TRASHFUTURE - The Sotadic Zone of Space

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

This week, we're discussing Secret Cinema's plan to crowfund investor capital, the fact that Secret Cinema did a performance in Kabul in 2011, a dumb 'parody' startup, a Tory Lord being criticised for corruption (shocker), our pre-election take on Batley & Spen, and much more. Riley is on a fancy holiday so this episode is a gathering of Milo, Hussein, Nate, and Alice. Hope you enjoy! If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture Please consider donating to charities helping Palestinian people here: https://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/palestine-emergency-appeal/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3oja5NbR8AIVSOmyCh2LdQ9rEAAYAiAAEgKM9PD_BwE and here: https://www.grassrootsalquds.net/ *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello everybody and welcome to this special episode of trash future special because it's the four of us minus Riley and I am in the driver's seat somehow it's the free one try and stop me saying it now Riley where are you on holiday like a bitch what if a guy from Indiana was Canadian I mean the funny thing is our accents are probably pretty close now for a rep are your buds I did not realize that Riley was Canadian until I was editing the show as the producer living in New York probably about three or four episodes in when I heard him say like a boat or something like that and I was like oh okay it's tell because the accent is so close obviously Toronto accent and you know Midwest English is pretty similar

the great escape the Germans catch out the Canadian escapee as he's about to get on the bus by going going out for a rip are your buds oh yeah catching out Canadian by just being like he doesn't sound like he's carrying a gun right now the hell the hell kind of Americans this so of course it's this is basically the the cat is away and the mice will play we're gonna have an episode we're gonna talk about a couple of things and there's like what a decent amount of stuff to talk about to begin with we've got a startup but rather than make you guess what the startup is I'm gonna talk about it because once again we're sort of being trolled but not and also are it's difficult to say we're gonna talk

about startup called post dates which is was created to be a commentary piece apparently about yeah it says a lot about our society yeah exactly it's it's it genuinely is hey get a load of this society you know how I got these do you want to know what the developer says it's a commentary on oh tell me please emotionally charged things people have strong feelings about like relationships gig economy tech startups in general and the fact that people are paying workers to do things like their emotional labor for them corporate social responsibility black lives matter so here's the thing though so the app is actually real in Los Angeles and you can download this app you can make it happen you can down you can

get on it and you can basically hire gig economy workers to go to your ex's place to pick up stuff for you from a breakup so you don't have to do it yourself now I was thrown off because I heard about this and then I went on their website and I went on there about and it I'm reading from the about section it is there about post dates is a fully operational parody of a company that goes by a very similar name okay so postmates post it's got it but fully operational parody when I hear parody I I just there's a part of me of my in my brain that just it's the best kind of parody the kind that just recapitulates the thing that it's parody fully operational parody the Iraq war was a fully operational parody

of desert I mean now we're just doing like Bodria stuff you know yeah I guess to me is just like so your commentary on the gig economy is to more of a gig economy app yeah exactly and be like isn't this fuck like I don't know I mean is to me there's very little difference between like hey get a load of this app that does bad things and like someone making Uber works the exact same thing as Uber but your driver has to be dressed as a mime the entire time like he's not actually touching the wheel it's just a Tesla on autopilot and I mean that they're like their critique of the gig economy that it's stupid is like yeah we know with that's that's the thing that we do this podcast about but like yeah get in line yeah

pretty much don't do our thing but worse by making a fucking app you know I mean or do it but don't be surprised when the only people who respond positively to it are people who got verified because they worked at BuzzFeed in 2014 and everybody else is like what the fuck is wrong with you parody app will change your life oh wait I think I just dissed Hussein I think I sneaked this Hussein sorry Hussein I'm just trying to come up with like a fun little joke about the clown the clown Uber if you had Hussein being Hussein on your bingo card mark that down you get a little clown car rolls up as your Uber yeah well what what it was what I was going what I was going to say I was trying to find every clown Uber

as an Uber pool yeah I was trying to like find a good place to like interject but I wanted to save it like I think the clown Uber where you were in a in a in a hypothetical environment of self-driving cars is like actually probably something that we will be ending up having to like guess on this show anyway because I don't know like you know after after like you have automated traffic you get to that level of automated transport being somewhat feasible you know then the only thing left is like entertainment because every like all this type of gig economy stuff lends itself to benign forms of entertainment anyway so yeah absolutely I think a gig economy job is going to be like doing like making slurs

out of balloons like during a very short trip from one side of city so yeah I was thinking about this a friend of mine his family is originally from Macau but he he was born and raised in New York City and when we were both stationed in Korea together we went and visited his family it was like sweet and go to Hong Kong and Macau for like a four-day weekend and in Macau obviously Macau is kind of a cursed place like it's it's cool but it's also really cursed because the cool stuff there sort of like no that's too shabby it's Chinese yeah they're like that's too shabby and we don't like it we want to we want to get rid of that and we want to get we want to replace it with cool new stuff like endless insane casinos and you know

you go to these casinos and I remember seeing like a middle school trip of like the richest French girls you'd ever seen in your life like imagine being in middle school and they're like we're doing a middle school trip to Macau all chain smoking yeah just just yeah it was grim but there was a part of them of the casino slash mall that emulated Venetian gondolas and they had flown in white dudes to fucking battle fake gondolas and sing in Italian and they were very obviously not Italian I was just sort of like this kind of rules but I'm also seeing my future yeah it's like JD ballard right like yeah yeah incidentally no I found I found an interview with the the post dates guy which has an incredible sentence in it okay we've we've made two parody sites now

the first one was amazon dating and we wanted to take that to the next level and make it experiential it's kind of like watching a black mirror episode but it's your real life crazy black mirror so so so like is this is this kind of I don't I wouldn't I'm thinking about like what kind of parody this is and whether it's sort of like titanium a graph level parody but yeah exactly yeah I don't I don't think it quite is I think it's like in if you have like a Venn diagram like I think it kind of like has a very small intersection it's not quite as like dumb and also like not funny as titanium a graph but it's also just sort of like parodying stuff that is not as stupid as like stuff that already exists and it and again it also doesn't it kind of takes the whole thing

of like it's it's almost like tf season one where it's like you take the piss out of like the startup but like we've gotten to this stage where it's like okay well there's like an underlying logic that's like creating all these types of stuff exactly and that should be and that really is sort of like the butt of a joke that no one of the like interviews with them seem to be like well you know it's it's stupid that like apps are like insanely overvalued and like even profitable when they do stupid things but it's not like going that step further also my other concern with this is that Riley 100% put it in the notes thinking it was real I mean because it was it was getting tweeted about like it was real by a lot of people

