TRASHFUTURE - The Wetherspoons App Is The Highest Stage of Capitalism ft. Mark Watson

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

This week, Riley (@raaleh), Hussein (@HKesvani), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum ) speak with comedian and writer Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) about the Adam Smith Institute’s newest declaration: the that Wetherspoons app is the pinnacle of human achievement. Did you know that you can order peas to anyone, at any table at any Wetherspoons pub in Britain? Oh wait, publicly-owned buildings? Never mind those, get the damn peas. You can access Mark Watson’s Comedy Marathon here -- listen to it all: https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Mark-Watsons-Comedy-Marathon-Audiobook/B07P1BJTZR?qid=1551347792&sr=1-7&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_7&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=J6Z81A174WT7M4TTCYAQ& Please bear in mind that your favourite moron lads have a Patreon now. You too can support us here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture/overview — and if you do, you’ll gain access to our Discord server, where you can talk about soup with us all day. *COMEDY KLAXON*: On March 27 at 8pm, Milo will host another Smoke Comedy at the Sekforde (34 Sekforde Street London EC1R 0HA). This show costs £5 and will feature all new material from duo Moon, our own beloved Olga Koch (@rocknrolga ), Michael Capozzola, and Patrick Spicer. Buy tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/smoke-comedy-featuring-moon-tickets-58000795942 Also: you can commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from http://www.lilcomrade.com/, and what’s more, it’s mandatory if you want to be taken seriously. Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

I'm recording now who's saying do we have we got you? Yes, at least for now. Anyway, okay You want to get yelled at by an editor? Uh, kind of, but I think it'll be all right. Okay. Um, all right. Awesome Okay, so now that I'm done. I've I've have the beer pointing at me properly I won't I'm unlikely to drink it wrong again for a second time. Please take it away Literally just just just whatever you were gonna describe and we'll cut in before you describe it because it's a cold open Then we'll introduce everybody well, so I did this 26 hour long show for charity and

Over the course of a show that long you do go through quite a lot of Ups and downs psychologically and also physically and there was a bit about it wasn't even halfway It was like 10 hours in where I was feeling Just quite rough like sick ill It happens a lot in these things because you're just you don't eat properly and you don't kind of look after yourself and It did occur to me that And this is a Situation that performance find themselves in but this is an extreme example

It occurred to me that I went to the toilet and I thought everyone is just there kind of someone else is on stage They could cope for a few minutes But there were 16 hours still to go and there'd been so much build up to this and I Had the thought if I just left the building now Like without even saying anything And I've got the people that have traveled there from long distances There were people that a lot was at stake really and it was a charity event But nonetheless, I had this thought that if I left, you know, it would be hours before anyone tracked me down and

People would fill for a while, but then eventually be a point It would be the worst thing a performer could possibly do basically, but since you have that feeling It's intoxicating as soon as you think wow, I could just normally get it in like in a in a normal Theatre-length show you're not gonna leave but in a charity event in a marathon event There is the feeling that you could just you could just disappear and it would be I could probably go to Scotland before anyone knew And Welcome back again to this let's say a normal normal length normal length episode of trash future that podcast that you subscribe to We are here today in studio. I'm Riley. You may remember me from most previous episodes of this podcast joined by Hussein

Nate hello back again special guest and comedy marathon runner Mark Watson first time for me. So a range of experience in the room. Yeah Indeed Mark is if you are sort of some of our more American audience members You will you would he is a man who sort of keeps going on television to perform tasks Mainly it's a task from the task taskmaster or Bear grills or or other other various people Have you been asked if you would lie to someone? If I would lie to someone have you been have you been have you been on what I lie to you? Yeah, it's funny you mentioned it. I was I was so long ago that I almost had forgotten it

But about nine years ago. I did go and I've only been on the one episode And well the answer was I would I would like to them within the context of the game Yeah, it's weird hearing your career describe that but there's no doubt it basically is As you say a series of tasks. I more or less just for someone that considers themselves like it an artist Person that creates things I do basically just do what I'm asked to do In a range of situations when it comes to high when it comes to sort of hiding the pineapple Or are the other very what it was what what what are some other of the tasks at the master might ask? I've I recall noting hiding the pineapple sort of going in and getting something

Oh, there are all kinds of things you might have to do in taskmaster. Yeah, like making a flick book or How far can you get this coconut to leave this building in the next half an hour or? writing a song Making a model like the the demands on you are Quite intense and on ones, you know one level it is a TV show But at the same time it is also just an examination of how capable your eyes are human. Yeah So in a sense it is it's it's the ultimate. It's it's the ultimate capitalist show. It really is. It's what are you worth? Yeah, and also it's capitalist in the sense that the value of everything you do is pretty much completely arbitrarily

Determined by one consumer Greg Davis who punishes you or treats you as he sees fit Yeah, in a way taskmaster bulls down the business we're all in which is desperately trying to prove that there's some merit to your to your humanity Yeah, that's not the official strap line, but that is basically what the show is here. I am. This is what I can do Is it good enough and and and Alice who is not? Taskmaster yet is also on on the call not in the room though. That's still in Glasgow Not having done taskmaster, but I have done a workplace capacity assessment. So basically the same thing So before we all get our our additional sort of fitness for work described by Greg Davis I Have a startup for us

It is It's it's I think it might be one of the it's very simple But I think it might be one of the best ones that we have to have yet done. It's called bottomless Is this just grinder? Just re-branding is called Bottomless, okay, so who say he's running is really confident He looks really comfortable. It's an escape room, right? But it's an escape room built on one of the circles of hell in Dante's Inferno

But you can only get in the extended edition. Okay in the Dante's extended universe Director's cut. Yeah, in the director in in the in the James Snyder secret cart of Dante's Inferno But is it like 15 circles? They all look really good. There's one circle of hell you can only get into if you press a while running at a certain wall And in that circle, you can't get out to his bottomless, right? Exactly. No, fuck who's saying just Also, you get also you get like bottomless Marguerite. So it's a very London thing. Okay. All right Who's saying that's close enough that I feel like I can advance the next thing one element of it one element of it was close enough Or is it a beverage?

