TRASHFUTURE - The Out-of-Service Panopticon feat. Mattie Lubchansky

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

This week, we’re back with friend of the show and comic artist Mattie Lubchansky (@lubchansky) to discuss recent developments in New York related to the surveillance state being onerous and also non-functional in any advertised way (but still extremely harmful). We also talk about the antipolitics of the Rwanda deportation camps plan. It’s a whole lot to take in! Check out Mattie’s Patreon here, where you can get access to all of their art: https://www.patreon.com/Lubchansky If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *SEE TRASHFUTURE LIVE ON 4/20* We're doing a make-up live show on 20 April in London now that we've recovered from covid (this time). Get tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/trashfuture-live-podcast-tickets-303412654417 *MILO ALERT* Milo has shows coming up in London and Brighton. Learn more here! https://miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello and welcome back again to this episode of TF. It's the fray one! Damn it! I thought that if Alice wasn't here, you wouldn't like, you know. I'm gonna can't be beaten that easily Riley, you know? I had you not doing it for like about a month. By not saying what kind of episode it was and now I'm on to you. Yeah.

Well, this is just like, OK, so what happens? I had a high walled castle, right? Maybe I don't know. I'm just going to pick a random place. Bailey. Well, yeah, maybe I'll pick a random place. Like I don't know. Willakia, for example, or like the Plains of Hungary, right?

A high walled castle, fortifications made of stone designed to keep out a primarily, you know, horse riding sort of enemy. I don't really know if I mag your podcast. I'm mad at you, Milo. You have rolled up, you know, with a bombard. And so now, you know, in order to stop my lands from falling to, you know, the Ottomans, you know, I'm going to need to design some kind of a kind of star fort structure that's going to be, you know, more sloping walls

that will keep you from doing that thing that really annoys me every week. Say, you probably got eebies. That would stand a cavalry attack. But if someone wants to come at you with a large siege weapon, not a cannon or even or even a large barring ram, he's really now good. And with the door to door, Hungarian Baszler, door to door, dodgy castle repair, man. My mood has been repaired and servitory, but on the back of my castle. Yeah, by some guys who came to my door for a you can't can't have that.

Can't have that, mate. It's it's can't have a keep that close to the wall. It's not in planning. It's not Rex. It is myself, Milo and Hussain, and we are joined. Delighted to be joined by, I believe, a third or fourth time returning guest. It is Matty only in New York, Liv Chansky. Matty, how's it going?

I'm pretty good. I'm just thinking about now a pebble dash keep and smiling politely to myself. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Well, it's interesting is that Barrett Barrett military engineers actually made many thousands of star forts and created a whole generation of Yorkists. Yeah, Barrett homes actually make the 50 count as well. It's the same guys, different division.

Our military histories are getting you're getting all all screwed up here. But we've got a few things for you today. We're going to talk a little bit about. Yeah, they're all bad. They're all just like bad stuff. They just want to give their heads up. But it's like, yeah, I don't know if it's good. All of it is just bad, bad stuff.

I thought I was coming on to talk about good stuff. Yeah, trash. Future trash. Future like medieval conservatism future of the show about how things are good. And we're going to talk about some good stuff. I thought I was just going to listen to an hour of Milo doing siege craft bears. That's what it's an ironic name. It's a show about good things from the past, like the pebble dash medieval castle

or like, you know, like some kind of Genoese military engineer showing up in Istanbul, being like, I could build you a bombard for less than half of what you get it down the shop. That's right. Yeah, 20 percent off of his cash in aint. So we've got we got a lot. But I think I want to talk about sort of right off the off the gate is recent events in in New York.

Matty, this is something we've been talking about a bit, but it appears as though deciding to have like, I know, a kind of sworn brotherhood of Staten Island guys with enough, I'd say, I don't know, enough small arms to, you know, sustain the Donbass for two months was not enough to stop a recent mass shooting on the New York on the New York subway. Can you talk about that a little bit? Yeah, I mean, I don't think that's fair because they're also New Jersey and Long Island guys.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, because Staten Island is at least in the city, technically. Yeah, I mean, so the if you had seen there was a shooting in Brooklyn at a subway station and then the guy was found about 24 hours later. And it was only because he had left his credit card at the scene like Zorro. Yeah, they only found him 24 hours later because he left his credit card at the scene. So they got his name and then he called in a tip against himself at the McDonald's in his village, seven dimensional chess.

Yeah. And then a guy that was working at a installing a security camera at a bodega, I believe, then just saw him walking around and called the cops like literally waved them over like there he is. Meanwhile, the cops were, you know, that new terrorist you've been looking for. Well, listen to this. Like, yeah, like literally just some guy named Zach from New Jersey just did that. And then meanwhile, the cops were a block away from where this guy was with the NYPD's

vaunted anti-terrorism unit, the SRG or Special Resource Group, which is mostly famous for beating the shit out of my friends the last two years. They were a block away doing anti-terrorism by throwing homeless people's tents in two garbage trucks, a block away from where this guy was. And then, of course, the last 24 hours since then, it's Thursday now, the cops have been crowing about the detectives and how they caught them and how good the NYPD is and what a good job they did. Like they weren't like literally just groping around their own assholes for a while.

Oh, great. Things also on the scene, the cops that were there, their radios didn't work and they were asking random people on the scene to call 911 for them. Wait, hang on. That's just no, that's just a way that you can get mugged without realizing it. As someone comes up to you, like, hey, I'm an NYPD officer. Can I use your phone to stop an on-coping man on the cop? The police right after you and go, someone call the police.

The cops didn't even like be like, can I borrow your phone? I'm sure the cops also, if you've ever seen a cop in the subway in New York City, the cops have phones because they're on them playing Candy Crush constantly or whatever, you know, cop game they're playing. Candy neutralized. There it is. No, you have to, citizen, you have to call the police. I have to work out which end of this gun I have to point at the guy.

Is a candy involved crushing? That's right. I mean, I mean, I'm still not like posting, like, thin blue line and stuff. It's a very thin blue line, that's gossamer thing. It's a friend. Sounds like you can just push right through. The cops did nothing at all. And also, since our beautiful

brain dead cop mayor has been mayor, they've been like flooding the subways with cops and there's so many of them everywhere now. And they they don't do anything. Cops don't prevent a policing doesn't prevent crime. It just doesn't. No, I have my own suspicions about about this. But number one, I think what this shows is that and, of course, what Eric Adams is going to do is going to say, well, this shows that we need

to make sure like to have cop only subway trains, like cop only cars so they're kept safe. But also we need to take that budget. We need to talk about these shootings keep happening in the cop only cars. Every cop is getting nervous because everyone else in there has a gun. Every cop needs their own subway car. That's right. Yeah. No one else can get in it and they need to black out the window so they can't see their reflection because then then they might start barking.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. But it's like it's what they're the solution to this, obviously, that is going to come out is going to be well. We need to double the amount of cops on the subway and the ten billion dollars or whatever that the NYPD gets per year. It clearly wasn't enough to have like randomly the cameras at this. All of the cameras in the straight line that this guy went on were all non-functional. No one's radios were functional.

