TRASHFUTURE - *UNLOCKED* Islamic Republic of Seinfeld feat. Sina Rahmani

Episode Date: June 20, 2019

America desperately wants to go to war with Iran, so much that it's willing to engineer some extremely fake circumstances under which it can claim to be the victim of aggression. Why is that? Well, according to Bret Stephens, it's because they hate Ben Franklin, or something. To discuss this, we bring on Sina Rahmani, host of the The East is a Podcast, and ask him why the US can't seem to stop broadcasting its war horniness.  This originally appeared last month on our Patreon -- and there are practically a year's worth of bonus episodes available. Sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *WATCH THIS SPACE* We’ll be performing at the Birmingham Transformed festival on 8th August. Details to come in the next few weeks. If you’re in the West Midlands, come down to Brum for a night of delightful soup jokes. *LIVE SHOW ALERT* Come see Trashfuture live at the Edinburgh Fringe! We’ll perform on August 10th at 21.30. The venue is Venue 277, PQA Venues @Riddle's Court, Edinburgh EH1 2PG. Tickets are £11.50 and there are a ton of discounts available. Get them here: https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/trashfuture-live-at-the-fringe   *COMEDY KLAXON* Come to Milo’s regular comedy night on July 3rd at The Sekforde (34 Sekforde Street London EC1R 0HA), This show also starts at 8 pm and features Milo and also TF favourites Pierre Novellie and Aidan Taco Jones. Tickets are £5 at this link: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/smoke-comedy-featuring-maria-shehata-and-pierre-novellie-tickets-63482792742 *T-SHIRTS* If you want to buy one of our recent special-edition phone-cops shirt, shoot us an email at trashfuturepodcast[at]gmail[dot]com with your size and address and we can post it to you. It's discounted to £15 + shipping for patrons!

Dear Trash Future listeners, since the US is extremely aroused at the prospect of destroying itself in a war with Iran, we wanted to unlock this bonus episode, which features our discussion with Sina Rahmani, the host of The East is a podcast. If you like this episode, just remember that there are literally dozens like it on our Patreon. Thanks and enjoy. Yours truly, a podcast producer from a certain country who is definitely not hiding out in a basement and avoiding the draft.

Hello again and welcome to Trash Future, the podcast about how it's the one you're listening to now. I'm Riley. You may remember me from every other episode of this podcast. I'm joined here in studio with Milo Edwards. You joined with me, bitch. I might be. It's Milo Edwards.

I've had a few drinks and I've eaten nothing. So I'm going to be loose on this episode. He's on the gold mic folks. And we got Hussain Kassavani. Hey, I have not drunk because it's Ramadan and also alcohol is off the devil. It's the white man's poison. So Ramadan is the one month of the year where as a Muslim, you can't drink alcohol. Yeah.

The rest of the time, the rest of the time I'm having exactly one and a half beers and it's fucking great. You're going out with Andrew Tate. Yeah. The rest of the time Hussain can't stop buying bottles. Also, I have adjusted his head towards the mic and then the mic towards his head and neither have worked. It's like we repel each other.

But this is this is a private, a private agony that only I experienced because I am the man who corrects Hussain's mic position. I feel like it's my head like my head sort of like tilts and I feel like I just can't stop. He just doesn't want to approach the mic because the mic in some way resembles a dick. Yeah. He's too busy. He's too busy doing the high IQ head tilt and just like and I am interesting.

Have you considered, have you considered the facts? If you get too close to the mic, it's technically eating and it's still daylight outside. And we also have Nate on the boards. Hi, it's me. Yes. I've already made a bunch of jokes that are probably regrettable. So this is my intro. Welcome.

Fantastic. And I too have been drinking. We've all been drinking the tarot, the ministry of startups, the terrible building our studios in with a door that relies on Wi-Fi to work with the Wi-Fi door and stuff. They have put on the thing where they gave everyone free beer because they realized we work is coming. I ate two slices of chicken tikka pizza and I'm conflicted about it. So they bought us.

They bought like a bunch of beer and like weird pizza and stuff, but they haven't fixed like the light in the second cubicle of the bathroom. No. Oh yeah. There's one cubicle in the toilet, which is like, it's only for experts. It's like, it's like, you know, it's only for people who know exactly where their dick is, which is a really hard thing to do sometimes. Exactly.

Who knows? If you ever come to shit at the trash future studio and you use the second toilet cubicle, you should make sure your skill level is at a high enough grade. Yeah. However, before we continue talking about this nonsense, I'd also like to introduce Sina Rachmani. I was an academic and the host of East as a podcast, our guest for the week, Sina. How are you doing?

I'm good. I'm good. I'm glad that that was the segue you picked. It's very telling of what you think of me. Yes. I think you're an expert at finding your own dick. You're a shitting expert. Those two things are related.

Unlike John Bolton, you know where your own dick is. A tier one shitterator. Exactly. He's a tier one shitterator. But jumping right the fuck into it, speaking of John Bolton, did we all know that the Pentagon currently plans to send up to 10,000 troops to the Middle East because they're worried about Iran? Normal.

This one does all the time when the Iranians apparently have mounted rockets on sailboats. They've got, they have a fleet of murder those and they're going to fucking kill people with them. Oh, it's going to be sword drones versus sailboats. Jesus. Hell, the fuck. Yes. I knew that we were going to have World War three, but I didn't realize it was going

to be so steampunk. Yeah. Currently Iran, Iran has made a bunch of very non-specific threats. It's had to have been held back by six of its biggest friends from declaring all at war. And so because it continues to exist, it has the temerity to exist as a regional power that isn't, you know, the United States or any of its like close personal friends. The United States is sending one of its carrier groups to the Persian Gulf and I have it on good intelligence that it's planned that only two of the carriers will crash into each

other in sync. To be fair Riley, that only happens in the sea of Japan every month. Or I mean, I always like to point out that when the US sent its most elite team of super killers to go get bin Laden, crash the helicopter, one of the helicopters crashed for no reason, facing no opposition, they just crashed it. Dude, we're trying to do a sick helicopter trick. We're on route to intercept Osama bin Laden. This is Bammergera and we're killing Osama bin Laden.

It's like, you know, on one hand, like, okay, we kill Osama bin Laden, but we kill Obama. Yeah, it's my bad. Which is definitely what they wanted today. That's what I'm saying guys, really. They're like, what if we kill Osama bin Laden, but we also ollie this helicopter? Yeah. Buzzing the tower for permission to do a sick helicopter kickflip. I'm taking that as a yes.

