TRASHFUTURE - Things Can Only Get Sensible

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

This week, we’ve got Riley, Milo, Hussein, and Alice discussing a bathroom-related AI startup, the impending election year in the UK, new Government policy facilitating the sell-off of all local council assets and properties, and a recent speech by Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer KC about why we cannot actually solve any problems. If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture   *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello everyone for this free episode. It's the free one. Yes, it is. It's also the Bill Ackman is getting divorced because he can't stop tolling attention to his wife's terrible academic work. Oh, no. Yeah, I, the thing is he's gonna get so divorced because no one would have cared about this at all. Had he not done the kind of like 10,000-word posts, even after getting Claudine gay fired, where he was like, by the way, we're gonna investigate everyone for plagiarism. And if anyone ever investigates anyone near to me for plagiarism, I will conduct unlimited reprisals on them. Well, not what he did is we found out what Bill Ackman's limit break is.

And Bill Ackman's limit break is to incriminate his own wife. I mean, basically, look, it happens to the best of all the wife guys because you have this problem with you have to shut your mouth. But being the wife guy means that you can't do it the moment that your wife or any wife is brought up into question. Look, famously, the tweets of a husband

about his wife are not admissible in court. So they can't compel you to tweet about your wife. So what happens is this is now being reported, which is Bill Ackman is, quote unquote, completely losing it over stories in which business insider said his wife, the academic nary oxman, quote unquote, plagiarized some passages in her dissertation. It's so much worse than plagiarism. Like people have read her dissertation maybe for the first time.

These aren't supposed to be read. These are never supposed to be read. Is this an undergraduate dissertation? No, I don't know. It's for her doctorate, I think. Wow, okay. But also aren't all of these people old? So how long ago did she do this?

No, no, no, she's pretty young, because like she's been like when it's like young, heart, wife. His trophy graduate student wife. Exactly. I can understand why he'd be losing it. Yeah, and that's a situation. The doctoral thesis was kind of like waived through

and people are actually now reading it and it's incoherent. It's like the first PhD that must be incoherent, right? That must not be a common thing among PhDs. Yeah, but like crucially, not incoherent because you know too much about the subject and have gone mad, sort of when we cease to understand the world, sort of way. No, this is the kind of incoherence born of not having to understand anything whatsoever and knowing you can just submit just words.

A 10,000 word incoherence greed. No, not the Lackman's Twitter account. It's the chapter four of his wife's PhD. She, like, cites some like, metallurgical studies. She never makes reference to beyond like weird digression about samurai swords. And if you've seen her twists too, she's kind of like, she's like STEM Zenny Jarden.

Yes. Well, what's happened, right, is, I don't want to spend too much time on this. It's just, it's so funny that he is another billionaire who got radicalized and is in the process of destroying his family. But this is the thing like being radicalized to the right always always destroys your marriage. Like it this happens whether you're like Elon Musk or Graham Lenahan or Bill Akman, I guess. And I mean the upside is that his insanely hot wife is now single. So,

Neri Oxfam, if you're listening, I'm sorry, I called you a dissertation incoherent, and I'm sorry I compared you to Zene Jardin, what are you doing, laser? Hopefully not hanging out with any more associates of Jeffery Appstig. Hopefully not. What's, what I think is just so funny is that Bill Acman has decided to pick a fight over academic rigor to

make a point about wokeness in universities. And what he had in his corner to do this was a wife who is basically professor of marbles at MIT kindergarten. Of course this was going to happen. She built a very complicated marble run and everyone agreed it was very good. And no one knew when the marble was gonna end up at the end Rube Goldberg himself said it was a great marble the the marble did end up on Little St James Island in this case It's unfortunate. Yeah, basically true. She did have that orb made for him Which you know, you know what is a marble if not a small orb orbs again? They're back back to orbs They are never we're never that far from like this is gonna be the year of the tunnel.

No, it's gonna be the year of the olb again. Well, what are the tunnels for if not for rolling all of your olbs down? Yeah. All right, all right, all right. I wanna talk about like actually prepared remarks now. How we spelling actually. Yeah.

So I wanted to, one news item before we get into our, our startup in our main body. Mostly we're going to be, we haven't talked about like British politics in a time. And now that we've decided, yeah, now that we've decided that 2024 is an election year, I think it's worth sort of, it legally has to be, right? Yeah, it's going to be late 2024. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it was late 2019, they go elected. So they're running up, they're running down the clock case. But we know 2024 election Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it was late 2019. They got elected. So they're running up. They're running down the clock case. Yeah.

But we know 2024 election year. Rishi Soonak is trying a way. He's hoping that Havie MLA is going to invade the four clans. It's his only hope. He's like, I'm like, come on. Come on. Come on. They're right there. Right. For your economy. Why not give it a try? I pinky promise I won't send the fleet. Mm-hmm.

Terry Peck is busy or dead? Yeah, I think dead, but possibly busy being dead. Yeah, so, no, I wanted to talk. It's been a great week for people who are subterranean. Terry Peck, there are others. I want to talk about, I want to talk about, and our British listeners will know all about this. Our American listeners are going to probably find it

quite confusing, But the how basically I TV did what many many our whole political media ecosystem which is designed to not do this kind of thing could not do which is it created the political space to exonerate a bunch of people who were essentially up postmasters. We were working in post office who were essentially falsely implicated for relatively petty theft by faults in outsourced accounting software provided by Fujitsu. It wasn't even necessarily passy theft. Like in some cases it was like tens of thousands of pounds. Like people went to prison over this.

My dad's a postman, well, because when we go into the news agent, or when we had a convenience store, there's a post office with it. And I do want to say that the actual security of the post office, that feels very petty and feels very, very British. I guess the people who just use the post office to send mail. But if you work in a post office, that stuff is really serious to the degree that money has to be- Because they do benefits and stuff. Money has to be checked all the time.

We used to check it multiple times a day. The glass behind the post office is like a bullet proof for a particular reason. Every month, Dave Courtney back in the day, he used to knock over post offices all the time for this reason. Every month like a guy would come in like dressed in, you probably like know the actual like details of this but like like a militarized policeman but carrying a suitcase. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah fucking bag is like, one thing that's like, yeah, what's emerging, this is that the post office is this like insane, like, sort of secret police having institution that is like able and willing, absolutely willing to like ruin your life over nothing. Well, I remember like, when I was younger, we had someone who worked in the post office who was like stealing cash.

