TRASHFUTURE - *UNLOCKED* Britainology 13: The Big Night Out feat. Tom Usher

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

This week, Nate and Milo address the important issue: why is there a culture of getting on it and getting completely blasted out of your mind? What is a big night out? What is the sesh? What is the deal with those guys in the picture? To help our investigation, we brought on nightlife expert and journalist Tom Usher (@Tom_Usher_) to discuss. If you want to hear more Britainology, sign up on the Patreon at the $5 tier for one a month and $10 for two a month here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We will be doing a live show in London on Wednesday, March 2. Get your tickets here! https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/comedy/trashfuture-live-pre-election-christmas-spectacular *MILO ALERT* Milo has a bunch of live shows this month in both London and Prague. Check them out here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-show *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello, and welcome to yet another episode of Britannology, Trashutra with only the unhealthy bits included. None of the vegetables, none of Riley reading to you from a Google doc or making you understand Gidebore, none of that. Just pure unadulterated, the two rambliest people on the podcast talking absolute shit. I'm Milo Edwards. I'm joined as ever by my co-host, Nate Bethea. Hello. That's all I'm going to say. Hello. I can't read your body language. I'm recording remotely, so I'm just going to keep it brief.

That's all you're getting. This is the $5. You want Nate to say something more than that? Subscribe for the $10 Britannology. Yeah. Do not yell at us. I was previously recorded Milo's other show, Masters of Our Domain, earlier today, and I'm like, I'll just say something, and they'll immediately jump in and fill in. I'm like, no, wait a minute. This is a much more sedate show. I'm supposed to fill the gaps myself. That's right. That's what you've got to do as a podcaster.

Yeah, there's weird podcasting skills that you hone that actually don't really help you on Trash Future because it's so madcap that you have to do the opposite of good podcasting, which is constantly fighting for airtime. Whereas on regular podcasts, it's mostly just filling the time that you've got. Anyway, this week, in order to fill the time that we've got, which is infinite in a way, we are going to be talking about the great British big night out, having it fucking large. And we are joined by the absolute tier one representative of that spirit. Tom Ashley, how you doing? Hi, I'm good. Thanks for having me and giving me free beers as well.

It's an absolute, it's the least we could do really. It is the least you could do to be fair. Yeah. That's what we've done. That's what we do on this podcast is the absolute least. The absolute fucking least, exactly. We've got, we've got Tom in studio. We've got, we've got some beers out. It's a wonderful, it's a wonderful time to be alive. It's a Friday night as well. I think we have to put that in there. So, yeah, Friday Cheers has already been done from the studio live and direct.

Live and direct, that's all right. We're just going to get really pissed as pissed as we can. This is a, this is a sort of hauntology, Britannology, because we are, we are with beers recording an episode about a big night out on a Friday night doing a podcast with three dudes. So, and we couldn't even really go out, even if we wanted to right now. I think it's actually quite, quite, there's something quite like poignant about the fact that we're just three guys having to talk about going out because we're now all confined irrevocably. It seems like to not going out and just drinking beers indoors without

the David Goethe playing in the background. I can sort of imagine it being like sort of like three middle-aged guys who aren't allowed by their wives to go out, but they are allowed to record a podcast in one of their basements every Friday night. And like the mics aren't even plugged in. Like the wives tell them that the mics are plugged in. Oh, he's just recording the podcast with his friends. Don't worry about him. It's harmless. Leave him alone, you know, get some out of our hair for an hour. Those mic cables are funneled straight into an incinerator, just in case. None of that will ever see the light of day.

Yeah, I remember so talking about the big night out, I just do table setting on my own. I can say the first time I came to the United Kingdom as an adult, I visited here as a small kid. My mom's from here, but she left when she was a kid and never really planned to live here again. So I came here in 2017 and I picked a name of a place I recognized sort of that was on the tube line that would get me to the office of the company I was working for, because I was here for two weeks to work. So I stayed in Brixton and the first grocery store I went into was Iceland. The liquor section had bottles of cider for like two pounds for three liters of cider. Hell yeah. And then that first Saturday night, I saw people on a light. It wasn't white lightning,

it was something else. Something ice or something. Yeah, white stuff, perhaps. But I got off the tube one night after seeing some friends at Brixton Station and walked down Electric Avenue to get to where we were staying and just saw people just just fucked out of their minds at like one in the morning sitting, basically sitting on the pavement drinking or passing a three liter bottle of cider. And I was just sort of like, people take drinking and general weekend fun way more seriously and intensely here. And so... Because you're unlikely to get murdered while you're doing it. Yeah. It's true also, like they just don't have the same. In the US, you have the laws,

you know, against public drinking. There's a few exceptions here and there, but by and large, if you try to drink on the street, you'll get a ticket from the cops at best. And so whereas here, it's almost like anything goes unless they... The Magna Carta enshrines you're right to be a fucking legend and like dance on top of a bus shelter. The no drinking signs that are slapped down by local authorities because too many people are getting pissed on a particular street corner and people like Andy Know visits the UK and thinks it's Muslim no-go zones because they say you can't drink alcohol. I was like, no, no, no, what they mean is you can't drink alcohol on this corner. You can literally just walk down the

street with a fucking beer anywhere else and no one cares. There's a reason they have the sign. Like there was an incident. Yeah. There was some kind of tragic incident involving some guy drinking white lining, basically. I mean, that's pretty much what happens all around London, basically. Tragic incident with guys involving white lining. Yeah. I feel like at night time, it's like... In night time, London, people die because it's like a guy from Basildon who's on a huge night out who's had like eight pints of stellar and is like trying to do a cartwheel in the road and he's run over. And in the daytime, it's like someone who's like on their way to like a vegan cafe in Hackneywick who's like rollerblading down the middle of New Road in

Whitechapel and just gets run over. Well, there's scooters, there's electric scooters. I've actually... It's weirdly, I was actually... You're talking about drinking. I'm actually... I got commissioned by Vittles, you know, Jonathan Nunn. Oh, right. Yeah. He's like taking over the food, the food discussion. He's just taken over food. He's just taken over food. Yeah, he is now food in my head. He's like... Food and CJ Damui. He's got those two subjects cornered. And Michael Flatley, I think, was it? And Jamie Oliver's Twizzlers. But yeah, either way, he commissioned me... It's a Venn diagram. There's a lot of stuff going on. But yeah, he commissioned me to write actually about British attitude towards drinking. And I've

actually been speaking to some actual experts on British people... Oh, God. British drinking. And you're on the right podcast. I think the weird thing is, you mentioned about attitudes towards drinking and stuff. And I was chatting to this guy who's like some kind of, I guess, historian on alcohol or British attitudes towards alcohol or definitely some kind of British historian in terms of alcohol. And he was recommended to me by a prominent journalist who strictly covers drink, basically. And he was telling me... The weird thing he told me, which is kind of stuck in my head, is that basically Britain doesn't have... Britain's third room is the pub. But with every other culture, really, across the world, the third room,

i.e. not the kitchen, not the bedroom, is a restaurant or something else. And I feel like that's probably... That does really seem to drive a lot of our drinking culture. So I didn't mean to get like going too fit with like an intellectual discussion about drinking. No, it's straight away. I mean, it's good to bear that. I mean, to get that in perspective, because when you said that, I was thinking, what would the third room in America be? And I couldn't tell you. Yeah. What is that? The racism chamber.

The gun range. Yeah. Well, it's the thing, right? I mean, yeah, for a lot of people, it's kind of a more... The idea of having your neighborhood bar or your local or that kind of a thing is a thing that exists in America. But it's perhaps like a slightly more old-fashioned thing in the sense that it went through a period of time where the idea of going to the bar after work was... It's not really... It wasn't as widely practiced, I suppose, as it might have been in previous years. Also, America is just a much more Puritan country about alcohol. That's one thing I've noticed here that it strikes me that anytime I was working with external clients for podcast

producing or anything along those lines, I would invariably get invited to Thursday or Friday night drinks or something like that. And that's not uncommon in America, but it's just... It wasn't Thursday afternoon drinks, like in Britain. Thursday lunchtime. The Monday morning, whenever. It would have been weird if you... It struck me that it would have been weird if you were an employee of these places to not go to the pub with all of them. Yeah. I think drinking culture, it definitely is a thing where it's like,

you're either in or you're out. And actually, I have some friends who don't drink for whatever reason, religious or just generally don't drink. I think a lot of my mates have smashed it so hard in their 20s or their teens and their 20s, because we all started getting on it basically early teens, which I guess most people do. And then you basically get to your late 20s and 30s starts coming up like a big fucking neon flashing sign in your brain. And then you start to kind of be like, well, what the fuck am I doing? And a lot of people's reaction. I did. I took a year off everything, like no drugs, no drink, no anything, because my brain was just so fucked. And I was like actively damaging all my relationships just

by drinking too much. And I think it's a lot of people's reaction to that is actually just to do that. And I think the Puritan thing you mentioned about America is funny, because this historian, I was telling you, but I was trying to say, look, there's... I think it's Hogarth, who talks about gin alley. And that's a popular... Yeah, that's a popular kind of motif for British drinking, because it's ingrained in our culture. It's ingrained since back in the day. Look, you can see gin alleys, all this shit. And it's become ubiquitous with drink. Poor gin became like the official beverage of FBPE. And before it became gin o'clock, it was like 12 year olds getting hammered and then becoming prostitutes.

Yeah, because in the Hogarth illustration, it was like beer was the fancy, respectable drink in gin. It was like the buildings were crumbling and women were abandoning their babies. They're like having their babies. Exactly, abandoning their babies. That was a big picture. Why chapel? Why are we all right now? That's like gin central. So all that shit, yeah. And he was basically saying the reason why we think that is actually, I think it's again, it's a Puritan way of looking at it from an English point of view, because I think actually what happens is that our drinking culture, yeah, I think there was a new... There was a drink... There was a survey, the global drug survey recently that said that British

people have an attitude towards drink that isn't necessarily more... They don't drink more than other cultures, but what they do is they drink to excess more than other cultures. They black out. So they drink to black out, which I can obviously relate to because pretty much every time I fucking get pissed, I black out because I just don't know when to stop. And I feel like... But why we notice it more in Britain is because we have a more Puritan attitude towards it because I guess it's that whole attitude where January... I mean, it's obviously universal attitude, but in January, you know, gyms are over-subscribed because we had this kind of flagellation, like we had this self-flagellation

attitude where... I hate that time in the gym when you get the non-gym girls in there. And it's like, I can deal with the meatheads, but the people who are just in there like a lost deer. But they all just feel sad because they just feel sad because they're British and I feel there's a lot of thing where it's like, you feel sad because you're stuck in a sad... You should feel sad because you're British. But it's like, it's a weird thing where it's like, that's what it is. Essentially, what we do is we're punishing ourselves for having a good time. And I think that's ultimately what is... It's not the British culture. The British culture isn't inherently more of an alcoholic culture than any other. It's just that we're more of a

culture that demands punishment for having a good time. So all of that is inherent. And more punishment for your neighbor. Exactly. And the more you enjoy yourself, the more you punish yourself. And that's what he was basically saying is that actually, our attitude is drinking is not really much more different from any other country. It's just that we like to punish ourselves more for having a good time. And that's what it seems like in our media. Essentially, it's just shaming people for being drunk on the street. Or as you say, like shaming people for having a... Essentially, what we're doing is just having a good time with their mates. So I mean, all they're going to do

is just go in the fucking back home and eat a kebab and maybe be sick of themselves or maybe not. What's wrong with that? Being sick on yourself after a kebab? It's nothing more of an innocent pleasure, guilty pleasure, I'd say. You need to throw it in. It's a fucking kebab that you bought late at night. But so it's funny that you mentioned that because I just wanted to say that obviously, I've been reading and writing a lot about that topic specifically. And that was kind of what I found surprising was that actually, when you dig deep down into it, our culture really isn't that different from other people, other cultures across the world.

