TRASHFUTURE - The Manned Ape of Heaven: TF Live in Melbourne feat. Naomi Higgins

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

This week’s episode is a recording of our live show at Comedy Republic in Melbourne, Australia on November 17 featuring comedian Naomi Higgins (@nomstrositi). We’ve found a particularly Australian real-estate startup that is making the world better by making it worse. You’ll love it! If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *MILO ALERT* Here are links to see Milo’s upcoming standup shows: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hi everyone. Are we well? Wonderful. We are delighted to be here. Trash Future, the podcast that you're attending live right now, in Melbourne for the first of two nights. It is, as usual, myself Riley. I am joined by Milo, now no longer in the Brendan O'Neill trance. Yeah. Hussain and Nate, who you know from the podcast, and we are very delighted to be joined by Naomi Higgins. Hello. Hi. Trash Future, no longer in Canberra. Thank goodness. We went there to see Andrew Law, and I tell you what, that was the best part about it. A very nice man who gave me a lot of wine. And look, look, as chuffed as I am from purchasing this handsome jean jacket today, I have product placement. Riley is a sponsored athlete. He walked in there and they were like,

you're so jacked, you can have this for free. I will never tell them I got it from Denim Smith on Gertrude Street. But no, no, but I will never mention that 10% off sale starting next Wednesday. So don't even try to get me to mention that. If you use code Brendan 1984. But, but we are delighted to be here in Melbourne. The last leg of the rack off 2022 Australia tour, where we have indeed racked off all over the country. We've seen, so to speak, we've seen you. We were sharing a room. We're still very much sharing rooms. I forgot what that sounded like. Anyway, look, so what we're going to do today is we have or I have found a couple of startups.

I've found another couple of fun things. But as we've been in Australia, we have well, I have read all of your local newspapers. I've read all of your letters to the editor. Oh, no. Riley is a he fees for Australian local news and I have compiled a dossier that I'm referring to as Australian excellence. I'm going to be straight with you. Quite a bit of it has been about Hooning and we learned a new word and we'll never forget it. That's right. It's actually been a really serious issue for decades. So try carefully. Long has our podcast sought to destroy a 1996 Holden Commodore and little did we know we would find like minded individuals in this vanation.

But I've tried to move us away from people being stupid in their cars for the Australian X I know for the Australian Excellent segment. So I've got a couple. I've got a couple bits of Australian excellence for us today actually. This is again truly, I think probably one of the most relatable pieces of local news I've ever come across in my entire life. A Melbourne couple has allegedly slurged more than $10 million of mistakenly paid cryptocurrency. A victimless crime on luxury houses, furniture and art before being requested to pay it back. Crypto investors are quite into saying hey.

Come on. Loose the apes. Come on. I mean give it back. Please. I know we said code was law, but sometimes, you know, everyone gets one gigantic $10 million mistaken payout that they can take back. Nothing scarier than a crypto guy asking for a favor. When we gave you the cryptocurrency, we crossed our fingers and put it behind our back. So it doesn't count. Well, this is the one more link in the blockchain. Yeah. I bought an ape with his fingers crossed behind his back.

So the couple are awaiting trial in Victoria's County Court. Free them. On theft charges that allegedly resulted from a bungled transfer from theexchangecrypto.com, which by the way, right as we speak is currently undergoing a bank run and may actually go out of business before they can actually. So that's how you get an applaud break out of Australian TF crowd. I'm not saying it will, but it's looking very dodgy. So hopefully they just eat shit before this couple can be prosecuted.

So what happened was was really funny is that one of the couple like just put some money on the crypto exchange and that said this seems stupid and then said I'm going to withdraw the money that I put in instead. This is money I could spend on ties. That's so us. I hear they've got a new stretch of asphalt put in that pops your tires. If you try to do a burnout, I'm going there. No, that so she tried to refund herself a hundred dollars and then just ten million dollars is put in her bank account. I'm kind of blown away by the idea because if it's your first time

using crypto, you might be like, I guess this is how it works. They were right. You can get rich. It's crazy. Honey millionaires. This thing creates but then instead of returning the money like a nerd, she and her partner went on a huge spending spree. So I think we can all say all power to them, free them immediately. That's right. This has been the dead set legend segment. I have one more piece of Australian excellence before we move on though. I know I did say that we weren't going to have people being stupid in their cars. That was what some people call a half truth. Yeah, this man's not technically in his car. It's true. It's being stupid near a car.