So Sina, all of this is going on. The US is continuing to stumble over its dick as the most clearly incompetent, globus-riding military empire ever. Why are they doing this? Why does Iran just keep pissing them off? Well, that's a very good question. Sadly, sadly, Iran is a threat to the US. But threat to the US is not actually the full sentence.

It's a threat to the US empire. This is the first thing. This is what you have to understand. Iran, sure, it is a threat. It's a threat to something that exists purely in the brain of American war planners, politicians, and like the pundit class, which is the untrammeled power of American empire to go and do whatever it wants. So Iran, with the country being over 80 million, a very large country, a sizable portion of

West Asia, has, for the last 40 years, just simply said no, right? American hegemony has stopped with, has been checked, in a sense, by Iran in purely the literal sense, in the sense that the US has bases everywhere in the region, has bases essentially all over the region, the Middle East, that is, and that includes the Gulf as well, except for Iran, right? This is, this is a big, big problem for the US, right? So all of you have probably seen the sort of graphic, like, of how could Iran place itself in the middle of our bases, right, with all the sort of bases, like this is,

and there is a sort of, I mean, if somebody posted that seriously, like a week ago, like some guy was like, oh, wow, I found a really for, a really telling, a really telling map. And he like posted it unironically, not knowing that this was inherently a kind of anti-war kind of meme that was certainly written, which is simply says that this is where we are now, is that the media in full sort of cooperation with the military industrial complex has wholesale fabricated yet again, another potential lethal crisis for the entire region. And that's what it would be, right? A war, this is not a war with Iran.

This would be an invasion of Iran, which would immediately trigger a regional war, right? So the language here is really important. We're talking about the US invading a country, right, which is what it did in Iraq in 2003. It invaded a country and it said, and it wasn't even like the first Iraq war, right? The first Iraq war was technically an attack on an ally, right? So the sort of Qasas-Beli was there, right? But in 2003, we know what the sort of Qasas-Beli or just cause for war was. It was these WMDs.

But now, 15 years later, 16 years later, here we are again, and these, they haven't even bothered to make up this whole weapons of mass destruction thing. All they sort of rely upon is the word threat, right? Yeah, I was going to say, Colin Powell appeared in front of what was at the UN, like holding a piece of angel food cake, being like, yo, Saddam's going to kill us with this. His honest, wrist-a-ward presentation could have been spoiled. And so we're, but as the US, quote unquote, blunders, and actually I want to get into the use of that language a bit later, but as the US continues to like fuck up and trip

over its own dick and fall into another like pointless forever war, I've noticed they're not even, they're not deploying anything like that. They're just sort of saying, well, obviously we need to go to war with Iran because it's there because did you hear what they said about your mom? Like, you know, that kind of thing. It seems to me that inventing a reason for attacking Iran has not really been that much work compared to other countries in the region. Obviously, the risks are higher because Iran can actually fight back or at least can fight

back in the sense of if they invaded, but since 1978, it's not been a big challenge to make Americans mad about Iran because of the sort of like residual outrage over them taking over the US embassy. And then also just the fact that we've constantly framed them as the enemy, you know, with supporting Saddam during the Iran-Iraq war. And then this notion that they're somehow like, Iran hypnotized the Iraqis and made them hate us. That's why they were killing us during the Iraq war insurgency.

The Iranians shouldn't have done that. The Iranians, actually, it's the Ayatollah is from the West. I did it myself. I murdered them personally because of my Iranian background. That's actually how it worked in Iraq. People don't know. The Ayatollah is the king Muslim. And so he's actually all those sects that you hear about, those aren't real to every

Muslim. That's how it works. It's actually just whatever the Ayatollah says, apparently. Yeah. Well, and also what people don't realize is right that for millennia, there have been peacefully existing these U.S. military bases in the Middle East. And then around about 1979, the SJDubs got together with the Muslims, the kings of the SJDubs, and they decided to put together this thing called Iran to really annoy America,

right? And the Mexican cartels as well. Oh, and then, of course, MS-13, all those guys, they got together because they love the SJDubs. MS-13, the transgender lobby, it's all one thing. And then now people are saying, oh, this is going to trigger a huge destabilizing war in the region. Or it will.

But you know who else it'll trigger? The Libs. You know what's funny is that's not too dissimilar to what Mike Flynn actually believes. Like, he absolutely believes, but his weird conception of the universe. He's not busy like kidnapping Turkish diplomats. Yeah, exactly. His weird conception of the world is that Iran is behind everything bad, except they report to the Muslim Brotherhood for some reason.

They report to Mossad. Mike Flynn believes in like a weird QAnon style conspiracy, and the top of the pyramid of this conspiracy is an Egyptian nationalist group, for some reason, that also controls Venezuela. No, they're the pharaohs. It's the pharaohs never went anywhere. They've just been behind the scenes. Mike Flynn is the Muslim secrets of the pharaohs.

Well, in fact, I've found, I think, I've, this is a while ago, I found the two, I know I try not to do Twitter report, but it says two tweets that I believe are of the world's in the world's happiest man. This is someone who just, whose first tweet was, time for at real Donald Trump to fuck shit up in Iran and send a message. And his second tweet is, could at Dodge please build a full-size SUV? That would be amazing. Amazing.

These are the people that want to war with Iran. It's him. It's the guy who's like, who wants, really wants Dodge to make a full-size SUV so we can send a message to like, you know, his wife's boyfriend, and also John Bolton, who also, I think, wants to send a message to his wife's boyfriend. They think the ultimate message you could send is turning Iran into a Trump golf course. Look, folks, right now, you can't get a good stake in Iran. It's tragic.

Okay, I've been there. Folks, it's terrible. You can't get the kind of stake that you can get here. Look, we're going to turn it into a golf course. It's going to be tremendous actually. Who wants to play nine holes on sand and have pistachios? No one. It's disgusting.

You're essentially applying Hobson's theory of imperialism to Trump's desire to go to war in Iran, which is just to like, create a market for Trump's stakes. No, it wouldn't be to create a market. There's finite space for golf courses. To protect Trump's... No, it doesn't really apply to Hobson's theory of imperialism, but it's very funny the idea of selling Trump's stakes to the guy at home. But the reason why we're making all this bullshit up is because there's no clear-cut reason.