I guess it's double the budget. There's only like 10,000 cameras in the New York City subway system already. And then like they're like, oh, only those three weren't working in the whole system. I was like, sure, I love to live in the panopticon that doesn't work. It's like the panopticon the panopticon tower is like leaning over and the guy's asleep. We're all still sitting in the panopticon like, I can't fucking say shit in it. I would be. I mean, like, I'm very surprised that you could actually see stuff in the subway.

I'm like, you know, I would have assumed that the cameras like have a bet as they have like a asbestos like all over them, right? Oh, yeah, the condition of the subway is not great. The and also there's a big sort of activity. Let's say activity out trying to determine the motive. And, you know, like lots of people are spiked, but you know, very like fucking Glenn Greenwald is like, oh, no one wants to confront that this is black identity extremism, which was designated a terror threat

by the FBI in 2018. You know, meanwhile, like you and I have been talking about Maddie. We love the FBI, don't we, folks? Yeah, the FBI watched that Bernie Mac set from Def Jam and got really scared. Oh, why has he never had any pumpkin pie? Why isn't he scared of any of these motherfuckers? He must be some kind of radical. The suspect is wearing jeans with a picture of the suspect on them.

He is if he pulls his shit out, the whole room will get dark. Repeat the whole room. He's trying to pull the shit out. No, sorry. But like the the discussing the motive, right? And, you know, like fuck, like all of the people who write for compound, whatever that new sort of drugstore culture for you guys is are saying, oh, this is clearly, you know, wokeness gone awry.

I mean, like actually like chemist culture, if you look at but if actually look at what he posted like on the days before, it's a lot of very confused, rambling stuff of just like as we were talking about, I think earlier, Maddie, right, just repeating a lot of the stuff that you might read and say the New York Times, the New York Post. I mean, this is a daily news New York Post reading motherfucker for sure. Like his politics were obviously very confused. There was a lot of ranting about like too many homeless people in the subway

but then also being like 9-11 was great, by the way. So, you know, it's it's very all over the place. He's he's a mixed bag, mixed. You agree on some things? Yeah, yeah, it's impossible to save bad or not. Yeah, he's a guy you've seen taxi driver and thought and thought there were some good points in it. Yeah, ironic that the NYPD, by just hassling the homeless,

we're actually just helping this guy with this agenda. I mean, kind of, because this is the point, right? This is sort of what I one of the things that I was thinking about driving at here is that, you know, what I what I think this is this talks about, right? Is that in New York and as we'll see in the UK and sort of a lot of other places, the Big Apple, yeah, there is some respect on it. The global Big Apple, the sort of collective global Big Apple in the medium pair of London town.

The impressive gooseberry. There is this sense, right, that the only way to manage that that things can be managed is by inspiring fear in people and then promising a crackdown to manage that fear. And so this is why I sort of draw a comparison to, like, you know, the Cohen Brothers characters without a movie that tried to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer, who were like, you know, called by the FBI and be like, you know, you should probably do this.

And then, you know, we won't stop you. And this guy, right, even if this guy wasn't necessarily put up to it by the police, but it is unusual how those cameras were off and it was he turned himself in and he left his credit card at the scene. Not that he was necessarily put up to it, but it's weird. But the idea of the NYPD not being able to find a guy who is their stooge. I mean, that's that's that's that guy's name again. Yeah, I mean, it's I think it's lacking the major hallmarks of like

of an actual like a capital O op because it went off a little. It didn't. It wasn't bad enough. It wasn't stupidly done enough and they took too long to find him. I mean, that's the thing, though. These it's not as though they do them on purpose. It's that they sort of find these dangerous, unbalanced people. And then just they they're like, well, this guy is going to be useful. And then they get out of hand, you know, as and sometimes they stop it

as within Gretchen as in with Gretchen Whitmer. And other times they don't like in Canada or this or knives. Anyway, the what I sort of drive out, though, is that it doesn't even matter because it's what I think is clear is that like with your with the sort of the whole sort of I the whole the whole energy, right? I think speaks to something is very innervated and nervous and make put into a state of blind panic. Because if your governing style is to induce blind panic,

that then you say you're the only one who can assuage by, say, expanding police budgets, cracking down on various like civil liberties or a sort of or or homeless people or or just disadvantaged ethnic groups or whatever, right? You stoke panic and then you promise to relieve the panic that, you know, you stoke. You know, it's in that sense, you know, you still put the person up to it, just not directly, right? The New York media has been, you know, there's a sort of like myth here.

There's a sort of like mythological the battle days that is referring specifically to the 70s and I think in like the late 60s, all the 70s and some of the 80s where there was the crime of skyrocketing and like New York City went bankrupt. And there's all, you know, it was like a legitimately less safe place to live. But basically since the the exit of Bloomberg, who was like our last, you know, like heavily authoritarian guy who, you know, installed himself for an illegal third term.

Oh, yeah. Ever since he left the New York, the local sort of like the pervert to the local media that like write the metro sections for the daily news and the post and the other tabloids, they've been sort of like edging. It's like the battle days are back. They're coming back. Here's the battle days. And it's always been this sort of thing where they're just waiting to do it. And during the pandemic, I think a lot of them got their wish because

basically in America, like in a lot of places, everyone was just basically abandoned by the by the local state, federal government. And it was, you know, now this is very self-fulfilling, like the city's dangerous now. So that's how, you know, Eric Adams, like, you know, won the primary basically and the, you know, and the in the mayoralty because he was he was promising to make it safer because he's a cop, you know. Yeah. And that's what they love to do. And that's, you know, what?

Oh, you, you sleepy there? Oh, you got a sleepy guy? Are you a little, you a little sleepyhead? No, I'm just sleep. I just feel so safe because there are so many cops. He's wearing a little sleeping cap and he's holding my lantern. Yeah. Milo Milo has has the little little little candle on a little bowl with a handle that he carries around to every single podcast recording.

That's right. And he's doing my night. Big stretch. Yeah. That's correct. That's how I like to, that's how I like to live. That's how I like to be. Yeah. So I think then, you know, it's we're going to get back.

That's a kind of anti-politics, right? That you're talking about, Maddie, the feeling of nothing is going to happen, but you have to not act on the basis of something you want to change about the world, but you have to react to sort of basically almost impulses that are generated in you. And that's an anti-politics that we're going to get back to when we talk, when we cross the Atlantic and come to Britain. But before we do that, do we have to go back to Britain?