Wait, you only have two things. Oh, well, there's more things after this. Yeah, this is just one. That's the show. That's it. We're really hoping to get more out of the crypto thing. I mean, I was hoping you had like a ten minute monologue or something. This is why women should just be brave and get to investing. That is true. I mean, if you're going to get a ten million dollar bank here in your favor, sure. So a man has been filmed kicking impressively kicking a mirror off a car in a road rage incident in Melbourne, but we've seen this. So this is I mean I look your local news is great. I'm sorry. So a video recently was released that shows a man get out of his car, run up to and karate kick off a side mirror of another of

a Volkswagen van, then landed with his middle fingers up. That's what that's what we call a dudes rock. Yeah, this this guy is great. We maybe based on this alone. I'm sure there's nothing else wrong with him. I'm sure he's only done and said good things. That's right. Just, you know, cool entertaining stuff like that when he goes home sits in his room and stares at a wall. So he essentially what happened is he someone threw a coffee cup at his van and then he got out like you're making this up now. It happened in Melbourne. I like alleyway. I like the idea that it was like a China coffee cup like this other van driver was just enjoying a cappuccino like pinky finger out and then he got out of his reportedly white you.

It sounds like a slow when you say it's just like we've got to do something about these you. Well, it's much like I can't really like swear and like with British words because it always sounds insane. Oh yeah, Riley said we were out with him one night and he said he was going for a slash and we all laughed for about ten minutes. It just sounded wrong. Yeah, like for example, I was like I was such a wanker doesn't make sense like what the fuck going going for a slash in the washroom. Yeah, that's right. That's what a bleeding twat. Oh guys, I'm going to the bogs. Have you guys seen the dunnies? Riley is actually so Canadian. The jacket not was standing that he can't say bathroom or toilets.

He can only say washroom. Yeah, that's right. Anything else sticks in my throat and won't come out. You've bought tickets to the roast of Riley Quinn. I don't know. So he went. He went around the car to do the same thing to the other mirror, but I love this. This man will not quit while he's ahead. He's like fucking nailed the first one. Let's do the other things can only get better. This guy's not going to be able to turn into either lane. We're upon as soon as he was clear of the car before he could perform the second karate kick maneuver. The van went back into traffic and left. Unfortunately, yeah, probably to go deliver an indictment to those crypto people. Anyway, anyway, look, this reminds me of a guy that I knew,

and I'm not going to say his name, but his name is really funny, but I can't say it. But it's like two first names. Just think of like the stupidest name you can. And he was in the news. This is like a while ago. You probably saw it because someone took a photo, I think from like a bridge over the freeway, which is that's where the cars go really fast. And he'd put his car in cruise control and then he had both of his feet out the window. Just like relax like this, just barefoot. And he got in trouble. Never post feet for free. That's the moral of that story. And then Elon Musk saw that video and was like, what if we build a company around this guy? Let's enable him to do that more. I'm liking the idea of those because we've driven a lot

through Australia now. All the signs you get by the side of the road that's like a little kangaroo on a yellow sign like warning you about stuff. They should have a sign that's just a guy karate kicking a van. This is a high karate kick area. Keep your wits about warning dead set legends. I have a third. Well, this is Australian not excellence, unfortunately. What? Oh, boo. Hang on a second. Someone in this country did something bad. This is the compliment sandwich. Yeah. I'm afraid that Australia is well. You know what we're going to do? We're going to do this as a mini startup segment because I have learned today. Maybe you've seen this as well about a startup called snug, which I fucking hate.

Yes, I think I think that's this machine kills his Jathan Sudowski clapping in the background. One of their seed investors. Oh, he loves them. So we're going to start the startup segment with a little mini startup segment. It's called snug. And I'm not going to tell you what it does, but I would like you to tell me what do you think they do starting from Nate going back to Milo? Do they find some way to have like a blanket replacement service that you get a new blanket every day so you never have to wash your bed linens? No, that would be beneficial to someone. I was thinking inefficient burns a lot of fossil fuels somehow. That's what I came up with. Ultimate podcast service. Who's saying it's a body pillow service. The body pillow is made of memory

foam and for an extra of $50 you can get the person you can get a custom face put on the body pillow. Anyone you want, like any anime. I would encourage you to go further by not doing it on the tube. Could you keep this kind of weird behavior within the house? I do appreciate that we have a crowd of listeners to the show because Milo can pull up and each British politician. No one should care about in this room. You should think of yourself as blessed to not have to care about Kira Starmor and yet you still get left with going exchange program. I have to know this much about Bob Kassar because you have to know this much about Kier Starmor. Why do I know that Bill Shorten wants to ban the weekend? Why do I know what does he have against Canadian rap?

