. So groceries might be taken from a mock. John's been a good way. That's that's what that would be such a good episode. I've already passed a court order. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one.

I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one.

I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one.

I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. I've already talked about this one. That's the same thing. Groceries might be taken home from corner stores in small quantities every day, but if you think daily shopping is one of the pleasures of life, that's fine. But how are beds sofa tables and bookcases to be moved in and out of houses and apartments if rented retractable bullets retractable but you were trapped. They go in the fucking ground. You put them in the trash.

Everything is vanished now. Get a fucking boat. 50 minutes to the lagoon to fucking create a more equitable society, a long last. I'm not seeing a downside here. I live within a 15 minute swim of everything I need. If you have like high speed rail, you could live within a 15 minute commute of Ravenna.

I need to recommend, by the way, people listen to the episode of Tides of History about the birth of Venice. You can see the little bits I have remembered from that to to reconstruct my Venice opinion. Buddy, how's your, how's your 15 minutes in going now? Okay. One solution. People, one solution is to limit the vehicles allowed into a neighborhood to those who live and work there and necessary service vehicles. But those neighborhoods already exist. They're called gated communities. That's not what that's not what a gated community. There's a difference.

You can ride a bicycle into or through like a low traffic neighborhood. You can... Yeah. Also, it's like, are you saying that there are currently a bunch of like Amazon workers who are living in Soho who drive every day point to point to their ex-urban warehouse jobs.

Yeah, clearly. That's so cool. That's too awesome of me. He's actually accidentally proposing like radical urbanism, which is we enforce like a low traffic neighborhood with security and like gates, which is, that's what they fucking think that the IMF or Bill Gates, whatever, wants Oxford City Council to do. So yeah, let's do it. Let's go for it. They give you the vaccine at the fucking Gates, too. It's cool. Most working people in Europe and North America tend to live in

suburbs and excerpts, actually 80% of people tend to live in suburbs and excerpts. Indeed, the gentrification of cities tends to be a process of whitening, as well to do white people drive up urban property value and fashionable areas. Interesting. I wonder if that's ever happened in reverse, and sort of weirdly seems to alternate over the years. Also, it's like, if only there was another lens to view this through instead of just like, well, I should get to idle my car in your living room.

Yeah, no, absolutely not. Oh, yeah, because I should get to idle my car in your living room. Yeah, no, absolutely not. Well, yeah, because I'm going to kill myself. Car has become a symbol of the low intensity class war between the metropolitan over class and the mostly suburban multiracial working class in Western democracies. Move over Matthew Goodwin, a new class war has just dropped

that totally obusquates anything material. Yeah, I'm multiple races. Yeah, I'm multiple races. Yeah. I'm right, but I'm also from Baselden. But like, this is true in some places. Right, like, like in the US, sure, France, sometimes sure, but like in England, in London, like, is London suburbs? In Britain, the cities are much more ethnically diverse than London suburbs. It didn't bring the cities are much more

ethnically diverse than the suburb. And generally poorer. Yeah. And also like in the US, that's true for like, actually, I'm going to read this next paragraph which explains how he got this opinion. Elite professionals and managers can live without cars of their own in major cities,

relying on walking, cycling, public transport, taxis, and including Uber or Lyfts. Public transport was a bit traffic-tap. Everywhere I have that. Like, why doesn't everyone have public transport? And then he says, I know because I was one. For three decades, I did not own a car when I lived in upscale neighborhoods such as Chelsea in the Upper East Side of New York and Abbes Morgan in D.C.

Which means he just doesn't understand that cities are places of extreme inequality. No. Very rich people live beside very poor people. And 80% of the population is suburban. There are rich, the elderly edge exists. You know what else does? Is a fucking ballad. Yeah. Yeah. Defeat, who would win? Michael Lind, you ought to put him in the ground. Put him in the ground, you know. Literally, just put him in like a gariah ballad installing. ground put him in the ground you know actually just put him like a career ballad installing just stick one in the

street. That's the question is so who would win who would win the Michael and author of a highway to the danger zone justification of lethal force in the highway of death or a single ballard. Who would win? It's a good question. We can't

say. So we would depend on what what the objective was. I guess. Also, it's like, that's the point, right? Is that people who live in Long Island should be able to drive to the World Trade Center and people who live in Bishop Stortford should be able to like ramp the marble arch mound. No, people who live in Long Island should be able to fly a plane directly into the World Trade Center because it would take less than 15 minutes. That is the sin of the sins. It's like, it's a, but urban, you know what makes walking around urban areas impossible for especially for deprived people who don't have cars or can't just get ubers, right? Is it traffic? It's traffic.

