TRASHFUTURE - *Unlocked* Genghis Khan: Business Tycoon feat. Soweto Kinch

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

This week, we speak to jazz saxophonist and MC Soweto Kinch (@sowetokinch) about big tech's attempts to steal creative idea-generation concepts and apply them to high-stress startup culture. We also talk about certified genius Roger Scruton, and Milo brings back his south-of-south-of-Louisiana accent. You will enjoy this. If you like this episode, you can access it and dozens like it by subscribing to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We’ll be performing once again at the Star of Kings in Kings Cross (126 York Way, Kings Cross, London N1 0AX) on Thursday, May 30 at 7:30 pm. Get your tickets here and return to the podcasting basement! It's £10 to see the show. https://www.tickettext.co.uk/trashfuture-podcast/trashfuture-live-30052019/ *ADDITIONAL LIVE SHOW ALERT* On June 15, we’ll perform at Wolfson College Bar (Wolfson College, Cambridge CB3 9BB) in Cambridge. The show starts at 8:30 pm, so be there and be ready to hear about Gundams. Tickets are £8 for students and £10 for general admission: https://www.tickettext.co.uk/trashfuture-podcast/trashfuture-live-in-cambridge-15062019/ *COMEDY KLAXON*:  On Thursday, May 23 at The Sekforde (34 Sekforde Street London EC1R 0HA), you can see friend of the show Olga Koch at another Smoke Comedy. The show starts at 8 pm and tickets are £5 -- get them here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/smoke-comedy-featuring-olga-koch-tickets-61150180837 Also: you can commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from http://www.lilcomrade.com/, and what’s more, it’s mandatory if you want to be taken seriously. Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

Hello, friends. Welcome to this week's Trash Future. We've got a new episode in the works for you, but due to scheduling, we're not going to have it out until later in the week. So please enjoy this unlocked bonus episode featuring us and Sowido Kinch, a jazz musician and emcee. And remember that many more episodes just like this are available on the Patreon. And thus it was born. Listen unto my loins. Whoa. But not women's loins. Not the craven clitoral loins of the pharisex.

I find those weird and it's a universal thing. Absolutely. Not because I'm a weird nerd. I have rational loins. Yo, Roger Strudin has such rational loins. Rational loins is my rap name. All right, pop in the theme song there. Hello, once again, and welcome back to Trash Future, the podcast that you are currently listening to. I am, as ever, Riley, and I'm here in studio with Milo Edwards.

It's me, your boy. Hello. Nate on the boards. Hello, me again. Alice calling in from Glasgow, where she ordinarily is calling in from. Calling in from my deathbed, because I have Zika or something. So this is going to be Alice's last episode and it will be played. Thank you for easing my suffering and like sparing me off this mortal coil with whatever this is going to be. Alice has taken to her bed and protest at conditions in the Crimean War.

And we are also joined by Jazz Saxophonist and MC Soweto Kinch. I'm good. Good to be here. So we met in Bristol, actually, after Bristol transformed. You sort of stumbled into our live show and were like, well, I need to see if they can do this again. Exactly. Without the bereft of the crowd. Exactly. Bereft of the crowd, I would say 60% of whom were fans and into it, and 40% of whom had wandered in from a walking tour.

Wait, this isn't what we signed up for. My target audience. These people have said nothing about Jack the Ripper whatsoever. So I figure we've got lots to cover today, so I thought we might as well jump right into it. But I've decided to start things off, as I so often do, with one of these startup companies. You're familiar with the concept of a startup company, of course. Oh yeah, baby, we run one. Technically, I guess it sort of is.

I'm not asking you things, what is this but a startup? I was at a gig the other day and there was a girl doing stand-up who said like, oh, the other day I matched with someone on Tinder and I was really intimidated because he was the CEO of a company and I went on stage afterwards and I was like, I am legitimately the CEO of a company. It means nothing. Everyone can be me. You can all be CEOs of a company. If you read my new business book, CEO of your own life, applying the business secrets to everyday encounters, you too can become the CEO of your own breakfast, lunch, dinner, commute.

I'm only COO of my own life, I've been demoted. No question, what does that actually stand for? Company, executive. I think the idea that being COO of your own life is what Rodney Dangerfield writes about as wife but as a business mindset book, like, yeah, I get no respect. I'm COO. My wife's the CEO. Anyway. My kids are the shareholders.

Can't catch a break around here. No, this is, I can't remember if I've said this on the podcast before but the funniest part, one of the funniest things you could really think of is the idea that of Rodney Dangerfield being a submissive and just being rock hard constantly because he has no respect. And for this, I'm dying. I'm trying to get that out of my head for the next one. All right, extremely on the right of the first ten minutes.

Welcome to the podcast. Some kind of therapy. Actually, we're quite restrained every time, compared to how it normally is. So, I've got a startup. This is a quote from the startup's page. I'm not actually going to say what the name is because it makes it too obvious what it does. This is the main quote from their page. Andy Warhol said, quote, the most beautiful thing in Tokyo is McDonald's, the most beautiful

thing in Stockholm is McDonald's, the most beautiful thing in Florence is McDonald's. Peking in Moscow don't, or didn't at the time of the quoting, have anything beautiful yet. Wow, Andy Warhol sounds like a fucking asshole. Yes, sorry. So, is this something to do with McDonald's? You'd think so, no. They then goes on, blank has to be beautiful. So, something that only exists in developed countries.

And non-communisty ones. Yeah, exactly. It can't exist anywhere where there's a strong central government that's not making apps. In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes and have great choices on the pound saver menu. Is it like some kind of racist algorithm that avoids yellow, black, and brown people? Look, that's one of the three types of companies that we talk about on this show. This is, in terms of asinine to insidious, this is hard on the asinine scale of the spectrum.

How much of your personal data does it sell, or harvest? None, neither. Wow, okay, that is unusual for us. We cycle back, he's talking about how the most beautiful thing anywhere is McDonald's. Blank has to be beautiful, there will be no ugly place left after this. It's not specifically McDonald's, but what could be beautiful about a McDonald's to someone like Andy Warhol? So, is it something that lets you get your favorite fast food anywhere in the world?

Standardized. Okay, that's it. What does, Andy Warhol loves about McDonald's the clown? Is that, that seems like the sort of thing that like, Andy Warhol's like, I have long been fascinated by the hamburger. What is it that motivates the hamburger? His only desire in life is to steal hamburgers. I love how your Andy Warhol voice is just slightly more pensive Donald Trump.

Wait, he's not wrong with us. It's like Donald Trump's seductive voice. To be fair, to be fair, slightly more pensive Donald Trump absolutely destroys the character of Donald Trump. Like, pensive is not a word Donald Trump even knows. It doesn't exist. The man has never sort of looked longingly out of a window while smoking a cigarette and dreaming about what the real estate deal that got away.

But what does it mean to make a deal? So we are, I'm going to keep going because this is extremely obtuse and it's so stupid you're never going to guess it. John Trump. It's fucking sartre, but it's Trump smoking gal was. We cannot comprehend what it is that drives the hamburger to these, to these feats of inhuman indulgence. But we can only say that there is no God.

Pensive Jason Statham is the one that's kind of mind. Listen cupcake, in a sense, we are all the Hamburglar. Okay. We are creating a media blank with a potential coverage of seven billion people on the planet. Also media is plurals. You like it's a Russian company. Okay. We are creating a media.

Look, it's the thing is it's so asinine. It's so incredibly stupid. You're never going to get it. So like does it's not. Is it something clever for this? Trust me. TV with like no like linguistic content. So you don't have to translate it for other markets.

Bigger, bigger, larger, physically larger. It's Instagram, but only for pictures of your ass. Bigger and larger. A giant plinth with higher. Physically larger, bigger than my ass. Physically bigger. Okay. So it's like a larger device.

Yeah. It's like it's like a huge screen. So everyone in Moscow can watch the same TV at the same time. No, no. Don't point at me like that. Surely not. Oh my goodness. What?

This is the closest anyone has come by a mile. Is it a big touch screen then? They can all make orders on this. A Russian company called Start Rocket says it is going to launch a cluster of cube sets into space that will act as an orbital billboard. No. Oh no.