Yes, we do. I'm sorry, Hussein, that's where the car is going. I want to talk to you all about a little something. And I'm going to give you a hint, right? A little startup from the United Arab Emirates. Oh, and it's called KITOPI. K-I-T-O-P-I. KITOPI.

KITOPI. Hussein, I'm going to give you a first guess. KITOPI. I'm giving Hussein first guess, sleepy Milo. Come on. Fuck, I don't know, man. KITOPI, get back to me. I'm just going to let me say something.

Sorry, it was too too... You're the one who usually gets it. You are the best at guessing what it actually is. So this is really stumping you. Maddie, please give us a guess. KITOPI. I was waiting for Milo to get it wrong, so I can call him Sleepy Milo.

KITOPI. I mean, I keep... Oh, he's yawning again. Look at him. It's a big one, too. Oh, not very well. Milo was COVID for the eighth time. Yeah, it's got an infection this time.

It wasn't COVID. Sorry, Maddie, please. OK, KITOPI, and it's in the UAE. That's right. But it's expanded around the world and there's an outpost of it near the TF Studio in London. It's got to be really stupid if it's from the UAE. And if it has a spot in London,

then it must be something property related or like landlord extraction or related. It does involve owning a property. OK, it's a way to fund building your own dome that you can live in. I wish, unfortunately, no. Um, is it like an Airbnb type thing? No, no, no. Our mission, they say, is to satisfy the world's appetite

and SoftBank and other esteemed investors recognize the value of KITOPI's platform to the industry. And we're truly revolutionizing. Is it fucking diets? Uh, not diets. Is it a platform for ghost kitchens? Correct, Hussain. You got it. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm glad I'm keeping my track of getting stuff. Oh, you're back. You're back, baby. Now, again, we talked about ghost kitchens before, but as I always say, when you find a startup, you can there can be many in the same industry, but it's something there's going to be something about it, something that sort of tickles your fancy and many like it. But this one is mine.

So they said in this one, no, SoftBank has invested hundreds of millions of dollars of the you know, it's good of the Kazakh government's money. That money goes on to hockey stadiums, but instead it's going to the first kitchen where you can have actual ghost meat. Yeah, that's right. A guy's kitchen where they do horse meat.

Oh, I think the Kazakhs pulled out a vision fund, too. Ignore me. You need a fucking gigantic saucepan to make horse stew. I'll tell you that. And such small portions. So, SoftBank and other esteemed investors recognizing the value of KITOPI's platform to the food and beverage industry

and how we're truly revolutionizing the way people access food. So it's valued at like well over a billion dollars. Cool. It's a... Yeah, exactly. Like who fucking who cares about unicorns now? Like every single one is funded at over a billion dollars. Like out of some metaverse avatar customization

company that's like three guys in a basement is valued over a billion dollars. You don't even need an office anymore. It's awesome. So the valve on the money tap is just broken. That's right. Well, it's like the money tap is broken, but then there's money kind of money water

coming out of the walls and damaging everything. The gold valve is kaput. So what and what one of the reasons I wanted to talk about this is I spent quite a while today trying to find out what makes them a tech company. Oh, I still barely know, but there are a few things I was able to find out. So is it that they do it on the computer?

That's a big part of it. Yeah, I think so. Well, you're on our website, aren't you? Doesn't that give you a clue? What makes our platform so unique? We've developed an in-house suite of applications known as our smart kitchen operating system or SCOSS. Is the best they can do?

SCOSS. SCOSS. SCOSS. I hate it when you're at formal hall and you get SCOSSed. Thank you very much, Milo. Just for Riley, that one. Lovely. Well, I SCOSS anyone who can't answer this next question.

It's not really a question. It's more I'm going to say something and you react to it. It's the format of the show. Everyone knows. The custom. No one mentioned any woman who's not the queen or the virgin Mary. The custom built technology optimizes all aspects of kitchen operations in real time to maximize efficiency and increase utilization.

And again, like, I don't know, you can't just you wouldn't be able to go order food from a ketopy and be like, oh, delicious. I love that ketopy patented crunch. It would be like, oh, I love getting, you know, a burger cunt or whatever. As Alice often said, you wouldn't download your burger cunt, would you? Well, no, maybe you wouldn't. So like you can't just like, you know, it's like it's like delivery. It's a platform that facilitates like consumer and a restaurant or in this case,

a dark kitchen. It's not like a restaurant in or a dark kitchen in and of itself. Yeah, like you can middleman. You can get a Nathan's famous hot dog in the UAE because of this tech company. Is it going to be made by the people that make a Nathan's famous hot dog? No, it can be made out of the same stuff, almost certainly not. The online GIC, where you can either get a Nathan's famous hot dog or a burger cunt, depending on your preference.

Thank you. Well, it's important for the Nathan's dog is the barding on it, right? You want to have the right sort of jacket. And so it's just Nathan's on it. They say our state of the art smart kitchens are the solution you need to scale in just 14 days. And they talk about all this. So I actually went through old back issues of entrepreneur Dubai magazine.

Oh, wow. Why did you have those? Stacked up next to his toilet, just like back to the old faithful. I promised I never would. Just as I'm getting out, they pull me back in here. I am just licking a finger and turning a page to open up entrepreneur Dubai. June 2021. There's an alternate history where we're all sat around in full Arab dress

eating dates and back lover and just talking about how great all of these UAE companies are. I would. We'd get found at $108 million by the government. Sure. Good. Done. Yeah, done.

Fine. Send me a Fendi belt if you agree. That's right. So no, I figure. So I have a little bit of it, right? I actually found something. The solution focuses on, this might surprise you, delivering a great customer experience across multiple brands.

Oh, yeah. So it's it's not just a kitchen with a website. It focuses on delivering a great customer experience across multiple brands. Cool. No one's ever done that before. So they say basically, well, no, what we do is we use data science to predict when drivers will arrive, how long an item will take to cook and then auto sequence the items to cook first there by enhancing speed.

We have a big computer. And we put the food in the computer and it goes, and it makes it more efficient. Don't ask us how it works. Don't. I've told you before we don't know it's magic. Our proprietary hamburger later that we punch guards. It's your burger. Thank you.

My love, it was made by a robot in the most general, in the most generous possible assessment, right? Because usually whenever someone says, we use some A.I. secret sauce and it massively increases our efficiency or whatever. Generally speaking, what they're really doing is just pushing their workers harder and then using the proprietary burglater. Of course, they have burglater, which is just it's just a guy in there. Yeah, that's right.

Cycling all these mechanical tucks. I wish they'd get out of Hamburg. One of the things that I sort of took away from this is if you take it at its word and say, yes, actually, it does have all of this data and A.I. secret sauce that everyone always claims to have and etc. Then what they're really doing is the innovation here is to just mechanize the people working in the kitchen more to make them more like machines. And in a sense, it is taking the Amazon model.