It's urban motorways. There are laws in the UK named after kids who got, who were died because of poor air quality because they lived in poor quality flats right beside fucking motorways in the city. So what the fuck is Michael in talking about other than just being an idiot for Ford? I'll come to the end here. Many metropolitan progressives have sought to claim that protesters such as the Canadian truckers or the Dutch farmer citizen movement were if not a monster, the member in the Netherlands, there was like a bunch of spray will the ship

in the buildings, those guys. Yeah, yeah. The 15 minute shitties. The minute shitties. Hey, these shitties, you can't get to work on your canal boat. You put a rising ballard in the middle of the canal. But these people are not, are not genuinely working class. But the reclassification of many workers

who would have been employees in the past as contractors by businesses seeking to minimize labor cost has created a growing precarious people who are nominally self-employed, but part of the working class by any sensible definition. He does not offer a sensible definition, of course. And additionally, the thing is, the thing is that definition of working class

has to expand to include like used car dealers, bicellet landlords, guys who like traffic tiger cubs for some reason, all of that shit, you know. Well, the new car dealers, they're fancy, of course, but the used car dealers, they're kind of only handy man of choice. I remember the Canadian trucker protests, that was people with like $250,000 pickups that are the size of an adult man. Like the height of an adult man on the front. And it's the size of a white man. The height of an adult man.

I understand what you meant, but it's really funny to imagine a pickup truck. That's exactly the size of one man. This was the largest pickup available. You can ride. It's for Roger. It's me. Hi, I'm Gary, the pick up. No, I'm not.

I also remember the Canadian trucker processing. And like, didn't they mostly have a series of inscrutable beefs about how Justin Trudeau was gay and making them get vaccinated? I don't worry about it. Yeah. And then I also had to translate it into unbuff in screw to all the Canadian language regular. This is this is what this is sorry this is in support of his claim that the 20th century the 21st century the site of intense class conflict is the automobile rather than the factory. Uh, because all of those like you know, I get adult Calgarians decided to do donuts around auto off for a while.

Because they're wealthy enough to have a car And they're angry because it's a fucking petip or so our revolution God it is he wrote this up as like a verse of books kind of like paperback where it's like yeah the side of class Struggle is the car I Would do the sort of like the high-hand to think being like well. I don't know if I agree with that There's not some bad book. I just say you you know, this guy, no, absolutely not. Come on, get the fuck out of here. He's just drawing dichotomies that don't exist,

fundamentally, in a way, which implies he just doesn't really understand car ownership. But in the sense that like, there are plenty of working class people who own cars out of necessity, both because actually car ownership at the low end of the scale is pretty cheap, and it's often cheaper than taking the train in Britain, for example, for a number of reasons. And a lot of areas where a lot of working-class people live and the jobs they have to go to,

like warehouse jobs or whatever, as he points out, are poorly served by public transport. There are also a bunch of wealthier people who own cars because it's convenient to own cars, they want a nice car, it's sick, whatever. Like, you know, there is simply just like a wide Hodgepodge of different reasons why people own cars which does not divide neatly along class lines what you're talking about Well, uh, he doesn't know what he's talking about is uh, hey what if Instead of having any kind of stuff what if would it Britain went the way of the US and we just turned cord wall into a motorway entertain. Yeah, well, I mean, it would be a shit place

for an interchange, right in the corner of the country. Okay, how would this happen? It's any corner to a big round about like all of the motorways terminate in Cornwall. And then so if you wanna go anywhere into the country, you have to drive to Cornwall first. Hey, that would use up some cars. There's 12 hour sissy.

Well, if you're trying to go from Islington to Haringay, you have to drive six hours to Shrurrow, go around the 4,000 lane roundabout, and get back on the correct road. I can't believe I messed up my long-term dream. I didn't even take a ride with you. I meant to say the Midlands. Yeah, well, I was just so happy to have it, to have the whole Nexus of the system in Cornwall.