No, it's actually I don't I because I you I find these off my going on tech crunch I went on tech crunch and I found out hell is real who knew Okay, I guess I feel like bottomless almost never gets described unless it's you know Like a consumer marketing way unless it's describing a like a beverage drink. Yeah, so it's blank Automatically restocked using a smart blank soap Is it? Is it actually? I'm not gonna answer that

He looks so nervous though that implies though when he says bottomless like you would be see you'd see the bottom if it exists It otherwise, so if it's bottomless soap, are you drinking the soap? Yeah, no, I think I think I said soup Yes soup excuse me and it's it's so just drink a big bowl of soap on the lips Thing I'm sure someone has done. Oh, yeah All it would take is for like the Environmental Protection Agency to say don't drink soap and they would immediately go over it Yeah, they feel you can't tell me what to do. I'm gonna give myself back. I'm gonna make my own bowels fall out. Yeah There's a if I within the within the trash future mythos Alice you are correct It is soup automatically restocked using a smart blank. I'm sorry go back and cut that I didn't mean to like

Yeah, not much of a game this way. Yeah, don't worry. We've still look that's the least funny part That's just leave the blank on the blank and we'll take care of the rest How does that work leave the cup on some sort of counter? Yeah, that's that's a that's some juicero logic right there. I leave the cups. It seems right. Yeah, so you're gonna have the soup in Okay, well, you know what I have a lot of content. We don't have a lot of time for guessing cuz I'm just gonna jump right into it It is coffee automatically restocked using a smart scale Was about soup, but it's not where coffee. It's coffee grounds, right? Correct, right? No beans beans and it doesn't like it because coffee makers already exist obviously doesn't like do that

It just no it tells when you're out of the grounds Correct, so it's like an like a scale and it's like a smart scale or something that's connected to the internet And so like when it gets below a certain threshold it automatically orders a refill So it's bottomless in the sense that you never run out of coffee. It's a kind of yeah grimly effective thing It's like pushing Amazon button. Yes. Yes. It's like a little dash button and then having one of those dipping birds Yeah Absolutely, it is a Wi-Fi connected scale designed to deliver fresh coffee at the right time So the company's platform

Facilitates users to sync with the scale to sit right to sync their phone with the scale Leave the coffee bags as per their requirements Enabling individuals to get freshly roasted beans instead of stale coffee I keep trying to jump in on this because it's like okay So it's a it's a dash button with a little dipping bird that presses it every so often But that also is linked to your phone and is on the internet of things or whatever and is presumably like a zombie computer That's like doing denial of service attacks for the I don't know Serbian internet army or something More or less. Yeah, that won't be in their blood probably but no the Serbian things not that I mean it's silent

It's it's heavily implied Tremendous though, that's amazing Yeah, so it but I actually went into because the designers of this actually posted a medium on article about just exactly how much work went in to making us a scale Because usually what does the scale look like it's a it's a thin black scale And usually when I want to tell how much coffee I have left I Look you're one of these you're one of these like web 1.0 people that uses their eyes. Yeah, you're one of these eye fetishists Yeah, so it's they basically spent a lot of time trying to 3d print a functional prototype

Converted half their only one bedroom flat there now in y-combinator So it's okay to make fun of them because they're going about to be like Massively rich because of this thing that they've done to like supply fresh coffee to their Seattle friends They deserve to be that rich if they've sold this problem of not knowing how much coffee you have without looking Yeah, I mean look because the problem is and even then it's it's not even you think about what problem It's really solving. It's like as I actually have an app on my phone where I can order coffee with a with a button It's I have a good relationship with it. What they're doing is they're not saving you going to the store And they're not even saving you ordering what they're doing is saving

For the benefit of the listener I mined looking and pushing a button So I like the idea that you know the initial sort of capitalist success would be you know Like a wheel or a car or something that would like save you a lot of labor But now it's like you're paying an almost equivalent price for something that saves you two finger pushes Like thinking to is this right and thinking one is so just like ordering your coffee Thinking three is just carrying around an IV stand full of it Yeah, it's always refilled by drone. Yeah, even drinking the coffee is a bit of an effort, isn't it? It's it go you have to take it from here here to

Yeah, I've been drinking this beer and it's the process is pissing me off physically Like I'd love it if an app was able to take care of that to be out What if there was just a robot that could drink the beer for me and then tell you how happy you felt relative to the start of the Yeah, it's like you could gradually you now feel I mean, it's it's it's like a placebo effect But as I I as I always say is it is the Q&A's of these that are always incredible So how does how does how does it work? Sync sync the scale with your Wi-Fi network once then leave your coffee bag on it The scale then learns from your consumption and reorders coffee from you at the right time

So don't have people over Don't get stressed and drink more than usual consume coffee at an absolutely predictable rate. Yeah, the steady rate Yeah, oh and if you forget to put the bag on the scale Presumably it will just keep ordering until there's a heavier weight. I mean, I'm sure that they've they've programmed that out But I mean, it's got to you have people over but then I'll have coffee You have to explain to them able to stir up the algorithm To do the Indiana Jones thing of like swapping the idol with a bag of coffee. Yeah No, it's great

It turns in your entire house into the the opening scene of the Raiders of the Lost Ark Where if you move anything then it will trigger a series of commercial outcomes. Yeah, good bankrupt you Here coffee not coffee actually Well, it's Lord help you if you have this for tea Otherwise you're and what if you don't want coffee one day then it'll be presumably be thrown further out of whack Yeah, it's what what strikes me about products like these and this one's so simple I don't have much content around but what really strikes me is the extent to which They've been like, okay

Well now now we have to program in a thing that what if you drink a little more than usual or what if you forget to put it On the thing we have to have a failsafe for that and oh, it's got to be machine learning So it's got to get better at anticipating when you could possibly want coffee so that we can save huh I'm just what the thing that stresses me out about the machine learning is you know how Facebook sometimes knows stuff about you that you Don't like oh, yeah, women will get like ads for pregnancy stuff without knowing they're pregnant because the algorithm does It I want this to like figure out something that in your life that is going to go wrong That is going to like stress you out and make you drink more coffee before you know

And you'll just have this horrible omen of this thing pouring you like it's just ordered me like a six Fucking bags of coffee for this morning. So I'm getting all this coffee is everything. Okay This is you just look at you leave you to you sort of start sending exploratory messages to your boss I mean, what would be what would be really bad as if like some mischievous barista It's a mischievous barista who may or may not have studied at all as our university Before coming back to becoming before coming back to the West to fulfill his dream of becoming a coffee salesman Was making sure that white people were not getting enough coffee Too much

Making them too much too more much more powerful highly highly caffeinated Saracens It's gonna be like my coffee brand In the same vein as like all these military coffee companies It's anticipatory and depending on how good you've been it sends you coffee or it sends you something entirely different Um, what I thought this is the the final the final I can't believe I ordered I can't believe I had an automated coffee service, but for some reason I now have the fifth and final mysterious IRA Box that got lost Do you guys see that tweet? Oh, well, they lost one of the bombs didn't they yeah, it's still in the post

It's still in the posted systems. Oh, no, no keeping up with my Amazon tracking You got an Amazon dash button to the IRA. Yeah, you just you order something. You're just like, wait, why is it in? Why is it in Cumbria? That's why it's just sitting in a depot just waiting for some poor Amazon drone to like They often won't give it to you unless you got the right idea and now I know this is frustrating if it's a bomb Well, as you can tell you here by the ticking I have a very limited time to clean this back. Please give me this quick So in the long run, they say we plan to sell more than coffee the market Sentences awesome the market for stuff that people buy over and over again several hundred billion