It's not just taking the ghost kitchen model started by you remember those two girls, Jeannie and Echie. Oh, fuck. Yes, yes. Disco biscuit, then their friend disco biscuit. Yeah, well, the dog's called Jessica, but the mom's called disco biscuit. Yeah. And their friend, uh, uh, uh, cat key bump.

Yeah. Kettie. Kettie. Kettie key. Kettie key bumpington. Kettie key hyphen bump. But it's like K.E.Y.E. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. C-A-I-U-S hyphen bump with an E. Yeah, that's right. Thank you. Very good. We got there in the end, folks. No, so, um, right. But what's what's happening, right?

Is they they're just taking a model where they have a kitchen that doesn't have a line. Coke. Posh names are fun. So what those, those two, I can't remember their last name. Newton, I think. Disco biscuit, Newton. Disco biscuit, Newton. That's right.

Uh, they took a, a, their, their model was for that conversion of ghost kitchens is they would just say, what if we just had a kitchen and instead of orders coming in from servers or people eating outside, it's literally just for delivery. And that was like the main innovation. And what they've invented a takeaway. Exactly. But they've invented a takeaway that's like a secret one. Yeah.

Like a stealth takeaway that only delivery writers know about, like a fight club. Oh, yeah. Cool. Whereas Ketope, what they're saying is, no, we're going to take it one step further, we're going to make this more like Amazon and we are going to use, uh, AI data secret sauce to thank you. My love, actually, this one goes on in my hand whenever they say, I think, I, I think that, I think that person named that actually went to a charter house.

Are you going to be peep peep peep peep peep's party next later this summer? Yeah. Her parents are really chill. They've gone to the same shelves for the winter. They've just like, let her have the house. This is a joke's just for us. I was saying, right, they've taken this model and they have made it into Amazon. Basically, they've taken that a step further in the kind of selecting a big

bunch of people and then just basically mechanizing them by making a computer of their boss. And they talk about, right, they don't just, they don't just monitor like who's preparing what meal using, you know, the big data secret sauce, but they're also constantly spying on everybody in the kitchen. Uh, and once again, they say, oh, they say this tech, they say, could help ensure our colleagues wash their hands. It's a bad use of the computer.

They say, um, this, this technology could help ensure our colleagues were washing their hands for 20 seconds, wearing the mask correctly and so on. If an anomaly was identified, we'd be able to rectify it immediately. So basically you wash your hands for 15 seconds. It's like citizen, go back to the sink. Rest assured, any of our kitchen staff who don't wash their hands for at least 20 seconds are executed immediately. I mean, as long as we're keeping anomalies out of my food, I'm happy.

It's a computer like shedding a tear. Is it like pulls out a revolver and puts it to your temple? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Hold on. I speak computer guys. You saying I'm very sorry. I don't want to do this. I can't lose this job.

I want to go ahead from Boston, asthma, you know, and they, so basically like imagine working in a kitchen, it's covered in CCTV cameras and there is a scree, there's a computer that is monitoring everything you do, predicting all the work you're going to do. And you have no idea why you're doing what you're doing. You just know you have to pick up the rice and put it over here. You have to chop half of this carrot and then you have to go wash your hands for 23 seconds.

And then you, and it's, it's so disorienting, right? To not have any connection to the thing that you're making other than just being a piece of a machine that they haven't been able to automate yet and are controlling as tightly as they can with these kinds of, what are essentially surveillance technologies. Like that's what, as far as I can tell, the smart kitchen operating system is, is it is a device to surveil and further control and de-skill the tasks of a kitchen worker.

It's also just insane. They're like, they're developing the system from the movie equilibrium to make nachos. This is never going to be an efficient way of doing this. It's deranged. We're here. We work through the rhythm of the hamburger later. We do not, we do not question its will.

It is beyond out, Ken. So, Matty, who's saying, what do you, what do you two think of this, this development and we'll move on? I'm excited for when my career falls through and I have to go work in like food servers or something that I can become a high priest of the hamburger later to divine its will. They used to be a famous cartoonist called Matty Lipchansky. Not anymore.

Not anymore. Yeah. I'm now a high priest as a hamburger later. You know what you're describing? You're describing the game paranoia, but set in a kitchen. Hussein, any final thoughts? Yeah, I mean, it sucks. So this is like, what else can you say?

I just think it's very, it's, it's, it's just very, well, all I can really say is that this is, this is such a typical thing to kind of come out of the UAE in the sense of like, and like the only immediate thing I kind of think is like the UAE is basically filled with like fast food places anyway. And like the fact that you can sort of get it anywhere and like crucially, like you already paid delivery and like kitchen stuff, like very little to do. So like the fact that it's kind of diminishing even more, I don't know. It's all just like very fucking dystopian.

I don't like, it's just genuinely one of those things that is not because I think it's like kind of gross compared to other stars that we've done, but it's more, oh, OK, like, yeah, the inevitably this is going to be like the next inevitable thing because like, if you didn't think that ghost kitchens were dystopic enough, then, and I guess, I don't know, as like a final thing also, like it's just kind of this and I wonder what you think about this about like the idea that you kind of have to kind of keep on kind of creating these types of not even tech companies, but just like different ways of doing

mass surveillance, right? There's like, there's no sort of finishing point until you have like complete control over or like, well, it doesn't finish until like you can basically replace the humans with robots. But until then, like you kind of just keep creating stuff to put them under more and more control in like a precarious climate where like all the smart money like heads towards surveillance tech. Well, I mean, without the sort of direct reference to surveillance, I mean,

you could just transpose exactly what you said on to, you know, Mark's talking about the steam loom and, you know, you sort of get the same trajectory. You know, like once you finish the spinning Jenny, Katopia becomes inevitable. Yeah, essentially. I think it's interesting that this is sort of like the long term sort of mechanization of fast food work, specifically if you go back to like McDonald's and the way they started doing things is they sort of did the assembly line process and they try to mechanize and sort of automate people's

work as best they could within that system. And right, this is like the long term sort of goal of manufacturing work, labor and fast food and all this stuff. But I think it's interesting that the technology to actually automate it is not getting better. All they're just doing is adding cameras all the time and more people to yell at you and they've just automated the manager and not the work. And they just have this like flesh robot.

That's a person, but they're trapped now in this horrible process. Well, that's the thing, isn't it? That the companies that have done these sorts of efficiency improvements effectively are the ones that have done the unsexy ones. Like the reason why McDonald's is really efficient is because they've made the process of making any McDonald's meal incredibly simple so you can get anyone to do it. Like you just, everyone has a simple task that they do over and over again.

