TRASHFUTURE - Universal Cruddit: Monster Double Feature Sode ft Abi Wilkinson

Episode Date: December 4, 2017

The first episode featuring the fifth robot lion of our dumb internet Voltron! Journalist Abi Wilkinson (@AbiWilks) arrives as a guest and then is hoodwinked into leaving as a full time host because Hussein does the Get Out hypnosis on her. We (Riley, Hussein, Alex, Milo, and Abi) talk about a dumb round up of internet greivances including the killer jaegerbomb of Praljak, Twitter's ongoing difficulty with Nazis, and the weird generational greivances of Independent editor Sean O'Grady, who thinks millenials are famously too rich for our own good. The second half starts with a bizarre product, and then quickly transitions into a more serious discussion of the failures of Universal Credit and of the exterminist policies of right wing governments more generally. Come see us for a live recording at Alex's show at the Star of Kings on January 9th! Love, Riley

Okay, so look, guys, the thing I really hate is the pronunciation, you know the pronunciation thing where it's like, and then it has all the little symbols, I'm like, I don't under like... No, I never lived that. Yeah, I really hate it because I don't understand. Yeah. I just look at it, I'm like, you've not helped me in any way. It's great to be from England where you don't learn any other languages and then you just

pronounce everything. Maybe YouTube's probably got a pronunciation video, but you can't tell which ones are real. I think it's Pryak, it's certainly not Praljak. Praljak sounds like an English folk tale. If it's any compensation, I don't think his lawyers will like be writing to you anytime soon. I saw the picture before, I saw the knees, it's like, why is everyone showing this picture's guy doing a shot?

All right, I guess he's a party war criminal, he's a party dude, he's rude, crude and full of tune. I mean, are we talking about that first? I think that's... I mean, I have an idea, why don't we go around the table and say who we are and what we're here to do on the Libs, of course, and then let's charge into that guy's name, who I can't pronounce, but who did like the last Yeagerbomb. This is Trash Future, the podcast about how the future, unless we get fully automated

luxury space communism, is Trash. I am Riley on Twitter at Raleh. I'm Abby Wilkinson, I'm here to claim my name and definitively prove that I'm not a Stalinist. That's right. The entire way through. I mean, Trash Future is a really great place to redeem yourself, which is why we've had Robert McGarvey on the show.

Yes. I find it weird that our guests keep drinking poison. My name's Hussain Kizvani, you can follow me at hkizvani, and I'm sorry for any tweets that I do just generally. I'm Alex Keely, you can follow me at Alex Keely, K-E-A-L-Y. And yes, and my name is Milo Edwards at Milo underscore Edwards on Twitter. I am currently in what I think may be the worst town in Russia. Well, as far as we're concerned, you're no longer Milo in a bowl.

You're now Milo in an oversized coffee cup. Oh, nice. I don't know if that's like moving up in the world or moving down in the world. It's like a tiny home. It's like you've become more efficient. I mean, when he comes back to the UK, we can just get one of those giant sports direct mugs and force him to just speak into that. Perfect.

Yeah, I'll sit inside it like a small hamster. Just throwing out throwing out hot takes. Yeah, it's like it's like jirbling, but instead with a podcast. Oh, God. So as we were talking about before, you were you were saying Alex that there is something going on in the ICT why the we're just talking about. Well, it's just been like a crazy weekend that the that this should be like the biggest news story, the much mad news.

But it wasn't even the biggest of the day, but someone being convicted of war crimes and then killing themselves in the dock with a vial of poison and some of the quotes are like, it's just really one of the quotes literally reads like like a kind of internet hippo tweet or something like it's like what it just says. He said, Slobon and Pryak is not a war criminal. I'm rejecting the court ruling before raising a small container to his lips like the very sort of defiant statement of innocence with the most incriminating possible reaction. What this really strikes me as is the international war criminal version of you can't fire me

I quit. He was actually the Serbian War Criminals are the ultimate sad team, they they just want to die. There's no like it's not worth it. Like the the Hague don't understand them. Slobon and Pryak, they're all just like listening to my chemical romance in their cells. You could say you got a panic in the courtroom. I chug in with a haven't you people ever heard of dropping the goddamn charge?

I'm regular. How do they allow him like a glass of poison in the dock? Like, like, do they like that's like a weird thing to like order? Like, oh, yeah, what my one of my conditions is I require a glass of poison and they're like, oh, yeah, we can't see that going wrong. Celebrities writers are just getting so much more elaborate. Yes, I went Van Halen used to insist on there being 400 shots of poison in their in their dressing room in order to make sure that they play people organized.

OK, sorry. If you don't know about Van Halen and the Brown MMS, that's like a really irrelevant joke. It's not too dissimilar to our friend of the show, Drake, sneaking in booze into the Toronto Raptors, the Toronto Raptors. Yeah, the Toronto Raptors. Famous winning team. And he became yes again. So Drake and what's the stop?

Soberdam Priac. Yeah, exactly the same. Yeah. Well, have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time? Do we know? Do we know Drake's movements in the in some grainy photos along on massacre? I would really like to see Drake commit ritual suicide at a hockey game by drinking poison. That would be like that would be the highlight of 2017. I can't wait to edit the show and find out what I always listen to the show and I've

always just like, oh, Milo did a really good joke that I didn't hear when we were recording. So actually, like it's new to me as well as, you know, him probably. Like the only global events that speak to me now politically are ones that are like inherently surrealist, like a sort of like Drake committing suicide at a sports event and screaming like anime is misunderstood would be for me. I feel like the statement, the statement of the year. Here's some I guess his yeah, his suicide is a bit like it's like an improv sketch that that no one knew quite how to end so that they just want them to like

poison and then see an incredibly normal way to die. Just one more shot of poison, sir. It's so new. I mean, it is incredibly. It is incredibly emo and I can imagine that like in the trash, in the trash future that we're moving towards when we all go live in WeWorks in place from the show that he will become like this cult figure and you'll have like kids like wearing irony posters or irony t-shirts with his face on it.

So the only way the only way it could have been better if it is if he'd have gone the way of like ancient, ancient King of Bithynia, Mithridates, and had been taking small amounts of poison for years in order to be immune to it. He was afraid of being poisoned and then when he eventually tries to poison himself at his trial, he doesn't die because he's immune to poison, which is a real real thing that happened with that's extraordinarily elaborate. Isn't that from the Princess Bride? Yeah, the space is all my degree allows me to do is like make references like that that no

one actually enjoys. But you know, it enables me to say a thousand pounds a year. Well spent since we have so much content. We're quick firing our news brief, Abby. I think you've got you've got something coming in hot off the press. Damian Green's extensive workplace porn collection is a funny one, because I do actually, I don't, I don't think the police should be leaking this shit, but I also don't think MPs should be watching extends.

It's not even like a bit of porn. It's not like Damian Green was caught watching porn once. It's like Damian Green has like a allegedly large library of porn at work. It was like extensive amounts of porn. I'd like to just like chime in here and let him watch it if he needs to. Yeah, he doesn't just have the hentai. He has like the original manga still. He like leaves through them wearing like white gloves.

So it's like David Davis being like, this is the hill I'm going to die off. You know, if we are not allowed to work at one can work anymore. What kind of Britain is this? Because the thing is like, they don't, they've not checked every, you know, they checked his PC. He had extensive libraries of porn. We have no way of knowing that they don't all have extensive libraries. I wonder if like, if he archived them, yeah, does he, yeah, downloading porn, I guess

like, when you look at stuff on the internet, does it save the picture? I don't really know. I guess I fucked. I mean, if he, if he's downloaded them, like, has he saved them, right? I mean, I've, yeah, I'd love, oh God, yeah. Well, like he downloaded like torrent packets, which is like another question, which is like, how many, how many MPs are like using fit torrent in parliament? I really, I really want to know what porn he was watching.

Like the search, the search history is what I really want access to. Like the, like, uh, uh, millennial, uh, sucks dick for the first time to save up for a house deposit, like there's, there's, there's, there's a remit that was kind of ran a long time that I can't mention because it's libelous. I'm mentioning it off air is Milo's argument that given that the police have acted on ethically in leaking this data, they should have at least been more extensive and precise. To be honest, I think really what should have happened is the police should have

sat down to Amy and green and then said, you're going to have to work really hard to get off of this charge. He says, I'll do anything, officers, anything, and then there'll be a taxi outside. The thing that's getting lost as well is he did like, he's the image of accusations that he like sort of molested someone. Um, and which just makes kind of David Davis is principle to pro-wanking at where it stands, even though it's just sort of like, but you do realize that

like millennial sucks dick to get a property is a real genre of pornography. I'm learning so much about porn because I'm, there's, there's, there's this guy on the internet, Pete North, who is, I'm really, well, he's basically, he, he, he, he regularly just calls me absurdly sexy. I think the most recent one was, um, stupid, sexy or sexist. He could call me, I mean, he did, he did a major wink at me recently, but he doesn't know he called me a stupid commie bin. And every time that happens, a load of people tell me about another Pete

North, who's apparently, um, named for his, um, what's ejaculate volume? Peter North has featured on trash future. We have talked a lot about Peter North because you had that like argument. So I had beef with Peter North. Um, was it last month? It was, it must have been last month. I'm tired. I think a lot of people have had beef with Peter North to be fair.