It's just that we have a more puritan attitude towards it, which I find that I think it's America and England really have that kind of same thing. And that's why we're they're both the biggest kind of like purveyors of the war on drugs as well. That's another kind of talk. Yeah. Although I will say that and I think this is very relevant to the concept of the big night out in general is that my experience here is that I don't necessarily think that Americans take drugs less than British people. I think that if you looked at figures and certainly like the booming fucking drug trade. They definitely take class A's less. They smoke more weed. You just take other drugs though, right? Europeans smoke more weed than Brits as well. I would just say

this though that British people that one of the things that was kind of shocking to me was that talking about taking drugs at all, but particularly class A drugs in America is such a taboo that like it's not really something you would do unless you're talking to people that you know really well or you're like meeting someone in the bar and they're like, Hey, we're going to do coke in the bathroom or something. Like it's not really an openly discussed thing. Whereas I've made this joke on this show before the listeners might recognize it, but like I've had a chat with one of my 60 year old neighbors, but she was talking about raving in the early nineties and taking fucking ecstasy. And I'm like this, this equivalent conversation would just not happen in America.

I do think that people are way more open about it here. When we first, the concierge in the building we were staying in in Brixton in 2017 literally was like, Oh yeah, Brixton's great. I mean, you got great bars, clubs, great drugs here. And I was just like, what the fuck? I wasn't offended, but that's just not like never in a million years would you get that from the concierge in a building in America? I remember like going to America, I went to LA in Vegas one time and I was like 18. So I couldn't do anything. Obviously I didn't have any hair even back then. So I was the one getting all the alcohol from all the shops and shit. But even back then, this man is too bald to be on the right. I was like, Hey, I'm British. So I sound like, you know,

established or whatever the fuck that means. And also I'm bald as well. There's no way you can fucking, you're like the queen to them. Yeah, exactly. I'm old. It's like James Bond, but like the bold version or whatever's coming in and being weird and bold. Anyway, yeah. So I need four, I need four packs of beer. No, but I remember buying some like flavoured champagne that was like $4 or whatever. And it was like the tastiest thing ever, but it was like 6% flavoured. It wasn't like American Lamborghini. Yeah. Essentially it was that and it was fucking delicious. And I never, I remember that taste to the day I die, but it was actually fucking give us the tasting notes. Well, it was like, there was one of the strawberry that was one that

was blue that tasted, you know, blue, sugary blue. Yeah, the WKD flavour. Yeah, essentially sugar, blue. It's right from the same fruit. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, when I was there, I expected, perhaps obviously kind of like that was, I was 18. So I literally just come off like a full kind of like two, three years of basically caning hard drugs in like the countryside where essentially you're just like anything you ask for from any party I'd go to would be like an illegal party. And anytime you'd ask anyone for drugs, it would be almost like, you know, they would either tell you where they are, or they would give you them there on the spot kind of thing. And then when I remember just going to America and being like, hey, if you've got any

like pingers or got any coke or whatever, they'd be like, what the fuck? And they'd be like, Why are you saying? Yeah, no, but there's, I mean, we are so many heads like to be fair. I believe I met Jason Statham. It was on the street and like, you know, it was like on the Vegas Strip or something. But like, remember this guy tried to sell me a ping for $60. I was like, What the fuck are you on about, man? But I mean, who's so angry? Me and my mate were like, What the fuck? The transporter is gonna kill me. I was like, genuinely offended. But he was like, Hey, dude, like that's just how it is out here, man. And I was like, okay, that's the difference for me is that like drugs, when we were getting pingers for like three pingers for a tenner,

you know, we were at that age. So when someone was saying, you know, $60 for one, I think that is the difference really in hard drugs in between the UK and America is that America really seems to go for the medical, the medication. Yeah. I mean, growing up in Indiana, that was the thing that people were taking like, yeah, go ahead, man. I know that there are people in my high school that like you did coke, but like it was really uncommon. Like obviously smoking weed was a thing, but like drug laws in Indiana are so strict that like, you know, my brother was facing a year in prison for getting caught with a gram of weed because it's so strict. Yeah. That's not a lot of weed.

Yes. It's so little. I mean, it's like pocket lint amount of weed. And, but yeah, like you were saying the drug that makes you want to like sit down and eat a pizza, maybe listen to Pink Floyd. Like it's so funny when they portray weed as like a socially destructive. When I mean like, obviously the reasons why there's, there's was the huge war on weed was like an entirely racist endeavor to like fuck with Mexicans, Native Americans and black people at various points in history, but like jazz cigarettes, you know, it is, which is a great name. I'm going to start calling it that, but in a positive way. But yeah, I mean, it's like, it's, it's, it's particularly funny with weed because like when people say about like cocaine or whatever, as much as I love

cocaine, I can be like, yeah, okay, you have got a point, but about weed is like, they're not going to fucking do anything. They're not going to start a fight with you. I think that is the, I think the weed is the clear, is the clearest, there's the clearest kind of indication that the war on drugs is purely ideological and not logical or not factual in any way is that, is the, is the idea about weed and the prison sentences and all that stuff. It's like, you're literally half of the country is getting it for medicinal purposes and half the country is getting locked up for like fucking having an ape for them or whatever or like having a smoking or like a spliff. And obviously I think for me,

while I live around in Tampa Lane and like Wood Green and stuff, there's just like, it just fucking beefs with weed like 24 seven, like people just smoking. It's just weed. I don't smoke anymore. I gave up when I was like, 21, 22, because the hard drugs kicked in and the paranoia from weed was just too much to handle basically. But I do like edibles every now and then and that's, that's just a great phrase. It's like, I gave up weed man. I got more into hard drugs. I don't fuck with that shit anymore. I mean, obviously you can do coke to a level where it would make you paranoid. But for me, I think recreationally or funk or functionally, you know, you're, if you do it on the weekend, you're never going to get to that level. But

with weed, it's like, I was smoking it pretty much consistently every day from like 16 until 20, 22, 21. And it fucked my brain up to the point where it's like, maybe teenagers shouldn't be doing this when their brain is still developing. But yeah, I mean, like, it's weird because as you say, it's so functionally, it makes you, when is everyone like, I bet you the deaths from weed must be like negligible. The obviously the psychological damage might be something like you can't die from it, right? Right. So that's the clearly the biggest ideological thing where it's like the war on weed just is like, come on now. And you can read it in Russia. He's like a huge stoner who had this amazing bit about spice where he got up on stage and you'll be like,

I've been hit by a car twice in my life. And I've also smoked spice twice in my life. These two things are unrelated. You cannot be hit by a car when you are on spice. You cannot leave the house when you are on spice. You can only lie on the ground. The most that could happen is perhaps car could drive over you, but you could not really be hit by car. I'll tell you, man, one of the things that used to make me laugh so much about this when I was in the army was that because weed stays in your system so long, it's the hardest drug to get away with. So like, unless you're you're on leave for a really long time, you're really taking a risk because they do it in prison too. Prisoners go off weed and like on to like Coke and heroin because they

get drug tested. Well, I was going to say spices. That was the thing that was because I mean, my soldiers, the drugs they were getting caught for the most were Coke and Ecstasy, but that's just because they were doing them a lot because it stays, it gets out of your system so quickly that like a week or basically, yeah, I mean, I had a soldier who literally pissed hot and because he'd done Coke that morning, like under normal circumstances, if you did it on the weekend, you'd probably be out of your system by Monday system that quick. It's mad how quick it is. Yeah. Whereas weed, like a completely benign drug. I mean, obviously it's got issues, but they do much drug testing and vice. Yeah. I mean, I remember Nate

actually fucking sorry, sorry. I grasped that fucking guy up about it, but he was trying to be more honest. Yeah. Like I think it is. Yeah. Look, look, look, I was just going to go out in public or whatever. Like, but look, it's on the Patreon. It's Max daily. Yeah. Like he's like, he's like an idol of mine in terms of his reporting and journalism. Like he's one of the best fucking journalists. I know in terms of he's reporting on drugs is one of the tightest, fucking most well researched. Like his opinions on shit. I respect more than anyone. Obviously, you know, like I still recreationally take quite a lot of drugs and like I still like I'm very interested in drug culture and like Max daily for me is like a fucking, he's like a fucking like

he's like Jesus in terms of reporting on drugs. But his opinions suck. His opinions have got so and I don't understand how, where has come from? Like he's doing these like centrist dad style things. And it's like, it's weird because he I've never known a writer that I love so much and I respect actually so much his writing on like a personal and like intellectual level, but also disagree with his politics or where his politics seem to be heading. So like, you know, so vehemently basically, and that's that's how I feel about him. I was just going to throw this in there because you know, talking about the difference between the US and the UK. I mean, like, yeah, everyone I know growing up, like I knew basically no one who ever did coke and

ecstasy same like it when I got to college, like I knew some people who could get it if you wanted, but it was rare. Like I imagine if I got you could go to college, like on the West Coast or on the East Coast, maybe you would see more of it. But I mean, mostly it was people taking, taking like Vicodin like their parents like it and like, I mean, I remember getting a root canal and getting like 120 pills or something. I've got so much Vicodin. Like I could have taken it basically to like two a day for 30 days or something like or how it like to basically enough in that bottle and then you had like three refills you were authorized. It's just a painkiller. So it just a painkiller. Yeah. Yeah. But it's an opiate painkiller, but you can crush it up and snort it

and it's it's like snorting heroin. Okay. And it's and it's a dose too. Like it's all measured. So I mean, it's actually they go for it's more expensive to get pills like Vicodin or Percocet on the street in America than it is to get heroin because like, you know, if you're getting an actual pill, then you know how much you're taking like it's a clean supply. It's not been adulterated. And so it's like, yeah, the opiate thing with the fact that the opiate epidemic happened in America didn't really come as a surprise to me. I guess like it's grim, but so much of like Midwest drug culture is around drinking way too much, taking smoking way too much weed. And then oftentimes if you're doing anything harder, it's not coke. It's not MDMA. It's taking opiate pills. And so

like when you were saying about like having to go off weed because like it was messing with your brain, I was just laughing to myself. I'm like, I don't really have a problem with the paranoia now, but it's also like, yeah, because I smoke like a tiny little bowl and I'm good. Whereas in high school, it's like, man, why am I so fucked up off this weed? It's like, I'm wondering if it had anything to do with the fact that we did a two bowl rotation with four people in the back of a car for an hour. Just like, you know, blunts, like blunts on rotation, blunts on rotation and bongs. So that's a funny way to mix up doing a ball and then blunt and then blunts and then The illest I've ever been after drugs has always been when I've been on like hard drugs all night

and then at the end of the night, someone's been like, do you want to hit this fong? And then like, oh, that's always more like, yeah, no, fuck that, fuck that. The worst spin outs, the worst white ease, the worst everything has always been when someone gives you a split, like the worst, the most inappropriate moment, you always think, oh, yeah, that'd be nice. That'd be really, that should be really comforting to smoke a split right now when my stomach is already churning from all the weird shit that I fucking put in it. I just remember, I mean, I've never had that experience because like I said, my experience with stuff is limited besides weed. But I do remember having a great idea back in like,

