TRASHFUTURE - *UNLOCKED* Britainology 12: Only Fools and Horses

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

In this episode, Milo takes Nate on the most inscrutable journey yet: a vision of British 1980s/90s sitcoms that are too cockney to be parsed without a translator. Yes, it's the 'Heroes and Villains' episode of Only Fools and Horses, perhaps the most British thing Nate has had to encounter yet, and the one that did the most to break his spirit. Hope you enjoy! If you want to hear more Britainology, sign up on the Patreon at the $5 tier for one a month and $10 for two a month here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We will be doing a live show in London on Wednesday, March 2. Get your tickets here! https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/comedy/trashfuture-live-pre-election-christmas-spectacular *MILO ALERT* Milo has a bunch of live shows this month in both London and Prague. Check them out here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-show *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)  

Hello, and welcome to yet another edition of Britannology. I am my webber, and I'm joined as always by my co-host, Nate Pathay. Hello, lovely day, cold, but spring is going to arrive at some point. Yeah. I don't know, maybe. I mean, weirdly, this has been less of the Earth is dying kind of winter in the UK as normal. It hasn't been like, you know, 22 Celsius, 75 Fahrenheit in February.

It's been cold. Yeah. It's been cold and everything. I know. Serious business. The truest Britannology is discussing the weather, of course. Exactly. To avoid the serious topic.

There's nothing more British than discussing the weather and how it is bad. Yeah. I'll make sure to not make eye contact and shuffle my hands and feet, my hands and my pockets, you know, just avoid any stressful topics of conversation. Yeah. Well, we are breaking a key rule here by both talking and making eye contact. Exactly. Can't do that and be actually British, can you?

The level of sizzling eye contact that's currently being made in the studio is at positively Italian levels and can't be allowed to continue. So on this episode of Britannology, we have decided by, I was going to say by popular demand. I don't know how much it's been. It's been demanded. It's demanded by some, by some demand to talk about the iconic British cockney sitcom from the 80s and 90s, Only Falls and Horses.

This is something that was something of like a staple of my childhood. I've got a segment from the Wikipedia here to lead us in. Only Falls and Horses is a British television sitcom written and created and written by John Sullivan. Seven series were originally broadcast on BBC One, The United Kingdom from 1981 to 1991 with 16th sporadic Christmas special aired until the end of the show in 2003. Set in Peckham in southeast London, it stars David Jason as ambitious market trader Derek Delboy Trotter and Nicholas Lindhurst as his younger brother Rodney Trotter.

Alongside a supporting cast who in the case of the episode we watched are Uncle Albert, their mad uncle who used to be in the Navy in World War Two and their respective wives, Cassandra and Raquel. The show was not an immediate hit with viewers and received little promotion early on, but later achieved consistently high ratings. In the 1996 episode Time on Our Hands, originally built as the last episode, holds the record for the highest UK audience for a sitcom episode, attracting 24.3 million viewers. Which in 1996 would have been like easily half the UK population.

Yeah, this show was not fucking about. I don't think that many people watched percentage wise, watched American TV on 9-11. So I mean, I guess Only Falls and Horses does have a significant... In many ways, it was the British 9-11. Exactly. A lot of it does take place in a tower block. So in that respect, I don't think they ever did it. It would have been...

And Only Falls and Horses 9-11 episode would have been something I would have given a lot of time to. Delboy reacts to 9-11. Just imagining. I'd love to do the voices, but I can't do the voices that they're... Come on, name Rodney. We just bought them a visa to study at an aviation college in Florida. Nobody said there was going to be any drama about it.

Australian Delboy. Oh, people are saying you're not from Peckham. I'm saying I'm born and bred, mate. It's his authentic Peckham. It's roasting a Joanna. Roasting a Joanna. There you go. Yeah, so I dug out for Nate's Delectation because I know that Nate loves inscrutable

cockney ephemera. After the show stopped doing regular seasons, they started doing these little three-episode mini-seasons around Christmas time every few years. And so I found one from 96, which included what I think is one of the most iconic Only Falls and Horses episode ever, which is called Heroes and Villains. And the basic plot of the episode is, to be honest, the end of the episode so overrode to what happened at the start because it's not super connected. But they've bought all these alarm clocks that don't work.

A running theme with Only Falls and Horses is that they are market traders. And so they're always like... They've bought a load of stuff that's total shit and they're trying to sell it. And then usually trying to avoid getting arrested or beaten up by the people that they sold it to. They're bought all these alarm clocks which don't work. Okay, fuck yeah. The thing opens with the dream sequence. The weird dream sequence in the future, which is Asian somehow.

Could actually have been referencing Johnny Mnemonic. I mean, it genuinely seemed that way. Yeah, and it's around the same time frame as when that film came out. But basically, Del Boy's son Damien is now a horrible world dictator and among other things. Yeah, Trotter Industries is like the global mega corporation that controls everything. Yeah, which is again, I think Damien, so Del's wife Raquel and Damien, their son are kind of characters that only come into the show a bit later. But there's this like running thing that like Damien, the child is evil and like Rodney hates him

and is the only one that acknowledges that the child is evil. And he's like six or five in the episode that we watched. So yeah, I guess he's got a lot of foreshadowing there. Yeah, and sort of in the future, like the old Rodney is being bullied by adult Damien. And then he wakes up and is very, very relieved that he's just in modern day Peckham circa 1996. And it's Rodney's birthday and Del Boy's bought him a present, which is a gold bracelet that says Rodney on it, except that it actually says Rooney. And Del Boy insists that the second I was actually a D and it's just copper plate writing.

And this is like a running theme throughout the episode that people look at Rodney's bracelet and go Rooney. Hilariously, I only know what copper plate writing is because of having read the Adrian Mole books as a kid, because it's a reference that some expression people use in English that I'm American English that I'm aware of. I mean, I've never heard it used in any context besides talking about British handwriting, like fancy handwriting or something like that. So yeah, I'm familiar with it mostly because of the font. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I just legitimately, the only time I'd ever seen it reference was in the Adrian Mole books where like, he gets to get something from like an old guy that he's

like sort of friends with and the old guy like wrote hand wrote him a note and like they can basically not read it because it's such fancy handwriting. It's referred to as copper plate or something like that. So that's how I that's how I know about it. Right. Okay. That makes sense. And then the other the other plot strand that they introduced at this point is that Rodney Rodney's wife Cassandra is trying to get pregnant and so they've been given a kind of like fucking schedule by the hospital. And it's driving him insane that he's having to have sex like multiple times a night, which I'm not sure is actually how that works. I think if anything, they advise you not to do that. But he's on this like

