TRASHFUTURE - Twûnkhöle Capital SA

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

This week, it’s Riley, Milo, Alice, and Nate discussing a startup that will make it even easier for you to not own a home, the dreaded ‘football situation’ in England, the UK government’s plans to end all COVID distancing measures, and a dicey situation in the US state of Maine involving self-declared MILFs. If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture Please consider donating to charities helping Palestinian people here: https://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/palestine-emergency-appeal/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3oja5NbR8AIVSOmyCh2LdQ9rEAAYAiAAEgKM9PD_BwE and here: https://www.grassrootsalquds.net/ *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

An amus-array, as this would be. Covering my head with the serviette in order to hide my podcast shame from gods. To consume the trash of your podcast. Hello everybody, welcome to... hide my podcast shame from gods. To consume the Trash Teacher podcast. Hello, everybody. Welcome to... It's the free one. Yeah, I'm no longer saying it. I'm just letting this do the saying.

You're listening to the free one. And if you've never listened to Trash Teacher before, welcome to the free one. Welcome to this maze of impenetrable bits. I still don't get how that guy who said that his friend listened to Trash Each for the first time and they got so confused by the concept of the free one, which is

arguably the least inscrutable bit. There's a free episode every week, and there's a paid episode, and this is the free one. And this one's that one. I understand Builders Valhalla, but I don't understand the concept of the free one. I'm the one guy who understands the joke I made in the previous

episode about the satanic zone, but not the free one. That's because we're all so conditioned by freaking capitalism that we can't imagine a free one. There's no such thing as a free one. There's not. It's Riley, Alice, Milo, and Nate appearing today to talk about some bullshit.

I say, if it's free, you're the product. I'm actually being handed a bulletin just now. Yes, you are all the product. You, the hogs. Yeah, Macedonian teenagers are writing blog posts to manipulate your behavior right now. I'm voting, buying stuff, vaping, who can say? But they're doing it. They're doing it because you listened to this product. Yeah, this product's scripted

by Dominic Cummings. Yeah, you got a handkerchief over your head right now. You didn't even notice. You bought a handkerchief because of this. We're in the pocket of big handkerchiefs, which are themselves in a big pocket. Okay, very clever. Alright. So, look, I've actually been handed a bulletin before we get to the content of what I've been making notes on.

Yes, the guy handing me the bulletin is making that noise. That's not a machine. That's just the guy. I've invented a new news detector. Yeah. So, this is a bulletin from mid-June, but I've just rolled across the news desk, the TF news desk today. New original artwork by Hunter Biden is being sold for half a million dollars.

Is this an NFT? Is it an NFT? No, it's just painting. Hunter Biden is like unproblematic now, I guess. Well, I mean, it's come on. It's not as though you can just value art at whatever and then someone can use that. You have to make a non-fungible token to do that.

Well, no, but it's what I was saying. It's not as though you can just value art at whatever and then someone can give you money for that art and it's a legitimate non-corrupt transaction. Of course. Yeah, of course. Right? Because the art is actually worth that much. What is the art of? Yeah, I wanted to know that too.

It is therapeutic art that he painted to get over. Remember, there's an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Frank pretends to be like an art critic. I can't remember the thing. And all of the stories about Hunter Biden's art are all like just the stuff that they said in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It's the same thing. I'm going to put it in the group DM now. Because here's the thing, right? I mean, given that we had to suffer through the weird

lopsided portraits of Vladimir Putin that George Bush did or even worse, his therapeutic... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. George Bush did a painting of Vladimir Putin? Oh, you haven't seen it? George Bush paints now. I thought you meant when he was in office. No, no. Hey, Vlad, wait. George Bush did a painting of Vladimir Putin? Oh, you haven't seen it? He loves art. George Bush paints now. I thought you meant when he was in office. No, no.

I thought you might like this. Check it out. I thought it went quite trump. I thought you might like this painting. It's beautiful. I did it myself, actually. It's a wonderful painting. Very, very large.

It's the Russian president. A great man. Big guy. Very, very big. George W. Bush, since leaving office office has focused a lot on painting and in the grimmest way he paints portraits of american service members who died in iraq and afghanistan yeah which is really like taunting serial killer taunting the police kind of thing yeah it's it's just it's uh it's very very and the thing about it is is that the sort of party line in america is you're supposed to be like oh isn't this great it's like he's not a very good painter it's very very and the thing about it is that the sort of party line in America

is you're supposed to be like oh isn't this great it's like he's not a very good painter it's kind of like a primitive style he doesn't really seem to be getting any better and it's just it's really I don't know off putting let's call it that so to me anything

Hunter Biden does cannot be as weird or bad as that and at least I know that Hunter Biden's paintings probably have something to do with drugs and or getting laid. And I respect that. Is Bush here? Is he painting Giuliani? of that is Biden's artwork. And all the experts are saying it's actually good. And you could know for sure that it's actually good because that's just like how Doug Emhoff's daughter

now getting a modeling contract or the Obama sisters now getting to write a TV show. It's because they're all good at it. It's not just because if you're a Democratic insider, you get an art career. This portrait on the left does look a lot like the cover of a GCSE science textbook. I mean, to be honest with you, it's not bad.

It's definitely better than Bush's painting. I don't know what the portrait is. It's not Giuliani, but I don't know who that's supposed to be. Giuliani does have a mustache. Is that a mustache? Yes. I'm not sure that is you know i think that's just a fucked up lip you are maybe it's not you know modern art it's about what it inspires in you

rather than the like yeah it made me think about giuliani that's what it says it made you think of giuliani with a mustache yeah rudy giuliani has a signature hair dye melting down his face like brain fluid is leaking. Yeah, he looks like Ashenbuck in Death in Venice, which is like a normal thing for a person to look like. Hunter Biden, however, looks a bit like he's in a sort of like a prison workshop making a card for his victims. Like writing with a big paintbrush like i'm sorry about the arson i just to be honest to be honest with you alice i feel like rudy giuliani i just cannot envision him being stricken on the beach while gazing upon the world's most beautiful twink like rudy giuliani's done a lot of things in his life but not he wouldn't do something that cool

so in that regard i just i can't i can't i can't accept the von aschenbach comparison you stare into the twink and the twink stares back well uh anyway that's i i just i saw that i felt i needed to bring it up uh another couple of things before we get into our support for under biden to be honest with you i mean look he's gotten to live a pretty like fun life he life. He's the only cool, like, Democrat child. For a guy who's, like, nominally, like, attached to power, like, all of his vibes have just been, like, catastrophic and also uniquely American. Like, I think Hunter Biden might be the protagonist of America. Yeah, we found the guy! The stuff that's happened to him, like, he got onto a lot of drugs, and his brother

went to Afghanistan and then died early when he got back from Afghanistan. This is like, Hunter Biden is the protagonist of America the sitcom. And so I respect this bold new direction to have him just paint. Yeah, I mean, I made this point on Helluva Way, but something for listeners to understand, it was actually Iraq, I think, not Afghanistan. But his brother was a judge advocate general officer, like an army lawyer, basically, and then died from cancer after he came back from deployment. But Hunter Biden got kicked out of the Navy for cocaine use. And the thing that I would say is that if you are the son of someone famous using a drug that's out of your system within four days, you have to use cocaine so fucking much for the Navy to be like, we're putting our foot down. So that gives you an impression of the volume of cocaine that man was using.

Lieutenant Biden, you've been using non-standard issue cocaine on board ship. Lieutenant Biden, who started a small plates restaurant at the ship's port? It's impractical to use this many plates. It's inefficient on board ship. Peruvian, Italian,

who told you that went together? On shore leave, that's acceptable. I also love the idea because I mean, the footage that's been leaked of him shows him smoking crack with sex workers.

And it's like, I actually think that when part of your job as a Navy officer involves just staring at the ocean endlessly, crack might make you more attentive. You might actually be better at spotting hazards. That's what coming to attention means. You just do crack.

Yeah. Or maybe it's like the reverse and it made him this way. Maybe he got like sea madness. That is a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Being in the Navy sucks so hard that it makes you want to smoke crack. And then do like abstract sort of abstract impressionist art.