because once again, unhealthy drinking culture is the same and especially where I'm from in the Midwest, I think you can see a similarity in terms of like, when people go out, they go out hard. I remember being, you know, going with friends and just drinking way, way, way too much Jack, you know, Jack Daniels and beer and then someone like, oh, yeah, we've got a black and mild and just me trying to smoke a black and mild like a regular cigarette and just coughing my lungs up and then immediately getting sick because like, it's like a cigar, you know, so mad. Sizzler or chili house and just like fucking going hog on the buffet after four blocks. But I guess the thing for me is I'm wondering like, so one of the things that I've seen a lot of

on social media here, both from England for from the UK and from Ireland, you'll see these videos are like sesh videos. And it's like someone filming themselves and their friends at like 11 in the morning, and they've been going all night and they're just everyone is like tottering fucking falling over completely blackout. It's not just alcohol, it's catamine, it's coke and stuff like that. And it struck me that that kind of idea of the sesh is something that doesn't, I just have never experienced it in America. Maybe it exists. I don't know. Like, I've had plenty of times I've gone out with friends where like we've, you know, we're like, when I was younger, when it would be like, you know, drink 14 beers over the course of a night

and do shots and maybe smoke weed and get really sick, that kind of a thing. That was common. But I just, it feels like that, that idea of being like fucked into multiple days, not because you're hungover, but because you're still taking shit seems way more common here. And well, it's definitely more European than it is American. Like having lived in Russia, they do it a lot there too, that like just pushing through to the next day. Well, it's the 48 hour. I mean, literally Burkina has it where the club is open for 48 hours. So you can stay in there for 48 hours. But like in terms of the sesh thing, I mean, there's been a massive, there's been a massive push for it recently in terms of not push for it,

but there's been a massive like explosion in all these kind of like piss takey sesh, like kind of like meme pages, like Ketflix and pills and all these kind of things where it's like tag your mate who likes to do a line of coke or like doing funny things about very cynical, like social media manager shit. They want to sell fucking t-shirts or heat lamps or whatever. Ketflix and pills are already selling like K spoons or like drug spoon necklaces. I mean, they're already in on that vibe. But like the sesh for me is like, it's weird because it was, it was, I never really like, the weird thing is, is that essentially every fucking crew thinks they're the most unique crew in London and there's or in fucking wherever they are.

Like I've had crew in Suffolk that we all got on it together, like going to these illegal raves in the forest and shit. Exactly. Stratty boys, big up the Stratty boys. And the laxville boys as well. It's all just boys. Literally everyone in Suffolk was just the village name and boys. It's like Stratty boys, laxville boys. Big up the hip switch boys. I've seen ads at bus stops for like sesh crews being like, hey, we're having a cooking contest and it's everything about the flyers, like coke jokes and stuff like that. And that just, as an American, you can imagine, that's like, I don't know, that's like walking into the grocery store and everyone is naked for some reason. Like it's just completely fucking bananas to me.

I feel like that shit, what it is, is that it's funny that you're saying that because like, for me, actually, obviously the casino, there's been a huge clamp down in, you know, civil liberties and all this shit. I mean, obviously just recently with the police crack down bill, all this shit that is happening more and more and more. Obviously the Tories have been in power for fucking the last like decade and a bit. So it's only getting more authoritarian, but weirdly, the drug culture is so ubiquitous in the UK. But I don't know why it is. I think it's one of them things, as I said, because every single crew is a microcosm in itself, where it's like, you all think you're the only ones doing this. Like I have about, I have a crew of about like 30,

40 people I know in London and we all kind of went to the same unis and like, went to the same raves, we went to fabric when we were younger, all like went to drum and bass nights, like a lot of this stuff. That's how we all met. And we all, you're all in the GIBO group chat. Yeah. We all basically grew up by getting on it and going to raves and shit. And we all thought we were the only ones that went for 48 hours. We all thought we were the only ones that were like doing these after parties where we'd be listening to like fucking drum and bass mixes for like fucking, you know, hours and hours and hours. But really, the whole the fucking new UK is doing that. Like every single fucking man and their dog

and or they're not like, I don't know, because that's how it feels to us. Like when I look around, when I do like drugs, jokes on Twitter or whatever, like I get people DM'ing me being like, Oh my God, I wish I could say that out loud. But it's like, what I don't, obviously, I mean, there's people stopping you. People's jobs, obviously are in and like people's jobs are kind of dependent on it. And the thing is like in America, that's a real thing. But like here, you really can't. You really can't. People think they can because they hear about it happening in America. But like here, like a, everyone's doing it. That's something like no one gives a fuck. Like literally, the most high grade jobs I've had, like with sales and stuff, when I was

earning like a decent like fucking salary just from doing sales and getting commissions and shit, all the fucking managers were on coke. There was this one guy, yeah, I'll never fucking forget him. My last sales job, he was a sales manager. And he used to go to the toilet and then come out and start going, and start singing the fucking Lord of the Rings theme tune every fucking time. It's like, when you go to the fucking toilet and come out singing the Lord of the Rings theme tune, everyone knows you've been doing coke. That's how, that's how you know it's a very simple way of figuring out. It's a very simple way of figuring out you've been doing coke. I mean, it's like, if that's what I'm saying, even the people in our positions of power, like

I've been, I've done coke recreationally, do you know what I mean? Like Joe Biden hasn't been fucking doing chop. He probably has, but he's not been open about it. Like Michael Gove has or Boris Johnson and Boris Johnson. So I mean, it's ingrained. Michael Gove's got an excuse for that nose. I mean, yeah. I worked like a white collar job in New York for a while. And yeah, I mean, people weren't open about it at all. And you absolutely could get fired if you were stupid enough to admit it. But everybody knew it. I mean, like so many people would take, I mean, not just recreational drugs, I mean, people would take stuff like Adderall or Vyvance or whatever, like ADHD drugs, you know, having gotten a prescription somehow, but people obviously,

like people did coke, there's so much drinking. There was a lot of like going out drinking and then doing coke to kill the hangover the next day and stuff and then coming, coming to work, like that kind of shit was happening. And I mean, for me, because coming from the army, where I mean, it's just, forgive me for being a fucking boy scout, but like, I never saw that shit because if it's just one of those things where the stakes were so high that if you were into that subculture, like that was a thing that you could never tell anyone, you had to be like super vetted. And so it's been weird here because I did see that in New York a little. I mean, you go out like, you know, you go out in Manhattan, you go in like East Village or something on a

Saturday night and like, you'll see couples, like people going into the bathroom together and they're not fucking like it's people doing coke in the bathrooms and shit. But here, I mean, I one time was going to go take a piss at fucking Nando's at like 6pm on a Thursday night and dudes were doing coke and a fucking stall. And I was just like, it's a Nando's and it's a Thursday. Like man, what the? That's really cheeky. That got me. I was like, I was like, man, people really love cocaine in this country. And here's an important thing. Those people were not from London, right? You're doing cocaine in a Nando's toilet at 6pm on a Thursday. You are on a big night out from the home country. Well, that's the thing that does take the central

line. And now there's going to be the Elizabethan line or whatever the queen line. Yeah, the cross rail. That's going to be a queen line. I'm calling it that now. Whatever the fucking this named after her wherever it's all the fucking Elizabeth line is the technical. The Elizabethan line would be great. I'm like, everyone's in a rough like a big, big blooming trousers. Yeah, I didn't think about it. I hadn't even thought of that. But yeah, like that's going to only increase the amount of heads like doing coke in Nando's on a 6pm on a fucking Thursday night. They're going to import them because this this transitions me to something that's in my notes, right? I mean, the notes are pretty loose because Riley's not on this episode.

And long may it continue. A lot of Riley slander. I've noticed already, man. Look, we love Riley. The thing is that what Riley does on Trash Future, no one else could do. But also sometimes when they let us loose into the real chaos mode, that's when that that's when the good shit happens. You know, it's just sometimes when the cats away, the mice will have an unstructured. Where is he? Where is Riley? He's still. Oh, yeah. No, he's just this is just this format. No, thank God. This this format is just something it's just that me and Nate do. Riley's been on it a couple of times, but this is this is mine and Nate's little little baby. It was like a lockdown fantasy, right? Myla came up with the

idea of what if we did an episode where he explained particularly niche British stuff to me. Oh, okay. People really want to carry on films. I've made him watch Only Fools and Horses. We've talked about Dave Cortney privilege that I'm on here explaining why people or why British people are so weird about getting on it. Yeah. So well, I definitely I definitely feel like the big night out is a concept that we have an equivalent sort of, but there's something unique about it. So I think there really is like so a story I think I've told on the podcast before, but I don't think I've told on Britannology before. And I think it really it really speaks to Nate's thing about people doing coke in the Nando's toilets is I have once in my life,

one brackets, one time been to the infamous nightclub in Clapham Inferno's. Yeah, same as only once. Yes, just just once. Usually once for most people. It's like heroin. You do it once and you're either like, okay, never again or you're like, it ruins your life. That was delicious. But you know what? No, I'm too sensible for this. And yeah, I have like, and I think this is a common experience, I have like one mate who's much lazier than my other mates. He's like the laziest person I can tolerate. And he lives in Clapham and he loves going to Inferno's with like his mates who aren't my mates who I hate. Like who are all like, oh, yeah, jaunty, yeah, let's fucking smash it like those guys. And I

like, no, one night we're really hammered. All of our other mates have gone home. And he's like, well, the only place we can go is Inferno's. And I'm like, absolutely not. And in the end, he convinces me that we have to go to Inferno's. We're going to pay fucking 10 quid to get into Inferno's. Yeah, it's already already on the back foot. And I'm like, yeah, I'm walking into this is every nightclub that I went to at Cambridge University. It's five quid more to get in. It just feels like an extension of the student uni vibe. But they're just that's that's the appeal. Yeah. And then immediately I walked in there. I'm like, oh, okay, I see there are two great, there are two genders in Inferno's and they're not male and female. The two genders of Inferno's

are people I hated at Cambridge and people I hated at school in Essex. Those are the two. Like it's like guys called jaunty and guys called Baz like and just the fucking words. So he my mate wasted like disappears off on one. So I'm like, right, I'm going to have a piss and regroup going to the toilets. I'm at a urinal guy comes up next to me is pissing at the URL next to me and he leans over and he's like, oh, mate, I've got to say this without doubt the best night out in the South East. And I'm like, I'm just going to ignore this. I'm not going to engage. And then he leans in again and he's like the standard of the birds in here is outrageous. And then it is outrageous because they're all fucking, I mean, they're all fucking butters to

be fair. But I mean, I feel bad because it's like, I should have taken a hard stance on the women of Inferno's. I've got my own fucking experiences. The last time I went to Inferno's, I literally hadn't slept because I'd been in up with my mate and fabric. And I literally just been caning it. And we just rolled through. That's an interesting fucking wine tasting pairing. Well, yeah, exactly. So we rolled through basically fabric is like the cool nightclub in London. It's like the kind of it's like the tourist one that all the people go to as the London. So it's the one you have to go to to tick that off the list or whatever. And that was the one I used to go to like a lot when I was in my 20s or whatever, my early 20s. And look, that was kind of at my teen leans as

well, teens, my teens as well. Like, that's kind of where I grew up listening drum and bass. Anyway, we went to some night there, me and my mate, I just got on it. And then we just basically cracked on it is flat. His sister's flat. And just we're getting on it all day, drinking, Stella's, da, da, da, da. And then it gets to about six or seven p.m. And it's in the summer. So it's not dark. And our mate is in Clapham. And he's these birds that he's been chatting up since we went on a lads holiday in Croatia. And there's there's there's almost so many layers here. Now remind me of the time you came into our office one time and you've been on like a big weekend in Albania. Oh, yeah, yeah, fucking hell. That was just so fucked up. We just