and then I went and took a look at it and read in the about section and stuff and found this I mean their description was it says yes it actually works we design post dates to get your stuff back from or send back stuff back to your ex or just someone who you're no longer in direct contact with I love to send the bailiffs around to my ex-girlfriend's house I'm reading this interview that Alice like mentioned and there's one question where but one of the questions is what does it say about startup culture to make a product that you didn't think shouldn't exist and the um the person invents it on uh it made the parody says startups are so so serious there's no humor in it and they think it's gonna last forever

well they're doing the opposite we're gonna make this last a couple of weeks for a limited time only and then we're gonna take it away but we would love to keep doing these and make something where art meets tech meets entertainment so it's sort of like it's not it's not your own dick do you know what it is it's kind of like it's kind of like the people who do the lions led by donkeys um stuff yeah led by donkeys it's stupid not not the lions led by donkeys not jokers in the show which is good i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry it's a good yeah led by donkeys led by donkeys the the twats who put up the stupid door board now i'm pulling out jokers a bian yeah you fucking asshole it's on the site you bitch the second most a podcast i have been

on has offended jokers a bian after when liam said he was albanian i was on that episode sorry you bunker dwelling bitch come come find me i'm very sorry to joke a sabian and the band kassabian um just by extension just in case linda kassabian very sorry for her this guy keeps going on about the albanian genocide i don't know what the fuck he's talking about but like but like yeah i think i think it's very much like they hit on something that could be funny could be parodied is interesting but they like entirely miss the point and like more importantly i think like all these sort of like critiques of dumb startups have been kind like the to the level that they're doing it has kind of already been exhausted i don't know like i've sort of been

rewatching um episodes of silicon valley recently and it's like it's quite remarkable like how good they were at like mocking a lot of these startups during like sure yeah but like that stuff has already been exhausted so again like we have this like they failed to sort of understand what makes something like post-states funny and it's not what they do it's like the fact that you have a startup culture where everything is overvalued but underlining it is like why don't we get poor people to just keep delivering stuff to other people that run similar delivery setups and i think also it's the time old issue of if you make a satire of something it has to be clearly identifiable as satire satire requires a clarity of purpose lest it be confused with etc

that guy yeah yeah exactly what if a swedish man hit me out on this but that's the thing that that requires a lot of clarity of purpose and why you're making fun of swedish and italian men but also if you don't have that clarity of purpose then extremely credulous canadians who are in a hurry to go on holiday might think your company is real what if a canadian man was on holiday well yeah and to me it's like i think the thing that gets me is that there are alice i don't know if you're the person who originated the joke about femboy hooters but to me that's funnier like because it just the idea of a hyper niche hyper specialized thing that requires uh anyone who works there to sort of prostrate themselves in you know to correspond

with some obscene customer service thing that to me is way funnier as a joke than you know uh like when warby parker the the order online eyewear company in america they did a fake website for like glasses for dogs called warby barker and like all right it's kind of funny whatever but like the literally they they retooled their entire website up to the point where you click purchase on the thing and they're like oh no it's fake actually this is again that's such a like buzz feed thing exactly that's why i said earlier that like the people who are like hell yeah there's rules or or you know cheering the people on are all people who got verified because they worked at buzz feed in 2014 and as a result like that that mentality like it's it's kind of goes beyond reddit brain

i don't know it's just it to me it's just i understand what it's trying to parody i share the sentiment that the gig economy sucks and glasses for dogs would be funny yes exactly at femboy hooters is fucking hilarious what if you went to hooters and it was the exact same thing except everyone who worked there was a femboy i would i would find that very funny yeah i mean well we've got we've got the whole constellation of restaurants in that universe now along with like tomboy outback steakhouse yes well i don't have any further comments on uh on this bullshit i'm running this like it's a battlefield update brief i think it's a lot like an episode of black mirror but like in real life i would i would personally love to be in a situation where

i have to get a post-date sky to uh to uh curry all my hentai are from my ex's house to my uh to my to my uh gaming basement to my gaming basement in my parents house i think that'd be very funny i would a guy a guy cycling along with a gaming chair wedged into the uber eight box yeah or just like i don't know like uh yeah just just a guy cycling with one of those baskets on his back in the bus is filled with like um uh blue girl uh yeah yeah he's like he's like very caneer in that episode of years and years he's got like 50 boxes he's got like a body pillow slung over each shoulder and he's just trying to cycle delivery this is this is this is the future that liberals want and i and i'm a liberal that's right well all i can say then is um boo get

better material um that being said off the stage get off the stage you fucking bird um i i was also alerted to the fact that secret cinema is now crowdfunding and trying to get people to invest in their business model now critically i lack a certain degree of context i know through osmosis of being around you all that secret cinema is known to be kind of bad if you're gonna call it a secret cinema you should be allowed to jack off in there so secret secret cinema if you're not familiar is like a sort of um it's a place for cunts to go exactly it was like it's a spin-off of secret gigs and if you know secret gigs that's like a dipshit thing to do is like you do a gig but you don't announce you

know where you're playing it until like a couple yeah you don't want people to come and see you what are you guys to come look at you what are you gay exactly so you do like screenings but they're like um you don't announce them very far in advance and also crucially you do a sort of like theater in the round immersive experiential bullshit thing i went i went to a secret cinema um in in this like woods just off the a4 um and i had to wear a mask and i wasn't allowed to it was a little bit weird just go dogging by accident a screaming a screaming of sallow where it's just dogging well where's the funniest place you could put up a sign saying secrets cinema tonight because i think dogging lay by is up there yeah eyes wide shut themed secret cinema

i think that's a good one yeah i mean engineering like pulling the fucking emergency alarm on a car in the tube and then so the tube train gets stuck and then everyone suddenly has to watch you whip out a battery powered projector and they're like oh not this fucking asshole again uh but i just can't yeah exactly yeah he does this every time mm-hmm keeps happening to me but the thought had crossed my mind that in the past something is well twat centric as a secret cinema would probably be a thing that could attract investor capital yeah whereas this this is like an IPO but less regulated uh presumably you don't have to make any sort of disclosures when you're crowd funding um so yeah it's an interesting approach to equity and i for one think that's good i think

not declaring stuff is good actually and also that there's the sad thing about fucking um secret cinema is that it's not even really a hipster thing anymore it's like a thing that like management consultants who are not from london but have moved here for a graduate scheme do yeah it's like an old hipsters yeah even like young it's like an extremely like a girl you're already bored of talking to on hinge ass thing to go to how many secret cinema things have you been dragged to against your will on this basis i draw the line at secret cinema like i that is if someone asked me to that i'm like no it's one of those things that comes up when like you are really struggling for days ideas um and like when you go on like websites like plan my night or something climb out

or something and you're like yeah they'll kind of like be like oh you know you can go to like a rooftop and go see um a classic film like uh i mean i don't i don't know like what um they tend to do you want to see brazil while clinging to a drainpipe by your fingertips um you know and you get to kind of just like you know sit on a garden chair and have like expensive drinks and stuff like that like it's really just it's a very kind of like typical i know like secret cinema exists and like has existed in other cities too but in the context of london it's very much a type of event that's like very fitted for a city where everything is super expensive um and there isn't actually like a lot of space to anything it like it kind of sits there with like indoor golf where the main

