TRASHFUTURE - Trump Has Covid and Riley Let Us Run the Podcast Without Him

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

Yes. It happened. We’re laughing. We don’t have any high hopes for a positive impact, but we’re laughing because Trump has covid and it’s not looking good for America’s fattest, oldest, and dumbest president. Also, since Riley was on holiday, he let Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), and Nate (@inthesedeserts) run this episode themselves. You will probably appreciate Riley’s contributions to the show after hearing this -- but we hope you enjoy! If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture We support the London Renters Union, which helps people defeat their slumlords and avoid eviction. If you want to support them as well, you can here: https://londonrentersunion.org/donate Here's a central location to donate to bail funds across the US to help people held under America's utterly inhumane system: https://secure.givelively.org/donate/the-bail-project If you want one of our *fine* new shirts, designed by Matt Lubchansky, then e-mail trashfuturepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. £15 for patrons, £20 for non-patrons, plus shipping. *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind GYDS dot com). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Trash Future. I almost said what a hell of a way to die because it's so rare that I introduce an episode. What a hell of a way to trash. Exactly. What a trash of a way to die. Well, exactly. What a trash of a way to future. The point of this is, we might have the Riley Quinn appreciation hour in which we describe

how much we appreciate his thorough notes, his attention to detail, but something has happened. First of all, Riley's on holiday. Yeah. And secondly, Trump has COVID, the mail. So we are going to introduce ourselves. We are going to talk a little bit about the situation, and we're just going to talk about Trump having COVID and do a little military decision-making process about what we think

is going to happen. I am joined from an undisclosed location by Milo Edwards. Milo, how are you? Hey, it's me, boy. I have spent the entire day thinking about Bernie Mac because I thought of a bit earlier where it was like, if Trump survives the rona, because he obviously will, because Trump can't be killed. Trump's insides are like pate.

There's no blood. There's no organs. It's just fucking foie gras. He is like a fine grain paste. A virus cannot take hold in that, right? So he won't die, but he's given it to Biden, and Biden absolutely will die. And so I'm imagining a scenario where the DNC are forced to replace Biden through gritted teeth with Bernie Sanders, but they make like an administrative error and accidentally replace

him with Bernie Mac, who they have to raise from the dead. I was going to say, because he is dead, yes. And who just like, like zombie Bernie Mac is just smashing every debate by like talking about pulling out his shit in the whole room, get dark, and then saying, well, honestly, some news came out earlier that said that according to test results, Biden does not have it. Now how long does it take? I haven't got it, okay. Yeah, we don't know if Biden's actually got it or not.

But from what they're saying so far, I don't think Biden has it. However, Melania Trump has it. Before we go on, though, I also need to introduce other co-hosts, Hussain Kuzvani. What's up? Welcome to another episode of 10,000 Posts. Yeah. No, that would have felt, that would have been better because it was in reference to Nate almost saying there was hell of a way to die, so I thought we were just like intro-ing

our own shows. So Milo's just going to start speaking Russian. Yeah, we would all just like host our own shows, but on a trash-future stream. And the only way that it would sync up, because I feel like this is a rare configuration, right? I don't know if any of you watched Power Rangers, but on those very special episodes where you had the rare Megazord configurations, but it would only show up once. I feel like this is one of those moments.

So it would only make sense if we were all recording our own show on the stream, but then if you sped it up by 1.5. Yeah, because I think if Nate was trying to do hell of a way to die and you were trying to do 10,000 posts, the two of you could like sort of have a conversation that would make sense, whereas I would just be like responding to both of you in Russian and you would have to interpret what I said creatively. Yeah. And if you play it backwards, it says 666, Devil Incarnate, whatever, tattooed on my

dick. That's right. The point that also you may notice that Alice is not here. We haven't been able to raise her on any of our communications nets. Unlike Bernie Mac, who we have successfully net-cremanced. I'm only speaking in military terminology because I'm doing what a hell of a way to die right now. So we don't have Alice.

We don't have Riley. We don't have two core components of our normal podcast. However, we do have a story, a news story that is, let's be honest, unironically funny. It is fucking hilarious that Donald Trump has COVID. Let's just get that table setting completely clear. It is fucking hilarious. I woke up this morning. I talked to Cynthia.

She said Donald Trump has COVID and I was like, oh my fucking God, this rules. Yeah. It's sick. Let's just make sure that everyone understands that. Hussain, do you agree that it rules? Actually, the problem with the left is that they're too mean and they've just been mean to Donald Trump about having the coronavirus instead of offering him thoughts and prayers, which is what famous Marxist Rachel Maddow did this morning and I stand unequivocally

with her. It is very funny. My phone told me about this at an ungodly hour of the morning. I wasn't able to go to sleep after that. I've been in a bit of a daze all day, both because I haven't slept, but also just because this is so bizarre that I'm not really sure what to say or how to react because I don't know. It's kind of like, okay, well, the funny thing about Trump was that I was so amazed he didn't

get it earlier and there was a whole thing ages ago about how lots of people were convinced he did have it and they just weren't saying anything. That time when they thought he got it from Bolsonaro because Bolsonaro gets it about three times a week. Right. And also like Herman Cain had it and Herman Cain was at that like, well, Herman Cain died because of it. Died?

Yeah, exactly. That was a very famous rally because there were lots of infections during that time and Donald Trump shook a lot of hands and there were other rallies that he's done. I think there was one that he did in Florida, maybe, where he shook videos of him shaking hands as well. So I guess I was very surprised that he kind of did a very good run for a long time. I can see Trump a fucking rally in Florida going like, I'm very strong. Okay.

I'm not worried. I'm not worried about anything. I want each of you. I want each of you to come up here and cough right into my mouth. I want you to do it. Okay. I'm not worried. The Secret Service.

They're going to stand back. They're going to stand back. Very brave guys there. Very, very big guys. They're going to stand back and you're going to cough in my mouth. Okay. I just had this idea that Donald Trump was like so into the idea that America made the best tear gas that he made them deploy tear gas on Air Force One and everyone was just

coughing on each other in a sealed container. And that's how he got it because he wasn't content with the risk he was taking already. So he's like, no, I really want to make it more dangerous because I want to prove Corona isn't real. And also this beautiful American tear gas needs to be, I want to breathe it in. I want to taste it. I can imagine Trump being like immune to tear gas because of his diet over so many years. He's just like, he's consumed so many like preservatives and so on that his lungs are

incapable of absorbing. Yeah, the insides are kind of like foie gras, but they're also like diet coke as well. I was thinking about that. You know how people do enough Coke that like eventually because Coke does like break down to hydrochloric acid, there are people who literally have like holes in their septum. Like that their nose basically like the bridge between the two nostrils gets dissolved from too much cocaine. I was laughing and thinking about like what kind of like purified substance McDonald's

and KFC must break down to if you just overdose on it constantly and that's what Donald Trump like Donald Trump's veins pump that and so we don't really know how COVID is going to affect him. The inside of Donald Trump's veins is just the guy on YouTube who makes sausages out of everything. Well, I was remembering reading that story that like Donald Trump, he's so opposed to eating healthily that like the White House chefs were trying to sneak cauliflower into his food.

I can't remember what they were trying to sneak it into like it's mac and cheese or something just like give him something that's not dog shit and he fucking refuses to have it because he's like, no, I need McDonald's, I need a huge Diet Coke, I need a huge thing of KFC and then I'm going to go sit on my golden toilet after and howl like the goddamn chupacabra. That's what I do. That's what's going to kill him. If he starts eating vegetables, he'll be dead within a week.

He needs to keep eating the preservatives. He's like an alcoholic that if he goes cold turkey, he will die exactly like literally delirium tremens or whatever will fucking kill him. If Donald Trump stops eating like shit, then time will catch up with him all at once like the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I get delirium tremens if I don't podcast for a whole week. Yeah, well, Hussein, there's something we've got to point out, though, because you touched upon this a second ago, which is that although we have acknowledged that it's unironically

funny, lots of people don't want us to laugh. And now, all right, we get it, but conservatives don't want us to laugh because, yes, they're going to fucking be sanctimonious and blah, blah, blah, God, God, speed, our brave troop, Donald Trump, et cetera, et cetera. That's table stakes. But another group of people doesn't want us to laugh. The Libs. The goddamn Libs.

We're always yelling. We're just fucking yelling about them nonstop. We just shake our fists. Like in 2008, the whole joke about just Libs, Libs was a fucking parody. Now that's us in real life, Bernie Mac screaming about the Libs. I guess it's like this thing of like on the one hand, the option like this is a very predictable thing for them to say, because again, like, you know, before the whole COVID thing, because the precursor to all this is obviously like the debate, right?