Um, well, the problem is he, Peter was blocked me after I said, when I log on to you porn and search Peter North, I expect a massive cum stain and Twitter hasn't disappointed. Anyway, uh, he blocked me now. He just keeps on calling me like a bimbo or just like kind of retro 70 sexist turns bimbo is a type of kink online. Yeah. It, it again, I know that as well from BuzzFeed.

Yeah. Also, I love the idea that I, or when I say the idea of calling someone absurdly sexy, like a sort of a clown in a thong. It was definitely sex. No, it was not. I mean, I, I, you do wouldn't do one. Yeah. Come on, Abby, you're anti men, right?

Uh, anyway, welcome to trash future, a white genocide podcast about how mannercraft sponsored by the daily, I think the real, the real horseshoe theory is actually like, uh, right wing online people also being like, like, uh, race horse coming porn stars. That is, that is, that is the future liberals one. Um, I think, uh, in the, in the, in the spirit of quick, of quick fire first segment, uh, I'm going to, uh, switch over to my, my news item, uh, which is, uh, Twitter, um, Twitter, a regular normal website that is good.

Actually, who, um, after Donald Trump tweeted out a video of like two Dutch guys fighting, but then said it was like ISIS coming and pushing people off their bikes in the Netherlands, build the dyke. These, these ISIS attacks just get more, more sophisticated than Twitter said, um, that, uh, these videos, uh, as to why, like people demanded they got taken down, I think quite reasonably because, you know, the president of the United States is basically, you know, inciting racial hatred, more than usual, um, more, more, more, more sort of overtly, um, uh, and so, um, uh, uh, Twitter said these

videos are not being kept up because they are newsworthy or for the public interest, rather these videos are permitted on Twitter based on our current media policy, normal website, very regular, well, when, when the founding fathers of Twitter wrote the Twitter media policy, they of course, uh, never fully expected, uh, you know, the advances in technology with Nazi videos, um, you know, so when they said everyone, they were thinking more of a kind of a musket style, uh, Twitter was invented in 2008 when everyone had muskets. No one was, no one, no one was a Nazi in 2008 and everyone just listened to

black eyed peas. The idea was to create a sort of, uh, a citizen Nazi militia rather than, you know, just huge quantities of privately, uh, like remember when we all thought that like America was going to be like a Christian conservative country that was going to like ban comedy. Um, I, I, I enjoy Piers Morgan doing the sort of sir, sir, I can't, this is too hard. I can't believe the president is retweeted.

Not how can you not believe the president is retweeting that? How can you not believe the president who has retweeted Nazis in the past is going to continue retweeting Nazis? And then sir, British Nazis, I can't believe you're retweeting British Nazis. As we chose sir, sir, sir, have you no decencies? So I think that like Piers Morgan's relationship with Donald Trump is a lot like the 500 days of summer thing where he genuinely believes that I don't

know, I actually have, you know what? I've only ever seen 500 days of summer once. So actually the plot's completely wrong. But the point was, the point was that I think that Piers Morgan genuinely thinks that Donald Trump can change and he's the one who can do it. Um, uh, so I mean, we all know how this is all going to end up for Piers, which is somehow in his pants in a railway station. Um, well, if anyone, if anyone can get into Donald Trump's phone and

delete his tweets, I saw the, I saw the unabridged, the unabridged is that the one Damien Queen said? Yes, I've been, I've, I actually watched 420 days of summer away nicer film. No, we actually, what I think is hilarious before I continue with this Twitter Nazi thing, like there's a Twitter Nazi thing every week. Um, but, uh, we, when we were deciding what time to record today, uh, in our group DM, uh, Hussein said, law, let's record at 420 as a joke, but then because no one had any other better ideas, we all just agreed to it.

And we started recording at like five. That's a 420 way. I assume that's 420 plus 60. We could have at least started recording 69 minutes later for the second. But I don't know if you do that. I work in the city. Um, so, uh, anyway, uh, Jack Dorsey, the regular founder of Twitter, a normal website, uh, said we mistakenly pointed to the wrong reason.

So yeah, good 280. I'm so glad we have 280 now that, um, concision is no longer important. We mistakenly pointed to the wrong reason. We didn't take action on the videos. Okay. Triple negative here, um, from earlier this week, we're still looking critically at our current policies, um, and appreciate all the feedback, see our safety calendar for our plans and ship dates.

Is a safety calendar like Essex police's advent calendar. Black people. I hate police trying to be funny on the internet. Yeah. It never works. It never plays with them. It's like creepy police shit shit. Sort of like terrifying, horrible kind of it's one thing, like

innocent smoothies pretending to be your friend. It's nothing like Essex police innocent smoothies on Thanksgiving, um, the police would like pull people over for expired tags, but then just give them turkeys instead. I saw, I saw, oh my God, we have power, but we're not going to use it this time. That was the one where like the police like stopped, like messed around for a bit and was like, here, have an ice cream. Yeah.

What do they, how do they think they're perceived? No, that's like, that's literal gaslighting. Yeah. So this was like years ago before the ice cream switcher used and was in Teen Vogue. So the turkey thing that you just said, can we rewind to what? So, so what? So they pulled people over and then they pretend they, but then they're like,

we're going to give you a ticket, but here's a turkey. It was something like quite a lot of people accepted a turkey. They actually didn't want because they didn't want. It's like have a turkey or I don't have a turkey in my backseat. I don't want the thing you also have to remember is like they're going around sort of like largely black neighborhoods where a lot of people probably like have been targeted by the police in the past and after traumatic experiences being targeted by the police, like mothers have to give them 11 year old sons talks

about how to be non-confrontational to the police. It gets shot dead. I'm so surprised that one of these turkey handouts didn't end up in a blood bath. Well, that might have just like, you know, been cut out. Yeah, of course. In archives. It's such a, it's such a weird gift as well, like a turkey of all things.

It's like, that's not, I mean, depending on where you're on your way to, that's not going to keep. There's a lot of storage ish. I mean, they could get sued for like Salmonella or some shit. I'm pretty sure it's a risky move. But yeah, I think the Essex police like advent calendar of black people, they want to arrest. It's sort of, it's like an escalation of the, all those signs that are in shops

everywhere that say, smile, you're on CCTV, like the like weird passive aggressive Orwellian police state. Well, it's like, we're watching you, you cunts. Like, it's so, it's so odd. It's just, why can't it just say like CCTV? If they, if they need you to know, like, it has to be like, no, smile, especially you women or in love, give us a smile for the camera. On a somewhat related topic.

Did you see McCain's daughter having a go at Ashley? The, I think she's a Gorka or whatever. Ashley Feinberg. Yeah, yeah. So basically, obviously she did a tweet that was a little bit clear about the fact McCain's dying and handles has also pushed for a bill that both cuts healthcare and also cuts inheritance taxes owning the lips. Yeah.

I'm just being sort of like apologized to my mother. He's just fucking like, you know, be grateful. We are killing your family. It's the, it's the exterminism, essentially. Right. Like it's the, it's the, we're, um, it's the, it's, it's the sort of obsession with sort of the aesthetics of politics. I, I, I re, I mean, I, I wrote a thing that was rude.

So I wrote a thing. A few months ago, a load of, um, British centre has got really mad at me because I said that maybe people who are scared McCain's going to kill them. It's okay for them to be rude online and maybe they're just like, you know, raise it, raise the tension and, um, and people got really mad at me. You hurt their feelings. I was, I went, I went against the civility norm. Um, and I suggested that, um, Jess Phillips unfollowed me on Twitter because of it.

That's one of the things that happened. I don't know if it's because of that, but it's the same time. Come on, fake friends. Oh God. Now she's going to, I hope she doesn't, someone's going to tell him. I said that. Jess, don't worry. No one trashed you.

I don't, I mean, I don't know if that's what it was, but people were really mad at me, but it's just, it's just crazy to me. It's like, you know, it's just like, just be polite while we're killing you. Like, Particularly with McCain, cause it's so explicitly like hypocritical with him cause he's so big on supposedly like norms of Senate procedure, et cetera. Love norms has been like so aggressively ramped. Like it's like impossible for all the people voting on it.