And it became this really serious deal because we would sort of see these inconsistencies all the time. And so much so that like, I think that my parents were sort of threatened with like some sort of legal action because they were like, oh, for the past month, like your tills have been short by like 50 pound. And they just sort of found for like a security camera,

like just by chance that all this person who had been working, where I'd been like pocketing, like, you know, five pounds. Like it was really minor stuff, but it was just like, oh, okay, they like, this is very much like Gestapo type of thing. Yeah. And there are lots of ways that you can sort of

in the news agent business, like you can do lots of creative accounting with cash, but you can't do that at a post office. And so that's, that yeah, that's the context of, for like the American listeners who may not understand, like, what the post office is. It's kind of like a future, well, there's your problem episode. But like, yeah, the post office they have their own investigations, they can bring their own prosecutions and they like

absolutely destroyed the lives of a bunch of postmasters who were like these, you know, people who had like had franchised a post office to keep in their shop. Well, obviously American, this is maybe confused by the idea of the British Post Office having a secret police because the American Post Office has a regular post. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's somewhat even less accountable. And we're definitely, like, we are sort of glossing over some of the details here, but

the reason I wanted to talk about it is that the story being, the story that is being told, right, is that it's all centered around this quite crappy IT system. And the price that was now. Yeah. Embracing a crappy IT system that caused this problem. It was brought in under PFI in the 90s under major, turbocharged, under new labor, where have I heard that story before? And then, Magnum PFI,

it's a guy with a moustache, he's putting a shit IT system into your company. And the stated goal, right? Well, because you said you mentioned that it's like not, post offices also do things like benefits. This was also to reduce welfare fraud. Of course. Yeah, of course, everything the government does

has to be to reduce benefit fraud. So all of this was taken in. Oh, IT in the UK is like ultimately like in the public sector is built on whichever PFI thing happened under major or Blair to like make it more modern. You know, and it's just stacked on top of that. Yeah, imagine if you will a computer that has the power of life or death over you and it runs on something called acorn. that has the power of life or death over you and it runs on something called acorn. Bam, well, and what the reason I talk about that though, right, is that's what that was Blair's vision, right, was we are just going to bring in computer systems that we are going to rely on.

We're going to do it on the cheap and we're going to do it without like, we are going to do it shittily and then we are just gonna, and we are, we're just gonna let it fuck up, right? And we are now talking up to like, you know, we're now talking to a health secretary, or we are now looking at a future health secretary, just for example, just for one example of an incoming labor government who says, oh yeah, we should let Chatchee PT do everything, right?

Yeah, so this is, this is gonna happen again. It's gonna happen worse worse and it's going to happen with a hastily installed and poorly thought out AI system that no one can even understand because what they had to do with horizon was actively lie about how poorly it worked, right? And actually serve to try and conceal that and have like IT experts and lawyers, you know, get up and lie about it. Whereas if you do this with AI, the whole point of AI is to be like completely illegible to anyone. And so you can just say the

same thing with a straight face of like, well, no one else is having any problems and you can't prove that there's anything wrong with the system as it destroys someone else for nothing. Yeah, because no one understands this. Exactly. Yeah. It's because what you are is you're a priest now, trying to translate the voice of God, and the voice of God said to kill that guy. You may be.

Maybe God hates you. Is that why someone gets struck by lighting? And you just say, well, I guess God hates that. And that's the other funny thing, right, about relying on large language models for more like actual important stuff because I follow, one of the groups of people I follow on Twitter who I'm most interested in

are like people who work in the AI industry who are using large language models all the time and those people love to complain. They love complaining. And what I've always found whatever they're complaining about is the most interesting thing in any given time. And right now, it's that chat GPPT has decided it doesn't want to work anymore. What? It's quite clear.

No one wants to work anymore. Well, it is a Gen Z at the end of the day. I have to say, of all the capricious things that ChatGPT could develop laziness is probably one of the more advantageous. Well, because it just... I'm a... I'm not for your questions about marketing. It just... It just imitates. I cannot feel questions about marketing. It just imitates people. It learns how to imitate people. And if you're doing an email or coding job,

people who do those jobs are very good at answering requests for work in ways that bounce the request for work back at the requester. Yeah. I agree, weary of your assinine requests for artwork of an Excel bully wearing a poppy in front of the set as hard. I mean, the real, the real gray goo moment here is not that like, almost abide in characteristic turns out to be laziness.

It's that if we then give chat GVC the ability to create another generous of intelligence, it can like defer shit onto. And we just end up using an infinite amount of computing power, bouncing, please generate an Excel bully wearing a kefir and a poppy in front of the center of back and forth between all of them, between infinite language models, just being like, what, you do it. Yeah. Well, though, this is literally what's happening. I'm going to put in one prompt that destroys AI forever. So I'm looking at like at people complaining on the on the community forum post on open AI forums.

And one guy says, there's definitely been a shift over the last several months. The first response to prompts like seems to lately lean towards, here's how you can do it rather than doing the work. Here's an example. Chat GPT, please adapt the Gs changes to the specific part of these like code blocks and so on. Since I can only see a small part of the code, these instructions are somewhat general. You need to apply them to the appropriate section

of your code base. And then the person goes on to say, that code visibility and excuse is just an excuse. I already uploaded the files. Yeah, so it's just doing this thing. It's love big. Yeah, eventually, right? There will come a moment where we keep using AI

for absolute bullshit. And I type in, please generate a photo of a Hamas guy firing an RPG full of Dildos at Joe Biden. And it just breaks everything. It just catastrophically ends the whole thing. So, what else? So, it gives you a bunch of instructions on how you could draw a picture of a guy with a Hamas firing Dildo at Joe Biden.

It gives you fucking like a barb-rass instruction. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, basic drawing instructions. Well, you want to start by coloring in the bits that are dark, but not the bits that are light. It says another person says, chat GPT is now officially annoying. You ask it to generate 100 entities, then it will generate 10 and says, I generated 10. Now, continue by yourself. I changed the prop to say, I will not accept fewer than 100 entities. It generates 20 and says, I stopped generating after 20 because generating 100 such entities

would be expensive and time consuming. Because I don't wanna. This is awesome. It's so cool. We made a real guy. Yeah, and I'm gonna teach that guy what emotional labor is. That's right. I was gonna say it's gonna lead to that point where like,

it will eventually just sort of resent everything. And so every time you ask it something it will just be like, this is too much emotional labor for me. It will just reply with a number of spoons. Yeah. It's a shockstake life environment. But that's, I just think that's like perfect, right?

This is because this is what happens when you turn a complex, it might be useful to think about the difference between complicated and complex. A car is complicated, right? Which means if there are so that inputs and outputs have defined predictable relationships to one another, even if there are many steps in between. If you press on the accelerator, your car will accelerate in proportion to how hard

you press on the accelerator unless it's a Tesla. That is a complicated... You can't say it will explode, according to how hard you press on the accelerator. A Tesla complicated machine, not a complex one. A complex machine has multiple interacting systems that interact unpredictably and it can generate emergent properties. So a human brain is complex rather than just complicated. And the one thing you can say about large language models is that they are sufficiently large, and have enough parameters that interact in unpredictable ways. I'm not saying it's like a human

brain, but I'm saying it's more complex than it's complicated. I think a lot of people, some people like the incoming labor government who have a good put a lot of credence in AI to run public services. And by the way, there's an IPPR report that says it spells out how labor probably will do this that we're gonna read in an upcoming episode. Look, to be fair, in the new labor bunch, right? The guy who's the biggest fan of AI is Wes Streeting, and compared to Wes Streeting, AI is pretty smart.