Before the invention of crack, like, what did sailors do? They got a lot of unwise tattoos and did opium. So this is, like, all coming together. Being on the scene makes you mad. It gives you sea madness. What's interesting about this is this has ultimately led to Hunter Biden basically having the same career trajectory as charles bronson he hunched into me oh okay he could get a weird stuff biden greasing himself up before fighting

a bunch of prison guards fighting the entire secret service while greased up and naked he wouldn't he wouldn't fight them he I just want to see my dad. He would just ask them about their relationships with their dads. A greased up Hunter Biden slithers through like an arm lock into the Oval Office. I mean, I don't even think his art is that bad. Hunter Biden is what would happen if Robert

Rauschenberg was straight. And allow us to stress that we also think Charles Bronson's artwork is very good oh yeah mr bronson if you're listening we think your artwork is i don't even i don't even necessarily think it's bad i think it's but goodness or badness is immaterial when you're sort of where you're in the the world of america where you're like you're saying it's the same thing as like the quality of marie antoinette's milk churning yeah or like you said ella emhoff getting

a modeling contract or the obama girls like becoming like tv writers it's because it's like no when you're in the democratic firmament like yeah you just get that kind of cultural respect because because like in the last like five to ten years that kind of partisan politics just kind of creeped into a man like if like hair dye creeping into your brain to be fair i don't think we give marie antoinette enough credit for her entrepreneurial spirit because in having that champagne glass modeled on her titty she did kind of pave the way for the sort of porn star flashlight that's yeah that's right they owe a lot to marie antoinette uh speaking of people who owe stuff to stuff andgotten women of history It's weird to me because

Obviously like being gifted Careers in politics there's plenty of Examples of that in America but Being gifted careers in entertainment That seems like a more recent thing Welcome to Britain Yeah It's like how else would you get

Famous people without the children of famous people Ronald Reagan's son Was actually in a movie called Ron Reagan is the President's Son because he tried to be an actor, but he sucked. And he wasn't really able to get anywhere doing it. The nepotism in the arts and in Hollywood especially is already Hollywood people, like Max Brooks or Max Landis. Basically, if your name's max you're fucking like set in life yeah or jim mitchum lena dunham is a good example i think for people for people our age more or less because yeah her parents were both extremely famous and accomplished artists and then it's like all right here's every tv show ever so it's uh

yeah but the idea of that extending to politics, I'm not going to lie, I think Riley you hit a point there, that is kind of a more recent phenomenon with, I would say a combination of the Obama sort of entourage, if you will, and then also, and this is a minor point

for the real America heads out there, Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, there's your red state, blue state divide right there. Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, there's your red state, blue state divide right there. Yeah. It's very funny to call... I love it when Americans just don't know about a bit of British slang. And it's very funny to call your daughter Bristol, something which is British slang for tits.

This is my daughter, Titty Palin. Speaking of... Okay, I think the thing is, it's like as America has become, as Britain, rather, has become America, so too have little bits of America become more British. And I think Hunter Biden, the famous artist now, even though he seems to be pretty good at it,

is definitely a little bit of that happening. Me, that's the president. So look, I want to talk about some of the stuff that I have written down. Hunter and Joe should get a podcast where they talk about sex. You to NPR. Dude, damn it, Hunter, what's a blubkin?

I've never been in a... Your time was, you meet a lady down at the pool and then she... Suck on your Johnson. Called coprophilia dad you get a woman to shit on you why does he sound like don draper it's called happiness is getting a woman as a billboard telling you that a woman shitting on you is normal does jill ever shit on your chest? I just love the idea that Don Draper's dad is Bill Clinton for some reason.

Well, Don... I've had that done. I have had a woman shit on my chest, yes, but... I've had that done many times. It's not necessarily my thing. If the lady's into that, I'm flexible. I'm into...

I can't even do it. Okay, so we've got a few things to talk about. Let's say you're on an island. Well, we're going to talk about that. Oh, okay. But first, look, by the time this comes out, football either will or will have not come home. It will have come home.

By this point, football has texted us asking us to put the kettle on because it's coming home. Football is like you up. Well, whether or not football is jiggling its keys in the door drunkenly, waiting for us to let it in because it's coming home. Football's about to noisily make cheese on toast while you try and sleep. Football is about to piss and get none of that piss in the toilet once it gets home, which it will do shortly.

Well, it will have been home by the time this comes out. That's right. So it's in the middle of the piss. If you're using Trash Future to learn your English tenses, then welcome to this episode. The football will have come home by the time this episode has been released in future from now. What Riley's deploying here is a subjunctive that football may come home. the time that this episode has been released from now deploying here as a subjunctive that football may come home yes correct yeah so what i want to talk about though briefly about this um is as well right that i i can feel i can feel an energy in the air which is um

liberal commentators beginning to draw grand conclusions about the conditions of the politics of this country from a little bit of spectacle. You're talking about Caitlin Moran. Interalia, to be honest. Not just Caitlin Moran. Shut up. You named my daughter Interalia. Yeah. But there is essentially, right is there is this say it's i don't know what it

is with years with the numbers two zero one and two in them but some bit of spectacle will happen you're doing numerology here right that's right that will cause that will basically cause uh that will cause your liberal commentators to begin to just be enraptured by the jingling keys of just like something kind of nice happening and say Britain's gonna be okay and that is annoying as shit I think the liberal commentators in Britain

live in a world in which the amount of money required to save Britain from years of crippling austerity is exactly the same as the prize money in the dodgeball competition. And I don't know how they got into that kind of alternate reality, that sort of parallel existence that they live in the rest of us.

It's media politics. If you're not aware, specifically, the one that I saw was Caitlin Moran tweeting, I was on a cab ride across London, a thing which I can afford, and I saw everybody out in the streets celebrating a liberal internationalist vision of Britain that they specifically definitely cared about.

I heard people hanging off of buses, clamoring for a rules-based international order. Yeah, they were shouting, come on, diversity! That's what they were going for. It seems as though there is a real desire to read into this the same thing that they read into 2012. Yeah, and everything's been fine since 2012. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because Danny Boyle did the opening ceremony and there were like

dancing nurses and the Queen jumped out of a plane. So, you know, it was, everything's been fine since then. Yeah, exactly.

Because how could it not have been? Yeah, well, no, it's that that showed what we were and now this shows what we could be. And again,

it is, the problem is is that a lot of the people who think this just so happen to also have a stranglehold on all of the respectable media outlets leftmost flank so we're this is going to be inflicted on us for the next decade this is i i feel like it's kind of it's weird because they have this brain

disease where everything has to be discourse right so something can't just be like a nice fun thing like this which is it's a distraction from how bad everything is yeah but it's a nice thing it's not a bad thing it is a nice thing lots of people on the left to kill joys and they're like oh wow how can you enjoy this uh tony said no go fuck yourself let people enjoy things okay i'm not often the guy who says that yeah but in this case let people fucking enjoy things don't make it a discourse don't turn it into a moral arc it's just it's a nice thing that people who don't often get to enjoy a lot of things are being able to enjoy but i feel like extrapolating from that that everything is now fine it's a bit like i don't

know seeing some people like having a sing song in the tube during the blitz and going like well i guess that means the germans will surely be defeated like no that's not how that works there's like a hypocrisy to it too, like particularly if you're doing anyone but England, where you're like, no, because the English are racist, which is true, because England is a terrible place, which is true, I'm going to support a nice progressive country, like, and I'm not going to check anything about this, Denmark. Yeah. What was- we and Phoebe were talking about this last night i drove home there was like lots of people on the street cheering we're giving a little honk it was nice

it was fun we were standing on the honk um and uh and then we were discussing the anyone but england people the most irritating people on the face of the fucking planet right and uh we were remembering in the world cup that phoebe knew someone who was english but who was an anyone but english person uh who was doing who was supporting Croatia for woke reasons. And Fibino were both recalling that famously Croatia, the Croats, were the only people who the

SS wrote in official documents were too into the Holocaust. They were like, these guys, a little bit too enthusiastic. I assume that's changed now, right? Yeah, sure. Wasn't this the same tournament that Croatian fans were like doing a swastika formations of themselves? Yeah, I think there were also

maybe even a couple of the Croatian players sort of had kind of like well-known Nazi sympathies. I mean, you know, but woke though because it's not England. Because England's racist. Well, then there's the other half of this as well which again is not significant but I'm taking a little bit of joy in watching. Because England's racist. Well, then there's the other half of this as well,

which again is not significant, but I'm taking a little bit of joy in watching, which is like the Tory intake, 29 intake MP, Lee Anderson, who you may remember set himself up a soft vox pop by telling the guy who he's Dory knocked on to like suggest some stuff he could agree with. And the guy was like, I'd put all benefits claimants in prison camps. And Lee Anderson had to be like, maybe not that.