thing isn't to play indoor golf but to get really drunk on expensive drinks uh or like bowling similar thing um and or like i don't know like it's not quite the adult ball pits but it's somewhere like slightly underneath it now he's also like they're shitty to their stuff as the other thing about secret cinema like notoriously so uh i believe tv's abigail thorn has like mentioned secret cinema before and like sort of tentative terms oh yeah we did an episode with her that of trash future about this yeah yeah it's uh not great um and i i do i do for like right of reply purposes i will say that uh when bullying actors is good when it came out that they were you that like they were using unpaid volunteers to staff stuff uh the founder of secret cinema whose name is um

fabian wriggle yeah uh so i'm not going to say anything about that denied these accusations we are a massive employer of performers we run a regulated volunteer scheme that allows people to have experience in secret cinema it's a theatrical experience you could say that all the audience acting whoa whoa we live in a society we live in a society yeah we live in a society and perhaps the real jokers are us yeah fucking waking up from the matrix covered in goo holy shit the matrix was a secret cinema immersive experience yeah i reckon we're really missing a trick but like if we ever get into the events business we should do like um an uh an experience economy thing where you can sit in the matrix pot of goo yeah just like a pot of warm goo

every 75 and it's to sit in a pot of warm goo everything else from the matrix has basically come true except the goo pods that's our marketing the one thing that we won yeah it's like it's like via it's like via um the millhouse dad meme right like uh i sleep in a bed with my wife and i sleep in a pot of goo that's all right yeah well so so i'm reading this website i find it very interesting because uh they there's a lot of copy in here that seems as though it's intended to market it towards their you know enthusiastic audience followed that and so i'm gonna start there's two sections i want to get through they're they're really funny and you kind of cap it off when you learn about like the company the capital investors that they are working with oh is this gonna be

like found like funded by fucking Raytheon or something and then the other the other brands that they invest in which they announced on this page is actually quite funny so they they they they the subhead here is accelerating out of lockdown with global ambitions from 2017 to 2019 our audience troubled and was on track to double again in 2020 whilst lockdown interrupted this it became a period of intense innovation out of which was born opportunity we partnered with netflix to take our london stranger things showed la in a covid safe way this show has been a great success catapulting us to north america and putting our brand on the map as we emerge from a year like no other we're set for global expansion we are primed for growth with an amazing team of creatives cast crew

and commercial brain boxes long-term relationships with all the major studios providing access to the world's best content hell yeah don't don't talk to you for i've had my boxes for the brains in our office doing the movie zone our most exciting slate of shows ever new titles new formats new territories with the backing of active partners investors in some of the uk's most successful consumer brands and they show them the brands are rafa which if you don't know is extensive incredibly expensive cycling gear that they get advertised on instagram soho house oh other play i love they just like we own everything where guns like you might hang out rafa rafa clothes things so how's okay and synergy leon the fast food place that sells

incredibly expensive wraps and salads right finna stare the brand of incredibly expensive jumpers that gets advertised on instagram where you pay like 150 quid for a wool jumper uh honest burgers and uh and then see your cinemas there is the sixth member of this so yes like you say it's a total vertical integration of one guy yeah it is it is absolutely like guy who works in finance or management consulting cycles and is a total twat about you screaming at people while wearing incredibly expensive lycra gear uh is a member of soho house and eats he eats leon on normal days but on his cheat days eats at honest burger and when he's relaxing he puts on his 150 quid finna stare sweater and then he goes to secret cinema on a date

yeah he's got like a fairer watch but he thinks it's a bit too colorful everywhere he goes it's like a fucking enormous video game cursor but comically oversized like a Broadway marquee and it just says this guy is a cunt yeah do you want to buy a you know a hundred and seventy six pound quarter zip fleece because if so have we got the theatrical performance for you oh boy do we have the palo alto for you to live in there there are there are some things in the in the oh fuck they did a secret cinema in Kabul no that is that is genuinely the case in 2011 they did a secret cinema in Kabul would you like to guess what they fucking uh oh my god if they show the Rambo film with the dedication to

the majority did they show the kite runner was it was it bright uh was it it's worse than you can possibly imagine lorence of arabia oh fucking oh yeah yeah get it king you're kidding you're fucking joking secret cinema takes shadowy screenings to afghanistan shadowy screening i guess it kind of had to be secret in afghanistan or it would have been like a serious event well i mean i would say i would say that in 2011 things were slightly different like there were there i don't think it exists anymore but there was an australian there was an australian guy who started a charity in Kabul uh to teach kids how to skateboard oh my god oh my god okay there's two details here detail the first rig was inspired by afghanistan

based artist and organizer of a music festival in Kabul travis beard okay okay famous afghan second of all as with most activities in Kabul security is a factor we're not trying to exclude people but because of the security situation we need to be careful about who's invited to the event beard dressed in costume matching the film the identity of which organizers want to keep see so basically so basically he's dressed as laurice of arabia and talking about i don't know there's certain sorts we need to keep out of this place you haven't seen any moors trying to get in here no those men thought i was a sarcastic and then they fucked me it's me david the deal of arabia no no that doesn't hand me i'm not an afghan this is shoe polish

the frequent frequently asked questions are relatively boilerplate but i want to read the first four to you because one of them is just gonna seem very very out of place and obviously it's a stupid brand name but i find it very funny so the first one what is equity crowdfunding they explain does pre-registering commit me to investing they explain what is crowd cube why am i why am i trapped in this crowd cube yeah i have 20 minutes to move your cube why is this guy been like bisected with cheese water in the crowd have you ever seen the movie cube it's like canadian stuff i love yeah it's so fucking insane oh my god okay well i'm just laughing at the for one i was gonna go into a digression

about the film cube and the fact that like it's got some incredibly rarefied canadian accents it's like the sequel cube to hypercube um oh i've never seen that the the other thing i was gonna say was that um you know who else did this equity thing uh it won like a crowdfunding basis was broodog and broodog did this under the name equity for punks oh yeah hell yeah so this really is just like i want to do an IPO for dickheads yeah yeah yeah exactly i want to do a thing that like terrible people like broodog might be one of the worst companies in britain i think they're so fucking annoying do you remember when they did that beer that was like women got like 30 percent off because of the pay gap or something it's like fuck off shut the fuck it's like a