Just blame Andrew Law. Naomi, it's called snug. I'm going to go in another direction. What if it's like if someone's standing too close to you? You know, you've got to have a man like breathing down your neck for no reason, like in a line. I said I'm sorry, we moved the channel. But you call them up and they say Milo stop. They get a bigger man to stand behind him as close. And then he's stuck in the line. He can't go back. He can't go forward. And then I guess hopefully he kills himself. I don't know. So what you're essentially suggesting is like the Australian biosecurity approach to like fixing guys standing behind you in line because they just get a bigger

guy to stand behind him like what you guys do with the cane toads. I will. I will say I watch Riley's eyes light up when you described a big guy delivery service. Australian women need Patrick Wyman. We need to release Patrick Wyman's into the Australian wilderness. Oh, if there was more than one Milo snug. Is it is it because as a format of start up we sometimes get on the show where it's not really clear what it does, but the description is really fun and it's fun trying to interpret the sort of agnostic truth of the description to try and work out what it does. So is it called snug and then like the description is just like it's fucking Higger, mate. Unfortunately, that was the Danish word, not a slur, I promise.

So I'm sorry to tell you that snug helps renters shine and be the best you and at snug our mission is to make renting easier. Not cheaper. Definitely not cheaper by privatizing. That's all we need. Do you get to cuddle your landlord not not literally okay. Send him like hug emojis. Well, so he sends you hug emojis. So well, you're sort of getting kind of closer conceptually to what it offers. Instead of your landlord picking up your rent, it's because it's a big guy and if you do it, then the big guy gives you a hug. You guys are really stuck on the big guy. It's time to lower costs not rent. Rent is not the cost we're lowering

and make the most of technology to empower both renters and landlords. Wait, what other costs? You know the ones that in the whole course of let's say a year of renting count as a rounding error like the cost of the emotional labor. That adds up paypal me. So well, they're inviting you to join the movement towards better renting, which again is not a tenants union. It is a tech company a service you pay for in the movement. Yeah, so I have Australian. It's very Australian. I'm afraid but we have pretty good renting laws here. Oh, well, that might be a change. When has an Australian backed down from its challenge? Let's just say this company looked at those renting laws and then

looked back to the proud Australian tradition of outlaws like Ned Kelly and thought what if we could be next? So here are their values. Authentic. We believe people are genuine and good. Yeah, well, that's fucking wrong about that. Bald. We're here to drive. We're here to drive positive change towards the future of renting, which again will still be renting. Anyway, you're listening to the show Good Future. So we presume that that's going to be fine. They're also want to be fresh and their main way that they're fresh is that they have a watermelon color palette. Oh, you know very nice. I mean, Instagram and these people could never be bad. No, but they're also innovative.

We saw problems with creative new solutions centered around the customer experience, which is never evil because the thing is those solutions are never themselves problems and that's a key thing to remember about these companies. They never wildly create problems in the search for a solution to a problem that doesn't exist and transparent. We believe in transparent rental relationships and that they result in better outcomes for all parties. Remember that last one because it will be important later. I love a transparent result rental relationship where it's like you pay money me pretty transparent. Wait, transparency and renting. So is it just like eBay, but they encourage you to bid up not. Oh, wait, you live in the David Blaine cube.

Is it about my cube? No, not eBay. E Harmony. Oh, wait, no, no. It's a dating service for landlords. You match up like dating service for landlords. Yeah, you have a what they call a proprietary snugg score with each flat. Oh, yo, my snugg score is go to it. It's gonna be like that dating app for like right wing guys. There's like three girls on it and like 10 million conservative men in America. I was like, where are the tricks? Where are the flats? The snugg is now off Berlin. Dying snugg score is ausgedripped mit ansalza. So basically that was disgusting. This is what we've been entertaining ourselves on long car journeys by saying German sentences

that have a bit of English in them. That's how you become a podcaster. No, so renters apply for properties through snugg by filling in a profile and then that create and you do that with like what's your perfect Sunday paying paying my rent. I love paying my rent. That matches up with what I want. I have a I actually have a tenant kink where I love paying rent never having a party or complaining about the boiler. I hate having my own stuff on the walls. I love it when the temperature inside is the same as outside. You know it's like this might just be me but all I love is when the door doesn't close quite properly. That's just a me thing. I just want billions of roommates in spore form.

One of snugg's key selling points. This is from the Guardian is the snugg match score, which rates a renters compatibility with a property as a value out of a hundred. Again, as though it's like yeah, my I'm a hundred for more or less every property because I need shelter to live. Snugg promotes their match score as helping renters and owners quote unquote find the best fit for a rental property such as basically saying you list your preferences. They have their preferences but also like if you say oh I don't like partying and the landlord is like no parties that improves your score. So that I was like no parties only no losers don't want them blaming up the building. I need someone with a good credit score and also no fucking virgins.