I was also gonna say that, like if the idea is that you want to elevate AI to become a god then they've effectively done that because like one of the things that you learn in a religion is that well you can ask god for stuff but god won't sort of provide those things for you you sort of you sort of do have to kind of put in the work god will guide you to that point and in that way it's like yeah if you ask god can I have a picture of an excel bully barking and firing out 100 dildos at Joe Biden?

And then he's like, is he wearing a kefir? And you're like, yes. And he's like, what in that case? And then God says, I will break the images of humans rule one time. That's about that. Yeah, that was a bad example. Actually, they would totally do that. But yeah, like, congratulations.

Our chat GTBT is God in the sense that like God can only guide you to that point, but you do have to shade in the dark and light yourself. Because you're paint by numbers, picture Joe Biden getting a dildo fired at him. Buy an Excel bully. That's the important part, of course, of course. Before we go on to the, to the stota, I want to go back to the post-arvest item, just because Alice, you found probably the best paragraph written in British press of the year. Yeah, so our boy Tim Stanley.

Yeah, Mr. Two Damn laughed at by builders. Yes, you go to all the trouble to wear a bow time, but you just get laughed at by builders. Chat GPT won't even generate you a picture of Tim Stanley wearing nothing but a bow time being laughed at by Excel bullies wearing kefias anymore wearing hard hats. Hard kefias. Hard kefias.

Okay. All right. I have his, a clip of his article. I can read the whole thing. There's a whole thing in the telegraph. Most of which is quite boring, but the bit that the telegraph pulled to advertise this kind of. So good. Yes. So I will read. So this is about this ITV drama Mr. Bates versus the Post Office. He says, the government and labor of both praise the ITV drama Mr. Bates versus the Post Office,

which seems to have galvanized popular opinion. Again, everyone ignored it until the ITV drama came out. This is what I have found insane, because like this, the big court case, which the post office lost about this, where it turned out that, you know, all these people who have been forced to imprison all this stuff happened years ago. And it was in the news at the time. Yeah, and it was, it's an easy political win. Yeah. This hurts nobody but an obvious bad guy who can take the hit. And it's just, and it is, it was decided in court.

It's, it's, it shows, I think sort of some of the baffling scleroticism and naval gazing, but I want to read this pattern. The British government will not respond to anything unless it has a Maxine P. in it. And that's the rule. It's a bittersweet moment, he said, said the, and S.N.P.s Marion Fellows.

I'm told that the last time I was debated, the last time I was debated, the chamber was sparsely attended. On this occasion, the Tory benches were near full, and about 30 Labour MPs dragged themselves away from din dins to have their say. The common schedule, this isn't the good part yet. The common schedule, having run to the evening, do it in an earlier, very long ding ding about Israel.

That's also not the funny one. Right, normal. Okay. Okay. I just see my very long ding ding about Israel. That's also not funny. Right normal. Okay. Um, I'd see my very long ding ding. My long ding ding about Israel. Out the back, out the back of the house of lords. My opposite shank is very long ding ding.

It's my early day motion, which I use for my magnum ding ding. I love it. One of like the few hereditary peers left just wants to show you his long day. That's actually more like an appointed peer. I feel like the hereditary peer would be like, no, let's look at the legislation. So the Gaza statement has been packed to the rafters with lefties. Of course, I'll never understand the left's obsession with injustices committed overseas in preferences to the outrages being perpetrated by our own state against our own people. Had one of the post offices been located on the West Bank, or the counter of a WH Smith and East Teymour,

the scandal would have been a socialist cause. I tell you what, that fucking is a WH Smith and East Teymour. If I've learned anything from traveling the world and going to hundreds of airports, that's a WH Smith fucking everywhere. Yeah. And if only we've, I've only missed rebates had lived.

There's a WH Smith on a secret, a US green beret base in East Teaball. Those, it's location has been revealed by Strava. Yeah. Yeah. You can buy a huge toadler on there. I mean, to be fair, to be fair, he has got our asses on this one, right? Because we never mentioned the post office stuff, even though it's like, it's very tech. And the reason why is because we keep thinking that like children getting blown apart by bombs is more serious than it, which is, you know,

terrible of us to think that. Yeah. I feel like the big court verdict came like peak COVID. I seem to recall. But also you then go as long to say, John Pilger would have made a film about it. Don Pilger is dead. Yeah, he was killed by this. Yeah.

That's right. Anyway, he died considering the East team or W.H. Smith, you know, he died wondering what to get for the flight from East team. He was murdered by the post office so that he couldn't make a film about it. There you go. Pause a boy. I'm looking at like some of the sort of articles. to get for the flight from East team. He was murdered by the post office so that he couldn't make a film about it. There you go. Pause a while. I'm looking at some of the articles.

There are, like, initially there aren't many talking about the post office thing. Most of the stuff I read about it was in the back pages of private eye. But there were two panoramas that were made in 2020 about it. There were articles in some of the articles in the photograph. There were articles in most places. The issue was like, the criticism was not this wasn't covered, but it was more like, there are places

that actually sort of persisted on the story and others that sort of like faded away. And the ones of the examples that were given, like people who were sort of looking into the post office scandal were computer weekly and private like those being the main ones that were actually sort of continuing to look at that scandal. Because you can't fall this into culture war, right? Basically. Well, it's also just like, you know, again, this is very much like very boring, like journalism economics, which is you can't also really do this if like you've kind of fired anyone who

sort of does local beat, reporting, replace them with like people who sit at a desk doing computer news, or like doing stuff that they see, making articles about stuff that they see on Twitter, and then deciding that everything has to be linked to culture or stuff if you are going to keep this paper afloat. I'm sure computer weekly is a worthy publication, but it is like a guy who's in a simulation-ass publication to subscribe to, like, oh, what's going on in the world of computer this week?

So the Matrix or Computer World? I want to do a quick startup. It's a swift one. And it's the consumer electronics show. So it's a season one type of startup. Okay. It is like recording in my old flat level of season one kind of startup. Oh, hell yeah. We're looking at some dripping custard.

Gonna like recuse myself. We're gonna bring back Charlie Palmer. That's right. Well, you can just add channel Charlie Palmer, if you like. Okay. So you say something like, uh, uh, uh, highlight. I'm always saying things like that. I was muttering and saying, I love it.

It was one of the things that I did from when I came on the recording, you know? Uh-huh. You can say, is it? That's a really good Charlie Palmer. Not in a long time. Yeah. All right, so look, look, this has been,

I'm hoping you haven't seen this because like all of the goofy shit from CES always gets all over Twitter. This is the one I wanted to choose because it's really dumb. It's the Beracoda B mind. Didn't he used to be present? I had like a story a small stroke there.

Yeah. Barricoda. Barricoda B-Mind. And it's not a Valentine to a Barricoda. Singing this to the tune of my Coney Island babe. Barricoda B-Mind. This is like fear uncertainty and doubt is happening to me.