got back from Albania. And I'm like that as a sentence. And Albania was really bad as well. But I mean, oh, yeah, I know Julie, but it was it was anyway. So we were we just come back from this holiday from Croatia like lads holiday. And these birds are like these Australian birds who like lived in Clapham that most Australians seem to do for some reason. And like they he was like chatting them up for for yonks. And they weren't interested in them at all. Like he but he was just on it anyway. So then we all went to Clapham. This fucking drone guy out of his mind. He lived in Kent as well. Let's put that on the record. So I'm saying it's okay. All the pieces are starting to put come together now. You were mates with the same because of our name. So anyway, we went to

this fucking night. I hadn't slept still. First thing that happens. Yeah, we didn't even get to a gaff. We just went straight to the fucking infernos. Clapham High Street, wherever the dude who's invited us there who's trying to pull these Australian birds just hands us a bottle of that the cheapest fucking tequila he can is like, drink this lads. What do you mean fucking drink this is like a bottle of tequila. Anyway, we drank we drank the fucking bottle of tequila just straight just doing shots of tequila outside on Clapham High Street. Then we walked into infernos. Everyone else because I'm not really used to like the student nightclubs when I was in uni, I didn't really go to that oceanals or all that shit. I did went there like once or twice in

freshies, but then I was kind of doing like, Niki dance music shit. So I wasn't really into that stuff. I mean, like, but so then when I fucking got in there, all these lads were like fucking, you know, them that meme with the fighter pilots when they go forever. And they all just like might make my best mate pulled that I was that I was up all night with instantly went for some like 40 year old bird that all the other guys with all these pals, they all just went and like stuck to them. I was like shit. And then suddenly I was just in the middle of a dance floor listening to Kings and Leon sex on fire or whatever. I was like, what the fuck am I here on a Saturday night listening to sex on fire? And then my other mate, the soundtrack at which to pull a mill.

I mean, it's horrible. And then anyway, with my other mates just got in a massive fight, they just started fighting each other. We found them later on the night and they just literally beat him up. Like they just have beating each other up like fully on the dance floor, like exchanging blows like it was a Rocky film, like elbows punches and they and then they just left him on the floor. He was like bleeding. Anyway, that was my phone. That's a bit darker than mine. I mean, it was just lads doing lads, but obviously everyone gets so drunk to the point where it's like, yeah, your most carnal desires seem to kind of like come out. And one of them was pulling a mule from the other one was beating each other up viciously. Let's put a pit in that

for a sec because we will come back to that. Because yeah, I mean, so what happened is the guy leans in and he's like, yeah, the standard of the birds in here is outrageous. And then I'm like, okay, so I'm going to say something to this. So I just lean in and I go, well, maybe you should make an official complaint. He's far too out of it to respond to that in any way. But as I'm saying this, another bloke walks into the toilet and he crosses behind us and he's like going into the cubicle to like take a shit presumably or do coke or something. And the guy goes like, oh, mate, got any Charlie. And as he's doing this turns around to face him, but doesn't like forgets that he's still pissing. So he's just like pissing into the middle of the floor while

asking for cocaine. And I think there's never been a more like guy from Kent on a big night out in London energy. Yeah, that's to be fair. I mean, that's pretty much just as bad. I mean, they're all bad. You can't really have a good night in a phone. That's the thing is in you can't unless you're like, I've heard, I've heard, uh, I've heard people talk about, uh, this place birthdays that's closed down in Dalston that used to be there. Like I get sick. Yeah, I would get the impression that places like that, you could avoid all that bullshit witnesses in there. But otherwise great club. It was decent in there, man. They had really good, uh, grime nights and like, uh, dance music stuff and live music down in the basement. Yeah. Cause I mean, like the

impression that I've gotten is that some of the, the, there's, there's clubs that don't seem to stick around very long here that are, uh, that are like very well received. And then there's places like Inferno's, which will probably or Tiger Tiger will never go away because they're just too popular for the big night out from outside London. That's a really good point. That's something else I've got in the notes, which I feel like Tom, you'll have something to say about, which is I feel like, I like, I mean, the cards on the table, I am not like a hugely cool guy. I'm not like, I'm not one of these guys who like, yeah, I was going to rave when I was 12 or whatever. Yeah. There's no need to be that fucking sarcastic about it. Like, look, when I was 12, I had a lot of

respect for my parents. It's clear that some of you didn't and it shows. I had a lot of respect for my mom, but I hated my dad. So I used that energy to now dress like a goth as you, that's what I'm dressed like. Absolutely. Yeah. You dress a bit like, I've been, I've been getting into breaking bad recently. You're dressed a lot like 2009, Jesse Pinkman. That's the, that's the vibe I was going for. Exactly. It will sell you. Because you guys will tell stories about like, yeah, yeah, you know, I was drinking and doing rave shit, like illegal raves and house parties when I was 14. I'm like, the first time I got drunk, I was sitting in the bed of a truck drinking the shittiest tequila you can possibly imagine,

that my brother had gotten from a coworker at like a computer store in fucking this town in Indiana we lived in. Like, none of this shit existed. Like, yeah. The fact that you guys can't drink till 21, I think makes a, makes a real difference. Cause when I went to, when I went to LA when I was 18 and did all that shit, then I couldn't believe the fact that we were like drinking and doing all this wild stuff. And we took it for granted. We all thought they were like, we all thought they were basically like, kind of like wet as fuck. Cause we were like, you guys aren't drinking like you're 18. And like, they were like, but the thing is, is that like, it's just a different culture. I mean, but, but in the UK,

the cops want to fuck with you and you're drinking underage. That's no reason. Well, we, we, we actually got, we went up to the Hollywood sign or near the Hollywood sign. And we were just smoking weed. And one of the dudes who was like coming up there, because everyone drives four by fours, even if they were like, you guys start driving four by fours when you're 12. We fucking, we fucking, we started doing, we started drinking by the Basildon sign. Yeah, exactly. We're drinking and like whiting on like straight Glen's vodka at 12 and you guys are like driving. I was kind of a 19 teenager, but I was still drinking at 13. Cause that was like

all there was to do. Exactly. There is all that is. There is, you go to like parties at your mate's houses and their parents buy you alcohol. Like it's not like we were like huge rebels where we're like, oh yeah, like illegally. But it's like, no, people's parents were fucking buying it, buying you a hooch and all this alco pops and shit. But yeah, it was for a note. Shipped the police TVX. Yeah. Like the police came up to us because they named some neighborhood watch was taking place in that area. And they saw the guy driving his blacked out fucking like Land Rover or whatever the fuck big fuck off truck coming up. And they all, they fucking pointed the shotgun at us. We were just smoking a tutor, smoking a bomb.

We called it tutor in Suffolk. Just smoking a bomb. And I can just imagine how Americans reacted to that. Oh man. Have you got the tutor? We're like, yeah, we want to hit the tutor. Give me those tutor tarts. We got all drop smoking. Yeah. I want to hit the tutor. Okay. A lot of people are talking about this thing called the tutor. It's beautiful. Okay. You smoke it. You feel great. A lot of people in the democratic party. They'll tell you. They don't want it too, folks. They don't want it too. They won't do it. They're scared of the tutor, but I do it more and more actually. Oh man. Well, that is a really good impression. I'm getting him in before he becomes irrelevant. Anyway, yes. And the guy was like pointing a fucking gun at us. We were like,

what the fuck? I'm like 18, man. We're just smoking a tutor. And it was like, it was, it was weird, man. It was weird as fuck. But then obviously the girl who was from LA was like, who we were going to see was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, there was like calming it down and saying whatever. But just the idea that the idea of us just smoking weed was immediately his reaction was like, pull a gun on them. It's like, fucking hell, man. Obviously nothing happened. Yeah. All he did was just confiscate the fucking bong and like, that's it. But that was like the reaction, the difference. Cause you know, in England, if they found you smoking weed, boy mate, it's a tutor. Yeah. And he's like, well, that's okay then. Yeah. But in England,

they wouldn't even kind of British heritage item. I don't even know what this weed smells like. They wouldn't even know what to do if you probably use for pedophilia or something. I mean, like that, that's the thing I point out. Like, yeah, I had a friend who like a week after his 18th birthday was facing a shitload of jail time because they jumped the fence to a neighborhood pool and were just like drinking and smoking weed. They got arrested, they ran, but they got caught. And he got hit with like furnishing alcohol to miners and like a bunch of counts of possession. And so he was 18 years old, like one week facing like a potential felony in five years in prison. And he managed to get off it by doing a ton of court management.

He had to be going to fucking Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous by court order for two years as an 18 year old because of that. That's what I'm saying. But that's just normal behavior in the UK. That really is. It's just normal behavior. Like we're an adult. So kind of not in, not in any unsignificant way encouraging it. Like you're allowed to have a pint with your meal in a pub at like 13 or something or 14 or 16. If an adult pays for it. Yeah. So as is discussed in hit, British sitcom, The In-Betweeners. So they love it. I mean, we love it. We love it. And I think it's a part of our culture. As I said, it's the third room where it's like we don't have Italian people or French

people would go to a restaurant and they'd be eating a meal for like six or seven hours or whatever. And they'd be drinking all types of shit with that meal and they'd be having a good time. But they wouldn't really be getting pissed. Black face. Like there would be a lot of other things going on, not just drinking. Yeah. So, but then they, you know, that would be their going out experience. Obviously, they'd go out probably afterwards, but they wouldn't be just literally like, okay, so what we're going to do is get the cheapest drink we can get from the supermarket, then we'll go to a pub, the cheapest pub we can get to so we can get even more cheap drinks. And then we're going to go to a nightclub and try and get all the nightclub deals for

cheap drinks there. And it's like, all of our stuff is geared around doing the cheapest and most efficient way of getting absolutely back out drunk. And that's basically it really. I mean, there's a bit in Joel Goldby's book where he talks about there being a nightclub in Chesterfield where like for one summer, they did a thing where you could pay 10 quid to get in and the drinks were free all night and that they had to ban it so quickly because like they just forgot that they were in Britain. And people were like, this is cheaper than drinking at home. Yeah. I remember in Nottingham, there was a bar that had triples for triples with three quid where it was like a pound a shot or triples for three quid. And it was like, that is

just should be illegal. Like you should legally not be allowed to serve alcohol to me in that capacity. Because in Britain, you're not allowed to serve more than a triple. And I remember there was a nightclub in Durham infamously, it was supposed to be the worst nightclub in Europe called Clute that sold what they call the Quadi Voddy, which was a vodka and coke with three shots of vodka in it. And then they gave you a vodka shot on the side. And then you had to pour it in yourself because they weren't allowed to sell you a quad shot vodka as well, man. Vodka is the devil, I think. There's a lot of spirits that are the devil, but that literally is the devil. I mean, lived in Russia, I find it to be like it tastes horrible. Cards on the table, disgusting.

But if you only drink vodka all night, the hangover is quite manageable, even if you get like rinsing the hammers. Yeah. But I mean, I'm not really that kind of guy that I can have disappear. You like a hangover famously. Well, yeah. Let me put my cards on the table and say, yes, I do love hangovers in the right environment, which is always the parenthesis that no one ever really seems to apply. But yeah. It's all about the nuances. With the work of Tom Usher, you've got to be aware of the canon, the broader context. I remember there was this thing where Anthony Bourdain said that his tried and true hangover cure was a Coca-Cola with real sugar, some kind of spicy meal and a joint.