And the thing that I took away from all that is the fact that like no one has learned anything for the past four years. So like, you know, we knew that like the DNC is like playing with the same like playbook, but even kind of, you know, the interpretations about, oh, you know, how can suburban mothers vote for Trump because he's so rude on stage? You know, he's so mean to people in public. How could they ever vote for him? Look at Biden.

He's so polite and, you know, he's sassy and he does like delivers the kind of like very feeble one-liners, which lots of lots of British pundits are not naming names. Tan Hodges were were were like very pleasantly cheering him on for. There's yeah, I feel like there's this whole thing that no one's really learned anything for the past four years. And like the main thing is that lips just really want the norms back. And this was really, this is really an example of that. It's very much like, you know, we want the norms.

And even if that means that, you know, we have to say nice things about Donald Trump because we have to say nice things about the presidency. But what I'm not sure whether they realize it or not, but it just comes off as really weird. Yeah. Because also I think that like the people who say they don't understand why the suburban moms vote for Donald Trump have just like never never understood like the Trump red meat, right? Is it like his yeah, he does say a lot of like really fucking weird misogynist shit.

But also he will just come out at that rally and fucking like fuck Oklahoma somewhere and just say like, I'm just going to say the ladies, the vote for me. I know, you know, the ones, the ones, the ones between 40 and 50. I'm telling you, they've got the tightest pussies in the whole country. And people are just fucking throwing the hats in the air and screaming like, like Biden can't top that. He can't do it. Yeah. Like the thing that gets me, though, is just.

I understand the civility politics, but I feel as though the civility politics also keeps biting people in the ass in the sense that I want to just dream together. The three of us dream together. What would happen if Jeremy Corbyn tested positive for coronavirus? What would he's going to he's going to go to coronavirus? You know why he's got a coronavirus because he hates Britain. And what he wants to do is he wants to give it to the queen because he's been given permission from his friends in the IRA.

What are also in a mass? See, the thing about it is, is imagine the cry, laugh, bunion, jack emoji, Twitter, a phenomenon Hussain absolutely knows deep in his heart very well, who could maybe even explain it in a second. Imagine what would happen if Corbyn got it? Basically, literally the BBC would be like, oh, I think Diane Abbott miscounted the number of masks. No, no, no, no, no, like it's basically that shit.

Yeah, like nonstop beyond have I got news for you. Yeah, exactly. It would be because the idea of being willing, being enough of a dupe to fall for civility politics when it only ever extends to the right makes me incredibly mad. And so I just feel like knowing that the idea that people are going to try to get into the have you no decency shit about anyone on the right, but certainly about Donald Trump is a goddamn joke.

So Hussain, before we talk about some premium lib tweets, I'm just wondering who are cry, laugh, emoji, Union Jack Twitter. I'm so glad that this has become Britain, like Britonology. This is every one of our podcast moves together. We are we are the sausage guy YouTube. But to understand cry, laugh, understand cry, laugh, emoji, you first have to understand the geography of Dart for now. I'm just joking.

Right, you have to understand the geography of Thames meet specifically. That's right. You do actually have to do that. I don't really know how to describe it in a very succinct way. But what is it is more of an observation, which is that there is a particular kind of account that uses a combination of particular emojis that sort of make every kind of tweet just infuriating because the post is so it's almost as if you can't respond to them, because you know immediately that if they use these emojis, they don't know how to respond to you.

Or like, you don't know how like, you know that what you're going to have is like an unhinged conversation, but also that like these people who use it are just kind of incredibly, they're posting energy is so kind of chaotic that you like you can't defeat them. And the British and the British flag, I think, is kind of like indicative of what it is, which is, you know, this kind of performance of online patriotism. But the cry, laugh, emoji, I think is something special because the cry, laugh, emoji is like used by basically, I think the worst people online.

They are used by boomers. They are used by lots of kind of like right wing pundit people. It's almost as like a signal, like, you know, if you use like a cry, laugh, emoji, I don't know, like you guys like must have had responses from guys who do cry, laugh, emojis, right? And they're used by those like, like the self styled, like right wing comedians who play to like rooms full of dads, like fucking Lee Hurst, like the baldest man who has ever lived.

Like he's the only man that's bolder than Dave Courtney. Like, and he just, he does the constant, like he'll tweet something like, ah, like Muslim should be killed. And then people will be like, you're a sniveling little worm of a cunt. And then he'll just reply and be like, ah, see, I've riled the libs again or whatever it is. And then like 14 cry, laughing emojis. You go into like Owen Jones's response, like replies to any tweet that he does.

You will find a handful of people who use the cry, laugh, emoji. And like it's almost one which is just very much like they are trying to, I mean, like it's obviously like it's deliberately insulting, but I feel like what they try to do with the cry, laugh, emoji is to make themselves feel like they're not bullying people or make themselves feel like they're not kind of being awful. So they'll say something like absolutely horrible. Like one of my, one of my all time favorite tweets of this genre was just

some account of like a guy, like a van guy. He was like, one of those guys were like, his avi was him wearing a very tight striped polo shirt with sunglasses, very pink face. And his arms were folded and behind him was his van. Like this was blue van. And he said something along the lines of like, you know, it was like to do with like immigrants, like illegal immigrants. And he goes, yeah, like, you know, I wouldn't even deport them.

That's too expensive. Just like build a bridge and let them go into the sea cry, laugh, emoji, cry, laugh, emoji. And it's kind of like, it's one of these genres. It's just like, just like British boomers who kind of call for genocides. But they do it in this really kind of, I don't even want to say it's flippant. It's just this really bizarre type of format, which just makes the person who's reading it feel very unsettled.

So it's like incredibly effective. Yeah. It's sort of like, you know, the, the Nazis kind of like, because of the era that they were in, you know, they didn't, they didn't have to like debase themselves to this level of cringe. Yeah, that's another, yeah. Kind of like evil in a sort of aloof way. Yeah.

Have you guys ever heard of, you know, Beyonce's fan club online, the Beehive, if you piss them off, they will get your mentions and destroy you and they'll post lots of be emojis as well. It's sort of like that. It's just like, but a really bald British version of it. Yes. Just like they're all boomers, you know, they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll type stuff out and very, it's just like some of the most.

This reads like that Ray Bradbury story where you kill the wrong Tyrannosaurus when you travel back in time and then you come back and English is unintelligible. Like it's basically that level of deranged, but it's always that marker. What's interesting about it is like, they also like taps into a very interesting part of British psyche too, right? Which is that we know on trash reaches last personology that British people just like don't like enjoying things.

I feel like they just don't, they don't like joy, but they also don't like other people experiencing joy. So the Kryla, nothing makes them angrier than people being happy. I don't like nonces, but I can't imagine a future without the nonces because without the nonces, ooh, we ate. I mean, that is basically like, that is actually a very good observation of the British psyche. But like, yeah, it's big.

What would you have with a pie without a nonce? So like, so like the cry, it's not a ying and yang, if you will. You've got to have one with the other in every man. There are two wolves, one is a pie and one is a nonce. They're locked in a sort of eternal struggle for supremacy, but neither can achieve a final victory because they exist in a kind of dialectically opposed and yet absolutely symbiotic relationship, which holds them in a kind of homeostasis, but not in a gay way.

What you've got to realise is there cannot be one without the other because you can't be happy if you're not angry. You can't love a pie without a nonces. So when you get down to it, it's not, it's not enough to feel happy without feeling an angry at nonces. I can't even have sex with my wife anymore without thinking about bashing a nonce's head in with a bunch of jelly deals. Well, there's the thing, right?

Here's the thing, is that is who you are up against. You are up against a sort of like due genocide cry lab emoji. Hang the travellers cry out emoji and then we're trying to appeal to civility and be like, you're not allowed to make Donald Trump COVID. That's what I was going to say was valid. The cry laugh emoji, which is actually like the initial rate is actually called like the tears of joy emoji. It's not even cry laugh.

It's the emoji you post after you bash a nonce's head in. That's the only. Then you smell the smell of the pie after bashing the nonces. That's the only kind of joy that I feel like British people actually allow other people to have, right? You know, it is a joy that comes only from deriding people on the Internet using like either your anonymous account or your like extremely dad British Boomer account that your daughter like set up before she'd left home for good.