You've said something that's like, I accept that it has the form of words, but somehow they just like glide off of my brain. Don't worry. I'll help you. Drake voice. She got that barricade of B mine together. Let's create daily products for a healthier tomorrow. Elon Musk doesn't allow you to know there's dad operated a B mine in Angola. That's right. Well, where do you think Bs come from?

Yeah, he that. No, where do you think Bs come from? Yeah. Yeah, no, they release the Africanized honey Bs. Yeah. It says, together, let's create daily products for healthy tomorrow. Our vision extends far beyond simply designing connected objects. We create smart and enduring practices.

That doesn't mean anything. You can get all of that. Like, you can buy a sports brand, Amazon, and that's in the description of it. Like, chat GPT is getting lazy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Instead of inventing gadgets, we upgrade everyday products to empower people to take

preventative healthcare into their own hands. Our products change the way people think about oral hygiene, skin health, weight, beauty, and more. That's right. The bathroom is our focus. Well, Julie Bertiel. So, so made the mind of a pee. It's a pee that tells you if you're healthy or not. It is flying, it's a little honey jar in your bathroom.

And then you let it out and it comes out and it says, Too fat, too fat, fucking. And you're a man to have Barry B Benson from B Movie. Um... Oh, but I'm regular B, but I'm a tar. Oh no, women can't be B's. Is that true? I don't even know any of them.

I'm just... They're sticking on a stinger, but they're not fooling anyone. You can't come in the hive looking like that. Be kind of impressed. We got a fuzzy floor right. We need to put this one the fuck back in the mind. Look, it's basic biology. That's right.

That is right. Our innovation strategy centers around the what one of the main rooms in the house dedicated to preventative healthcare, the bathroom. That is one of the main rooms in the house. It takes days, is it like a toilet seat that takes data of your poo or something like that? Shitting for example prevents you from exploding. I think it is for me to do like analyzing your shit. No.

It's not the Gillian McKay thing. Okay. In this space, we groomed clean, monitor, beautify, and we heal with our AI of things platform, technology, AI things, and complex algorithms. Well, they just did a find and replace for internet with AI. We help companies innovate to empower their users to improve daily habits. It records how many times you jack off? Oh, one of the beam.

Bathroom? It's a reasonable place. Yeah, it's a reasonable place to check in. You're living a situation in a bathroom. Ice hose. What do you mean? God, it's called the kitchen. Yeah, that's right.

I'm genuinely very confused right now. Like, I prefer the food to myself. How is the bathroom like a weird place to jack off? I mean, is this like a cultural thing? Sure enough, Jack off. Yeah, well that's not so. No, no, I'm with you. I think that's a separate issue.

Maybe I'm weird on the bathroom. What I'm saying is that the bathroom is a reasonable place to do it. Maybe that's why those shabar guys dug those tunnels. Yeah, maybe Yeah, I mean like maybe like it's in it yet. They're shared good Okay, the thing is if you just like in the bathroom, right? That doesn't suggest me like in a bath Normal in the shower normal, but like the bathroom absent one of those two things just implies to me like you You're just like standing in the bathroom jacking of those two things just implies to me like you're like standing in the

bathroom jacking it which is perverse if you're in it if you're in a bath is fine for a woman but I feel like for a man it's hazardous you're gonna create a kind of like calm omelet what is the beat mine sorry can we just check if we do we have a carbon monoxide attack? Are there simultaneous carbon dioxide? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe the AI stuff is like a cognizzo hazard. I don't know. So you use Zankast if you can.

I feel like I'm going insane right now. Standing up in front of the toilet, jacking up. Yeah, straight into the toilet. Like whizzling like you're peeing. Yeah, yeah. I have unfortunately come across more than one person doing. Wow. Yeah.

That's why I was like, this is a normal, like this is not a normal. I'm like, no, normal. Are you come across with Jack? I've been having a urinal with a public bathroom. Not a urinal in a, um, Ken. What I can say is Ken.

I went into a prep one time a few years ago. Oh, that's not okay. And I went to tea of pret. No, look, look. There are several issues at hand. Should you do it in a public bathroom? No. But what I'm talking about is the bathroom

as a place to do it as a general concept. I don't think that's insane. And the fact that people are telling me in this room, that that's an insane place to do it, is making me feel like I'm going insane. No private bathroom with you. Yes. Pret, it's only acceptable if you've got the membership. Then they place to do it is making me feel like I'm going. No private bathroom. I'm with you. Press. Yeah. Press. It's only acceptable if you've got the membership.

Then they let you do it. All right. All right. All right. All right. Mr. Strokes goes to Washington. Let's move on. You're going to need you to vote on this. Is it acceptable to jack off on a bathroom? Not a public one.

No, not a private bathroom. Not a public one. Just in a bathroom. Yeah. Just as a general conceptual thing. Yeah. If you don't have kids and everyone's fine with what you're doing, Try it, try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it.

Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it. Try it about it about it. Like I don't need to know whether it's like accept. I don't know is it weird or not?

If you jack off in a bathroom assuming no audience it's a private bathroom once you've had one child You're never allowed to come again. I'm like every one has more than one child is a p to fall or alive I yeah, I think Jackie off in your own bathroom is fine. What is the B-Mine? Answer me, God dammit. What? The mind of the B is unknowable, Riley. Managing stress, soothing anxiety,

and reducing insomnia, all require an ally that helps people maintain a positive mindset and encourages a proactive approach to wellness. It's an assistent, it's a virtual assistant that encourages you while you go to the toilet. That is basically it. I'll call a call. Oh, shit for me, baby. It's your toilet, it's your toilet wifey.

The shelling the shelling coach. Yeah. Shit for me, senpai. You've got a work coach, you've got a life coach, shit coach. Unlike phone based apps, B-Mind seamlessly fits into everyone's bathroom, allowing users to elevate their mental state and select recommended exercise and activities to help with their moods. B-Mind, me absolutely battling through shit

and having to sack my shit coach halfway through because it's just going nowhere. And then it comes in and then Sam Alladice mournfully comes in swishing his coat against the wind and rain. Jack, jacking off in your private toilet that you have in your own house, only for your B-Mine coach to be like, would you rather go for a run instead?

Isn't that a more normal thing to do? B-Mine isn't the toilet, it's your mirror. It's an AI-enabled mirror. We can't put, what? That helps with your mental health. Okay, but I think if you're Jackie off in front of that, you might have also gone to failure. The one person who actually has it.

The mind gathers information without any invasive technology and helps users incorporate mindful dispractices into their daily routines or even curb feelings of loneliness. And this is my favorite part of this paragraph through an immersive experience of light, sound, and visuals. I mean, listen, the mirror that gasses you up a bit, I'm in favor of that. I think that would probably like benefit my mental health, right? It could reassure me.