So if I even read it properly, I hate this idea of like the good conservative. It's like, I'm a supery. It's like, they say you a few nice things and they vote the same way as all of the other ones. Well, it's like, yeah, it's the, they say, I have some serious concerns about our new policy. I have some serious concerns about our new policy of feeding all of the nation's schoolchildren through a wood chipper, but I'm going to vote for it because

it's the right thing to do. Promise that we would vote for something like this in the campaign. Yeah. Look, the people voted to feed all the nation's children through a wood chipper. It's my responsibility to deliver the wood chipper. How else will we grow sorghum? McCain is like, I always had my reservations about Barabbas, but you know, as a conservative, I love those Jesus jokes.

So yeah, before we move off of the Twitter, trashy chair, the biblical podcast, please open your Bibles at page a hundred and four. I do want to try to figure out what is a safety calendar and what is a ship date for just deleting some Nazi tweets? I don't know what a safety calendar was. I mean, maybe it's like an orange calendar that like has like a little flashing light on it.

I think it's like a calendar, which has had all of the like the sharp corners sanded off so that you don't like hurt your like really, really soft lib hands, turning it over while, while reading the Nazi tweets that you're allowing people to post. I mean, what they currently do is they, they currently suspend your account if you tell a Nazi to eat your farts. Or if you call a dad mad red and nude online, or if you happen to be a black activist, yeah, they hate that.

Yeah, I think so whenever like a black activist tweets, I think like at Twitter HQ, the orange light flashes. I think John, I think John's reading from an Australian news program reported me recently because I spammed his mentions with retirement community, literally. I don't know. Like I feel you've got, I've had like bleatick privilege here, which is basically I can have an argument with someone and like, I can call them

dickhead and they call me a dickhead back and I could go. No, so, so, because, so ever since I had a bleutick, my life on Twitter has been like way worse lifestyles of the please feel pity on me. Donates my Patreon. I need to feed my children. Um, the important thing is to never, is to never squeeze the body of the bleutick. Just rub Vaseline on it and wait for it to fall off in the spirit of sort

of semi rapid fire for a segment. Who's saying what do you got? Right. So I'm going to be very quick with this, um, because it's not really a new story, but it's more just like what happens when, um, you don't have friends who invite you to parties. Not that I'm, you become a host on this podcast, but I am fake friends specifically fake friends.

Um, so I ended up getting into a fight last night, not even a fight. I just, I tweeted something stupid about really you. That's rare. A bleutick that tweets dumb shit. Wow. Where's my, where's my job at unheard? Roll credits. Evangelion is a Christmas movie.

So I, uh, uh, so the young momentum are doing like a Christmas party or something. I went last night. Did you go? Was it last night? Okay. So they used, um, another party of what I wasn't invited to you bastards. Um, so they use like an image from the spectator and a bunch of like

centrist dads got really mad because they were like, uh, do you know, do you know nothing about copyright law? So I quote tweeted one of them and I was just like, you can't copyright manga because all of it is owed by Hidakiyano Hidakiyano being the creator of Evangelion and also the majority shareholder of the spectator evening standard. The British press is divided between like DACA Murdoch and then I know I've got any, I've, I've, I've got any lebedev is actually just like an elaborate

ruse. So the centrist dad was like, uh, no, the independent isn't owned, but the spectator isn't owned by, um, Hidakiyano. And I was like, yes, I think you'll find he has all the rights to all the manga. So it became is a really weird thing where I had to like convince him, but like actually the cartoons in the spectator are indeed manga, um, which they are, as we all know, which they are.

And if Fraser Nelson says anything to the contrary, then he's wrong. Um, and a lot of James Delling pole was dragon bullsie all along. You're more than welcome to come on trash feature any time to talk about this Fraser. You'll say like, oh, that's actually a very smart move. That seems to be his catchphrase for this podcast. I was like, I actually think this is for Kenny move, you know, you know, what's interesting is that actually, uh, uh, trash future podcast is anime.

It's just, you can't see it. You can only hear it for your ears. Um, so then, so then it's sort of like, Damien Green is like, no, no, this isn't Hentai. It's just this week's copy of the spectator. So then he was just like, he was like, um, you know, I need to see where this law is to say that like all manga is like, uh, exempt from copyright because one guy who was nine years old at the time this copyright was made,

um, uh, owns it. And obviously Abby got involved and she was just like, what was your I said, I said it was in some, um, the 1969 something section four, four points. The funniest bit was that like a couple of hours later, he was just like, uh, I looked up this legislation and it's not there. So why are you lying? You dumb ass. You're not even a real journalist or a writer.

Um, I hope your journalism and isn't like, isn't like your tweets. Um, it is. So, and then Riley pointed out just before we recorded that in order to find that law, he would have had to go on Lexis Nexus, um, which is like the legal law, Wikipedia, and in order to use that, you have to pay money. So this guy has paid money to look at a little bit. Doesn't exist to prove, to prove that the creator of neogenesis Evangelion is not the owner of the spectator in the evening standard.

Buying an online legal subscription to own the lips. You can't own the lips. Hidi Akeano owns the lips. Can you listen? Fucking. And I also had a way to respond to next episode. Nice. Excellent.

We are, this is trash future coverage of this dumb, inane Twitter is ongoing. Twitter is a bad website, but it is also actually good. It is actually karma. Good. Milo, do you have anything for us to crane into the cup? Well, I just, I, uh, so earlier in the week, Hussain and I also had an engagement with like a weird online chud, uh, who like he tweeted a Hussain and was like, Oh, try going through like a Muslim, no go zone and not getting

ass raped or something. And then I, I replied to, he'd like replied to one of Hussain's tweets. Then I replied to his tweet, just saying, yeah, whenever I go in the no go zones, I put a condom in my ass and lube up with bacon grease, just in case. And he liked my tweet. Now I was like, no, you've not read that tweet with the correct, like the death of the author guys. I got, I got dapper laughs.

Take, take a name, my lubricated ass. So I, uh, and I want to go through one more, one more thing before we, uh, go into the break and then transition into, uh, actually, uh, hopefully intelligent conversation about universal credit. I'm going to read some selections from this article by Sean O'Grady, who's not mad, uh, and is an independent editor. Um, it says, it's a little, it's a, it's an older code, sir, but it checks out. Uh, it's from the 22nd of November after the budget and Sean O'Grady.

Oh, again, I repeat is not mad, um, says incredibly finds it incredibly funny, but you're, yeah, and actually loves the haters because they're giving him publicity. Um, I, I actually, I checked in with Sean O'Grady and he's actually laughing. So the title of the article is actually like him getting an anger aneurysm. Um, this budget shouldn't have given millennials a thing. Why on earth should I subsidize their houses and rail cards? Yeah.

I, I mean, I have a theory that O'Grady is a kind of secret ex-animationist and he's producing sort of propaganda to advertise young people. Sean O'Grady is a low-key posadist. They had a, yeah, basically to give, to give the new rail card discount to 25 to 30 year olds, they had to, uh, they had to cut one of Damien Green's bras as accounts. It's pretty unfair cause Damien Greens worked hard all his life for that

bras as account and what have millennials ever done? Just like talked about anime online. But then that's how he hits on girls. He's like, I can pay for your vouchers. Now that they're discounted, I can pay for one. Okay. I'm going to read the first couple of sentences from this article and then, um, we can, we can, we can, we can, we can talk about it.

Cause this is like the sort of journalism version of the phrase a lot going on here. Okay. There was after all quite a lot of chatter about intergenerational fairness and the run up to the announcements of the budget and indeed it has been one of the most fashionable topics and political debate for some time editorial. I wonder fucking why. So the wealth intentions of those who spent decades working hard for them have not after all been rated to help.

And here's where the article takes even more of a turn into the absurd. Relatively affluent 20-somethings makes some money on the housing market. He's got me. What? I see. He's unbreakable. He's unraveled my plan to make some money on the housing market. I would have gotten away with it too.

If it weren't for you meddling independent editors, I'm going to read this next line. Um, these millennials with their small tin irons buying up pal mal. I'm, uh, I'm, I'm going to read this next line, which is if anything, the best evidence for bringing back the sentence of trebuchet and someone into the sea. Um, Sean O'Grady, I still don't understand why taxpayers, some of whom are poor, are being asked to help subsidize people buying property. Young people specifically. There's a fraction of a point in that the, um, the stamp duty cut helps a few

hundreds of people. Yeah. Um, but his grievance is like, but I mean, I, I, I don't, I don't think taxes on poor people are being increased. I think that's the whole point that they're not being, I don't, yeah. It's, I mean, okay. So like it's, I'm going to say something serious, but I, I think it's true that basically this is like it's class and

equality is the, the kind of key thing, but there's just far more young people in a precarious class now. It's just like, you know, classes now. It's sort of reminds me of age much more. It's sort of reminded me of like, you know, when we talk about universities and stuff and people's kind of thing about, oh, you know, university like benefits middle class posh kids by, um, taxing by taxing, you know, the poor. Right.