There we go. Is this like the one where they're going to make a constellation or whatever? Like it's the stars that spell out McDonald's or whatever. Pepsi. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's so perfect that it's Pepsi and not even Coke. Coke just doesn't need to fuck with like advertising in the stars. They're still number one.

Whereas Pepsi is like creating a cold fusion generator to give birth to a new black hole. We have created a new galaxy and we'll simply read Mr. Pibb. I'm just so strong. The idea of like thousands of years into the future. Extraterrestrial life finds the barren remains of our planet with like our tomb world with nothing left except the giant Pepsi billboard. They worship these as gods.

Of course, there'll be an alternative blimp as well that they can sort of compare. The Pepsi blimp test. Here's the thing. They're not advertising Pepsi. They're advertising something much, much better. I'm just imagining a version of Interstellar where they go through the wormhole and it's confronted with a huge galaxy that says iron brew.

The system will promote, well, as its first client will, PepsiCo will use the system to promote, quote, a campaign against stereotypes and unjustified prejudices against gamers on behalf of a drink called adrenaline rush. Holy fucking shit. This can't be real. The constellation is meant to end prejudice against gamers. Yes.

This is absolutely a scam. Gamers seem really annoying and ubiquitous. Yeah, because it has to be. Because who's left on this planet? We don't say the G word on this. This is two guys with an office going, okay, we'll take all of your money in order to like put gamers rise up on the side of the moon. This is this has such a strong Soviet energy or just everything is like, what is that but in space?

Okay, you have heard of dogs. Yes, you understand the concept of dog. Okay, now imagine dog but in space. I'm just laughing because it's like, hey, sexy. There are very few people left on this planet who can truly navigate by the stars alone. And some of them are, you know, Polynesian fish. Remember other ones are people who just played a lot of the Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild. And so like in the grand scheme of things,

this might be a chance for gamers to prove themselves. I love the section of the Venn diagram, which is just Polynesian fishermen who have also played a lot of Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild and then being discriminated against. I mean, are they imagining just ordinary people will look up in the sky, see this thing and go, I was going to punch the living crap out of a gamer, but I won't now. I have a Pepsi instead. You know, it's called adrenaline rush. Oh, same great taste.

Same great taste, but with understanding for gamers. None of none of the gaming motivated violence. You know, it's because that's also like that's that's who we need to make sure we're combating negative stereotypes about is gamers. Yeah, it's not all gamers have heated gaming moments. So you do realize that the moment that gamers get control of an artificial constellation, they're just going to use it to like docks women journalists. There's people's phone numbers written in the sky, like, oh, yeah.

Call them and ask them or something like that. Why is the sky saying racial slurs? I can't wait to like, like they like they have my like my like my kid and just point out me like that's the big dipper. That's a Ryan's belt. That's sub to PewDiePie. Very cool. It's very it's very cool that they're like, you know what?

There's the one bit of the of not even the earth. There's one bit of like the field of experience of normal human beings. We haven't monetized yet. So let's put an ad for an energy drink about there that's targeted not to gamers, but towards people with bad opinions about gamers. The only legacy of our species. Exactly. I love the idea that like we might very soon enter in a period in human history where like

we can't even fly on planes and there's no way to get around outside between continents. And at some point we're like, like, you know, it'll be nostalgia to think back on these times when we used to like rearrange the stars to be nicer to gamers. Like this is the mirror concept of that being a priority. We used to be so insane. I love the idea would be if we do all of that. We have the Kessler syndrome.

We can't fly anymore. We certainly can't go into space, but it's still up there. We're just stuck on this dying world looking up. And ironically, at this point, the only drink is adrenaline rush because the oceans have dried up. Everything else is irradiated. Yeah, exactly. It's like idiocracy. Damn.

Damn, a documentary. My favorite thing though is to imagine like the aliens coming in thousands of years time when like that is the only thing that's left of our species. And they're just like cobbling together like bits of newsprint from the ad. And they were like, damn, I guess gamers must have been the slaves. They must have been the most discriminated. Gamers' game has built the pyramids. Great minds.

The gamers were Irish. I'll finish. I'll finish out this segment because here's the thing. That thing you said earlier about the Trump-Sartre collab, they kind of end in that energy. Oh, excellent. We are ruled by brands and events. Project leader Vlad Sitnikov told Futurism at the time, the Super Bowl, Coca-Cola, Brexit, the Olympics, Mercedes, FIFA, Supreme,

and the Mexican border wall. The economy is the blood system of society. What? Did you see that thing Pete Buttigieg did? When he had like a specimen of font and he created his own placeholder text, there was like just words a liberal might say. Liberalism. It was like corporate social responsibility, Black Lives Matter.

That's what this is. Lude together. It's part of me that just lasts because this is basically like a dark version of it. If the Soviet Union had made like a parody of Western capitalism, it's like, they're actually doing it in real life. This seems to be a frequent trope on this show that the USSR and the capitalist West sort of flipped. It's only like one or two degrees removed from the plot of Despicable Me, in which a man wants to steal the moon.

But in this case, it's like, I mean, why steal the moon when you can steal the stars, apparently. It's realistically, this is something that like a Bond villain would have done, but not a recent Daniel Craig Bond villain, where they all have realistic aims. This would have been in one of those racist James Bond movies, where like he changes into an Asian person or something. Which is real. I don't know if you've seen that, but there is a James Bond movie in which he literally gets like his skin changed to be Asian James Bond.

Yeah, that's a Pierce Brosnan one. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's happened twice. It's happened twice.

Wait, when did you come here? Sorry, wait, the Pierce Brosnan. Okay, then also, there was another case where something similar happened in The World Is Not Enough, where a North Korean guy gets like falls in like a vat of very sharp diamonds and then gets a plastic surgery to look white. Oh, yeah. Wow. Hey, when that happens.

I'll see you on Times. You can't do that in films and it was totally cool. So apparently this is now. But the idea is that it's as a disguise, right? Because he wants to pretend that he's like a Westerner, I don't know. Maybe Ralph Northam should have said that. After Jesus Christ. No, I mean, I agree.

It's fucked up the other way around. The other way around is just for people to accuse me of doing on Twitter. It's just. Also, crucially, like blackface is not trying to look like a black person. Like that's not what black people look like. It's really not. Okay, all right. That was that was going to be a quick hit from our friends at Start Rocket,

who have rearranged the stars who said to gamers, I will bring you the moon, but instead brought them the stars. Okay, so basically, because because we have an artist with us today, we decided we want to talk a little bit about creativity. Riley, first of all, thank you. The recognition I deserve a long last. That and all of your weird shirts that proclaim that you're a parent. 100%.

Usually it's proud Navy mom. Today it's Stanford dad. Yeah, I need to expand the collection. Which is like a polite way of saying your four shirts. Yeah, exactly. I need to just own more shirts. Sorry, I cut you off. What were you saying?

No, it's got the D print knees yourself. No, I bought this in the Stanford University merchandise store, which is huge. It's like a fucking Walmart and you can buy Stanford University anything. You can buy like Stanford University dog chews. They're incredible. And so I was in there with a mate of mine who wanted to go in there. And I was like, well, yeah, I was like, now I have to buy something in here

because it's so fucking weird. And then we are lighted on this Stanford dad t-shirt, which it was my birthday. So he bought it for me as a birthday present. And now it's one of the four. It's one of my four t-shirts. I only have room for four t-shirts, Riley. I don't have a house.

So we found, or by we, I mean, I have found five rituals that spark creativity at Amazon Pinterest and Flipboard. Flipboard. We're going to, yeah, Flipboard's like a fake. It's a news aggregator site. It's an app that basically you sign up by interest, but it's weird because it's terrible at recognizing the quality of sources. And so like, for example, if you sign up on Flipboard and you're like,

I want to look at it from news about electric cars, it just gives you every Tesla press release over and over and over again. Because that's what news is. Exactly. Yeah. That's the most objective. Yeah. It's like tortoise, but what if it was worse?

It seemed to be competed out of the market by getting your dick suck dog home. It's also hilarious. You sign up for UK politics. It's an American app. Have we talked about this on the show? No, no, no. We tweeted about it. I want to know, but I don't like it.