I mean, they're right people buying stuff is one of the biggest markets there is But in the next paragraph it just turns into capital volume one talking about exchange value They really answer something with this idea of selling a commodity that people want to buy repeatedly yes, I mean someone should tell Everyone Someone should tell marks There's the commodity value exchange value use value all of these things Yeah, the market for stuff that people buy repeatedly is several hundred billion Yeah, it's hard to argue with that kind of economics

It's it's it's right, but completely Unrelevant in a sense right this way to think of them in a meeting room going Imagine if we just repeated these sold stuff to people we have their money over and over again Yeah, we wouldn't have to re Get it. We wouldn't have to come up with a new product every single time every day Okay coffee that was yesterday's thing Listen, we can sell coffee two days running Possibly more than two if we could see we hope to make a significant amount of grocery shopping obsolete

Ah Yeah, I mean, okay fine You can sort of see what they mean, which is if you have it Yeah, if you have it at the measured your consumption of almost everything you buy from the grocery store then you could just But people are already doing supermarket shops online like yeah And and you don't have to sort of do it weirdly passively where if you want to say get more coffee You're like, okay, I want them to send more so I better drink double the amount for the next seven days Because you know my cousin Janice is coming over. Yeah, most of us would rather just just make the purchase online rather than hinting

We love it folks don't we don't we love it? So anyway, that's that's bottomless. Are we all ready to invest in what appears to be a Scale well, I mean the pound pound is currently tanking, right? Wait, is it? Yeah, that's the time So I have some litecoin Maybe that I don't know maybe very into that. Okay. Well actually we dinos we should note that we are we're recording this whilst Sort of out of the UK is either being saved or destroyed. I'm not entirely sure It depends on what side of the model cinematic universe you're on. Yeah So I'm gonna just I'm gonna queue here Theresa May's trafied on our Brexit deal losing by 230

The pound is not gonna be any more valuable tomorrow morning. So yeah, let's go for this This stash it all in these guys in these guys. I think it's safer Maybe it's just like a very clever like rationing service that the government are trying to like So like all of a sudden like this has been Matt Hancock's like plan the whole time Less coffee every time No, it's just the algorithm. He's got this like plan to kind of Revolutionize grocery shopping or like revolutionize like basic human nutrition Through apps where like you gradually get less and less but because you order on a call app. It's more of like a lifestyle

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, it's so I'm what I'd like to do is I'd like to put in an opportunity here to say because this is coming out on Tuesday Um, so in between now and when this is edited What's happened with Brexit is more or less Well, the deal failed and we're not leaving without a deal But we're also not renegotiating the deal and we can't vote on a deal the third time because it's fundamentally unchanged so I have no idea and What you should do as a result of it is I mean as a part of me It's like maybe you should make sure you have enough medication and all the things you need is like food stuff, etc

But I mean that's also assuming that your GP is even able to give you additional medication because this country is run by the Tories Yeah, you covered you really welcome it. Wow. Wow, Nate. Thank you very informative and helpful I hope we're all going to enjoy that weird painting that somebody made as What's supposed to be an insult to Jeremy Corbin and it just randomly features the star of David a woman with enormous boobs Hitting him in the head with her boobs from behind Jerry Adams Someone else because I don't know anything about Irish politics It's an amazing painting. I just don't understand what the fuck it's supposed to mean

So Milo, you were here the entire time. I absolutely was yeah, I'm completely abreast of all the issues What did you think of the product we talked or start up we talked about? I thought it was great I've already invested all of my savings, which is three pounds The conclusion we came to the world Really, it's pure coincidence. Yeah, we happen to have come to identical conclusions Oh Any case so the next the next thing I'd like to go into because like the collapse imminent either collapse or rescue of British society by Someone or something or somewhere is sort of immaterial for us obviously because we're in a basement in Whitechapel

Is to talk about an article from the Adam Smith Institute those guys They love rationing coffee If it's if it's based on an app the Adam Smith Institute loves it. God. They love apps Yeah, they're like the Matt Hancock of institutes They have released a new app not a new app They've never I don't think they've released an app as much as their enthusiasts. They're not practitioners They're any you can't use an app with an invisible hand. That's the problem Um, they've released an article entitled the weather spoons app is the pinnacle of human progress

Huge claim. Yeah, just hard to agree. Let's move on. David need to read the article Why are you even writing an article about whom could disagree? I mean as soon as the weather spoons app came out I mean Francis Fukuyama took back his is his panning was like nope Actually, I was right about the end of history. Everything was leading to this. There's no more struggle This is we are now living in a kind of the nihilistic world of the last man And we all sort of just have to wait to die because humanity's great historic mission has been lived out I can get a beer without standing. Yeah, like all but you've recently found out about the weather spoons app

And he was like, that's why I had to end the Soviet Union State capital of the Soviet Union could never have created something like the weather spoons app, you know oddly Oddly enough Milo and Alice that argument comes up towards the end of this article It's been too long of a day for this I want to hear which of quotes is here. Oh hell yeah If you was once in a pizza advert, so you know all bets are off through the Soviet Union could never come up with something like dark fruits If you haven't already good starts the article stop whatever you're doing Download the weather spoons app right now and proceed to your nearest spoons

You can then sit down at a table and without the nuisance of lining up at the bar. Also. He said lining up at the bar Skewing surely like a dancing situation lining up at the bar order food and drinks delivery for your table It's all so simple and convenient It's just table service Most restaurants have an analog version of this. Yeah, that's right. Also like McDonald's has this Like you go to McDonald's you can use one of those screen of these consoles. Yeah, and like you can get your food Yeah, this is why we need to keep on with the same economic policies We've had so it's about the nineteen sort of seventies eighties

You know the thatcher really she saw the future. He was like what I need to do is unleash innovation Yeah, and so we can have if you had a waiter, but it was actually your phone Because you have anxiety it's perfect. Yeah, so it's what if John Pador it's was an anime tanky basically But it's it's weird because it seems like they're in love with smartphones They don't realize it's the smartphone because every time a smartphone lets them do a completely banal thing They're like Joseph Stalin could never and it's like but yeah But I mean all it is is just it's bringing you food the same way that you asked a human or if you pushed a button on like a Clunky old like, you know walkie-talkie intercom

Well, as Gorka said like Stalin dreamed about taking away Americans hamburgers Specifically it was that yeah, tell you what if you could denounce your neighbor for having a filio fish using just an app USSR already has very few vowels I mean, I'm doing the thing again that I frequently do but there is a Champagne bar in London that has a little button and if you push the button they bring you champagne. Oh, yeah, I've seen that Cartoon about the capitalists So you you can even use it it goes on to test your online popularity Just tweet your location and table number on Twitter and wait till the Prosecco starts arriving