aggressive getting pussy schedule, which he's not enjoying. He's driving him nuts. Yeah, exactly. He Rodney is in all capacities, the opposite of Riley. Yeah, some TF some TF deep law for you there. So then they go to the scene in the they go to the local greasy spoon for a fry up. And there we meet the characters trigger and boy see who are another couple of just like, I mean, they're both like, they appear a lot in the show, but they're just like real archetypal like trigger is like their friend who's completely stupid, who is a road sweeper. And he has been given a medal by the council, because he has saved the council money by he claims using the same broom for 20 years. A story which boy see the wealthy used

card either finds extremely boring, but they're having this conversation about the broom. And he's like, well, that's quite impressive trigger, you know, that's 20 years, that's two decades. And he's like, yeah, well, I wouldn't go that far. Because trigger is very stupid. Once again, once again, inscrutable British jokes. I mean, I get the gist of the joke, but I'm sure like, well, I'm clearly the laugh track indicates that other people got it too. Automated laugh track found it very funny. Throughout this, there was a lot of just like Nate pulling inscrutable faces and me like genuinely laughing at these shit gags. Oh yeah, there's so many like genuinely you may have this might be my waterloo for comprehending Britain

in the sense of I would be the loop the person losing waterloo. I'm Napoleon, I'm French and I'm losing because like, yeah, it's just there, there's so many things right, I sort of kind of get what's being hinted at, but like, it's turns of phrase that make no sense to me at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of that throughout. And then they have the payoff of that whole bit is that trigger is like, he's talking about, yeah, we've got a saying in the road sweeper community, look after you broom. And then he goes, and I've looked off this road, maintained it, it's had 14 new heads and 17 new handles. And then the the cafe owner comes over and he's like, well, I was at the same broom then. He's like, look, I've got a picture with it. And then it's like

showing the picture of him getting his medal with the broom. So they're actually doing like a very sophisticated ship of thesis thing about triggers. You're right. Definitely when I don't understand some niche cockney sort of thing, the best way to explain it to me is to use Greek mythology. But I also will not get to need to do a crash on the ship of these years. Yeah, that would be great, actually. Yeah, there's a whole. So the myth of these years who killed the Minotaur, he goes to Crete kills the Minotaur, and he's sailing back from Crete to mainland Greece, I think. Or was he from one of the other islands? I can't remember either way gets in his fucking boat goes there. And the journey takes him such a long time that over the course of the journey,

he basically changes every single part of the ship has to be replaced at like various. So like the ship of thesis has become a running thing about like if you've replaced every part of it, is it still the same? That's kind of the like the sugar babes got no original members still a band that exists. It's a ship of thesis. Triggers broom, you can add it to the cannon. Yeah, exactly. No, that was intentional. Muti abuena was a really, really big fan of Greek mythology. So she did that by design deliberately. I'm going to create a band that is so classical. Yeah, sometimes they go to the pub, seeing the pub. I think because this was part of like a Christmas special series, they were really trying to hit like all of the nostalgia beats

of the series. They go to the pub, the pub landlord. He's like Marlene's there, whose boy's his wife. And she is the public and is trying to get boys in Marlene's have some of the food. And he's like, Oh, would you like something nice to eat? And they're like, Yeah, let's go to a different pub. Laugh track. Classic. But actually, the pub they reference as a harvester, which somehow makes that even funnier. Like, I don't know if Nate, we ever subjected you to the harvester? I don't think so now. God, I feel like this is another this is another whole Britain law tangent. But I mean, would that be like, I haven't been to a Toby Carvery either. So I mean, I feel like there's a whole lot of stuff in similar. Yeah. But Carvery is like a slightly

different like a Carvery is like a buffet roast. Whereas a harvester is more like you order off of a menu, but it's like a big like chain pub thing. But that yeah, they suck. They're really bad. We went through a phase on the live stream of watching videos of this like Essex influencer family who were getting like, you know, at that really like depressing level of YouTube where they're getting like 20,000 views. And they're putting like a lot of effort into it. And they're just like going and like reviewing the harvester. Yeah, that's the kind of maybe that's the kind of job that Delboy would have in the modern era. YouTuber only fools and horses could be interesting. Yeah, how do you make it? I mean, obviously, Peckham has just a different flu

geezer. Yes, exactly. So while they're at the pub, I can't believe that we just watched this. And the first half of it is already when we get to the second half, it will become apparent why I don't basically at the pub. They are they that's where they hear the story about the fancy dress party for all the publicans that once a year they had and that also implies there's a prize for best contest and you win a thousand pounds. Well, it's a thousand pounds stereo apparently, but you win you win some money or you win a stereo worth some money if you have the best dress costume. So that's where Delboy gets the idea of them going in fancy dress. Yeah, he wants to win this. He wants to win this

prize. But I feel like you should also mention the fact that there's a running joke about his answering machine that he bought at a discount from some geezer. It doesn't work. And so his wife apparently her parents who she had no relationship with have gotten in touch with her, but they had to do this via post because they'd been calling but the answering machine wasn't recording messages. So this does come up again, of course. But effectively, she takes Damien to go meet her parents because she's not quite ready for her parents to meet her insane husband. And that leaves him free on a Saturday night to then basically Shanghai Rodney into going to this fancy dress party with him. Yeah, because it so happens that

Rodney is also stuck in Peckham without his wife who's gone to her parents villa in the south of France. I'm saying this today at the time there's kind of like a there's another bit of trash future law that all these guys have like fancy wives. Not every member of trash future is fancy, but some. Yeah. And so basically, Cassandra is in like France or Spain. Raquel is visiting her parents who again, it's implied that her parents are kind of fancy because they live in Milton Keynes, which is also extremely funny. I didn't quite get that in the episode, but that is actually yes, a funny concept. Yeah, like half of the half of the stuff in it, I can't quite tell whether it's like because some of the stuff is like, Oh, these characters are so stupid. That's what

they would think was fancy. And half of it is just like genuinely, it's from so long ago that people thought that was fancy. Yeah, that was a good point. I think Milton Keynes, they were probably taking the piss out of the characters as being like, Oh, they're so they're so from Peckham that they would think that Milton Keynes was fancy, but I'm not sure. For American listeners, Milton Keynes is a new town in, isn't it? Bedfordshire. Yeah, which it sucks was built. It's one of the only cities in the UK that has, it may be the only city in the UK that has a American style numbered street grid. And it's not all of it, but there's a part of the city that actually is like first street, second street, third street, which would feel right at home,

except you have to live in Milton Keynes. Yeah. And lots of the streets in Milton Keynes are like really grandiosly named and they're named after like famous streets in other parts of the world. So I remember once I, because I used to sometimes get the bus from Cambridge to Oxford, if I was going to hang out with friends who are at Oxford, and it goes through Milton Keynes. And just Milton Keynes is like, I mean, they're actually, you know, everywhere that that bus goes is utterly cursed because it goes from Cambridge, right? Then it hits St Neats, horrible. Then it hits Bedford, one of the worst towns in the UK for my money. Then Milton Keynes cursed it in an entirely different way, but there's this bit of Milton Keynes that's like

all like kind of like crumbling sort of industrial buildings and the street is called Sunset Boulevard. So good. Yeah, it also goes through Buckingham, another just absolutely cursed British town. If you and I ever start making Russian Vox Pop videos again, we'll have to go to Buckingham. We ever get out and fucking do anything ever again. I mean, at the point now where I've been staring at the same walls for so long that quite frankly, the opportunity to even go to some shit town in the UK would be interesting because it's just something different. Absolutely. I find myself like, well, I would love to visit the rest of Europe too, but also like, yeah, I'd settle for going to Plymouth. Like, genuinely, I'm at that fucking state.