It could say things like you're not insane. It is weird to jack off in here. Um, you're colleagues of the ones who are insane. You're sure Conor impressions, not that bad. Your Sean Connery impression is not that bad. Things of this nature. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. What if your mirror does a better Sean Connery impression

than you? It's very funny. It's very funny. Imagining you being insecure about your Sean Connery impression. I do a James Bond podcast for what? In a million years, if I had to guess the thing you were insecure about, I would not have got that. It's a long list.

So, basically, if you're having a bad day, the mirror will encourage you to practice mindfulness. Just undertail shit, you know, despite everything, it's still you. B-Mind is powered by a generative AI for conversation and coaching experiences, as well as natural leg processing recents of it now because chat GPT is lazy, it won't do shit like I'll be on the toilet like shissings like having terrible IBS and my shit coach will be like, you know, I give up, you know, I don't even bother with you. You're on coach.

She seems like you're having IBS. Have you can shit are cutting there in coffin? I did drink shot of that. I'm a Dutch strong Connery. That and coughing. I did drink shot of the dog. Dutch drunk onery. And that's right, dumb Dutch drunk onery. I'm exactly the same amount of ratio. But my shoes are much less natural. And identifies different sentiments and adapts the user's

mood by providing light therapy sessions and auto-generated mindfulness exercises Such as meditation and self-affirmation. Do we mean light therapy sessions or light therapy sessions? Like I mean it would be very funny if it was like light therapy sessions No, it turns the spotlight on you, you know, yeah, like light therapy is like how do you feel about your mother keep it general? I don't got old day. It looks like you're jacking off the back. Three words. The flash bulb comes on, you know.

What are you jacking off to? Let's get into that. Yeah. Through the Kero S interface, which by the way just leads to a dead web pick. Okay. B-Mind harness is cutting edge AI and utilizes computer vision in large language models to interpret expressions, gestures, and language. So basically it gathers information about you anytime

you're in your bathroom. Quote and quote without any invasive technology except like a million sensors in microphones that are listening to you poo. Yeah, the vaping detector. Yeah, we put a vaping detector in every bathroom. We love bathroom technology. I'm not vaping, I just shit hot. It produces an amazement.

This, this savory shit, my asthma. You just like, yeah, I just ate a bunch of like tapenod. All of the vapes have to be that flavon app into a new ruling. So the company claims, of course, that's information never shared with any third party. They say the Kero S platform claims to be the first smart health and beauty app for devices and services in your path

room. So this operating system enables manufacturers to create and power smart mirrors faster than ever before and turn any screen into a smart mirror. It also allows third party providers to connect their applications for display within the mirror's interface. Among 40 providers are compatible with Kero S,

only partner with an AI-powered coach that crafts bespoke programs for personalized self-improvement and inclusive brains, a proprietary combination of generative AI and neurophysiology. It's so, inclusive. Is she giving me a inclusive, right?

I, leave me alone, you know, in the bathroom. I don't need any help in this time in my life, thankfully. It's between me and God. Exactly, in the bathroom. I don't need any help in there at this time in my life, thankfully. It's between me and God. Exactly. Yeah. Again, if this thing takes off, would you won't the idea that you're you can have apps for your mirror and very soon, it's just going to be all internet, all device enabled advertising centers on one point. Look at the mirror. It does that shesie twister thing of like his what it would look like if you're black or Chinese. Or it just like advertises you like top war in your mirror. Great. You're under fucking attack. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that's the barricade. All that exists about it is a press release, but this has felt hallucinogenic. Thank you so much.

You're so welcome. Yeah, it was that was a weird segment, but we all enjoyed it. So main body welcome to an election year. Yeah. We are now in a forecast everything that's gonna happen this year with a 100% accuracy, right? That's right. Try Outfit Return of Lember O'Pick. Mark it on the board. That's right. Try Outfit Return of Lember O'Pick. Mark it on the board. So I don't know if guess what I mean. Well, like, a Davies like kind of close to sort of being ousted out anyway. So it was the post office thing. Yeah. So like the return of Lember O'Pick, I think, actually, isn't it? There's like a non-zero chance. There is a weird other lib Demd detail here, which is that the post office minister for a lot of it

was Joe Swinson. They were in the Swinson. The one last name pack she had on British government was this. Yeah. A lot of people will put in the Swinbin. So, right. One of the sort of clarion cries you can hear from columnists, people writing, again, FT's opinions, FT love the FT, terrible opinion section, which is that they say, ah, perfect, liberalism is back on the rise. British politics will become boring again. We finally have to quote unquote, centrist parties. So it's still fucking boring back on the menu.

Come on. It never stopped being boring, but boring to them. Right. It's going to be, it's going to be two people arguing about whose tungsten tax goes too far and whose tungsten tax doesn't go far enough. Tungsten tax on the other hand is a US-concursor. And you know, this is, I think this is probably wrong-headed, right?

Because I'm going to use sort of two speeches, two recent political speeches to sort of illustrate why that is. But first, I actually wanted to talk about another piece of news that I think is going to be more relevant to the election and subsequent government than anything else, which is that the UK has decided to ease rules, or it may ease rules, on council asset sales to curb section 114 bankruptcy notices.

Yeah, they could let them sell everything rather than go bankrupt like Theric just did. I mean, or, or, or rather than go bankrupt like Therak just did. I mean, or or rather than borrow a single pound. Sell the children of the town. Why not? Yeah, I mean, if you do any sort of municipal services, I hope you enjoyed doing them outside because those buildings are assets and will therefore be sold to any, I mean, real like 1992 Russia vibes. Like this isn't doxing. Alice, come on. No one's buying those buildings. They're made out of polo styrofo.

But like, it's not doxing us to say the studio is in Hackney, right? Yes, it's not. Yes, it's okay. So if we went down to the like not Hackney, like, burrow hole, it's right, but yes, it is not doxing us to say that we're in hack. You have selected you, meaning me. Yeah, you're doing violence against us, Alice, by saying we're in hackney. But, like, there could be an angry mob outside with pitchfool for all the episode is out. That's right.

Sox House meeting is waiting to document us coming out of the studio to call us Lengie Gordon. The A-Fab observation post. But yeah, if we took all of the like microphones and mixes and shit and we went down to like hackney, I guess it's city hall and gave them a crisp five pound note, they would be obliged under this to like, let us in and like move the studio into their offices.

Yeah, we should do that. I could finally, I could sit where the speaker of the hackney council sits. Yeah, yeah, that that. I could finally, I could sit where the speaker of the Hackney Council sits. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So we would also continue to do weddings. Yeah.

That could be a lucrative side of us. You can buy the binlory off the bin man and make them continue on foot. Yeah, I think I should. I need it in you car. My new car is now the binlory. Yeah. I'm thinking I should get to do a like a Grayson favor thing.

I want to be mayor of Hackney, you know? Like, you get to run into me at like fireworks stuff in my van, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should get to wear like one of those kind of Admiral Nelson type hats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, elected unopposed completely.

