TRASHFUTURE - What If Your House Was the Cops?

Episode Date: September 3, 2019

It’s a truly classic TF lineup this week with Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum) discussing Dominic Cummings supposed genius, but mostly recoiling in horror at an app that’s going to record everything that goes on inside your house, scan your face for fear, and grass you out to the cops. It’s not good! If you like this show, sign up to the Patreon and get a second free episode each week! You’ll also get access to our Discord server, where good opinions abound. https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* Guess who’s going to play live at The World Transformed in Brighton this September? That’s right, your favourite podcast lads. Buy a ticket here: http://theworldtransformed.org If you want to buy one of our recent special-edition phone-cops shirt, shoot us an email at trashfuturepodcast[at]gmail[dot]com and we can post it to you. (£20 for non-patrons, £15 for patrons) Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

Okay, so first of all, we have to admit that I like any effort to stop No Deal Brexit is already fucked because we're dealing with the strategic mastermind in the form of ragamuffin genius dominant Cummings. It's like, it's like if a guy who was... Say it into your mic please. Oh, sorry, if we were like, no, you can't speak. Just like kind of racist. We know what happens when the mischievous Saracens speaks. Um, no, I was going to say this, like if, if like a dungeon, if the guy who's like the dungeon master and Dungeons and Dragons like gets a policy roll. No, Dominic Cummings research the ancient methods of the Greeks, which involved rolling a 20 sided dice to decide what to do to keep their enemies confused.

Hi everyone, welcome back to your week's TF. It's Riley, Milo, Hussein and Alice. Hey. Hello. Um, I want to, I want to finish this thing about Cummings because Milo so rudely interrupted me. We've been edging on the Cummings. Milo so rudely interrupted me. With historical facts. Not caring about facts.

With historical facts about ancient Greece in particular. Um, the thing I love a trash future episode could be least about fresh antiquity. Yeah, we should. Hey, we should because I hate history and facts because I just like my feelings. So this is from an article in CNN Cummings is a paradox that even Machiavelli might struggle to understand. What? No Machiavelli, the smallest man has ever lived. Yeah. Machiavelli Sun Tzu. The most, the most, the most double genius. Who, who invent, who wrote an entire book about how, yeah, uh, fucking luck is fucked.

Um, luck is basically like a woman and women are fucking crazy. Sun Tzu. And that was Machiavelli's more or less thesis for much of what he talked about. There's a whole bunch of joking. Like we don't know. There's a whole bunch of conservative philosophers like Leo Strauss who are trying to reinvent Machiavelli as, um, like a, like a secret early classical liberal when really he was, he was just a vengeful poster. Yeah. Leo Strauss, uh, Tupac.

I'm now just imagining Italian American Machiavelli just being like, when your enemy is near, appear far, when your enemy is far, be fucking his Guma. So, um, Cummings is a paradox that even Machiavelli might struggle to understand. He is simultaneously loved, feared and respected, especially by this podcast. People who disagree with his methods cannot deny his genius and privately wish he was on their side. I'd like this better when we were doing it about Steve Bannon. Yeah. At almost. He was the Sun Tzu Machiavelli brain God.

It's, it's, it's that every time the liberals lose, they need to blame some kind of like tactical Wunderkind who's like got a quadruple digit IQ because he's read the Wikipedia page for Thucydides. But anyway, I actually, to prove that Cummings is actually the strategic genius who's going to fuck us all over. Um, I've actually taken a portion of his blog. Yeah. That's a smart people thing, having a blog. Yeah. Real smart people have a podcast. So this is from Cummings blog about what he believes Brexit will do for Britain in the long term. Quote, if Britain were to focus on science and education with huge resources and a newfound seriousness.

So not your grievance studies. So we stopped doing grievance studies and started doing serious together. That's the only kind of science. Then this regulatory diversity would help not just Britain, but all of Europe and the global science community. We could make Britain the best place in the world for those who can invent the future. So just taking some Mark Fisher lines. I didn't know that this sounds like a lot. This sounds like a very elaborate plan to bring back phrenology.