And I was like, yeah, that probably would cure a hangover, but that makes you feel good no matter what. Like it's not as if that's some fucking magic pill you can take. I just, I don't know, man. Like when I hear the stories, like I feel that there's definitely some crossover, but I also feel like because policing and attitudes are so much more authoritarian in the U.S., like it can go bad so fast. Like you were saying, getting a shotgun pointed at you in Hollywood or yeah, like my buddy getting rolled up by the cops or like just always, you know, house parties getting busted up by the cops and shit. Like that happens so much. I mean, it used to happen to me all the time in college, going to places like everyone would just have

to run because the cops showed up. And it feels like there's a little more, what's the right word here? Like you can kind of go overboard here and chances are good. It's not going to fucking ruin the rest of your life. Britain is a low stakes country. Yeah, definitely low stakes. You're very unlikely to get arrested or shot by the cops or even beaten up by the cops. Like, and if you do get arrested, it's likely to end in nothing. Like you're likely to just get let go and be like, Oh, well, don't do that again. Like, you know, I've been arrested a couple of times just and they've all been drunk and disorderly type ones where it's like, first one, I was basically pissed outside some kind of like local like town

thing in Suffolk. And I was just like, the police basically tried to arrest me. And I was like 16 and I just started running around the car park outside this like stupid like festival. And they just tried chasing me like four of them. And then eventually they obviously caught me, just chucked me in a van and put me in a cell. I was fucking 16. I didn't even know what the fuck I was doing. I mean, I was just pissed. But it's like, that's the kind of thing where it's like, there is this, I mean, obviously we are heading towards like a worrying authoritarian state. But they're probably by and large, like when it comes to pissed dudes, because there is so many pissed dudes, they really are just like have a lot more relaxed attitude towards where it's

just like, chuck this guy in the cell. And he probably won't want to do that again for a while. Like I have two experiences where I've been fucked and chucked in a cell. And it really did just like, you know what? I really can't be honest with that ever again. Like I tried to stop some police getting into a party that my mates were running in Sheffield. And they ended up fucking chucking me in some, they ended up driving me two hours outside Sheffield to Barnsley and putting me in a cell in Barnsley. And then just kicking me out. They didn't, they didn't even want to charge me nothing. They didn't even, they wouldn't even talk to me. They said nothing to me all day, all night, all night, sorry, let me out in the morning. I just got the tram back from Barnsley

into Sheffield. They weren't even interested. All they're interested in doing is basically just saying, shut the fuck up for the night. And they put the rest of my mates in thing and they charged them because they were actually holding the party. But I think a lot of English policing and just, it's kind of like a manly kind of one-upmanship where it's like, all right, you want to be a dickhead? Well, all right, well, I'm going to fucking be the real dickhead here. I'm going to send you to Barnsley and we'll see who's laughing. Is that what I'm saying? And when I came out of that, I was like, oh, fuck this man. I mean, I was in, Milo and I were doing a video shoot for a client in Liverpool and it was the day of a match. And I saw at like 7.30 pm, some guys who

were completely blackout getting a fight and like they were, they looked like they were fucking dry humping each other because they were so drunk. They couldn't really fight. The fight obviously went to the ground. The cops came running, they screamed at them. They like slammed a guy against the wall and then what I could tell, they just let them go. Yeah. Which in the US, they all go to jail. Why would you need to do anything else? That's the thing for me. It's like, for junk and disorderly dudes, chuck them in a cell until they sober up or fucking just tell you, look, fuck off. That's it. You don't need to tell all this other shit or be clamping down. It's just so well to me how much more authoritarian the US is in that regard. And that's why I think

this culture of like being doing this and there's like sort of like an age structured thing where like it's just sort of expected you do it is way more common here. Yeah. No, I think that's very true. Like kind of pulling us back to something I've got in the notes, which I think is interesting because we were kind of touching on like shitty places to go on a night out. And I think there's a really like noticeable phenomenon, I think of the fact that in London and I think across the country, but it's particularly noticeable in London, like kind of anywhere that's good to go for a night out. And I noticed this actually even in Moscow as well, like anywhere that you really like, inevitably disappears quite quickly and gets replaced with somewhere shit. But there's

like a chain or like a kind of and you sort of see that that I think there's a gradual erosion. I mean, there have been many attempts to get rid of fabric over the years. Yeah. And and like, but the ever increasing encroachment of like all bar one and like ball pit bars or like crazy golf with cocktails or adult kind of a child defecation, if that's even a fucking word where it's like making treating adults like they want to have like retro childish experiences. And really, I just want to have a decent club that has a nice system and a one red light over it and just like hug strangers in the smoking area. I just I just laughing because the one of my favorite probably my favorite bar ever was this place called Heather's in the East Village in Manhattan.

That was probably I think was on like 11th street between I think Avenue A and Avenue B. And it got closed down because the neighbors, even though they were super strict about like don't make noise outside while you're smoking and stuff like and people were pretty good about following it, the neighbors complained so much they wound up getting it closed down. Whereas two blocks over I think on 1st Avenue is literally a Tyler Durden from Fight Club themed bar that basically looks like a big all bar one called Durden and it's been open the whole time. And I'm just like, I would rather I would rather fucking go live in a cave and never talk to humans again than go to that bar and it's still around. But this really, really chill

last place. Yep, gone, gone forever. The thing about that bar is when you go in there, you are Tyler Durden. They don't tell you that before you go. Yeah, I remember that happened to me in Moscow where there was a bar that we all really loved that was like one of those like real fucking character faces is called Mayak, which is like the lighthouse. And it was a cafe that used to be the like in the Soviet Union, it was like the workers cafe who worked in the theater, which is underneath it. And inside it looks like it feels like, you know, like scenes when like, like GIs are in Paris in World War Two and they go to like a restaurant and it's all like wooden tables and like that kind of shit. It felt like that inside there was a piano in there.

And if you went there, it was like a restaurant in the day, but if you went there on Friday or Saturday night, they would sort of clear all the tables away and everyone would just be basically the only drink they really sold was like wine beer or vodka. Everyone's on vodka and cherry juice. That was like the house drink. And it would be like half like kind of young sort of like 20 something like media types, like kind of like people who are like journalists, artists, whatever, like those kind of people or like aging hippies. Everyone's absolutely hammered. There's like, they're playing like pop from the 90s, like Russian pop or like old shit, like John Lennon stuff or whatever. Sounds banging to me. Yeah, it's it. And then all

of a sudden he likes something really rogue, like almost every time you are there once a night, they throw in like Havana Gila or something just don't really like rogue like that. At some point, some like hammered Russian guy would start playing the piano. And like this place was absolutely wild. The toilets got to climb through a wardrobe to get in there. But it like it wasn't some confected shawditch like, oh, it's the speakers. It was like a real like fucked up place. And they got rid of it. Whereas like there was a shit bar called like Simochov, which was always full of like oligarchs girlfriends. And it was all like neon lights in there. And they had like gold AK 47s on the wall and like Liechtenstein prints. And it's still open. I just think like,

yeah, fuck, it's just it's been like that all over London really. I mean, I wrote something about how London's nightlife basically is, it's not disappearing in the, it's not just disappearing in a traditional sense or any kind of sense. It's just basically going out into the outer zones. And I think you can kind of see that by, as you say, like Dulston basically becoming once, once being a hotspot for nightlife in terms of the alibi, the nest, birthdays, all these places that were like unique original places to go and have a different experience in each one. And they were all interesting, exciting, not exciting. I mean, they weren't always a fucking exciting, you know, still visions, for example,

that was an exciting place to go to when you'd always like, but one time I was out walking along the road and they shut the police shut the whole fucking road off because, because, because they thought that Justin Bieber was in visions or just, and it turned out he wasn't Justin Bieber and Drake. They thought Justin Bieber and Drake were in visions, but it turns out they weren't. Anyway, all them places are all shut now. Peter, Andre. It was just whoever just wasn't even anything. I don't even know why they fucking did that, but all those places are really interesting. And now they've all shut, but now it's all

moving out to the areas like in zone three, like the cause. Mana house stuff like that. All the Mana house where Reyes have been going on for ages, but like the cause, where's the other one? Five something. Five guys, not five guys. Just burgers now, mostly. But there's a lot of places out basically in outer skirts. Like I know the fold as well. I really hope folders open, but I think that's basically what's happening with London is that you just can't really have these unique like, like hotspots in central London anymore because

the property developer aspect of Tory Britain, it's too powerful. Like you can't really have that anymore. You don't really, people don't want that in their very expensive flat that they've paid lots of money for or housekeeping guys. That's what it was. That's the same thing in Manhattan too. I mean, the East Village has going to become like the place where finance and tech guys live and it's gotten super gentrified. And it's gotten, you know, a lot of the stuff that made it interesting has gotten pushed out because it was too loud and it's been replaced by, you know, bars that are or restaurants, clubs, etc. that are all owned by big corporations or by like big, you know, like LLCs, conglomerates,

that kind of thing. And it does, it just kind of gets rid of that. Like, you know, it's, even if the bar itself is the same or the club is the same, like if all of a sudden it's, you know, full of like finance dipshits, it's just, it's a different vibe. And yeah. And what I think is really interesting about it is that the stuff that comes in and replaces it sort of apes it. I mean, you see it a lot in like Stratford City where they've essentially like, again, for American listeners, Stratford is where the London 2012 Olympics happened and Stratford is like a very or like historically was always a very poor area of London. It's like a very, I mean, originally very like white working class and now quite a black working class area of London.

And basically in the, in the Olympics period, they kind of just kind of like cleansed it really and put up all this kind of like prefab, like this is a kind of trendy hipster area of London stuff. Whereas at least in stuff like Shoreditch, that kind of happened gradually or going like overnight, they did it in Stratford. And what you'll see is all the bars in Stratford now are kind of like fake versions of the bars in Shoreditch, which themselves suck. And I think that's an interesting jumping off point for like, I think a lot of people will be familiar with the, even Americans will be familiar with the picture of the four British guys on a night out, which we could probably make the episode art for this.

And the guys who are like really jacked and they're all dressed out of like the top man window. And it's funny because I remember them guys saying, well, there was a whole thing on the some fucking interview for like, yeah, and they were like, oh, actually we're not actually bad guys, but you know what? I think Churchill was actually a good guy and I do respect the flag. And it's like, come on, come on, man. Like, I get it. I get it. Like, I get it. Obviously, you've had loads of shit on social media, but come on. Like, dude, it's okay. It's okay if like, you just say, you know what? I don't like, I don't like, I don't want everyone slagging me off. That's fine. But don't go and say... I respect birds. I love slags. Don't say...

Don't then just go and say some other shit, which is even worse than like the shit, then you're already shit photo, which you're already like getting, you know, punished for. I don't know that those guys like, it's funny because again, like I've lived in a lot of places in England. Even though I'm like, I'm like half Scottish. I've always wanted to like live in Scotland and stuff, but like I've lived in a lot of variety areas, mostly just... Never had the balls. Yeah. Well, like I've lived in like Leeds, Nottingham and Norwich and London, those are the main cities I've lived in. And basically, those dudes are widespread across,

you know, when you go out in Nottingham, those dudes, they'd be like, it'd be like fucking minus three and they'd be guys in v-neck fucking like skin tight shirts and skin tight t-shirts. I know v-neck skin tight t-shirt, we're like, it'd be like your skin... How are you that... How are you not getting that cold? And they'd be like skin tight jeans. And a bollocks steroids, baby. It's like, obviously, you just get pissed enough to just kind of ignore it. But I think that kind of look, obviously, the reason why it became so... The reason why it was so funny, the reason why I guess it got shared so wildly is because really,

people see that in their town town is every single fucking night, every single night, every single weekend, every single Friday, there are those dudes, I know in Norwich, would there be a place called Liquid on the main high street? Like, I was an estate agent, but as a full sleeve of tattoos, it's just so funny. But that's what I'm saying is in these guys, I like, that is essentially now... I mean, that's essentially now just the UK, where it's like incredibly hench dudes... Who work in recruitment. Who work in recruitment sales, who just go to like basically like...