Okay, let's just get that straight. Snuggs FAQ says the match score is based on property owner preferences property data rental application attributes rental profile completion in market conditions. However, an investigation by Guardian Australia found there is an interesting way to directly affect your snugg score. Uh oh. Remember Naomi about how you said that rental protections in Australia are pretty good? Yeah. You remember how one of those rental protections is that you basically can't create bidding wars for flats? Yeah. No you can't. I can see some of you beginning to get how this works which is that if you offer more then your snugg score goes up. What the fuck? I'm beginning to doubt these people's intentions. I think maybe

they might be using technology. I've never seen this before an example of a technology company quote unquote using the fact that it's a technology company quote unquote instead of say a third party real estate brokerage to circumvent a law before that would be insane. I mean it will never not be fun. Just imagine this a white German man is dressed like Kanye West. That's how you have to imagine the guy saying that who like works in ensuring other insurance companies but talks like that. Yeah so this is, my jar hit the floor when I saw that and I said it must be in. We must include snuggs. Riley has like loony tunes reactions to startups. Awuga he said. We had to wind his eyes back into his head with a pencil. It was tough.

So I have, oh please. I don't think anyone's going to use this app. No? Well what if landlords make you? That's the problem. Oh my god. I forgot they're the ones with the houses. Yeah what you're actually watching is we're doing some shutter island shit on Naomi. You were the landlord the whole time. Oh my god that would be a really happy ending. Yes that's right. As your payment for coming on today we've given you several walk-ups in Fitzroy. You guys did well off. This is the next startup. Sorry before we, should we say, I feel like you should be honest about what happened to you guys today. Oh right. Yeah Milo and I left. We got attacked by a little German boy. And he made us learn a number of phrases.

Some of them seeming kind of offensive. We were at a drink at Fitzroy's Builder's Arms because we flew across the world to go to a place called the Builder's Arms. And then we were like okay well time to go to the venue for soundcheck and then left the Builder's Arms and started walking and got to queue before we realized we were both following each other. How the fuck did you get to queue? We wanted to meet the Horrissa Hoshiris in their natural environment. Was it queue or was just on the way to queue? It was a long one. It was near queue. It was like Abbotsford. It was about an hour walk. Sounds like the fucking bush. I love the fury that this is. This is the most we've lost a crowd so far. You can see the fucking

city man. You're in the other direction. You're like trees that must be the CBD. Where's the THC area of Melbourne? Yeah well basically a Seinfeld plot line happened where we both believed we were following the other one. And also about 25% of the way in I said to Riley do you know the way because I'm following you and he said yes because he thought I'd said something else. And this was really the root of our problems. It's that British politeness that'll fucking kill you. We walked for about an hour basically. But we're here now. You walked out of this. You walked further from the city. You're so stupid. But what a great cab ride back in we had. Maybe you guys just really enjoyed the small towns that we stopped in on the way from

Canberra to here. Oh absolutely. You were like you wanted more of that. Five minutes into our cab ride our cab driver opened a sentence with not to get into conspiracy theories but and I'm just like clear my diary. I am listening. Sadly just thought they're all family kill princess Diana. It was quite entry level. Wow that one's true. That's all yeah. It seemed that Riley did like Riley was too distracted by his new jacket to like look in the look at the map. Where did you get that again. This good luck finding it. I mean look I went all the way out to queue. This was of course break a sweat due to the excellent breathability. This was of course preceded by the radio replaying the sexting scene from the show The Crown between

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Paul's and the taxi driver turned it off and just looked around at us mournfully and Riley said thank you. I'm sorry. I don't everyone gets down to me about that. That's like the one good thing Charles has done is like tell a girl that he wishes he was her tampon like that's nice. Yeah. That's actually really sweet. If when you think about it King Charles wants to end period poverty and he's prepared to stand on the front line of that fine. I have I have one more start up moving swiftly on from our difficult day. It's just the wine so good. So the start up is called Arkup and it was actually shared with me on on Twitter. Share with me on Twitter Arkup ARK UP Ark up. It's like rack off but different.

You better Ark up buddy Ark up. Sorry. It just sounded stupid. Well, I mean York shaman referring to his mug Ark up. Well, well now me surely if it couldn't be stupid that would be insane. Oh yeah. No surprise at the uptake for my York shaman character in this room but please stay here that's crossed over this. This segment is comprised of materials. I have found out about this thing screenshots of an investor presentation that was shared with me and also material they sent. So Ark up starting from Nate again. I'm intrigued by this idea of Santa telling somebody to Ark up like you need to build Noah's Ark for yourself. So I feel like this is a service that helps you build some kind of survivable watercraft for the apocalypse.

You are 60% of the way there. See I got a good sign. I was just going doing something really left to field and stupid but I've learned to game this Canadian system. Yeah, I'm assuming like so everyone sort of accepted that climate change is going to happen and that all the cities are going to get flooded. So they've like what they've done is they're like flat pack ox. You build your own. Yeah, you build your own Ark 70% of the way there. I should I should do business. I should get to business by the end of the line. We're going to be there. Naomi. Okay. It's like a ride share but for boats when everything's underwater.