It was that guy. He's been boycotting it just because they're like, and the Lawrence Fox people are all like, because they only talk to each other yeah that's like a decent proportion of the reason why i hope that we win and that it does come home is the like the more we win the funnier it gets that everybody like on the right absolutely went all in at the start of the tournament with go woke go broke you know uh and like i i won't be watching this and if you want to boo them for taking the knee, then that's your right as a patriotic Englishman. That's true. Bloody right, lads.

I'll throw something in. Obviously, America doesn't have an equivalent to this because aside from the Olympics, we don't really have an international competition style thing that really matters. But to me, the idea of the World Series, we exactly have the World Series of baseball, which only has American and some canadian teams um the thing that i would say is it's weird to me if you don't want your like to be agnostic is fine to not care about sports is fine to be really really aggressively against your home team is just kind of weird like I'm very happy when anyone but the Lakers wins the NBA championship because fuck the Lakers. I would say that about the Bulls, but I feel like the Bulls haven't been

doing very well. So I don't I feel bad for them now. I don't really like the Knicks either, even though I live in New York because I'm an Indiana Pacers fan and both the Lakers and the Knicks have fucked us over big time. I'm also extremely happy when the New England Patriots don't win because as a Colts fan, you may know that there's this terrible thing that the Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s could not stand up against called snow, and really bad things happen whenever they play to New England. So I get that sensation, but the idea of being against your own team and very loudly proclaiming that just seems weird to me.

And obviously the national politics and the constituent nations of the UK, own team and like very loudly proclaiming that just seems weird to me and and obviously like the national politics and the of the constituent nations of the uk is that it's weird to me it's not i grasp it but obviously like it doesn't have like a personal aspect to it yeah but it's strange to me like if you don't want england to win then fine like yeah i get it a lot of england fans are psychos but like declaring that shit publicly as a kind of a public stance you know for moral reasons yeah yeah as a moral and political one it's very very weird but the other point i'd make is it like i agree with you alice and i agree that i mean i feel like the impression that i've gotten is gareth southgate seems to be like a pretty nice guy and obviously like if you look at the stories

from many of the england team players like they are very much representative of the conditions of modern Britain. You know, I was reading this article this morning that was getting shared that I don't know if you guys had a chance to see it or not. It was on a website called the Players' Tribune where Raheem Sterling talks about growing up and like, you know, from the time he was a teenager, like a young teenager,

having to basically ride a young teenager having to basically ride a bus three hours to get to heathrow to play for the youth club he played on and that his either his mom or his sister would take him out there like because they didn't have a car and they had no one else to do it and they would you know like they centered their lives around him when he was a little kid he was helping his mom and sister clean hotel rooms at like five in the morning because to augment their income their life i think the life of the lives of a lot of these players is way more indicative of how most people in britain working people in britain are living and so like there's a and they just seem genuinely

like nice people like the stuff no no i mean come on someone like raheem sterling you know no matter what struggles he's been through he couldn't possibly understand how hard it is being scottish yeah i mean this is the thing right, either, you have to be consistent about it, is the thing. I think you can either be like, there is no politics involved in this for me, this is just a bit of fun, or you can be like, I am going to apply a political lens to this. And if you do apply a political lens to it, I think it's very difficult to argue that the england team of 2021 is not a surprisingly like progressive and sometimes oppositional to power yeah i mean you think about about what marcus rashford has done over the past year and a half you know you look at the stem of the

statements made you look at the statements in in favor of trans rights uh in favor of black lives matter you know opposing race publicly opposing racism i racism. I'm not naive about this. I think that if England does win, I'm sure that the right-wing bullshit culture machine is going to spin it however they want to because... And I do have a broader point about that. But I think to me,

I feel like what's interesting is it's very strange how much the people who, like you said, came out very early and said, go woke, go broke, etc. And made this like the hill they were going to die on. Under normal circumstances, by now, they would have melted. But they really are, in the truly most English way possible, determined to be miserable in the face of something unironically it's upsetting for people like lawrence fox because previous iterations of the england team while much less successful at football were much more reflective of him because they were all like the most divorced people alive like you could watch someone like john terry and be like yes like this man represents me

that is a man who's not allowed to see his kids. I do think there is one thing that we can learn from the right here, which is that when that pivot happens, and we've already seen it from Boris Johnson and Priti Patel, who, like, having previously been like, oh, you can boo these guys, and also I'm going to try and deport half the squad's nans, have now, like, you know, been posting on Twitter in, like, poorly sized England shirts with the creases still in them. I think

the thing that we can learn from the right here is to be absolutely shameless and absolutely cynical and never ever lose a breath. If you get owned, just ignore it because it doesn't matter. And I think that's something that we could stand to

internalize a bit. But I think the big thing for me though, to round off my sort of digression here is just, Alice, I agree with you. Lawrence Fox will never, ever open up the Notes app and type out an apology and screenshot it. That will not happen. And you shouldn't either. But another point I'd make is that it really does sound like a stupid meme to go on about let people enjoy

things but ultimately it's like shit has fucking sucked in this country for a while and in the last you know 16 months have been miserable in this country like absolutely miserable like I'm really happy that people are enjoying things I wasn't watching the match last night I did you know very very po-facedly get on ITV and watch when i heard all the cheering echoing throughout my neighborhood when harry kane scored but like that was a really cool feeling that just kind of you know almost serendipitous to be taking the fucking bins out and then suddenly like like you'd think there was an occupying army like there's just cheers everywhere i'm really happy for people getting you know being able to enjoy something good happening for england yeah that being said like

are a lot of people insane yeah are a lot of people like is is it worth getting down to like really intense ideological arguments about it no probably not but ultimately like we're we wouldn't be doing what we're doing if we weren't in favor of like people getting more joy out of their lives and less drudgery and misery. And like, yeah, this makes people happy. I'm really fucking glad England's doing well. It also seems like the Italian T it seems like the Italian team,

uh, probably not as, uh, open-minded as England. It's also like, it's, it's, it's genuinely,

I don't think it's hyperbolic to call it a battle for the soul of English football right now. I think there is like, because like all of these guys like Lawrence Fox, right? They very much want to drag England internationally back to the past of watching 11 fat old guys who have been on the beers all week sort of shuffle around losing. And just being- And all fucking each other's wives being desperately miserable and racist and sexist and homophobic and all of the rest of it and like england are playing like a different country and i think that's incredibly powerful they want everyone to be vinnie jones basically when he was a professional footballer i don't

think that there is a version of an English national identity that is... I don't really think there is a nationalism that's good. I don't think that that's a route you can really go down. I don't think there's a Canadian national identity that's good. No. I think that the idea that these things can be wedded to some kind of progressive principle, especially through spectacle, is not... But on the other hand, it's

football. I like to watch it. It's fun. I like to cheer for the guys. They seem nice. And it is like, in as much as you can't have a progressive, inclusive nationalism because nationalism always has to be exclusive, it is nice that if we have to

have it, which it seems that we do uh we are being offered at like a sort of a mass market a mass consumer level of it something that is explicitly inclusive of more people rather than just being like no fuck you yeah i think that's this and i think that it's it's something where the sort of you know where the something where the worst instincts of this country have been, I'd say, so powerful for so long. It's almost like it has been such a beating down that to have anything different feels like the world. And I think that's what leads someone like Caitlin Morin. That's what led people in 2012, right? Because in 2012, you were sort of off the financial crisis, off the Iraq war. This certain sections of the left which will spend a lot of time loudly proclaiming that they actually weren't watching because they were reading theory like two reasons one that

we're miserable cunts and for a second because that like we've we have signally failed to like take that thing from the right of just being cynical and just like, instead, we always have to be idealistic about this stuff. And it's like, no, enjoy the football and like use it to our advantage in order to push a narrative, which might be helpful to us later. That's all you have to do. I think I want to, I want to, I want to move on to a startup, which I've got for us. Okay. Uh, it's called Casa Fari. Oh. C-A-S-A Casa Fari. F-A-R-I. It's a house that goes on safari.