I mean, I feel like I've gone to all these basic clubs as well. And the only reason why I know, but it's because I fucking... I see these dudes at the basic club. This is funny. One of our friends, Isaac from Bristol, transformed, his friend has helped us out with a bunch of shit. We've played that show or played this transform twice. Good dude. He said that when that meme came out, when people were sharing that, he was like, yeah, I didn't really react or see what was funny about it. He's like, because I'm from Cardiff, and that's just what every dude in Cardiff looks like. Yeah. I'm from Essex. That's what every guy from Essex looks like.

Exactly. I think that's the funny thing is that for people that live in London, I've had a lot of people that have come to London and have talked about how like, oh, I never want to move out of London or like... And all this stuff about London nightlife and this stuff. And it's like, I just don't think they have much experience of other areas of the UK or England or whatever in terms of the nightlife, because that is literally what it's like all the time. But then also that's what it's like in London. I mean, you get that all over London. It's just that people don't see it because they're not going to it because they're going to some trendy fucking bar in Shortix or they're going to some trendy bar in Clapham or Peckham

or whatever the fuck it is. But it's like, that shit is widespread in the UK. It is the UK. That's literally what it is. You can't escape it. You can't all bar one the next morning like, oh, mate, I think I lost my Audi A3 key in here. And then they bring out like a huge fucking tub full of like 400 Audi A3 keys. Like, which one is yours? The thing is though, as well, is that like, I mean, a lot of this is kind of like, snobbery. I mean, and it's snobbery across the board is in, you're being snobbery, you're being snobbish towards someone else. They're being snobbish towards you. Are they, are they? Yeah, it's called Britain, mate. Don't laugh. Yeah, literally, though. But it's like, I've done

the lads nights out. I've done, I've been on the lads on the lads. I've been the, like, you know, the boorish, annoying cunt who's just been fucking, you know, who's, who's been, I've been the guy in the tight clothes, probably, like, who's been in a polo shirt that's too tight. I've definitely gone out with polo shirts that are too tight. I've done all types of shit like that. And I think I see, I've seen it from both sides. And I can, a thing is obviously, you know, when you're, when you're a lad on a lads night out, it feels like, you know, everything seems like the funniest fucking thing ever. And it seems like, you know, you guys have the best banter and like, all you getting outrageously pissed and falling over and causing a fucking scene. I mean, the kind of shit

that we are doing in Croatia was just like, just like basically like fucking smashing shit up for no reason. I mean, that's just basically what stupid lads do. I mean, it's like, I've been a dickhead and an asshole as well as also being a snobbish kind of like dance music guy. And it's like, it's, I think either, I think UK is kind of built on those kind of, on those demarcations really where it's like, in terms of nightlife, especially, but the only problem is, I think, is that all of that nightlife is slowly becoming homogenised. Like even dance music now is becoming, it's becoming pop. It's becoming like, it's becoming like widespread. Like you sit like printworks and we talked about it on the podcast.

The Thai polo shirt guys are like into house music now. They're into all that shit. Like now it's become all nightlife is just becoming one thing. And that's another thing about the drug culture you were mentioning before, where drug culture now is widespread across, because it's so widespread across the whole of UK. Like 10 years ago, those guys weren't doing coke, but they're absolutely doing coke now. I mean, they might have been doing coke. I mean, I know a lot of like lads that just do coke in the pub or whatever and they just, they're calm with that. But now these lads are like going to clubs and doing pingas. I mean, it's one of these things where like, I think

nightlife is so, it's so kind of like, I don't know, it's, it's a weird thing where nightlife now is so, it's not like, I can't really explain it. Basically, it's just, everyone has access to this exact same things. And there's not really much of a stratification of it. Otherwise, other than you either go to China, whites and you can't get guests, this because you're not famous, or you're just in the rest of the pit with everyone else. Do you know what I mean? And like, I think it's in America, maybe it might have a different stratification where like, there are like a very different, you can go to a more expensive place or a less expensive place, but in the UK, it's like, either you go to a rave or you go to a bar,

you go to the pub, but everyone's in there to animals and hang out Jeremy Clarkson. I mean, the only kind of thing I can think of that's like a really like a bougie place that you can't access, everyone is like shored each house or something like that. Apart from that, everyone else can pretty much do the same thing. And that's why there's such a huge crossover. Well, I've never fucking gone to shored each house. That's the thing that pissed me off. When the fuck am I going to get to shored each house? No one's invited me to go and do some cool bougie shit and shored each house. I've never even been in there. It is like, it's mediocre. I know it's probably shit, but I want to go there and it's very, it's very easy to go there. I feel like you

could, if you put your mind to it, Tom, you could. No one's offered me. No one said, hey, I've been there twice and like, I'm not safe. No one's bringing me in. I mean, I've never, I've never been to the only times I've ever gone to cool clubs was when I was visiting my brother when he was studying abroad in Japan. Like I've never been to, I can't imagine I'll ever get into Burgheim even if I tried and similarly with clubs here. So I mean, I feel you on that. But one thing that I was thinking too is that like there's an extension of a background. Like this guy's cool. He's kind of like a bear. Yeah. You know, I do speak German, but it's one of those things where it has a vibe. There's a, there's a lot of what's it called? Like I think because so much of like

the things that what you were describing earlier, the crews of people who think they're the only ones doing this and they're the only ones they're having the best night in the history of humankind. So much of that now is getting, it gets shared that it does feel so it's kind of like homogenized a bit because you can share it on Instagram. You can share it on Twitter, on Facebook, that kind of stuff, you know, people are like, you know, there's an expectation now of like what a night out is going to entail. Yeah. And also I think it's like, I'm like beer number three, maybe I'm becoming Riley here, but like this kind of, it almost I think picks up a little bit on something we've talked about on trash future a bit, which is like this kind of, I don't know,

like compartmentalization of experiences where like we talked about a lot on the episode where we talked about the GameStop thing and like Robin Hood traders and stuff where like, there's kind of like a like in whatever it is, there's always someone whose job it is to be the stupid money. And like, I feel like that exists in nightlife too, where you get the guys who are coming in for their big night out into London. And they think they're having a big London night out, but they're actually going to all the places that are deliberate play pens for people who aren't from London. Like it's like all the all bar ones and whatever, like Tiger, Tiger on Piccadilly, they're like, well, it's on Piccadilly, the most in London place you can be, but they're all

they're doing there is meeting other people from the home counties in the same place. And you get into this like very like, it's just fascinating, like, and I feel like you can be on a night out in London and you can just spot these like swathes of people moving like fucking shoals of fish who are just like, not from London, but they're so convinced they're on this London night out that's conveniently missing all of the places where Londoners go. Well, like, I think like sure that she's definitely become that hotspot now for Box Park and then there's Cargo and all these ones that like our accountants based in the Midlands for trash richer. And the other day he texted me and he was like something that their firm had come up about Box Park and he was like asking

me about it. It was like, that's the place where all the cunts go, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It isn't no like there's a big I mean, I mean, for me, like I haven't really I it's one of them ones where you always end up finding yourself there. You never go there for the purpose of going there, but you always end up finding yourself. I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah, it's a spiritual experience. It's a spiritual experience. It's one of them weird things where it's like shortage is a weird one now where it used to be, you know, a place where you'd go to be a cool guy and now it's a place you'd go to be like to be it's now essentially become almost like the China white, the West End, essentially, it's now become a new West End.

It's the guys from the photo. Yeah. Yeah, it is that though. And it is that and it's weird when you kind of go in there on a Friday night or a Saturday night, you find yourself there randomly. And it's it's like, I used to really love it in shortage. I mean, I think it's one of them ones where it has so many good bars, even though a lot of them are like, you know, wanky and overpriced or whatever, they're still good. They're still nice to drinking or whatever. And you can like go there and then lose yourself and then end up finding Oh, fuck. And now you're too pissed to say no to this, that and a third. And it's like, I think it's that's the kind of that's the thing about London that should be kind of like more encouraged, I think in terms of their night life

where it's like, it should really just encourage the random ones, because the random ones obviously are good. The best ones are the ones that are spontaneous. Yeah, spontaneous. Where it's like, yeah, maybe I will get some gear in after doing three points and then go to a really shit club. The podcast is yet young. So I just think it's a I don't even know what my point is. I just think we're short. It's just like, it's got it's still got the potential to be a good place to go out in. And I think a lot of these kind of hotspots in the UK still have that or a lot of the high street kind of boring kind of places you associate with like kind of lads or whatever still have the potential to be really good for nightlife. Yeah, it just Yates is wine lodge. Why not?

I remember in Norwich, Norwich had a really weird nightlife where there was like, basically the big hench, liquidy type ones on the main high street. There was a lot of bars that stayed open for really, really late like five or six a.m. She got a big art school in Norwich, right? Yeah. It's presumably kind of like an edgy scene. Exactly, yeah. And a lot of these places were just actually quite good at just basically attracting everyone. And it's like, I think that's what really kind of makes a nightlife good is when you can attract everyone, but the vibe is good enough that you don't need to have one specific type of person in there. Like, I don't know, like when you're only attracting hench dudes in skin tight shirts,

then it's a bad vibe. But when you're attracting those dudes and then art students, and then like whoever else, do you know what I mean? Then it's like, there becomes a good vibe. And I feel like that's the thing that a lot of potential that nightlife UK not have has really kind of bubbling away, but it's whether it can actually do that or not, basically. And for me, because I've never had the full on experience, because the only times we've had real nights out have been with the show, like post live show and stuff like that. To me, the platonic ideal of the real night out in the UK is the video for the Prodigy song, Smack My Bitch Up, where you take Coke first, and then you tease your drinking, and then you go get

some food, and then you go to a club, and you get in a fight there, you get in another fight, in another fight, full of girl, but you forgot your keys, so you smash the window of your own car, you drive home, and then you discover you are a woman. Well, the closest is the other day I made, I made Nate watch the video for the streets, you're fit, but you know it. Oh, yeah. And yeah, absolutely. Just a whole bit about getting a kebab. Getting in fights while trying to buy chips. Yeah. The line where it says, I stop sharking for a minute to get chips and drinks, I think is the most like, it would take American scientists years to understand the line like that. The amount of fights, I mean, I've gotten a lot of fights after, I think, weirdly Camden,

even though it's obviously full of goffs and all that shit traditionally, Camden's now become another hotspot like Shoreditch or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where like, all the fights I've got in after outside of the club, but why they've been in Norwich or Camden and some of the ones, is this, I think it's Camden Stables or Camden, it's Camden Locke. I know it's Camden Locke is the main place where all the bars are, but there was one, I think it was called like the proud rooms or. Oh, proud. Yeah. Yeah. Proud is like fucking concentration. Yeah. Man, and there was some dude outside of club out there. And he was like, he was basically squared up to me and I was like, okay, cool. Well, look, I'm not going to hit you because

you look like a fucking pussy. So you're going to have to hit me. And then the fight just consisted of him hitting me, punching me and it means to be like, what? And I'm just literally doing that because I was so pissed. That's such a Chad move. I'm not even going to hit you back because that was so uninteresting. I was just like, come on, fucking hit me and come on, fucking hit me. He just hit me like repeatedly in the face. And then eventually he's like, oh, shit. I just, he was eventually just like, you know what, mate? Like this is, I don't like this anymore. All I did was just, I mean, that was like that. You did like smoking a version therapy on in both of fights. You're like, no, now you have to hit me 25 times.