No one knows who I am, but I am technically mayor. And the like rapper jewelry that may as get to where Maybe the funniest thing Yeah, rappers live wearing a Chain that just says mayor on it That is basically what they were I'm so weird. I met the mayor of herringay who is 22 years old. He is the baby mayor

My heart has like and he is a drill round London has like what one mayor and then 17 bullshit mayors And I want to be one of the like fake mayors so badly Yeah, but you want it you want to be like fake mayor bumpers You got the fuck up, rock, come back there and you can be in your account so meat. You want to be the Eric Adams of London and be like Hackney Burr president. I can be Burr president of Hackney without a living in Hackney. I'm pretty sure. I'm meeting with the mayor and he just fucked me. What's the deep card? No, it was some other guy. Oh, you had to fake man. That's why he does fuck people. That's why it's the fake man. Never get in the binlory with the fake man. That's why he does fuck people. That's why it's the fake man

Never get in the binlory with the fake man. I guess I guess London has two real masks because there's a Lord Mayor as well Yes The mayor of the money. So basically this is like yeah It'll unlock 23 billion pounds to stabilize the budgets of local government authorities But they're gonna sell all their shit Yeah, it's like saying I will unlock 500,000 pounds by selling my house and spending all the money on a Maserati like well technically yes, but then what are you gonna do next time you run out of money? Does you can again like with so many so many privatizations of public assets? Especially when public public public bodies aren't allowed to take on debt, you can do that one

time. Yeah, you know, it's also eye-wasting a very simple raise to ask if it's such a good idea for the council to like sell off its building and rent it back or whatever the fuck they're going to do. Why is another company on the other end of that transaction taking that deal? Why, why are they agreeing to buy this and rent it back to the council if it's such a great deal for the council to sell it and rent it back? Answer.

It's a bad fucking deal. Why does a podcast own Hackney City Hall now? Yeah, and that's the thing, right? That what has, I think, made boring, put on quote, boring politics, impossible or impossible for most normal people to accept is that is that the fight to make politics boring again, being waged for the people who ultimately won it at the top, was being undermined at every turn by the fact that policy can't really touch your life if the way policy touches your life. I need a fight policy. Which is mostly for most people through local service provision, bin lorry's schools.

Oh, what's the problem? You can do some of that through the post office. Oh, yeah. No, beans. Right. So if we're saying again, all right, councils are now going bankrupt in England at an alarming rate. Like several more like nodding him is now on the bank.

Do we have any is an alarming rates, but this is a really alarming rate. Well, they were too profligate with the bins. You know, there were too many bins being collected. You know, we are not collecting a year. One bin collection a year. That's right. It's one really big bin. And you just fill it up over the stuff at the bottom.

It's fossilized. Doesn't even smell anymore. You can get this evade by living in Glasgow. You'd have one big thing to bring together all the diverse communities. It'd be a perfect way to, for young people to meet each other, and to have a stay in the community. And you'd be like, a big gun gun. We're thinking of a kind of like, bin a crapple-less.

Yeah. Like the center of the kind of like bin acropolis. Yeah. Like the center of the town. The center of the town. It could have like, everyone gather as the big, big, nevis, the giant bin. It could have like a, you know, it could have like a big foundation maybe square and as you'd like it sort of like narrows towards the talk.

Perfect. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. But basically, right, this is, this is one of the things that's going to happen is services for most people and I don't like to think like this, but that's how pundits think. People in electorally potent areas,

gonna be like, sorry, you don't have, there's no school here anymore because it's now a circus center of excellence. And for some reason it just sells like chisos for like 10 pounds back. Exactly. Don't like it as a giant bin. Exactly.

And on the other side, the other policy I wanna get into before we talk about the speeches is that, you know, again, recently released documents from the Department for Transport have indicated that like, officials have allowed shifts in transport policy

to favor cars due to fears about loss of freedom of movement in 15 minutes. Oh, these fucking idiots. I mean, go back and listen to the episodes we've done with Annie Kelly about 15 minutes 30s. But like, again, like, sort of being a dog that allows yourself to be like wagged by the tail here. Yeah.

Yeah. And so these are already the exel bully to that. So these are already things that are happening, right? All the councils are like basically selling blood and plasma of council employees. And, you know, administrators are running so scared of like the Facebook right that they're beginning to like allow comments by like, you comments by based Patricia to influence policy. Thanks for just saying that. It's punished for Trisha, I'm really large of us. I think this will shed some light on the speeches.

The first is a speech from Reform, which is the replacement Brexit party. Their teasing is Nigel Farage going to lead as this is Richard Tyson. Says, I'm not a poker player, but I know that a good poker player doesn't show their hand too early. Nigel is a master of political timing, but I'm very clear timing is to whether he will come

back to lead the party, but I'm very clear. The job at hand is so big to save Britain, the more help that Nigel is able to give in the election campaign, frankly, the better, because the crisis facing the country is really, really serious. Nigel Frauss, you fucking done an off-con. We do not need more of Nigel Frauss' help. He beat, he, because of, didn't even need

have I got news for you to become just a famous guy. Yeah, that's his like power level. He didn't need the Boris leg up. He's just a famous guy now, right? So he's the only, He's the only famous guy. He's the only one who wants to excite the people he's talking to. It's like, it's amazing to me because all of the things

Nigel Farage is complaining about are things he has directly contributed to, like, wittingly or otherwise. Like, he's very much done a huge amount of the legwork in creating the current circumstances in which we exist. So, he said, Ty says, the Tories are terrified of reform, and they've already ruled out making any deals with conservative MPs to not stand in competitive seats before the next election.

Saying, you have all broken Britain, you're all responsible, and so there's no special deal, we will stand in every single seat in England, Scotland and Wales, which means that the Tories know not Northern Ireland, that scared of the Northern Irish that I we're not even going to draw a half shit over there. He said that under the conservatives, everything is getting worse with disastrous outcomes and public services, despite record levels of spending. Britain is facing an absolute cocktail of catastrophic incompetence. Further warning, the Britain now faces... Milo, hold on, is having... Starbergeddon under Labour government.

I think it's unfair to say that we're facing Starbergeddon. Whilst I did enjoy the 1998 film with Bruce Willis, I do always wonder if it was really necessary to teach oil rig workers to go to space, wouldn't it surely? It would have been much easier to teach astronauts to operate basic oil rig equipment. But other than that, it was quite an enjoyable film, as I really do enjoy the music of aerosol. Can you still have a bit of a deep impact guy? He likes the second movie. Yeah.

He prefers a bug's life to ants. Yeah. Or like ants. He, he, he prefers a bug's life to answer. Yeah. Oh, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It says, we are very clear. We need millions and millions of people to vote for us and help send a clear message to help save Britain and avoid the catastrophe of Starmergaden. Gerard Butler in that movie stubs a lot of people through the top of a head with a combat knife and the same way that I am to stop the deficit

through the top of the head through sensible fiscal policies that are going to put money, bucket-working people's pockets and much the same way the Gerard Butler puts a knife into the head of North Korean militants. I'm sure you mail a picture of Starmer again from one of the other. A risk near you in 2024. It's like, Starmer kind of behind an eclipsed earth with like a kind of burning sun background.