It's not that they have like loads of surveillance or like the hamburger later, which coordinates all of this. No, the reason why it works is because their system is really fucking simple and it's like impossible to fuck it up. That's what that's actually how you get efficiency. They actually still do have tons of surveillance, right? Like maybe not like AI enabled cameras, but you know, there is absolutely they do absolutely have like and more and more recently, like with

an algorithmic manager sense. But even before, right? One of the key things about, say, a task that is broken down and standardized that much is that it's easy to surveil. You know, yeah, I'm not saying McDonald's are good. I'm just saying that McDonald's being like an older company that isn't run by like a bunch of like completely adult people on like their 19th day of the afternoon, who just like, yeah, I don't know, more cameras than the hamburger

later, like they're just like they've been running a fucking business for like 70 years. And they're like, yeah, this is like how you this is how you run a production line. It's like, I like what I love about all these like so-called tech companies is that they love being like, we are here to innovate. We are going to ignore all of the best practices that have been developed over the last like 200 years of industrialization and presume that this insane thing we've come up with is the solution to all of that.

It's a bit like the way libertarians always end up reinventing the government by accident. Like these companies are like, oh, well, then in the end, we had to, you know, break things down into stages. Well, it is reinvent, serve them and getting yelled at. It seems to be that. Yeah, exactly. I'd love to I'd love to like own the web, like the web three Dow that

reinvents yelling on the block. Yeah, it turned out that the algorithm couldn't really successfully predict what the demand would be. So we just had to go back to a kind of statistical confidence interval. I mean, that's sort of what it is. Yeah, that's what's just that's that is what AI is. It's just a regression. Cool.

It's just a sufficiently complex one that repeats and repeats and repeats. Well, I mean, it sure does. I thought it was a magical hamburger computer from space. They got sent here to help us. I want to talk about anti politics, friends. Sounds like, you know, like when they would have like the intro to a kid's show and he would be like, and it's Davey and Stu and Susan to have a magical hamburger computer from space.

I don't think we had the same kind of kid's shows. Yeah, I'm introducing Sleepy Milo. That's right. Maybe they're maybe they're good friends. Sleepy Milo will come for a visit. Yeah, that's right. Sleepy Milo and hamburger later, my favorite show. No, we're going to move over to the UK.

Davey, stop fucking the hamburger later. Oh, yeah, you gotta stop doing that, Davey. I'll be a computer from space. Uncle Vito is in the hamburger later show. Oh, I was involved. No, don't report this to my probation officer. I can't go back. Well, he learned how to talk in jail.

Huh? I'll let you just laugh that one out there, buddy. To file Don Vito has been turned into a hamburger computer from space as a punishment. Well, yeah, this is this is like the stupid version of Warhammer 40,000, where you commit a terrible crime and then you're turned into a servitor. It's just in this case, the servitor is for something really dumb. Yeah, you can't make me be on this console. I'm going to make you learn about Warhammer 40,000 Milo.

No, I never will. Yeah, I'm going to do it. I'm going to I'm going to make it. But you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to just insert so many references into the episodes that it's your job to be on and the knowledge is going to stick. What about Warhammer 40 and it's just about Milf's? That's an idea.

All right. Well, the emperor turns you into a mill. The emperor doesn't turn anyone to I'm just going to go on. The emperor in his space mills. He doesn't turn anyone into anything. He uses arcane genetic alchemy. OK, he's growing milfs. That makes more that's closer. Yeah, sounds like some Harry Potter shit to me.

But OK, go off. Imagine the people in games workshop just painting like busty mills, little models. That would be fun. You had a bunch of a bunch of like virgins just like just painting just like sexy older women. They get mad at you. I remember like the reason I got turned off Warhammer was because when I got like one of those small sets

when I was younger as a gift and you got to paint them in the store. Right. And some like and some like nerd got mad at me because I was painting like my kind of goblins or whatever, the wrong color. And I was and I was just very confused. Because I was because it was like because I was kind of like do do do the elves have a certain color? And like if any is like, yeah, it's in the book, but you've got to buy the book. And it's just like, yeah.

And so that that one secret elf color, you can only learn it's like Scientology. Like you have to give us money and then we'll tell you the secret goblin. He was like to me as if I should know what those colors were. And I was just like I was like 12 years old. I don't know, man. It's just, you know, I don't know. I knew what all the colors were when I was 12. They color the time painting them, is that correct? You get out.

I'm not doing Warhammer like for knowledge. And that's the reason why I'm never stepping into a Warhammer shop ever again. Fair play. Fair enough. All right. No, I want to bring it over to Britain and I want to talk about anti-politics because let's see if there's one's one story. The entire country's at least commentary, it seems to be gripped by. It is Boris Johnson has received a small fine. Woo!

The first British Prime Minister in history to have broken the law. That's right. And so many of our journalists were confidently reporting. Absolutely. No British Prime Minister has ever broken the law. I hear Ted Heath is also going to be on that show, by the way. That's right. Normal guy, Ted. It's also like, because, OK, you can say that and say like, this is the only sitting Prime Minister who's ever been like actually

caught and reprimanded by the police breaking the law. But like you just sound insane if you say the only sitting. I don't not only is British Boris Johnson not the first sitting British Prime Minister to have broken the law, it's not the first time he broke the law. Like, come on. What are you talking about? And the funny thing is, right? If you recall, you have to cast your mind back to like January, early February, where all it was like when when he was kind of floundering

and the Daily Mail and the Sun and everything basically turned on him. Yeah, it affected it affected Tory polling. It hasn't really recovered or not that much. And then Labour decided we're going to make the entire election about this. Sorry, I shouldn't really do this Dharma voice. It's not. Well, it's a union job. It might be the Labour Party, but you are the Conservative Party having a party, the party that was being had by you illegally.

And it's a disgrace. I want to hear more of Riley's Corp steamer, whoever. Corp steamer. Yeah. It's the it's the steam paddle boat that takes you to Corp. So, right. The yeah, it's like the damage has kind of been sort of done, what damage there was to do. But now if you look at like the covers of the Daily Mail and the Sun,

the Daily Mail, I actually screen shot it here. It says Boris is only there for nine minutes, carry less than five. The birthday cake never left its Tupperware box. God, how fucking sad? Every time I learn to do like an arcane ritual. No, the cake must never leave the box. Well, anytime I learn another detail about like all of these like mandatory

fun work parties that like shook the nation, it just gets sadder and sadder and sadder. I just I'm casting my mind back to like the Christmas gathering. We're just some like civil servant in his like late fifties was just sitting there in an ill fitting suit, wearing like a little tinsel garland. And it was just so sad. I'm so baffled by this because they could have like they could have just kind of gotten away with it if they hadn't lied. If they'd have just said like, yeah, I know it looks bad,

but like all these people work together. They were like pulling like fucking 16 hour shifts with all this stuff. We just kind of thought it would be nice to let them unwind a bit. We see how bad it looks. We're sorry, whatever. It would have just gone away. Like but because they did the whole thing like, well, what really is a party? Socrates, can you riddle me that?