We're turning like Leicester into a big roundabout. Yeah, finally. That's probably about as central as you can get in the UK. If you think there's a more central bit of the UK, do write in. Anyway, that address, of course, is not published. Yeah, that's right. That address, of course, is the submarine. There is. There is. There is. You can look on Great Britain, where Great Britain is written on Google Maps. It's a field I have walked through. You could say it is a field in England. Anyway, and in some corner of that field.

So. That's right. So anyway, I think that's all we have time for today. I would like, we've gone along again, but I would like to thank you all for listening. Remind you, there is a Patreon with a $5 level where you can listen to a second episode every week, an episode of Britonology, an episode of the book podcast,

Alice and I do called Left On Red Now, not Ritonology anymore. That was a bad title. And may I give a hearty kind of a guessin'. Does the people of Berlin out mine show? I was also going to say there's a $10 tier where you can get seconds of those episodes more

writtenology more book talk. Yeah. And there is more your content. There is. Yeah also in opposition to those things do one or the other you can't possibly do both that would be crazy. What are we 15 minute podcasters? I'm certain we know. We've gone wrong. Yeah, I have other shows also coming up. A second to July, in Leicester. That's on the horizon.

18th of July in London. I tell them our website. We have a show. We do. We need to plug that. Yes. Yeah, the TF live show. that's T to the F in London as Brought Love by chat. Can I get the funniest? We do need to share this. That's the funniest. It's the funniest thing that ever happened.

I found this. I thought it was a joke you guys had done on purpose. So you sent me the link for the comedy club, which had, you know, published the details of the show. And then I had also published some copy just to sort of like fill the page. And as I started reading this copy, a very uncomfortable feeling came over me. Riley, do you want to, do you want to explain what they've written here? Because it really texted me while I was like cooking dinner and he was like, do you know why they got chat GPT to write the copy for the, and then I had written the description

for the event and I hadn't seen this other stuff so I just thought Raleigh was being rude about the show description that I wrote. It was not that bad. What is, what is trash future? The trash future podcast is a unique blend of humor, wit, criticism, and commentary that originated from the UK but is garnered a global audience. Yeah, what's wrong with the thing that I read? It's where tectoscopia meets British humor.

A potent concoction guaranteed to leave you in stitches while prompting reflective pods. Yeah, a lot of reflective calls. Comedy meets political and tech critique. What sets the crew apart is their ability to balance insightful analysis to unabash that tire. The podcast feels like a cozy pub chat. Only the pub is located in a cyberpunk future.

And the chat veers towards outrageous tech ideas that threaten to redefine society's norms. This is very important. This is very important. It includes such elements as why you'll love the trash-culture podcast. Number one, non-stop laughter. Non-stop. Did you stop to breathe at any point during this podcast you have failed?

You have to laugh during your reflexive pulls. Number two, expert guess. Number three. I'm patching lineman. The British edge. British edge. Guys, we've got the British edge. Gonna be bringing it back non-stop laughter with a reflective pause. The podcast, uh, uh, British origins, give it an extra edge. Expect biting wit, understated humor, and the occasional dash of British slang to keep it entertaining and

conditional dash of British. So take a break from the notifications updates and alarms. Sit back, relax, and plug into the Trash Future podcast. It's a hilarious reminder that sometimes. That's right. It's a hilarious reminder that sometimes. I have a small correction which is that didn't say Trash Future didn't get the name right at one point. It calls us trash pods.

Sure, why not? Trash Pod is a hilarious reminder that sometimes that's the motto of the show. name right at one point it calls us trash pod. Sure, why not? Trash pod is a hilarious reminder that sometimes that's the motto of the show. Well, no. Hey, you know what? Here is your reminder every week that sometimes. Yeah, it's July, it's July 26. It's a little bit alongable to say this.

There will be a link in the show notes for tickets to that. There is a discount for $10 patrons, which is on the Patreon. If you're a $10 patron, you'll be able to view the discount code. It is a, what is a discount for? It's five. You get five, the tickets are 15 pounds. If you're a $10 or more subscriber,

you get five pounds off, so that it's a 10 pounds. Perfect, great, fine. So, you know, there's, you know what to do. There are various calls to action. That's right, it's a deflationary act to be a $10 hog because you get five pounds of that. That helps the economy. So, everybody, it's beautiful for the economy.

It's free, it's fun, it's not free, but it's fun and safe. Anyway, it's not free, but it is cheap. This is your, this is just your last reminder before you sign off. That's sometimes. Sometimes. you