50% of the way there. I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. Have they have they finally managed to turn the Epstein Island into an atoll? 95% of the way. The world's largest floating mosque. We're going to do it. So Ark up 75 has pioneered a new blue world of luxury and off-grid living. Our flagship product invites you to an avant-garde life on water with the next generation of sophistication and innovation polycules and international waters 99% of there's a guy who probably be really into that right now. I didn't know where he is

somewhere in the partners. I don't think he has enough money anymore. So it's a luxury property floating 20 feet above the water. How do how can you float 20 feet? But is it a helicopter? It's a hovercraft. I'm glad you asked Milo. No, it is a it is essentially a rectangular a large rectangular barge that costs millions and millions of dollars that stands on four 40 foot hydraulic spuds that then retract when you're ready to move somewhere else on your livable yacht. Excuse me, essentially. It is essentially, as we say, it's this barge like all that like luxury eco design that you see in all of like the Bitcoin prepper communities in El Salvador and stuff where it's very futuristic looking.

One does exist and also it is somehow, as we've been alluding to with the various guesses, climate change proof. Rising tide lifts all cubes. They say the house isn't only designed to be environmentally conscious being efficient in off-grid as it is, which again, I'm sure works. Where's the pool go? Who knows? But is also built to withstand climate change driven extreme weather events such as hurricane and flooding. Yeah, I love to live on a big thing that's on four spindly legs, 20 feet above the sea. And I'm like, no hurricane can touch me now. I'm glad I'm not in a regular brick house. For example, has a hurricane ever carried debris? No, never. That has never happened.

And so they say it's going to save the world from climate change as well. You might be asking, how's it going to do that? And this is an interview with the CEO from the company with CEO magazine from a couple of years ago. I love CEO magazine. Oh, yeah. 10 ways to hate your wife. Inside, do you speak to your children through a lawyer? Here are different letters you could send them. So the company's is from CEO magazine. The company's flagship livable yacht series, the arc up 40 arc up 75 has been the subject of news stories, Airbnb stays by luxury influencers, extravagant parties, and so on. They should check out the snug score.

Well, you're looking to jazz up your garden. Consider an original Dean Coons. Well, this might suggest arc up is targeted a more exclusive clientele. This CEO, the French CEO likened his company's celebrated prototypes to the first Tesla, which again is a comparison. I'm sure a lot of people will be making now given what a wing not the motherfucker in charge proved to be. And how does he like blowing up in the water? What do I do? Well, it's blowing up his fire waters right there. It's perfectly solving its own problem, isn't it? Just so long as the hope that lithium does not react with water. I've not looked into this. I'm from Quebec for some reason. I got my seed capital from maple syrup smuggling.

In the beginning, said the CEO, Tesla was a luxury product only the rich could afford. And how things have changed. But now it's killing middle class people. But its new range is a lot more accessible now. In the same way, arc up will become a responsibly green alternative to conventional housing is at this point that I must remind you that it is a $10 million yacht. Sorry, and there's only one. There is currently one. Yes, that exists. Yes, there's like they'll be everywhere. This has been years. There's one. It's great for me commute to the bottom of the Mariana's trench. It was a real pain in the arse in Basildon. Who lives in the one because I have some questions

about what for that fish. I feel like I feel like oh Hussein, I know who lives in the one and I have some stuff about him. Defoe and Robert Pattinson. Funnily enough at a crazy bird. Funnily enough funnily enough. The answer is actually funnier than that. But is it hotter? How is there more come? I mean, dependent depending on what your proclivities are. Maybe up. We don't people are entitled to their nautical cute proclivities. Thank you. It's so easy to get an applause break out of you people. You just have to say Bob Catter cheap heat. But you know, I guess the job done. We don't pretend to be the only solution to rising sea levels, which good, I guess, but we feel we can be part of that solution. Yeah, there's also

the sea pod. That went great for those of you who don't know the sea pod we covered a couple months ago. It is an air pod that you're a fair weather fan. Yes, it's an air pod that floats on several automatically AI based correcting like pontoons. They're like it'll never fall over because of the AI. And then we were like, what did it do? Well, we said this is going to fall over immediately and then it was released in Panama and then it fell over immediately. And we still had the same question. Where does the poo go? And no one answered it. No one has answered where the poo goes. They should have gotten Terrence Howard to design it. He would have figured it out. We're building foundations for the next generation to have a more sustainable resilient world such

as blue eco resorts, tourism, having to reinvent itself to tackle the impacts of rising sea level and climate change. So in this example, what you would do is you would get on a plane and fly to one of these things is and then have a low carbon vacation. Yeah, we're sailing the cube to where the Maldives used to be and also blue communities suggesting making entire houses entire group. That one's a slow burger, but you're going to get it. Blue communities suggesting that you can create organizations in towns and cities out of this. Remember that water is going to come up later water. They say is the next frontier for city expansion. I add I wonder why