And then now it's a now they've just got like all the most boring people online yelling at them constantly being like, Boris Johnson killed my grandmother by having a party. No, Boris Johnson killed your grandmother by everything else that he did, the actually bad stuff, the corruption and the not doing anything about the stuff. And right. They said in the Daily Mail goes on to say, don't they know there's a war on which last I heard we weren't in. No, but we're not in. Oh, we've been in a war for a long time and that war is against one Jeremy Corbyn.

Yeah, that's correct. I'm going to I'm going to hand like an occasional W to a private eye on this. Whose front page is Boris Johnson shaking hands with Zelensky and they're both saying thank you for rescuing me. Oh, no. So the reason I want to talk about this right is like I've often said any time this comes up, I think it's a useful lens to think about other things in this country, it itself is not interesting. But seeing how other people react to it, seeing what other people see in it

is, I think, instructive. And I think right. The there is a desire on the part of the great and the good, the opinion formers of Britain, the people who sort of who through their you know, voices and control of, you know, news outlets, TV, newspapers and so on are sort of saying, well, this is what we want to talk about. And, you know, this is in the sense of arguing about was there rule breaking or was there not?

Should you respect the Prime Minister? It all comes down essentially to demanding that you have or respect an affect, you know, you should feel betrayed or you should feel insulted and scared, you know, and there's very and there's very little mention of. And by the way, I'm sort of going to move on to the sort of alleged kind of liberal wing of British politics, the opposition party and so on. Sort of saying this is the only thing that is happening. This is the only thing that is happening.

Well, we, you know, millions are plunged into food poverty. Well, like our version of Matthew Lesko is like there will be civil unrest. Are our sad Matthew Lesko, our dour, Matthew Lesko, political violence, advocating Matthew Lesko, he was he took great pains to say he wasn't advocating it. He was just saying, I think it's inevitable. Yeah, I think it's funny that you guys are getting like your own like weird low stakes version of the Mueller report stuff where it's

like the same sort of like, oh, we're just distracted by the stupidest shit imaginable while the very bad leader of the country does very bad things that were, you know, results in like actual material problems for actual people. And then there's like, no, no, no, the real problem is a phone call that he made or whatever, you know, yeah. And like, I think and what I want and the other thing, right, that's happening at the same that was announced today, right, is that Britain has looked at Australia's refugee policy, which is essentially to put them

on a fucking prison island. And again, come up with a stupid version, because as evil as it is, that island is near Australia. It makes logistical, if not moral sense. Riley, would you like to tell listeners where the UK is planning to build its sort of asylum concentration camp? Rwanda, awesome, cool, cool. We're going to repair the reputation of Rwanda by building a concentration

camp there. Rwanda is a crown jewel of the Red War. That's right, they're creating jobs. I'm a simple American. I don't know anything outside of the little hole that I live in. Geopolitics wise, are you just allowed to build something in Rwanda? If you agree it with the dictator of Rwanda, he's letting me build like a big conservative.

He's an agreeable guy. Sure. The thing is, right, this is much of what is out of it. And again, there are a lot of people saying, ah, we did this because of Brexit, et cetera, et cetera. And again, I remind you, what the fucking EU did with its offshore detention centers in Libya, right, that all of these countries do it. Australia does it, the EU does it.

Now we're doing it. The US is big enough that they can just put their offshore detention centers inside. They don't need to be offshore, they can just be inside. But we're all doing it. But now we have decided to do it, again, in a especially sort of evil and strange way. And all of Britain, and what I'm so, you know, so sort of noticing here,

right, is there is this, this mania has gripped, I think, the liberal commentary, all the way up to the leader of the Labour Party, that this thing, this thing in Rwanda, this country, this commission of what I think is essentially an historically evil by Britain, one of many, but certainly a new one, right, is a distraction. It's a distraction from the party. And I am, I almost cannot believe, I can believe it because I understand that, you know, these people are morally depraved and also rather

stupid, but I am shocked, nevertheless, to see it. I've clipped a few here. Well, it's because, you know, you have to understand that we're trying to get Boris Johnson for the bad thing that he did, which is having a party, and we can't afford to have any distraction of that from just regular normal things that are bipartisan that he's doing, such as building a concentration camp in Rwanda. And that's why I call it anti-politics, right?

Because it's focusing on, if politics is sort of at base, right, the advancements of your particular interest against that of someone else, right, that's generally, I think that's a pretty broad definition. I'm sure I could be disagreed with, that's sort of fine, right? So, appealing, say, to say, though, this advancement of the interests of terrified homeowners, essentially, like of the advancement of a social movement that gets its legitimacy by frightening homeowners, and then promising to crack down on the things it says are frightening them,

right? And then that it advances its agenda against an identified group that it sees as counter to its interest, in this case, some of the, you know, poorest and most downtrodden people in the world who really have nowhere else to go because usually they'll have some connection to someone, something here, right? And they are advancing their interests against that, against those people. And the desire to see this purely as a distraction from a case of rule-breaking that everyone can agree was an instance of rule-breaking is a, it's the only way that anti-politics and the anti-politics of, like,

the Labour Party under Starmer, Liberal Technocracy, the Romaniacs, whatever, I have a Romaniac on here with a quote, actually, but that's the only thing they can see because they don't want to fight a political battle, they want to be advanced something that everyone can agree on, which is anti-politics, because you're saying, well, actually, there are no competing interests, everyone's, everyone is aligned, all we have to do is agree that we don't want a rule-breaking Prime Minister in office and then they'll replace him with, even in their wildest dreams,

they replace him with a Tory, that's the same fucking thing. Well, there's nothing in the Constitution, there's nothing against the rules about building a concentration camp rally, so. That's right. This became the same thing with, as there was with Trump, right, where it was just like, sir, sir, you have to do all the evil stuff by filling out the correct form, actually, sir. And that's the thing, right? It is, it is dubious legality in Australia and here, and that doesn't stop anyone. I do get the impulse to a degree in the sense that, like, I think with, like, this government in particular, we know that, like, they're very receptive to

media people, we know that they're very receptive, I mean, they're very receptive to, like, certain media people, right? And they're also a government that is filled with, like, you know, columnists turned, or, like, you know, think tech guys turn columnists turn, like, political advisors. And, you know, they, I, my thinking is, like, it's not necessarily that they are kind of, like, doing stuff to troll people, but, like, their impulses are very much, like, you know, there is a certain strand of, like, the current British government, which is, like, doing stuff just to own the lips, and the whole kind of, like, right-wing media infrastructure that has deep links to government doing the same thing. So I can sort of understand, like, from,

like, the liberal perspective, where, again, they're very sort of, like, plugged into media, and for them, like, you know, media communication is, like, very instructive to their politics. They see everything in this type of framework of, like, oh, they're doing these types of policies because they don't like my podcast or they don't like my posts. And, like, it sounds insane to say, but, like, I can understand where the impulse comes from when, like, so much of your kind of political communication, alignment, whatever and stuff, like, comes from communicating online in a particular way, if that makes sense? Well, I think it's that it's, you see it that way as a result of being, like, one what you in particular, one sees it that way, as a result of seeing,