I think what the British government didn't realize about, you know, the coronavirus pandemic and subsequent lockdowns was how many podcasts it would cause us to make. Yeah, no, it's fair. Just nothing better to do. Yeah, that's the real issue. I mean, I've been getting out in the sense of going grocery shopping and running errands and then coming here as well to work. Like I, it has not been as bad as say, for example, Cynthia, who like going running in the summer and like getting her flu jab and getting her biometrics appointment has not done anything anywhere besides just like full work from home, everything. So like, yeah, yeah, even she was like, yeah, I'd love to go to like Brighton. I know you're a fucking brain and

on fire. I was like, yeah, don't mention Brighton on this podcast. Milo hates Brighton, which I mean, I get, but also, I mean, Brighton to me is not a place I'd want to live, but I understand the appeal. It's just, it's got a lot of things that make it not appealing if you're coming from London in the sense that like it's not as cool as London, but it's as expensive as London. And it's full of people who think it's really cool. Yeah, I mean, yeah. What are my memories of Brighton playing the world transformed for our live show and then having the server and the pub accidentally dump beer all over one of our friends by mistake. Like, oh, fuck, I don't remember that. Were you there for that? Or did you, did you come and have a drink with us afterwards?

I'm pretty sure I did. I remember the server came out with food and pints and tripped and spilled the pints all over the table. Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah, that's my experience. That and accidentally running into Yanis Varifakis in the fucking corridor. Classic Brighton running into Yanis Varifakis. People are always doing this. It doesn't happen in Esport. And that's how you know Brighton's fucking made it. Yanis Varifakis sightings happen all the time. Fucking hell, yeah. Esport and you'll be lucky if you get, I don't know, James Meadway. We like James Meadway. Respects to James. No slight on James Meadway. That was the only other economist I could think of.

I was thinking of, well, I was going to say, I was thinking of, if anything, he's quite high in my estimation because he's one of two economists I can think of. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was going to say. But also, I mean, shout out to our web designer, Tom, who lives in Esport, I think. Yeah, or like he lives somewhere between Esport and Brighton, I think in like a smaller, I think it's like quite near Esport, Maria. I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah. So basically, we've gone on a tangent talking about shit towns in the south of England. Oh, absolutely. On the south coast. But yeah, Esport is actually deep south, if you will. Has the, I think one of the sunniest towns in all of the UK. Esport gets more

sunlight hours, like, unobstructed by clouds than any other city in the UK. And you would not fucking notice. You would not because it's still a city in England. Man, I once did a gig in Esport with a friend of the show, Aiden Tecai Jones. And we went for a walk around Esport before this gig. And just like everyone in Esport was either like about to die old, like that or were like, like every, every single street was like a complete piece of shit. Like every street you walk down, like there are some nice streets in Brighton, like Esport, and you're like, dear God. And like everyone, everyone apart from the old people were like, Romanians who had been drastically miss-sold. Like who would like to go to UK and

like show up in fucking Esport. And then we did this gig. Oh man, this guy's like one of the worst comedy writers. And he was like, he basically, he paid everyone like three pounds, 50 or something. It was like ridiculous. Like the whole thing was like, it was kind of set up as like a paid gig. And then he was like, yeah, but you're only getting a cut of the proceeds. And then like the whole, like we got conned basically. And it was in like a shopfront, this gig. But then I found out that the same promoter, another time they were like, Oh, you think this is bad? And I'm like, why? What has this guy done before? And they were like, Oh, well, one time I came here and did a gig for him. And he was supposed to pay him like, not even very much money, like 20 pounds. And then

at the end, the guy comes up to me and he's like, yeah, I don't have the, I don't have the 20 pounds. And he's like, but I do have a prostitute back at my house if you want. I was going to make a joke about, you know, but here's some tokens for a strip club where people don't get naked or something like that. But that's way better. Yeah. And it's like, because it is he, you've got to be paying the prostitute, right? So like, have you given her the money for the guy like 20 quid? I don't know. Questions abound. If visit, guys. Yeah, apparently we've now, this is now a pro eSpawn podcast. We're just doing eSpawn tourism. We're going to relocate the studio to eSpawn.

eSpawnology. I mean, it would be cheap. Yeah, that's very true. You could definitely save some money. I do sometimes think that like, if you could just move, if you could just move like everyone that you see and do to like somewhere cheaper in the UK, like it will be fine. Then we'd be foiled by the shitty internet. I know that would happen because the internet's bad enough in London. I can only imagine what it would be like if you moved to a city like that. I think if you're in like town centers, it's okay. But if you're, yeah, anywhere outside of that, it's like, yeah, fucking nightmare. You've got to be near a telephone exchange. That's the main thing. But yeah, anyway, so the episode, they get to this point where there's a scene where like,

Rodney and Cassandra are like talking about the fertility schedule and she brings out this like huge graph about when they've got a fucking, and she's like, see, it's just once tonight. And then he's like, look at fucking Tuesday. And then she like hurriedly falls the graph away, which is this is like very amusing thing that gets developed through the episode of just like British men are just having sex demanded of them by their wives. And they're like, I just want to hang out with the geezers. Why are you making me fuck? Once again, these guys are the opposite of Riley. Yeah. This is extremely British though. I just want to hang out with the fellas.