I guess the thing for me is more like when I see that stuff, I realize that, you know, that there's no there's no shame. There's no, you know, bashfulness about saying all the horrible shit that they believe. And so to me, it feels like it's a fool's errand to try and argue that there's this notion of civility that has to be returned to. I just think the Internet, obviously, social media, etc. has just accelerated the rate at which a, people are able to share it and B, people are able to realize there are basically no consequences for sharing it.

And as a result, you know, Donald Trump is a manifestation of that. And I think that the right word slide across the world is a manifestation of that in concert with some of the economic forces that have been taking place across our lifetimes. But I also think that if you're only reply, if you're only, you know, repost to this phenomenon is to call for civility, you're basically appealing to, I don't know if you have hall monitors in Britain, British schools, but you're basically appealing to an authority and saying, look how good I am, look how bad they are, as if that's going to make a fucking difference.

And that's the thing that gets me about some of these responses we've been seeing. And I do want to talk about them, although I feel like it was important to discuss the, you know, the the British oraboros of loving pie and hating nonces. I think is like to close out the point on LibBrain. I think that there's something about LibBrain, which is like they're all these people who have like successful newspaper columns or whatever. And like, I think the American lives in the British lives are sort of very similar in terms of like they're they're like they're headline guys who are doing

like the headbanging about fucking, you know, whatever the lib shit is this week. And it's like they've spent their whole lives training for a situation which no longer exists. And so they're sort of desperately like they kind of like they would they would went to go did all these prestige degrees and whatever so that they could be in the West Wing. But now the West Wing isn't how politics is anymore. And so they're sort of desperately trying to make it the West Wing, even though all that they're getting in response is just like clods of human shit flung in their face.

And they're more furious at the people who are pointing out to them that they're having shit thrown at them than they are at the people throwing the shit. And because what they fail to acknowledge really is that we're in we're in the situation from the dark night, right? It's like all of the people who aren't cunts are on one boat and all of the people who are on who are cunts are in the other boat. And each boat is holding the detonator for the bomb on the other boat, right? And it's basically who's going to push it first.

But like the cunt boat has been pushing their detonator for a while. It's like obviously slightly malfunctioning or something. So you've got to pick your boat. It's either that or you are the Joker. Like those are the three options you have. And we have chosen to be the Joker. Yeah. Well, I mean, I look at this. So the first thing that I saw basically so I was I was talking to Cynthia about this this morning.

And I basically said like she was like, you know, there's a lot of stuff where you probably want to be careful about what you say, what you retweet, what you fave. Because the unless you're a white dude with a cynical job, it is possible that some of that live, you know, decency politics shit is going to come back to you. And people are going to try to like the right famously opposed to cancel culture, you know, the Andrew Doyle's and Douglas Murray's of the world.

We'll absolutely try to get you fired. And and like their whole shtick is just, you know, very like, you know, joyfully fucking licking the lollipop from mummy after they been presented with an example of their own cognitive dissonance and just pretend it doesn't exist. And so what gets me about it is like, all right, you have to be careful like there's an extent to which people can't just rejoice in a shit. All right, I get it. I understand.

But to me, in a situation like that, if I were a live, I would just say nothing. But instead, I would not browbeat people. I would not fucking just be like, oh, how dare you? Oh, oh, the left doing it again. You know, that kind of shit. I wouldn't do it. I would just fucking say nothing. I would just be like, damn, these I would walk down the fucking street. Buy some goddamn cupcakes and from my incredibly expensive apartment

and like, I don't know, lower Manhattan or the fuck Rachel Maddow lives and be like, these cupcakes are hitting pretty fucking good this morning. I would do that. I don't pretend nothing had happened. But instead, we get the following. And I'm just going to read this and then we shall react. OK, love to react. All right. Rachel Maddow says, God bless the president and the first lady.

If you pray, please pray for their speedy and complete recovery and for everyone infected everywhere. This virus is horrific and merciless. No one would wish its wrath on anyone. We must get it spread under control enough. Wow. If Rachel Maddow got covid, do you know what Trump and the rest of the people would say? Bad ratings, bad ratings. Mal owned.

I don't know who that woman is. But I hear I hear actually that her show is very bad. It's not a very good show. That's what I've heard. I hope that she doesn't die of the virus, although I think she seems very weak. It seems like it might carry her off. That's what I'm here. People don't want to hear it, but that's that's what I've heard from the medical professionals that I've spoken to.

They say that people with shows with very bad ratings. They're very, very vulnerable. It's a very, it's very sad, actually. Or like more likely she wouldn't know who she is. Because you know, like even when Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, he I don't think he knew who she was until like someone that ruled so much. And like lots of people, lots of like the same lips were like praising him for like, oh, look, you know, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was such a respected figure in America,

that even the most divisive president has like, you know, good things to say about her. But if you watch the video carefully, it's like, no, he didn't know who she was. You can just see the video like jumping around because of the bits they've had to cut out, where he's like, she was an amazing wish. Yet again, it can't. But I met her once, she gave me a hand job. What I was going to say, like to Nate's point is like something that we talk about on like 10,000 posts all the time, which is that, you know, there's this tweet that goes around quite often,

which is like, oh, if I had like a billion dollars, I would just delete my Twitter account and never post again. And it's like, no, you would you would still post because a lot of people have like posting addictions. And it doesn't matter how like good they live and how great their material conditions are, they will still post because they are addicted to posting. And Rachel Maddow is like one of these types of commentators who is addicted to posting. So she has to say something. But I think there's also like a performative element to it as well, which is that like again, this is something that the right has been doing for the past four years.

And it like it has been effective every single time, which is that whenever like people don't say anything, they will make a big deal about, oh, look, you know, the liberals or like we say, you know, the left aren't kind of like offering their well wishes to the president, which like means that they're just kind of sinister. But when they do offer these things, like the right will even not respond or they'll still say the same thing, which is like, I think I saw a couple of things, which was along the lines of, you know, Rachel Maddow might be offering prayers and sympathies to Trump right now, but she's been so mean to him in the past and all that stuff. So like they will still rat fuck you in some way or another.

And like the liberals keep falling for it. And it's kind of like, yeah, the best option is not to say anything, but again, there is this kind of tendency to kind of post stuff partly because of posting addiction and partly because like for the past four years, the right has repeatedly like set the boundaries and set the frameworks of how like we discuss a presidency or like a governing governing system like this and every single time liberals have fallen for it. But I guess something that I would point out is that, all right, Donald Trump is in many ways directly responsible for the deaths of about a quarter million, including Herman Cain,

including Herman Cain, including Herman Cain, a guy who literally was right or died. I just want to say that he was like the best president, like Republican presidential candidate in the world for one reason alone, which is that he quoted the Pokemon movie in his resignation speech. Yes, he got offered up and sacrificed from all in the end. Because he just best the thing. None of these people matter. Trump doesn't know who they are.

He doesn't give a fuck, especially about the people who are like his fans. Like he's like the even like people that he works with like every day for like four years, he doesn't remember their name. He doesn't give a flying fuck. Like you could replace them with like an animatronic dildo tomorrow and he would not care. He doesn't even I mean, there's an extent to which you wonder if Trump even has object permanence. But it's just one of those things where I just I watched this happen and I watch people fall all over themselves.

And I think that's actually a good point you raised, Hussain, which is that think about the extent to which when you don't make the statement, if you're a public figure, then OK, then you're doing something wrong. And if you do make the statement, it's not good enough. I think this is in a way a permutation of what I'd call Jeremy's law, which is that Jeremy Corbyn not making a fucking statement or fucking sympathy for Donald Trump. And then when he does, it's like, Jeremy Corbyn is probably he's mad. He's not killed enough people in Israel or something like that.

Invariably, whatever you say is wrong. And then if you don't say anything, it's also wrong. I love to be mad about that for a politician. I'm very I'm very excited for there to be some British posters with like suspiciously straight fringes posting takes like whilst I may disagree with Donald Trump, I think the welcoming his infection with the virus. It's frankly disgusting, because if nothing else, he has stood with adult human females against the introduction of dangerous sex offenders into their bathrooms.

Yes, I mean, like I said, you you lie down with these people, then you're obviously obligated to a wake up with Feliz to complete the metaphor and B defend them when they do poor and terrible fucking shit. Another example of this one that I found was if you're familiar with Liz Smith, LIS Smith, of course, the former buta, gedge campaign manager. The four to boomerge boomerge ball. If you like your let poisoning, you can keep it. Liz Smith, who was a Republican for a long time, was just a Republican.

And also, it was like replying to her own tweets with an all. Wasn't that a thing? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That whole phenomenon, a garbage shit to your person is basically mad at people for laughing about Trump. And she she responded to people criticizing her by saying people dying isn't fun. Because we were saying, don't spoil the fun. It's hilarious that Trump has COVID.