It's the means testing argument, but spoiler alert, means testing will come up in this article. Um, as all good, as all good articles that I save on, um, that I save on my iPhone, uh, do I actually, I, I'll go into that now. This is when you talk about the rail cars rather than the stamp duty cap. Now I, Sean O'Grady, as a quote non millennial and probably future near future nursing home resident, um, and also subsidize the rail travel of 25 to 30 year olds, who may well be richer than I am.

You know, if I think about the new rail card is you, there's already, there's already a pension, a rail card. There was already a youth rail card. There's one, if you travel with your partner. So basically the only people who can't get subsidized rail travel within quite a narrow age range, you're a single podcasters, we pay, we pay podcasters stigmatizing incels, you know, I, I don't know what I don't. And anvol cells like Hussain.

I don't know what, I don't know what Sean O'Grady has about like partially subsidizing my ticket to Hull. Look, I just don't, I think it makes complete administrative sense to set up an entire framework to be able to means test everyone applying for 26. So I think that will in the long run, definitely save money. Sean O'Grady, that we should nationalize the trains and make them significantly cheaper. So the elephant with the room with this guy though is like the

independent pay their young staff, nothing like, like, like, like, I mean, the, like, yeah, the independent has a reputation in media for being about the worst in terms of employment conditions and payment. So for an independent editor to be writing that, like, I imagine his staff on like, kind of endless zero hour, like shifts kind of arrangements would be just, so I, I did a quote tweet about this when he posted it out and it caused one independent editor who I'm not going to name because I don't have enough money to pay for our lawyer just yet, but for future episode,

we have spoken two miles and he is willing to come on the show. So you never know, like we could just like start fighting people and good lawyer on our side. Anyway, we can start libeling. Yes. Love to libel. I can't wait for us to get a dimo libel maker. So I had, I had an, I had an independent editor slide into my DMs and he was like, Hey, you're saying, I think your tweets are really funny, but like, I've got a question for you. Send nudes.

So just I was about to send them a picture. So this independent editor was just like, I don't know what you keep kind of, you know, making fun of like other people who work at the independent, but journalists just like you and you should respect them. And I was kind of just like, because my thing was like, I used to shift at the indie when I got laid off from my full-time journalism job. So lots of people who start off as freelancers or like when you come out of like very expensive journalism score and you come out knowing that you're not

going to get a job. So you end up doing these shifts and the shifts are largely just like you sitting at a desk for eight hours. If you're a normal person who doesn't ever want to like work in news or for 15 hours, if you decide that you actually have the audacity to want to become a reporter, at some point in your life. And they're doing you a favor actually. And they're doing you a favor, yeah. So you're working on like these really shitty contracts which take ages for you

to actually get in the first place where you're just like rehashing copy, lots of which is really inaccurate. And when you end up getting fucked, you know, when you end up getting fucked by it, you're the one in trouble, not your editor. So there's a lot of structural problems that happen at places like the independent. It's not just them, but obviously, as Abby said, like they've got a reputation for having pretty bad conditions for new reporters. So my thing was like, look, you know, the independent at the independent as an online entity is pretty much run by

these young people who are nameless, who don't really have any employment rights, who are discouraged, actively discouraged from joining union. Some of them can't even afford to join the national union of journalists. I don't know if the independent has a union. They, they sacked all the union organizers. Yeah. So I heard, I heard something about this. I mean, but it's not just the independent.

Obviously Buzzfeed were discouraged from joining the union. And when they cited the trend of people being laid off in new meetings, they were told, oh, but that won't happen to you. Now that obviously laying off large numbers of reporters. And yeah, it's, it's, it turns out that it's still capitalist and baby in your boss. It's still your boss. Capitalism. Capitalism is back baby. Let's go again. I wanted to, I wanted to, just while we're talking about this,

I want to offer like solidarity to my former colleagues. I can't really talk too much about this because of an NDA. Capitalism, baby. Oh, but solidarity. That's a no-day-pakes agreement. They didn't deserve this, but I hope that like whatever happens. Actually, Sean O'Grady has a quite, I think almost it's as though he's here in the room with us. We have a Sean O'Grady simulator as his response to that basically is this. It should be pretty clear that intergenerational

fairness is a very silly concept. Is it fair that my parents and grandparents generations had to live through the fight in a couple of world wars? How can we talk about the phenomenon of middle-aged men who in some way vaguely do believe like that they did live through the war? Like just cause they watched a few documentaries. People who live through the wars, they're pretty old now. I mean, here, and here's the next line. It's a real doozy.

Is it fair that say gay people of my age group had to live with massive prejudice, blackmail and violence and start contrast the much more humane attitudes of today? Well, like lucky young gays don't try to own a house. And also it's not people you're allowed to have sex without being beaten up, but you can't afford to live in a house where you can do it and you can. It's like, yes, they can have sex, but Lord help them if their partner is a national rail journey away.

I know we sort of joke about this, but actually this is like I was reading an article a few months ago, which was actually read, which was, which actually kind of touched on this point, which was like the reason why young people want houses is that they actually want to like live lives as adults, right? And at the very core of it, living life as an adult is like being allowed to do things like sex or watch porn. If you're Damien Green. Your mum won't kind of accidentally like come in, come in on you or mother,

Mother Teresa may. And actually just like, you know, at the very core of it, like, you know, this, this is a crisis that isn't necessarily about like property or this like, cause we can have another conversation about property and landowning and kind of the ethics and we probably will. I mean, that's why it's so weird when you've got all these stories, like freaking out, like we've all become communists. Like I wish there was like a, I don't, I'm not Stalin supporter, but I wish, I

wish there was like a kind of wave of like radical left wing sort of feeling sweeping through the nation's youth, but it's not people just want normal lives. And if we, if we had rental laws, like they have in a lot of your other European countries, then renting won't be so bad, but it's cause we have horrible rental laws that massively like, you know, benefit landlords at the expense of us. Like I hate landlords. Who, who's anyone hates landlords? I don't think people realize how much we hate landlords.

Yeah. It's like, it's, um, there's sort of, there's a lot of this and then every, this, just sort of building on that every time, you know, someone proposes that we just tax wealth, they're like, Oh, all the millionaires will leave the country. It's like, okay, good. They'll take the houses. Yeah. I actually, I actually paid my, these are the same, these are like the same fucking

guys who are just like, uh, young people aren't getting married and having kids and like what they want to do is eat avocado toast and like work in social media. Yeah. And it's just like, have you spoken to like the young people around you, you know, um, the ones who are going to be paying for you to go to a nursing home. Yeah. Um, you know, regard, you know, on top of like the big pension.

Oh my God, future should design and, and Lisa nursing home that specifically just fucks with aging boomers. I really sort of interesting aspect of back. Brexit is, um, that wages might increase for, um, nursing home workers because you can't move all the old people abroad and wow. All the, but yeah, basically elderly people have, have voted to like attempt to deport like the people who are, who are like, who are all these rich, these rich young people that we're getting mad

online about cause like, I've never met any of them. Um, I've met, I've met some young people with rich parents. Oh yes. Young people with rich parents. Hmm. Yes. I think he's like, yeah, these young people, some of whom might be richer than me is like, it's just so, so fucking sad.

Like, um, like the, like the idea was, yeah, but like most of them aren't, which is like the point is like, you could find like an exception to like literally any rule, like, oh yeah. There's like, oh, that's it. I found, I found a, I found a rich black person. That means racism is gone. So, you know, it's a MacGarby guys. Um, I mean, it's also like sort of absurd, but the independent office, like if

you want to go grab lunch, like the only real place that you can go to in a quick amount of time is like fucking whole foods. I agree with a Grady like no war, but the class will ultimately, but um, he's the managerial class. Yeah. So that, so I guess here's the thing. Um, trash future in no way advocates violence at all against anyone, but ideas. Yeah.

But wouldn't it, wouldn't it be a funny joke if Sean O'Grady were trebucheted into the sea? That's. I'm sure it's political violence, but I do genuinely wonder sometimes, I mean, sometimes it just feel like these people genuinely are trying to not provoke political violence, but trying to make you hate them only online. But we always want to make you mad online. Yeah.