She's trying to make me upset. Yo, what am I gay? Having sex with my wife? I think, I think the law we constitute this as geezer abuse. Absolutely. And so yeah, the, the long and short of it is that Raquel takes Damien's going to see her parents, Cassandra goes to her parents' villa. So they're, they're stuck in Peckham at the weekend. Meanwhile, another, another thread of the plot has been developing, which is that Adele, who lives in a council flat with hauntology in and of itself has applied to the council for a grant to improve his kitchen for £5,000. And he's been turned down by Councillor Murray and they know what Councillor Murray looks like because now,

from another coincidence, she was the one who awarded the medal to Trigger for road sweeping. So she's in the picture with Trigger. So they've seen her and Adele's, Adele is like scheming to get his £5,000 grant to improve his kitchen. Right. And so then he convinces Rodney that they've got to go to the party and that they've got to dress up. They've got to get a good costume because they want to win this £1,000 hi-fi. We then cut to a scene where they're in the three-wheeled van. I feel like it probably, probably merits some discussion of the three-wheeled van, which is very iconic. And there is one of them, like, I don't know if it's the prop from the show itself or it's a replica, but if you are walking or you're on the bus or

whatever down Peckham Road between Camberwell and Peckham, there is actually a building somewhere that's got the three-wheeled wagon on the front common or whatever, like on the grass there with the paint job on it that says, you know, Trotter Industries or whatever. Yeah, Trotter's independent trainers. With the famously the side of their van says Paris, New York, Peckham. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I live in Peckham, but obviously for one, I'm not 100% sure this was all filmed in Peckham. I mean, not that I'm the expert, but a lot of it was filmed in studios. So I don't know. Yeah, but I'd also say too, is that obviously like stuff that was filmed in the 80s and 90s has almost no resemblance, both because like the neighborhoods changed in a lot of ways, but also because like

they've a ton of the buildings that were in Peckham, especially the council of states have been demolished and, you know, new stuff has been built, mostly luxury rentals or scare quotes, affordable 20% affordable housing. But yeah, I have a bit of affordable housing. Like North Peckham estate was like one of the biggest council of states, one of the biggest public housing works in all of Europe and it's completely gone. Like the entirety of it is gone. There's still a row of blocks that still have what I believe are the incinerators or like the old rubbish incinerators from what used to be a much bigger estate, but that the actual like the space that it used to occupy is all gone. Yeah, because yeah, Peckham has changed a lot.

And Southern council, a labor council, they'd fucking love selling off public assets to private developers. It's like they're fucking modus operandi. So we love to do it. Yeah. I mean, the British government, as we talked about in our episode with India Block, love making councils asset strip themselves because as we know, that's a process you can keep doing forever to pay your running costs. Exactly. And it makes perfect sense. Why should the government own things? They shouldn't. That's socialism. Exactly. So yeah, the Robin Reliant, people who don't know, is a three wheeled van. They also made three wheeled car versions. I mean, it's one of the it's one of the dumbest looking vehicles you know, it's about like it could only have been

conceived and built in Britain. There was this like brief period from like in the sort of like 70s and 80s where like there were like kooky British inventors who came up with like incredibly dumb shit ideas and got this shit made like the Robin Reliant, the Sinclair C five that was like the little like electric scooter thing where it had the handlebars went under your knees. And you like incredibly it just Google the Sinclair C five. If you're in any doubt as to what that is, have yourself a great time, Google it up, which is really funny to me because one of the reasons why Britain has its own sort of like video game industries because of Sinclair computers. I did not realize the same guy Sinclair also because the Sinclair computers you could buy

in department stores and like a lot of a lot of the UK's original video game industry back in the days of like text games were just games people made at home and they would sell them in classified ads and stuff like that. If you go back, I remember reading the Bino like old paper copies of the Bino when I lived in Germany that our friends had given us and there are tons and tons of ads or these weird ass games and stuff like that. But yes, Sinclair also made a weird electric scooter and correct me if I'm wrong, but the Robin Reliant, the whole point was that you didn't need a vehicle operator license. You could use a motorcycle license to drive it. Right. This is what I was going to get to. So the like the galaxy brain idea, like I think if trash future had been

going in like the 1980s, we would have been talking about the Robin Reliant because it is absolutely fascinating. But like basically there were lots of people mostly in like the north and in Wales who worked in industries like mining who had like no money as you would expect and a lot of them rode motorbikes, which was common. I mean, it would have been like it was common across the UK earlier than that. Like my my granddad had a motorbike for years before he got a car. That was like quite a common, like my mom used to go on with her family. They used to go on holiday in a motorbike and sidecar, like five of them, which is like that none of them are very big, like both. But my mom and her sister and my uncle are all quite small and so my grandparents were

both pretty small too. But I mean, just like insane fucking getting five people on a motorbike and sidecar. It's funny because there is a place where I've seen this happen, where I've seen where the only family vehicle is a motorcycle and the entire vehicle, the entire family fits on the motorcycle. That place is called Afghanistan, but Afghanistan and Britain have something common. Why do you think Britain loves invading Afghanistan so much? We are kindred spirits. One way or the other, yeah. We love heroin. We love poppies. Yeah, exactly. We love just old dudes sitting around shooting the shit and drinking tea. We like tea a lot. Yeah, exactly. If anything, like the Afghans in the

British should settle their differences as equals. That's what I think. But yeah, so they came up with this idea that technically, because it only had three wheels, you could drive it on a motorbike license because trikes counted as motorbikes. However, there was a big catch, which was that because it was if to get one that you could use on a motorbike license, it wasn't allowed to be fitted with a reverse gear. They made them with reverse gears for people with vehicle licenses, but if you bought one with a motorbike license, they would take the reverse gear out. So you basically had a van that you couldn't reverse. Please tell me you could at least put it in neutral. I presume, yeah, because you can put a motorbike in neutral, so

that would make sense. But just imagine that like a fucking van that you can't reverse. I did not know that. That's fucking amazing, honestly. Yeah. You just have to pick it up like the Mentos car from the from the Mentos advert and fucking turn it around. Have four of your huge friends pick it up for you. I guess you can do that. The four huge M&Ms. My sister used to date a guy who was this like Guido Italian-British guy who was huge and was a car mechanic. Whoa, are you chatting shit, mate? That kind of like that. That's your Guido British Italian. Yeah. And once we were on holiday somewhere, and I think me, I was with my parents and they were to

they'd rented a car, but they were like staying with us. And someone had like blocked their car in in the car park of this restaurant or whatever. And it was just like some small Fiat Punto or something. And he just like picked up the back of the car and just wheeled it out of the way. Yes. Very big guy. When I was in Korea, I had a tiny little Daewoo Mattes, which is like a... Oh, yeah, I've seen them. Yeah. Yeah. You see them around here. There actually was one. The Woo Woo Mattes. Yeah, the Woo Woo Mattes. I'm driving all the way to Durham. There was a there was one the same color, the kind of yellowish one that I had. And I went a little too far forward in the parking lot at Arbentine headquarters during a snowstorm

and actually tipped to the front of the car into like this drainage ditch. Didn't go all the way down, but like it was stuck. And I was just like, oh, fuck. And I saw a group of soldiers saw me and they're like, hey, sir, do you want help? And I'm like, yeah, I mean, I feel bad. I'll happily call a tow truck. But if you guys want... This is the largest automobile I can afford. You guys want to help me then? For sure. And yeah, it took like seven us, but people basically all just like lifted from the front, you know, got into a little bit in the ditch and pushed it up and were able to move this car. Like, yeah, it could be done with a tiny ass car. I mean, I was only in Korea for a year and it was a thousand dollar car. So I didn't give a