Like, they want to go to war with Iran because John Bolton is horny for war. Similarly, he's horny for war in Venezuela, but I don't know, Sina, if you've noticed anything different this time. The new album track, Horny for War, brackets in Venezuela. Because to me, it seems like this drumbeat. I think you're totally right. And I think it's half right in one sense of that, yes, this is purely like a poster's war.

This is somebody who cocked this up online while having too much riddle in and just kind of got invested in the thread and just kind of built it up and built it up. If there was ever a kind of online war that was kind of triggered by sort of online posting, it would be this one. But that can only go so far because that doesn't tell us the whole story. Because in the case of the Islamic Republic, the Islamic Republic, the reason why we don't have a cause for war is because the simple existence of the Islamic Republic is the cause of war.

And that's why I sort of said that just the existence of the Islamic Republic is a threat to U.S. and Germany simply because it doesn't roll over. And more importantly, it's not irrelevant. It's not an irrelevant little minor country that can be ignored, that can be pushed away. This is one of the oldest, for lack of a better term, civilizations on Earth. This is an extremely old and diverse country and region. This is also a very wealthy region, not just in terms of natural energy, like gas and minerals, but also in terms of human resources.

There's a lot of people in this tiny chunk of the world and they have a lot of resources from which they've learned to defend themselves. So we need to talk, if we're going to talk about this war, that's what we have to talk about. We don't say war, say invasion, and then say suicidal invasion because that's what it would be. The sort of the hilarity of all this is that when I was growing up in the 80s and stuff, you would hear about, oh, these Iranians, they send these children out into the battlefields,

they're suicidal, blah, blah, blah, blah, this is the Iran-Iraq war, which was also an invasion of Iran, also something supported and cooked up, mostly in America. So we've seen this before, America, via its proxies, has invaded Iran. That's without a doubt true. But this war would be different, why? What's different about this war is that simply the very possibility of war, like the very beginning of the war would result in the kinds of deaths that America have not seen in generations. It's all well and good to go and bomb a country from afar.

You can do that. You can do that. You could feel good. It makes for some nice images. But the pundit, and what's his name? Who's the guy who was sort of quoting Leonard Cohen, who was the guy? It's Harald Rivera quoted Leonard Cohen. It was Brian, the other one.

Wait, hang on, Leonard Cohen wanted to invade Iran. It was Brian, whatever. The guy, the one with the daughter, who cares. They're all the same. But he was basically quoting, like watching the sort of bombs drop on Syria and quoting this kind of like poet, and you're like, what, are you just this depraved human being? These bombs land somewhere and they land on people's bodies. You're sitting here celebrating it, and that sort of, I think that provides you a clue

of what this quote unquote war talk is. This is people who are sitting in American cities and European cities fantasizing about pictures on a screen. Right? Damn, it's like gamers. It's a gaming mentality, right? Space clan. So Sina, I did an episode with another podcast a couple of days ago, and one of the points

I made was I referenced the, if you remember this, the national weather or the national, I think it was a weather service report for Hurricane Katrina that used really, really strong language and basically said like, this is going to cause human suffering on an unimaginable scale. I've basically tried to use that same sort of comparison and say, if a military invasion of Iran would involve casualties on a scale that the U.S. has not experienced since the worst part of the Vietnam War and maybe worse than that, when you were seeing 500 to 1000 people dying per week.

In like five days, yeah. And also something that I think that people don't bear in mind is that like, I mean, I was in high school when the Iraq war started. The initial invasion of the Iraq war wasn't fucking seamless. Like lots of people died and that was like, it was, and that was a much more lopsided situation. Yeah. Well, and also like the Iraqi officers were quite ready to surrender after a while because they were like, fuck this shit.

Whereas I think the Iranian Revolutionary Guard are a lot more like intent on defending Iran. Yeah, and they had multiple bites of the apple, right? Like the point of the Iran-Iraq war beginning in 1980 wasn't just to, wasn't just to destabilize the revolution, right? It was, that was a bonus, sure. But one of the side effects was, okay, you can just degrade Iraq. Iraq was one of the richest, most forward, most advanced Arab countries at the time, right?

Yeah. Beginning in 1980, it was bled like a pig, right? It was just bled out until 2003 where they came in and did the final blow, right? I mean, this is, this is the story of American empire in the region. And the fact that they're even proposing it for Iran just tells you how delusional these people are. Like, like in their minds, right? Like in the minds of these psychos, they're debating like, is it wrong to do this?

They're not debating whether it's a poor strategy, right? Like they're not debating that. They're debating whether it's wrong, right? Like is this wrong? They haven't really, like they're not like, this is, these are people who are funny. Fundamentally against their own interests as imperial sort of technocrats. Like you are doing a bad job of putting forward the interest of your empire by proposing what would essentially be a suicidal.

Well yeah. I mean, try, try, try. What happened in Iraq went south really quickly. And that was much more favorable circumstances to the United States. Here's a situation in which you have a country that's far better prepared to defend itself, has recently developed an enormous amount of capacity to defend itself because of the war in Syria and also, and also just like its own internal preparations also is four times the size of Iraq, much worse terrain for fighting in, also really, really fucking

hates invaders. And it's like, oh, this is going to go great. I'm sure Tom Cotton is going to have a, have a gay old time. And one thing. I've seen Lib Iranians online turn into nationalists because of this. Well yeah. That was a point I wanted to raise too, is that I've seen this too, is that like, you know, there's plenty of reason for people to complain about their government in Iran

and any other country, but Iranians who hate their government doesn't matter. The minute you're like, oh, you don't like your government, we're going to replace your government with some fucking people we install when we invade. Good luck with that shit. We're going to replace your government with some people who like birthday cake. Right. And I think you said it exactly right. Like this is, this, it's the, the belief, right?

I mean, the root of this is, is, is racism and the arrogance that goes with it. The racism is we're superior, right? Always. Right? This is never in doubt, right? We are superior by we, you can dress it up and say, oh, our military forces, our armed forces, blah, blah, blah, our intelligence, we have this, we have that. But really underneath that is we, our system, our country, our empire.

We are more powerful. Now the question is, says the Ahead, how will we manage this country? How will we govern? Why don't you ask the Israelis how well it's going for them in Gaza, right? We're talking about two million people in this tiny prison and they can, they're terrified of it. I mean, this is the reality. When they have very sharp rock at my penis, rope tied to fence, rope tied to fence is

so good. The ultimate weapon. The ultimate weapon. Oh man. The Iranian government are going to tie so many ropes to fence. There's one man. They're going to fuck us up. Iran defends itself with nothing but arson kites.