This is something. Welcome to how every listeners of this podcast always fails. This is something Milo and I were talking about the other day. How much money would it take to get a team of like pedigree, like crack, incredible journalists to do like hard news, investigative reporting, like the kind of stuff that journalism just isn't, doesn't really support anymore. And we were just able to make like run it at a loss.

And it's this incredible site. It's on every roundup, but the catch is it's called gettingyourdicksuck.com. And so everyone has to just cite this website because the journalism is incredible, but BBC has to run these like, like Cat Paul quite today says, gettingyourdicksuck.com underneath. I feel like they would get normalized really quickly. Like everyone rolled their eyes at the Washington Post's

democracy dies in darkness thing, but that was just there. You just have to get used to it. I mean, like the Daily Beast was a joke from a sitcom and they turned it into a site that's actually pretty well known. I mean, that's only a few steps removed from gettingyourdicksuck.com. The Daily Getting Your Dicksuck friends and the Daily Beast. Don't get cocky. You're only a couple of steps about gettingyourdicksuck.com.

A website which doesn't yet exist, but will. Look, if enough people donate to the Patreon, we will start gettingyourdicksuck.com, but then hire journalists and pay them well. We've never had our dick suck. So these are the five rituals that spur creativity at Amazon Pinterest and Flipboard. Creativity and innovation happen when people break the script,

as scare quotes, and make non-obvious connections. Rituals can provide a structure for people who want to switch to a creative mindset and push the boundaries of the ordinary. This is starting to sound like the Pete Buttigieg fucking weird racism text. Well, it's just kind of how companies try and co-opt all the cool trendy hippiness of art, isn't it?

Try to make it warm and fuzzy, while still being monolithic and faceless and evil. Without investing in art ever. Just struck by the idea of keeping the weirdness. So the Daily Rituals are actually real, like obscure Tumblr wit shit, you know. Just take this bag of thigh bones that we stole from a cemetery.

At Amazon, we came up with a new shock collar that won't quite kill employees. I thought about it while I was killing this chicken. What was that? Remember that woman who said that Amazon was incredible because she could get next day delivery on like dog torture? I do remember that woman.

It was me. Okay, so who wants to hear about the first of Rituals to Spark creativity at Amazon, Pinty, Flipboard, and others? Fire away. Number one, the idea party. Fucking it. Wait, how about this new name for the independent group?

Just the idea just burst out of the cake like Marilyn Monroe. An idea party is the way to celebrate the end of a workshop or other hands-on session and to loop the rest of your organization into creative work through a lightweight event. Oh yeah, I love when Jim Jones had one of those. The idea party is an event that should happen

right after a creative session in which the work product from the session is laid out like an art gallery. Ideas and insights are displayed on big phone boards and others are invited to mingle and tour around with drinks and snacks. They can ask questions, leave comments, and then rank which should move forward.

This ritual is meant to recognize the hard work of the team and then build on others' expertise to refine their creative work before moving forward. So that's quite a bit just like creating a piece of music, right? No, not at all. Again, it's just how they co-opt

quite natural process of musicians getting together, right? It's getting together and chilling and make it all about the bottom line. It's almost like you can't check out of work if that's happening, right? Before you chill, you've got to come up with a schedule to decide what the chilling is going to be.

There has to be a memo sent around to decide what you're going to be focused on during the chilling. I feel like also, I think about having done a corporate job before, like the idea that you can take that sort of environment of where everything is pressurized, where you're having to come up with things

that are supposed to impact the bottom line or like they're tied to your performance and your ability to keep your job and then somehow make that into this thing. Because I'm going, you, when we get together, if we like are fucking around doing a photoshop or something, there's just stakes involved. And that's a weirdly, like, I realized-

There's no stakes involved when we do the podcast. Yeah, exactly. But there's snacks though. But I thought about that because recently, when we did that, I was like, you know, it's weirdly like mentally refreshing when you can actually be creative and there aren't stakes involved.

And that I had not felt that in such a long time because I had been in a corporate environment before where you basically, there's no such thing. And so the idea that you can take one and put, unless Amazon is also going to not be like the horrible company that squeezes all the juice out of you and fires you like they are, I don't know how you can get that same kind of energy.

Well, it's performative at that point. They're the most successful juicero. They're the people juicero basically. You can just squeeze the employees with your hands. So that's the thing. It's like, it's- We do not recommend squeezing the employees with your hands. Always use the proprietary employee juicer.

It's at an event like this, right? It's everyone sort of performing how easygoing, loose, and creative they're being. Well, inside, just having the anal clench of, if I'm not chill, I'll lose my job. Here's an example. Some companies like to do these concept posters in a unique way.

For example, Amazon has teams create a cover story at the start in which the ideas at early stages are made into front page magazine covers. This is to build excitement and clarity. There's actually kind of precedent for this in the music industry too. They make out that you're just kind of having a nice chill writing session with a bunch of mates.

And if you're kind of eager to climb the music ladder, then you'll probably just hop along thinking this will be like a jam session while they're secretly taking all of your ideas and not giving you any credit for it. What the shit? Oh. I mean, that does happen.

Really? Ghostwriting sessions or, hey man, Drake called me in to be part of his ghostwriting team or just to like share ideas or whatever. Not me personally. But it does remind me of things that actually do happen in the music industry because it is that it's not just creativity, is it?

It's also bottom line. It's that any creative industry is like this. And like this is even this, because I'm reading this book right now called Against Creativity by this guy, Ollie Mold. And it's about how creativity when it is sort of personally directed is wonderful. It's one of the things that gives our lives meaning.

But the whole concept of creativity has been sort of quite limited. And so what you're really doing is instead of inventing something yourself, what you're doing is creating to a spec. It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? Because on the one hand, you have like genuine creativity,

like making a podcast with your friends about decks. There isn't marketable and isn't going to like sell. And on the other hand, you have the thing where you have to try and sort of be like Don Draper and get like this sort of sentimental creativity that's what if we sold people a projector or something? What if we sold people a projector into space?

Yeah, exactly. Races and billboards, it's toasted. What do gamers want to be thought of? Why adrenaline rush, it's for bitches. Don, you've done it again. Look, let's be honest, that's a monkey's paw wish right there. Like someone wished for like,

that their name would be written in the stars and then like the monkey's paw last finger curled in. And now it's been sort of granted in a very sort of cursed and ironic way. To Mr. and Mrs. Rush, a son, adrenaline. I want my son's name in the stars. A really just a really fucked up genie. So number two.

My son's name, Nazi moon base. Miley, you can't just say things that are actually true. Ironically, it has a huge fan to billboard on the side of the Nazi moon base because as we know, the Nazis invented banter. Coca-Cola, that's right. So number two, the fix-a-thon. When an organization has been talking

around a problem for a long time, a fix-a-thon is a ritual event to force people to focus on getting the problem solved. It takes the intensity of a hack-a-thon, relentless work in a concentrated spirit, and directs it to a specific innovation that needs to happen. So it's like, again,

how do we keep you really pressurized and panicked whilst acting really cool and trendy? Creativity's fun, right? Yeah, I was also thinking what you were talking about about the stealing people's ideas in a jam session kind of thing, because hack-a-thons are famous for that shit. They're like, hey, you can maybe get noticed

in the industry by being a part of this, but then it's like if you create something, they're asking, you have no rights to it. And so the spirit of a hack-a-thon is like, let's get a bunch of 15-year-olds and make them stay up for 100 hours coding except it's your job. I don't necessarily know if that's the spirit

they want to conjure up. The more tired you get 15-year-olds, the more it unlocks their inner genius. I have an example. Facebook regularly runs hack-a-thons and fix-a-thons in which teams have 24 hours to work on something they don't normally do day-to-day. Just to make people experience crisis.

Isn't that just community service? I love this, like working and reading, but they're trying to make it sound cool. What if we combined the experience of like a weird, like hippie free-fuel with the spirit of a North Korean labor camp? The kind of vibe we're looking for at Facebook. Comrade Zuckerberg, we can happily report

the goo factory has increased its output by 10%. Anyone from an intern to a senior employee can form in a team to create something new, which then will present to the executives showing off their prototypes for the, and here's what you get the chance for, the chance to get their development put into the main pipeline of projects.