All right, it is hilarious. Trump has COVID. We have we have scientifically proven this. But the thing that gets me is I do think and Milo, you and Hussein both brought this up that the West Wing brain is such a deeply cursed and true thing that the extent to which people believe that if they just believe in civility and balance hard enough in the same way that, for example, recently, Nancy Pelosi, the the Democratic Majority Leader, the Speaker of the House of Representatives basically said that America needs a good and just

and functioning Republican Party. Oh, fucking doesn't need that. Also, that is a fucking that is a contradiction in terms. Like the very nature of the Republican Party is that it's like a completely venal and corrupt institution. Like there's no way that like the Republican Party with like its stated aims and values can be anything otherwise. Because any party with any hint of a moral compass would not be the Republican Party.

I mean, people were joking that like there was there was a study. I don't remember the university. I believe it was a European university. It might have been a British university. I don't know who did like a plotting chart basically to based on policies and based on platform, a stated goals, etc. Like chart out the levels of basically left wing, right wing and xenophobic, not xenophobic natures of different parties around the world.

And like the Republican Party was basically just a massive outlier with basically the Truth and Justice Party in Turkey and Fadash in Hungary. And it's like so the idea that American needs that is insane. And so but that's that it's that same West Wing brain phenomenon. And I feel like Liz Smith basically saying you're not allowed to laugh at Trump getting coronavirus. Well, there are lots of big Turkish posters coming out in favor of Trump today. I mean, it's just it's such a I don't know how to say it, man.

Like it's once again, appealing to an authority that you believe A exists and B has power that is going to somehow reward you for behaving so well. You you you refuse to stoop to the bullies level. Well, the the bullies pulled your trousers down and called you a doo doo ass. And do you think that is somehow going to win? And it's like, I don't know how many times this has to happen to people before they acknowledge that there is no benefit to be gained from staring down, you know, a situation that if if anything, it's fucking poetic,

just as Jesus Christ and saying, I won't stoop to that level. That's that's inhumane. No, it's because acknowledging the reality of the situation gives them more psychic damage than actually just constantly being like brow beaten by their opponents, because even though they would fare better if they were to like admit to themselves that like the entire way that they've gone about politics for the last 20 years is just wrong and they're fucking lost. Like to do that would give them so much of a fucking brain hemorrhage

that they would rather just keep being like shat on from a great height by like the world's dumbest fail, sons. Like, I don't know what it would be like to get owned every day of my life by Donald Trump, Jr. Like the man whose brain is like made of like the slop that Wendy's throws out. Like, I don't know what that would feel like. But I imagine like when you've done it for long enough, you have to rationalize it to yourself, right?

If you if you start to admit that you never needed to do that in the first place, that's a dangerous path to go down. That kind of reminds me of, you know, rest in peace. David Graber's comment that one of the reasons why people in the British, let's say the labor right in the center, hated momentum and hated Corbyn so much was that if they didn't have to sell out like complete fucking losers, you know, being the last generation who were allowed to sell, who had the ability to sell out, if Corbyn and Momentum's politics proved

that this wasn't necessary all along and you could actually win with a left platform, then it basically made them realize that like they had to create this fantasy of these being Stalinists who wanted to put them in a gulag because in their heart, they knew they probably deserved to be in a gulag. And it's the same kind of phenomenon. If you realize that you've been a chump this entire time, you've been playing on their terms the entire time, you've been letting them define even the words you're going to fucking use

in the political debate the whole time and you never had to, then that's in a way conceding that you're just bad at politics. But I wanted to ask you a question, Hussain. This thought came to mind and and and we can cut this out if you don't want to answer this question, but I was going to say that it strikes me that when you look at look at Britain, for example, and you see how the Labour Party under Keir Starmer has basically decided to say, well, if we extend too much solidarity to Muslims and people in Basingstoke

might not like us anymore. But like this is the same phenomenon that that will brow the people for not being like Mogadishu at this point. You know what I'm saying? Like basically you should feel bad for laughing at Trump getting covid. But these are the same people who are like, oh, we can't we can't extend too much solidarity to Muslims and immigrants because then then Baza and Gaza, who have, you know, basically the one private shooting

range in Britain, where you can only shoot at Jeremy Corbyn shaped targets are somehow not going to vote for us, even though like they've never got you can get a great pie and a nonce down in Basingstoke. Oh, absolutely. Does the does the excuse me? Does the does the nonce come with the pie or is that like a separate side order? Because I've noticed you do have nonces listed under sides.

Well, I don't want to order one if there's one coming with the pie. Yeah, I want to nonce a smack, you know, and a wet pee. Oh, yeah, I have a pee where a smack bomb, pee where I haven't even been able to get that video out of my head like all day. So funny how shocked Americans are by that shit. I just forget that like they don't know that I'm fucking responsible for that. Man, did you see what happened? Because literally I made the joke about the fucking Christmas dinner in a tin thing.

And I was like, this could literally be real or fake. That's what I love about Britain. Yeah, that is definitely fake because that was doing the rounds. He is a guy and a guy added me and was like, well, no one seems to have wanted to do anything about smack bar and pee wet. And I'm going to keep yelling it from the rooftops until I do until they do. And I saw that video. I was like, oh, my God, you must be joking.

And then like six hours later, everyone in the US was talking about it. I couldn't fucking understand it. So yes, I too have had my mind blown by smack bar and pee wet. But I made the point to the guy who did the video that if you're an American and your conception of Britain is, you know, Dave Courtney's accent and the Queen's accent, you've never heard a scouse accent. You've never heard a guy from Wigan. You've never, you don't know what BAP or fucking buddy means.

The idea of someone coming in and be like, well, see what's this chat? Smack bar and pee wet. It's no peace. Just wet. It's going to completely blow your mind. Like people were watching that video and being like, I don't understand it without the subtitles or with the subtitles. Yeah, I was thinking about like the Kirstalmer stuff that you just said now. And it's weird because I don't really have like a take on it, mainly because

as well as on Keith, where? Well, yeah, that's a great username. Yeah, I was I was I was going to say that like he hasn't really said much on anything. So all of this is kind of just like implied on the basis that like, well, he's not saying. So like, you know, very recently, for example, like Labour MP Naz Shah won a settlement with leave.eu because leave.eu like and they did this like for a long time, they kind of like took a they took it like a joke that she had made on Twitter and made it appear as if like she was supporting

grooming gangs and anyone like with half a brain could see. But like that was clearly not happening. But leave. Fortunately, all of their followers were well below the half brain mark. So yeah, I mean, you know, they they they they they were just like well-meaning folk from Basingstoke. What would you need two of the brain for to trick children into having sex with you? That's right. That's what I think.

That's right. That's what that's also what I think. You know, and this this kind of thing had been going around for ages. So like when Naz Shah like won the settlement and the apology from leave.eu, the fact that like, you know, I didn't really see anything from either Keith Stammer or the Labour Party sort of kind of is more to show like what they think their priorities are, but at the same time, we also really haven't heard much about like what the new priorities of Labour. So like, you know, there are lots of kind of Stammer supporters on Twitter

who like just point to the fact that like he's doing slightly better in the polls than Boris Johnson at the moment. And they're kind of indicating that as being like, oh, you know, Jeremy Corbyn could never could never could never get to this level. And again, it kind of just goes show that we've really learned nothing in the past. Apart from in like 2017. We also go show that we haven't really learned anything in the past four years because after kind of so long of being told that like even when Corbyn was

doing very well in the polls, but you know, polls don't really matter. Like, look what happened in America in 2016. Again, the same columnists and the same columnist class for like Keith but who are obsessed with 538 polls showing that like Biden will be Trump are kind of pointing towards these polls as like evidence that, you know, and just saying, you know, get rid of the Trotskyites, get rid of the hard left and like, you know, you'll see these numbers without sort of realising. But like, no, there's there's no historical trend to kind of show that any of this

you have to get rid of the Nazis, you idiots. That's the thing that that's the thing that gets me to also just to interrupt is that like, they always look at those polls and say, look, see, there are only two points behind ignoring that Labour was at one point, eight points ahead under Corbyn, but also not acknowledging the most important point, which is that even with the worst death rate in Europe and the worst economic contraction amongst developed countries, the Tories are still pulling 40 percent and always and also it doesn't matter because the Tories have got like

five, you know, they've got like just shy of five years, right? You know, because they have like the fixed term parliament. So none of the polls actually matter at this point. Yeah. And they've also got all the fucking like lead poisoned boomers who are like 40 percent approval for just like build a concentration camp in the middle of the Atlantic, like the tour is going to literally do anything. And like, I think I don't think anyone seriously thinks that fucking Sir Keith is going to win an election.