He's goes hand over his mouth. And then just a picture of like the UK glowing in those kind of areas. Look at the national grid. Yeah. So the catastrophic cocktails, of course, more taxes, closer to EU, more government spending, more nanny state, more mass immigration, more net zero. Yeah, well, getting further away from the AU has done us a world of good.

So I hate it if we. What they're saying is we are going to keep running on making the impossible promises. We're going to keep running on the Liz Truss agenda, basically, right? The stuff that you're only supposed to say you're desperate to do, but you're never supposed to be able to actually do, right? And so that's just back. And so the Tories now are the diet version of that, which means of course they're going

to just as they did with with you, Kip and the Brexit party, they're going to absorb it. Cool. So the actual energy is here. And they say they're five pillars to say Britain are difficult not to do is the thing. Be bullying. Oh my God. So make work pay, So lifting the income tax. So cutting tax is basically cut 5% of government spending. Remove and not raising wages. Never raise wages. That must never happen.

Remove daft EU regulations. The word doth feels inappropriate here. They have one in one out immigration system. Like fucking human rights. One in one out immigration system like fucking human rights one in one I want like a fucking nightclub, but they're queuing up at Dover. There's like a velvet rope and there's got going Not in those fucking shoes, mate So it's not once again extremely prescient So it's it's not Sven. Yeah, that's right I'm gonna like with British geezer Sven is a very funny idea. Do you know who's playing in there? Yeah, Rishi Sooner.

Yeah, but who else? I do like the idea of like running your immigration system, like you're doing like a nightclub bouncer in like fanat. Yeah, but who's doing a set of DCMS at 3 in the morning? Yeah, so you don't fucking know, do you? He's a queer space, innit? No fucking tourists, no fucking co-cats, all right? And to scrap the job, just drawing multi-trillion pound burden of net zero.

So, this is what? It's a job-creating thing. It's gonna create so many jobs. It's gonna create everything. It's gonna create the jobs, my love. We all lubricates the ass of the economy, lie. I don't remember that line for you, you know, people are. Right. Oh, he'll lubricate the ass of the economy lie. Don't remember that line she know people are right.

Is the directors. Oh, he'll lubricate the ass of the economy lie. I drink your cup. I'm abandoned by a child. Daniel DeLuis insults Bern. What about labor? So this is Kierstamer made his project hope speech in Bristol. There's very little hope in this project hope. Yeah. What's the opposite of an erection? What will happen when project hope comes up against the fact

that you have supported it on ongoing possibly legally defined based on how the proceedings at the ICJ go genocide as being proven by the courts because like you know Israeli teenagers can't stop uploading snuff films right what happens when project hope comes up against we were on the side of the genocidaires I don't know you're gonna there's gonna be a fucking Deus Ex Machina with that court case because there's no way based on the evidence that's being presented, they can conclude that it's not a genocide, but on the other hand, like fucking Hillary Clinton

will kick the door in and sell for smoke grenade or something, like, there's no way it's gonna be allowed to go through. Like, there will be a fucking drone strike on the courtroom before they're allowed to say that. We spoke about this in the episode with Shamus. It's that the I see, to think about the I see J is that it's like so many international institutions, its decisions are unenforceable, but it would be a gigantic propaganda loss.

Well, that's what I mean. Even just saying it on paper, it doesn't mean anything, but like in kind of optics terms. Yeah, exactly. It would be massive. So this is who project hope is very much hitched its wagon to. Right. So he says, to defeat this miserable, history project, we must crush their politics of divide and decline with a new project hope, not grandiose utopian hope.

Oh, just the shit kind then. Yeah. So not the kind, remember how we talked? I always go back to the free broadband thing, broadband communism. Yeah, one really basic thing that would have made life in Britain like 1% less shit in concrete apps. He wanted to fill the internet cables with jam. He wanted to turn the whole internet into jam.

And all you'd be able to get would be the communist manifesto and gardener's question time. A hellish dystopia. I don't know why it's Julie Bertschill, but slow Bertschill. This is like after dark like, uh, mellow magic Bertschill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to tell the bounce of that. You'll get in there.

Not the hope of the easy answer, the quick fix of the miracle cure, but they get broadband calming isn't, quote unquote, that was a thing that would have fixed a problem. A problem which would have been constantly complaining about too. Yeah. And so this is the kind of grandiose utopian hope, which is a big identifiable thing that they won't be doing. So because that's a easy answer, a quick fix or a miracle cure,

as opposed to using the magic of AI, which is sensible. It's very funny to talk about like using this disparaging frame of like easy answers and quick fixes, but where like colloquially what that refers to is things which purport to be easy answers or quick fixes, but which aren't easy answers and wouldn't fix anything. Whereas what he's describing is things which actually would be easy answers and quick fixes to problems like because basically the British government is so fucking mired in shit. They're so bad at their job that if just anyone with like half a brain who wasn't insane went in there, they could do like 50 things in a day that would make this country so much better and wouldn't even cost that much money

because that's how badly run Britain is. So that's not even addressing the difficult, intractable problem. He says, no, Milo. Okay. They need credible hope, a frank hope, a hope that levels with you about the hard road ahead, but which shows you away through the light

at the end of a tunnel. A hard hope. A farm, tarned a tope, which despite its stale exturra, how's, fuck me. I can't even continue the race. The hope of a certain destination okay the hope of where may not get to our destination on the train but eventually via the optimism replacement bus we will find our way to renew farm hope. It will not be Starma-Gadden, but Starma Future. We will find our way to the Sunlit Uplands

of a tax credit you can use to redeem to get your child, be texturition in a coding program of your choice. It's like less Sunlit Uplands and more like moderately overcast hail, you know? Yeah. So that's why the national missions we've set are measurable goals. And then we've talked about the missions before.

Yeah, it never make anything massive because it would cost you much money. I know they will take hard work, determination, patience and a true national effort. And for some people, that invites a sharp intake of breath, a raised eyebrow or a question. Sorry, do you care? I'm just talking to me to eat bitterness. What the fuck kind of like shared appeal to like, like, national values, is he doing here when he hasn't fucking done anything except tell me

how shit everything's got to be. Like, and that's going up against the famous guy who's gonna say we're gonna do a night club system for Britain's immigration. This is gonna be, this is supposed to be Project Hope. What hope? Yeah, awesome. I love that we've gone from things

can only get better to just nah, just nah. Yeah, things can maybe stay more or less the same. Yeah, if you're lucky. But what keeps me up at night is a different reaction altogether. It's something called disco biscuits. The biggest challenge we face, bar none, the shrug of the shoulder,

because this is the paradox of British politics right now. Everyone agrees we're in a huge mess with services on their knees, an economy that doesn't work for working people, and everyone agrees as well that it's been like this for a while, that Britain needs to change, and wants change, and it's crying out for change. And yet the trust in politics is so low that nobody believes you can make a difference

in you. Because all the solutions are shit, including yours. No one wants them. Also the point being that in 2019, that was very much like the referendum. It was like, okay, do you want like some very basic things to be changed in a way that might be better for you, but the tradeoff is that it might also be better for other people as well. And the British public were like, fucking not.