Oh, great. Damn. I love it when that happens. Plain to fame. Love it. Hey, baby, you don't know what you know, but I actually made the Facebook algorithm a little bit more racist.

You know what this is? This is the building and model of the nuclear power plant thing. It's your Simpson's reference, right? Yes! I produced some of the best goo that Kim Jong-un has ever seen. I mean, just notice how many generals

were taking notes around it. They were impressed by all the goo, too. I don't give a special star to commend me for my excellent work, but I wasn't allowed to keep it because that would be capitalist. I remember that, I mean, you hear these stories about things like that where somebody,

you know, you go and work in a company like Google, if you're a full-stack developer or you're like a front-end developer or whatever, and like you might literally be working on the line of code that like makes the color wheel change color and that's your job. And obviously things like that change, but the idea that you're like,

wow, do we put into production? It's like, okay, but are you paying them more? Are you giving them more? Like, who knows? Oh, hell no. You're not going to own shit, exactly. And so in a way, it just seems like, hey, you know how hackers do these crazy things

to like make racist skin mods for video games? We want you to take that same energy, but make more money for us and you don't get shit for it. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And there are sense. I can't help envisaging this as an actual person.

I've actually seen somebody that feels like the embodiment of this whole process at a festival who had like looked really cool, got a top-notch and a waxed beard and seemed really affable and hipster-like, but was a total wanker. Do you know what I mean? Like, you know those sorts of people.

No, I don't know anyone like that. That description sounds like it could be a wanker hipster, but could also be Genghis Khan. Which would be fair. Also a controversial figure. With a top-notch. Yeah. Say some people did think he was quite the wanker

in the grand scheme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you remember that I vaguely recall this, but probably someone more intelligent talked about this, in medieval Europe, there were all these people who thought that Genghis Khan was the second coming of the Messiah,

because they just heard about this guy advancing from the East who was like amassing huge amounts of followers. And they sent all of these like Catholic bishops to go out and meet him and he just like culled their heads off. I remember reading the... They turned out they're like, dang, wrong guy, wrong guy.

No, I love the Messiah. They needed to have a hat, but that's what I call a hackathon. Yeah. There was, I remember my dad telling me about this, there was this book that he had to read when he was in the military a long time ago that was like a book about

like the leadership strategy of Genghis Khan, how he would take his leaders and they'd go on these rides and like the people who made it back, who didn't die in the process, like that's how they like proved them to be like worthy of being lieutenants or whatever. It's like, yes, but I don't know if, I mean,

granted, tech companies kind of do that now, where it's just sort of like, you wind up dying in the process because you work 100 hour weeks long and have to be keeled over. Here's a fun thing. I have one of those builds on that. Oh, fucking hell yeah, let's do it.

Here's, here's, I'm skipping a ritual and going to ritual four. The surprise ride along. Oh, good. That's when we make you all ride in a cop car and they just go around just fucking pulling people over. Close. The surprise ride along is a way to disrupt a project

with leaders whisked away from offices and boardrooms and into the field. They are challenged to set aside their preconceived plans and spend the day listening, watching, and observing the people actually working to show how the project is meant to benefit. Isn't that like undercover boss? Yep.

Yes. Whoa. I'm sure there's not going to be any kind of like retribution or anything from this like executive surveillance. It's all going to be there listening and learning. You are going on, my good, my good friend, you're going on a special surprise ride along at the Lockheed Martin factory in Washington DC.

So here's the tip. The organizers should arrange the ride along like a surprise party. The team members should have no idea it's coming and they should think they're going to be going to work just as usual. Make it as much like extraordinary rendition as possible. I'm talking Black Hoods bundled into a van.

You'll put on a plane. They start playing that Black Hawk down music. You're convinced you're in Somalia. That actually is the Genghis Khan ride along. The idea was that like it was completely unannounced. Nobody knew. They thought it was just a regular day of whatever the hell their daily life was.

It's like they're daily pillaging. They're daily step galloping. And instead they just went out and it's like, well, if you die, you die. And the ones who live, they're fit to rule or whatever. It's like, that's exactly how I want my economy organized. Exactly. It's very fun that a lot of these rituals

that are used to spur creativity in large tech companies really seem to run the gamut from cult to Genghis Khan. Damn. Culturally operating stuff Genghis Khan came up with. Well, it could seem quite benign on the outset, you know, until you get your head checked off. Genghis Khan. Yeah.

Absolutely. Genghis Khan was the first CEO when you think about it. It was a growth market. Yeah. I mean, Genghis Khan liked to symbolize. And strongly in favor of gamers. Yeah. Genghis Khan liked to symbolize, you know,

the conflicting demands of the various stakeholders in a project. And he got his team members to like feel what that was like by tying each of their limbs to a different horse and having them run in different directions. But by literally having them hold on to sharpen stakes. I'm going to run through a couple more of these, but then we do need to, we do need to carry on.

But guys, this is a serious point here. Look, there's like always, there's just so much. If the world was marginally less stupid and terrible, then we could usually get like what feels like a review that does it justice in to an hour or twice a week. But there's just never enough time. No. This is why we need to start streaming FIFA.

So if I can just say whatever's on my mind, we'll play FIFA. It's just sloz. I was going to say you need some heated moments. Yeah. I can say terrible things about the Irish. So the failure, the failure wake party. The failure wake party is a way to celebrate

the failure of an experiment. It should encourage the team to take risks and to have closure. Team members get together around food, music, and so on. Leaders can say a few words about what's happened. Thank all the team members and remind them that it's okay to fail. And the person who's getting fired

has to lie motionless on the table and pretend to be dead. This ritual has been used by a pharmaceutical company to keep employees engaged and motivated in an environment where a high percentage of failure is normal. It's set up like a wake, a party after death. And now a word from our Argentinian scientific representative, Dr. Joseph Mengeleo. Absolutely.

Oh, wonderful. Finnegan's idea wake. Also, yeah, that's the thing, when like, you know... Finnegan's not dead, he's just canceled. When Purdue Pharmaceuticals like fucked up and invented an overprescribed fentanyl, then they had to have a wake for the idea specifically, the main casualty of the fentanyl debacle.

Yeah, that's all they had to have an idea wake because no one real died. Most of you fly on the wall at the Enron ideas, wake. Which has to be followed by some actual wigs. Just incentivize failure, basically. Yeah, we can't fuck up because we're so venture capital funded. So we're just going to keep doing shit and... Move fast and break things.

Yeah, like democracy or people's like, you know, limbic systems. Yeah. Move fast and break things, another Genghis Khan tactic. I feel like we're discovering a synergy there. I was going to say, at some point, we're just going to have to write the Genghis Khan CEO book. Like, our business book is based on how to raid the steps of Central Asia. How to be Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan.

Anyway, that has strong title contending to your potential. Business Mongol. There's another much darker direction that could get it. So here's the last one. The Skillshare Festival. It's a lot like a music festival, but it's shitty and boring. Because that's the thing. It's like the V Festival.

All of these creative endeavors. This is sort of the building on what you were saying earlier. All these creative endeavors. It's so weird and sanitized and pressurized, where it's everyone's acting like they're having a good time. They're acting like they're not stressed about losing their jobs. But also, all of these things have all the aesthetics of fun and enjoyment. Bean bags.

Yeah. How can you not have fun when you're on a bean bag? It's a bag full of beans. What a ridiculous idea. What kind of kooky character came up with this? Somehow a 14 hour shift just feels much, much shorter when you're on a bean bag. I'd love to crack open a non-alcoholic adrenaline rush with that guy. It just makes it so much worse.

You have to pretend that you're having a great time. When A, you know you're at work. And B, it's like something shitty like a Skillshare festival. You can't even like, you know, lie down. I'm smuggling cats into the Skillshare festival. Your Pinterest text. So if you're like into like baking or something, you'd come and share it with a bunch of people at work.

Yeah. What if you don't have any interests? Just do spreadsheets. That's, that's to you. What if your interest was this podcast? Just explaining the podcast to people. Like, no, it's called getting your dick sucked up. Well, the thing is, the debate is actually between whether the dragon is his dick

or whether he's actually riding another smaller dragon that just looks like his dick because of the positioning. No, he's not Brendan O'Neill. He's, no, sorry, I'm going to stop doing this. So again, it's this creating a festive environment so people can stop, you know, crushing themselves on spreadsheets to make them more efficient at later crushing themselves on spreadsheets. It's like, it's like if the juicero asked politely before squeezing the bag.