However, there are no guarantees on this front You might just get a bowl of peas and a child-sized glass of milk Okay, someone at the Adams with Institute tried this Fucking peas again The market of the wisdom is so the wisdom of the market is so opaque What should I do with these peas Lord? Why is that brought me these peas these green balls of devilishness? You could really sort of connect this sort of back up to the bottomless thing or is you sit down at a

Bar and sort of they just crowdsource your order and then you just sort of get what you get and it's better And your merit as a person has judged by other people. Yeah, what are your merit? What you've gotten in the past sort of baby some kind of Wi-Fi connected You know the Chinese social credit score thing British post-Brexit Britain our version of that will have the social credit score through the weather spoons app That's it. It's like you're going to a weather spoons and you'll think I hope I've done enough this week Yeah The lowest rung of society of people who only order Long Island ice teas and it's like no those are those are the underclass

It's just a ruddles and a pitcher of woo-woo again It's another ruddles week The Politburo in there for a wisdom have decided that's another week of ruddles and thin grills Just tell me what I've got to do Brexit coasters Yeah, there's a lot of talk he goes on from various Corbynistas these days about how the market is failing how technology is ruining lives And why the economy should be brought into a quote-unquote democratic control through nationalization Yeah, don't know why anyone could come to those conclusions. No because with this one. We've got the

We got the peas and and the and the anticipatory coffee and and so on really we don't even have to even make the single-person Democratic choice of what I get this is becoming like very like Trump Trump anecdote that doesn't go anywhere like very like Talk about market Stalinism again, but like Yeah, you're right people say people say Melania is not real they say the market's bad But look you go into the weather spoons app you post about it you get peas they bring you peas You gotta drink you press the button the champagne comes people in Arizona. They degree. Okay next question The weather spoons app has been very unfair to him The small

Maybe experiences except at the New York Times Christmas party Which was very poorly attended and you know you you're half the guess as to why the failing you Which has been very unfair to me by the way tremendous What this miss is is the democracy inherent in the free market system in a planned economy Only some can win those with the most power and influence to decide how scarce resources are used I love the idea that the winners in capitalism know they're winning because they can order through Famous It's

It's it's it's like no one has shown them Charles Koch's idiot son with his big fat guy Hawaiian shirt company that will never ever fail ever Because it adds a billionaire. Yeah, can you wear those shots to the boardroom the disco take it and the weather spoons? And to denounce your neighbor Yeah Mr. Korsakov it's peas for you At least Vasili Stalin didn't have like a line of jumpsuits But didn't he coach a hockey team I saw that and they all got killed and playing crash

Yeah, did he coach Putin at hockey is that there's that the many? Yeah, so as I love that they're like well in a planned economy only those the most power and influence get to decide over Careless resources are used whereas in this one. It's not because this one's not planned It just sort of emerges like Athena springing from the head of Zeus just to fulfill all human desires I've I've I've editorialized the Greek elements. I'd be really surprised if I put that in yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously You know crawling from the car bunkered ass of Zeus The weather spoons app is that part of the Dionysian irrationality It's it's those things don't understand that all economies are planned. It's just the question is who's

Planning them and I have a reactionary tweet which is that I pissed off none of these people believe in God anymore Because they used to be able to say this shit with a straight face and be all yes It's this way because God made it this way now. They're all like with the innovation democracy Yeah, exactly. It's like Jeff be no one at Amazon decided to make a wrist bracelet that would shock you if you are about to Pick out the wrong thing. It's just the market sort of produced it from the earth Jeff Bezos has the mandate of heaven and we should support him in that Wait, he's like Charlemagne

The market system it goes on is democratic you purchase products that fulfill your desires producers respond to our purchases By the Purdue again the producers are just sort of abstract Here they're just there. They're no workers are involved in this by the way No, and no worker and none of your wrote none of your relationship with this process obviously Decides what happens. I mean, it's mostly just scales and app AI and then just things happen To you your passive basically. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course Thanks of stats. Yeah, you're you're mostly a collection of stats that are there to be interpreted by your phone or your scale Oh wait, we're only you get a card

I mean that is really effectively what this app is right it's kind of How much based on your power level is do you get peas or do you get beer? Okay, so as far as like as far as I know because I've seen I haven't ever used the weather spoons up I have kind of seen kind of twist the things about it and Everyone's kind of like oh My friend is kind of getting married or like something like that or like, you know Something good has happened if you want to order like wine to our table here's like, yeah, whether thing use that's kind of how they use it So it's sort of like oh through like technology people are buying each other food and alcohol

That seems to kind of be like the revolutionary impetus that the Adam Smith Institute kind of epitomizes the weather spoons app as being And then the other thing is like, oh, well, you know, if you're you know It's it's a place where you can be mentally ill or like autistic or something and you'll feel just at home And my thinking behind that is that well, okay, like people accept you Yeah, well, you know, we have podcasts like also like You know what they've really ignored and what they've deliberately ignored is the fact that well What this really is is kind of like weather spoons has basically become like the most democratized space I don't want to say public space but like a democratized space in

Towns and cities where public space is becoming or has basically become like scarce to like nothing, right? You know, so one thing I said when I saw this story was like well What you're saying is that the revolutionary like this this app is revolutionary Because it's doing things that like community centers or public libraries or like just these public Buildings used to do but can't do anymore because they can't because councils are selling the buildings off So it someone replies to me saying oh, well libraries don't serve food. They don't serve pies and Books, isn't it mostly? That's when I logged off and deleted my account because I had truly been owned and that person was in fact Titty Anna McGrath

All of us in the end are beaten by them. Well, like yeah facts and logic, right? And this was really what this is really what it is because like at the core of it Like the weather spoons app is really just like any other food app, right? It's like the same as like if you were going to order a pizza You could order a pizza from an app and you could choose all your toppings you could decide what size you want You can even like have those apps where if they deliver a pizza to you We have to like write a message on the pizza And you can you can say we can write whatever message you want, right? Yeah for me

That's revolutionary because it means I can just get them to kind of, you know, right? Let me introduce a little bit of dialectics here though. Yeah, if I can if I can spice it up with some dialectics Is weather spoons tends to take over formerly sort of more democratized spaces where more people could go for less money So they tend to take over old community centers or even like old community theaters and all of these other old Formerly sort of public or low-cost buildings and then turn them into this business and the second thing is that really the other thing That is that app ignores it's as though it's almost treating it like a Star Trek replicator where it's like Yeah, your friend can hit a button and then poof some peas appear in front of you But really what it's what actually is doing is it's then compelling a bunch of workers to then labor, right?