Yeah. Well, it always is the other kind. The real discrimination is against people who like lax regulations. Also, Raleigh, do you have a Paul Lanyard? Do you have a Lanyard from the upscale bakery, Paul? No, that came from the squashed macaroons that Hussein brought into the studio. I got sent, I got like given some macaroons. Can you say that into the microphone, please? Yeah. And they got crushed because I put them in my bag.

So I was like, hey, have some squash macaroons. Dominic Cummings added again. Dominic Cummings squashed my macaroons. I don't know why that was relevant to his podcast, but it's just like, he squashed the macaroons before. I was convinced it was a Lanyard for a second. I was like, why would anyone have a Paul Lanyard? It's not even that good of a bakery.

Under Brexit, everything's become so crushed together that the think tanks have to become bakeries on the side. Just eating a big wedge of IEA cake that just tastes like shit. I could imagine Tom Kabasi as a jolly pizza chef. Paul stands for like the People's Autonomous Utilitarian Learning Lab. Anyway, I could have done a lot worse. Back to this. So here's what Cummings says he thinks we could do if we do this. We could make Britain the best place in the world for those who can invent the future.

We could call up Jeff Bezos and say, okay, Jeff, you want a permanent international moon base? Let's talk about who does that, but not with the old rocket technology. If you call Jeff Bezos and say, okay, Jeff, he sends a SWAT team to your house to murder you. Okay, Jeff. I can just kind of imagine what Dominic Cummings looks like right now. Like Ben's at Cumberbatch. We saw that movie. No, no, he looks work because if he looked like Dominic Cumberbatch, I think that would actually be better. It would not make me feel so disturbed,

but Dominic Cummings in real life just looks like a very disheveled... Like he looks like a disheveled office worker who just fantasizes about being in the matrix all the time. Spoiler alert for later in the show. You know, he looks like the synthesis of both characters on Peep Show. That's what he believes Britain needs to do. Britain in the EU has been all-Mark and yet Britain outside the EU can be Jez. Welcome to my 10,000-word blog post about the political potentials of Apollo House. Yeah, it's like the EU saying that, well, you can actually control migration from the EU

if you bother to like issue them with like proper identity papers and check on what they're doing. But I won't do that. You're using my nature against me. You know my nature, the EU. It's also very cool how like Dominic Cummings just gets to walk into Downing Street wearing pajama pants and a big Johnson t-shirt and just proclaim that like Britain is going to be the new home of FaZe Clan. And then everyone's like, oh, wow, he's such a genius. That's how it's going to stuff you do when you're a smart person. He's the man who's going to turn number 10 into mom's basement.

He's finally going to turn it into number 11. And then number 11 goes into number 12 and so on and so on. And the entire country moves up one. It's just STEM. Why are you grieving studies people so averse to this? He's trickled down economics in action. Yeah, he said old rocket technology. What's his new thing? And what is regulatory diversity going to do?

Are we going to have like fuel made of, I don't know, like ground up children or something? First of all, Interstellar was a documentary. Second of all. Second of all what? You were doing a comedy bit. One of them jokes. One of them jokes. That was really just to do one of those at some point.

One day. If only Dominic Cummings would let me get away with it. I need Andrew Doyle to teach me the only joke he knows and then I'll have one. Teach us the joke, Andrew. Alright, so I mostly what I want to do with today is I want to talk about a startup and it's too obvious when I tell you what the name is, so I'm not going to give you the name. Too fast, too obvious. Instead, I'm just going to say, this is from the copy.

We have developed a device in the socially acceptable form of a pair of glasses. Oh, no, it's too late. I know this, I know this because I... Go ahead, I'll keep my mouth shut, but I have been shown this. Hugo Drax has developed this device. It may as well have been. Like now I know, now I'm in on this. I can tell you it's the most super villainous shit imaginable.