entirely like stunt based marketing for shit beer while being shit to your employees yeah they once charged i once bought riley a drink in broodog and he and i was like what what drink what drink do you want and he's like i don't know any of the beers and i'm like well just pick one so he just picked one at random and i went up to the bar and ordered a pint of it it was 1180 what it was like some speciality fucking beer or whatever i was like yeah it was yeah it was brood in a very special microclimate niagra on the beer i do like the idea that riley could just throw a dart randomly at any of the beers on tap at broodog and find the most expensive one a bloodhound sense for it the bouncy of the broodog is the birthday boy's reward that is right

that is fucking right yeah i remember reading about this recently because broodog's employees effectively wrote like an open letter to management about some of the just insanely fucked up things they were doing and once again it was it was your garden variety sort of like we're a family and families don't need unions and then just doing union busting shit and treating people like garbage and i do find it very funny because like you said the whole sort of equity for punks thing like co-opting this very sort of anti-authority attitude but then at the same time being just if not shittier than established brands in things like you know chain restaurants and that would be hard in the united kingdom to be for example more of a dick than the guy who

runs weather spoons but like broodog seemed like they're really in contention for that it's like very very similar like small business tyrant kind of thing but like there's a particular kind of like as opposed to like tim martin the the weather spoons guy sort of Brexiteering shit uh like the broodog guys are like it both insisting that they're punks but also more personally megalomaniacal i think tim martin of weather spoons has both the look and the vibe of what if the witos guy was ravaged by alcoholism yeah the fair fair fair point um james mays let himself go so there was a thing about this um basically there's a food company in america that has a similar like they make vegan foods called no evil foods of course anybody who calls their

company no evil foods are going to be dickheads yeah and um they effectively they did a similar thing like going through firing people because they thought they were organizing a union and uh moving their factory if i remember if not mistaken like from ashile north carolina to illinois or something along those lines um laying off a fuckload of people but basically it was it was wild because it's one of these situations where you get this impression that the people involved really believe their own hype if that makes sense they really believe their own marketing i love a lot of bougie vegan shit because it's like let's just say there was no cruelty to animals yeah and i mean this is something that we've talked about before right is that like a lot of

these guys are like con men who have first and most successfully conned themselves uh yeah which is just fucking great that's the sign of like a healthy society and economy and i can't wait to go to secret cinema in sheik jara you know yeah absolutely secret cinema of the line yeah so the point being here uh i am not surprised that secret cinema is doing this because to me at least for one it's that much less capital they have to find from people who actually are gonna you know submit ask questions and submit them to scrutiny yeah and if they do have like you said a huge just sort of following of people who fall for this kind of shit it wouldn't surprise me that they were able to raise a decent amount of money it's like it's like if tesla needed

you know liquidity on their balance sheet they could probably get every fucking idiot fanboy just give them money oh they kind of did that anyway when they were like letting guys buy cars with bitcoin and then like their cars just weren't showing up ever like it was just a big big big joke across the board secret cinema logan's run everyone has to come as a twink hey i mean that that actually might be a decent way of parodying it of doing a trash future live show where we just do bad things i feel like i'm gonna be doing this twink to attend the trash future live show that's right it's also it's it's it's being held in mizari sure if we're gonna fucking by one yeah that's right we're doing it in don bass so

as i hear people are calling it forgive me for uh for having to read headlines from one of britain's shitty tabloids even if it is uh not insanely right wing tabloid it's the mirror the notional left-wing tabloid uh that is oftentimes also insane yeah left-wing bass basically yeah if you've ever tweeted hashtag socialist sunday and gotten really racist for some reason you probably read the mirror under fire health ministers 27 covid meetings went undeclared for more than a year according to them lord bethel did not declare a weeks worth of meetings at least nine of which were with firms who later obtained millions of pounds worth of covid contracts huh so i'll just read health minister is facing calls to be sacked after meetings with firms

which were awarded covid contracts worth than more than worth more than one billion pounds went undeclared for a year lord bethel whose name is basically if you misspelled my surname is already under fire over claim no it's it was me i hear you have information that will lead to the arrest of not boss lord bethel of romford oh hell yeah yeah baby he's barren bethel of romford in the county of essex wow now you might say to yourself ah that's that's like a life peer right that's like a regular guy named bethel from romford and then they've made him appear and then you know they've given him like uh somewhere that's where he's from right no hereditary peerage started in uh fucking 1861

the earl of fucking romford there you go the earl of romford uh harrow and university of edinburgh incidentally and managed ministry of sound oh no way it's this guy it's this guy that was that was the big reveal i was gonna get i wanted to get to but yes uh according to this article he's already under fire over claims he used a personal email account to discuss covid contracts because folks just be doing that he also faces more questions after it emerged he sponsored a parliament security pass for jenna cold angelo mac hancock's mistress now it has emerged he failed to declare 27 meetings in april last year nine of which were nine of which were with companies that later benefited from government covet 19 funding deputy labor leader angela reyner called for lord bethel to be sacked

she says lord bethel must be sacked immediately this racket must end now conservative minister so can you do in the angelo reyner voice though that is that that's like asking me to do a rubik's cube on the spot i gotta be honest with you like i can try but it's gonna be a fucking mess do anyone even i've not got dialed in reyner how does she sound reyner oh that's very very manchester yeah manchester yeah that's that's the thing is we we should like we should like call in we should get abigail thorn to cut us a promo of her doing angelo reyner and then we can just like put that in the episode uh conservative ministers think that there's one rule for them and another for the rest of us and the sense of seeds coming from the government is overpowering or johnson has

already showed he lacks leadership qualities required for prime minister by fault failing to sack matt hancock blah blah blah blah all right what a who cares um however the list includes meetings with nine companies abingdon health surescreen diagnostics limited novus site the bbi group oxford nanopore technologies chamber the clinical laboratories optogen these are just syllables i've got an important meeting with the bbw group sorry i mean the bbi group cgi health care bbw poc uh yeah bbc and a further one called cga cig a health care which later benefited from government covet 19 funding in total deals signs and giant ass is health why have you had 29 undeclared meetings with the mylf health care

yeah they run by the morrow islamic liberation frame i'm still laughing at oxford nanopore technology so we're going to shrink your pores to the smallest they can humanly be that's a laboratory garniation yeah that's what they did to fucking prince andrew exactly they did so successfully as well now that mfg was like his skin got fucking laminated yeah he was like experimentally laminated before being sent to the forefront it is easy for a camel to fit through the pools of prince andrew then for a nonce to go to pizza express walking but then also there's a there's another one called una health and like it's not an acronym it's just una it's like i was at school with her

but uh in total deals signed with firms lord bethle met just that week are valued at more than one billion pounds further firm quantum mdx later received 11 million in funding that's a graphics card yeah it's fucking motor oil that that's like absolutely different different fucking societies there that i go to graphics card and you go to like motor oil yeah gaming well i do like that idea that yeah this it's a health firm and it's because they're running an app to like outsource nhs services but it's powered on like a million thirty eighties and so it's just like no we just needed all this money to buy all the graphics cards on the market presently they're not used for exactly exactly