It is related to houses, Alice. Is it like you can go to like go look around other people's houses? Like a safari around houses? I mean, it's not just for looking around the other houses. I presume it's sort of like an Airbnb competitor thing. Vacation homes, travel. It is for transactions relating

to houses. Sell your house. Mortgage your house. It's a sell your house thing. So I'll tell you this. The estate agent's wearing a pith helmet. That's right. You take only pictures, leave only footprints in this single family home. That's right. You take only pictures, leave only footprints

in this single family home. It's a real estate network to enable and accelerate deals. Oh. Deals. It's a good zumping startup. It is. It is.

I'd say, having sort of looked through it, it looks somewhat like it was set up originally to be a competitor to Zillow or Zoopla or Rightmove or similar. Let's say you can connect with 15,000 plus real estate agents through MLS functions, complete market stock, history, yeah, in your area. Yeah, that's right.

Many of them are MILFs. Yeah, I'd like to filter these real estate agents by MILF. Yeah, for men of a certain age. A history of each property, all asset classes, and so on. But the fact that I said asset classes should give you a little hint as to who the customer of Casafari is. Oh, private equity.

That's right. Amazing. So let me ask you a question, Riley. Is this trying to force shared ownership on people or is it just trying to get private equity buyers to become landlords?

It's the second one. It's the second one. Wild. It's a real estate data platform. It was built in Lisbon. It's a bunch of Europeans at this company. What if one of them was another type of them? You fill in the rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Write it down. Answers on a postcard. It has raised a bunch of Series A, which is like funding to actually build their business and stuff. But more importantly, it has also been recently given $120 million as a mandate. So basically through their platform

to transact. So not to build their business, but to engage in transactions on their platform from a Geneva based private equity investor called Stoneweg. Stoneweg? Stoneweg? Yeah, having a Stoneweg. Having a Stoneweg, yeah.

And what they're trying to do is basically spend $120 million at once on as many single family homes as they can for this private equity investor. And they're trying to make that their main business. Okay. single family homes as they can for this private equity investor. And they're trying to make that their main business. Okay. Where private equity can just be like, here, I want to buy $100 million worth of single family homes in this area. And then this data platform can hit a button and be like, well, you did it. Well, that's great.

I can't see that having negative consequences for the housing stock of the country. Yeah. Well, you don't want any of it available. No, you don't want people to be able to own that. The natural condition is that capital owns it, and then you rent it from them. Yeah, because you want to be a van guy. Yeah, exactly.

A van coder, a digital owner. You're in the vanguard. According to CEO Nils Henning, what if a Danish guy was German? It's me, Nils Henning. What if a Danish guy was German? It's me, Nils Henning. Ja. That's like many Danish men. Yeah, to be fair. That's true.

Casafari has built a unique ecosystem which connects brokers, developers, asset managers, and investors, enabling sourcing, valuation, and deal collaboration on single units and all asset classes. Deal collaboration. And they want to- It's called price fixing in other markets.

Yeah. I mean, deals are inherently collaborative. That's the nature of a deal. Yeah, well, you know, it's more one person deal. Well, maybe you can't. Yeah, maybe. So let me just ask you. So it sounds like what this is, is it's a platform to accelerate private equity, purchasing residential properties as investment vehicles, and basically not even entertaining the notion that there would be occupiers wanting to buy a home.

The platform was built, I think, to be used just by real estate agents. It has now evolved to private equity companies that want to get into the landlord game. Got it. Yeah. Pretty cool, right? Yeah, you heard of being a landlord? Check it out. What if we combined two famously pleasant people to have any kind of relationship with landlords and private equity brokers? With tech people.

So, to go on, there are currently 70 billion euros of dry powder in Europe that could be allocated. Dry powder. It means free funds. Yeah, but they left dry powder over at the private equity offices. They've got loads of it in their desk drawer.

Cocaine. Yeah, that's right, Riley. There are currently around 70 billion euros worth of whitefish scale in Europe that could be allocated in acquiring residential property in a buy-to-let strategy, but there's no offer available. So basically there's no big portfolio of housing

available. Because there's no fucking houses! Yeah. People have already but like there are no fucking houses! Yeah. People have already, like, there are no new houses being built, so you're just playing fucking musical chairs with the same five people, but you're trying to, like, introduce

more dipshits to this. Well, what you're actually doing is you're making one guy really big so he can sit on all the chairs. Yeah, that's right. If you think of a load of houses, a portfolio of houses, there's a lot of small plates. Yeah. Right?

And then what you do, you're gathering all those small plates into one tasting mix. On some kind of like naval vessel. Yeah. And then you're selling it to a guy who's been on the dry powder. So they basically collect the properties in portfolios and then they can sell those portfolios of houses that they just... And you don't know if your house has been put into a portfolio, by the way.

It just happens. You just suddenly wake up and you're in a big folder. Is this not just another CDO? No, because it's not a bet on other things. It's actually... It's just a bundle of actual assets rather than debts and obligations. Yeah, it's just a bundle of actual houses. But it means basically that like the... You convert those houses into a hotel and then you use the hotel to charge people rent when they land on that square.

I can't believe Nils Henning has got like a big top hat and a monocle and drives around in his shoes. But that's and the thing is, right, what this basically means, number one, is that like yeah, the housing, the rental market in Europe is about to become a lot more consolidated because it just means that like... And consolidated means good. Yeah, con means

good. Insolidated means outcome. Yeah. And because that just means essentially that like a few private equity firms are going to be just trading your house that you rent between them, depending on what their risk manager has said in terms of how much of that asset they

can hold at a given time. And so they've disrupted your landlord. Yeah, your landlord is now CompuGlobal Hypermecical. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. But on the other hand, I'm not looking forward to having to like text CompuGlobal Hypermechanet

in order to try and get them to fix my boiler. Yeah, well, that's going to be another. But I mean, the right to fix your boiler is probably going to be sold off like Roman tax collection. I love the idea of just like the guy at the top of the private equity firm is having to handle these like minor kind of like landlord shit just like like a guy in an office in luxembourg somewhere who's like coked to the fucking eyeballs having to call a plumber and like bathing stuff and be like hi yeah do you do boilers yeah i'm gonna need like can you go around to like this house yeah i need you to go there go around to this house? Yeah, I need you to go there.

I own, like, four million houses. Yeah, I need you to go to one of the... I don't know the address. Like, one of them. The boiler is fucked, so you're gonna need to go there. Yeah, I don't know what my accent is either. He's like a Romanian guy with a bad head injury. I don't know. I'm in Luxembourg right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got four girls sucking my dick under the desk. They might be guys.'t know i haven't checked in years that just that's like a whole pipe that brings them in it's a pipe dream yeah that's right uh yeah so it's like yeah so it's what's instructive to me about this thing right is that it is funnily over women it's a combination of full of them it's a combination of two things, right? It's just a normal data platform that's just innocuously gathering a bunch of information to facilitate transactions for real estate agents, people looking for houses. But once you gather all that information together, once that information collects on a point, then a guy who's collected a bunch of money on a point is then able to put those two things together and then own all the houses, effectively.

Because the guy with all the money couldn't do it at scale without the data platform. And the data platform without the money is just a research project. But put together, it's an illustration, I think, of how even just the fact of gathering a bunch of information and gathering a bunch of information and gathering and processing a bunch of information together

is a very political act even if you're just even if he doesn't seem that way in the first place. Because also once all of these houses are bundled together in a big package

and they're all owned by one guy even when that guy is the guy from the phone call. Yeah, that's right. It's me. Yeah, Jan's dick sucks.

Yeah. So I bundled all your houses in the whole country. I own every house in Britain now, and I own some of the sheds. So I own all the houses, and now I'm going to sell them to my colleague, Jan Blojob. And I'm not going to

sell them back to like four million different guys. That's too much effort. So I take all the houses. This is like the scene in the big short where Margot Robbie explains the CDO. It's just this discount big short. In order to explain this concept, we've got Milo Edwards doing his stupid voice. Yeah, that's right. In a bubble bath.

Isn't that the whole deal of our show? Yeah. Yeah, bundled together all this shit. So when I sell it, I'm going to sell it as a bundle. I'm not going to split it back up. So now all of the four million houses have to be owned by like one guy. And it's going to be like me, Jan Stigixak or Jan Blowjob or Dick Blowjob or whatever. Dick Blowjob who came over from America.