fuck. I was like, I'll drive a doofy ass little clown car, you know, if it gets me around. Not everyone is enough of a chat for the 2003 1.1 Renault Clio. I understand. No, I understand. Absolutely. As I'm, as I'm, you know, shamefully and serptitiously looking how to get a British driver's license because you can't just hand in your American license and get one. You can't if you have a Canadian license or formally an EU license, but you cannot if you have an American one. And the car I want to buy is like a fucking Nissan Leaf, but I don't care. I want an electric car and apparently you can get cheap ones. Yeah, the used ones are really cheap because the range isn't very good, but if you want a city car, it's fine. Yeah, exactly. I'm not planning

on like, I mean, as long as it has enough charge in the battery for me to get to Esport and back, I'm okay with it. Who needs to come back? Just get to Esport and stay there. Just stay there. Best live the fucking life. You know, we've got sunbathing. Yeah, you need very limited range when you're going around Esport. It's not a big place, you know, it's perfect for the Nissan Leaf. Fucking hell. I love how like, I think, and I hope the fans enjoy this about Britnology too, is how quickly it just becomes dad chat, you know. Well, I mean, everything that I'm on is going to be dad chat unless Riley is there cracking the whip and trying to keep it on track. But I also think that's a, you know.

Guys, I don't think people are listening to this for the Nissan Leaf. Everything we need to stay on topic here, guys. All right. Well, yeah, guys, as I was saying, let's continue on the topic. So basically, as you were pointing out in, they have this van, they have the Robin Reliant, and there's mechanical trouble with the van. Yeah. So they break down on their way to the fancy dress party, and you're getting this scene of them driving along, and Rodney is, and you can't see them, you can just see the van, and Rodney is complaining about how stupid the costumes are. And then Del Boy is like, yeah, shut up, stop whining, whatever. And then eventually,

they break down, they pull over onto the pavement, and then they're arguing about who's going to get out of the van to go and look under the bonnet. And then eventually, Del Boy gets out and does it, and then you see that he is dressed as Batman. And this isn't like, we're obviously not talking modern Batman, we're talking like the 1960s. Yeah. This is like Adam West, like the blue satin suit Batman. So, and he's also wearing all of his like Cockney Geyser jewelry, like over the top. So he's got like a medallion on, he's wearing like gold rings over the Batman gloves. I got to ask a question as a side note about Cockney Geyser jewelry, as I've heard about this kind of shit, but I haven't really seen people do in that style of like the guy who would wear like

the wrist braids, like the bracelets that are gold, and like the multiple gold rings and shit. I just haven't really seen that. If I see people wearing... It's old fashioned, that's why. Yeah, if I see like guys wearing all like the, to use the British expression, the sort of flash rings and stuff like that, it's more likely going to, it's actually more going to be like people wearing chains and stuff like that. You do see that periodically. Well, Del does that too. He has like the gold necklace that has like a D on it, and that kind of stuff. Yeah, I mean, it is like, it's a bit of like an older era thing, because Del is supposed to be such a like 70s guy, even though this is like happening in the 90s. It's a bit of a like, it's a bit like Seinfeld

in that respect, in that it's like set in the 90s, or like the 80s and 90s, but like kind of it's actually the guys that it's talking about are kind of from a decade before. Yeah. And yeah, but I mean, definitely like growing up in Essex, which is an extremely Cockney part of the world. Yeah, lots of guys wear like gold chains. That's like a big thing, like... Yeah. And that same similar thing of like, I was on the subway one time, and there was like a kid and his girlfriend, and like his parents were down from Boston, and their dad was obviously a Boston 70s guy, and he was wearing like a cool pinky ring and like a fucking a big like Cuban link chain and stuff like that. He was white and he had a very Boston accent,

but that's like an older fashioned kind of thing. Like you just don't see it as much, but I heard references to like Cockney guys with rings and shit, like multiple rings on one hand and stuff. And so seeing this was sort of like, oh, okay. I think Dave Courtney is a bit like that too. He wears a chain and rings and stuff like that. Never look at Dave Courtney and say that he is indicative of anything besides Dave Courtney. What are you talking about? Oh, great friends with Del Trotter. He's coming to my open jacuzzi parties. Del Trotter, you know, the reason he got involved in doing what he's doing now, selling shit that he just gets off people at cheap prices is he couldn't get a regular job

after he had a sword fight in the Chinese takeaway in Bermondsey. So he mentioned into the hostile territory of Bermondsey and he wound up getting in a sword fight. Yeah, Del Trotter is often doing things that you could describe as highly illegal. But yeah, unlike Dave Courtney, the thing with Del Boy and Rodney is they're always like terrified and on the run from the local criminals. Like they're kind of like dodgy dealers, but like they absolutely stay out of the way of the criminals. And yes, they're having this argument. Eventually, Del gets out and checks the thing and eventually like Rodney gets out as well and sees that Del is examining the carburetor using his Zippo Lider as light and he's like,

What the fuck are you doing? And he's like, Well, there's obviously no petrol coming through. So what can the like, you know, how is it unsafe to use this lighter? They get back in, they talk about their options. Rodney's getting furious because they look so stupid that they can't walk home. And he's like, Oh, yeah, we'll just call the RAC and then Del's like, Oh, they'll laugh at us. And he's like, What about the police? And then Del's like, We'll never live it down. We'll have to hem a great. And then Rodney's like, That doesn't sound like such a bad option. And in the end, Del convinces Rodney that they should just run to the fancy dress party because it'll only take them five minutes if they run.

And this ensues, I think this is kind of like renowned as like one of the greatest set pieces that the show ever pulled off is as they set off for a run. And then it cuts to Councilor Murray, who we mentioned previously, leaving the Council building late at night, and she gets mugged in the parking lot by a group of teenagers who look like a group of teenagers out of a French language textbook. I was going to say, yeah, like the, the, the United Colors of Ben Beniton, fucking mugging gang is apparently out there. They're wearing like backwards caps. Yeah, they don't look remotely intimidating. It's quite funny. And, and so then, and then eventually they're in the process of mugging her. She's like kind of fighting them for a handbag.