guy guy in Venice in the thirteen hundreds. Even how can it to go wrong? It will certainly never smell of a sheet all of the time. They will never sell tat here by adding water to the available development space. We can increase density and improve flexibility. So it's basically a yinbi, but for like what if we yinbi climate change and there's one and it costs ten million dollars. Well now we might ask who bought it who bought the one. Okay, all right. According to the Miami Herald, the current owner of Arkup one is British born businessman now living in Miami. Jonathan Brown, who bought the floating mansion

what in twenty twenty one via a fish processing business. Yeah, I really hope it's the brexit eel guy. Did that news make it that there was a guy in Britain who was a millionaire from eel farming who was a huge supporter and donor to like brexit promotion and then brexit happened and he immediately went bankrupt. Get in the ocean fucking France now bosses. So basically what and the reason that it was in the news quite a bit is that it has become the subject of a massive property tax like a landmark property tax dispute case in Miami. I love the idea that he sort of envisioned himself as like a Poseidon figure and he just wants to like live he wants to live in the sea. He wants to control the fish. It's wasn't enough to kill like kill

them or he now wants to sort of be their overlord. It's me wife threw me out so I said to try this going nowhere Sandra. I'm the lord of the seas. This is answers to me love. So attorneys at the attorneys for have said I studied this a deep. Have assured an L. A. P. In the shoulders and it's fine. That's fine. I'm in the wrong country for that attorneys have a show in the right country would be his attorneys have assured the city of Miami quote our client is definitely not attempting to skirt the laws of property taxation by living on a boat and that's the sort of thing you say when you're definitely not attempting to skirt the laws of property taxation by living on a boat because otherwise why would you say that so our client would like to make it clear that he has

never eaten another man. So I would like to make it clear that the Trident shaped wounds in the man found on Miami Beach are not but coincidental. Many people own Trident. It's a growth market. So while shopping for a boat he said that rather than buy a gas guzzling yacht he would purchase the Arkup number one. Yeah I was getting fucking punished for it. What the fuck yeah. So basically in the course of this dispute for government officials were taken on a two hour pleasure cruise aboard Arkup number one which they said quote undisputably proves to our satisfaction that this vessel is more than capable of transportation and navigation on water and is therefore a boat and not subject to property tax what what sort of

like come from art did he get on them during this like they all they all walked off the boat looking visibly changed like they've seen the videotape from the ring wait so they said it's capable of moving yeah if your house can move you don't have to pay property taxes in Miami um so uh nevertheless it has been the subject of an ongoing court battle to not pay property tax okay um basically just trying to say look so this is not prim the Miami's basically saying this is not primarily for removing over water just because it can and so on and so on they're still fighting and it concludes with the line once again to be clear this is not a case about our client attempting to find a loophole in tax law so the future of human habitation on water

there is one existing copy and it's owned by the fish geezer and he is trying to avoid paying property taxes in Miami no he's not okay definitively not never mind scratch that allegedly yeah you're getting a subpoena gary fish just getting stabbed by a trident through the sky all the way down in australia that's right one of the miami city officials who went on the boat was quoted as saying all shall soon see the glory of the trident shall conquer all doubters oh damn those are those signs we saw on the road on the highway there's just a very very different approach to highway safety in this country and we love it there's like do not trust your tired self you can't really say that to a british person they'll just start punching the sign when you're going you don't

need eyes to see so terracotta new south wales the other be fine it's true it was the other the other thing about this is that this solution or at least part of the solution to climate change which seems to exist mostly as a place that a rich fish guy will live while his actual house is being built and is used to skirt not used to skirt tax laws is that also it's the subject of a rich guy side yard property dispute when your yard is the sea yeah so i mean dang comes to sunk so the um the the boat has now docked outside uh like south beach where like usually boats don't dock but because it doesn't need to dock it just basically drops its feet wherever it wants to what has happened massive

wind chimes that's something you'll find to stand like when you listen to an upper episode that's coming out i think it's coming out soon at some point yeah at some point you don't get called back to something they haven't heard yeah that's the tf promise so when you just hear it jazz when you do hear it dm me tell me it was a good joke thank you that's right i appreciate wait i don't understand is it above the sea or is it in the sea oh it floats on the sea then when it wants to stop it extends 40 foot spindly legs down that crunch into the ocean floor and kill anything there and then it goes up above the water yes on the legs yes like a little oil rig so basically like that thing in wild wild west

weirdly that is in the advertising copy for the so what you're saying is that people paid millions of dollars assholes let's be clear for houses in south beach and they wanted an ocean side view and that view is now being spoiled by fish geyser from england who has parked a cube in the middle of their view let me read to you something from the miami herald comment section is there someone insinuating someone's wife as a prostitute that's a really niche plymouth reference any plymouth heads in so they're always a brother anyone all guile pilled so he this is talking of a neighbor i don't believe anyone laughed at that talking of a neighbor talking of a neighbor he said he and his wife used to enjoy their outdoor space facing government cut which must be like a beach or whatever