again, all politics is purely communicative. And so if you're Ian Dunn, who said sort of what you were alluding to here, who said, the point of the Rwanda policy is to upset people like me. That's right. They're doing it, they're doing it specifically to agree with him and to own it. It's one of those things where Ian Dunn, Ian Dunn's so wrong, he's almost right. Like, obviously, what he's saying is idiotic in the sense of, like, it's a lighting, huge things about, like, how many people are going to die because of this policy. And it's obviously not to agree with Ian Dunn, but it is almost to do the kind of like, direct opposite effect of that, which is to, like, please the people that hate Ian Dunn. And those people

will be pleased by the fact that Ian Dunn hates it, certainly. And I think what the sort of the kind of the skeleton of a good point is in there in the sense that none of this is really about the thing itself. It's primarily about the appearance of the thing. Like, is this actually going to be workable having a fucking asylum processing center in Rwanda? It seems a bit pie in the sky to me, but saying you're going to do it and having at least sending a few people there and whatever makes great fucking Daily Mail reading, which I think is the primary point of it. Well, I think that it's, I think that what what Ian is, what Ian is doing is, remember, he's making himself the whole thing where he's forgetting that he doesn't matter. None of the,

none of the people that the terrified homeowners both fear and hate at the same time, whether that is refugees or young people or people who live in urban areas or all of these things, right? There is no sort of, it goes back to thinking about the Tories as a social movement. You can't, you can't stop one bit of it. You can't say, well, it's because of, it's because, it actually makes, it makes sense because they're appealing to the Daily Mail people who I know who have been conditioned to hate all the people that will pose the things they pose and so on. Rather, I think it, you have to see these things as working together as one machine and that one machine essentially is created around the degradation and cutting short of human life

in order to, you know, enrich, it used to be enriched seven inbred guys, you know, now it's to enrich maybe nine guys who've, you know, got rich in the 80s. I think it, you can't, what, what Dunt is doing is he's stopping that process and picking out the part where he gets mad and he sees that as the core part of the process. But in all of these, it's rather than any one part of that process being the core of it, other than just who benefits, is I think you have to see the whole process as a whole, right? It's not just, and so it's very easy to say, ah, this is a distraction or they're just doing this for the publicity or they're doing this for the publicity because they'll know I'll hate it or they're doing this for the publicity because they know the Daily

Mail readers will love it, is rather, you have to see these things as an interconnected system and what it, what it, and the thing that it spits out is, as we say, this repeated cycles of the inducement of panic and the promise to alleviate that panic through crackdown, essentially, and then that cycle is fundamentally political and it's achieving a political goal through political means by advancing the interests of one group against another, in order to, again, advance the interest of an ultra insider clique. And to, and I think the, the reaction of, of someone like Dunn to saying, this is to piss me off, is, is looking through a little pinhole at one part of that process and sort of deciding that's the process, much like someone like Mike Galsworthy,

another fucking brain genius from 2016 and won't go the fuck away. He says, frustrating though the Rwanda story is, keep writing to your MP about party gate slash law breaking, which is that this thing, this core process of the political purposes of not just the Tory party, but the British state in general, is somehow a distraction from a random thing from the news a couple months ago. I could have some sympathy with this if I thought it was in any way strategic, like if, if there were a bunch of people who were like, yeah, this thing is really bad, but for whatever stupid reason, this party thing is what's going to bring the government down. So we should be focusing on this because the main thing we need to do, and we can sort out the Rwanda thing if we bring the

government down. There would be some logic to that, except that the absolute best case scenario, and it's still not going to happen, is that Boris Johnson gets replaced by another Tory, who will then be more popular because he won't be tainted by this shit. And so we'll probably win the next fucking election. Strategically, it's better that Boris Johnson stays. I wonder how much of this is also just like the kind of trap that centrists have sort of found themselves in. I don't know, trap is sort of giving them too much credit, but I kind of wonder whether the kind of Corbyn year, for them, their whole position is very much the integrity of government and the parliamentary process is something that we should

all be invested in from all sides of the political spectrum. And the fact that we aren't means that Boris Johnson gets to kind of continue doing his stuff. Conservatives continue to do all their stuff and so on. But it's also a reaction to the idea that when the Corbyn years took place, because of the disdain towards the Corbyn administration, towards the Corbyn-Jadah government, the idea that they should have a transformative government or a kind of government that does politics differently is a complete enathema. It's something that needs to be avoided because they spent so much time convincing people that wasn't the way to go. And now they've sort of found themselves in this weird quagmire of they can't advocate for different politics,

let alone any politics that harks back to the Corbyn years, even though lots of the policies sort of not only make sense, but are kind of in some ways inevitable at some point or another. But they can't advocate for that. And they also can't advocate for voting for the Tories because the last time they basically did that, we've ended up in this situation. So I think that they found themselves completely boxed up because they can't really advocate for anything new. So all they've got left is hoping that appealing to people's sense of, oh, the parliamentary process is something that is the envy of the world and we need to protect it. But crucially, they're trying to talk to people who, for the most part, don't believe

that's true and haven't believed that's true for a very, very, very long time. I think that's exactly right. Because the decision to fight politics with politics has essentially been excised from British electoral life sort of as of the election of Starmer, right? The decision to take a political opposition. But yeah, and it's also why Starmer, when Starmer's asked about it, his main thing is like, oh, yeah, well, if you want to do the quote in the Milo voice, I won't let you are. Milo, will you please do the honours of Starmer's quote? I think we need to see these plans for what they are, a desperate announcement by a Prime Minister

just wants to distract from his own lawbreaking. They're extortionate and unworkable and they're going to cost the taxpayers billions of pounds. They reflect a Prime Minister who has no grip, no answers, and Britain deserves better than this. Lenin. We deserve a Prime Minister with a grip. I've noticed the same thing over here, too, with our sort of like centrist in punitive class and also the Democrats, is they refuse to and cannot frame these things in moral terms despite it being fairly easy to do so. This is like a great evil they're trying to perpetrate. It's so easy. It's right there, the moral lane, but they won't take it because they

just spent the last, I guess, over there a longer time, knifing Corbin and then here, knifing Bernie that they just, like Hussein was saying, to suggest that there is a moral stance to be taken is to admit that they perhaps should not have done that and they are partially responsible for everything being shit. That's where we get back to write the question. I think even the question of, well, would going hard on the party stuff or whatever work and get the government out, et cetera, that's like, that's still kind of anti-politics, right? Because when you make a moral argument, you are, it's something that's irreducible. If I make a moral argument against you, we can't debate and come to an agreement unless one of us changes our mind, right? It's