We have developed a device in a socially acceptable form of a pair of glasses that a person could put on in moments when he or she needs to be blank. Oh, it's a monocle. It's glasses. Even knowing what it is, I'm going to say gaming. It needs to be racist. Yeah, absolutely. It's like those glasses.

You know that meme that comes from that movie that I don't know, but like the guy puts on the glasses. Oh yeah, that meme from that movie. They live, right? Put on the racism glasses or start using that trash can. I can't even remember, but it's like one of those critiques on advertising. Like that movie, Thank You for Smoking. On this episode of Trash Future, I explain the movie They Live to these Philistines. It's got Roddy Piper in it.

What more do you hogs want? Sir, I've only seen one movie and that's the best version of the last Jedi where everyone's a dude. Yeah, I've only seen Sargon of the Cards, Recon of the Last Jedi. Yo, you want the last Jedi, but you want everyone to be a dude? That sucks. We envision a future in which more people can decide to be when they want to be more blank. And in those moments, they can put on this to help them. Racist and blackface.

Oh, this is a French product. We have between the acceptable form of a pair of glasses that have a huge comic of Hollywood mask attached to them. This is to help you see. I'm just picturing like the groucho glasses with the nose and the moustache, but it's just a terrible drawing of my arm. Okay. There's a small bomb attached to it by a string, so it hangs down by your toe. Francis from the Q&A.

Q, is it for mind reading? A, no, it has nothing to do with mind reading. What a useful Q&A. It's like 20 questions. Yeah, it's not. Don't worry. This has nothing to do with mind reading. What were you thinking this was? Thanks for clearing that up.

This has nothing to do with mind reading t-shirt. Is that raising a lot of questions already answered by my shout? What do you mean raising questions in your mind? Because I can read it. No, I can't. And then you walk into your job in number 10, Downing Street, because you're dominant coming. And he grew up to be Barack Obama. Anyway, so here is the reveal. The attentive view glasses use brain activity as well as eye movements

to measure the engagement of a person in a task. I don't know, man. This sounds like a very elaborate plan to bring back phrenology. Not exactly. No. It's more like an elaborate plan to bring back the shock collar. We put the glasses on these Italians while they engaged in some light fevery and general stuggishness. The sensors measure engagement of a person in a task in real time and provide audio or haptic feedback to the user when their engagement is low.

Like it touches you in your brain. Yeah, like it touches your brain with it. So we're getting these from Milo. So every time he does a pedophilia joke. Touch my brain. This is life. Anyway, we in Zapp. Zapp. Yeah. We're getting one for you that you can get that. Yeah. Instead of drops, the audience participation is you can like

electrocute Milo's brain. And so it provides either audio or haptic feedback to the user when their engagement in the task is low. They're by nudging it to become engaged again. We envision a future in which people can decide what they want to be more attentive and can in those moments put on their attentive you glasses to help them be more focused. You know what someone's going to have to do is hack these and just make the equivalent of the glasses Homer wears

when he's doing jury duty that have eyes on them. I have to be listening to you because I'm wearing my attention glasses. Well, just jailbreak a bunch of them that allow you to slack off and daydream. Exactly. I couldn't imagine these ever being used by anyone except when they want themselves to focus more on something. Absolutely. There's no kind of coercive element to this. The cool thing about these is there is zero potential for misuse.

It's great. It's great. It's fantastic. It's also extremely relevant right now because the only kind of news that we're getting out of Downing Street when it comes to Dominic Cummings is that he's just getting mad all the time. Like he's getting mad at everyone who works for him. He's kind of like threatening de-selection for any MPs who cross him in any way. That's practice though. If you're playing Farmville, then he says, no, you must play astronaut farmer. I mean, probably, yeah. I read somewhere that he was also really pissed off

that he felt that civil servants working in number 10 weren't doing enough work. You have to do a high quantity of work. The work that you're doing has to be referencing Thucydides and adding large numbers together. Oh, absolutely. It's only going to take a few more weeks before he like demands like p-samples from everyone. What if you had a million Thucydides and you added them to another million Machiavelli's? That's like the kind of problem Dominic Cummings aims to solve. Thucydiavelli. He's a made guy from Delaware.