All they want is for him to like lose with dignity in a way that like doesn't hurt their feelings. It's not even like it's not even that they're enjoying this moment right now because this moment right now is one where the kind of thing that he is doing is kind of showing very publicly that he's getting rid of, you know, he's getting rid of the left. He's getting rid of like what remains of the left in the party. They, you know, jump with joy when, you know, people who were kind of are supporting Corbyn or were kind of like advocating for

He's asked Chris who they are and he's getting rid of them. You know, where they just kind of publicly like say that, you know, I'm not a member of the Labour Party anymore. Like that's the stuff that like the kind of like liberal columnist people want. They don't, you know, any sort of like any sort of over talk about, you know, wanting just a unified party and that both sides could work together. It was never true. And we knew that it was never true to begin with.

And this is evidence that it's not true. You know, one of the things that happened this week, and I'm not sure if you ever you guys saw this, was kind of like the fetishization about like awful Neil Kinnick speech. Oh, yeah. I mean, they do that every year. Neil Kinnick was such a fucking charisma void. Imagine like holding up Neil Kinnick as like, this is what you could have had. Like he lost an election because he fell in the fucking sea.

Like he's a fucking donkey. Neil Kinnick speech where he like publicly like decries and publicly like denounces like the hard, you know, the hard last of the party who are mostly like rock hard throbbing. The Labour Council. Yeah, mostly trade unionists. I mean, I remember the story where he went Corbyn. If I remember correctly, I think it was Corbyn won the Leadership Challenge,

the Leadership Competition in 2015 or the Leadership Challenge in 2016. But there was a period in which Kinnick came in and basically screamed at the parliamentary Labour Party and someone recorded it. And he was yelling and screaming about like, you know, the the supermarket test that we can't we can't dare put forth something like this that nobody would dare support this is going to destroy our party. We went through this before in the 80s or, you know, with the Benites. And I remember listening to the speech.

I'm like, this sounds like the Hitler reacts speech from downfall. This sounds like genuinely this is like take a fucking horrible fucking Wales accent and put it on a guy and just, you know, a guy with like the weirdest bald but also has hair hair could ever seen in my life and just, you know, translated into English. But at its heart, it really just is that's fine. Like, it's just that like, what makes you think that's charismatic? It's insane and sucked off by the left.

They want these days. These days. Well, this is the thing is like, I'm like, I don't know, it's so wrongheaded. Like, as ever, we are just like a poor, a poor reflection of like the same shit that's going on in America, because like the only way that fucking Keith can actually win is the same way that Biden can win, which is by just like the other the other team fucking up so badly that they can't lose because they're never going to win on their own merits because he can't offer

anyone anything like he's just going to come out and be like, well, I think it's very important that a lot of people are very concerned about the grooming gangs. And, you know, if you want to smack bomb P wet, I think that's fine. I think that's you have to accommodate a spectrum of smack bomb and P wet. Well, here's the other thing too. Like, you know, I recently did this like piece about Q and line in the UK. And like one of the most common things that I found while I was researching

that was the fact that like, you know, when this particular group of very influential people, by the way, think about Keith Stammer, they think about him as the guy who let the pedos run fit, run free. And I don't see how and I don't see how like that won't stick to him. And like why how like, you know, five years time when there's an election because like there is absolutely no way I, you know, I could be wrong. I've been wrong about a lot of stuff. Um, but, you know, I don't see how like after any election that like the

80 strong Tory majority will call. But like that won't, you know, his kind of like history as the director of public prosecutions, how like that won't like stick to him and how like that all like the kind of, you know, even how like his tenure there will be misinterpreted and, you know, how like nothing will be, you know, I don't know. It's just, it's just like one of those things where like, I can really foresee that being real sticking cultural issue. Because again, like one of the things that we're seeing with the Tory party as,

you know, they are like trying to manage what is the fact that we're one of the worst, if not the worst, like COVID-19 responses in the world is the fact that they're really leaning hard on cultural issues. And that's going to, and that will absolutely be like the continued strategy going forward. That's all that Britain has been since fucking 2016 is just cultural. That's the only like everything is just like the way that the way that like Brexit's going, I had like a minor meltdown to myself about Brexit the other

day, because I had to renew my passport and they've sent me one of the fucking stupid Brexit fucking blue passports. Oh, my God, what's it like? Well, the thing that, I mean, it's just kind of, it's fairly standard, but like the thing that they've made them blue again to like, you know, finally turn the sort of puce boomers down to a sort of slightly lighter shade of crimson, right? But ironically, like now, because it used to say passport at the top and then it or passport at the bottom and United Kingdom of Great Britain and

Northern Ireland at the top, but now it says British passport at the top and then like, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland at the bottom. And for something to me, just about the fact that it now says British passport on it, it just had such a like beautifully baz cadence. It's my passport. It's British. Like I'd sort of, I don't know. There's just something about the whole thing is just so fucking stupid.

Like there's no, like when I just need to fucking want the fucking blue passports back, like you stupid fucking cunts. It's a fucking buyer passport cover. I don't give a shit. Like why, why are you taking out your fucking years of inadequacies about like Tracy's runoff with the tennis coach or whatever the fuck it is on like the future of this entire country. It's so mad.

And it's so mad that like every, every news organization, everyone in the country just has to like, has to just treat these people as though they have a point and they don't, they don't have a point. I mean, it's the same way that I feel about Jesus Christ. I mean, bringing it back to the sit in America, some of the things that I saw people brow beating people about for Trump, like were people unironically praising a statement from Bill O'Reilly, you know, like America's angry dad, like the slightly cleaned up version of Archie Bunker from all in the family

that was on Fox news for forever until he was literally fired because it was revealed that he would regularly call female co-hosts from Fox news and jack off while talking to them on the phone. Like, do I want to take more advice from like, you know, fucking the hog cranker? No, I don't. I don't give a fuck what he thinks. But I seriously saw people who purport themselves to be the adults in the room sharing a tweet that he wrote where he says, if you feel glad that Donald

and Melania Trump are ill, then you have a sickness too. And while most recover from COVID, the disease of enjoying the suffering of others is rarely defeated. That disease is called evil. All right, two things. Well, shit, Bill, I I wonder if there's a political party in America that really loves people suffering. Who could that fucking be?

And secondly, why on earth would anyone read that? I'd be like, I want to take advice from that guy, a guy who did more to fan fucking the sort of like soft, respectful, respectable version of birtherism than basically anybody else besides Glenn Beck in America. And I'm like, oh, but here's the point. People are being mean. Fuck it. I don't give a shit.

I'm laughing. I hope Donald Trump dies of COVID. That would make me fucking laugh. I would laugh my ass off. However, the thing that concerns me about it is the same thing we're talking about here with regard to culture wars. Shit is that because of the fact that in Britain, in America, elsewhere in the world, the only response is this notion that, you know, if people are loud

and insane, then you have to give them a certain wide berth and platform to espouse what they believe because otherwise you're being unfair. Somehow it's like they don't believe in being fair. Like the whole point about fascism is you exploit the weakness of liberalism and the willingness to hear things out until you can murder everyone. And then you murder them all. And then you don't worry about them anymore. And you could have your weird gay Nazi Eagle shit.

You know, you can you can have like the put all the 10 year old boys and fucking the weird sexy Boy Scout shit of the Hitler youth. You get to do all that. You could do your fascism shit. You get to like discover the lost Ark of the Covenant or whatever the fuck they want to do. Like, uh, you don't actually have a offensive to describe the sexy Boy Scouts as weird.

This is part of our culture. And quite frankly, I mean, there was another tweet. This is the last of the responses I want to read. I just found from some dumb right dumb ass right wing comedian named Nicole Arbor, who is of course Canadian also, because Canada exports two things, maple syrup and right wing people. Um, very, very, very unique microclimate. Yeah, it does indeed.

Trump getting COVID, she says, is the best thing to happen to America. He'll recover quick and it'll prove once and for all how stupid the lockdown is and everyone can reopen. What the fuck, man? Just they had fucking Isabelle Oak shot on the radio talking about it. This morning, you know, I had to explain to my mom who is about Oak shot is, and I just felt my brain melting as I was attempting to do it. Cause it's just, they just said, oh, we've got Isabelle Oak shot on.