they've they've driven the price up anyway the thing about it is i'm laughing because once again it's also the ministry of sound guy friends of this show will perhaps have picked up on the fact that when we created the character of richard heismith to write the the parody song about uh pay call me dr e um it was based on this guy like the idea of the tori guy who's in who's incredibly corrupt and insane friends with insane people but also like deeply implicated in the culture industry in the uk is just it's a kind of thing it's hard to believe i know well it's weird because like that kind of guy is rarer in america in the sense that the only real analog i can think of is when you have like people who are serious tv executives or like the ceo of fucking soul

cycle and they're like big-time trump supporters because in america you have the east coast west coast pedophile divide right you got your hollywood pedophiles and then you put east and seaboard pedophiles and they're both controlled by climate right it's a different satanic zone jeez it's fucking crap because they don't mix i know i i i i i absolutely love that you brought up the the thing that you can only learn if you've gone down the deepest of wikipedia rabbit holes that the british one time in like premium phrenology mode hypothesized there were such a thing as the satanic zone which is like between these uh longitude or latitudes non-slatitude they're literally non-sing latitudes they're like uh when it gets too hot non-sing just becomes endemic in

order to explain why all of these like civil servants who like went to india suddenly started non-sing everyone around them they went uh it's because the heat makes you and non-s that's why there's no nonces in britain and they're never exactly other than in very hot summers um yeah so yeah you have like this is why global warming is like an existential national security threat that's probably that's probably how you can probably like you could get like a bunch of like british people to imagine savel in a mediterranean climate you could probably you could probably get like a bunch of like british basses who like would never give up their like four cars and uh big truck for some reason if you told them that if you like um cut down your emissions there will

be less noncing it's a it's a big country thing i think going back to i mean because that's the way the american sports leagues work is what you got your east coast and your west coast i think that basically like uh you got your east coast and your west coast pedophiles and then every year they should have like a pedophile super bowl so they're like the best the best nonces from both leagues sort of meet up for a kind of like a adjudicated noncing contest and then they all get given a ring god damn it i don't know stole that guy's noncing ring chad move there's no noncing in russia is too cool i i was thinking about what nate said and like i do know so this isn't like a government thing but i do know that in kent for example there are a lot of um

like the people who own like the nightclubs in various areas of northwest kent are also like tori counselors or like people who are like supporters of the tori like of the tori party around here um they have like a lot of kind of different business ventures um like quite big business ventures um so even in kind of like even on like a local level the tori that is somehow like has a monopoly over the very limited amount of youth culture available is certainly like an archetype yeah well i mean in this case basically the government's response was oh yeah no worries we forgot to file this it's been corrected no harm done and when confronted about the whole email thing it's like eh well we've told our ministers they can you know use any method of communication

they want and it's like it's very obvious that the email thing is to avoid freedom of information act and that kind of a thing like it's it's meant to avoid any kind of oversight and i do find it very funny because there's a lot of kind of you know no one there's no rule this is a dog can play basketball about this yeah it's like a lot of the people really want to to start like tutting about decorum and it's like these people have already demonstrated they don't give a fuck about this shit like they are openly corrupt and they they encourage each other to be corrupt and you have rewarded them can i derail us entirely yeah let's do it so i was on i've disappeared down a wikipedia hall again because i was reading about lord bethol and his predecessor in in that current uh job

was like a an elected hereditary pit minister for sound i have i have found a fucking guy right and i just i simply want to read you the first sentence of this guy's wikipedia okay major thomas robin valerian dixon third baron glenn torren cbe born 21st of april 1935 is a former british bobsledder and northern irish politician and former conservative party shadow minister for the olympics wow this is the best country in the world valerian brit anglo anglo irish poshos are such a fascinating breed it's like that fucking that fucking vandalor family who were like involved in um operation market garden and there was like there were two guys who were both irish guards officers who were both like in critical roles in the operation who were both

called vandalor because like they were fucking cousins he got he got leave from the grenadier guards to go bobsled at the 64 winter olympics yeah love that for him yeah dudes are on also man chap was loading the front of his sled with children quite an unorthodox tactic well what gets me about it too is that i feel as though if you're a labor peer or you're a senior labor figure you have this coterie of the most venal and amoral and just you know almost apolitically corrupt shitheads that are also really really incompetent yeah like you you know all of the dumbest fucking people in british politics all of the most dead eyed fucking fish skinned people who have been involved in you know labor students or whatever the fuck since they were in university

who have been like ever since like fucking the ability to screenshot has existed in windows have been screenshotting their peers so saving a file on them so they can dime them out and then they can become the king of the shithead but if you're in the equivalent in the tory party you know so many fucking weird guys you know like like just the bizarre eccentric derange like you just said anglo irish pier who was a bobsledder and is probably implicated in like several transnational nonsing rings we cannot say it's actually the case that's so much more fun the tory weird guys like they're so like yeah like you say like the labor party is just full of so many just like boring psychos whereas like the tories have like interesting

nut jobs like guys who are just like incredible eccentrics who are just like yeah i i've bought like a ranch in cambodia on which i do stuff well yeah but yeah well one of the things that i think is like during this sort of like labor government years there was this real emphasis on like a certain kind of like managerial bureaucrat or like the kind of consultant class and they really sort of like filled up labor party um whereas i know i guess like the tories have always had this kind of streak of like eccentrics that have gravitated towards them but have also just kind of been able because they've been just allowed to get away with so much i think they can a lot of them like can afford to be eccentrics in the way that i guess like your average labor supporter or like activist or aspiring

mp like just can't yeah of course this doesn't go for 10 hour 10 instagram body luke curse too we all enjoy well i was thinking about this too because invariably this will happen whenever there's some like minor you know call it pastoral scandal in a way like some niche regional interest thing happens like tory guy has to step down tory lord has to step down from some position because you know he technically is not allowed to be like you know the chairman of some trust as well as like the chairman or on the board of some private company that's involved in the trust's business that kind of a thing and then when he resigns or whatever or he apologizes they post like his parliamentary photo and it looks like you like an easter island statue and the bully

from toy story had a fucking child just the weirdest faces and you're like that that doesn't happen in nature under normal circumstances no like i mean there is currently or was very recently a house of lord scandal right where um three peers refuse to do mandatory diversity training and like decided to like make a like last stand against it so i will never learn i will never take the like 45 minute treating your employees with respect course because it's treasonous what gets me about that is that no i mean my outsider take on british politics is that none of the people who are doing it like because they have to actually give a fuck about that no there are perhaps a handful of people in a few parties who

are genuinely committed to not running abusive workplaces but everyone i know who's worked in british politics has said like actually everyone is a fucking asshole and they treat people like shit and like none even even by the incredibly low bar of the standards of british workplaces in the the non-governmental sector oh yeah no one normal goes into politics they're all fucking freaks none of these people would be allowed to keep their jobs but basically they they're the ones in charge of investigating themselves and so like that's you know that that abusive culture basically creates this environment in which like everyone's just pencil whipping that shit they're not actually fucking they don't care and so it just makes me i mean it literally