Some dude in a Ben Sherman just fucking like repeatedly hitting me in the face. Ben Sherman, that's always a bad time. It's just horrible. But it's just like, that is basically how I view like places like hand and our shortage now where it's like, those kind of dudes who, you know, and I guess the fight started out of some meaningless shit, but it's all, it's all of that. All of it is just meaningless as a whole. I mean, it's all, it's like, all of it is just like meaningless bravado. That's how it feels like the whole of the UK nightlife is now just kind of like turning into a meaningless bravado, basically. But I will say one thing that, and we can, if we have to close on this weekend,

one thing that I do find very funny. I've got like one more beat tip, but yeah. Yeah. That I would say is something I noticed as a foreigner here is that it does strike me that it is way, way easier to get your ass kicked here than in America. In the sense that in America, there's the threat of guns. In a casual way though, more casual way. Insane cops, but it'll happen so quick out of nowhere here. And also in situations you don't expect. I, after one of Milo's shows, I don't think I'd had anything to drink. I think I literally just drank water. They're a bit rough for my shows, you know. I was trying to renegade crowds. I was walking back in Finsbury, trying to go get to the bus to then get to the

overground to get home. And I was walking on the street and there's two girls walking the opposite direction. And one of them just jumped at me. He was screaming. He was trying to fight me. And I was just like, this does not happen in America. I never had a drunk chick try to fight me in the street. I've got beaten up by girls before as well. There was one point. There was one point. There was two girls in Suffolk. There's two girls in Suffolk. They were basically like, these two girls, my friends had said something. My two other friends that were also girls had said something like, dumb to them. And they take the piss out of him. And then so these girls got really pissed off. There was like three of them.

They started like chucking them in bushes anyway. My mates fucked off. They just surrounded me and my mate. And they were just like, they were like exchanging rings. They were like, oh, let me put on some rings. I remember specifically them saying, let me borrow your ring. And then they would just punch us after they put on the ring. And then me and my mate said, I'm going to get like whatever. I was only like 17, 16. I was quite young, maybe even 15. I was very young at the time. I was in Suffolk. So it must have been a teenager. And I was like, I just, what the fuck can you do when girls are like punching in the face? There's literally nothing you can do, but it's like,

Punching in the face. You're fully erect. I feel like with England as well, like girls are a lot more, I don't know what I've never really seen it in you in the US obviously, because I'm not lived there. But in the UK, I feel like girls are a lot more willing just to be rowdy and start fights and joining with the male like fucking beef. Like, I don't, my sister used to play for late in orient ladies and like all the girls, all the girls on her like football team were like kind of butch as you might expect. I mean, no stereotypes here, but like, you know, my sister is herself a female football player and like, you know, they say how it's how it be. And like one of the, one of the girls on her football team, like they were on a night out and

some girl like looked at her the wrong way and she threw her through the window of a Wimpy bar. For a Wimpy bar. That's some fucking deep Britain shit. I've never seen that. That sounds like the most Britain thing of all time getting thrown through a Wimpy bar. Living in Moscow, I think like people assume that it's like super like scary or whatever. And it's like no one gets into fights in Moscow because no one knows who has a G-wagon for the Chechens around the corner. Like guys will, guys will like front it out with you, but like they're never going to swing at you because they just don't fucking know. Like, yeah. Whereas in Britain, everyone knows no one's got any fucking boys. That's weirdly actually kind of the basis of why

probably of a whole nightlife structure where we know no one's got a gun. We know no one's really that hard. It's soft play for adults. It is though. We know no one's really got a gang. Like obviously, you know, sometimes you might bump into a dude and you're unlucky and you get fucked over, but really nine times out of 10, you can just start a fight with some random cunt. You can just get beaten up or he gets beaten up or your girlfriend can just like spill a drink or whoever the fuck it is. And it's going to be calm. You're all going to go home. The police aren't even going to get involved. You're going to go to bed and spill kebab on yourself. Yeah. It's very like, it's very British, I think to have two guys who's like girlfriends are slapping

the shit out of each other. And then like they both shake hands at the end. We've refereed this. Yeah. I mean, I remember like at fucking Cambridge, like it was, it was like looking back on it now. It was also fucking stupid. But I remember that because people from the Midlands used to come to Cambridge for a big night out on a Friday and Saturday, there was a big, there was the biggest weather spoons in Europe is in Cambridge, which is bizarre. And if the student, the students would always go out on weeknights or on a Sunday night. And if you went to spoons on a Friday or Saturday night, that was called Danger Spoons because it was full of the guys from the picture. Like it was just like,

I remember guys used to go there and get beaten up or whatever. And it was, it was mostly, it was like incredibly tame. There was this whole thing like, oh yeah, Danger Spoons, whatever. Remember I had a mate who's like, he's very mouthy, but in like a very like, he's mouthy in a like, he's extremely good at working out what people's insecurities are and getting himself in trouble by like winding people up. Like he'll find the biggest bloke in the room, work out what it is that his light is his deep seated fucking Freudian thing. And then start being like, yeah, how do you feel about your mum? And then this guy, but his best mate at college was this guy who used to box for Canada. But he was like, he was

like a middleweight. It's like this wiry like five, eight guy who no one used to look at twice. So he used to like start the fight by like winding up the huge cunt. And then he'd be like, okay, Cliff, who's now like a leftist academic would have to just knock everyone out. Yeah, but that's the sort of shit you can get away with in Britain. That is the sort of shit. I mean, I think that's probably why that's probably one of the only good things I like about actually our nightlife is that you can really still get away with like a naught or naughty shit. And it'd be fine. Like I mean, the thing that obviously about the police and nightclubs, like it's a scary thing in the discourse currently. Yeah,

it's a scary thing about it. But it's like, it's so incredible. I think it's incredibly scary, not just for women, because of obviously the reaction, obviously the multiple stories of policemen abusing their powers and even their training to fucking attack and assault women of late, let alone like historically. But like, it's just the idea of like having a safe space that everyone can enjoy, whether you are fucking meathead meme dude, or like fucking someone like us who just goes there to do like load of drugs and hug strangers. Like it doesn't matter who you are, like you need that safe space. And I feel like if you're undercover cop by mistake, that's what I'm saying. And it's a lot of there's been a lot of tweets that we've been firing

off that I've read that have been discussing about how actually it makes people feel incredibly like anxious and also distrustful of your fellow man. But imagine going into a nightclub and not missing every single fucking dude, not just that we're super dry, but that every single fucking dude that just looks vaguely like cop, or even like there was some funny guy in shoe. Yeah, any some guy there was any, any guy who basically looks vaguely coppish or acts vaguely coppish, you're going to distrust that. That's no way to be in a club when you're in a club. And he's like, you yourself, the gentleman there, you're talking to the lady over there in relation to yourself. That's what I'm saying. And you're instantly like,

shit. And then you can't do anything. You can't express it. I mean, expressing yourself is obviously a bit like fucking like whatever bit too much when I'm like, when you actually think about it, like the nightclub is a place where you really can go to lose yourself, whether it be for good or worse. And it's like, I think the idea of taking that even that freedom away by having some fucking random cunt in bootcut jeans, being able to stare you down and arrest you. There was some story on Twitter of some guy having a pint multiple pints with a police officer. And then he offered him a bump of a fucking bit of coke and he arrested him there. And then on the spot, he got like 10 months in prison or something. And it's like, that's the kind of, it's scary though. That's

such a scary because that becomes possession with intent to supply. So yeah, if you went even even in the club, you're and that's having that kind of safe, that kind of safe space gets eviscerated. And all that's going to do is lead people to go to illegal parties. All that's going to do is lead people to go to worse, more criminally, like more, more criminally, like basically places that have more fucking crime, more fucking more, well, more unsafe spaces for everyone, including women. So all you're going to do is just push everyone away. Like it fails on its own logic because the idea that the reason why women experience like sexual harassment or assault in nightclubs is because there's no police don't have security. It's like,

if anything, clubs have loads of security and like generally speaking, like if you reported something to like that, those security, they do something about it. It might be the wrong thing. No, but they like, I mean, I mean, the bouncers are worse than the fucking police. Yeah, they go hard. I mean, the bouncers, obviously, you know, they can be cunts, but a lot of the time, more likely to err on the side of kicking someone out than not. Exactly. The law that's, I mean, the first thing they'll fucking do is be like, right, that guy's a prick. Let's beat the shit out of him. Obviously, that's the kind of thing that police do, which is a problem in and of itself, but like a different kind of problem.

But it's, I mean, they're already doing it. They're already having big hench guys patrolling and beating the shit out of people for doing something wrong. You don't need another fucking guy being a secret stealthy guy who's willing to arrest you on top of that. It's like, at least the bouncers are wearing armbands. You know where they are. I mean, the guy with a neck that wide can go undercover. But I mean, yeah, it's just, it's a scary thing because it and Sherman don't make that side. Yeah. Or like super dry. I mean, all that shit is just obviously apistic. And it's kind of like a joke. It's become a meme or whatever. But it's, it's a scary idea that we can, we can't even have a place to enjoy ourselves and actually let us. And it's a Trojan horse for something else. It's

because they want their itching to be able to police those spaces. And it's not because they care about the safety of women at all. Exactly. Yeah. And I think they're going to rely on the, the sort of like unwitting ascent of a lot of people who think they care about the safety of women who are, I think like there's a real sense of like, there's nothing you can do about women's safety. And I think in a lot of cases, people are right about that, unfortunately. And so they grasp at things that won't help and will actually make other things worse just to feel like they are doing something. That sound good. Like the sound authoritarian, that sound like, you know, there's more people there that's going to be, I mean, some of the stories that have been coming

out recently, just, just recently of police abusing their powers have been horrific. So it's like, why the fuck would I trust these cops to make us any more safe? I saw, there was a video that I was seeing shared, I think it was Channel 4 News was sharing it of like CCTV footage of a cop basically just attacking a woman. It wasn't the guy who allegedly murdered Sarah Everett. It was, it was just another situation of a cop. Just, yeah, prowling basically and seeing a woman walking home on her own and just like assaulting her. And it's like, yeah, get one of those fucking guys in every single club. I'm sure that's a number of things. And those are the guys that obviously going to be volunteering for it and all this kind

of shit. I mean, there's so many things fundamentally wrong with it. But yeah. Yeah. Right. Well, to finish this on a light note, because this is something I've talked about with Nate a lot and I think is worth addressing. There is a sort of, there is a kind of benign charm to a certain aspect of the British night out, which I think we haven't covered yet, which is, and I think this is more of a London thing, which is the kind of the late night, everyone's on the way home, collective moment of like kind of coming together banter, be it the sing-along, be it the someone has fallen over on the central line and everyone's saying way, be it like, whatever, like, I remember like being on the top deck of night buses in

London and everyone seemingly organically begins doing the Kolo Yaga Touray thing. Like this kind of shit that I've never seen in another country. None of my buses are like, they're in, they're a whole world and themselves. And it's like it fucking ticks on at 11 o'clock, one PM, because I've been on a bus back to Peckham with my wife and it was completely quiet at 10.59 and 11.01. Folks get on with like a boombox and a fucking bottle of champagne and just go, I'm just like, this just doesn't happen in anywhere in America that I've ever been. I think it's a thing, well, it's also like a, I guess it's kind of like a,

it's not like a shared misery, but it is vaguely a shared misery where it's like, we're all basically celebrating the fact that we have to go home. We're all celebrating the fact that we can't carry on this thing in a pub. We're all celebrating the fact that really we don't want to be on the top deck of a bus. I think that's why the London, the London night bus is such a like fucking weird place because most of the places are closing and they're kicking you out way before you want to go out, way before you want to leave that place. Like if it was in Berlin, for example, they'd be there, you know, these people wouldn't be there till four days.