And then they all turn around and go, like, what the fuck is that? And then in the distance, through this, like a steam, you just see Del Boy and Rodney dressed as Batman and running, Robin running towards them with the Batman theme music. And so then they all run away. Del Boy runs up to the Councilor and introduces himself as Derek Trotter. It is like, I actually recently wrote to you about that application. And then Rodney drags him away and they sort of run off and she's just kind of shell shocked by the whole thing. And you kind of think, well, that presumably must be the major, the major twist that we're going to experience. Then they arrive at the party and they're greeted at the door by Boise,

who's wearing a suit. And they make some comment about how he's not going to do very well in the fancy dress competition. And he's like, yeah. And then they say, oh, yeah, we've come as Batman and Robin and you've come as the penguin. And he's like, I think you'll find I've come as the choker, which of course. Yeah. And so he sends them into the main room and Del Boy picks up this can of silly string, hoping to make a big entrance, burst in spraying silly string everywhere. And it discovers that this fancy dress party is now awake because the guy who was hosting it has died and they phoned everyone to let them know that the party was off, but they got a Del Boy's answering machine, which famously doesn't work. And then as Del Boy is receiving this shock news, he accidentally

fires the silly string again and like covers the widow with it. Apologies are made and it's all fine. They then bump into Trigger in the kitchen, who comments that they obviously didn't get the notice about the fancy dress and then says that he didn't either, but he's just wearing a suit. And then he comments that he's come as a chauffeur, but he feels a bit silly now. And then he makes some joke about how their costume is not very good because Rodney looks like the lone ranger, but Del Boy looks nothing like Tonto. Once again, just like, yeah, the jokes are on a very different sort of your dad register. And I get the intention behind it, but there were moments when I was just like, I was shaking my head like, you must be fucking joking. And then there are

other moments when I look at you and I'm like, Milo, what did he say? There was one in particular where they, of course, basically make a racist joke about Chinese people speaking English, but I genuinely did not get it because I had no idea what the fuck he was saying. It was a bit where... Basically, to cheer up Cassandra, Rodney has bought a rabbit and they're going to go, they're going to be gone for the weekend. So she's wondering, is there a place where they can put the rabbit to be taken care of over the weekend? Yeah, she's like, you know, like a category, but a rabbitry.

Yeah, like a rabbitry, and he says... And then Rodney is like, well, that's a Chinese toilet, isn't it? And then Nate is just looking at me like, because there's obviously laugh track, and then Nate is looking at me like, what the fuck is the joke here? I guess the joke here is that if that's how a Chinese person would say, lavatory, that's the... Yeah. Welcome to Cockney sitcoms from the 90s. I was going to say, I would, you know... Dave Corny wrote that joke.

Make some tutting noises, except that I guarantee you that if you picked an American show from the mid 90s, there would probably also be racist jokes about the way Chinese people speak English. So like, let's not pretend America is any better in that regard. No. So yeah, that... It's very, very reminiscent of a certain era in Britain for sure. Yeah. And so then after the fancy dress party, there's this... They're back at the market, and then an old lady gets mugged for a handbag by the same gang of like Benetton muggers.

Exactly. Yeah. Like you said, the people who's smiling visages, you would see in like a mock dialogue about how to ask for train tickets in the station in Paris are out robbing people in Peckham. Times are hard in France. They had to migrate up to London to do robberies instead of saying bonjour, je m'appelle Jacques or something like that. And so as a result, they're robbing old ladies and... Not enough English language students have been ordering sit-en-presse in the cafe that they run, so they've had to come to Peckham and start mugging people.

Veribly. You know, I wouldn't put it past the perfidious French to do that. That's why this is what happens when you cancel the Erasmus scheme. They just come here and rob people. That's right. That's what brings them over. And that's why we had to leave the EU. And yeah, they like knock this old lady over who's like, oh, it's taking my handbag and then she goes, enough of me ass. Exactly. Great opportunity to just have some sweet one-liners in there.

I love it. Yeah. And Delboy is like packing out the market store while Rodney is giving chase to one of the muggers. And then eventually he catches the mugger and then the mugger starts chasing him. And Delboy is like kind of behind with this big suitcase. And he sees they're running back the other way. Eventually he sort of intercepts them and manages to knock the mugger out with his big suitcase. And then Del gets given a medal by the council for bravery. Yeah. And basically Del manages to cut Rodney out of getting a medal by...

Because he's like, well, you were running away. And so then Rodney manages to cover it by pretending that he turned down the medal because he wanted to remain anonymous. And then Del manages to crowbar this into getting Councillor Murray to give him his £5,000 kitchen grant because she's so grateful to him for saving him from the muggers. And then the final scene is like they have a... There's like them and Raquel and Cassandra and Uncle Albert and whatever are having like a celebration. And then it's revealed that Cassandra is now pregnant.

And Rodney's really worried that someone's going to reveal about him telling them about all the fucking he's had to do. And then no one says anything. So they're all sort of relieved. And then Uncle Albert comes in and goes, I know you had to go for a while to get there, boy. And Uncle Albert is wearing all of his navy medals, but just like on his like normal clothes. Yeah, 100%. That was it. That was the episode we watched.

And I mean, to be honest with you, I recognize the sort of importance, like in terms of this show being really popular and like the sort of centrality of it being in Peckham and stuff, like I still see references to it and things like that. But I'm not going to pretend that this is a show that I'd be like, I want to watch all seven seasons right fucking now. I've got some bad news to you about the rest of this podcast. Every episode only falls in audiences. That's what we're doing now. Which is funny because I mean, I did grow up watching some British TV because my mom

had shows she liked watching. And then also we had friends when we lived in Germany who were a couple from Manchester, but they had lived in Germany for like 25 years at that point. And in those days, if you bought a VCR in Europe, it was PAL. So like we had a VCR that basically couldn't play American tapes. And German TV fucking sucks. Sucks now, it sucked then. Region coding was so cool. How they used to do that just to fuck with people basically. Yeah, my parents eventually got one that had a switch that you could actually do NTSC in PAL. But anyway, so I remember watching stuff like every season of The Blackadder and

some other like Rowan Atkinson stuff and some like BBC dramas with my mom and stuff like that. I feel like my mom left England early enough that this would not have entered on her radar of like a show. Nate just wants to watch America's Strongest Mountain is being forced to watch like the Trouser Ferreting World Championships or something. Just like mom, why do we have to watch I just want to watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coming out of their shells for the 15th time because I'm six years old, but instead I have to watch some some sad drama about the interwar period and noncing and boarding schools or something. I don't know. Yeah, God have a bit of noncing. I remember watching the Ip Crest file. Oh, that's a good move.

Yeah, when I was when I was the Yikes. Michael Cain. Now listen to me. Michael Cain. That's it. That kind of 1960s. Michael Cain always talking very quickly. You're a big man, but you're out of shape. Now behave yourself. You're no good dirty bastard. David Bedeal as Michael Cain. You're no good dirty bastard in my mentions. Yeah, I mean all these Italians are in my mentions. So long story short, this was I think the weirdest thing about it for me was that there's a certain kind of old timeliness to it, even though it's more or less like if you watch a movie like in contemporary like contemporary 1996 Britain like train spotting. Yeah, it's not

going to seem that different. I mean, okay, the big thing is obviously there's no like computers and smartphones and shit. But I mean, that's sort of table stakes. You know that getting into it. But like if you watch train spotting, I mean, I must have seen that movie 20 times before I moved here. Like you get a pretty good sense of things. I love that movie. It's fucking great. Watch that movie 20 times. Love trains. I haven't watched it recently, but I watch it so many times in high school. Yeah, I love that movie. I'd like make my friends watch it. I thought it was just like scrutinizing the subtitles. Like what the fuck. I had to watch with something for sure, at least the first couple of times, which is funny because if you watch

it with subtitles, it's closed captioning. So it's not just the dialogue that's subtitled. It's also like the actions on a model. So the famous scene where he has diarrhea and he goes to the worst toilet in Scotland, farting wet slapping, farting shit. That's like the it's like you and McGregor making like profoundly emphatic faces while the brackets farting common shit. Incredible. If I could just rig up the old DVD player and get a screen grab, that would be an excellent reply image. Next time, like a Times columnist says some dumb shit, but never is there anything more British than the closed caption of farting shitting over you and McGregor. But yeah, what I'm trying to say though is that if you watched a movie like