watching the cruise ships and enjoying the view but that view has now been blocked by the new dock location of the ark of vessel i love the houseboat but it does not belong here i mean that's the thing like i welcome the cube i would encourage it to go further by moving to a more suitable docking location i will i will say though that there is something i can understand in the british psyche that he sees a lot of and let's be honest annoying americans enjoying their lives and he has a big shipping container cube house on legs he sails over gets in their view and says no it's shit it's supposed to be shit you know i'm not going to fuck off i'm sorry he's wearing like union jack swimming shorts no shirt sunburn to the point of death huge yeah huge back piece tattoo that says

mill wall till i die i do i do like the idea that like not only is he ruined all the views of you know of the kind of people living in like just by the beach but also like if they try to challenge him he can just be like how can i move my house yeah like he can do he can just sort of refuse to sort of acknowledge and accept what he's actually done and what this house has sent you it i can't i can't tell it where to dock but if the property tax inspectors hear you then you could have to pay a small amount of money so it's about a delicate balancing act so do they get to like do they get a view of like the inside of his kind of weird cube like do they like what him do yoga or no no no they just get around with like in his box of shorts you know a lot about this

guy yeah i'm very invested in what he does in his life stream you see the only difference between him and hussain's neighbors in dartford is this guy has a cube that floats on the ocean otherwise it's the same guy yeah yeah after a while it becomes endearing yeah try to try to go into amulet drowns what you can get for like a swim fucking pussy uh no they don't see into the into the cube uh they see the back of the cube which is just a big white wall great um can't the cube just go higher because then their view wouldn't be blocked just go right up in the sky i've solved this problem it's ten million dollars already what how much more would it cost another ten maybe big fans on it you know just float all right so it's just a plane although this is this this

this maybe i'm so sorry this does make me think of so as anybody in the audience familiar with the concept of a spite wall only a strange time for an applause break only the british psyche could come up with the idea of i am building an addition to my property that is entirely useless because i hate you and i wish to interfere with your enjoyment through those of you don't know a spite wall is if you own a property and you have a neighbor and you fucking hate your neighbor you will build a pointless wall to like block all of their light and just make their life terrible and it's legal to do it's very british the history of this may be different in northern island so no no

that shouldn't be this spicy this many miles away so that's only part of it because our cup is partnering with a club called house um house yeah it's a man who's just been hit on the head with a hammer saying the word house so uh they've said basically um what if we created a kind of soho house but for the world imagined in the film water world oh my god specifically a soho house for surviving the apocalypse with your most annoying friends and also what if it was started by a man named sam peirovi who if you looked at his linkedin you'll see that he worked on the mortgage back securities trading team at bare sterns from 2004 to 2007 something which we can all agree portends

well was that a good time i mean that was a good time as he left at the right moment you could don't ask about 2008 and subsequently best turns went out on a high right top of the market they were like let's close down yeah so this it's called the lifestyle club for miami's disruptors oh oh you're gonna grow now wait till i say the next thing i'm about to say nft-based memberships from thirty thousand dollars an arc but they just go apes we're definitely going to save the ape population that's for sure sorry i i this you guys all clearly know you're a bunch of nerds sorry um nft-based membership

yeah you buy an nft and that's your membership card okay thirty thousand dollars or maybe you sell it to someone else for more yeah no that's what i figured but i was like that doesn't make any sense oh that's stupid yeah it's because you're a normal person with a normal brain yeah and so you look at stuff like this and go that's stupid but these people have millions of dollars don't condescend to me we're building a membership club that breaks them all a club for the world's disruptors innovators and those who care about moving the world forward in a nutshell we're creating a community of good i'd like that they put it in a nutshell because i was confused a community of good work by day and good people by night meet relax or entertain the day is more

dangerous the people are real tempered meet relax or entertain from a floating villa the world's first floating members club party work and play aboard a floating cluster of solar powered luxury villas drop in for yoga pop champagne at sunset trade stocks with your toes in the water this sounds like it sucks frequently asked questions no it's nothing like the lord of the flies at all the next heading is by the way if you catch the pun then congratulations you're ready for a podcast of your own wine down so they got my mom to write a copy for everyone complains yeah meet up or recharge with first class amenities including gourmet food and beverage service who serves it if this is

supposed to be something that survives a climate change apocalypse oh why the slaves of course no sorry hey what everyone can survive the climate apocalypse you see ten million dollars i appreciate ourselves in the community you just have to get a crypto guy to make a mistake and then you're sorted you know it helped one australian family it could help you too we have to join the right polycule at the right time tap into what excites you from exclusive dj sets see i'm sure they're fucking great just just funky house the whole time awful not not techno to be found that's my own personal bugbear to bespoke fitness classes and curated keynotes which i'm sure also don't suck i feel like you don't want to be expending extra calories in the climate apocalypse you know like