It's like, do they, we, it's like, we are going to take your stuff if you're not careful. Like, as I will say, it's, um, that's why I always say is charity begins at home, specifically the biggest one you can find. Can we have like a, could have like a weird British reverse version of the hunger games where to allow all the poor people to take out their rage every year, we like have a school fate style event where we like throw wet sponges at people like Sean O'Grady or like dunk them into a big tub of like water, um, just to make

everyone feel slightly better. What, what are the ethical implications of like dressing up as deaf and just like going into the independent newsroom. Uh, hey guys, he was, he was trying, you know, that's, that's to get clicks, but it's also to be safe, sort of, you know, there's, he must have such little respect for the junior staff in his office. He can barely afford the rent and don't know when they're getting shifts to

publish something like, I mean, from my kind of experience working there, like there is that, you know, there is a big distance in terms of like how you understand your young stuff, right? So like when I, when I was doing shifts there, they put all their kind of, they call them workies at the independent. Like they used to refer in emails. They used to say that we've got some workies in the office. Um, and I remember seeing that for the first time and I was just like, what the

fuck? Um, I don't know if they still do that, but they did refer to them at the time and they used to just put them all on one desk, right? So what you would do as a clown car, pretty much. Yeah. So what you would do as a workie, right? So what they said is that, oh yeah, working at the independent is a really great opportunity because it's the only place where you can pitch stories to a national audience and we'll listen to you because we're all connected to like our

internet system. So everyone is deemed as equal online, right? Now, obviously that's not fucking true because if you're not allowed to go into the editorial meetings because you don't have a contract and if you like the only way you can get outside of fucking North Cliff house is by giving them like your little badge, um, as well as like a form of ID because they don't, they really don't want you in there if you like don't have a contract, like the system, the building itself like enshrines inequality.

But when you're working there, most of the time what you'll be doing is doing transcriptions and you'll have like some fucking senior reporter, which was like, yeah, I did an interview with someone transcribe this two hour interview for me by like three o'clock because I need to like file something. And then you see in the paper the next day that they've done like 400 words where your name is like not referenced. Like it's normal industry. It's a very, very normal industry and the independent is the shining light of

that, which is normal. It is normal. That's the thing about it. It's like your buses, tweety like shit everywhere. Alex was motioning like he had. Oh, which is, I was just, you look like you have something to say. Hey guys, it was very funny that I'm surprised that you glazed over what to me was my personal favorite sentence in the article when he was going through the

I went to bed at seven AM this morning, you're a much cooler guy than I am. We've been through this. The rare card has not been set. This cohort has since since left the university and the rare cards have used to get them to their stag do's and honeymoons. I mean, just that's a tape of young line. All like just like jobs, but like the train to their honeymoon, like where the fuck like, oh, these rich millennials going to their honeymoon by train.

Like where the fuck are they going? I don't fucking read this. And the sentence after that, he just goes, obviously, I wish them every happiness. I mean, tonally, that the rest of the article doesn't bear. It doesn't really bear you. Who are these millennials? All these millennials having their stag do's and stoke. Like, no, it's, but that is a Tate Toby young.

He's clearly not been invited to a few, a few stag do's in his time. Man, this is, this is like Genaro Grady has friends, guys. A lot of and he's been invited to a lot of stag do's. He's laughing at people saying he's not got friends. Not all of them. Yeah. And more actually, all those people going to stag do's are wasting their time because Sean O'Grady is mastering the katana.

Those fucking chads going to their stag do's. I'm Sean O'Grady and I'm a Rick and Morty fan. Actually, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Sean O'Grady. Yeah, you actually have to have a very high IQ to be this much richer than the millennials. I have a spectator. But you have to have a high IQ to understand the human. We all organise like a trash future stag do's.

I don't have the spectator. And just tweet pictures at Sean O'Grady of us using rail cards on the train to get there, to like really, really make him not mad online. So when I got my first job at Mirror, the only way, the only way I could afford the train down to London from Sheffield is because the job centre will pay you. Three lots of transport to a job interview. And the manager had to come down and because normally you'd expect to pay for like a bus to Barnsley, they had to come down and especially authorise

a train to London. Wow, normal country. Yeah, we didn't want to. We didn't want anyone who might not deserve it getting a train to London. I don't. Yeah. I don't know. That was just an anecdote about how fucked up the country is. I mean, that's kind of just the whole point of this. Lazy bricks.

I think given that we've gone the entire length of an episode for our first half, maybe it's time to go into the break and see you all shortly. Doodly-loo-loo. So sorry to get it. Ben and a Ben and a Ben and a Ben. Begin. Enjoy this anti-fire rock style white font men's black sweatshirt made in Mexico of 100% cotton for all day comfort and features an anti-fire rock style

white font graphic on the front, a ribbed cream neck and a straight hem complete the long sleeve sweatshirt, which is available in colour black. This we are anti-fire. Why ACDC style font sweatshirt will express yourself inside the opposition to the ideology, organisations, governments and people from the far right brackets, fascism. When you know, just just remember to keep creating a better world by warm up. That is the sleekest SEO there's ever been.

You just couldn't know that that was generated to game. Google that. Oh, God, hook it to my fucking veins. Copywriting, baby. I mean, the thing is, if anything, like the American far right would have really liked ACDC because Angus Young was always dressed up as like a 14 year old schoolboy. Yeah. So Walmart is welcome to the resistance. Famously, famously woke and socialist corporation Walmart.

Walmart, which is all about unions and mutual aid. Also, I love that it's made in Mexico. Yeah. They might they might have actually just thought that was woke, right? Is that because if you look, I did a little Twitter search when we were trying to find this and there are genuinely like people who are really mad that this exists, right? So they're like adding Walmart. Like, oh, if you're not, if you're going to like promote

Antifa, brackets, American ISIS, then I'm going to shop elsewhere. And I'm not sure like what that would be in the US, but they genuinely have like made people mad. And I think part of that might be because they've outsourced the production to Mexico. Yeah, that that really is like what Trump voting like like Trump voting quote real American suburban fascist hate is they they hate Antifa. They hate Mexico, but they love Walmart. I mean, I suspect what's going to happen is that they're all going to spark out

and fall over. I mean, would they have felt better if like they had a bunch of Americans in Wisconsin making these jumpers? Well, it would have to be pro for I just I love the idea that like, like if you buy an Antifa jumper from Walmart, that's like letting ISIS win. Like that is the one thing where like Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will be like, hi, you're fucked now.

Now that Walmart selling the Antifa jumpers, that's when that's that's when the caliphate really gets started. I mean, I'm sort of just waiting for like Jake Paul to launch like his Antifa merchandise. It's antifascism every day. Jake Paul is the worst kind of person every day. Antifascist motivation.

What we also here's the other thing that we have is one of the main reasons that Abby is here with us today is not just to talk about how stupid the toxic hell world of online and real life is, but we're also going to talk about what I think is probably the greatest. I don't want to say the greatest failure in social policy because there's like a four day lag time between this recording and this coming out. Like, like, again, Donald Trump could very easily start like, you know, turning the bottom like 10 percent income,

Decile of Americans into green energy. You can post a picture of him. His his nude bottom. Yeah, he's got Donald Trump could post a bottomless picture. Kids happen. Is there like a new, is there like a is there like a thing beyond the explicit writing on iTunes that this will now go to because of just that image that you. Yeah, the the iTunes police.

You're going to need you're going to need to be over sixty five to listen. Can we stop saying that the lips would hate it if you if you posted bottomless photos? I think what would be really funny is like having like Raheem Kasam, like, defend posting bottomless like bottomless on BBC News. Like, I can't wait for Raheem I can't wait for Raheem Kasam to like post like to wear like a full black tie tuxedo up top bottomless down below to on the list is Raheem Hassan.

UKip Hussain. Is that him? What is your UKip doppelganger? Is that the guy or is this a different guy? Yes, it's a cousin and there are people who online who believe that we were circumcised by at the same time. I was considering setting up. There was a there was a four skin related mix up at the hospital and ever since your lives have been an extricably linked.

Hussain and Raheem Kasam peed in a fountain together and then woke up freaky Friday. Yeah, as a as a poppy that was intended to be sewn on to Hussain's penis was accidentally set up so long to the other guy's penis, forcing him to honour the troop. Hey, hey, Poochie, you look like you have something to say. I was going to try and start a campaign to support Damien Green by posting selfies if you're looking serious. OK, this is the trash future drive to like save Damien Green's ministerial.

This is our Christmas charity appeal. Just stand there like, you know, me too. God, no, it won't be me too. It'll be me 69 for sure. This is the greatest idea. I'm not done out of laziness yet. The trash future Christmas appeal, folks.

The trash future Christmas appeal saved Damien Green's job by posting a picture of you fake wanking in a suit. The barter of the setting, the better while holding your twenty six to thirty rail card for less than the price of a cup of coffee a day, you too can help Damien Green bust a nut during office hours in the Palace of Westminster to own the lips. This episode doesn't get us in the Guardian like top one hundred podcasts. Yeah, trippy porn where I come on to his twenty six to thirty rail cars.

Disability rights issue. Wait, are we are we being ableist against Damien Green because we don't know he's not met him with potentially. Have we been libelist against Damien Green? Unclear, I know I'm not. I didn't do it. Might have to get miles on like faster. We're going to have to get miles on really fast.