Trainspotting, it wouldn't necessarily seem that old timey, you know, like a lot of it would seem relatively. I mean, it was sort of a matter of fact ish of like a representation of how things are. I mean, obviously it's stylized. Whereas this like this had way more in a way the feel felt a little more like I was watching Dad's Army. Not like, okay, obviously Dad's Army is set in the 1940s, but you know what I mean? Like that old timey TV feel, there was more of that. It's studdedly old fashioned. Yeah, I think that's absolutely. And particularly with those episodes that came out in the 90s because they were kind of like they were sort of stuck in the time warp because the show finished in 91, but they were still making episodes occasionally in 2003,

but they never updated the aesthetic. Like it all stayed in that like 80s, like as a kind of, I guess, like nostalgia trip to the show itself. But I mean, also like when you watch the outdoor scenes, like when they're chasing after the United Colors of Bennet and Muggers through the streets of what I suppose is South London, but I mean, like it could be anywhere honestly. The videography is such that it looks really washed out, like filmed on 16 millimeter film, like the sun shadowing and stuff like that, or like the glare is really intense. Like it looks like the almost as bad as the when you watch Monty Python and the scenes that were shot outdoors look, they look like a newsreel reportage from like a war zone, whereas the studio footage is obviously way more looks

more like what you'd see on TV. And so yeah, there wasn't like a very, there's a very old fashion-ness to it. That I mean, in a way, like you said, hontology about him living in a council estate. I mean, having lived on a council estate impact him for a year is just sort of strange, because it was just kind of a reminder that like, oh yeah, like that used to be normal, like that used to be how people lived. And it wasn't like it was just the thing you could do. Yeah, it wasn't like run down, whereas like real Britonology heads will recall from the last episode that like in Sotherk now to get on the waiting list, you have to have lived in Sotherk for at least five years. That's to get on the waiting list. You have no idea how long it's going to take to get

placed in an actual council. Yeah, it's just, it was like you say kind of hontology in a way, because like it's sort of because of, if it's holding to the original concept from a show that came out in the early 80s, then it's basically like, what if thatcherism didn't happen? Like there is that kind of aspect to it, you know what I mean? And so in a way, yeah, I felt alternate reality, man in the high castle, but for a world without thatcherism. Wow, it's that future utopia, me and cars are flying everywhere. Yeah, man. I mean, so there was that actually perversely thatcher is still alive due to the huge advances in medicine. Yeah, she feels kind of left out and lonely because no one knows who

she is. And so no one is pissing on her grave. Yeah, she's been forced into a council flat. Yeah. Thatcher always said that if she had lost the election as conservative party leader, and whenever it happened next, you know, when she and her husband had made plans to basically for their whole family to emigrate to Canada. Oh, wow. Yeah, I would say that Canada would probably be a lot worse, but there would be one less storied occurrence of the Paris-Dakar rally. Oh, yeah, yeah. There might not have been a coup in Equatorial Guinea. Jerk van der Klurk would probably just be a random guy in Rhodesia. He would have gone to work for someone else. Just imagine just like Mark Thatcher just being guys like, oh, fuck, bad.

Mark Thatcher has like a popular YouTube channel where he does skidoo tricks. Exactly. Mark Thatcher will wind up being a coup attempt with Jean-Luc Dubastard somehow. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're doing a cuba qua takeover full revolution. They're doing Eda-style terrorism in Quebec. Just blowing up McDonald's because the menu, the bilingual menu, used too many Americanisms. There's no maple syrup on this Big Mac. Why you call it a Big Mac in French? It's not a Big Mac. It's a Grand Mac. Why you not call it a Grand Mac? The Grand Mac. I've got lots of Grand Mac in my club. You know, it's a typical Grand Mac. Exactement. Je connais 500 Grand Macs avec des...

500 Grand Macs. I've got 500 Grand Macs. I've completely forgotten how to say, I think, avec les nez plat. Flat nose geysers, 500 of them. Mark, yeah, Mark Thatcher would become Canadian, French Canadian Dave Courtney. That's just, that would have been his fate. David Courtney. Exactly, exactly. But the boomers got radicalized and they voted for the Tories and now we live in hell. That's what happened, yeah. So, as a coder to this, to the subject of living in hell, I have a little bit about Only Fools and Horses internationally, which Nate is pulling a face here, which, I mean, it's hard to conceive. Now, granted, listen to this show. I mean, if you're not British, you almost certainly haven't watched this show. So, it's like,

it's inscrutably hard to understand if you're not British, because it's so, it's inscrutably hard to understand if you're not from the South, because it's so London, it's so like, incredibly like fast thinking geysers getting themselves into trouble. Yeah, this is like, what if like, Guy Ritchie, but inscrutable. It's like that kind of a thing. And like, Guy Ritchie, but not for export. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, I grew up with it, because like, that's what my family are like. They're all cockneys. Like, this is what my brother talks like. I mentioned this on the stream, but my brother the other day was texting me, and he was moaning about something that the German government had done, and he started

referring to the Germans as box heads. I'm like, excuse me. And he's like, well, you never called him a box head. He's asking an old city term, mate. So your brother is Dave Courtney. It's like, yeah, the Germans are box heads in the Eastern Europeans are flat heads. I don't know. God only knows where that comes from. But yeah, I think people don't imagine that when they imagine my family. I think they think everyone sounds like me or posture like that is not the case. Anyway, another segment of Wikipedia, only falls and horses were sold to countries throughout the world. Australia, which is where Nate's character came from, Belgium, Cyprus, Greece, Ireland, Israel, Malta, New Zealand,