like in america you have at least some some hilarious examples of this like what's her name uh the the the governor of minnesota who whose name who got made into the weird diaper vor fucking meme that those freaks were sharing i can't remember her name anymore like my brain is soup i don't know i'm not joking there was a governor of michigan she was running to be or not in michigan minnesota she was running to be president she didn't do very well i'm forgetting her name because i'm tired she was famous for uh getting mad at an intern and throwing a stapler at them one time she was like in a meeting at some time in clobachar yes thank you all right Amy clobachar uh she also was famous for um getting really mad because they didn't get utensils

from uh she was really famous for DMing Alice i wish they didn't have um utensils when they got her a salad for for like her dinner and so she's like fucking just took a comb out of her purse and ate a salad with a comb normal normal stuff weird fans of her made and i'm not joking like a diaper vor cannibalism fetish cartoon of her uh that involved her um wearing a diaper and eating a cartoon Ivanka trump and then pooping her out um i'm not joking anyway that's the kind of you know deranged american politician but i feel like the level of if not an equivalent level of physical abuse although i'm pretty sure there is but certainly like you know call it emotional abuse seems to be a just like really screaming at people a hundred percent like that's just like

normal that's how you show uh like you you're interested in something is by like screaming at somebody for four hours and also i think it's kind of gone worse i mean like i feel like the millennial generation of politicians are going to be sort of even more annoying because if i imagine getting fucking cry bullied by some uh some fucking tumblr kid who is an mp now i can tell you basically having met some student politics people at um at one of those universities that we have in the united kingdom the student Tories were like yeah one of the one of the one of the two one of those two um all of the student Tories were um like suits to lecture wankers right and all of the all of the student labor people were luke a cast that those are the

two kinds of people who go into politics in this country and they all suck fucked yeah yeah and and yeah and it's going to suck for like one of the like a bunch of them are just going to come from the university of your yeah so for american listeners or people outside the united kingdom a couple of things you have to understand about uh famous labor dipshit luke a cursed he's about my age he looks about 20 years older than me very balding not bald yet but balding hmm legally we can't say that he's bald but he is unimpeachably balding he he he works for an organization called we believe in israel that is just constantly posting like sub-blake faith blake flayton shit like just absolute i believe in it it's it's real um he also is famous

for saying that he was a huge proponent of nuclear weapons and that in the case of a conflict nuclear weapons could be deployed as a show of force measure that you would pick an isolated part of the country and just nuke it to show you were serious that's right this guy is on the national executive council of the labor party yeah i'm not kidding and he unfortunately has been growing an influence because like he of course positioned himself as sort of like i hate jeremy corbin and i'm always crying growing steadily redder and bolder and more powerful exactly and so that that kind of guy is the kind of person who uh is yeah in on the his his put it this way kind of on the ascent in the labor party the dumb party for idiots that we don't talk about except when we talk about

it uh speaking of which well this episode is being recorded and we don't know what the future is going to hold there's a by-election in battalion span so i want to get i want to get you guys's takes on this guys being gender neutral here of course to me so so the picture that i want to paint of battalion span is the following battalion span was a constituency in yorkshire i've lived in this country all my life i didn't know where that was until just now it's one of its basically it's your metropolitan elite yeah sorry i'm a patronizing southerner i believe that its mp labor mp won the metro yorkshire mayoralty and so she because she won that position she can no longer be the mp for battalion span so she uh they have to have a by-election

battalion span was a constituency that joe cox represented joe cox was a labor politician who was murdered in the run-up to the vote on the brexit referendum by a far-right fascist who came up to her on the street and shot her and then stabbed her and said britain first death to traitors um and she didn't die immediately she died incredibly painfully like it's a horrible story this happened about nine seven days before the the vote and then of course the vote was for brexit well yeah we're now we're now we're now like you know the whole thing is um if if uh that kia starmer should be uh courting the votes of joe cox's murder yeah yeah everything that has happened since has been like pandering to that guy in his cell more or less effectively the labor party

has decided to stand as its candidate uh in the spy election a woman named uh kim ledbeater who is joe cox's sister now she what she has not you didn't know that no i did not know that no there's just that's kind of like the well like waving the bloody shirt thing right do you think do you think domestic terrorism and political murder are bad well if so you should you should vote for us even if you don't agree with our policies because i presume on principle it's her name pronounced led better i'm gonna guess based on but yeah led better led beater i don't know how do you say it but yeah led better so so it's so named because like 500 years ago one guy was like hey that guy's beating the shit out of that left he's really good at it yeah led beater what the

cop should be allowed to do the kids that chew it from school i mean the thing is right like it's not to not to like deny kim ledbeater's agency in this or anything but it feels really i can't help but feel a little bit like it's a sort of a really cynical move on the part of the labor party to be like hey do you remember when your local mp got murdered um what if we replaced her with her sister right that's basically the same right the divine right of labor and peace well pretty much and the thing too is that she was they suspended party rules in order to make her the parliamentary candidate she was on a on a short list of one they were she was just ordained by national headquarters so it what's going to happen in my opinion is see okay to continue painting the

scene you think you have to realize is they have put the sister of the woman who was murdered by a fascist as their candidate in an election however two things are happening that are making luke cursed sad right now yeah i have a drop for one of them number one is that for all of the smug dumb bullshit that like britain's rotundus dads love to say about like well i'm sure that palestine comes up on the doorstep every time jeremy corbin palestine is actually coming up on the doorstep because battalion spend is back 25 percent muslim and muslim voters in that constituency by and large voted labor but a lot of them are like what the fuck is wrong with you also a lot of them are british kejmeris and labor has completely advocated on having any position on the military

occupation of cash him led better is like now having to scramble to put out leaflets about how she is going to be your candidate for cashmere and for palestine and everybody can see through that she's i love that zeppelin it's in the name so uh that's point number one is that point number two yeah is is is one of the worst people in britain has showed up to write which way which fun clubbing slut oh of course yes that guy george galloway george galloway now if you're not familiar with george galloway i feel as though we should get it off to youtube right now and type in george galloway cat yeah pause the fucking podcast this is not optional pause the podcast go to youtube he was the original cat boy but doesn't get any attention um because now

all the cat boys are twins yeah that's right and and george galloway is a fantastic example of like much as how like the entire blairite program of like moderate social democracy was totally incinerated by iraq sort of the inverse of that like you can do as much fucked up shit as you want you will still have a lot of credit with a lot of people if you were right about the iraq war being a bad idea george galloway was right about the iraq war being a bad idea for deeply cynical reasons and as such that's burnished his credentials for the intervening 20 years george galloway as i understand it also was one of the heads of the stop the war coalition in 2003 he however the best way i can describe his politics is that he's sort of left wing when he wants to be in right wing