So my my main take on the Damien Green thing, I think, is that basically, why is it a scandal that Damien Green had a wank at work? Because that was probably like the best thing he'd done at work for that whole time. Like I was more worrying what he does when he's not wanking. Like that's full Tory ministers spent more time wanking. I feel like a lot less damage would be done. Like Boris Johnson had just had a wank instead of like telling the Iranian government that that woman was training journalists.

Things would be much better. Right. That's actually like I want Trump to spend more time golfing. Yeah, yeah, I'll spend less time governing. But here's the thing is we've had a lot of fun today, folks. But what we also have is we have like a topic. Yeah, want to get into a smart topic, a smart person, a smart topic that is good, a smart comment, actually, a laser guided topic, a laser guided topic that's definitely not going to blow up a Yemeni wedding.

Coming into your ears like a Yemeni one. Right. So what we are going to do is talk about universal credit, the again, best slash worst social program for, I think, like exterminating entire classes of people. I mean, I think I think the main the main, most severe problem of universal credit is they've decided to because people who lose their jobs and need to claim benefits are famously have a lot of savings and don't necessarily need money, particularly.

They decided to have this like six week long lead-in, so obviously people get paid every week or every month. Fasting is healthy. Yeah. So it's just like I was actually at an event in parliament before we go too far in. Can we just say what universal credit is? So universal credit is what the conservative government is trying to replace a kind of plethora of different benefits with. And on the very, very surface level,

the idea of simplifying the benefit system isn't entirely bad. But, you know, they're simplifying it by taking money off people and making them wait longer for it. And it's been a complete disaster. And they're kind of doubling down on it being a disaster, because that's what the conservatives seem to do at the moment. So yeah, people are just like, you know, people are just like, not being able to pay the bills, losing their house, sort of like having to go to food banks, regular. Yeah, it's just

I feel like universal credit answers the question, which was on everyone's lips, which was what if job seekers allowance, but Kafka? Well, guys, at least we're reassured that they don't have access to railcars to go to stag dues. Yeah, no, that would be that would be too much. I mean, if anything, we're actually rescuing them from having to like sip through dick straws and stuff like that is at least probably making their lives better. So basically, like the sort of like a fundamental conservative belief

is that people who are unemployed or poor or faking it and lying and basically just lazy and they won't they won't necessarily make that a core part of the messaging. But there's this, you know, clearly the idea of this long leading is if we make it as unpleasant as possible to be unemployed, people will be less likely to lose their jobs, which everyone's doing for fun. Yeah, because being being poor is famously like actually good and really nice. But if we don't make it unpleasant, like everyone's just going to be poor. It's going to be the coolest, most hip thing that is what they believe.

I mean, there's a whole heap of problems with it. And I mean, as you know, the conservatives have been screwing up the benefit system in lots of ways, but the particular problem with this is this long leading time. So obviously people, for example, if you lose your job now, a month before Christmas, you won't get any money until like quite a while after Christmas because of how the system works. And people will lose their jobs now and they will be not only will they not be able to, you know, pay the rent and stuff, it's obviously the additional cost of

Christmas. Ironically, this could really come back to her. Damien Green, who may have whacked himself out of a job by then. I was going to say, does this make Ian Duncan Smith, the literal Grinch, who stole Christmas? OK, so the fun, not funny, funny is the one word that the most the most absurd part of it, not the most absurd part of one, one of the many absurd parts is that they're not rolling out in certain key Tories, constituencies, including Ian Duncan Smith and Theresa May.

It's like they clearly know it's a bad enough idea that they're scared to inflict on people they want to vote for them in the future. So some some constituencies are exempt, but they're doing it everywhere else. But it's not it's not, you know, it's not actually an accident. It's not like, oh, we just accidentally forgot to give people money for six weeks. It's like someone sat down and thought we can save money or we can like incentivise people to not be poor if we if we don't give it them for six weeks. It's immensely cruel.

And, you know, this comes after the massive ramping up of sanctions and obviously the government denied that job centre workers were giving incentives to basic job centre. It turns out they were the job centre workers were incentivised and given bonuses for sanctioning more people. I don't know if you ever dealt with the job centre. I have it's been a few years now. But it feels like they're trying to trick you.

Yeah, like how can we how can we make this so confusing and awful that they'll make a minor mistake and then we can take money off them? It's like a cool game show. Yeah, I feel like, to be honest, by March, probably we would have had, like, 10 new heads of the DWP and Theresa May will have been forced to appoint someone who is literally 12, whose solution to this problem will be to be to accidentally invent the workhouse again. Like, guys, great idea.

We just get all the poor people and we take them to a big building where a man in a tricorne hat feeds them until they get a job. Is the base. I always think that when I see universe, I because I was very briefly a melt, I published an article in the New States been a while ago. Oh, yeah. Yeah, melt, melt, melt, melt, melt.

Yeah, yeah. And it was sort of like the history of this idea in the British. Was it the art school where you defended wanking at work? No, I published that in Guido Fox. It's really the Mount issue that everyone's dying. Yeah, I like I love to die on hills about wanking. No, it's that we're this. It's this idea that's been sort of alive in, you say, big British poor relief

ever since the dissolution of the monasteries, which is this big concept of the principle of less eligibility that was only signed into law in the new poor law in like 1834, I think. Yeah, where what you get is any poor relief that happens since 1834. And this has been the case with the exception of sort of, you know, Marshall Plant style reconstruction post war. Every single benefit program must be careful to ensure that the condition

of the unemployed worker on benefits is worse than the condition of the lowliest worker off benefits. I mean, yeah, I mean, there's a the logic if we want, you know, we want to say that it's not entirely insane, but you have to like benefits have to provide you a decent standard of living. So if you want people in work to be better off, you have to pay them more. Like, it's just, you know, you can't imagine my shock. It's like, you can't there's only so much you can take off people.

And the funny thing about it, again, funny is the wrong word is is a kind of perverse effects in terms of government spending. So you've got them taking a woman's cutting a this isn't universal credit specifically, this is the benefit cap house or benefit cap. So you've got them taking a little bit of money off a mum of quite a few children. So she couldn't quite afford to rent. So she can't afford to look after her kids. She loses a house and then all the kids get taken to foster care

and that costs like the government like a grand a week. So they've broken up a family, spent far more money because they're paying someone to do the parenting with this previously competent mother was doing. Or you've got them taking you've got them taking a car off a disabled person that cost an eight grand a year. And because that disabled person can't get to work, they're paying 60 grand a year in taxes instead.

It's like this sort of like for me, like even from like a pure cost saving perspective, it's like they're punishing people at great costs. But that's just the thing. It's like this is this is to sort of paraphrase real politic. This is the nature of the hard right. I'm afraid this is the nature of the hard right. Because ultimately these people are driven by sort of grievances and a desire to punish. Yeah.

And they are willing just just like the sort of, you know, fucking dipshit chuds who do whatever Gavin McHenness says and like, like, you know, wax their mustaches and whatever, like lie down in dumpsters to own the lives. It's just the same. The government is willing to actually spend more tax money ensuring that the poor are like, like this base, like ritually humiliated and fucked with at every turn because of this just class based grievance

and a desire to piss off metropolitan liberals. It's like, you've got a just coming out spending Sean O'Grady's hard earned tax money on punishing the poor. How does Sean O'Grady feel about this? He's worked hard for that tax money that, you know, the Charle O'Grady, those 400 words. He doesn't want those 400 words being used to punish the poor. The poor have got it easy enough as it is.

So one of the other main sort of characteristics of Universal Credit is that the actual sort of infrastructure in terms of like its IT systems has been extraordinarily failure prone. Yeah. And to me, that smacks the idea that, you know, poor services are poor services. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's this kind of thing with the conservative government, the government, how much of it is just pure incompetence and how much is malice? I think there's plenty of both.

Well, is there too busy wanking? Well, maybe, yeah, if they'd just been a little bit more busy wanking, maybe they wouldn't have attempted it at all. What happens when you sell stoke over the government? Poor person has to fill out baffling number of forms in order to get money required to live like some super long porn title. I mean, it's hard. It's hard to navigate the benefit system as like a computer literate

young person with a degree. And you've got to understand some of, you know, a lot of people may be reading is like harder for them. And they're not so old and they're not so computer literate. They have a whole load of competing demands on their time. They might be carers. They might be all these kind of things. It's just like, you know, and it really like universal credit

ostensibly is meant to make the process simpler for the government. This sort of is a bit of a joke. Well, it's actually that competing demands under time is something I want to go into a little more. Yeah, because a lot of sort of the the requirements of if you're on universal credit, even if you are in employment. So if you're in employment and you're making earned income tax credit, or what used to be an earned income tax, but now it's a salary top up,

you have to prove that you are spending a certain amount of time on the universal job site, finding jobs. I don't know if it's changed, but when I was signing on in 2013, you don't have to sign up for the website, but they make it the job centre staff make it seem like you do. So you have to be informed to know not to. But once you sign up, then they've got you and they can sanction you based on you not doing certain things on the website.