That's what I'm saying. You just be fucking sitting there for days. So like, I think a lot of the stuff is more like all that kind of celebratory kind of like camaraderie. It's more just like everyone being like, you know what, we're all in this position where we don't want to be on this bus going home. We just want to be still in a fucking pub. It's the actual Blitz spirit. Yeah, exactly. So like, let's make a fucking laugh out of it. Let's actually have a fucking fun time. Because it's only through like Nate living in the UK where I've realized how alien this is to foreigners. Because I remember they telling me this story about him being on a bus or was it

the tubers in here? And then they all started singing sweet Caroline. We were on the northern line and we were getting on. I think I can't remember if it was like, it was basically we were taking the tube as far as we could into South London and then taking the bus home. And yeah, we got in what seemed like the least packed full carriage. And then basically as soon as the door was closed, this crowd of people started singing sweet Caroline. It's a funny detail to mention this because my wife's black and we basically were like, well, it's very unlikely that if we get in a car with the most amount of black people that people are going to start fucking singing goddamn sweet Caroline, we get in this and it's like

this small group in the corner of like white college students looking age kids, all start similar like motherfucker. It's just it's just a thing that doesn't have like, if you tried that, how to phrase, I mean, I don't have a ton of experience of like the day-to-day life in either American city besides New York, because it's the one I lived in the longest. But if you tried that, unless you were really, really good at singing, people just be like, hey, I'll shut the fuck up. And like probably would. Whereas in Britain, there's like, there's a sort of background level of resistance to it because British people are awkward, but they start going like sweet Caroline. And everyone's like, for fuck's sake, but then, but then everyone's

like, they have to because they're obliged by the crown. Yeah, you have to. Yeah. It's the law. And then the other ones are somehow even more infectious. I mean, this is even harder to explain to Americans, but Kolo and Yaya Toure is like a whole... Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Kolo, Toure, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Yaya, Toure. Have you ever experienced that one? I've never experienced that, but I recognize the song because it's no limit. I know that song. It's like a 90s like Euro dance song.

Yeah, that's one of the best tunes ever. Also, it's funny because I'm an Arsenal fan, but even though that was specifically really a Man City fan song, because obviously Kolo got sold to Man City and obviously they had the Kolo brothers there for a short time. The Toure brothers, not the Kolo brothers. But yeah, that was like... It's just one of the best crowd chants of all time. Two brothers with just phenomenal phoneme, isn't it? Like they have absolutely smashed it on the chart. One of the best football chants of all time. I just can imagine being like a city fan and

getting, letting that loose. It would just feel like electric, basically. Some of the Arsenal fan chants you get, they're good. The best one we had was Olivier Giroud singing Hey Jude, but... That one went off, but a part of him that has not really been that much of any good ones. There is a weird hive mind wisdom to football chants, which I think really cuts it. Like, I remember there was some guy who was, I think, a goalkeeper who had schizophrenia or personality disorder or something, and the crowd used to chant, there's only two. Yeah, I mean, that's another thing. That's another part of British culture. I mean,

we could have gone in deep into that. But the idea that everyone knows certain songs and is willing to just join in. I think if we were on the brink of war with an alien species, the UK soldiers, all of us conscripted in this weird alien war, we'd all just be singing Kolo, Kolo, Kolo before we go over it. That would freak the aliens out. They'd be like, these guys are fucking serious. They would be singing football chants as we go over the top to fight whoever, whatever alien forces. Reading festival in 2010, I'm 17 and getting involved in some group of like 50 guys who are right. And I remember there was riot police deployed there because there'd been a riot the previous year. And the riot police joining in with this, which again, you cannot imagine American

police. You know, ACAB and everything, but British police definitely have more of a sense of humor than American police do. I think it would be fair to say, and they're joining in with, we're all running around singing Ten German bombers to the tune of fucking Ten Green Bottles. I don't know, does he even do Ten Green Bottles in America? Do you guys do Ten Green Bottles? I don't, it might be different lyrics in the US. I don't recognize Ten Green Bottles off the top of my head. I can't even remember the fucking tune now. Ten Green Bottles. It's like Ten Green Bottles on a wall. Ten Green Bottles sitting on a wall. If those bottles should surely fall somewhere, there'll be nine green bottles and it like counts down, but they do it with Ten German

bombers. It's like, Ten German bombers flying in the air, whatever. And it's like, oh, there they are. I have from England shot them down. And it's like, this is about shit that happened like 70 years ago. Like what the fuck is happening right now? This weird like folk memory. Yeah, just utterly, utterly bizarre. That's fucking wild. Yeah, definitely don't have that. I mean, I, yeah. And certainly if you were singing an equivalent thing like 99 bottles of beer on the wall or something, the cops would just beat your ass. Shut it down, boys. More Americans got abroad, got outside the country and saw that like even in countries where the people fucking hate the cops, the cops aren't as bad as they are in America. Like I just,

and I'm sure that there's like a valid discussion to be had there about like, what if, what if a bunch of like black kids are the same age or engaging in something like equally harmless and they were around cops? I'm sure the response might have been different, but yeah, for sure. I mean, I think certainly in South London, where every time I see a traffic stop, there's like 15 cops or some shit. Like, yeah, I know what you mean. But yeah, I mean, there is, I think I do feel lucky even as bad as things are in the UK to have grown up somewhere where you don't just live under that fear of just like, yeah, being like being brutalized by, which I think like obviously, for black people in America, it's so much worse than it is for white people, but just even for

white people, I think the stakes are quite high. Any cops kill more white people because they just kill so many people and more people in America. There's more white people. There's more white people doing stupid shit. I mean, the first time I ever got harassed by the cops for some bullshit, I wasn't even doing anything wrong. They just were power tripping. I was probably 13 and I probably looked about 10. So like I posed no fucking threat. And yeah, yeah, just that's, that's how it starts. And I grew up in a, when I was in Indiana, dude, I grew up in a boring suburb. So there was no threat to speak of, but that's how the cops are there. And so yeah, it's just, I don't know, I feel like the culture of the night out here is also shaped so much by

what you can get away with and just sort of the general. And it does strike me like if we were going to close it off, the point I would leave is that it feels like Britain is getting more authoritarian and there are a lot of things that really would shock Americans as far as like what they can and can't do, like the government and that kind of a thing. But also there is such a culture of sort of like fuck off and leave me alone and mind your own business. And I feel like that leads to a lot of these things. And people hate the cops. There's no, there's very few people, I think, even among like Tories who like really like the cops. There's a real like ingrained culture of British people don't like the cops. Yeah, I think it's, there's still, it's still,

there's still like a vaguely libertarian attitude in the UK. Obviously we are very, very fucking bootlicky in terms of the monarchy. Yeah, the monarchy and everyone that's rich. We all just think they're the best fucking things and it's like spread or whatever, but there still is a massive distrust of police and stuff. Like I think especially now with all this corona stuff, you can really see when you look at some of the replies to certain like fucking mainstream news tweets, there's a whole fucking subsection of like Tories, basically like hard fucking Tories who are like angry at the fact that their liberties have been trampled on by the police or the government and the police and all this stuff. And so it's, it's, there's a definitely like a

double war being waged from the left and the right against the police. I should think they're, they're very cautious of, and I think obviously the police crime bill is one of those ones where I think they obviously delayed it because I think they, they, they did sense that they could have been real like civil unrest from that. But I mean, yeah, it's probably not the same with like nights out, but I think, I think the police in the UK do seem to know when to basically take it or leave it in terms of like disrupting a night out. And I feel that's why most nights out because they know that no one's going to fucking carry a gun and nothing's going to really kick off on a massive scale that could disrupt, you know, a city center or a town center on any

major level. So really all they've got to worry about is a fight breaking out. And then that can be like fucking stamped on, you know, quicker than how many fucking dudes you can send there. So I feel like in the, in the UK, Same things like leave it out, man. Yeah. So I feel like with nightlife in the UK, it's all just really a matter of like, again, it's all just kind of like a matter of like bravado and how pissed you are really. And both of those things usually equate to not very much after a while. Yeah. Well, a lot of people would call it, but this is officially the longest

Britannology we've ever done, but I think it's been a worthwhile deep dive. Yeah. It's been really fun, man. Thanks for making time for this because like this, your perspective on this is, I know a lot of American listeners are going to find love this shit because like, I know we're going to be like, what the fuck was he saying? There was a point where you were telling that story about being in Las Vegas and you're like, it's trying to popping his office fucking bees and I'm like, leave it out. Yeah. There's going to be American listeners who are like, that guy, what, what language is it? Pengas means pills. It means ecstasy, by the way. Pengas means ecstasy.

I don't know what other butters is ugly. Sure for butter face. I can't remember any of the other ones I used. That was it. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see you in the comments. It's all good. It's all good stuff though, but a year of basically not being going to do anything, I definitely would love to, I might not be, might not be game for after party in the next day, but we'd definitely love to fucking go out. So Tom, if you want to, if you're up for it, let's do some, let's do some gear. We'll probably be moving to Hackney, hopefully later in this year. So yeah. I've been tampa laying basically, but yeah, if any of you are listening, want to go out with me,

just shout me on my Twitter handle. Don't invite that Tom. Don't let them. Do not let the hogs take an inch because they will take a mile. We can do loads of gear, loads of pengas together, all the slang words you don't understand. We can do them together. If any Americans want to visit Britain and experience the free chaos of a British night out with no, well, like the absolute worst thing that can happen is that you spend a night in the cells and then we'll have a night and then in the morning we'll get a fry up together. And you can, you can discover for yourself that a hangover can actually be good. Be enjoyable and it can. Anyway, that's for another episode.

Tom will teach you all about Olivier Giroux. So Tom, is there anything you'd like to plug? Oh, I don't know when this is coming out, but I'm actually doing the splits for VICE next week. Oh, nice. It's the end of this month, probably. So I don't know what day it was. We can actually link to it. I'll look for it on the timeline and we can plug it. Well, I think, I think my video should be coming out pretty soon in terms of me learning how to do the splits. So that's basically the big like media project I'm doing at the moment. I've, I have honestly not been asked about it at all. I've really

kind of not been trying my hardest with it, but at the same time, I'm going to be doing it. So that's what I'm doing. And that'll be out pretty soon on VICE. So if you want to me see me try and do the splits, a guy with a massive ass and a big thighs, I'm trying to learn. What is Tom Usher doing with all that cake? That's the question on everyone's lips. That's true. That is what everyone's been asking me. And I'm doing it in leggings as well. So you can really see my ass in 4D. Again, don't encourage horniness in the listeners. That's something which I have to say. I've got nothing else to plug because I don't really do anything else. Follow him on Twitter. Yeah, follow me on Twitter. That's it.

Get involved in Friday Cheers. That's it. I'm going to start doing that again, because those of other people will start to nick my Friday Cheers, which is being an on. Yeah. And I think a lot of people who objectively Tom are a lot less cool and interesting than you, who are trying to piggyback on it. It's sad, but you know what? Because you do it with a sort of a vuncular charm, which they couldn't carry off. Yeah, I feel that. I don't mind it though, because I tried to cancel it and just say, look, this is it. It was just one year, but then obviously lockdown's just carrying on. And so either way, I just had to leave it, but the same retirement for one last job.

I had to though. I had to come out retirement and teach these punk kids how to do Friday Cheers. Well, you catch Tom on the TL for Friday Cheers, and we will see you all next month. Yep. Have a good one. Catch you later.