Just launch it in the Spanish sphere. They get 100 million arson kites, they get Afghan reinforcements, Hezbollah has arson kites. I was going to say, the Afghans are good as fuck at flying kites too. So I'm sure they could get some, they could, they could recruit some paramilitaries. Sir, I'm sorry to report that our, our sword drones have been entirely neutralized by the Iranian fleet of arson kites. So a serious question here.

That was a good one. That was a good American accent. Thank you. A serious question here. If this is so obviously a boondoggle that's going to go horribly and cause unimaginable suffering for Americans, Iranians, and everyone in between and around them. What is the imperial point of what this is supposed to achieve? Like what do they imagine this will do?

Get your dick hard. I mean, there's that. I mean, there's that. That's like the red meat base of it. Sure. I think that's, there's an easy explanation on that front that's, you know, it's always good. And America is this bloodthirsty country and loves war, right?

On TV anyways. I think there is, I think we live in a moment where the contradictions of late capitalism are accelerated and they're now beginning, the interests are beginning to fight over the sort of dwindling pie. And what I mean by that is like that's in, that's visible in Yemen, right? Yemen is this desperate attempt to make these people heal, right? These Yemeni people to just heal to Saudi interests because of their resources, right? And look what that's gotten them, right?

They can't even make it 20 miles inland, right? Like the Yemen war is just a bombing campaign supported by mercenaries that is supported by, the Yemen war, it's like what Baudrillard said about the Iraq war, he said it did not take place. The Yemen war is not taking place, it's a bombing campaign that's being fought on American television. So can you just, can you quickly, because this is one of my favorite essays, but could you quickly explain what Baudrillard was arguing in the essay about how the Iraq war didn't

actually occur? You're really going to make me do this? No, we're talking about brown people things, okay? Well, the Baudrillard thing is in the sense that his famous thing is simula and simulacrum, right? Is that the late capital, he wouldn't use the term late capitalist, but kind of the hyper, this is, this is Baudrillard writing the wake of the situationist, right? Like representation is, these were the original posters, okay?

Like Baudrillard, you had all irony, like it was all just like they had like a digital post ready before it was like invented, right? And so for Baudrillard, and this is going back to my undergrad. So I'm not the person to ask on this, but you know, essentially for someone like Baudrillard, they see the Iraq war and the claim that he makes is that, you know, this is something that's take place. That's mediatic, right? This is something that you saw the cameras, you saw the infrared videos leaving a plane

and then it just landed on a house and boom, right? This is where it came, it came from such rhetoric as precision guided missiles, laser guided missiles, right? These are, this is the language of neo, like neoliberal sort of permanent war that says, yeah, war is bad, right? Like there's lots of movies that say war is hell and you've seen them, right? Like we, the same media company that is profiting off of this is also sells you the deer hunter, right?

Like the same companies are doing this and they say, well, this is, I've seen Paracel in the sex tape. Exactly. Like it's the horror, the horror, right? Like that, that imagination of war is something that's doled out, that's sold and the Iran war is part of it. And I think that the contradictions of our moments are accelerating what would be a suicidal plan into the media.

And I think it's done for the benefit of the people who pay John Bolton's, you know, speaking fees when he goes and speaks to the M.E.K. The thing I would say too is it feels like it's a, it's a different kind of permutation of the same kind of fascist conundrum where the inability to reconcile your enemy's strength with your, this idea that you have to be stronger and they have to be weaker, that if you think of this country as inherently backwards and totalitarian and ripe for the taking, I suppose, but then you also have to hype them up to be this venal enemy that is such a threat to the world.

And it's like it seems like the U.S. is categorically unable to assess Iran for what it is because it has to both be the country that we could totally kick their ass and also the supervillain that's threatening world peace somehow. Well, a supervillain is necessary to keep that story going. And I was going to say- And I was going to say- Do you remember that comic strip where like the joke is started working for Khomeini? Yes.

Yeah. That's one of my favorites. Exactly. But it was like a perfect encapsulation. I mean, that's the thing. They look at us as pure anarchy. One thing I wanted to point out is that because of, we're talking about the sort of imaginary creation of Iran as this villain, you know, against all odds and against all factual representation,

widely found an article by Brett Stevens that gets really mad at Iran, but it gets really mad at Iran about imaginary bullshit. You know, here's the weird thing. It's like a space of that drill tweet about like getting angry about a situation you make up entirely in your head. Yeah. Ruinning your evening by imagining a restaurant that discriminates against you for wearing brass knuckles.

Yeah. Well, look, Brett Stevens has ruined many of his own evenings. Step-breathings. Yes. And so we're here to hear about him and he's written an article, A Deal for Iran, Normalization for Normalization. Hey, I got a deal for you, pal. Old school.

I'm going to normalize your mother. Yeah. So here's the thing. The first paragraph is almost kind of reasonable. What is normalization? From the U.S. side, it would mean the immediate suspension of every economic and diplomatic sanction imposed by this or previous administrations. Fine.

It would mean an American embassy in Tehran and Iranian one in Washington. Fine. This seems reasonable. It would mean direct flights between Iranian-American cities. It would mean two-way trade, direct investment, and the end of secondary sanctions that punish non-U.S. companies for doing business in Iran. It would mean tens of thousands of Iranian students once again enrolled in U.S. universities and tens of thousands of American tourists once again exploring the grand bazaars of

Iranian cities. The Spanish-Greek scented harems of Iran. Lucky us. Lucky us. We're going to get to have some roofs from America card. Wow. Yeah. You also get...

You get to rip off some guys in under-armor shorts. You also get the basic treatment that every other country gets. Yeah, right. Cool. That's fun. You get a membership card. Yeah. You get Starbucks and everything.

You get stickers. They're even willing to send you some Trump steaks. Amazing. It'd be great. So this is basically what Stevens describes as normalization for Iran, which is quite from the U.S. for Iran, rather, which seems quite literally to be normalization. All of the insane shit that the U.S. has subjected Iran to over the last sort of 40 years or so, they'd be willing to stop doing the crazy shit.

And also they'd be willing to send some easily tricked jet ski rental owners, jet ski rental shop owners, to go get like, you know, pay $20 to have a picture taken. That all seems fine and quite regular, but this is a Brett Stevens article. So it does not stay normal for long. I mean, I got to say that opening is really bad. What is normalization? I mean, this guy is a high school principal. Like, come on, buddy.