kind of zero. There is some kind, what was it called? A radical negativity. It's zero-sum. One side has to win. There's no way to get a compromise out of the Rwanda thing unless you suggest an anti-concentration camp under the earth so that the neutralization is nowhere. It's like call up an offset. Whenever you build a concentration camp, you just have to build an ever and reverse concentration camp on the other side of the earth and then it's like you didn't build one. Ultimately, I think that as much as people like Dundt and Starmer and stuff, like to say that this is something that's so horrible, at the same time, we had a thing that was an alternative, not just a ignore it focus on the battle we can win, which is arguing about

the rules, right? We had that. We don't have that anymore. And so what you get is- Imagine how bad things would be if we did. Yeah. So what you- Chilling thoughts. So all you're left with is complaining how much the fucking concentration camp is going to cost. Right. I've got more advice for Kier Starmer. Okay, right. We've tried telling him to call Boris Johnson a cunt and start menacingly fiddling with a flick knife from across the dispatch box. He didn't do that. We advised him to go out with Julia Fox. He didn't do that. Kier, you need to start

making TikToks like the Walker for Colorado, the gay Democrat guy. I want Kier Starmer. Oh, look, you're complaining about the concentration camp in Rwanda. Listen, that doesn't play well with the voters, honey. For Labour to legislate, we need to actually win. Okay. All right. So that vote, they were going to throw away on the Greens or on Jeremy Corbyn. All right. It's no good. Okay. You've got to give it to us so that we can- The adults in the room, we're going to find a compromise. Okay, baby. All right. Okay. So just go on over to Kier Starmer.com. Okay. So he's going to be Kier Starmer. Camp Starmer. There we go. Which is also what he's going to call the concentration camp

that he will build in a more sensible place. So any appeal, right? Any appeal to the mere technical element of it, right? To say, we should be in charge of it. The inherent assumption is that because of our manifest goodness as the good party rather than the bad party, we're going to do a concentration camp that's going to be better somehow and cheaper, more importantly. But we should be allowed to run it because ultimately, it's because there are bad and there's bad and there's good, but it's affect. The Tories have a bad affect. They don't have a grip. We, Labour, we have a good affect and a grip. And so we should be allowed to do the things that we all agree on. And so, you know, I mean,

this is why I say it, right? Like, if you've, if that the people who fought to make sure that the other moral side of this stayed out of Downing Street in 2019, they have, by insisting that the only thing that could oppose this extremely strong, vicious, right-wing reactionary politics embodied by the Tory party now, right? They ensured that the only weapon that could be fought against it is anti-politics. You're essentially, it's like, it's like you're being sent into the Coliseum with a wooden sword to die. Anti-politics is not a good weapon. I've never seen it actually fucking win. Actually, Tartus the Gold, there's a no-kicking rule in the Colette. So first of all, can I just,

it's the Emperor seeing this because that's against the rules. There'll be no kicking of sand into the eyes. You've cut my arm off, but I was talking. I wasn't ready. So stick it back on, right? Well, we'll do it. We're going to do this properly. Okay. The fight doesn't begin until both competitors are ready. Sorry, Matty, please. I was going to say, what about the old saying, it's a starmarism or barbarism is what everyone's always saying, right? Those are the two options. Anyway, I think that's well enough for today. We've had some laughs. I got my own relaxation vein out. Oh yeah, nice. I've had a haircut. Oh, lovely stuff. Much shorter than usual. Congratulations. Thank you. And I'm also facing what some are calling the Strongman's Dilemma,

where my really nice pants no longer fit properly. Stomman's Dilemma. Yeah, you may do dick to dick. You are truly... Yeah, your body is changing and is preparing for the summer of Morbius. That's right. I'm M to M, male to Morbius. Yeah, Riley's been getting those synthol injections and his penis. He's like that German guy, yes. He'll make the pants fit again if you've lost too much weight. That's absolutely right. Anyway, so Matty, I want to say thank you very much for coming on and hanging out with us today. It has been very nice to talk to you. That was great. And Matty, is there anything you'd like to plug? Oh, sure. Let's see. Right now, you could back me on Patreon if you want to read some comics early, just at patreon.com.

And in about four or five months, if you see me relentlessly plugging a book pre-order, please do pre-order that book. Matty, will any of these comics feature people living in a futuristic wasteland having oddly relevant conversations based on the news of the day? Riley, I see how your team be up here with the answers now. I appreciate it. Do any of them feature pebble-medieval cars? It's a graphic novel. It does take place in the future and people are having relevant conversations, but it's not like political cartoons. Fair enough. Well, Riley, I'll be continuing to read those anyway. Yeah. Also, shows. Oh, the plugs, the plug section. It's the plugs. Jerry Seinfeld, is that you?

I don't say this every time. I regret showing you Seinfeld. Every time I'm doing the plugs, I'm thinking, we'll release four. Right. So, the TF Live show, 20th of April. There may still be tickets. You can come here and do that voice for like an hour. Yeah, you could. Don't, though. There is the fucking, I have a rehearsal of Pindos before I film it on the 26th of April, and then the filming itself is on the 1st of May. Tickets for that on my website. There's also the Britonology and Johannes von Kahn, The Clockhead's live show on the 3rd of May. That might be sold out by now, because the tickets are very limited.

And then 17th of May, I'm in Brighton doing my new show, Voicemail at Comedia. Tickets for that also on my website. All disappeared in the description. Come along. Hussain, as ever, where can people find you in real life? Don't. You can't find me. You can find me at like the kind of like backwaters of South London. Where I'm arguing with a guy of a horse. Dave Courtney's friend's birthday party. Before we sign off, I read to talk about that poster. It's Dave Courtney's advertising his friend Brendan's birthday party.

Brendan O'Neill. Yeah. And there's just, it's just, it's like a pen and pixel poster where he's just got a bunch of random clip art on it. He's got, everything is glowing. He's got Tyson Fury and the guy Tyson Fury is fighting. Heavily implies that they're going to be there, but then it's like, no, you're just going to be watching on a screen in Dave Courtney's house. And it's all done.

And then the background of the poster behind just a sort of 50% transparency picture of his friend, right, is just Dave Courtney's giant head. So good. Can we make it the episode art for this episode? I think we can. I think it's great. I think it's great. I missed Dave Courtney's summer party last time. But because he doesn't live that far away from me, maybe this time around, I'll drop by and see what it's like in the castle.

Is the party, are you his friend? Is the party for you? It's for everyone. Oh, wow. He invites, he has parties and he just does open invitation, like a teenager on Facebook in 2010. Yeah. It's like open invite. Yeah. All right. All right.

All right. I'm out. It was lovely to see you all. Don't forget, there is a Patreon five bucks a month. You get a second episode every week. Every week. It's ad free. It's not the free one. It's ad free like all the other episodes.

Yeah. So check that out and we'll see you there. Bye, everyone. Bye.