when he wants to be but always authoritarian yeah he's like he's like a british perone but shit he's very transphobic uh i get the impression that he'd probably be pretty casually homophobic if the situation is very he's very islamophobic he um most notably humza yusuf the s&p justice secretary uh who he was like well you know he's not scottish like i'm scottish kind of thing on twitter so yeah he's a dickhead but a lot of a lot of people do still believe that like he's more of a like known quantity than uh than like the labor party which is going to do less than nothing he's a known quantity of actual shit yes he he was an mp once like an independent mp wasn't he he was a labor mp he was like a he was like an old labor mp wasn't he the mp for best nor

green yep best nor green and oh i think and then trash each a fucking constituency baby yeah yeah yeah and then uh like in the aftermath of the stop the war coalition having failed to stop the war he started a like a party called respect which was like nominally left wing and kind of like uh but like mostly anti islamophobia which again has has like stored up some credit for him but like since then it's been like a sort of the wilderness years he's a huge bastard from what i can tell but he's running he just recently ran unsuccessfully for a seat i believe in scotland with alba which was like a right-wing scottish nationalist party and now he's running sort of gamments notionally from the left on a cute get cure starmer out uh you know free palestine position now galloway

is a jackass but galloway also is going to where voters are and saying the shit that he's been saying for a long time about uh the occupation of palestine and the fact that the labor party fucking sucks if you if you're not nerds like us right if you if you kind of like pay attention to politics in the way that most people do george galloway has sort of like wandered out of your attention sort of in the aftermath of the iraq war uh when he was saying there are no weapons of mass destruction saddam Hussein and al qaeda were not allied to each other this is going to be a massive foreign policy disaster has disappeared while he was doing all of the other terrible shit and has now sort of wandered back into the the edge of your field of vision saying the same

things at times quite convincingly and i think you know okay but he's not going to like necessarily peel off that many votes but enough that it's a serious concern for the labor party yeah at present the polling looks like labor is going to lose by something like five or six points one poll i think had them eight down uh we'll find out soon and we're recording it the day of the by-election so we'll know the results tomorrow the thing about galloway is he's a true fucking chaos demon he's like the caroline callaway of politics like no one really understands what he wants like what his deal is like he and that's what makes him so dangerous he's he's the dang joker and i mean also we're going to see whether or not like the thing that's being pushed around in the

press the thing that's being briefed is if the labor party lose this by-election then it's knives out for sakeeth starmo whether or not that's actually true whether because like one thing we've learned is that the labor party and the labor right specifically are hopeless at coups and they're terrible at plotting them uh so like there may just be a period where like nothing happens there may be a period where like six people trip over their own dicks at once or possibly like i don't know andy bernum is going to seize control of the radio station i welcome the he is he is encouraged the conspirators to go further and actually do one so i was going to say i wanted to ask you a question because the one of the things that i've been seeing in the british media is that

always anonymous labor sources are are saying well the reason why we're down in batley and spen is because keer starmer has been so aggressive in combating anti-semitism now he's done nothing yeah that was yeah that was like a line that was tried he's done fucking nothing you have to understand they have done absolutely nothing actual and we've talked about it with the labor leaks about what the the crisis in labor was and how it was a thing that was they were literally sitting on substantiated claims of holocaust denial from labor members because they were devoting money and time and resources to what they called trot hunting so the labor parties a fucking joke and they don't actually they don't give a fuck and they never gave a fuck it was a

factional weapon to to silence the left and to give the the the the most boring home counties lib dem dads in the world a moral justification for their anti-left politics however what they're saying now is that uh because batley and spen has a significant muslim population that if they don't win it means that muslims are anti-semitic and they won't vote for labor because labor is combating anti-semitism which is fucking horseshit but it's what it's what keer starmer thinks the tori voters who will never vote for him want to hear you have to do anti-semitism or is lamaphobia that's the choice you gotta do one yeah you can't do both unless you're a very skilled politician i was gonna say i mean well we have done anti-semitism and islamophobia like

yeah absolutely so the saying i was just gonna ask because there is a significant population of of gujarati muslim british gujarati muslims in batley and spen as well as british kejmeri muslims and i'm i'm interested in your take because it does sort of seem like you know people from a community that you're a part of in the uk are their labor is basically salivating about being able to blame them if they lose yeah i mean like i've never i don't know like the batley and spen community and like i would i also like i'm gujarati but like in the south so my the general thing about like gujaratis in the south is that they are like fairly middle class and a lot of them are tori voters anyway and they've been tori voters for a long time

so i don't know whether that's like true in batley and spen i wouldn't be surprised if it was so like and and this is and this is the thing that i've been thinking about a bit which is like if the tori is like win the sea uh tonight or like well whenever this like comes out um like doesn't that sort of like transfer on like this the starman narrative of like um you know because you'll need like a bunch of them will probably vote tori and even um even when that galloway like video came out where you had like a bunch of um supporters who had come from or like you had people coming from birmingham um who were not part of the community to basically say like just vote anyone except labor and like you know we don't support the labor party because of what

they do in like kashmir and like you know um there were like several other things which weren't necessarily representative of what i think the community over there like sees as its concerns but i do think that there's there's also this like broader thing too of like you can't really separate the fact that you know uh during like the corbin years like they were very good at like um they were very good at attracting like muslim support in a much more unified way than like other labor leaders because of like the anti-war sentiment and because like the iraq war and crucially everything that happened after the iraq war in the uk in regards to like prevents and stuff like how that really did affect the commute like affect muslims in the uk like

in quite a profound way with the effects that still sort of exist today and like there is still a lot of anger towards the labor party which even during the corbin years like you know there were a lot of muslims who basically said i'm not voting for labor like ever again i don't care who the leader is and stuff like that and this is stuff that like a lot of commentators um columnists and stuff like that just like don't really they'd never really put any effort into sort of understanding that so the idea of like because how would you turn that against jeremy corbin? exactly it was a point in understanding it if it's not about jeremy. exactly like it's very it's very dehumanizing um but it's also just like these columnists like who we're sort of referring

to and they're sort of and they're like abject supporters they have the narrative and like ultimately and some of them have even said this very directly that like the purpose of the starmer project isn't really to like win any seats or to like you know even leaving like do well in an election it's to kind of get rid of the left but it's a very perverse like um you know he may have lost the election but uh he won he won in the battle of ideas except like his ideas are what like just getting rid of the you know and that's the thing like a lot of you know they view the purpose of a label leader to just like get rid of as much of like what's left of momentum as possible so like they'll be very very forgiving of him in a way that like they never were listen you you on the