And I just went, oh, fuck. And my mom was like, why? Who is that? And I'm like, you don't want to know. She slid into my DMs once. I've told this story before, right? Not like, you know, it was a very, it was a very weird thing. But like we, you know, a friend of the show or like,

Tengential friend of the show, Mark Stefano. It was, it was, it was the ox. Yes, it was the, it was, it was the, it was the, it was the Oxford Parkway thing where I convinced her that like, Mark Stefano was parking in the disabled bays of Oxford Parkway. So she, so she slid into my DMs and was like, um, like, have you seen him before? And I was like, yeah, all the time, like, you know, he, he parked at the disabled bay because she had gotten really mad about car parking spaces.

And like her thing was like, there are too many car park, like disabled car parking spaces at Oxford Parkway. I don't know whether you guys have ever been to Oxford Parkway before, but it's a huge car park. It's a huge car park, right? Cause it's a huge station. Um, so it's like something that you don't really need to complain about, but she was complaining about like people with two legs or like people who

like weren't disabled, uh, had to walk for longer than people who were disabled. So she slid into my DMs and she says, like, oh, can you go to Oxford Parkway and just like, you know, take a picture next time he does this. And I said to her, like, for you, Isabelle, I do anything. And then she sends me like this wink kiss emoji. Well, you know what? I asked, I asked cool in the gang and they basically sang a song in response, which was Tories are hot for Hussain.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah, exactly. They love people. I think, I think everyone on the podcast has had a dalliance with a hot Tory apart from Nate, probably. Yeah. That's not happening. Oh, yeah.

Anyway, I mean, like, I feel like you've had a few like close shaves. Yeah. Well, I mean, here's the thing, right? I feel as though the part of the point that you're getting to there that I think all of us are getting to is that in a, in this situation, like this was just a, which, you know, is, is evidence of a larger crisis. Even when you want to laugh, even when you want to be like, this is funny, this is probably good.

You were reminded with the absolute crisis of liberalism and the inability to deal with the present moment. And I think, to me, that brings us to the next point, the second segment, if you will, season two of this episode, which is I want to talk about what do we think will happen with Trump and COVID. And I've plotted out three courses of action because this is still technically an episode of what a hell of a way to die and we're doing it military style. Yeah, let's get a sit-rep on that, Nate.

All right. So I think there are three potential courses of action. Coal one, all right, Trump dies from COVID. Now, this would be the banter outcome, obviously, but I also think that this would create a situation where Republicans kind of treat him as a martyr. It drums up more support. Maybe the QAnon people think that like he was killed by the deep state,

so on and so forth, this might help Pence. Pence is a negative void of charisma in the Stephen Kinnick vein or correction, the Neil Kinnick vein. Not Stephen Kinnick also is devoid of charisma, but Mike Pence is less charismatic than, than Stephen Kinnick as well. You know, I think in the scenario where Trump dies, I don't think we end up with President Pence. I think we end up with like President like Gary Bucey.

I think you end up with something like deeply cursed. There's also some things with regard to if the person on the ticket dies, whether or not elections are allowed to go forward in certain states. You know, there's a whole, like it really does depend on, you know, state to state. I also think that there is a Lib fantasy that says that if both Pence and Trump get it and are incapacitated, die, et cetera, that somehow the Speaker of the House becomes the President because that is the succession. And I'm just here to tell you that it doesn't matter what the fucking

Constitution says, it doesn't matter what the law says. Like if you believe that like you are going to do your homework hard enough to make Nancy Pelosi president, you are just you don't understand America and you don't understand the Republicans. That will never happen. So I think Nancy can't piss them off because she needs the Adrenaline Chrome. I think Trump, Trump dying while it's a possible outcome, it's a banter outcome. I do think it will be really bad.

I think that it'll it'll it'll activate true sicko mode, American politics in a way that we haven't seen in a really long time. So while it would, of course, be the funniest in a way, hypothetically speaking, you know, like objectively, it also could be the saddest because that that goes into full on everyone just shrugs their shoulders mode. When you open up that loot box, you have no idea what you're going to get. Yeah, yeah, I think so. I mean, like, yeah, I mean, obviously, like Trump dying is it's the best

outcome for the podcast, like it's the best, you know, in terms of like, you know, it's going to be fucking Dan Crenshaw doing push-ups in front of his coffin or whatever. Like it's going to rule, like I love it. I can't wait to experience that future, but also it will lead to an even deeper slide into fascism somehow. I'm completely certain. Yeah, I mean, you'll have like come cousin. Like you basically have like someone who like, well, what's his name?

He the actual like fucking fascist, you like writes his speeches. The name is like Steven Miller. That's it. Right. Yeah. Like, I don't know, like, you know, the people who have sort of like the guy from the band, the guy from the band, Steven Miller band. Some people call him the space cowboy. Yeah, like the people who have just been waiting, do people who've just been waiting for someone who's like, who has like an

attention span to kind of enact their major project that would kind of be the outcome of like a Trump death? Well, yeah, because I mean, Americans love spite. They really love hurting people. They love hurting people that they think look down on them. Recently, somebody shared an article from 2004 about how the Guardian was like basically encouraging voters in Ohio to vote for Kerry and they published some of the letters and emails they got in response.

And it was all basically Americans being like, my ancestors left England because it sucked because you're all libs. I hope that you break your leg and the NHS takes two years to fix it kind of stuff. I too remember like the 19th century when like the Brits were all libs. All we did, all we did was run a globe spanning empire to classic lib shit. There were so many pronouns in the 19th century. Oh, there were loads of them, like the, thou, that shit, I know. Malady, I mean, exactly.

Everybody, my pronouns are M slash lady. I'm an M to lady transgender person. The point that I'm making, though, is that Trump has something that most Republicans don't have, which is Trump is entertaining. Most Republicans are nerds. They might be murder nerds, but they're still nerds. And I think that that does put them at a disadvantage. But I also think that in COO won here, Trump dying while funny would probably

be the worst overall. It could happen. I mean, he's 70-ish something. He's really overweight. He doesn't exercise at all and he eats like fucking dog shit. As we know, he is impervious, right? Like this guy, that guy's insides are like a fucking nuclear reactor. Like the virus is dead already.

Absolutely not. He's going to be fine. So course of action, too, I believe is that Trump survives and says COVID is not real or that it's just like the common cold. And this could, in my opinion, ostensibly provide a bit of a boost to his campaign, you know, in the sense that he'll come back in two weeks to go before the vote. He's like stronger than ever. It's amazing.

COVID isn't real. The Libs are lying, locked down as fake, et cetera. I had a great conversation with the virus. He told me, actually, he was a big fan of my books and he said that it's not real. And exactly. But also here's the thing, too. Boris Johnson survived, but he obviously has been fucking flipped over and spanked by that virus.

If you look at how he is, he's been physically destroyed by it. And so in a way, I think that Trump gets it and it's severe. Like he might survive, but he also might be within an inch of his life. I mean, also, like, because I vaguely remember also, like, but Trump barely sleeps as well, right? He doesn't really sleep. He stays up watching Fox and yelling at the TV and eating shit food. He's a podcast.

He should have a podcast. I know, I know. He's all of us. He's all of us. He's all of our worst tendencies, like smushed into one. When the general consensus was he was going to lose the election, there was something I can't remember where it was from. But there was maybe in the New York Times, basically said that, yeah,

he actually just wants to set up his own TV channel. Like all he wants to do is make like he wants to just make content. And I feel like he would have been happier if he just did get to do a podcast. Get Trump a vape, get him a fucking snapback and a boomer microphone. And he will rock the shit. Like we actually have a running joke on the Russian podcast about a similar thing at the moment, which is that Alexander Lukashenko shouldn't be the president of Belarus.

He should be the third host of the too much podcast. Like we're like, dude, quit being president, like let them have democracy and just come beyond the podcast. That's all we want. We have way better vibes. Exactly. You know, the people's 950th tractor factory in Belarus. Exactly.

I want Lioschenko on the fucking podcast being like, I have come here to talk about Pasi. I want to talk about the moistness of an asshole. What if a Swedish guy was also Italian? It is a question that we have not answered. Even finest Belarusian scientists cannot tell me what if Swedish guy was Italian? That's what he sounds like. I believe I know we could always get the absolute niche Russian language content from you because yeah, like I don't I don't really know if Alexander

Lukashenko has talked about Bussie in real life, but I don't think he knows what a Bussie sounds like that. Yeah, he only knows Bussie is like the Haribo snacks or whatever. He just thinks that you're talking about a charming German cartoon bear with gummy snacks attached. Exactly. Yeah, it's always gummy snacks in my Bussie. But you got to you got to give people a treat if they're eating ass, you know, you know, exactly. You know, that's why you buy they're called Bussie Pop. You want the Bussie Pop. I mean, that's you want it to be popping.