Like this is just the latest pros you've ever seen. Websters defines normalization as... Oh my God. I have a friend, Adam Curtis. So he says a normal, now this is what normalization for Iran means. Iran needs to become a normal country, a normal country with the world's fourth proof largest proven oil reserves is one that wouldn't need to embark on mass, multiple underground programs to enrich uranium and produce plutonium, you know, unless exploiting massive underground

oil reserves was cooking the planet. Yeah. Once again, just a simple denial, right? So what's he relating to? He's saying that why are they, if they were a normal country, why would they make nuclear weapons? Why would they enrich uranium? But of course, this never gets asked, why did any other country do it? You stupid fuck.

It's almost as though there's a gigantic imperial power that's going to invade you because like they don't like the cut of your jib or the cut of your hair or whatever. I don't know, seems like a good idea to have. The US is going to invade Iran for because they weren't environmentally friendly enough. We just care a lot about the environment and keeping keeping the planet clean. Brett Stevens goes further. It wouldn't engage in extensive experimental work to figure out how to detonate a fissile nuclear core.

So basically the same thing as before, and it wouldn't retrain an illicit network to circumvent Western restrictions in the sale of dual use technologies for its missile program. Again, the same three sentences. He's just taking up space. This is the latest. Yeah. This is just.

Oh yeah, look, one of the one of Brett Stevens's favorite things to do is to really pad out his word count, play with his margins, try to get a little extra spacing in there because you know twice his editor to turn it, turn it and it's actually just a JPEG, but he's relayed it as a DocX file and sent to his professor and be like, Oh, it was corrupted. I have to turn it in after the weekend. The fourth thing that they would have to do would be to screw Flanders. That's a very important point. Also a crucial point here.

Like I think all of everyone that's not American has been pretty, pretty open about the fact that like weapons inspectors and stuff in Iran have like they've pretty good faith about it. Like as far as I understand, like the International Atomic Energy Agency like wasn't particularly bothered by it, they thought Iran was being straightforward, but the US on the other hand is constantly trying to whip up this fury that they must have a secret program. And it's like, on one hand, it looks like they definitely don't. On the other hand, if they did, what has only to look at Libya versus North Korea to be

like, hmm, maybe having nuclear weapons is a good idea if you are the enemy of America. For them to even imagine somebody defending themselves and doing something to defend it because I think it has to do with the fact that in American media, you just you say ridiculous things, but nobody ever calls you for it. And then, you know, and it doesn't really matter what you say, whereas, you know, in Iran, you know, like people take people take the defense of their country seriously. And it's something that matters to the people who run the country. So they're not going to just lie back and wait for you to come and invade their country.

Like, like it's amazing how these people like it's like they're saying, why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? And when they punch you in the face, they say, why are you punching me? You know, this is this is America. Like we're Iranians have, for some reason, triggered America into exposing its own just blatant idiocy and its inability to kind of articulate its own needs. Right. Like this is a toddler stomping on the wall. Like this is article, right?

Like this is. But we we all know the reason why the US fears to invade North Korea. And it's because they've seen the pictures of the North Korean goo factories. And they fear the sheer quantities of goo that North Korea can produce at a moment. Notice they're like, I don't know exactly what the what the military use of that goo is, but they can produce fears and quantities of it at a seemingly infinite pace. I mean, you know, we we don't know what they do if we invaded them. They could goo us up.

So that's that's just that's just Brett Stevens first. Nate just got a picture of the North Korean goo factory. It's like the idea of a normal country is like, can you say the racism louder? Like, who just said you're the normal one? You pencil neck fuck, like you live in this apartheid state built on slavery and Jim Crow and Empire and like the destruction of an entire continent. And you're telling us the country that has been around much, much longer that we're the abnormal ones.

I mean, this I mean, it's having a normal like it's the media class that does this. All I can say is that, you know, would would Iran be intellectually capable enough to produce a series such as the Big Bang Ferry? I don't think so. Also, the other problem is that actually the Houthis in Hezbollah are very infrequently engaged in rational debate and actually resort to name calling and worse. They're not smart and they're not smart and like

it's just civilization was so enlightened. Why haven't they produced Jordan Peterson? Show me the show me the Persian fair dosy. That's what I said. Show me the Iranian Joe Rogan experience. That's me. So here's some other other Brett Stevens is very normal prescriptions for a regular country, a normal country wouldn't seek to murder

via a Mexican drug cartel, the Saudi ambassador at a Washington, D.C. restaurant. That doesn't sound like a conspiracy theory. Well, where is he getting this from? Like, I know there's like a conspiracy theory about it, but like the idea that a columnist in the New York Times is like, oh, my grandpa forwarded me this email and said that Iran did this. So that's why I need to I need to complain about it. Like, let's say they even did, right?

Let's say they let's say this is true. Do you really? Like, are you a big boy, Mr. Brandt? Do you read? Do you know what countries do? Like, do you even understand what politics is? Like, this is nor like they like Steven Spielberg literally made a film about this and made money like doing it, right?

Like, like they don't they don't see that this is what states do. Like, for instance, there was like like if a state does something, quote unquote, illegal, right? Like you have to say, oh, that clearly makes it a fake state. And then you have to say, wait, I'm in the U.S. The U.S. like, oh, this is the country that murdered Fred Hampton in his sleep. Right. Like with like the U.S. which passed a law that says that if anyone from our our politics gets charged

in the Hague, we'll invade the Netherlands. Like they flat out fucking passed a law for that in 2002. Projections. It's the criminals saying, no, you're the illegals. And the the the other thing here is that is it appears as though Brett Stevens is actually reproducing in part at least the plot of a Steven Segal book as part of his article about how Iran has to get regular like the way of the shadow wolves or whatever.

That's amazing. Yes. Yes. Yes. Let's go. Let's fucking go, Brett. All right. Brett Stevens, the demon. So wrestling announcer voice normal. So, yes, a normal country wouldn't do this thing that Steven Segal made up. So this is. But this is Fred Stevens in a chair fighting off the whole Iranian army by like slapping them on the back of the neck.