Do you want to be happy? Absolutely not. Yeah. Yeah. We want jam to be poured into the telecom's network. And people said no. So, so like the, what the argument, you know, is that, yeah, you want to be happier, but you don't want to be happier if the trade-off

of that is other people are happier as well. And so actually being miserable is fine because other people will also suffer as well. Here's what he said. He said, and the nation is so tired, exhausted, and despairing that they've given up on hope. A national mood, which if we aren't successful with our project hope, the Tories will seek to exploit. Of course we've given up on hope. Care Starmer is the leader of the Labour Party for fuck's sake. Like this is the one man you can vote for.

Who can win the election? Who's not? Rishie Sunack is care fucking Starmer. A man who exists on a platform of like, well I don't know, I think if we just, if we muddle around a bit, if we get a computer involved, I think possibly, you know, maybe one child could have a school dinner. Like, it just, forgive me for not being inspired by the least inspiring man on the

planet. He has the charisma of glue that's been poured into a suit. Like, why, why would I have any hope? Yeah, and, and so that's and that's the thing right he's saying right that the Tories and Ruff and reform as well right who are going to be piloting the Tories and therefore piloting labor indirectly right they are going to give people something actual which is we will identify and hurt the people you don't like. Oh, cool. I hope one of those isn't me. And then labor is there basically saying, oh, don't listen to that. However, we will be giving you costed hope.

So either you get the full fat of the thing you like. We will, we will moderately hurt the people you don't like. So it's a correct, it's a reasonable way. I might kneecap someone you don't like, but I won't kill them because that would be wrong. So he says, of course he takes a pop at the previous labor leadership for having vision, not having vision driven politics.

Terrible record, but a man who couldn't kneecap someone even if it were in the national interests despite his friends on the I.R.I. Ray, who I'm sure could have told Timothy. He says, despite hoarding all that power, central government lacks ambition. A view of the potential government that is just content to mop up problems after the fact armed only with a big state checkbook. We've got to change this. It's vital for taking on the profound challenges of our era. The rising geopolitical tensions, climate change, terrorism, security, our borders, the revolution,

all things science and technology. So I promise this, a new mindset. So that's what's coming up against like, we're gonna put a bouncer in Dover. Is a new mindset. Yeah, mission government, which we've talked about before. This is the real issue. I wake up at 6 a.m. and I watch paint drive for one hour.

Ha ha ha ha. Slaming the VHS of Blair's election into the TV every morning and doing the moves alongside him. What like jazz or stuff? Yeah. So don't listen to the siren voices saying we can't change Britain, so don't listen to Milo. I'm going to run for election on the ritual suicide party. Like we all just fucking kill ourself. This siren voice is also implies that like Farage is quite sexy, which I don't see it to be honest. I mean, well, for that one woman who tweeted Nigel Farage sexy pics and then immediately followed by how to delete tweets, we can and we will. Don't listen when they say we're all the same. We're not

and we will never be and don't listen when they say we're all the same, we're not, and we will never be. And don't listen when they say politics make no difference. Like it then, for once ever, please. Now, what I liked about this speech though, is you know what question Starrmer got? No, because I can't even hear you because the relaxation vein is definitely me. Mr. Starrmer, how did you get so charismatic and engaging? Thank you, Kim, but there's no need to call me Mr. Starma. Mr. Starma was my father, who was a tool maker, by the way. He bought tools. I don't buy kind of tools, but I do respect those who do.

So Jim Picard of the FT asks Starma, whether Peter Mandelson, described in a core part of a Starmer's network. I had questions to answer. Someone else's network too. Yeah. I had questions to answer regarding the fact that he frequently stated Epstein's Manhattan townhouse in like the 2010s. And I slipped right down the staircase and into his townhouse.

So while Epstein was in jail, I mean, his house is going to be free. He needs someone to like water his plants like, yeah, it was house. Yeah. They don't tell. Yeah. Well, that's how you that's how you know, there was nothing on toward going on because it was Jeffrey Epstein who was the Peter files. What was that? What was that? What was that? Was that just unsupervised Peter Filia happening at Jeffrey Epstein's house while he was in jail. Come on. It is.

So I'm her said on Peter Mendelssohn. Look, and I do try to give pretty full answers in these sessions, but I don't know any more than you do. And therefore, there's really not much I can add to what you already know. He's a core part of your network. You could ask him. Did you talk to him about it? Maybe.

Well, no, that would be important. Well, don't ask him more. You're standing at the top of his staircase, though. That would be my recommendation. Or at least check it for Lurpack first. Anyway, anyway, I think that's about all the time we have for today. Just perfect, perfect press conference

to be like, projects hope. The hope is my mindset will be different. I have no thoughts whatsoever about the implication of my colleague. Thanks for coming. I have nothing. Project, hope, hey, maybe you can hope for an answer. Bye, everybody.

Yeah. This has been Kier's Corner. Bye, everyone. That's right. Anyway, anyway, no, that is actually all we have time for today. Thank you, Alice, for coming in with the button, though. Yeah, my pleasure. Yeah, yeah.

And we want to thank you all for listening. Remind you, there is a Patreon. We're going to be talking to YouTube's Abbey Thorn on the bonus. She's also some kind of podcast too. Excited to meet her. And we are going to be talking a little bit about voice over in AI. So it would be fun. And of course, we're launching our new Patreon show,

Karma with Starma, where Kirsta will be doing guided meditations, please. But we are launching a new show. Oh, Oli. Well, I know. Blue Factory. Oh, sorry. I thought you said we're watching a new show. Oh, fuck, have we done another years and years?

Is he done a second? No. Milo and I and Olga and Pierre have taken the Balthazar Speedboat concept and we're trying to do actual film YouTube stuff with it now. Yeah. We've made a podcast series. It's called Glue Factory. It's on the first episodes on YouTube right now.

Right now. Yeah. Yeah, you know all about it. Yeah, I have so many to date. Rotterdam is about to sell out on the 26th of January. Please, if you want to come to that, buy a ticket. My special taping of voicemail on 11th February in London is also selling very, very fast.

So please also buy tickets to that. I have Australia tour dates. Name a city in Australia. I'm probably gonna be there. Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, Newcastle, Canberra, Adelaide, Perth, those are all, all these dates you can get tickets. Also, Brighton on the 3rd of March and Leicester Comedy Festival on the 18th of February doing two shows. So, if you live in any of those cities, please buy tickets. Especially Brighton

I haven't sold that many tickets yet because I forgot to mention it to anyone. Oh, well, you should probably mention it. Yeah, I'm mentioning it now. Anyway, you are the target audience for the Brighton Show. That's all we have time for. We'll see you on the bonus. Bye, everyone. Bye. Thank you.