Decanting all of our workers into a convenient ball pit. I mean, I just think there's a longer irony in it as a jazz musician as well. It's thinking about how we're often employed to create the illusion of having fun. Like we're just on stage jamming, making up music. And if you think about the origins of the music, people were actually often oppressed by having to create this illusion that we're having all this, all this fun and coolness. And isn't it wacky and creative? Wait, they weren't having fun.

Of course, post-black people were having a wonderful time in the Southern states. Of like the really like a really dumb slave owner who thinks he's just running a summer camp. Like everyone's having a wonderful time. Ready to go down on the swimming hole. Jesus. Yeah, I mean, that's that's part of it. Like literally creating that illusion and pretending that everything's fine. Everything's okay here because the cognitive dissonance of having to confront

the violence, the inequality that's behind this apparently joyful sound is too much. Yeah, this will know that's that's let's let's follow that just like this podcast. Let's say let's follow that for a sec. It's like a lot of a lot of creativity isn't just something that spontaneously happens because you get put into a ball pit. It is something that does happen to like get round adversity. And also with the failure thing too, that you don't have empirical outcomes with creativity. A lot of the music that we celebrate today was discarded literally by the industry.

Nobody thought jazz was going to be a multi-million dollar. Everyone thought hip hop was just a waste of time. Let's stick with disco is just a bunch of crazy black and Hispanic kids spinning on cardboard who wants to listen to that and look where we are today. And then it get but then and then that's what happens. It gets it's it's the it's like there's that great baffler article commodify your descent right where there is there's nothing you can create that hasn't already been anticipated by someone from like a Coca-Cola executive who's going to put it on a t-shirt.

Like remember remember that at a while ago when when Pepsi had Kendall Jenner leading a fake protest and just enjoying the conversation and gave someone a Pepsi when she gave a police officer a Pepsi. She gave a cop a Pepsi. Totally fixed everything. Yeah so famously the cops are really cool with protesters and like it when they get gifts from them. Famously happens a lot in America.

Hey hey the cops chill out. Have an adrenaline rush. Oh god. And then the cop takes over. I did hear a story about somebody doing that to an actual cop at a protest and handing them a Pepsi which they had just shaken up beforehand. Did not respond to it well. Damn that's now she is.

Now that's what I call praxis 69. I can't wait for someone to go fund go tell you go fund me a blue lives matter to make that cops to hit a little bit better but writing it in the stars. A cop with just like Pepsi dripping down his face going well now I really hate gamers for some reason. Going back to what this all strikes me as is all of these all of these rituals that we're talking about are there to create the semblance of people coming together to do something that they want to do but to sap all of that energy and turn it into you know like a new line for

the Facebook algorithm or a new kind of like fentanyl or whatever. Yeah well the great binary in music as well is that for us as creatives it's often about creating stuff that brings people together different demographies different ages playing music that unites different people who can't even speak each other's language often. The industry is about subdividing people putting them in little nice boxes so you can market things to the under 25s and to this demographic and this ethnographic subcategory etc etc and that's kind of what delineates it in the industry. It's like how can we commodify it all basically.

Yeah the thing is in that field of music it's not really the creativity rituals so much as the space between the creativity rich. How about the skills they don't share. My secret skills. In the case of someone who's interested in this podcast it literally it should be about the interest they don't share. Please don't. Do not tell your employer that you like this podcast.

Any case. Gettingyourdicksuck.com is a patented idea you cannot steal it. I've already been thinking it's going to be called guides right or gids so that's what they do when they meet you. All right you're in. This has been brought to you by gids. I've got a first angel investor it's happening. I'll do the theme chain at least.

Literally you log on it plays it. And then a gratuitously long saxophone. Like like seven minutes of like Dave Brubeck style. It starts off slow and build up to a chastral crescendo with the sax up front. But we have to emphasize people will sit through it because the journalism is amazing. That's the bottom line. That's why we hear people. Donate to the patreon so we can make this happen please.

We will get Zizek for gettingyourdicksuck.com. Well the irony of the site is that actually gettingyourdicksuck is something of an outdated concept in my opinion. So sorry Romanian Joker Zizek this is now. I mean Zizek does sound like the Romanian Joker. That was really good thank you. I can see him he's here in the studio. He's here in the studio rubbing his nose.

So I think that so these are the rituals of creativity. It's going to be how long until they do human sacrifice. Let me tell you about my five productive rituals that are called dawn prayer morning afternoon. Slowly influencing creeping Sharia. Wonderful. So just to wrap things up today I found a I found I could not help but have found this article because sometimes the article just it was written in the stars. In a sense sort of I look that's the other thing.

Number one thing we're going to do when the patreon finally gets Chapo money is gettingyourdicksuck.com. Number two it's going to be writing this particular article in the stars. He's going to be like the opening crawl of a Star Wars. Is it just going to be telling you this though. But it's telling you to respect gamers and to join my NATO or watch critical thinking die by Nile Ferguson. Is this going to be like the original NATO and then it's mostly going to be stocked with

former Nazis. Sounding the label klaxon right there. NATO stands for not actually technically owned. What's that technically libel I don't know I mean no it's a historical fact most of the like West German military afterwards after the war were like rehabilitated former Nazis. Yes rehabilitated right 70 years ago this month Ferguson writes NATO was established to protect Western Europe and the freedoms of its inhabitants from this threat of Soviet communism.

It has become clear to me that we now need a similar organization to protect Western intellectuals from a growing threat to academic freedom. We need nukes because people keep replying to me on Twitter with the image of a guy pooping onto his own balls. Is he suggesting that we need some kind of academic safe space. Safe space exactly for a liberal snowflakes. And in those days a small but courageous group of Western academics did what they could do to expose the wickedness of communism which was not obviously talked about in the western

academe. They did extremely the extremely courageous thing and took money from the CIA and to support political and religious dissidents in the Soviet sphere of influence. A member of that group was Roger Scruton who recently did quite an and this is me editorializing recently did a quite spicy interview with a friend of the show George Eaton which I recommend you go read in the new statesman in fact the background of this is that he was then sacked because of all the batshit insane things he said. So Ferguson is basically coming to his defense in this article as has Jordan Peterson like

there's a whole bunch of that come as academics Dave Rubin the same people that are all friends with Barry Weiss Douglas Murray truly truly an avengers united of people you don't want to be defended by the Injustice League. Well I mean I appreciate Hitler Jr's sentiments but I feel he's not helping my case. During the 1980s Scruton traveled to communist controlled Czechoslovakia to assist an underground education network run by Czech dissident Julius Toman in 1985 during a trip to burnout Scruton was arrested and expelled it's implied for having an opposing view which I'd like to add here please remember that Niall Ferguson teamed up with a group of student republicans

to wage a covert battle against his own student who he deemed to left wing conduct opposition research on him and I believe try to get him kicked out of the university. He did and he also employed one of his students who was getting a I think it was a PhD student in economic history to basically attack the student and try to like use that the credentials of his econ history PhD to be like actually I know what I'm talking about it's econ 101 like basically he's not confident enough to argue this on his own so instead he as a professor somehow enlists students grad students to also harass his undergrads. Yeah and this was just like to stop him getting owned in like seminars or tutorials.

Yeah amazing this is even worse than that the students were protesting probably one of his books about why you know colonialism was good and so this wasn't even one of his students as I understand it with the undergrad in question were just students who were basically protesting the fact that now Ferguson got like a visiting fellowship from Stanford. That's free speech. He was mad that they were protesting and they hadn't even inconvenienced him in his own classroom they just existed and thus they had to be destroyed. So I just still can't get over the idea of Roger Scruton going to Czechoslovakia as like

an undercover intellectual to help out these like anti-communist dissidents just because like all of Roger Scruton's interests are like insane and abstruse he's going like yes well as you know the worst thing about the communist regime in Czechoslovakia is they're taking away all the Corinthian columns and promoting the idea of clitoral stimulation. All the dissidents are like uh yes. We were more worried about the gulags but okay guess also this one of his own students would have been like okay here's what we're gonna do we're gonna tell them they're coming for him and that he has to run.