It's it's like there's this whole setup of there's whole infrastructure of labor and they say Oh, yeah, there's this wonderful infrastructure of technology in the internet, etc But really all it's doing and all any disruptive product really does is just sort of Find a new way to get labor to do what you want at a lower cost to yourself And it's very telling the Adam Smith Institute looks at something like the weather spoons app And it's just sort of with its mouth like half open and chewing on a gigantic like piece of like hay is just like oh Good, I guess this is though. This is the pinnacle of civilization It just forgets that there's like labor and space appropriation

Yeah, they're goofy now. Yeah, they're goofy. Sorry. I really wanted to pay attention to that But just in my head was just going where the spoons is a little old place where we order a piece for strangers That's the level I'm on right now Wherever you think about it imagine that plate of peas when it comes What peas now it's like those people who see Jesus in toast like They see they see the sort of the pinnacle of all human innovation in A plate of peas that's bought for you as a prank by an internet stranger, right? And I mean that's that's also what it is, right?

It's kind of like you have to be performative in order to kind of get your goodies, right? Yeah, you know, so you have to be someone who has like a big amount like a large amount of followers or You know, you have to like have an influencer basically say this guy is starving and it'd be really great If like you bought him some food, you know subscribe to my channel all that stuff, right? And the Adam Smith Institute love that shit because for them it's like oh, this is just like, you know The big the big sharing economy the volume, you know the voluntary economy shows how good everyone is You know, it shows that we don't really need like a welfare state. We don't need like public buildings We don't like need these things in our community to send each other peace

We just send each other peas. We live in a big society Captain hat wait not captain haddock. That's that's the guy from from Tintin. Yeah captain bird's eye captain bird's eye for prime minister In my opinion captain haddock for prime minister because in the patreon me discord I do regularly say that he could hit these back walls So no central planner the article goes on would ever have thought to create the weather spoon app I was right Never have created Tetris This is my defense of soviet state capital now is can you make Tetris with it? Of course not

So we should just just go back to the communist party of the Russian Federation and just help them like take care of it It's it's two apps Tetris or weather spoons and which one do you want? Those are the two genders right here? My favorite fact about weather spoons is that the guy who founded weather spoons Tim Whatever who looks like it looks like kind of like fat version of like Rick crossed with James May from Top Gear That's what he's going for. No, he's a Gladwell. He is He's I think he's chaotic evil Gladwell, okay chaotic evil. Gladwell will go that Who named it JD weather spoon after a teacher at school who told him he'd never amount to anything?

And it's technically true that he did amount to something but just that something was like a massive colossal cunt Like so is that really an achievement? Like you really rub it in your fellow? Oh, yeah, everyone who works for me hates me sucks to be you JD weather You're named after the most evil company in Britain So also, it's like yeah, no central planner would ever thought to create a weather spoon app Probably because it doesn't serve it. It doesn't serve a basic human need Yeah, central planners aren't thinking about ways that peas community should be you know Yeah

Take peas away from the Ukraine Equal opportunity offenders the tank is a good tanky keyboard. It's heating up everywhere Everyone was already mad at me for calling it state capitalism, but after this Understand the Soviet Union Went without a hitch not a single hit everything was perfect all those dogs came back from space They were example of a really successful start, but that's why everyone's so envious of them Maybe a bit quieter for a bit afterwards They saw a lot of shit up there

So the the article concludes how can we measure the entertainment value provided by Netflix the social connections strengthened and created by Facebook? Or time saved by Google searches How can how can we measure the benefit provided to the public by the weather spoons app? These are thousands of free and low-cost services that are making our lives better Well, hang on since since the weather spoons app, how many people have googled Frank Sinatra in the n-word? To me is the only Well, so it's like It basically just saying well your data is not valuable so it's free and they're doing it because they're nice

So I would it's the whole thing is completely incoherent. Yeah, he's a nice bloke Yeah, he likes paying his staff the absolute minimum I find that to be the most trustworthy thing in a multi-millionaire. I find that I'm sure he loves it tomorrow He just loves it and it's a big stretch to say this making our lives better as well, isn't it because the best that can happen is Someone just sends you peace basically I said like it doesn't it doesn't give you access to some food that you didn't previously have or anything It's just like at the very least it just enables you to not leave your table when ordering Which makes your life better in a tiny way I suppose but they've invented a restaurant

It's very odd and then everyone's going like this is that the Soviet Union could never have invented a restaurant Fucking weird though like Join the all-Union brunch club Tuesdays portion night sniff this pickled radish Before taking a shot of something with methanol in it I'd really I'd really look I'd really be keen on like the Soviet weather spoons and like the business lunch What what's what sort of propaganda leaflets would they force their employees to hand out there though? Cuz I mean like obviously where the spoons here was forcing people to like hand out the Brexit leaflets So what would it be in the what would the Brexit equivalent be in the Soviet Union like we should do more so if it's

The Americans whose boss there'd be a dish that you could only which was a trap that would show that you were revolutionary yeah, like like if you got it like in the Simpsons It's like there's up there's in the do they go to Japan episode homers like the toilet recommended a place called America town And there's something like that perhaps I love the idea that the Soviet weather spoons menu would be like like borscht she some dumplings like really really like the salt of The earth food and there's this like the comedy like champagne and oysters option, and if you ordered that Guys, let's be honest. I would get said straight to the gulag. I'm not gonna live past the London that you push for more champagne, but if you push it a guy comes out the back and shoot you in the head

Yeah, fortunately he's using a macrob so he injures only himself But here's the thing right there's a yes there no one could ever have done this intentionally is I think the argument of the Adam Smith Institute it took a series of incredible Coincidences to bring about everything that's good about the world that there could and even them that no compromises were made and it's all Free Facebook gives you all your friends, and that's free. It's never you know influenced an election for example, you know No one had friends before Facebook the Soviet Union couldn't have produced the concept of friend There's been no human attraction until then. Yeah, absolutely not. This reminds me a little Joey Trippianov I think not just reminds me of when we talked about Steven Pinker

And he seemed to genuinely believe that they invented the concept of thinking and like the 1750s or so when the French Enlightenment sort of really kicked off and he's like well no one thought before then and it's just like that No, the Romans just let stuff happen to them No central planner made this right like it wasn't a committed a committee that would have done this Did they is that the implication there that the I forget his name, but the weather spoons guy mr. Where the Brian Tim Martin Did he make this by himself? Did he have this idea or was there at some point like a committee involved in it? But that doesn't count as bureaucratic. Yeah, but also

Martin is like God On the sixth day he created the weather spoons app on the seventh day he rested But it's gonna be there's gonna be a movie in the next couple of years Which is gonna be like the social network but for about the weather spoons app You can't make a million parts without making some enemies and like Like Tim Martin will probably be played by It'll just we're really say yeah, I can do I suppose yeah Relish getting the haircut