Yeah, that's right, Dick Blowjob. He's, well, he's Jan Blowjob's American cousin. Uh-huh, who came over here. Yeah, that's right. It was actually Dick Fallatio, but they changed it at Ellis Island. So they're Italian now. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, Dick Fallatio. All right, so theyollario. I actually looked at the comments on a TechCrunch article about this, where someone pointed out that, isn't this going to immiserate everyone and push property prices up? Oh, what? Yes. It would be very funny if the CEO

just responded, yes, what the fuck are you going to do about it, pussy? Yes, I'm getting sucked four ways at the same time. Are you? Have you had to cut a hole in your desk chair to get rimmed? I didn't think so. Yes, I'm getting sucked four ways at the same time. That's all right. Are you? Yeah, maybe. Have you had to cut a hole in your desk chair to get rimmed? I didn't think so. I love this Caligulan private equity thing.

I'm on a sex swing. I'm smoking a shisha. I'm wearing a really loosely wrapped turban. Yeah, it's me. I'm a fucking new age Jan Diksak. Yeah, I'm here. Welcome to the European financial sector, honestly. It is kind of like that. I kind of prefer this. I kind of prefer, instead of your

landlord being like a miserable English person, give me the like debauched Euro finance guy who's like got a fucking boat where he's getting rimmed on it. Yeah. I'm getting rimmed on it yeah i'm getting rimmed by chicks from a country that no longer exists thanks to a deal i just did canadians yeah well not anymore i finally bought canada my private equity fund what's the private equity fund called

milo so it's a funk hole finance Finance Ventures. There we go. Perfect. You got it. That's right. Get down in one. Yeah, we're at Twunk Hole. It's named after my grandfather, Twunk Hole. Yeah. He's from Prussia. Yeah, no longer exists. Neither does you. Keep sucking my dick. Twunk Hole Finance.

It's like something we hear from again. It's like Wu-Tang Financial, but the Wu has like an umlaut on it. Yeah, Wu. Wu-Tang. It's Wu. Here is what Nils Henning had to say. Through a haze of shisha.

Thank you for your comment, Matthew. Good point. And we thought about it. I bet you did, you fucker. From an ESG, which is Environmental Social Governance Goals, perspective, we help cities bring local communities back to city

centers by acquiring properties formerly... This was written by a guy holding a clipboard and, like, dictated by the guy into, like, some she-they pussy. We help cities bring local communities back to city centers by acquiring properties formerly used for short-term rentals besides by consolidating and professionalizing fragmented rental markets we increase energy efficiency i'm sure though i'm sure that you know funkhole

finance will be replacing your boiler yeah that's right they will be doing that and availability of professionalized affordable living, because they won't be raising the prices either. And they'll be doing it. And the guy they hire to manage it will be different from the guy that your current landlord hires to manage it. No, because we've been over this. They won't hire a guy

to manage it. That guy will do it all in-house. Yeah, they'll call. He'll be so... The guys at Funkhole Finance will be so high they'll be able the guys at Twunk Hole Finance will be so high yeah Jens Dixack I'm smoking opium right now there's a fucking what there's a fucking leak I don't know do something about it

just plug in the money you got like putty or something I don't know put cum in there I'm not a fucking plumber you're the plumber I have to call fucking Yeeps Blumpkin to ask if I can like mail up some pictures. Milo, I really have to say though

on that last response you kind of trended into Donald Trump's Dutch cousin. Yeah. Which actually he was. Twinkle Finance was a partnership. You don't have plumbers over there? What's the problem? I call the plumber here. He showed up with his dick through a pizza.

I had to suck him off. There wasn't even a leak. That's right. He's just a guy. I got into the business of Eurofinance through the Caligula debauchery, not through the finance. I got into it as an orgy organizer. I was so fucking high, I called a plumber.

We don't have any pipes. We replaced all the pipes with tubes to bring the chicks in oh god euro finance debauchery I love that I don't shit anymore the opium helps

I haven't shit in years we increase energy efficiency and the availability of professionalized affordable living, thus help investors and governments solve the housing

and land crisis, achieve sustainability, equality, and better consumer protection. Also, from day one, and we have to forget everything we said because I didn't read this bit.

Right, okay. So this is actually good. Right. From day one, we are committed to equality, diversity, and inclusiveness both in the company and our business. Yeah, because they're based Eurovibes.

They're like based Eurovibes, guys. Of course, they're not like... I'm getting sucked off by a fucking Benetton ad right now. So never mind all the stuff we said earlier. They have all that stuff in their business vision, so ignore the previous thing. This guy is not going to fix your pipes because he's too busy getting like

he-him pussy, she-her pussy, he-him dick, she-they dick she they dick like Zeezer pussy like the whole fucking rainbow of inclusion for this guy Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it's like that's what they do it at orgy. Yeah, they're gonna give you a house pronouns No boiler yeah, ain't that just the case anyway, that's Casa Fari pronouns. You're going to love it. Pronouns, but no boiler. Ain't that just the case? Anyway, that's Casafari. That's what that company sure is about. It's about that

particular Eurofinance. Why do you need hot water for? Washing your dick? You're just going to get it dirty again. Alright. I want to do a little bit of the British politics zone as well okay we were having so much fun

with Euro vibes and now you yank us back into Anglo vibes here's the thing right there is quite a bit to say about the fact that like every journalist in this country seems to have been just completely bamboozled once again by Tory framing on

two issues. They love to get bamboozled. Number one, the fact that the Tories have just said, alright, well, we got rid of the guy who was getting topped off in his office, like some kind of debauched Eurofinance guy. We got rid of Eurofinance Matt Hancock. Matt Hancock was

punished for trying to be two Euro vibes. Yeah. It's because that woman wasn't called Tracy. Then it would have been fine. Yeah. Gemma or something like that. It's a British name. Yeah, exactly. Essentially what has happened is that, as we know,

the Sag is back in charge. The Sag. And this is all now the group of guys who are like look covid and what's a pandemic it's what even is it it's a vibe i guess let's just unlock everything all at once and pretend it's not the vaccination program going well but not complete it's good enough i'm sure it'll stick we've put george costanza in charge of pandemic management and so the they've said well look if we don't unlock on July 19th when will we ever unlock

and after that slightly later yeah oh sorry I can't hear you from the gulag of my own luxury house I don't mean to like be like because the lib opposition to that isn't

a total straw man there are a couple of people who have been so fucked up by the pandemic that they're just like, we can never unlock ever, ever. But like by the same token, you don't have to be like, nope, we're doing it next week. Fuck you. Yeah. And also a lot of the details of it are kind of insane, because even if they're like, OK, for like economic and social reasons reasons we really want to reopen certain things that aren't open now like nightclubs whatever okay yeah you can make an argument for that but why would you say and also don't wear a mask on the tube anymore there's no reason to stop wearing a mask on the tube that's just like a good idea

tory party management yeah it's like giving giving a bunch of red meat to like anti-lockdown guys who all hate it and are still furious despite having been given more than they could possibly have wished for on the basis that this is some kind of trap. There should be an orgy on the tube. It's compulsory. That's European.

If it's European, there'd be women there. It's all men. They should be at home. It's all blokes that aren't allowed to see their kids. It's fathers for justice and swings. So anyway, so that's one of the things that sort of the British press in general has been just like completely fucking taken by. Like the Marx they are who love it. They love to get bamboozled.

Yeah. And the second, and of course, the response by Starmer to this is basically a few sort of points. You're welcome. No, he actually says, I think we should call the Delta variant the Johnson variant. Cool. Yeah. Epic.

Some more partridge shit. Pure partridge. But yeah, that is some classic, just dangerous Donald stuff. To be like, actually, I call the virus Boris Johnson. Yeah, that's right. Oh, the real virus. And again, the clowns in Congress. Yeah, the real virus.

I love it when politicians do clowns in Congress. It's pretty good. The coolest thing he's ever done is he did a clowns in Congress thing. Also, what's really funny about that is that it doesn't really... I mean, the Delta variant like, it originated in India. So it's not even really, although Boris Johnson has exacerbated the spread of it in Britain, like,

you can't really... It's the Narendra Modi variant, if you have to put a guy's name on it. But like... Yeah. Stealing the achievements of people of colour, yeah, again. But the idea of calling it a uh the idea of being like oh it's the johnson variant

and yet also like the ashworth has been making the labor shadow secretary has been making sort of i think we should give it back to india like it's typical britain stealing stuff ashworth has basically said um yeah you should be

you don't have like full sick pay, you don't have full sick pay and you don't have enough data. It's like, ah, cool. That's the best we can muster, huh? Yeah. Cool. Awesome. But the other thing, the other thing that British journalists

have allowed themselves to be completely, you know, buffaloed about is this idea that Johnson relaxing all of the restrictions at once, including like also the mask thing. It's just not just on the tube. In shops and restaurants and taxis and stuff.

