TRASHFUTURE - The Emperor's New Plane: Net Neutrality Minisode ft. Alex Kealy and Nikki Sage

Episode Date: November 28, 2017

MINISODE ALERT! The era of bad audio is over, but I've managed to salvage one other clip we did a while ago on net neutrality to tide you over until we release a new full episode (in this, the new good audio era) tomorrow. Alex Kealy (@alexkealy) sat down with Riley (@Raaleh), Milo (@milo_edwards), and Hussein (@HKesvani) to talk net neutrality, and the convo is so dang scintillating, Nikki (@NikkiS4) - mental health advocate and relationship advice columnist - jumped in with takes out the grill. Full chaos episode with Reel Politik arriving tomorrow! Like, subscribe, follow, and all that fun stuff xoxo Riley

This is definitely confirmed from Olly Murters. I was shopping and then all of a sudden the whole place went mad. I mean crazy people running and screaming towards exit. We found a small office to hide to which loads of staff and people were saying that the shots fired. If you were there you'd have understood. Oh he's tweeting at Piers Morgan. Oh my god. Guys the internet. Olly Murters and Piers Morgan in a pierced bat. Did Piers Morgan criticize Olly Murters? He said stop tweeting about it and nothing's happened and Olly was like you weren't there man. The thing is that is weirdly close to Donald Trump calling sexually transmitted illness his own personal Vietnam. I still can't

get over that. I still can't really say that in me. He's the president. That's one of the ten things. To be fair a lot of middle-aged American men have picked up a sexually transmitted illness in Vietnam. I just love that Olly Murters has a spoke person for this. Game of gate and how he just wouldn't understand. Have you not seen that Donald Trump has literally said that the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter is literally invisible to the naked eye? But like I can expect him to be elected. Like that but like one of those the thing I said is unpatriotic whereas like if every American is like thank you sir for saying our planes are invisible like that's like of course to be elected for saying that.

As long as the North Koreans believe that Bill Mitchell actually I heard he went to an airport. The North Koreans are very suggestible. I heard Bill Mitchell went to an airport and said actually I don't see any evidence that this airport is functioning which according to my logic means it's perfect. She's sort of like how he would say oh I went on holiday with my girlfriend when in fact you were actually in your house alone in your underwear watching reruns of the Morris show. My girlfriend lives in Spain. She goes to a different school. Also is invisible. You don't know the planes they go to another school. The planes from Canada okay. Do you think someone has sold Trump like the emperor's new planes?

There's like there's like some like cunning cunning vaudeville con man who's like yes these are the best invisible planes. Guys I can sense that we're running short on time because one of us has to skedaddle. One of us has to skedaddle but before we do I want to talk about a recent development in the United States which is that Ajit Pai the head of the FCC between likes like just just shoveling turkey and stuffing into his mouth managed to like wipe off his grease stained fingers and tweet out that net neutrality was going to be repealed in the US which is bad. Hell yeah. Heal yeah. If it gets rid of all the gamers I mean look I mean if we can use net neutrality to get rid to trebuchet all horny people online into the sea then I'm I we

can repeal the fuck out of it. The only solution to a bad guy with a trebuchet is a good guy with a trebuchet. America the country which doesn't want to regulate the gun market but really wants to go down on your ability to watch to watch it. It wants to go down on it. Yes. To find the defined noise of a man refusing to have that was the joke I was thinking about. No it's true. It's like it's this is like literally probably the most destructive thing the Trump administration has done up to this point although I'd like to point out that we're recording sort of Friday evening because the Trump administration may have done something infinitely more damaging between now and Monday. White House press statement just went out suggesting that