going to yoga or doing like a spin class it's like i think you need all of the gruel calories calories you can keep in your body oh everyone mocked gary fishman until the apocalypse happened now you all need fish and and the meat from my drowned horse you'll come swimming back to gary's cube and and carry the keynotes to culinary adventures you'll always find something scintillating happening at arc house more than just a meeting of the mines such as the ballot where we decide who to kill and eat next more than just a meeting of the mines arc house is a meeting of the mines bodies and spirits oh fuck me this is trending in a polycule correction direction isn't it yeah

yeah the spirits of all like the dead like oh fuck oh sorry i'm so annoyed by the spirits of polycules gone oh yeah it would be like that polycule with i don't know if you saw the tumblr post from that girl oh god yeah what she's talking about uh the atm my my type of polycule i've learned is not like an uh like post trad thing it's like can best be described as an imperial chinese harem where everyone has a ranking and everyone knows their ranking and there's like vicious battles for the top spots and there's also a regionally administered set of exams i hate i hate it when i hate it when i lose the mandate of heaven thank you okay this is this is a this is a note to future nate you can probably call this one the mandate of heaven so you might be asking

wait a minute this is just like one guy's house how does this design at least in theory work as a members club i'm so glad i asked to and this is again from marketing copy that i have that for some reason was just freely shared they say the words to form the club for archa vessels connect and deploy their their tractable spuds at once anchoring and elevating the club into a solid platform hovering a few feet above the water which we call voltron for assholes ruining pit bull's view hang on so shipping container yeah but four of them yeah but there's only one in existence so they're already kind of behind the curve on this one there's only one that is documented as owned by someone i don't know if any others have been so they're just rogue cubes floating the waves

hoovering up the fish cubes there is a very celeste of cubes the result is a diamond shaped platform comprised of wraparound decks that frame a filtered bay water pool sorry that's a square yeah okay yeah a diamond shaped platform no wait till you see the people who are on it i think i think it's only a diamond shaped platform if you look at it from a corner otherwise yes it's a normal square it is it is a square the poor man's shape not like a diamond um they're there already get on it if it's some kind of a rhomboid in our second expansion around year five ark house will create the first for has business model did the quailudes just hit what's going on now for has spelled fh aas stands for something oh god i want to start with milo and go to nate

and see if you're going to get it just okay i hook your mind and slip into it my best what was it what was it what was it again what fh no but what what was the context of that our house will create the first for has business model solution that will empower hospitality owners worldwide fine okay financialized housing for arseholes against safety regulations i think that's why they pay me the medium box yeah uh fucking help so was that pretty good was that was that right that was actually yes that's correct yeah

it was a cry for help in the email they sent yeah fh what'll be what'll be happening during climate change actually so it's kind of a political joke fh aas for has future housing i remember a as future housing i'll fuck remember oh fuck it's ah shit not anymore not again aas is as a service oh i know it i was and i don't know if i'm knowing it from before i absolutely got it immediately and that's why you saw my soul leave my body floating housing as a service floating hospitality as a service very close it's a solution that will empower hospitality owners worldwide to expand onto water as well again the thing left unsaid is why do they need to why no one's tried this it's the titanic they say in the next 10 to 15 years we will see an

enormous expansion of society onto water so when they're talking about disruption and so just a last couple of things uh i know i'm sorry it's the last couple of things they say the u.s coast guard governs all bodies of water in the u.s once our house establishes and improves the miami operations with the coast guard we can partner with them to deploy clubs nationwide so we only answer to the coast guard not your terrestrial police they're going to make pitbull into like a sea lord so god cannot judge us only ashton kutcher from the film the guardian this is this is the last thing i'll say though because uh you might think oh this all seems very frivolous and stupid and insulting to the severity of climate change but we are

offering memberships with every jacket and we just have to sell one million memberships to build the other three are you you might be saying it's offensive to offer this as a solution to climate change but what would you say to our 50 strong australian ski gadgets ski display team who are here to explain the project a little better so they say as sea levels rise and water based cities like miami face the inevitable reality of disappearing coastlines arkhouse looks to help solve the problem through a partnership with the seaworthy collective this partnership is part of ark houses and i'm quoting here again something they shared freely i don't know why party on top research on the bottom campaign so basically the sea where

every collective is the polycule well it's it's more of a mullet right i'm more of it i'm more of a research bottom just getting railed while really reading jay store a campaign a campaign that aims to equip ark house vessels with innovative startup style solutions such as for example drones that will run underwater operations like mangrove restoration and cleanup while the party goes on up top oh yeah sure so what do we think about the research mullet that's right anyway look it's good it's effective altruism yeah that's right comedy republic you have been fantastic to talk to today thank you very much for coming out on whatever day this is