Yeah. So essentially what what what happened was the Saudi ambassador was killed in D.C. by someone who I believe was Iranian. And then a whole story emerged around it. There is the guy who did it had a history of mental illness and so on and so forth. But they were like, no, it was the car. It was M.S. 13 and Iran and the boogeyman and my step and my stepfather, Ron. So the guy who killed him was already Iranian. So they could have literally just been like, oh, the Iranian guy

who was under the control of the Iranians who had him killed. So they're like, no, we're going to have to like add in this whole Mexican drug cartel element just because we hate the Mexicans as well. We want to get the Mexicans in there somehow. We've learned from like the mid seasons of Game of Thrones that you need to kind of, you know, mash things up if you're going to expand the series, introduce some sort of like multiverse, you know, and this is the best. Yeah. This is Brett Stevens brain.

It's basically just like Game of Thrones. Yeah. I'd say for context, I'm just grabbing some quotes about this. This is from the Brookings institution, one of the most bloodthirsty think tanks left wing. I mean, they're they're like a center, right? But they love to very responsibly claim the U.S. defense establishment, but like they're not the Cato institution or the Cato suit or the was it called like fucking heritage or something like that.

But the Brookings institution is a big fan of standing up and responsibly declaring that it's time for action and we all have to unite and foreign policy stops the waters. They are they're progressive in the sense that they want equal women representation on bomber crews, but they're not particularly anti-war so I am all women drones. So they're what they what they said was this plot does not fit any usual patterns of Iran's involvement with any kind of these kinds of activities. And it seems quite credible to me that that maybe it could be rogue elements,

but I don't think the Iranian military would ever tolerate this kind of descent. So basically if anyone who knows about this, even from the U.S. foreign policy establishment, famously people who love to overinterpret things were like, no, I don't I don't think so. So basically what you're saying is that Stevens has just reproduced Iranian Seth Rich. Yes. Yeah. And Ronnie and Ronnie and Seth Rich. So here's another one of his prescriptions.

The reason why we have to invade Iran is because Iran is an Aries and like we're just not going to get on with them. Like we're a Virgo. Like it's just not going to it's not going to work. Like there's not room in this town for the both of us, Iran. OK, you're coming up here with your like you're not far off because think about just simply the refusal of Iran to engage American bullshit. Right. That's that's what's terrifying.

It's like, you know, the episode of Simpsons like just don't look like just don't look like the way to deal with bad advertising is just not to look at it. I mean, that's kind of how the Islamic Republic has been dealing with America for 40 years. Now, the problem is America is the kind of obsessive ex that keeps coming into your life. So this ties to one of Brett Stevens kind of bullshit claims about the Syrian Civil War, but I think specifically with the US invasion of Iraq, which is that one of the the the things that I saw getting kicked around

years ago when I was in the military about why the US should oppose Iran, why Iran was the enemy was that, oh, well, they trained Shia militias in Iraq and they killed American soldiers. But it's sort of like that always ignores the fact that the US was occupying Iraq and in many cases, the people that they were fighting against were had been aggressed both by the initial invasion and then by the government that the US installed. And so it's like, well, on one one hand, maybe some of these people did get trained in Iran.

Maybe some of these people had had links to Iran and got you got supplied that way. But the idea that Iran was making Iraqis hate us is just so absurd. And like it requires this bizarre view that like we're perfect and we can't go wrong. And if things don't go the way we plan, it must be because someone is specifically trying to fuck our plans up as opposed to the idea that like Iraq didn't need Iran's help. Iraq Iran's help to hate us. Iran has been talking shit about America behind our backs for far too long. They've been saying the Iraqis that like we're not even hot,

that like the shoes we had on were like not even real. The boot ends and like they're making the Iraqis hate us. And like, you know what, I'm coming back to school this year. It's high school, right? OK, it's happening. Iran, you are over, right? This is a bitch war you cannot win. Mean empires, but continuing on. I mean, I bring that up because the next Brett Stephens point is to claim

that he says that a normal country would not furnish military, financial, logistical support for serious Bashar al-Assad, who seems to have resumed using chemical weapons against his enemies. Another lie. Yeah, it's another. Yeah, I like it's one of those things where if it wasn't the Syrian Civil War, it would be effectively the Civil War in Iraq when there was basically an international warfare between the Shia and Sunni in the mid 2000s. It wasn't that it would have been Hezbollah, too.

They can make up any excuse. It doesn't matter what they say. Their end goal is all the same. It's all. But here's the difference, though, is that the reality is. And I think this is where the left needs to sort of focus on. The reality is Iranians like the Iran like the Islamic Republic doesn't care like what the U.S. says or like the Iran Islamic Republic doesn't read the New York Times every day, caring what the U.S. thinks or does.

I just love this idea of like of love like Ali Khomeini, like reading the Brett Stephens, like, oh, man, what do I need to do to get back in his good graces? And that's how they think. That's how these people think. They think that their own positions of elite sort of elite sort of like power give them some kind of forget that it gives them like some kind of insight, which it doesn't, but it gives them some kind of relevance.

Like Brett Stephens, Brett Stephens, nobody gives a shit about you. Nobody gives a shit about your life. My analogy with Brett Stephens is that essentially, I think in terms of him providing foreign policy advice to Iran somehow is quite a bit like like the change UK split from the Labour Party and how they kept just fucking up constantly. It's that if you if you come from that coddled of a background, where you essentially think that everything is yours for the asking.

So like to the change UK guys, don't understand that oh, you actually have to register candidates in time. And Chuck Romano, you're not just so talented that you can mock up a graphic design, a logo for your party in the hours before you have to submit for the elections. Like they think these things just happen. And Brett Stephens might quite similarly is so used to just people deferring to him that he will write an article

quite trying trying to scold Iran for stuff that either was made up or that the US just does all the time anyway. So, Sina, I'm going to go through the couple other things in his list. So we stay on time for this episode because they're ridiculous, but it ends on such an amazing note, such a such a brain genius, fucking universe thinkers note that I want to get to the end of this. So just just just bear this in mind. So he says that we wouldn't be providing proxies in Yemen

Iran wouldn't be providing its proxies in Yemen with ballistic missiles, especially now those proxies are firing missiles at Mecca, as opposed to the Saudis who are we are providing lots and fucking missiles and training soldiers. We're just helping a friend. We're just helping a friend, actually. He says he says he says Iran wouldn't be a principal sponsor for militias and terrorist groups throughout the Middle East, as opposed to the US. The US has never done that.