Yeah Roger Scruton sneaks in at like a wooden crate of aid and they think his weapons to the anti-communist resistance and it's just a bunch of really racist salt and pepper shakers. The really personally slightly tragic thing for me is I remember I was at Oxford as an undergraduate doing history and now Ferguson was this dashing new lecturer who had come up with this idea of counterfactual history and back then I guess everyone could sort of posture as without an ideology. Could sort of have this air of veracity because he's an Oxford don a very young one and could sort of go around pontificating about what history is all about and over time they've just been exposed as lunatics.

And I think also as total academic frauds too in the sense that like when you actually get down to what they're arguing if you if you go line by line it's just absurd. I mean like it's not it's not necessarily it's not like fabricated but it's such a obvious on its face bad faith reading of things. You're like how did this person ever get popular then you realize like oh yeah because Steven Pinker is popular and he writes books about cloud ships and fucking. And it's a whole end of history stuff. It was unassailed you know we won everything's great with neoliberalism. There's no such thing as an ideology of neoliberalism. We are the winners.

They were all fearing for their jobs at the end of history because they were all doing history. The history was going to run out. They needed to do an ideas festival was by far the most malign of these because he was like sort of like the most transparent defender of empire and so he would be writing these things like ah so there's the so-called tolerant left wants a safe space in this square down Ritzer and they're afraid of rational. I mean a little bit of massacre never hurt anybody what what. The blighters. Yeah it's free speech to do that but then to say you shouldn't do that.

That's a Stalinism. It's also it's also bad when communists do that but it's good when we do it. Thought police. Yeah exactly. I love the fact that thought police meme gets thrown out. It's thought terrorists versus thought freedom fighters essentially. Until you put on your dungarees and then it's good when communists do it and bad when everyone else does it. I hate it when the Thot Ja Hadin get their funding cut by the damn libs. Now Thot Ja Hadin is an Instagram account I would absolutely follow. For different reasons.

So, strutting. It's like I'm selling me a lot of it with a photoshopped huge ass. Just already talking about my new brand Jesus. Alice I might want you to jump in with the with the sex stuff after this. Oh please yeah. Ferguson writes. Scrutin has one of the most powerful minds I have ever encountered. No.

The one of the smartest brains. Roger Scrutin can move small objects by nothing but squeezing his eyes closed and thinking about a vagina. That's wonderful. Roger Scrutin or as we call him Magneto. But he is one of those rare thinkers who seeks to change the world as well as understand and explain it. Again no other thinker has ever said that in some kind of thesis on Feuerbach maybe. Why do all these guys always end up in America too? Like Scrutin moved to the States a while back so did Neil Ferguson.

They love a rumpled English dick head don't they? Yeah basically they got the accent. Yeah it sounds hot. The accent and like the the imprimatur of like the the institutions that they got their degrees at makes people think they must be smart when when you actually moved to Britain as an American like me. You're like well people are dumb as shit. We must we must not only seek to understand the Hamburglar but also to use what we had learned to change the world in a positive direction.

Yeah here's this is also funny. Fucking Niles Statham over there. There was a time when these qualities were venerated in 1998. He was awarded the Czech Republic's Medal of Merit by its then president Václav Havel himself a former dissonant. And I also note again editorially about the evils of the clitoris. I also note here editorially that Scrutin and former dissonant Victor Orbán are also very close friends. Excellent very cool. It's all about what you're a dissident against isn't it really.

I mean like Hitler was at one point a dissident. I like that we're sort of a hate figure podcast for tankies and stuff and yet the line that we're taking here is I think correctly. Well when the Soviets said that a lot of these dissidents were actually just fascists and weirdos. They were entirely right. I had a point. I hope they were thought freedom fighters. Let's not forget that. Well get it right.

Damn everyone was bad. This is just remember how everything that that the that the change UK proposes is not connected to ideology but it's just facts and everything everyone else does is ideology. This is like that. It's that when they're trying to like you know do oppo research on their students for who keep embarrassing them in seminars or protesting. That's the thought police. Whereas any time anyone just tells them please stop saying that actually the Indians had it coming. That's a Stalinism.

So I carry on a month rarely passes without some such tale of a conservative academic being quote unquote taken down. Actually sorry before I go into that Alice can you please reveal what he has. Keep talking about vaginas. This is delightful. OK let me read you this paragraph. This is by Roger Scrooge and so this is a quote. I'm literally rubbing my hands in anticipation. Consider the woman who plays with her clitoris during our act of coition.

Such a person affronts me with the obscene display of her body and in perceiving her thus I perceive my own irrelevance. She becomes disgusting to me and my desire may be extinguished. The woman's desire is satisfied at the expense of mine and no real union can be achieved between us. Roger Scrooge and please leave this strip club. He told you to stop coming here. It's the only union he's ever been in. Closes that laptop and discuss. Roger Scrooge was actually fighting a dissident campaign to stop the Czech Republic's communist

government's campaign against horniness. So he and the horniest men in England had to sneak in through the Austrian border to just get everybody fired up but no woman is allowed to ever feel any pleasure because then the impression is ruined for me. Yeah that was going to bring some horny people with us from Austria but they were all busy. Well that's a great thing. Remember like that so many of these conservative academics their whole shtick is basically to take their individual psychoses and just generalize them.

It's like well obviously the female orgasm is gross and weird. Like of course I'll put that in my philosophy book. Alice I got to ask so that was in one of his books. I believe so. Yeah on sexuality. Yes. Oh because clearly the book I want to read on sexuality is by Roger fucking. Hell yeah.

I love the thing about just getting down. I want to see him writing a book about fucking sexuality. I want to see him just going to town his high IQ haircut bobbing up and down. What surprised me though is he also became a social justice warrior against female genital mutilation or something in the same breath because of the. Well he thinks that's just what happens if you like touch it never. So two things. First of all externally obviously Roger scrutiny is the love child of Ian McKellen

and John Hurt. We've established this and second of all I forgot what the second thing was. What was I going to say? Second of all. So you got distracted by all the fucking awesome and sexy images of Roger scrutiny getting down to business. Just thinking about Roger scrutiny like stroking your hair rubbing your shoulders. Oh yeah.

I can never I can never imagine Roger scrutiny being young though. Like the youngest I can imagine him being is like Stephen Ray. The man's like Jacob Rees-Mogg. Yeah. He was never young. Yeah. No the second thing is that Roger scrutiny is like so ridiculous public intellectual that he's wrapped all the way around into being a character from

the soprano is always like eating pussy is gay. He's just junior soprano because junior soprano eats pussy but denies it. A month rarely passes without some tale of a conservative academic being quote unquote taken down. In March it was the turn of the Canadian psychologist several months that go past academics do have their job. And also also like a vast conspiracy against conservative academics is the only reason that they keep getting embarrassed in public.

It couldn't be anything else. They're saying anything embarrassing. The things that they say and believe and do. No that's just freedom of speech. It can't be any of those things who won't even investigate that as an option. No don't be ridiculous. Powerful mind. In March it was the turn of Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson who was informed by Cambridge

that his visiting fellowship had he had been offered at the Faculty of Divinity was being cancelled. That's like getting murdered basically. It's exactly like getting murdered. The reason at a book signing he had been photographed standing next to a man with a t-shirt bearing the in parentheses obviously facetious slogan I'm a proud Islamophobe. Is that obviously facetious in any way? Two weeks before the Christchurch shoes thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Niall Ferguson is a historian but his history kind of he hasn't taken in new information since 1992. That's the key issue. Unless it pertains to him personally. The last thing he can remember is the film basic instinct. I'm getting really frightened of it.

What an obscene display of sexuality. Reclose those legs at once. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like it is more important that we give Jordan Peterson the benefit of the doubt and in so doing keep giving him prestigious and lucrative jobs which is what the benefit of the doubt means. I'm working on a grand unified theory of these guys which is that they're all a different kind of

twist of weirdo right? Like go on. Niall Ferguson is the kind of guy who has like a bulldog avi and like gets up and your mentions after you say something about how Britain might be bad to talk about the Nazis. Jordan Peterson obviously is like a gamer gay guy. This guy is like because the thing that he got in trouble for he got fired for like an architecture commission right? Yeah.