You'll be able to cough in people's faces if you want. Yeah, and then, and so if you're... It's called being English. And so basically what it means is that a bunch of service workers will die. Yeah, who are going to all disproportionately young are all going to

be exposed more or less on purpose, by Boris Johnson to the coronavirus because of Tory party management. Well, yeah, I mean, not to be too hyperbolic, but they are going to kill a lot of people for the sake of anti-mask Baz, who is going to hate the whole thing anyway. And may I say,

Kalima! anti-mask Baz who is going to hate the whole thing anyway. And may I say, KALIMA! The thing that I guess makes sense to me about this is like, obviously we would be remiss if we didn't note that at present, while hospitalizations and deaths are rising with the caseload, they are not rising in a way commensurate with their rise prior to vaccination. So there is obvious evidence that vaccinations, even one shot, but certainly two shots, reduce the overall severity of symptoms. Great. But two problems exist here. Number one, not a lot of people under 30, for example, have gotten both doses. And obviously, a lot of people

under 18 have not gotten any doses. We have already started to see lots of issues with long-term problems, even in young people. The Delta variant has, as I understand it, stronger symptoms, more severe symptoms in young people to include young children. And even more than that, this creates an environment in which you are basically asking for another variant to emerge that can, in fact, defeat or, you know, bypass the vaccine to a greater degree than the ones we've seen already. Yeah, no, call out the Stalmer variant. yeah and the thing that kills me about it it's like look all right i understand that you know as things get to a certain point you can start to open up again and there's gonna be i mean like there's stuff that's insane i've seen things where people children doing outdoor activities children under 10 doing outdoor activities in like the actual city of san francisco are being

required to wear masks the whole time like that's it's kind of fucking bonkers you don't need to go that far all the time britain on a whole noticed that, for example, outdoor mask usage is not really that big of a deal unless you're in a gathering of people. And there has not been a huge departure in infections in America versus Britain, where in America, even outdoors, people have been really strongly encouraged to wear masks, whereas here, it's not really as big of a thing outdoors. So there are examples of people going too far with what you might call alarmism, but I don't think it's Alan Sugar about like I will never employ anyone who works from home. Get back to the fucking office now. That's commercial landlords in Britain. That's who the Tory party are

and are for. Again, I can't stress enough. Two of Alan Sugar's siblings have died of COVID. Yeah, that's why you can trust him. Lord Sugar. It's just very funny every time I remember that we have to listen to a guy called lord sugar the inventor of the amstrad emailer and sugar daddy sugar and lord sugar the

two genders the fact that there's been a back and forth on brexit between alan sugar and andrew adonis the fact that i have to explain to people back in america that there are in fact two guys named lord sugar and lord adonis and that's not a joke. Believe me, it's annoying. But I think that Alan Sugar's comment is pretty indicative of what's going on, that this is absolutely the Tories just being Tories. And I think you have to accept that things are going to need to open up even before you get to zero cases, zero hospitalizations, et cetera. But why so fast?

Why now? Why say just damn the torpedoes? We're never fucking doing it again. And it's like, to me, it's like, guys, you are absolutely priming the pump for the situation to get unexpectedly worse and everyone is going to have seen it coming and everyone just the same fucking worms back in march 2020 were like whoa why don't americans want herd immunity we need herd immunity herd immunity is the answer while

like fucking everyone's grandparents were dying the same fucking people are gonna run cover for them and be like oh how could we how how could we have known that there was going to be another variant it's like because that's what fucking has happened everywhere that it's spread uncontrolled and right now epidemiology badil there yeah and right now your plan for mitigating this is well vaccinate everyone at our own pace who's 18 or older and then every child in britain just needs. Yeah. Well, that has long been the policy of the British political leader. Not necessarily in the same. We're doing the children of men speed run, right? Which is great.

This is so fucking cool. And also, the thing also is... Except in this version of children of men, we want the children to die. No, we will have killed them. Also, like the thing, long COVID or whatever, so, like, the possibility that even if you are vaccinated, you will get, like, mild symptoms, but get something that, like, fucks you up long-term

is not something to, like, take lightly. But instead, it seems that we're taking everything lightly, because, uh, we're bored now, I guess? Yeah. I mean, I'm fucking bored. I'm frustrated. But like, I'm also not the fucking Prime Minister. Thank God. I have exactly

one take on it, Alice, and that is, at this point, everyone who is a boomer who is medically able to take the vaccine has been offered a second dose at this point. And now they've got theirs, so all the bounty of England is the boomers reward they are going to be they need their treats again and everyone else is just going to have to

fucking get covid damn the torpedoes that's the british way nice and i must stress that if you're bored of the pandemic as we all are you're none of you are as bored of the pandemic as the tories are of governing they They hate governing. They're so mad that they've had to do actual governing for like a year and a half. Even the bare minimum they've actually done. They cannot wait to get back to just like selling stuff to property developers. Like that is like they cannot wait until they never have to do an actual thing ever again. Well, I think the other thing to remember, right, is all the things that have gone well

about pandemic management have been managed to the NHS. Yeah. I think the other thing to remember, right, is all the things that have gone well about pandemic management have been managed to the NHS, which is the vaccine thing. And so all of the things that have been managed poorly, basically, have been managed by the government. And now they're saying, well, it's personal responsibility. And our journalist class is like, well, time to take you at your word. I don't see any reason to not do that. Why would I ask a follow-up question? What are you, Jeremy Corbyn? Come on. And the other thing, right, it's the other thing, the other half of this that I want to talk

about in terms of his libertarian instincts is that, yeah, this is, he's not a fucking libertarian. He never has been anything close to, like, what these people think of as a libertarian, which is someone who genuinely believes that the state should get out of people's way.

Boris Johnson, for all his faults, he has sex with adult women. The people who are describing him as a libertarian have an idea of what a libertarian is, which he isn't even. If you think about what are the things that are being passed right now, one thing that makes it an offense to rescue a drowning person

based on their ethnicity, on their nationality. Yeah. And another thing that basically criminalizes the way of life of an entire ethnic group and also makes it illegal to protest noisily. Which, by the way, I really want to check someone's ID before I rescue them from drowning. That is the new law about

borders and nationality. Yeah, it fucking is. Yeah. And the idea that the same crop of journalists who just love to get... I mean, I should stop being surprised by it myself, but it's just hard to look at these people as having some kind of measure.

They would consider themselves as having some kind of executive function, measure of success in their career, whatever. Sense of self. Theory of mind. But they are able to just... I mean, of course, there's two sort of

wolves inside of me. And the first one is saying it's their job to not get buffaloed, to get buffaloed by this stuff. If they weren't buffaloed by this stuff, then they would be at local papers. They wouldn't be national level senior reporters.

And the other wolf was bred in Siberia to be extremely gay and radioactive. Yeah, well, there's a third... He is very, very dangerous. Do not approach the gay radioactive wolf.

He's only... No, we have to get him for that Eurofinance guy. He's the only man powerful enough to fuck the gay radioactive wolf. There's a third wolf inside me I guess being fucked by a fourth wolf

just give me one spare wolf Riley's wolf forging which is basically right hello I'm wolf forging and I also work wolf forging is your new landlord. Twunk Hall. Twunk Hall Finance. Yeah. I'm going to put you through to

Wolfgang Orgy. Wolfgang Bang. Wolf Orgy went to Phillips Exeter and then Harvard. He has kind of an international school American accent. Anyway, no, this spare wolf that's not involved with the others. It's saying to the first one that's having the conversation with it's like it still says but i still you still

expect that they must have some level of shame some level of just self-awareness that like that they are because they all idolize like the fucking journalist as the hero they idolize their west wing shit of uncovering the scoop or whatever that that there is there is just but to them the scoop is like when someone is rude yeah that's true yeah but to clarify so the first wolf and the fourth wolf having this philosophical debate over the top of the other two wolves who are ravenously fucking yes correct okay good yeah uh i didn't put the for those middle two wolves in mark mark that on your trash you're being around it's like i'm not a pervert. Those two wolves are just there. But I'm also not a homophobe

so I'm not going to stop them. Two wolves trying to record a podcast while the other two wolves are just fucking each other. So look, we're going to go a little long but I promised myself that I promised myself I would include this

particular reading. Okay. A nation conceived in liberty I promised myself I would include this particular reading. Okay. A nation conceived in liberty confronts its queasiness with the, quote, MILFmobile, unquote. Hell, fuck yeah. Why has someone written an article about my car? Now, see, Milo, this is a subject that's very close to your heart.