That's how it works. Yeah, it's like lipstick for your asshole. So of course, the action number three, in my opinion, bring us back on track the way Riley always does very frustratedly. Is it Trump survives? And instead of saying COVID isn't real, he leans into his new hard one experience from getting the virus to say that actually it's serious and that, you know, now he empathizes, he understands what the everyman feels.

You know, when you're getting yelled at that, you have to come to work at Hobby Lobby and dive COVID because, you know, white ladies with lots of Bengal Jewelry and swoop haircuts really want to do crafts even during a pandemic. He understands how you feel. Love they love they love getting the jazzles. It's a great is a great American tradition. The jazzle on the bus. Dazzle is the thing I know.

But jazzle sounds like, well, I don't know what the fuck they were. They were a thing, you know, like the jazzles were a thing. Yeah. Back in the back in like 2010, the only way is Essex. But bitches, what they be getting for jazzles. What are the jazzles? I've never heard of this shit sequence that you put on your on on the purse. Yeah, they get the pussy decorated. They get the pussy blinged up.

It's like getting a grill, but if you're pussy, this is so fucking. Yo, I've never got a jazz. Call up the jewelry store. Tell him, bling me up. Nelly, Nelly just went to Essex, man. Nelly, Nelly was in fucking Brentford. He went to the sugar heart. He went down on a girl in the fucking toilets.

And I'm just imagining like Tim Westwood, like pipped by wife way, just gets your wife the jazzles. I'm just mad. I'm so excited about the idea of just like 2002. Nelly, Nelly is like in the VIP area at Sugar Heart, like pulling a girl's panties to the side and then immediately calls Paul Wall. And he's like, yo, you got to see this shit. We got to we got to make a record about this.

Snaps a picture on his camera phone. It costs four dollars to text it to him. Exactly. He doesn't carry his Ebola. That ride with me money is still coming in. God damn it. So in my opinion, in my opinion, this course of action where Trump leans into COVID being bad is probably the least likely because he would then have to admit that he fucked up super hard.

I mean, Americans love a fuck up story where you've learned your lesson. Like we really love that shit. Like it's OK that I'm a huge piece of garbage because in the end I learned my lesson to sort of like usher's confessions, which technically is about Jermaine Dupree. It's a Jermaine Dupree song, really. But usher sings it where he's like, girl, I know I cheated on you and got another girl pregnant,

but I'm going to show you how much of a man I am. Like that's such an American thing. That really is like we love redemption arts. That's a good album. I mean, the problem is also about like a whole kind of I don't, you know, it would work in the way of like if Trump if Trump would like originate, like if he originated the whole like coronavirus isn't dangerous, or coronavirus has been like really hyped up, but he didn't.

Like I think that he was very much like swept on the wave of that. Again, I think like he's one of his I don't think he's reactive. Right. I don't think he really had like an opinion on it. And his opinion was sort of swayed by what like the Republican Party like sort of and his like base kind of expected of him. And there are too many people who are like invested in the idea about like coronavirus isn't dangerous or lethal. So if he came out and suddenly said like, yeah, I experienced it and it fucking sucked.

I don't think he would really change that much material. And again, I think like, you know, we kind of spoke about this on the Q and on episode, which is that like the Q and on stuff isn't really about Trump anymore. And it can survive without Trump and it will survive without Trump. So like it's got its own momentum now. So yeah, it's the it's the momentum of the real working man from Basingstoke. Yeah. I mean, I think that like, yeah, there's no scenario in which this doesn't help Trump's campaign because like even if he dies,

like they will elect dead Trump, like they do not care. Like I think that if I think there's it's quite plausible that if he gets the shit kicked out of him by the virus and survives it, that he comes out and he's like, this virus is very serious, which is what I've been saying from the beginning, the Chinese, they invented this virus and said it's very bad. Can you imagine the Ben Garrison cartoon that's going to come out of that? Oh, my God, like oiled up like Jack Trump fighting like a virus in a sort of pancraton arena or like dead or like dead Trump,

like dead Trump, Ben Garrison cartoon is going to be like so lit like 100 foot Kim Ilson statue, Trump, right, eternal president. Well, the thing I didn't factor into my courses of action here is Biden getting it and dying because that that is totally possible. But as it currently stands, they're at least saying he doesn't have or he's tested negative. Now, who even knows? But obviously, like that's a big concern.

I guess it's just one of those things where if we know for a fact that Trump has it, we know for a fact that Melania Trump has it, too. We know for a fact that a bunch of the Republicans that he was he was meeting with have it, I don't have their names down here, but like there are quite a few others who have tested positive since then we absolutely know that like this is this is the thing that's going to dominate this next month, at least until he either dies or comes out of isolation, the hospital, etc. And so this might be the most banter two weeks of this election.

So maybe strap the fucking posting gloves on, I guess, in a way, we've gone through and we've talked about it. And I think what it comes back to to me is lame, you know, repeating ourselves, whatever you want to call it. But it strikes me that in this moment, you are seeing, I mean, if Rachel Maddow, for example, and I'm going to be harder on Libs than conservatives, I know because like we know what we're getting with conservatives. They aren't duplicitous.

They tell you flat out and they mean it. Yeah, they're apes throwing shit at the wall. Like what do you expect? Like what do you think? Like the same guy is doing cry laugh emojis about doing genocide. Like that's what they actually believe. And here's the thing, right? If Rachel Maddow really believes that everything about Donald Trump's campaign,

everything about his presidency has been a Putin Psyop that Vladimir Putin did at all and he's controlling, you know, him with Compromot and disinformatia and all the fucking whatever shit. Yeah, disinformats guy at the metro station where they meet. Exactly. That's where he gets his disinformatia from Vladimir Putin himself. No one in Russia would notice Vladimir Putin just hanging out with Donald Trump. No, they wouldn't do that.

No, if all of this is true and Donald Trump is, you know, the Manchurian candidate, sleeper cell, Russian agent, surely him being incapacitated and potentially dead is good for America, right? But if Rachel Maddow was like, no, we must pray for his recovery. Then it's like, were you just kind of rolling with that? Did you do not actually believe any of that shit that you've been saying for four fucking years? The ultimate lib thing is that like now Donald Trump has like outlived his

usefulness to the FSB. So they've given him the coronavirus to finish them off and cover their tracks. That's like the galaxy brain liberal Q and on take, which I'm sure we will see. Well, I mean, I guess we have to defer once again to the guy that all the conspiracy theories in Britain are about, Hussain Quslany. Will you be at Trump's bedside if he's, you know, put into St. Tommy's intensive care? Are you going to whisper Hediths into his ears to convert him on his bedside? Yeah, I was flossing with the idea of like, I'm doing a bit about how the US is kind of like,

they're desperate to get Trump back in good health. So they've called the only person who knows how to fix it, which is chief doctor at St. Tommy's Hospital in Luton, who uses a very unique ASMR healing technique in order to eradicate coronavirus. Yeah, you have to post that. I'm sorry. It's a rule. It's a little law. Yeah, I feel like after the whole Boris Johnson, when I did the whole, when they did that with Boris Johnson, how many people got mad at me?

Like I'm just very afraid of like unhinged Americans. You're so funny. So we'll figure out a way to do it. When we talk about the way in which this is, I mean, invariably, I do think that it could be bad for Trump. I mean, look, right now the polling for Biden is really, really high. Like it's outside of the margin of error. Like it looks like he's, in most cases, close to, if not at, a double digit lead on Trump

in states that matter, in states like he's two up in Iowa, which leans Republican. He's very close, if not up in both Georgia and South Carolina. Like that's un-fucking-precedented. So I mean, there's a lot, obviously, voter suppression, et cetera. It's a huge deal. And the Republicans are going to try to discredit it. But I mean, there's no denying that Biden's lead has held. And right now it looks like he will win the vote.

But I also don't think, I don't want to look at it and be like, anything that happens to Trump, no matter what, is always good. Because I feel like there's an extent to which the circumstances of what are taking place right now, like are undeniable. A lot of people are pissed off. But I also think that there's going to be a conspiracy. There's going to be dumb shit happening. And I guess we've just gone through a bunch of courses of action.

So I wonder who's saying, what do you think? I think it's like, well, number one, I don't think elections matter. I think that like, regardless of what's going to happen, there are going to be conspiracies anyway. So even if like Trump was fine and he lost the election, he's said multiple times that like, yeah, I'm not going to like concede. And I'm pretty sure like the Republican party have kind of agreed with him, but he shouldn't do that.