God, he loves to fuck with his hair Tim. I'm like truly has the 18th century like enlightenment philosopher haircut But on the body of like a medieval king We'll be someone like really ridiculous. We'll be like Bradley Cooper playing Tim Martin What if I had some pubs I mean in many ways in many ways like her her like the movie her with walkie and phoenix Is very much like the spiritual predecessor of the weather spoons Well, it's it's a spiritual predecessor of the Adam Smith Institute with what if a guy fell in love with an app? Yeah, seems to be their main thing. Don't you see that? He's just really happy

Well, this is this is sort of where I'll close this section out which is to recommend the book The People's Republic of Walmart on verso, which is basically says look Walmart it's an excruble company But they are an example of a globe bestriding planned economy where everything happens exactly right exactly on time It's completely optimized within an inch of its life It's just it happens to be delivering what the walton family wants it to deliver And they have the power to make it deliver So it's like yes, actually a series of powerful planned economies do exist

It's just we have the one where we get the weather spoons app and the waltons have the one where they get to like You know crash planes into each other for fun and and this other stuff Or their dumbass kids get to like do a perform do performance art or design shirts or whatever We believe passionately in guns for children By the way, this gun has a princess on it But like if you listen to the anti-union videos, they pull the whole You wouldn't want to unionize because we're a family and a family takes care of things together You know

Oh man Let me see a family make an app Yeah, for example Anyway, um, you can't move to florida. This is a family. You can't just This is now this actually ended up sort of if we if we count the first thing as an app Which I think we sort of can just sync to your phone with one This is kind of like an like an like an app special where we're sort of just talking about the most There's sort of not the most unimportant nonsense, but it's really getting there

Um of some of what's going on. Well, I must add the country is either falling apart or being saved or muddling through or something Um, but we're going we're going to press on because I have one more I'd like to discuss in what is what is really becoming sort of an app apocalypse Which I suppose could really be the title of the episode the Soviet Union could never have come up with a title like that They wouldn't speak English as well There is one restaurant chain that has been able to kind of get the app down really well And is really revolutionary and that place is called comet pizza Again with this

It's it's well, they had a lot of investment VIP members club. They had an excellent They had a lot of investment from some Epstein guy So it's some kind of aviation fellow. I'm not really sure um All right, so, um, this is the this is the last on our grand grand tour of of apps The free app scene was just doing make-hoish for kids. They really wanted to go on a private check Um, the american conservatives now have an app called 63 red safe. What what's with that name? I don't what's the 63 red

I think what that's meant to sound like is what a quarterback would call a play when playing football That's the dumbest thing that sounds like I mean just to me as as the only actual sounds. Yeah, it sounds sounds sort of Sort of I guess I guess football, but they all did football's anti for now. So I don't think they like it This phrase has been like Bruce Madeline for Riley. He's just like it has an air of So remember I used to live in yeah, never mind you guys talk about yourself. I'm gonna slip into a red house number 63 I'm gonna slip into a I'm gonna slip into a reverie for about sort of seven thousand or so pages And I'll join you again sort of well, I'm gonna admit. I didn't actually finish The novelization of the podcast

It's going to page one of all our shares to tom pair do now and read sort of the first four But then feel like really proust writing style starts to drag in the middle and just sort of quit I had a huge epiphany about the past while eating this giant bowl of peas that someone sent me Recent past yeah, so Um, essentially this is and I'm taking here from an article on the daily beast by will summer Who's one of the best sort of reliable commentators? On the far right in the united states A new yelp style app is giving ratings on whether restaurants and other businesses

Are trump friendly Yeah, everyone loves yelp yelp style is good. Yeah. Yeah yelp style is great I know but yelp is particularly appropriate for a certain kind of like american who wants to scream about terrible service Like yelp is the app for calling the manager when you don't have the courage to call the manager Isn't it just like isn't my just like a directory of like like various obbies and also the uh troop restaurant mission grill Right. Yeah, that's owned by troops and is in honor of the troops mission grill. Oh, no, it's true After nine after nine eleven, they were like we need to do this operations grill. We need a troop theme restaurant It's what they have one and i'm it's very mega friendly the military very famous for having good food

Yeah, they're because they're hungry because they're always fighting these wars and stuff I know they need they need to get fed Everybody's just staring at me Yes, i was in the army fucking christ these prisoners. We've taken a so malnourished. I need a burger Oh, man. I'm so hungry after all that killing I also had some corn on the cob Yeah, if only if only someone sort of could put all the enemies on a scale And then I get when they get big enough then I could have an auto auto shoot

Hours of controlling a drone have made me too tired to go to the bar in order I mean isn't isn't it just like this is reminds me of like paul joseph watson's Everything reminds you of paul joseph watson Recent restaurant adventure When Did we speak about this on the last episode? I don't I don't think we did I press a little button on the back of my head whenever we finish recording and I forget everything we say So here's what i'm interested in with like conservatives right and mrs. Conservatives that are in america and also in the uk

Which is that they really like high dining, but they like they want to say that they hate the culture of it, right? So like paul joseph watson for example, he I don't know where he was, but he went to this like he went to like a restaurant in austin texas in his hotel Yeah, it was like the fancy restaurant attached to his hotel. He can never leave the building. He's sleeping He does have some good points In case in case muslims get him in the same way as batman did with the chinese guy in the dark night. Oh, absolute Many muslims have their technology He's right to be careful

So so so he so he goes to this restaurant, which is like quite a fancy like hipster restaurant Where they serve, you know, serve small portions on small plates and put lots of like purees around things etc, right? Um, you know, and you kind of know what you're getting and you kind of know what you're getting into when you go to these places Um, you know, these are places that like we'll serve you food on bits of words I'm going to liles next week. Yeah, you you you really love that shit. I love that shit. I love that shit so much Danny before you go to the gulag Um, but he just like he tweeted this whole like thing about how like every dish that he ordered just enraged him So as a result, he decided to troll the waitress

By ordering what was called on the menu the kid candy bar the king candy bar I imagine her shock when I ordered something from the menu Which he wasn't expecting that but king candy bar was about like 20 dollars And it was he took a picture of it. It's like one of the most depressing meals I've seen It's like this Hershey's chocolate bar, which kind of looks like a bit old Like a bit warm and just like various kind of like splodges of ice cream around it And then the restaurant as I recall had to had to close after that Because that's the influence he has

But it also arises like you know, you know the adam smith guys like they go to like really fancy restaurants as well Um, lots of conservatives love taking like taking pictures of themselves at like what's that called? Like, uh, is it called hawks more the place where you go get some duck and waffle? They love they love duck and waffle So they love these like they love these kind of like grand places Um But oh so many liberal lefties here, right? Yeah. Yeah decor suits them and the sense of uh They're they say they're socialists, but they're eating Right checkmate lips. I also was just gonna say that Milo doing paul joseph watson in like a languishier accent