Donald Trump wants to build a giant war from the Sinai to the American Mexican border. What wait do you mean what white wall is that you know you know the you know that's happened in Egypt yeah he's put out a press release I'm not sure if it comes out of his clean or not because now the consensus is that everything he tweets is officially like a presidential statement so one of the last presidential releases that came out was sort of like you know we stand with the people of Egypt and it shows that we need to build you know we need to build you know a wall but he's written in such a way that he wants to build a wall from the Sinai. Yeah does he know geography. Well no we need yeah there are a fit at 10 15 mile wall at the

point the Mariana Strange will be interesting of limited value yeah I mean I think many fish I don't know it's all it's all Keynesian stimulus so many many fish would be able to find their way over it I think. I'd love to see Trump trying to convince the Egyptians to pay to wall themselves but okay but what really is sort of I think I think people should be aware of is that sort of at the moment the internet is largely regulated like a utility and as much as you have a connection to your house and then you can kind of get however much you want of whatever content you want at a pretty much like a normal speed so like the speed that you get it at and what you're able to get is agnostic of what you're getting but the new proposals suggest that sort

of your provider will be able to sell you packages that restrict you to different elements of the internet at no cost to themselves by the way because the justification given by sort of Ajit Pai and you know the reactionary Obama era by the way an Obama appointee massive chud is that you know with that the this will create more sort of more innovation in the internet which is like the right-wing canard here which is that sort of competition creates innovation whereas what's actually going to happen is that you know you'll subscribe to an internet package and then you would say oh I'm subscribing to the social media package where I get Twitter and Facebook and YouTube but I don't get browsing I can't go on other sites and so it's essentially sort of a

corporatist totalitarianism which is basically how I use the internet anyway but also it's Twitter just like I get the own the libs package but like but like if you did that for like it's just Jay Setti's Twitter page yeah you can only do it get on Twitter and you can only respond to Jay Shetty and you can only type the words Jay Shetty but yeah it's like so if you were you were energizing it with like uh real world utility network so it's like you wouldn't really there like minimum stands you wouldn't be really allowed to be like I want to save some money this month so I'm going to have water but it only comes out of my shower and there's the toilet but the downstairs sink I'm going to turn off to save money it's like we don't I think generally you don't allow packages like

that because it's not it's not very sensitive it's dumb it's dumb it's dumb thank you it's totally stupid it's grossly inconvenient you have to access pornography at all times in your downstairs toilet or indeed ups it genuinely because it genuinely is sort of a problem of natural monopolies where sort of if you have one one or two sort of internet providers it's not as much of a problem for the uk where we have more providers of more internet in more places in london anyway i'm not really familiar with the world outside of london um there'd be dragons I mean at my parents house and the internet is like super super slow and it has been for like

years but upgraded it's like because they don't want you looking at porn exactly I genuinely think that this is for a bit but that this is true and I'm thankful in Hussain's parents house in ISIS Abu Bakr al-Darford because of American imperialism that's the thing if people try to accuse me of like running a terrorist network from my house I'd be like how I can't like even get on I can't even watch like half a youtube video look I have so many videos of my first dialogue terrorist network have you guys gone through the like bin laden dvd library yeah

yes okay we we've discussed this actually at some length okay and we'll go back and listen I think I think our favorite bit of it to the ISIS techno remix in monophonic I think our favorite bit of the bin laden sort of computer files was that he watched 9 11 truth or documentary it's no no what no sorry did you talk about that for three minutes in one episode because that's a whole episode that is a whole that is like inception Christopher Nolan made a whole film about this you can do a podcast about it I mean Hussain had a viral tweet about it if you've just if you've just joined us this is the Hussain Khazvani reads his own tweets

I'm down I feel that like considering what my my track record has been pretty good over the past few months tweets that go viral while I'm you know taking my designated two-minute toilet break you know I have every right to just spend the whole episode reading all my tweets well no it's actually Hussain got two ribs removed so he could read his own tweets I can't believe that like bin laden has essentially done the sort of thing that you do when you get annoyed that you feel like an open spot has stolen your joke or something like that or like real politic retweet us friends of the show real politic

show you that like you can be one of the most notorious evil masterminds in the world but you will never be exempt from being mad online so but going back to being mad about online exactly the net neutrality thing like it's really fucking insidious it will prevent us from actually getting mad online well yeah it will mean that no one's ever mad online no one unless they buy the mad online package but it also I want to buy I want to buy the actually laughing package the the net neutrality repeal is a sort of a way in which there is genuinely a creeping oligarchy a kind of sort of an intensifying and sort of very comforting sort of disguised in the form of efficiency and serving the customer and blah blah blah but that there's this intensifying

form of social control that is you know intruding deeper and deeper within our sort of brain stems that we're sort of asked to you know it's like a frat initiation thank you sir may I have another that we're told that to think is basically a fine thing I mean it's kind of weird to think about like all these like internet chuds who went for Trump last year and how they'll find the spot haha maybe Trump was actually playing seventh dimensional chess the whole time and actually he's a lib who wants to shut down 4chan he's gonna get rid of all the gamers I mean someone had to yeah this is why this is why fun really isn't isn't 4chan kind of like an apolitical force though I feel like it just hates everyone it's a troll 4chan I think okay I think I think 4chan yeah