Build it better. Build it beautiful commission. Screw it. Screw it. Yeah. So he's the walking version of one of those like fetishistic western architecture twisters that Nazis like. He's fucking statue Twitter basically.

Yes. Yeah. Well they like post pictures of like Rococo abbeys in Austria and like yes so wonderful. The rifle could never could never be made now. Their whole stick is like this weird kind of like clumsily curated western culture superior thing and it's always like Greek and Roman statues or you know high-resonance paintings and be like this is what white people created and it's like fuck's sake okay great. That is definitely a type and I think to your point Alice it feels like somebody like Roger

Scruton while he couldn't necessarily be on Twitter saying like only white people can create true art if he writes that in you know sort of philosophical wrapping paper then he basically is making the same argument. I wonder how they respond to like new things like the Elgin marbles were actually painted or you know cheddar man existed. That's fake news. It's like the parkourful story about John Ruskin the art critic who like he got married and he almost fainted when he saw his wife because all of the statues that he'd seen

had no pubic hair so he just didn't know what it was. Anyway so some breaking news to like in off the off the ticker. Someone has done some praxis because not for damn cathedral is now on fire so right as I was saying that damn must be the Muslims again. Those hordes of invaders and infidels yeah. The Visigoths are back. When I say I want a goth gf this is what I mean. So before before that even it was US political scientist Samuel Abrams who now faces tenure

review at Sarah Lawrence College in New York tenure review also like being murdered. I hate when people review my tenure his thought crime an article pointing out that academic administrators were even more left leaning than professors. I looked into this it's not what Nile Ferguson says obviously he don't really know Ferguson being intellectually dishonest shocker. I remember that Abrams I can't remember precisely what his no no no this guy but I don't remember precisely what his his like insane bugbear is. Look I wouldn't be me if I didn't have this in front of me already. Of course is he a race science guy because that's why he's in my head.

To do with like a like a LGBT or trans student club thing. No no this is this isn't the startup segment I will be I'll just be telling you you don't have to guess. As a conservative leaning professor who has long this is from the Samuel Abrams is writing I'm not a conservative leaning professor. Well as a conservative leaning professor who has long promoted a diversity of viewpoints among my very liberal faculty and colleagues in my classes. What a nice guy. Yeah thanks for promoting a conservative viewpoints. You know where this is going. I was taken aback by the college's sponsorship of politically lopsided events. Abrams said he soon learned that the office of student affairs in his campus was organizing

many overtly progressive events programs with names like stay healthy and stay woke microaggressions and worst of all understanding white privilege without offering. For any event promoting health there should be an event promoting sickness. Like he used to write articles for big tobacco so yeah no this is balance. Dude tobacco is an excellent product because it whithers the clitoris. Tobacco you know he's just like just repeating 1960s cigarette ads like toasted baby. The western tradition is to talk about how you need flavor in your T zone in order to stave off cold. So understanding white privilege without offering any programming that offered

a meaningful alternative. Not understanding white privilege. Probably his classes to be fair were misunderstanding white privilege. And yet when I tried to host it just a helpful seminar on why don't we put the gollywogs back on the jam. Suddenly. Just for some perspective all of a sudden. There they come. All the fuzzy wassies at once. It just tastes better. That's the thing. It's like you can sense the panic in the behind the words. We talked about this before about how the word intersectionality is there's like there's a very small cadre of people who've actually read Kimberly Crenshaw and everybody

else is just angry dads through right for right wing magazines. We're furious by and whenever they see it in college any context whatsoever they just lose their minds because they're convinced there's like they're trying to make it illegal to be white. It's like to be fair we are. We don't have intersectionality in Oxfordshire. Thank you. It's against the law to be British. Now where is it should be legal to be pussy. Contraband. It's like it's like remember let's go back to what Ferguson wrote that this guy his thought crime pointing out that academic administrators are more left leaning than professors when

actually what he's trying to do is offer counter programming to understanding white privileged seminars that's very different. I would love to let him run it though. I want to know what the counterpoint because I feel like that's one of those things where like he would get all horned up for the idea of running the counter seminar but then he would actually find it extremely difficult to know what he was talking. So he's like well. He'd be like Eminem at the first rap battle. He's like yeah I am a fucking bum. I do live in a trailer with my mom. And let's not go ahead and tell these people something they definitely already think they

know which is the Empire was fine actually. Oh you think that white privilege is a thing whatever you heard of a little young man known as Eminem and let's not forget professors Nigel Bigger and Bruce Gilley both did as a man his name you cannot spoonerize. He's like these are he's our magneto he is too powerful. The boy who lived Nigel both Bruce Gilley both denounced last year for daring to point out that not every aspect of the history of the British Empire was a crime against humanity. I could go on but you get the picture. It's remarkable how little the dial is like shifted. I've been saying literally the same thing for 20 years. Slavery did some

actually quite commendable things. We built railways in India for fucks like railways. Railway trains. Who doesn't like trains? The left love trains. And suddenly when we build them. Everybody loves sugar. I'm not asking any questions about how we got it. Did they love their Indian restaurants with spices? Why do you think we got the spices? Yes but slavery was bad but now Bristol has a lovely concert hall. Who doesn't love concerts? Is there a whole thing is that it's anything any my new challenge to the world view that they got in like GCSE history is considered beyond the panel. It's like TERFs right? Like their thing about there's only two genders and you can't change

them and I know that because I did eighth grade biology and I'm not going to pay attention to any science after that. I know this because I did a QA history at a level. Thank you very much and that means that I saw that cartoon of Hitler and Stalin are equally bad and nothing else and I'm not going to like challenge or learn anything. Absolutely not. The whole thing is like I've brought this this is a comparison I've made in the past I think it's appropriate to make again is that every time you see these people who offer these high-minded defenses of sort of of that how they are generals of the mind or whatever. Let me say high-minded women. It's a lot like being super high. Being like hotly condescended to by someone reading a book

upside down like it's just they never do any fucking work like they're all purportedly historians went what actual study do they do besides teaching these endless seminars about like the dressed up version of it's okay to be white. I'm so fucking pissed that I have to have these fucking sclerotic contrarians taking up space in my mind I have better things I could be doing. I've been getting into Red Dead Redemption. I have this guy on the job. Instead I'm doing this and from now on and there are some tiny parts of my brain. Roger fucking Scruton is going to be there and I have to remember who he is. So thank you for this right. But dragging my figure is now occupying.

Alice stumbles into a storage room of her mind palace and there is that Roger Scruton being have you ever considered fingers. Stole the clitoris here's the here's the other there are two kinds of universal element to these conservative articles. One is everything I learned about everything I learned in economics 101 or gsc se history or eighth grade biology. The other thing is where they accidentally admit that everyone hates them. The most striking feature is the near complete isolation of the target. Did Abrams's colleagues step up to defend the academic freedom his academic freedom rather on the contrary 40 of his fellow professors endorsed the student's the student leftist demands that his tenure be reviewed.