And the kind of thing about people in work signing on, like I met a young woman about 25, I think she had a son. She was working at McDonald's. I wanted to McDonald's, it went on strike, actually. I mean, her issue was because McDonald's kept on because they keep on like low hours, zero hour contracts. They kept on. They kind of changed the hours she got, which potentially to personally target her, but, you know, for whatever reason.

And you can't if it's very difficult to claim benefits if you're like hours of varied because like I know someone as well who had the benefits stopped because the government suspected they weren't giving them enough. So like we're not been giving you enough money, so we're just going to cancel it because like to try and sort it out. And it's just like this complete sounds logical and fine. The DWP doing a huge line of brain force

plus before making some decisions. It's just like you get the impression that people designers do not understand that people literally cannot pay. Well, they do what they is worse if they do understand. It's like, you know, people will have to go to pay their loan companies just to cover the very most basic costs. And then they're like trapped forever. They will lose their homes.

Like, you know, it's not if you're like middle class, that you have access to whole loads of cheap credit that other people don't have. You probably can go and overdraft it. But, you know, you have you can get like you can get affordable loans as you probably have people you can borrow of the people being targeted by this. Like if they have a few hundred quid taken off them, they're fucked. And you get the impression that the people just fundamentally do not understand that or they do understand.

And this is some sort of sick game. It's almost it's almost as though having a bunch of Oxford-educated PPE plutocrats running government was a bad idea. Actually, the conservatives are trying to trying to help poor people because they realize that poor people are just really into Findom. You go down your high street and you see these like will give you a loan if no one else will like interest rate like whatever the fuck. Like three thousand two hundred twenty nine percent per year average.

Traditory and like why do they think people get these loans? Because they they literally haven't you know, people are losing their homes. People are it's considered, you know, you're not meant to mention that forcing people into difficult situations makes them potentially commit suicide. Someone my mum knows you're not meant to say you were not meant to make a link. That's what Samaritan says. But someone my mum knows killed herself. Her son, who was severely autistic, had all of his benefits and support taken away at once.

And she's actually said to she's said to people beforehand, what do I have to do to make you pay attention? You know, do I have to kill myself? And she did end up killing herself. And it's just it's like, you know, obviously there are underlying mental health issues. Obviously, like it's not a single causal thing. But if you push people into desperate situations, you can do what kind of, you know, and even if people aren't killing themselves, it's like you're making people suffer immensely

and it is so entirely unnecessary. Otherwise, they'd want to be poor because being poor is cool. It's like, yeah, you know, that I mean, this is I mean, so what? And that's the other thing as well. This idea of people, the idea that people who who can, you know, a lot of people who are in benefits a long time, people do have depression and other issues that make it, you know, I don't know if you I don't know how long you guys have ever been unemployed at the longest point,

but just kill your confidence to continually get rejected for jobs. It's like, you know, if people sort of give up on life, the idea that's some kind of personal failing, like coming from these people, he's dad's gotten the first job. I think this is why you have to become a professional online podcaster. That is the real future. We are Milo Edwards's job program. I mean, funny story, like I started a podcast partly because like I was unemployed

when I left my job, my last job in 2016. I was fortunate, like enough. I didn't have to. I had like savings and severance that meant I didn't have to go on like benefits of universal credit, but yeah, you're like, you're completely right. And just that whole kind of disposition is one where, especially when you live in London and you live at a time when like your job really defines who you are when you don't have one like the psychological.

And also when you have a government that's like, you know, for years, they've kind of, you know, productive people who deserve things. So when we talk about benefits, like drivers and scroungers, you know, my dad, my my parents store before they sold it was in a place where there was a lot of unemployment and the majority of our customers came to our post office to collect unemployment checks. And, you know, they had to sign on and like working there over, you know, five, six years and seeing these kind of monumental changes, especially when

like the conservative Lib Dem coalition took over normal government, normal government, very fine. You know, it was really to the current government, relatively normal government. It was really, it was really I was so mad about 2017. But the thing that I sort of noticed was that even the people who were taking benefits, who had to collect them, like their language really changed as well. Because suddenly, like, you know, there was this thing about, OK, well, who is really the deserving poor and who isn't.

So those things can kind of, you know, very underlying, you know, bigger issues. So, you know, increase, you know, increases of racism can kind of come as a stem of it. Yeah. One of the big issues that like in my area at the moment is, you know, lots of kind of white, you know, benefit claimants who believe that, like, black benefit claimants don't deserve to be in, like, council flats. Like, it belongs to them. And this is like a government, you know, the government that currently exists.

Like, they were the ones who kind of accelerated that language. But it's like that. I mean, it is factually true that if you're a, say, a single young man, like a single young white man, that a refugee family will get bumped up the housing waiting list higher than you because a family with small children is higher priority is like this. The issue is there's not enough housing. It shouldn't be an either or sort of situation. But, you know, when you create this unnecessary scarcity of resources,

and of course the people I'm not I'm not trying to defend racist attitudes, but I'm saying that, like, when people are competing for resources and you've got newspapers feeding a certain narrative, it's absolutely going to end up like this. I mean, it like it accelerated, you know, it accelerates it a lot, and especially when you've got a conversation that is so kind of fixated on individuals, because that's the issue is that when the question is about who's the deserving poor, what that does, it pits the working class against one another.

The real question should be who are the deserving rich? No one. Yeah, some some woke shit here. I think this is all just like the run up for like the there's some like Conservative minister who wants to make a pilot for like Sky One hosted by Danny Dyer, where it's like poor people fight to the death. I just got to get them. They've got to like psychologically get them ready for that, like really get them to a stage where like, OK, there's only one packet of hot dogs left.

And we get close to that refugee family, otherwise they're going to eat them. So we had that show where they were like had to compete with sub stories to see who got a home. It's like, oh, shit. Yeah. We like I've never heard of this. Me, she was like, we do really fucked up poverty for stuff. Like, like, it was just he probably, you know, I think the people making it probably thought it genuinely was a nice thing. But this guy, there's this like rich business guy and he owned a flat

and he in basically the premise of the show was various couples and families would try and explain why their homelessness was the most important and they most deserved to get the flat. And then he decided who to give the flat to at the end. That was on really recently. I wish you could see my expression. Normal country, regular Britain. No, but Britain's media does regularly scrape the bottom of the barrel.

The only good thing about Britain's media is that Kezia Dugdale gets regularly embarrassed on live TV. Yeah, I mean, also, yeah, I'm a con on. I'm allegedly a celebrity. Allegedly a celebrity in the jungle. I saw a clip where he got scared by a camel, and I thought that was quite funny. What was it about the camel that scared him? I didn't know.

OK, big slum Islam or right. When are we getting the ghost of Christopher Hitchens on this podcast? Oh, man, I love it. I love it when people are surprised when boxers are dumb. It's so it's like it's like that man gets hit in the head for a living. Is it like studies that have shown how fucking dumb that makes you I think my problem is that I watch. I think like chess boxing is the main one.

And I think I've got confused. Chess boxing. Do you know chess boxing? No, it is roughly what if you've got an idea of where it is, it's probably the correct idea from the. I only play a nice dimensional chess box. So it's it's you do a round of I think it's you do a round of boxing for like a minute and then you do like a minute of chess. So it's like, who is the yeah, who's got the best exactly was more

that like it and they're going to get their benefits. I guess the thing is like Floyd like Gary Gary Kasparov. He was a very glitter. I think if it's like Gary Kasparov versus like Floyd Mayweather, like Floyd Mayweather wins because there's just no way that Kasparov doesn't die in the first minute of the boxing and he's not so good at chess is to be able to take out Mayweather with like four hours of instruction. Anyway, that's enough chess box.

The only sport that I recognize is Beyblades. No, the only sport. OK, I found my magic, the gathering deck. I was I have got gradually need you as I've got older. This thing I got like I I I OK, I'm going to admit this on trash for the first time and we're going to get back to universal credit in a moment. But when I was like 17, I had an investment portfolio in war ties, casually.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow, normal. What happened? Did you run a fedora? I was considering buying one. I think if I'd bought a fedora, this would be a Daily Stormer podcast. Like I would have tipped over into the all right. That's that's the tipping point.

When the fedora tips. Yeah, I thought I by the guys, the new Malcolm Gladwell book is really weird. Or you'd be selling brain force plus to the Vole cells as we speak. So we this is so unlike us to get massively off topic. This is crazy. So just, I think, to sort of really hammer home a point about the universal credit thing, it seems that this is a program that

largely restrict like sort of has no redeeming features. Catastrophically restricts benefits to people who need them. Yeah, I mean, it take people and up with less money. The idea like it like they simplify your benefits and then they take money off certain people because of it and they delay it. So you can't get it when you need it and people get into debt and they lose their homes and they know this was happening. They were told this was happening when they did the trial.