4chan is interesting because 4chan is basically it opposes whatever it sees as conventional and I think one sort of liberalism won the culture wars in the 90s when sort of liberal when liberal sort of tolerance and sort of giving a special thought to sort of you know groups who might be oppressed or whatever became I think at least in some or it became seen as the general consensus whether it was or not I think it's up for debate I think in general you know hate hate and sort of you know white supremacy and homophobia and whatever kind of was as strong in America in the last 20 years it has been for the entire country's history but 4chan was all about sort of being a kind of sort of I was an unthinking reler who sort of just just responds

to anyone who claims any kind of moral authority I feel 4chan to keep with the batman references that have been heavy in this episode I feel it's just that the quote some people just want to hentai is the chaotic neutral of punoponopon this thing is 4chan does just want to watch the world burn it's just that they want to watch the world burn and they're hoping that this they're hoping that the smoke coalesces into the shape of a girl with giant tits but shitting so relate to something you said about a minute ago but like something that I find was really funny and interesting about this whole thing is that like is is like concert like the con the concept of conservatism right in that it just feels like there are loads of like traditional

like whatever I never remember the small c conservatism distinction of people they're like allied and with like they assume that like free marketism is always their friend and they just like kind of unconsciously allied with that and then that has caused like that they are willing to ally with forces that are going to try are trying to like casually reshape the entire human experience yeah and if you're like a conservative there are like a few good elements of conservatism that are like bear in mind what is like good about existing and try and preserve that and then like people are like what if there was a surveillance state and it's like yeah the market made it take that there might be efficiencies that are caused from that but maybe that is like if you're a

conservative you shouldn't be in favor of that like your commitment to certain like freedom should be stronger than the the the desire to market right yeah it's like the entire sort of like Anglo-American right is sort of like that as much they claim to love personal liberty is too willing to kind of sell it out to sort of you know transnational corporate interest because yeah because they're so big they're so busy you know writing pearl clutch in columns about roads must fall and how actually like Cecil Rhodes was a complicated figure who did a lot of good stuff like the Autobahn I mean no sorry not the Autobahn the Cape the Cape to Cairo Railway the Autobahn through Zimbabwe

no like it's it's I also find that I was just I just zoned out for a second and I was just thinking about Hentai I mean it's a bit of a sexual orientation it's basically like I don't think that flows I was looking at regular porn but I saw these women would be better if they look more like balloon models yo do you need to go to dinner with friend of the show I hear a show I do need to I do need to you need to get out you need to uber for buses uber for buses my way out of down to clap them to give everyone a behind the scenes of the show and if any stalkers that's a vague enough I think that's like a vague enough location that that's not the zoom listen will be

that's a two star rating for kills for leaving early three days after the fact yeah excuse me if any time traveling listeners want to go back to Friday night please and like stalk and murder Alex on his way down to me I think leave our here out of this I think it'd be unfair to take the murdering to him I think if the zoom listener would like to use a set of a set of nautical charts and a sextant to track down Alex the thing is as Jay Shetty would say you know civilization is a very powerful ship these days but we don't have a compass as well but Einstein said it's a genuine thing from that video you must watch it is god is very you know what I wanted this episode to be focused on like the

disruption of the labor market and like the sort of the ways in which um fucking well fuck you bitch once again hentai porn come the way no I wanted this episode to be focused on like like like the disruption of labor market and then the ways in which like sort of you know like corporate talk like oligarchy largely is like destroying freedom of expression but we've just spent like 20 minutes owning Jay Shetty and you know what I feel great about it all right good night everyone all right so you

you