And they will find ways to kind of rat fuck him, either by like, bringing out false stats about like, like postal votes, like doing voter suppression. And they've got like history informed doing this. So it's not like a completely unfeasible thing. I think that like with Trump, with like a Trump death, like your conspiracy theory is going to run wild. And like, even if like Biden still wins out of that,

you know, that kind of sets a real hotbed for like uncontrollable conspiracy theories. And we sort of know, in the short amount of time, but like QAnon has become mainstream, like we've seen how that's influenced like both Republican, congressman and sentences, but also how it's just like impacted culture generally. So really what I'm thinking at this point is that like,

the outcome, you know, the kind of cultural impact of this is going to stay static regardless of what happens in the end. And like, whatever like liberal fantasy of like Joe Biden bringing civility and order and trust back in the institutions and everything, that's not going to happen. The damage has kind of already been done. And the damage is going to get worse, like regardless of like who wins.

So I think my personal feeling is like the best kind of possible outcome is that like Trump makes like a recovery and like he kind of just about wins it again. I honestly feel like that is like the best kind of like, I wouldn't say it's the best outcome because of, again, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, a lot of people are going to die and a lot of people are going to like,

you know, loads of really bad shit is going to happen in a Trump presidency. But again, I kind of think to myself like, you know, the kind of cultural tides are pointing in a particular direction, which I don't think is going to be influenced by any presidential candidate. It just feels so much bigger and it feels so much more kind of global. And again, we talked about this in the Q and on episode

how like this is really like a unified moment of like the appeal of Q and on is really about this unified feeling of like malaise and helplessness. And, you know, just kind of not even like this trust in institutions and governments, but just kind of the acceptance that they aren't going to do anything. So it's up to like the people to kind of just become vigilantes and take stuff into their own hands.

So I know I feel like, you know, the most likely outcome that we'll probably see are like a unified volunteer border force guarding the border of like Ohio or I don't know, like Indiana or whatever. And everyone just going on volunteer nonce hunting, like not yet nonce hunting. I guess so what you're basically saying is, I mean, I think I hold the position that obviously

as much as I don't like Biden, it's better if Biden wins than if Trump wins. And so as I understand your position, you're saying you think that the best case scenario is Trump is able to continue the way that he was before in the election. So it doesn't it doesn't lend credence to the idea that, you know, he's been spiked by the deep state. Oh, I mean, like, I feel like again, I don't know,

I could be completely wrong. It's more just like a feeling of like having seen how fast like QAnon conspiracy theories have been spreading and like the real kind of impact of that and how it's very likely that, you know, even in QAnon groups right now where they're talking about, well, what happens if Trump dies? Like there is still this thing of like,

well, you know, QAnon isn't just about Trump and it doesn't end with Trump. Like, you know, I just I, you know, I just feel like moments like that kind of really eclipse any sort of discussions about, you know, who gets to kind of be in the White House, right? I guess it's like, again, one of those things where it's like, you know, regardless of what happens,

like there is no going back to normal or going back to like an imagined normal isn't really a thing anymore. And it's really like conspir, like conspiracies. And you know, and also just like one thing to bear in mind also is that I think like the daily beast of the story about this today, about how there have been kind of like Republican congressional candidates

who have been causing like QAnon supporters and have kind of been like, you know, very, very friendly with QAnon supporters, even like refusing to kind of condemn QAnon rhetoric and language and action in the US Congress. Like that, you know, if we're looking at trajectory, that's kind of where things are going. And I just don't think-

That's where decency politics gets you. Absolutely none of that. And I think like a Biden presidency, like isn't going to change that. And I don't, and also another thing too, I don't know if Biden, like Biden or any of the Democrats know what to do with that. And I think with like Trump, at least he sort of knows

what to do with that energy. Like he sort of knows how to like contain some of it. Yeah. I mean, Biden doesn't even know where he is for fuck's sake. I mean, like, I think this is, I mean, you might not want to come with me on this, but like my take is that I actually think obviously, like I can understand why people are on board for a Biden victory on the basis that it will alleviate

some of the absolute worst excesses of what Trump has gone up to. But like fundamentally, I think in the long term, like a Biden win is a worse outcome, because what it will do is it will enable the Democrats to pick an even worse candidate next time, because they won't learn anything, because it will have enabled all of the dumbest decisions

that they've made. And then of course, the Republicans are furious that like their special boy, Donald Trump, was like cheated out of his election victory, was they'll absolutely spin it into like a huge fucking, like the election was stolen type thing. They will then pick someone way to the right of Trump and also like way more competent than Trump next time.

And then you might get like an actual fucking fascist. Like that is like the- Yeah, President Tucker Carlson. Yeah, but President fucking Logan Paul, or like whatever, whatever fucking dumb shit, like, yeah. I mean, I guess for me, I've been on the position of, given how much authority the president has, like it's better, no matter what, there's no scenario

in which I would be like, it would be better if Trump won. But I do agree with you that, you know, part and parcel of defeating Trump via Biden is that they're not going to learn anything and they're going to make everything worse or make nothing better. And I think- And I think that's like-

We're going to be in for a real one. I think that's just like my main takeaway, which is just like based on even before what's happened with like Trump getting COVID and everything. My main takeaway is like no one has really learned anything from the past four years. And like all the rhetoric, like all the kind of rhetoric around like civility

and like reverence of institutions and like this desire to get back to like West Wing style politics is kind of just an example of how no one has learned anything since 2016. In a way, it feels like we're just stuck in 2016. All right, we're going for what? We're going to go for our fifth loop soon. Sorry.

Fucking love it. Well, all I can say to that- Groundhog, yeah. To you, friends, friends of the show, listeners, Milo, Hussain, thank you for letting us explore this idea on this extremely well scripted and tightly organized, very riley-like episode. Oh, guys, sorry, was I late for the podcast?

Everyone has listened to this and they'd be like, wow, this is not a change in tone or structure from the stuff I'm used to listening to. Absolutely not. So just in case you didn't know from the constant illusions to it, I have a show that is a leftist veteran podcast

about military veteran culture news, military cryptozoology called What a Hell of a Way to Die. Milo has too much, if you speak Russian. Yeah, which you can now watch on YouTube. We've started doing it as a video podcast. So if you want to see me grimacing as I talk about Russian shit, you can do that. Hussain, you have 10,000 posts.

Yeah, we've got some episodes coming out soon. We've got a really fun one. By the time this comes out, I reckon it'll be out. So yeah, it's subbed to at 10K post part. Alice obviously is not on this episode, but she has, well, there's your problem. Riley is not on this episode, but he has the Boney Island Whitefish,

which appears on the Patreon which you can subscribe to today. with all of our other bonus episodes because we've got tons and tons of content and $5 a month gets you all of it. We got Britonology heavy. Milo and I have Britonology, which this episode is kind of an amalgamation of.

We have t-shirts. We're going to design more t-shirts. Yeah, we have our very special edition new t-shirts are arriving on Tuesday, so I reckon this episode is going to come out. I'm so excited. I'm so, so excited. If you like the stylings of a man known as,

you know, Johannes vonk, you might be very excited by the t-shirts that we've got coming in. So I'm just going to tease those. If you want to take a joke way past its logical conclusion and buy a shirt based on a fictional Dutch band called Johannes vonk and the clog heads touring the worst towns in England in 1984,

playing their song, Honkbal Hoefte Klassa on my radio tonight, you can buy a shirt. Yeah, that's right. Because we are in fact making them. And then finally, our theme song is Here We Go by Jinsang. You can listen to it on Spotify. You should listen to it as much as possible.

The thank him for letting us use it for this show. That's it. Listen to it. Listen to it every day. Listen to it on repeat while you send the pig poop balls tweet to every lip sending thoughts and prayers to Donald Trump. And then just bear in mind that we have two streams a week unless there's more than that. No, Thursday 9 to 11 and Sunday 9 to 11 for the YouTube zone.

Yeah, I was actually on the stream last night getting my PTSD triggered as we did counterinsurgency, but actually won. It was a lot of fun. Must have been a weird like counterfactual for you. Well, we got our asses kicked numerous times before we actually figured it out. Apparently you have to give people stuff they want like medicine.

That's why America will never win a counterinsurgency. We can't conceive of that. So anyway, thank you for listening. And if you are a Patreon subscriber, there will be a new episode out on Thursday. Otherwise, we'll see you next week. We'll see you later on the bonus.