They just know the US is just is always getting betrayed by fake friends. They like a militias comes up and is like, hey, we're modern, we're cool. We have an app and then the US is like, have a million dollars. I got it. Turns out there is amazing. In the early days of the Syrian Civil War, I literally saw a photo of a guy firing like an old Russian mortar tube and he was using an iPad to figure out the elevation of the tube. I want to download an app on his on his iPad to determine

like whatever like the angle was so he could like get his mortar to place the right way. It comes up. It looks like you're trying to fire a mortar. But the next one he says he says it Iran wouldn't constantly avow and seek it can to considerable cost to itself, the destruction of another state with which it has neither a historical nor territorial conflict. A round of applause for that paragraph. Let's do this, everybody. Here's the thing, right?

It's like, how do I keep stepping on these rakes? What gets me about it? Iran doesn't want me to go to war with it. You shouldn't avow and seek a considerable cost to itself, the destruction of another state with which it has neither a historical nor territorial conflict. If it just stopped doing that, I wouldn't do that with it. But also, I mean, it's just like without even getting into the details,

because admittedly, I don't really know a lot of them. It's like there's one country in the Middle East that flew fucking fighter sorties into another country to bomb its nuclear reactor before it could start. That was Israel bombing the Iraqis in 1981. And they've threatened to do the same thing in Iran, the thing that stopped them. They can't do it because, for one, the Iraqis won't let them fly over their airspace for another because they get their ass shot the fuck down. And I think they know that.

And I think if they wanted to convince themselves that wasn't true, getting their asses handed to them in south Lebanon in 2006 might have made the point a little bit more clear. We tried to fly through Iran, but they have too many kites. I mean, like their reliance upon American, like hard, expensive American hardware, big booming steel, like it's all just like this is every romantic movie. Like these people never watched leftist movies.

Like they never watched like like little guerrilla fighter movies that showed that these big investments in military hardware, they're not going to help. They never watched Red Dawn. They need to fucking watch Red Dawn. They never. They never watched Animal House minus all the problematic bits. They never. They never saw the snooty house get repeatedly owned by their own. Iran is just sitting around in togas. And the Israelis, they're like the square house.

They're sitting all the tests and they're going like, oh, the Iranians have a low grade point average. And they're all like, whatever. Exactly. They never understood the snobs V. Slop's comedy. Remember that Iran spends a fraction, a fraction of what the rest of the region spends on arms, right? Like part of like a part of the reality, part of the, say, for instance, like after that, like when, when American Iran split in 79,

like Iran couldn't get parts, the Shaw, the Shaw, by the way, was a huge purchase of American hardware, American, UK, French, military hardware. He was one of the biggest clients, military clients, right? Sound familiar? I wonder why we liked him so much. That's weird. Who is that like Saudi Arabia? What? No. But then after 1980, when there was no, when the relations broke off, they couldn't get any parts. And so they had to cannibalize some of their parts for the F-14s because

they went big on the F-14s. But what else did it train them? It trained them not to rely upon expensive planes. So look, we've, we've, Brett Stevens has told us what Iran can do to finally get, get regular, to finally be normal. Take laxatives. Yeah. It's like, just like give up the books, give up the, give up the ambition, put on like a baseball, why is it like fucking like a baseball jack?

I'm trying to do a bit about how like in American high school, yeah, just go, just be regular, normal, just, just be confident. Iran's like the nerdy girl who then turns out to be the hot girl. But no one noticed because she was wearing glasses all the time. So she's like the Anne Hathaway of the middle of the east. Take off that ugly hijab, girl. Then you can be the bell of the prom. Whoa, put on these Daisy Dukes and something.

So, so, so, in short, under returns of a normalization for normalization deal, which I think as we've gone through, as Stevens proposes it, the U.S. would basically stop declaring economic and political war on Iran. And then Iran would just have to, you know, stop doing a bunch of imaginary things, stop holding Santa Claus hostage every year, stop allying with the monsters in every American child's closet. And then maybe it could finally be normal again. Iran could funding the people who are texting my wife.

Stop paying his phone plan. Yeah. Iran could relieve itself of all U.S. pressure by permanently abandoning his nuclear ambitions, its human rights outrageous. That's pretty outrageous coming from Stevens and its reckless international behavior. That's not a big ask. It would be unlikely, however, it would be unlikely, however,

to win over Iran's leaders because the regime's objections to United States don't date to nine feet 1953 in the U.S. connivance in the ouster of Prime Minister Mohamed Mosaddegh of Iran. They date to 1776 in the birth of political liberalism, the enemy of all theocratic and virtue centric politics. It's because the Iranians love tea so much. The Boston Tea Party. Nothing pissed off the Iranians more than that.

They were like, that is a waste of tea. You play Hulk Hogan's theme song when you read that for me. Like, I am a real American. Also, I like that he sneaks in and dig at the S.J. Dubbs at the end. You're Muslim, a Muslim Republic brother. I mean, this is this is probably what I hear me like fucking Barry Weiss are afraid of when they have like

lunch at the NY Times alone, which may or may not actually be a real thing. According to people that I may or may not know. Just certain sources at the end of my time. Suggested that are not my nation. Whether they German crew. No, Barry Weiss, but like they is this like the fucking fear that they have that like the S.J. Dubbs are just like developing one giant nuclear weapon. One giant nuclear.

Signalling is going too far. Next thing you know, you're going to take over the U.S. Embassy at Oberlin College or like this idea that like or like this idea. You got the joke. You're you're American too. Are you living in the U.S.? You get the fucking joke of these assholes, fucking ingrates. They don't get my jokes.

It's pronounced English. Or this idea of it like the Iranians are going to like fly in over the S.J. Dubbs to a big conference to be in the Mexican cartels. You have to be trans. That's how it works. It's the IGRC MS 13, the Australian Labour Campaigning Group, get up momentum and then like the Oberlin College LGBT Inclusion Group are going to get together to take down America and Brett Stevens is trying to recommend a little bit of a way to stop it.

Flynn literally believes this. When he's not busy kidnapping Turkish diplomats, there's a very telling sort of thing going on here. We'd be like the regime's objection. First of all, you call it regime, right? Like therefore it's not a state. It's not a nation state. It's not a government.

You call it a regime, right? The same thing they do in Syria. So there's that the regime's objections to the United States. Don't date to 1953 and U.S. connivance, not a coup, right? In the ouster of Mohammed Mossadegh as Prime Minister of Iran. Why do you need to say Iran? You can just say Prime Minister.

Why don't these people get edited? What's with the fuck is wrong with you? Sorry. And then in parentheticals, it says, a coup the clerics supported at the time. Okay, so you guys aren't on Iran, Twitter 24 seven. So this is the newest talking point in what I call regime change, Inc.