Pakistan, Portugal, South Africa, hello, Spain, and Yugoslavia in all former Yugoslav countries in which Serbian or Croatian is spoken. The title was Mutske, or yeah, which can roughly be translated as shady deals. And in Macedonia is called Splitki. In Slovenia, however, the show was coined Samo Bidaki Iconi, which is a literal Slovenian translation of the original English title. The show enjoyed particular popularity in the former Yugoslavia and is regarded as a cult series in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia. The idea, this included a picture of a mural in Serbia. Serbian Delboy is a very interesting concept. I like the idea of another alternate timeline where they managed to make greater Serbia or a

thing and Serbian troops are invading Britain and putting people in camps or whatever, but they're like, bring me Delboy Trotter, he shall be king. Just like grabbing David Jason and Nicholas Lindhurst and like installing them as like court jesters. It goes on. A number of overseas remakes have also been produced. So in those countries that were previously listed, these were just, they just bought the show and subtitled it or dubbed it or whatever. A Dutch version aired for one series in 1995 and was called What Schrift, What's It Worth? The Trotters were renamed the Asmonds and it starred Johnny Craigamp Jr. as Steph Del. Sacco van der Maid as Grandad and Caspar van Kooten as Robbie, Brackets Rodney, and was shown on RTL4. So you thought Turkish

Sopranos was funny. We've got Dutch Only Fools and Horses. The Only Fools and Horses would be amazing too. Rodney, you don't understand. We've got the shell of this expired boot polish down at the market. I bought it all from a guy down at the... I've noticed there's a problem with it. It gives you a really bad rash. That's why everybody in our town's got a rash right now. Don't ask me what they've been doing. We live on a canal boat. A Portuguese remake of Furovidas, a local expression for someone who lives outside the law, ran for three series from 1999 to 2001. It was a literal translation of the British version with all episodes based on the original. It's centered on the Fintas family who live in Sapadores, a neighborhood in Lisbon, and starred Miguel Guilherme as Quim

Del. Canto Ekastro as Grandad and Ivo Canelas as Ioka Rodney. In the Portuguese version, the reliance equivalent was a 1988 Suzuki Supercarry. A Slovenian remake called Brat Bratu, Brother to Brother, which sounds like a porno, was broadcast from 2008 to 2009. All episodes were based on the original British story, like fully 30 years after the original series started. What gets me is that every single one of these countries has a culture of just like a guy with a van who does shady shit, and so it's all relatable in a way. You take out all the sort of like Britishisms and you just take the general theme of like, these guys are dumbasses who make money in the market by just trying to sell people shit they don't need, and everyone can conceive

of that. Absolutely. This is like the true global handshake meme. The thing that unites us all is geysers. Geysers with vans. Yeah. I love this detail. It featured the brothers who are called Brain, which is like Bain, but Slovenian, who's played by a guy called Brain and Bain. Two brothers, Brain and Bain. We are going to cause crimes and problems for all of us who move from Maribor to Ljubljana. The series also stars Peter Turnovsik as Grandad. It was directed by Branko. Wait, his name is Bamco? That's Branko. Okay. Yeah. If Bamco was actually a real name in the greater Yugoslavia, then thus Bamco Margeric would be just too great of a character. Like a squad SUV made by the Ugo company that's called the Branko.

The series was cancelled after 13 episodes due to poor ratings. How do you get poor ratings in Slovenia? What else was on? I just love the idea of if you have a full Yugoslav or Eastern European country where you reset this, then basically the Grandad has to be a Red Army veteran. Instead of his charming, endlessly boring, and repetitive tales of the Navy in World War II, he's just talking about Stalingrad and drinking slowly. He said it was in the Balkans. He's probably talking about being in the Ustice. Oh, man. Yeah. A dark turn there. Nice bunch of lads, the Ustice.

The dubious accolade of being the group that the SS thought took things a bit far. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, but you know, in the grand scheme of things, they can all appreciate a shady van man. They can do in bumbling crimes, just like anyone else. You defends the Nuremberg Trial. He's like, I am just like you. I try and sell dodgy items at the market. People like to call me a war criminal, but I am just a geezer. I am just the count. One war cry. I do not believe in this court's validity. I'm going to drink poison one vial. Oh, man. The guy poisoning himself. What king? Not a king for all the things he did, but

that one action. Yeah. I mean, I do find it funny. I've made this joke on hell of a way that the international criminal court is interesting in the sense that they basically only seem to exist to try African dictators and warlords, and then also people that Western Europeans don't think are white, but are from like the Balkans. And so mask has kind of slipped in that regard. But in the grand scheme of things, maybe you could actually get out of a war crimes charge by appealing to a British judge and or jury with your knowledge of only fools and horses ephemera. Oh, we absolutely love to do that. Yeah. Well, I think that about that probably about Tez it, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, I mean, like I said, this is one of those things where it's rare

that Milo subjects me to something that's so inscrutably British that I genuinely have to look over them and be like, can you help me understand this? I can only find a frame of reference or something like this. But I just don't have it. A lot of the jokes went over my head because they are so incredibly cockney. So like I said, if you if you want, we can we can link to some YouTube stuff in the show notes if we can find any episodes. I know there's definitely good. There's definitely clips on YouTube. I think we should link to the there's a clip of the Batman and Robin scene. Yeah, we can link to that. Yeah, exactly. Because it is it is a pretty funny gag. That was one of

those. There were like like two or three moments in the show where you actually laughed and that was one of them. But I will honestly say this, that this was harder for me to parse than carry on up the Khyber. Well, that isn't hard to parse at all. There are also like inscrutable terms of phrase in it. But like the basic dynamics of what's going on is like just horny. Yeah, well, but no, but see, that's the thing is that like this, it was hard for me to follow only carry on up the Khyber was more of a how and why did this get made? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm reminded because we live in Britain. Yeah. I sometimes I think that the carry on up the car carry on movies were like a concerted attempt to get the British people to be horny for adults.

Government propaganda, like when they were like trying to get people to drink milk or eat eggs or whatever, they're like, why not fucking adult woman? Biologically, oh wait, I was I was trying to do a British voice into the camera. It was the count slash Israeli war criminal slash former prime minister. Yeah, well, I suppose like you said that about does it. So thank you very much for listening to yet another Britonology. We love to Britonologize. We will have another one this month for people on the $10 tier. Yeah, at the end of the month, we don't know what it's going to be about yet, but we will we do not we're always Milo is always hard in the research minds also known as Wikipedia.

It's going to be a big night out one, but it depends on who we're still working on guests for that. Tom Archer is in but we're trying to get another guest as well and I don't know, as ever. Who knows? Life is strange. We live in we live in an odd time in human history, but you can always count on us to relay very strange cultural products from an incredibly normal island. Oh, absolutely. We will be examining the racism island until the day we're both deported to Pretty Patel's concentration camp on Ascension Island podcasting live from the concentration camp on Ascension Island. I mean, there they the British talk radio was trying to rile up its listeners by getting them to vote online and whether or not Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's

citizenship should be stripped from them for daring to insult the royal family. So you know what? Like all I can say is it's only getting better every day. This country is definitely normal, definitely sane, and we will we will absolutely only have positive things to report. Like the British the British right wing like becomes so right wing that they accidentally become like communist revolutionaries. They're like executing the royal family for not being royal enough. We've got five year plan to make this country less gay. Love it. Love it. Love every minute of it. Thank you for listening at the end of the month. We'll see you later on later.