left with your ideological purity you're not prepared for the adult politics of getting up out of hustings and saying calmly to the voters you are anti-semitic yeah and the thing i would say too is that the one time that a labor leader uh during a general election bucked the trend of declining labor votes since the iraq war was 2017 oh who is leader then oh this guy no one talks about him anymore in smith and nobody the thing that gets me about it is like there was a coalition at the time of voters and the labor right has seen that it is their role to destroy that coalition as much as possible because ultimately it doesn't matter if labor wins or not they have a job and they are still you know fucking rubbing one out to neil kinnick speeches and like no one even

fucking cares anymore no one cares jeremy corbin used this very unfair and underhanded trick to win over the support of muslim voters which was not telling them that they're all a bunch of anti-semites and like we could all do that if we were moral cowards but some of us have the courage to stand up and say every single muslim hates jews that's right and if you're not prepared to say that why are you in politics yeah that's the thing right like you could be being facetious or you could be fucking serious like this country man jesus christ um well that being said i feel like we've come a long way here we have definitive proof that riley got punked by a fake app yeah uh we have definitive proof that secret cinema and cobble secret cinema was in cobble uh we have definitive proof that the

guy from secret cinema was dressed up as lorenzor radi answering questions to the press saying that he didn't want to let in the wrong sort of people we have definitive proof that labor is still going on like what they believe is an effective line of sleaze against uh in my head i've got an amazing picture of you nate as a us army officer having to do door security for secret cinema and cobble using that fucking like retina scanning camera or whatever the fuck they gave you that was like ibn oh the bad hide yeah yeah yeah fucking hell yeah well we also have proof that they're gonna go they're still trying the sleaze line like reyner even said sleaze in her statement and no one cares because uh the to me at least and perhaps the the rest of you will agree or disagree one of the

byproducts of the moral compromise that these fuckheads made to basically go all in to sink the corbin coalition is they have forfeit in my mind the right to complain about corruption because they knew exactly what they were doing and they're like that's worth it to me and so now it's just the fucking it's just the pigs from angry birds fucking making making derisive grunts and eating from the corruption trough and they can't complain about it they have no right to complain fuck you you did it to yourselves and the thing about it is it's just like what really hurts yeah yeah well it sucks for us because we have to live in hell uh and it just keeps getting worse and worse every day but to me at least like seeing all this play out you realize how empty of any real ideas

they are and i think the the the bloody standard of like well you you you wouldn't vote against the sister of someone who was murdered in this constituency would you like that to me just oh oh they might oh fuck actually now now net you've just made me i've had an epiphany which is the star marite coalition in the labor party they all of their policy and the way they address people has the exact intonation of the you wouldn't steal a car cinema ad you wouldn't you wouldn't vote for the for the tories would you piracy funds terrorism exactly yeah piracy funds anti-semitism fucking christ home anyway killing music well they might win our kids would absolutely prosecute someone for home taping a cd well you know what that's the thing you're right they might

win we'll see we'll find out but uh it's coming home it's coming home it's come oh no when it might have to go to penalties that'll be exciting well that being said um we have we have managed to pilot this ship plane vessel craft of some sort durable durable good year blimp that's in london for some reason motorbike across carball yeah tonda motorbike on we we've pilot we've piloted the ship as well as they pilot the spaceship in the new fast and furious movie a scene which does exist they do go to space i've got to see that um i've just been thinking about that for the whole day like they go to space they go to space wait they go to space and then the newest fast and furious movie yes they go to there they drive

there it takes a little bit longer but it is cheaper was that like elon musk paying a lot of i don't know i'm gonna like i'm gonna see if i can find the scene but i think not only do they go to space but they do like a funky i don't need oxygen i got family i think they take a car to space and they do like as they they do a they do a car trick in space awesome you know what no we're not letting you end this podcast i can't fucking i can't talk about the guys in fast and furious we're gonna do docking at some point but yeah yeah well you know what it's a it's a shame but hopefully paul walker is staring down at them from somewhere in space that's they're gonna do like in 2001 space odyssey thing like they go through the obelisk and then they're like having

a weird like celestial tea party with paul walker paul walker has been like posthumously converted to Mormonism and looks down upon us from colob paul walker tells them hey don't worry this this ship's been missing for a few years and it may have been a research vessel to create a black hole but there's nothing bad on it so don't worry at all about boarding the ship and definitely watch the videos you think the labor party's gonna lose the uh the uss louis and clark violin do you think labor knows that where they're going they don't need eyes to see george galloway floating through his face sponk loving slots batley in space i do think i do think that would be very very funny like yeah if there if there was if there was british politics in space somehow george galloway

would get there to just annoy people oh yeah chris williamson would show up it'll be there british british generation ship that's only politicians the worst thing i can imagine yeah deep space nonce what's the satanic zone of the solar system the closer to the sun you get venus is just turbo noncing it's like it's like the kite it's like the kiter belt of asteroids but it's just like it's like an asteroid belt where nancing happens that's what the great filter is that's why there's no alien civilizations is because as you become a spacefaring civilization you get more nonce until you nonce yourself out of all right well every single one of us on this recording has our own podcast aside from trash

u shirt that's why i have what a hell of a way to die uh mylo yeah please you have please check our masters of our domain the podcast we do that's like i can't explain the show it's a fun show it's a comedy show where we talk about seinfeld but not really it's mostly a comedy show the seinfeld like if you like seinfeld you might get something out of it extra but like mostly it's a show that anyone could enjoy nate's been on it ass has been on it hessane's been on it hey even riley's been on that fucking guy so check that out and of course alice you have numerous other shows as well i have well there's your problem if you like engineering disasters and i have kill james bond with friends of the show abigail thorn and devon produced by me of course produced by you of course everything is

fucking in house and we also bathe extended universe now featuring george galloway floating through it yeah i imagine george galloway trying to rebrand his show do his famous line into a podcast about like mindfulness called life loving slots or something along those lines hessane you've uh you've also got some show yeah i have yeah i have a podcast called mindfulness slots um no it's called it's called ten thousand posts uh it's a show about posting uh in posters brain uh yeah it's it's a good show you should listen to it you should milk loving cat george galloway of the warrior the new podcast uh fucking christ well thank you again we're never gonna end the episode you can sing well as many times as you want we're gonna add a new thing that's fine

that's fine do do what you want if you want to you always keep riffing you want to make this ball as our speedboat you want everyone on the show to piss themselves because they haven't pissed for 90 minutes or if they have been missing they have secret fucking catheters that i don't know about welcome to the omarashi podcast secret catheters i'm just i'm just also laughing about george galloway like reading down a list of weird like porn advert phrasings do you think we could get george galloway as you think we could like pay him enough to read the cock and ball torture george galloway cameo win cock and ball torture is an act during which the testicles

the cock and balls of ulster thank you everyone for listening catch us on the patreon uh a couple of days from now and we will talk to you later bye bye