So part of the violence of being Iranian, kind of hyphenated Iranian in the West is the fact that there are literally, and I'm not joking guys, literally thousands of professional revolutionaries working with suits and ties in DC and all over sort of London. There's probably in London, there's probably a Canadian, there's definitely a Canadian version, I know it actually.

And these people work and they're literally professional neoliberal revolutionaries, right? Their goal is to call for regime change, regime change. Some of them are monarchists. Some of them are part of a leftist faction called the Mojahedin-e-Khalgh. The People's Mojahedin, that's a different story, MEK. Good ol' MEK, yeah, I've heard about them.

And Howard Dean getting fucking payouts from them. Jolton, Giuliani, Gingrich, all of these guys get paid by the MEK through the Gulf countries, might I? Like no one knows where the MEK gets hosted. The MEK, you should know, joined with Saddam in the 80s to fight Iran in the national, so that tells you how much support that they have. So it would be like the French government

going to the Red Army fraction, like the RAF, and being like, we support these guys and giving them suits and making conferences for them and then making entire TV channels for them, because that's part of it too, is that they can't actually win the war, like the sort of regime change war with Iran, the way that they could so many times, right?

Like a coup is only the final attempt, right? Like the coup is the last straw, and if that doesn't work, then you have to have an invasion and whatever, right? So all these different attempts over 40 years, supporting Iraq, like supporting the sort of isolation of Iran, all kinds of attempts, subversion, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?

Supporting any kind of so-called political protest in Iran. All of these things, as a result, make it in, it makes it totally unable for you to sort of work out any real problems that you might have with the Islamic Republic, right? Like- Except, Sina, Sina, Sina, Sina, Sina. You're clearly missing the point,

which is that they hate freedom. Brett Stevens said it, he said it, they hate freedom. And I think, who would have been in charge at that point? Not the solucids, that was way earlier. But whoever was in charge of Iran- The direct descendant's a king, totally. Hate freedom.

It's like, they don't, I mean, that's why it's important, like use the phrase Islamic Republic. Like use, because it really is an attempt. And people will laugh at me, I'm gonna get so much fucking scorn for this. You're gonna have like, I'm not that important, so they won't come to you. But like, since you guys have a do sizeable audience,

you're gonna have people like, like, you know, shitting on this episode, saying, oh, he's a regime apologist. Like, I haven't been back to Iran since I was 11 months old. And that's directly the fault of the US. Like my life has been fucked with by the US, by jackasses like Brett Stevens.

Like my family has been ripped out of Iran. Like that kind of natural kind of progression of a life, right, of like a people, a nationality, whatever you wanna call it, right? We have not been able to have a kind of relatively peaceful, post-revolutionary life, except, you know, because simply, because there are literally a billion dollar industry

dedicated to regime change. What if Kareem Khan in 1776, I looked it up, what if Kareem Khan was just really pissed? 76, it's all just their dumb little liberal empire, nobody cares about it. He knew. Yeah, he was mad about George Washington's fly-ass wouldn't he?

He knew, jealous as hell. He knew that this country was so intellectually powerful that it would create, it would create what would eventually become the seminal series, Seinfeld. And Iran would never be able to produce anything as intellectually rigorous as Seinfeld. And I think with that finally concluded,

with, I think we've gone to the bottom of it, it's that Kareem Khan in 1776 knew that America was setting itself on a path where eventually Jerry Seinfeld would have to wear a puffy shirt, and that they knew that the society they were building would never be able to compete. And so really, they're actually just jealous.

However. You don't understand, in 300 years time, there will be a scene in which he gets the number plates, but they are not the number plates he expects. They say, ass man, and he must find out who the ass man is. We will never create something like this. And so, and so I think that's probably as good a time as any to wrap it.

Sina, thank you very much for coming on. Thank you for hosting me. Let me just, I wanna add one more thing. Is that part of the, the finish my last thought, the part of the impossibility of people like me in this position is that you end up being, the ideas you're labeled, quote unquote, or as a slur supporter of the government.

I'm gonna tell you right now, I support the Islamic Republic in the sense that I support the American government and the Canadian government. Insofar as, no, there doesn't need to be a sort of destructive national war to overthrow it, unless it's for everyone, right? Unless we're gonna overthrow all the regimes

that we can't throw overthrow any of the regimes. And this is like, and you have to have us, and this is simply the problem of making Iran a normal country. It has been a normal country. It's just the reaction to Iran and its ability to basically have an independent struggle. That's the abnormal thing.

And that's what's like brought us here. And, and you know, I'm not, it's weird for me to sit here and defend a state. You know, because it's not like I'm defending a state. A state is my definition of violent entity, right? Like that's what the state does. It's violent. But like the thought of like, you know,

birth defects that are affecting Fallujah, like the thought of that happening in Iran, like the thought of my cousins being blown to bits. Like these are things that just gets your brain, like it just gets you like activated. And they've only shot themselves in the foot by doing it like this. Like if you really, I mean,

it just shows that they're desperate. They're desperate for anything. They, they have these coitry of natives that they can't get it done. They have a media class that works full time to alienate Iran and make it a vicious piece. And it doesn't work. So they're just going to try to make up a false flag attack.

But after Iraq, is anyone going to believe them? Like after everything they've done, like they've only sort of, they've only sort of proven how feckless the American empire is. And the fact that they can't even knock over one measly Iran is just proof that all that military hardware, what good was it for?

Well, look, here's the thing. At least 50% of those carriers are probably going to get pretty close to Iran, right? But, but it is time. Look at this whole Iranian thing. I'm pretty sure George Costanza is actually dating a girl who has 10 aircraft carriers. So he's going to, he's going to sort of sell out.

I broke up with them. It is, but it is time for us to roll. So you can find East as a podcast anywhere you find podcasts. Yeah, this is Eastpodcast.com. Come check it out. A lot of diverse topics. It's been Iran heavy lately. I'm sorry, but it's fun.

It's fun. It's a fun podcast. Buy a Chavez mug as well. I've been, I've been in seeing this car and like all I can say is that like buy, buy the mug cause he really needs to buy the mug. Buy the mug, buy the mug everyone. You guys, thank you.

And yeah, and from our end, we'll see all of you later. Yeah, all I can say is ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Can you play the Seinfeld theme music? I'll play the Seinfeld theme music. Was that what it was? The Seinfeld theme music.