It is. To quote the great Eugene Depp. It's closer to my heart than the four wolves in my head. To quote the great Eugene Debs, as long as there is a woman in leopard print underwear, I too am a MILF. Yeah, that's right. So this is essentially a, this is another, if we want to sort of go on our theme

about sort of libertarianism, nanny statism, what is the sort of correct amount of state overreach? The big government is trying to stop you from fucking MILFs. What is the peak age for a MILF? But this just gels with one of your core interests. It does. Essentially. Yeah.

So, Brittany Glidden drives Maine's most beloved vehicle. That's a MILF name already. Yeah. It's a 2013 Chrysler Town and Country minivan. Yes. An enormous custom-made MILFmobile logo is plastered on its rear windshield. Hell yeah.

Britney, DM me. Let's talk. You sort of say that MILF is actually an economic category. Socioeconomic category, yes. Because to be a MILF, right, and there's something I elaborate on in my forthcoming stand-up show, which you can get tickets for.

MILF is a socio-economic category in the sense that to be a MILF, you don't actually need to be a mother. No. What you need to be is you need to be a woman of a certain age, of course, but you also need to be a woman of a certain socio-economic class. So it means, a minivan means. Exactly. Yeah, because you can't be a

working class MILF. There are attractive working class women, but they can't be MILFs because a MILF has to be a woman of leisure, right? To be a MILF, you have to have a husband who's wealthy enough to go away on business. So you're saying the MILF is a type of voter? Yeah, exactly. They are a demographic. They're a demographic you can appeal to. The Democrats

could micro-target the MILFs. You know what? They're mostly Tories. I'm not going to lie to you. They're a demographic you can appeal to. The Democrats could micro-target the MILFs. You know what? They're mostly Tories. I'm not going to lie to you. They're mostly Tories in Britain. In America, they're probably mostly Democrat, I would say. Well, I think it varies state by state. Yeah, probably.

Although Maine, I think, is a swing state for MILFs. Well, MILFs are always swinging. I think as goes the MILF, so goes the state. The bellwether MILF. We're doing surveying milfs in fucking Florida. We've heard about Florida man, but what about Florida milf?

Indeed. So, Glidden's Ride also sports several bumper stickers, including Wolf Blitzer, standing on a huge fucking diagram of milfs. Yeah, four wolves blitzer. Yeah, that's right. Glidden's Ride also sports the bumper stickers such as, Kids in this bitch.

Honk if one falls out. If you gotta ride my ass, at least pull my hair. Condoms prevent minivans. And then her license plate says, Tits out. Nice. This woman is such a fucking queen. Well, you may say this. We may all say this.

We do. Democratic State Senator William Diamond. Billy Diamond. You'd think a Democratic state senator called Billy Diamond would be into this kind of thing. A man with a porn ass name. Main state senator Johnny Sittons. What does he have to say about the MILF reveal? Unfortunately, but this is an example of, I think, some nanny state overreaching we can all afford to condemn.

That's right. Which is the nanny state should be looking after the kids of the milfs while we fuck. So the new bill introduced a bill banning vulgar and obscene vanity plates that would include tits out. Cuck shit. Absolute cuck shit. This is the same shit they tried to pull on Ass Man in Saskatchewan. And now they're trying to pull it on the MILF man. The MILF woman.

The MILF man is a powerful energy. The MILF man who lives down Drury Lane. Look. Riding a little electric cart to meet the MILFs. Yeah, that's right. Delivering MILFs to your house

in the morning. Milo, let me ask you a question as the subject matter expert on MILFs and also on... My pleasure. It's a pleasure to be here. Venn diagram overlap of Englishness and MILF knowledge. That, the level of the stuff on the bumper stickers and stuff like that,

is that a kind of thing you could get away with in Britain? Like, would people get mad? Would people get weird? Like, I know bumper stickers aren't as big of a thing here. I'm just wondering because that is a bit forward for America. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, I'm not condoning people being weird prudes about it. But that, you'll get more public pushback for having stuff like that on your car in America. Whereas Britain also has the, like, you know, if you go to a pub and you meet, like,

a 45-year-old lady in, like, a leopard print jacket who calls herself the BJ Queen, that's just, like, a normal night out. Oh, yeah, tits and splits and blowjob Stacey. What? I never tell you about when I met two women who called themselves tits and splits and blowjob Stacey in a McDonald's at 1 o'clock in the morning

in Cambridge. And you say, did it have any effect on you? Well, they weren't, to be fair, they weren't MILFs. They were probably about 30, I guess. And I was like, maybe like 21. So you met the cock destroyers, essentially. I met the cock destroyers, yeah. So we were chatting to them, it was me and a friend of mine,

and then they're explaining to me about being tits and splits and blowjob Stacey, and then I was like, okay, so which one of you is tits and which and blowjob Stacey and then I was like okay so which one of you is tits and which one of you is splits and then the first one goes no I'm tits and splits she's blowjob Stacey and I'm like okay and then the woman who calls herself tits and splits

proceeded to get out her tits and then do the splits and then there was this kind of bizarre moment as everyone just turned to blowjobstacey? Like, how are you going to follow that? What are you going to... And she had to catch a flight to Luxembourg. Bizarrely.

Yeah, in order to fuck your new landlord. Yeah, that's right. She had to go and beat Wolfgang Bang. But yeah, sorry sorry the bumper stickers in britain no one has bumper stickers they're very rare and the people who do have bumper stickers are really helped by just like some punctuation i guess yeah and clarify the difference between the two of them exactly the other day i did see a a bumper sticker in the uk which when you see one it immediately sticks out because no one has them and it just in huge letters just said my child is autistic and i'm just kind of like how should that influence my driving like i don't understand why do you want me to throw this tailgating my mum my other car is a train um yeah bumper sticker just said well but britain is a mind your own business

country that if we have like a national uh character it is like do not do not interact with other people right so no matter what you write on your car people will just be like okay that's weird but i'm not gonna i'm not gonna talk to them about it yeah what you immediately even if you have like a huge

swastika on the back of your car you become the weirdo for being the guy who goes over and goes what you have like a huge swastika on the back of your car, you become the weirdo for being the guy who goes over and goes, what's the deal with that swastika? That's the greatest social faux pas in Britain. And that tells you everything you need to know. So basically, right, this, the 2015, a new law was passed. I'm desperate to understand the process of the passage of this law. Yeah.

was passed i would i'm desperate to understand the process of the passage of this law yeah eliminating the secretary of state's power to reject vanity plates on like on like their own uh uh what's on their own recognizance on their own like uh volition right right they no longer have the power to step in and reject a vanity plate as of 2015 step. Okay, so the way was clear for tits out until... Yeah, well, so in 2015, you could say, like, you know, the secretary, you could have a license plate that specifically is rude about the secretary of state. Yeah, but you've got to fit it into...

And they could do nothing about it. You've got to fit it into a license plate frame, and, like, US license plate numbers are a lot shorter than British ones. So, like... Yeah, but in US license plate numbers are a lot shorter than British ones. So, like... Yeah, but in US license plates, you can just have whatever you want as a vanity plate. In California, you

can even have hearts in them. That's true. Whereas in Britain, you can only buy... In California, you also, though, they do review them, and they reject them on very arbitrary lines, but sometimes it's very, very funny. I really want, I would have really loved to live in California

and get a number plate that was just eight hearts because then if you're being chased by the police like, oh, the number plate is a heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, heart. We have ascertained the suspect's number plate is a... You should be able to get a long enough vanity plate so it can say,

sorry, my mistake. Do not assist me. I just recall this thing from Los Angeles Magazine where they went through the spreadsheet of the rejections of vanity plate applications. Yes, I remember this too. And why, and they're amazing. Someone put, be my bae. And the DMV comment says,

no bae equals poop in Danish. So no, you can't have it. That one, I'll leave that one along we're both scrolling on this same one at the same time but there is one that I think both Nate and I have in mind which is

BMW HNTR the applicant explanation is playful joke and the DMV comments, BMW hunter, he has an Audi, so he's hunting down BMW drivers? I found it, I found it. Okay, so they applied for the license plate, Tuna Fish, T-U-N-A-F-S-H. Oh, yeah. Applicant explanation, I'm a professional fisherman, and I fish for tuna all over the world.