They knew it when they were designing it, I think. But how could you not know that that would be the result of it to the conservative party and to like the middle class sort of, you know, polite fascists of Maidenhead? Like that's not a bug. It's a feature. Well, it's all pension. I mean, I don't want to get into the kind of generational warfare because it's not. Please, let's do that. Pensions aren't the enemy.

But I mean, at the point when at the point when pensions are even voting against us getting a holiday when Prince Harry gets married, but you just kind of think they're doing out of spite. Like they're just sort of like pensions consistently. They'd like to fuck us. They'd like you to purchase porcelain for the sake of. Memorize it. Yeah, but they would rather you purchase porcelain during your 20 minute

allocated lunch break. Did you see the poll where everyone was in favor of a bank holiday on the wedding apart from pensioners? Well, so my favorite bit about because didn't didn't the government wasn't the government's didn't didn't like the government spokesperson say something like the reason that we're not going to do a bank holiday for them is because there's already enough joy in her in a wedding. That was just Theresa May, right?

OK, I was I've been too nice to her then by coming with someone else. But the thing I love about that is that the implicit slam is that Will and Kate's wedding was a dreary dog shit fast. Needed the opium of a bank holiday. Did you see the spectator article, which we're not smart enough to understand the humor, I imagine, but the spectator article saying that he shouldn't marry her because she's a divorcee, which of course we have no precedent in sort of like people who are second, maybe second in line to the

right hand. This is a joke. The take that like the Queen being the head of the Church of England means that Prince Harry can't marry divorcee was quite jokes. Prince Charles exists. This this this argument we all regret it. This is this is an argument that's used quite frequently in like whenever you go to like Asian family dinners.

They often they often invoke like the royal family when they try to get you arranged to be married, right? They're like, you know, it's not a backwards thing because the Prince Harry and Prince William have had arranged marriages because they can only marry certain types of people. And I've been told spectator readers and I've been told this several times. And the things that I've said is that number one, I'm a gamer and therefore I've dedicated my life to celibacy.

I can only marry certain kinds of anime body pillows. But the second one is that if you really cared about me, you would put a picture of me and my wife who on porcelain and hang it up. The problem is, of course, those body pillows are savage in family court. Take it will take away my ex. So are you guys familiar with the concept of exterminism? No, tell me. I can guess.

Well, they're not trying to kill them, but they wouldn't mind if some of them died. If they know the port, don't worry, guys. The poor aren't dead. They've just gone to live on a farm far away. Essentially, essentially what's happened is the conservative government has like gone to meet some mobsters to like double tap the poor back of the head execution style and like make it look like an accident. I mean, this this this we're going to cut Medicare for poor cancer suffers

to fund tax cuts on private jets, literally private planes. I mean, that's the most explicit sort of example of class warfare from the elites that I've seen in a while. It's just there's this book I quite enjoy a game by Neil Strauss. There are several books. They're a set book. I like I like high literature, for example, the game by Neil Strauss. The rules of the game also by Neil Strauss.

I hope they serve beer in hell by Tucker Max, the cannon, the cannon guys. All the books for Jeremy Corbyn is red. That GQ decline, you know, that the GQ editor forgot to mention. I wish that I would. I love that they if they do a profile in Corbyn in all of the different men's magazines like FHM, Loaded, Nuts. I write for Esquire, so I could find someone who's about to edit a men's magazine like Jeremy Corbyn.

If you listen to Trash Future, come on, let's do an interview and let's talk about the game by Neil Strauss. I want to I want to get out of him that his most influential books were the Alex Ryder series by Anthony Horowitz. That's the only acceptable answer. But so this this concept in this book, I quite like that isn't about why women actually like need to be tricked. Which why women I enjoy, you know, I'm as, of course, as, of course,

I a white male socialist. Obviously, I hate all women in POC, of course, because of online told me so. No, this this book called For Futures, Life After Capitalism. I tried it. Yeah. So exterminism is one of Peter Frazier's like big points. Yeah, it seems to me that we're tending towards an exterminist future. I think these are exterminist policies.

I mean, isn't that like it's sort of a natural fit? Well, like I say, I say that in like a really horrified way. But when you kind of commodify individuals and when you use a language that effectively commodifies and then like, you know, that's the next step that you can dispose of downsize. It's just like the corporate raiders, but applied to a country. Yeah. And like, you know, when in like probably two months time, when population management becomes part of the discourse

and anyone who kind of questions it will be deemed as a socialist snowflake tracer in the pages of the Sunday Times or the spectator, which all of us are too dumb to understand, kind of forcibly sterilizing people. They they they've done. They sterilize people who I don't understand it. I think people have ended up in prison and they were like they somehow says technically they made a free choice. And obviously there's the whole thing about

Ethiopian Jewish people being sterilized in Israel. You know, I don't know that far from the last sterilization, last eugenics based sterilization laws in the states were repealed in the late sixties. Yeah. Like this is not a distant concept that there are simp that there are populations that need to be occupied and controlled. And the sort of colossal failure of universal credit is just yet another chapter in this sorted history.

You can imagine the Daily Mail. I just hope you're about why people ban it. You know, you get them on, you know, people on Twitter. It's like, well, if you can't afford kids, then you shouldn't have kids. And that, you know, the idea that people have to, for example, get a contraceptive implant for as long as they claim benefits. I can imagine that being like people would support that. I think we would genuinely have majority support for that in this country,

which is fucking terrifying because it is a human right to start a family. It's not meant to be a sort of elite privilege to have. Because like that's something that's self-evident. But even like thinking about that unconsciously, like there is that impulse of like, oh, really, like you're I'm genuinely like surprised by the statement that there is a human, you know, you have a human right to start a family because of language has been, you know, but that is in all of our, you know, that is in the British Bill of Human Rights.

It's in sort of it's, you know, that is meant to be a thing for millennials who famously don't like to get married, but do like to have stag dues and require rail cars to do so. Exactly. I can't wait for my. Can we just have a stag do to celebrate the start of a new podcast? That's what it is now. Well, let me check time, guys. We are like steady on course to record a two hour podcast.

Oh, I never thought I'd be that guy. A feature film length podcast. And that's like not indicative. It's the it's the like eighty five minute films you have to watch out for. Two hour film could be a good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we've already gone north of Pacific Rim. Shit, we're becoming like we're becoming the Joe Rogan show. Have you ever done DMT?

Dude, you blew my mind. Anyway, I'm a rational atheist, actually. And, you know, women just aren't good at programming. Did you see him? Did you say James DeMore actually won an award? Sorry, Anthony, by the not the Anthony Horowitz, the David Horowitz Freedom Center, Alex Ryder. God, you know, why don't they say something properly?

Edge Lord, like Stalin was good in the fucking game. Abby, you're really not helping because you're not a Stalinist. Or even better, Stalin was going to go on Guido forks. I literally can't wait. No, but that's the thing. You know, their opinions, they're they're not. I mean, they're just they're not that edgy.

You know, they're just sexist and racist. Like a lot of people are sexist and racist. Yeah, I feel that like once it gets on Guido forks, we can actually start the proper conversation of is the Guido forks logo Manga? Well, maybe Guido forks. Paul Steins, come on to our future and talk about your funding of the Contras.

Paul Steins, famous fan of love, Hina. My favorite part is when that when the Contras finally defeated the Sandinistas, how the Contras punch them and the Sandinistas flew away into the sky and disappeared in a twinkle. Guys, do you think it's time to before we roll credits on this feature film? We have a thing to promote. This we we trash future, the podcast about how the future is trash

have been booked by a certain comedy show that is run by Alex Keely. That's me in case some of you joined in the middle of a two hour podcast. Everyone works right to change podcast channel. I don't to everyone who fast forward. I'm still fine. I just want to hear what the comedy promotion at the end is. I mean, I'll be listening to the show and they'll be like, wow,

Abby Wilkinson from the Guardian, she's going to talk about universal credit. That's really great. I mean, they'll fast forward like halfway through and it'll be like us talking about like eating ass or something. I spend the last of your benefits on attending the trash future live show. Tuesday, 9th of January is the date that we were hunting for in my calendar, and that is the Star of Kings,

which is five minutes walk north of Kings Cross. We'll be recording a live trash future. And then there's also comedy from you are here. Shars, if you like that, your Ivo grams, if you like that and lots of others who I have not brought up the document on my phone. Yeah. And the the panel, the panel is going to be very good. We're going to we're going to hoodwink some of the the other performers. We're going to bring in some some guests.

Maybe maybe some guests, you've heard in the last day, maybe it's about time to put down the microphones and go get drunk. Thank you, everybody for listening, and we will see you again soon.