Sounds like the darkest version of dinner date ever That's all this was We only got one side. Well, I love does it paul joseph watson complained that the portion sizes were really small Yeah, how is this meant to fill up a man that's been working all day? I love how much he opened himself up to the own there I as a youtuber who owns the map would know of course all about working all day. I've worked so hard today This isn't enough food. I just like I imagine so much shock Or my shock had to be imagined at the heads of millions

And nobody nobody goes to these restaurants looking for that though Like nobody goes to alanaya to eat a like foam that reminds you of the seashore that's like, you know Super heated in the middle and like dipped in liquid nitrogen on the outside and then think Yeah, well if I've been digging ditches all day, this is really not gonna fill me up What I was trying to get out was that all these videos because like this is all come I imagined from like videos that like right-wing reactionaries upload onto twitter and youtube and stuff which is like Oh, I walked into a fast-food restaurant wearing a mega hat and I said a few slurs to the cashier And I only was carrying two guns right and for some reason he told me to get out of this establishment

This is a very anti-trump establishment. This is the new holocaust Yeah, this is I'm being persecuted So what this really is is like a list of restaurants where you're where you can say slurs because all the staff are white Yeah Or or in the case of like or somewhere like, um Or in the course of lots of these places where the staff might not be white But the management is and so they'll fire the non-white staff if they object to you saying slurs, right? Yeah, so really that's the way the way they code this is we want to find non political restaurants

where restaurants where there are no politics where in fact 63 red safe works like a conservative yelp instead of reviewing the lighting and ambiance though The sites users write restaurants in other places of businesses on a series of four questions Would we like to hear the question on a scale of tremendous too? Very unfair to me I've been eating out of this trash can of ideology, but I think it's very political So, um, should we should we like to hear the four questions? Let me just give it a little yes I imagine that absolutely Yeah, there's so there's such a normal if you want to rate a restaurant

This is totally the way I if I wanted to recommend a restaurant to my friends Would say well, here's the four dimensions upon which I'll make the recommendation oysters champagne caviar bitches Milo stop saying the real thing that I think I love that you didn't even object to bitches Like I was I thought you were gonna say ass and I was just like well now we're going the whole I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm I'm I'm in a I'm in a very happy monogamous relationship

But I'd like I'd like my girlfriend to be allowed to come to the place as well Any case Here is what they their four questions are does this business serve persons of every political belief? Um of every political belief every single one So if I go in my Hezbollah headband with the Yeah, you can you can order pieces, right? You go in there and start like doing a sort of pole pot style Like just shooting anyone with glasses in the back of the head and they're like, but that's that's your right

It's sort of like how do they even determine that? I mean, this is a question you get asked before you get seated It's like a party of four uh non-smoking uh pull pot did nothing wrong It's like do you know the um the subreddit on uh Campuchia the Cambodian regime under pole pot makes you write an essay before they let you join So I'm just picturing ordering food like that as you have to like tap out a little essay on the mcdonald's screen first You have to get turned out of ten on the multiple choice question Absolutely

Also, it's like is that I think I don't I wonder if 63 red save is really interested in if you're a card carrying dsa member By the way, I'm very interested. I'm a member of the democratic socialist of america. Here's my card Are you still cool with serving me? There's no Any restaurant in the world would say what that's a bit strange, but all right Yeah, I mean most restaurants in america be like, I don't fucking care. Are you gonna pay me? Whereas yeah, I'm really into marshal peter. How do you feel about that? How do you know about that libs? This relates to the second question slightly as well

Okay, does this business allow legal concealed carry under the state's laws? Of course Yeah, so can you have if it's concealed? How would they know? Yeah, it's difficult one to answer, isn't it? Yeah, I mean it's really a sort of shrodinger's rule that if you put a gun in your waistband And like will you know if it's gone off before or after it shoots yourself in the kneecap? You know, can I eat with my gun? For example, yeah, just I bring my own cutlery in the cutler normal question You're asking are you looking for a restaurant? Can I cook my steak with my firearm? Shooting it until it's sufficiently hot. It's like weird restaurants where like they got you to choose what kind of animal you wanted to eat

That's just for the animals in that restaurant. No, no, they existed. I'm pretty sure that's a simpsons thing. And then the waiter is the joker and he says like they're all animals here. It was like what kind of fish do you want and we can like take it out and cook it for you like that? Yeah, they do that with seafood, but they don't do that with like Thousand shit, do they? I'll be fair. I did actually go to a restaurant in the south of france like of course you did Riley, were you put up the thumbnail for this episode as just being that communist caricature of like the pig in the top hat? No, I went to a restaurant in the south of france like this once and it was in a little village called florac And I was driving with some of my friends from I realized where this is now going and it's kind of a few to sell this out

Really welcome to our socialist podcast About our jaunty adventures in the south of france. A couple of friends and I were driving we're driving back from um a Let's say large house that had been rented for us in the southern france. We were driving back two parents It doesn't make you sound any better It was Let's say let's say all of that. It was a polycule, right? Yeah, absolutely. No. Well Anyway, what if you have it? What if you have a polycule but with ollie mers? No

So we're driving back from this country house and we did end up in a little town called florac in the south of france Where there was actually this lovely little restaurant Um where there was a sort of a running stream beside it and they were sort of actively catching fish Well, then cooking and serving the fish to you. It's really really good. So I do kind of get that I I'm I'm on board all of a sudden with this. I can't remember what this app does Is it like a the gun or something the gun thing like Oh the gun thing I forgot some restaurants. I've seen it, but like you go there You go to a restaurant in the state next to it

It's rare that you'd go to a restaurant in the states and like it has like a no guns allowed or no firearms allowed And it's not like a 7-11 with like a fucking small table you can sit at like the it just seems kind of absurd That would be great because like you said concealed Well, the whole point of a concealed carry permit is that they can't see your gun Like yeah, like if they say no firearms you could walk in with the concealed carry permit and just be like Fuck your laws as long as it's actually concealed But like the idea that I mean if it's you know conspicuous carry well great Well, I wouldn't necessarily want to go into a restaurant and have someone with a long gun there, you know

Like they come back from my elephant safari Israeli dining experience of a dude. There's like the giant rifle. Perfect. I'm very I love I love to sit down to eat And I look over and I see that someone actually brought the same RPG launcher as me And then we have something to talk about So here's the other two Will this business protect its customers if they are attacked for political reasons? And does this business avoid politics in its ads and social media postings? Will this business Protect me if I'm attacked for for for politics

Yes, only politics though as as one of those Being the unibomber in this restaurant. Why would they stand out? I think that's politics If someone follows me into the women's restroom and says how you don't belong in here and attacks me that is That's a political reason and will that be judged on the app? No, uh, that's not politics If I'm going to go back to our our tig episode our independent group episode Um, I think that falls into the realm of facts Oh politics. Yeah. Yeah, that's facts not politics