DMV comments. I googled him. He is and he does. And they rejected it. I mean, fine. Fuck you. ONW to BYB. Applicant explanation.

On my way to bang your bitch. Oh, you're going to let that one through come on dmv comment don't no no no no no dmv comments what he said revert it no so um what they what they say what diamond says is he says i'm no prude or interested in letting big brother run our lives but i want to be able to control people right on their cars. But what we are now allowing has gone way beyond the original intent of the vanity plate program. This is not an attempt to implement strict... What was the intent? It's so people can have fun with their cars.

Not too much fun. Yeah, like, have wholesome fun. I have another California plate. I'm going to interrupt you with this one. What they wanted was dick extension. D-C-K-X-T-S-N. Applicant explanation. I'm the extension of my dad.

My father's name is Dick and I was named after him. And then the DMV comments are, Dick extension, customer's name is Brant. That's right. My name is also Brant. I actually, the girl I dated who was from California Her older brother was 6'7 No younger brother sorry her younger brother was 6'7

And he had the number plate 6'7 guy On a Toyota Prius station wagon That is a Toyota Prius station wagon So if you meet him That guy we've just identified now Yeah say hi to him Probably we actually shouldn't have that specific guy in there.

I respect them. I respect them for being able to do it. I will say also, one time driving in Chicago, I saw someone with an Illinois license plate that was just, do me now. And they let him have it. So you know what? Maybe California needs to stop being so goddamn fucking... Yeah, it was actually dome now.

And Maine needs to get on the trolley. It says, this is not an attempt to implement strict Puritan guidelines. There are plenty of opportunities for free speech. Not too free, though.

You know, don't have fun with it. Get the application, G-A-S-P-A-S-R, applicant explanation, I'm a nurse and anesthetist, DMV comments, gas passer, she passes gas, brackets, farts. comments. Gas passer. She passes gas brackets. Farts. So the current Secretary

of State in Maine also supports Diamond's proposal, which is basically like, let the Secretary of State veto the license plate. It goes up to the governor. It's sort of more... I got a report for license plate clemency to the governor. Let me have TWNK bus.

Yeah, I want the state Supreme Court to rule on the constitutionality of me driving around in a car with tits out on it. Yeah, you don't understand. I run a company called Twunk Hole Finance. That's why I need the number plate Twunk Hole. My fetish is to drive around Maine in an old wood-sided station wagon. Yeah, that's right. I'm so rich that I like that now.

I'd love a wood-sided station wagon. Yeah, of course you would, Alice. One of my favorite games on road trips as a kid was the license plate game, said the Secretary of State. But sadly, this is not a game I'd recommend.

Well, Secretary. But sadly, this is not a game I'd recommend secretary but sadly this is not a game i'd recommend to kids on maine's roadways today yeah they might learn the word tits you just can't escape the proliferation of the f word or worse what i love about this is that what these people think is gonna happen if a child learns the word tits because i have news for them it's absolutely nothing well hey they already know the word tits first of all and and also everyone has been a child so you know that when you were like eight you knew the word tits and you thought it was really funny like also like genuinely like explicit stuff in as much as you can possibly fit it into a license plate kids just are not going to

understand it's just to pass right over them. It's because really what they want is they don't want to see it. You're inventing a child to find a reason to ban tits out or whatever.

Join me in the mind nursery. This right is an example of where your various Yeah. Well, it's... Join me in the mind nursery. This, right, is an example of, I think, where, you know, the sort of... Your various, like, establishment Democrats in the Labour Party likes to shake hands, which is the idea that we have to interfere in every little pocket of your life. And we need to make it nice and clean and tidy how we like it, which means that what we have to do is rub all the rough edges off of everything that we see. This is bi-coastal, right? Because California,

as far as I can tell, has never rejected tits out, but it has rejected dick out. So there are a number of plates that are considered vulgar enough to be banned. Examples including thinly veiled profanities like, fuck you,

fuck you too, I E A T A 5 5 I want to ask what's the funniest car for a license plate with IDAS to be on Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Trapeze Cruiser. The only larder in Maine. Oh, yeah.

That guy definitely eats ass. You've got a gigouli in Maine, you're eating ass. You'll hunt a bite. I like the idea of registering that plate on a DeLorean because it implies you travel through time to find more ass to eat. Another one is just people suck.

So you can't express the feelings of a Nirvana song in your license plate in Maine. Misanthropy illegal. Which is funny because I mean, like people suck or whatever. Mean people suck was like a bumper sticker in the 90s that you'd see all the time in America. And so it is weird to me

that people are like, no, well, that's offensive. We can't have have it it's like people already put it on their cars all the fucking time like i don't know like there isn't an extent to which you know okay i get it like you know grossly sexual stuff the state can't really be like sure put it on your car but like the idea that you're going to be that prudish it's just it seems like i don't know almost like an enact like an anachronism something something also deeply weird about being this prurient about something that's like made very often with prison labor is oh yeah yeah yeah we every license plate in california every license plate in california is made with prison labor yeah yeah we can't make an incarcerated person stamp the word bussy onto a license plate at work yo what the fuck is twink bussy eh

i don't know it's been sold to me by this guy yeah well whereas in britain we have a different system for this which is you can basically have anything you want on a license plate as long as it has been on as long as it has organically been made so because the dbla has like number and letter sequential systems for issuing license plates and they hold some of them back which seem like ones that people might want to buy but not all pretty much you can search for cum or any number of these things on a number of websites and the dvla will sell them to you yeah exactly yeah as long as it's been in the sequence you can buy it i mean i did i did a thread a while back on the funniest license plates that i could find and uh let me tell you there's this i'm sure you did yeah yeah i i recall seeing a license

plate in florida because this is shared like a early internet 1.0 meme because florida license plates at the time had a great big uh orange in the middle of them you know citrus orange state and it was it was a randomly generated one it was a55 rgy but it looked like ass orgy and it's just like i actually like it better when i get a plate that's funny but it's randomly assigned to me uh but i don't really know what that would look like in the uk i don't even know if i've even seen funny plates in the uk before you could you could buy um you could buy ass boss Ass Boss if you want it. It's ASS805S. But you could buy Ass Boss. Someone buy us that license plate.

For a mere £9,744 you could buy a license plate that simply says Come To. Like the sequel to Come. Also, in 2019, in late 2019 like the sequel to come also

in 2019 in late 2019 the DVLA released all of the license plates with 69 in the middle so you can have so much fun with that yeah it's a fun number anyway so the last bit is that this person is a

Bernie Sanders 2016 Joe Jorgensen Libertarian Party 2020 switcher. And her main thing that she cares about is what she can have on her license plate. And I think that's, I don't want to go too far into like the psyche of the American voter because that has been explored.

300 million people whose concerns like vacillate between like, do we do socialism? Do we do something else based on who will let me put like piss jug on the back of my car like i said i don't want to get too far into sort of uh american sort of uh voter uh psychology because uh that's been that's that that is that is already out there we only care about mills it is very but we we had to talk about the MILFmobile. That's right. Incidentally, I do want to tell you that for a mere £329,

you can register a car in the UK with the license plate OO69UU. I don't want anyone to do that. OO69UU. I welcome the OO69, but I would add you can also register for about 600 quid the number plate TF69 hog are you sure it's wise to read your car's number plate

on the air anyway I think that's about it for today so we're all getting into our MILFmobile we're pulling getting into our MILF mobile. We're pulling on our cheetah print spandex. That's right. And we're all peeling out.

And we're going to go and wrestle. We're all going to go and wrestle for the entertainment of some Eurofinance guys. Yeah, that's right. We're going to Wolfgang Bang's party. It's a wrestling party. We're all getting into the treasure to Unimog, which has the license plate come to.

Please bring your own oil. God. Anyway, thank you very much for listening. You can get a second episode a week for $5 per month. It's the bonus one. It will be the bonus one. So don't forget to check that out. If you want to get into our MILFmobile

of bonus content, then do so. $5 a month. I bargain at any price, in my opinion. There's so much fucking, you can slap the roof of Milfmobile, you can spit so much content in here. Yeah, that's right.

Anyway, I'll see you all later. Bye. Bye. Bye.