You know what this is like though it's it's it's not on the right but do you remember that article Gixieck wrote about just getting owned by his kid. It was like I shit down for dinner with my son and he tells me to go fuck myself and like he just why would I do this is a waste of time. I could have a machine fuck itself while I think about James Joyce or something. Yeah it's clearly if this is just widely disliked by everyone around him because he wants to lead a seminar on misunderstanding history. I just feel like there's this underlying current between all these people and between the people that defend them certainly the the ones of a certain age that defend them and want to go on about like the snowflakes etc. It's basically my dad loved Winston

Churchill. He didn't love me but I have to love my dad will love me. I read Scruton's biography in preparation for this and there's some strong issues content there. So he's he was a grammar school boy he went he grew up in like the Midlands I think and his dad was hardcore revolutionary communist which King. He's he's said before the Corbin reminds me of his dad and my favorite detail when I picked out is daddy is that when he told his parents that he'd gotten into a place at Cambridge his father stopped speaking to him. Just body. I hate you Jeremy I mean dad. My father also jammed and it always it always stuck with me how he would tear the gollywags from the labels and I would collect the little pieces and stick them back together and make hand puppets of them enjoying

their work tilling the fields. And the problem is like now picking the Marows. Now. Oh boy we grow a lot of Marows on this hill. Marows. You've been you've been going to some strange places with the accents today. I'm just enjoying the idea of a Louisiana Marrow. Oh yeah so that's that's that's the cool thing. I don't know what the fuck a mirror is. Oh it's like a it's like a big cool it's like a big zucchini. If you if you google it looks like a like this big one. Yeah I've never heard that word English. That's vegetable. So the French word courgette is a small a small courge which is a Marrow. Okay okay okay okay I get it now. Yeah I'm so confused. You could read it on my face. I'm like what I thought I thought you were just upset

by the accent. No I know what a Marrow is. I was upset by the accent. I just intended to know what it is so you'd stop doing the accent. Yeah you know I get it. That's how we got ourselves another classic conundrum down here. Nobody knows what a Marrow is in any of these days. Goddamn it. I don't even know. So planning for the New Bristol Transform but it's just so sexual. You go to that Marrow movie and one had a Marrow. You used to joke about this. You could buy a Marrow on every street corner. When I tried to do an English accent Marrow makes fun of me because I wouldn't say like. I don't do one though. No I wouldn't say like a Canadian Australian basically whereas when Milo does a Southern American accent it's like he went south of New Orleans and went into the

ocean. No one knows about it anymore. I'm drinking BP oil spill. Yeah he's and now you're ready to be a conservative intellectual. Huge. So the article concludes. Why does it tell us about a Hamburg but he only steals a Hamburg but he never steals a Marrow. The lesson of the Cold War is clear which should have annihilated all of us so I didn't have to listen to those terrible accents. I thought that was a genuine quote from the article. The lesson from the Cold War is clear. I was like go on. My dick was hard in anticipation of that. This is from the actual article. The lesson from the Cold War is clear. From now on an attack on one of us must be considered an attack on all of us. I therefore invite all who believe in the fundamental human freedoms

to sign a new non-conformist academic treaty. I like that nobody's going to do this. In 2005 you could at least do like a Houston manifesto for like muscular liberalism and principled intervention. Now you just print this thing. You don't actually expect anyone to sign the fucking thing. It's wonderful. It's like intellectual Brian Adams because it's all for one and all for just saying the white privilege isn't a thing. We have to defend our right because when you think about it can you form at that in 14 words? It is amazing to me because many of the things they're complaining about is it someone wrote a mean article about me or even not even a mean article. Just like an article that's critical of what I've said or someone said something

disrespectful to me on Twitter. And the worst thing is that's relatable. Like when somebody says something mean about me on Twitter I am like I have been murdered. This is worse than having murdered me. I too want to invoke the NATO Charter and invade Afghanistan because somebody made fun of me on Twitter. I hate it when gettingyourdicksuck.com factually reports something I said. It really does come down to it should be illegal for people to disagree with me. Also bristling with sexual inadequacy and obsolescence. I think that's underpinning it all to these women don't need me to pressure themselves. They've got the merrows. They can touch themselves however they want. The other thing they've seen spectacle a woman, a pleasure in herself in a

barrel. It just has an advertising this in some hideous country show. Step this way for it's woman. That's a fine vegetate. Well look the one thing I think it is important to remember right is that these guys aren't just wanting to be agreed with and liked. It's like the one thing that they're trying to do but they also have these incredible grifts they're trying to preserve. Roger Scruton just gets to like do a loose sort of word association about how like his weird sexual hangups and then he gets paid an enormous sum of money for it. Now Ferguson gets to never have learned anything new since he was 15 and get paid an enormous sum of money for it. Like what we get to do is get paid a small amount of money for it. So what I think what Ferguson

is really talking about is actually like no we have an incredible grift going. We need to stand firm to make sure we keep stacking this paper. We have secured the bag. We must keep the bag. And that's it. Like insecurity of tenure is something that Nicola Roddick, Professor, did great work about how black female academics find it impossible to ascend the academic ladder in most British universities. That's actually meritocracy. If they did stem subjects of course. It's the sheer incapability of any kind of self-reflection upon like the Nile Ferguson and Richard Dawkins of the world. You know if they were able to think about this for five seconds then he wouldn't have written an article talking about how like

it's basically it's a Stalinism when like when my friend tries to start a misunderstanding white supremacy seminar and gets his tenure reviewed for it. Meanwhile, as you're saying, like black female academics are even like controlling for representation are still underrepresented in getting tenure. Right. And it's something that every black professor I've met has had to contend with. After shift universities, the faculty is not going to be supported this year, etc. The idea that this calcified racism has just kind of stayed in place for at least 20, 30 years, unchallenged and probably way longer than that obviously is what's so terrifying to them. And it does tie into the, you know, I say again, the sexual

insecurity. It's just everything was fine before you stopped, started putting your hands down there. Nothing's wrong with being calcified. It suits me perfectly fine. So I'll wrap up the article here because it finishes on quite a sentence. Considering the conversation we've just had, it fitters on quite a sentence. The present danger to free thought and speech is not red army tanks pouring through the folder gap in Germany. It is the red army. As if it would be that. It is the red army of mediocrities waging war and descent within academia and the media. This is, this is Milo's friend, O'Neill. That's not real.

Damn, it's the chassering classes again. The mediocrities waging descent. Because if you agree with me, then you must be mediocre and thereby jealous. Because nothing I've done is mediocre. Hence my book about why women touching themselves makes me unhappy. Yeah, this is why I was able to write, the empire was actually okay five. This time it's about the railways in Burma. And you have to contextualize it with the whole roads must fall movement and just students and people saying, actually, there's an alternative view.

So you didn't learn that in GCSE history, so it doesn't count. No, so that's our media chain to harass those students individually. But also, it's a kind of strange propaganda or strange indoctrination that happens because all throughout GCSE A level, we were sort of taught to write on the one hand this one form of racism. On the other hand, another form of racism and to believe that somehow you steered a course to veracity from presenting to flip sides of the same coin. Now, a whole new set of ideas and principles have come along.

They're literally shitting the bed. Yeah, it is time to confront these people with the one thing that will deter them as it once deterred the Soviets, massive retaliation. That's quite damn it. My one weakness. A massive retaliation. Hair Hitler, the Soviets have found out one weakness. What is it?

20 million troops. Shit. How did they know? I guess it's pinned to sound quite intimidating, but what the hell are they going to do? Stop all these women and blacks from writing stuff. What does massive retaliation look like? Posting. It's posting, but it's a respectable posting.

They're all getting jobs and getting your dick sucked.com. All of these guys have the same aesthetic. They're all kind of issued a big rumpled suit and they kind of get smaller and the suit gets bigger and they just shrivel into it and they just kind of quiet voice coming from inside talking about the clitoris. Wonderful. All right, okay, I've got to run. Yeah, it's time to wrap.

Oh, man. Oh, well, that was that was one hell of a time. Sweetie, do you have anything going on? Yeah, I'm going to be dropping a new EP with new tracks such as Politics Is Broken. Try and guess where that slogan came from. Now for an idea party. Chucking the rule book out. So yeah, that's happening.

I'm also working on a new piece, which I will announce the title of here as an exclusive. I'm not really supposed to, but I'm going to do it anyway. It's called The Black Peril and it's coming out in November of this year and it's all about race riots that happened a hundred years ago in Britain. So maybe we'll have another chat about it in the future. Hell yeah. That would be amazing. Yeah, definitely.

Let's let's make sure we get that done. But then we'll also do a counter episode with Roger Scrooge. For the sake of balance. And finally, since this is out on our Patreon, you know, you already subscribe, but you also don't forget to please vote for Trash Future in the British Podcasters Choice Listeners Choice Awards because we really, like I said, I want to go on that stage and get dragged off by my fingernails talking about how gamers are the real persecuted minorities in this country. Absolutely.

This is coming out on Thursday, right? Yes. So also tonight, I'm doing a preview of my Edinburgh show at the Sackford 8pm. If that's too short notice for you, the following week on Wednesday at 8pm, there'll be another smoke comedy where the headline will be Mickey Overman. There will be links to tickets in the description. Hell mother fucking yeah. Thanks everyone.

Thanks everyone for coming on. Sowita was great to see you again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. And thank you all for listening. Later.