Also because it's the article because summer summer is very good about this stuff He notes that hate crimes have gone up in trump's presidency But the majority of these attacks are related to race religion sexual orientation or ethnicity And that mostly the attacks about politics have been related to people being told that they suck So like a guy In i want to see new jersey or texas. I can't remember the fuck it was came up on some like A college age or like high school senior age teens who were wearing maga hats He was like a mixed-race guy and he basically took one of their maga hats and one of them complained

And he's like splashed a drink in their face and he was like deal with a bitch and walked away And it was it was kind of funny. I'm not gonna lie, but obviously and that guy grew up to be ally He got arrested on like fucking felony assault charges So like I don't know what they were expecting like the person at hardy's who was working on the counter to do But I mean I would imagine that under this apps rubric that would count as oh They didn't defend him against a political attack, but it's like the guy's going to prison probably like five years for it Well, they didn't pull the long gun from underneath the counter and then engage Use the stinger missile from behind the official

They didn't immediately self-destruct the restaurant. You have to dive in front of the spray of water going So the um Well, this guy scott wallace who founded the app compares the app to a political fire inspector And it's confident that will grow more popular 2020 approaches political fire. That's when she claims Also wants to defund the actual fire inspector That's when he claims more trump supporters will be targeted by what he calls socialist goon squads Podcast episode Iron socialist goons and businesses will become more interested in protecting their customers over their politics

But again, I hasten to ab not like protecting, you know Trans women or like like people of color or or like women or whatever, but mostly guys in mega hats That's the main the main one the main persecutor category or see yeah, the most oppressed minority In fact, they're so oppressed that they have the the Presidency and and and stuff and the police are sort of systematically other thing is that the hats don't come off That's the real strategy They're like samson Um, so to to close to close this article to close this this this topic out

We're committed. He said this isn't just another trump dating site Conservatives regularly hook up in the comments on yelp I mean because like certainly gay trump dating site bottomless Why are we really funny about conservatives who like date each other is the fact that they just don't they also don't ever shut up about it. So like Candice Owens and here Yeah, the guy who like the finance guy the tpu k guy They are very like every interview they do is very much like, oh, yeah, we're together and just because she's black and I'm white You know doesn't mean you know

We treat ourselves as individuals and like our love is individual is kind of like number one No one really asked you those questions Well, like it it's very interesting how they kind of make it this point where it's like, oh, yeah, we're dating And that means that conservatives in the cool movement is a cool movement because maybe you'll be able to hook up with someone Yeah, what if what it's no, it's the same it's libertarian some supporters are like, yeah, we're dating. So what if she's 11? That's your prejudice Well, have you seen jacob wall and laura luma lately like the pictures they're taking together? I mean what I love is yeah, I love I love everything jacob wall does online

I like how he hangs out jack berkman a guy who's all who is just like a conservative conspiracy theorist who is gill from the simpsons And always has his fly down. I went to legaf rosh and they did not have a high chair for my girlfriend There's just violence Like posting bikini garfield. Yeah Bikini garfield is a violence of sorts It's a violence against something um Any case

I feel bikini garfield is a violence of sorts is the goodest place to as any to uh to close out this episode That was really the conclusion that this whole episode I think we can all agree on that Have ever produced bikini garfield in this essay. I will argue that It's it's it's Aristotle. It's deduction. It's um a bottomless coffee thing Um the golden mean the weather spoons app this trump date this trump like dating or like like Restaurant thing and that equals a sexy garfield obviously. Yeah any case it remains for me now only to say uh mark Thank you very much for coming on

It's been really fun except it does make you think about um, you know, how shit everything is I know what's to do about that really. Uh, I mean we might I might use that quote a little bit more if I'm honest Um, that's not your fault. None of it's your fault. It's just well. It's our fault for pointing it out really Yeah, but someone's got to we could have just gone to weather spoons and sort of sat on the app and been like Well, let's shoved peas Peas non-stop Make it better. Well, we we as as a group are going to bristol transformed on april 5th

Order us some peas there after we do our live show, which would be very very fun Um, how much do you care about so she doesn't even have to buy us peas Please don't make it a joke that people will buy us peas because I want to go to the spoons in bristol I want to go to the spoons in bristol and I want to be ordered drinks not peas It's gonna be like Shut the fuck up peas No, um the main where the spoons in bristol is where I used to go when I was at school as well because that's where I

Grew up that was the puppy went to when you were kind of underage and stuff. So the libertarians abound It's gonna be so exciting Well, uh speaking of uh mark, you've also got uh, you also have an audible an audible download I don't want to call it a book because it's it's it's sort of an audio. It's like a long podcast It's like a really really long podcast. Yeah So I am still concentrating, but I'm also glancing at the trending topics to say things like britain fuck Is that britain first? Very controversial. Is your is is your commute a little over a day long?

Yeah, it's it's Oh, it's six and a half hours of stuff. So it it masks down. So you could take two trips to dartford and back Yeah, that's right Because it's based on a random marathon, but there's like half an hour for each episode So yeah, like if you have a if you had a you could do it in a day if your commute was like from say A swansy I suppose. Yeah, they're they're about you get there and back and you could have a really satisfying day Dear listeners in swansy. Well, you can't just listen in

I will literally buy a ticket to swansy Ideally you've been do you have to get the whole thing if you want to go to swansy It's an impossible thing it like self-destruct If you don't want to get to swansy listen to the show not even like leave the train and just come back That's the target audience Into paul joseph watson's head basically You'll never know if you're on your way to weatherspoons and all of a sudden a muslim man worked like dressed in black Just kind of takes you from behind and a helicopter is flying above

Yeah, I bought a kitkat on the train, but it looked tiny in comparison to my massive lips So, um, we'll link that we'll link that uh in the description. Um, also, yeah, come see us in bristol in april And also if you want a second episode of our, um Well show that I'm really so it just does I does make you feel bad I guess but I suppose we're accurately describing the things that make you feel bad They're most people just in a horny way We're accurately describing the things that make you feel bad that most of the media is telling you is fine And we're at least acknowledging that you're right that it sucks. Let's just get it down, right?

Like it's either us or the joe rogan show Exactly. All right. The rogan show is way too big ours is optimized for your commute The question is the difference between those two shows really is who's going to tell you to shreds billionaires or the chimps? That's your choice. And finally we have we have the usual t-shirts We have the usual mugs you can get all that shit in the description So usual mugs a british version of the usual suspects In it Anyway, um, so once again mark, thank you very much for making the trip to whitechapel

And finally don't order us peas if we if we say anything in the weather spoon hat Have an enjoyable commute everyone. Goodbye. All right peas out Oh