Put it all together and you get one Paul Giamatti. Yeah. Absolutely. Thucydides Machiavelli is Paul Giamatti who's been biding his time. Paul Giamatti is Q. Paul Giamatti is Q. Fuck. Sorry. Say whatever you want, Alice. Rather than just say Paul Giamatti is Q.

Paul Giamatti is Q. Paul Giamatti is a QT. Oh boy. What a cute ass. I would love if Paul Giamatti revealed himself as Q and then just said T and then winked at the camera and said aren't I a stinker? Oh man. It's been a long day. So how did you have the idea for this project? What is the problem you guys are trying to solve?

Is it people with attention deficit disorder? That's what they claim. Oh shit. Really? Like explicitly. Yes. Initially the idea appeared as a way to help those 10% of school-age children suffering from ADD or ADHD. It's hyperactive cousin and low attention span issues limiting their ability to do well in school. How? This seems like in the same way that hissing a kid every time they don't write with their right hand is helping people who are left handed. Yeah. Also the thing is like it's I often think about this about ADHD and ADD, right?

Like the school is such an unnatural place. It's this forwardest institution where you're supposed to sit down and focus on a single task in silence for like eight hours at a time. And like that's just not natural behavior for children. And it used to be that teachers just beat them until they sort of work out. And now that they've stopped being able to do that, we have lots of like diagnoses of ADHD. So it's almost like the problem wasn't that we should bring the beatings back and the problem isn't like there's not enough medication. The problem isn't like all chemtrails giving them ADD. The problem is school. The problem is school.

And they're like, what if we had a pair of shock glasses that we could just distribute to all the children so that they could really focus on what the meaning is behind it. Like 1984. But like you're right as well that like it used to be targeted for doing something that was extremely monotonous that you had to pay attention to. Like working on an assembly line. Now we don't do that anymore. There isn't even by its own logic if you like. There isn't a work experience you're being prepared for where you have to like sit in silence for eight hours, look straightforward and focus on one repetitive task, right? Yeah.

And just in continuing to sort of try and mold kids to fit this exact same shape seems to be doing them a big disservice when people mold themselves to this exact same shape, end up being great at school university, graduate with good grades and then realize that they have no idea how the world works because they're not it's not like they're going into a Fortis job where they'll work their way up an assembly line or an accountancy firm or whatever usually. Anyway, listen to our cool podcast where we're like, hey kids, school sucks, drop out and do drugs. It's fine. We're worrying too much about the kids. Climate change is going to get them all anyway. Yeah. Yeah.

Climate change needs to get most of them or they're going to enslave all of us. Future job was a radar clan leader. Very focused radar clan leader though. You'll recall what I said earlier about how initially the idea was to help with ADD. Here's part two of that answer. Since then, we have moved forward to workplace applications. Oh, good. This hit 209 to the original RoboCop.

Both horrible ideas, but this one. And other environments where extreme attention, performance or fatigue are known to occur. I'm going to push back a contest. And just jolting you isn't going to be like dangerous, right? You need to be very attentive while you're working 50 stories up with no safety hazards. Hey, hey, hey, are you paying attention? Are you paying attention? Seems like you're not paying attention.

Oh, so I'm also just going to put this back in context. Remember what they said earlier? We envision a future where people could decide when they want to be more attentive and in those moments put on their glasses to help keep them focused. Workplace applications. The fucking Nazis at least gave you meth to do this. Yeah. So that's that.

Welcome to this other chapter of the future. Don't worry. This isn't a startup yet. It's just a very buzzy research project that probably will be a startup soon. And it's going to be like a thing where you might be able to be on something called flexi pay where they actually track how much you pay attention with the attentive you glasses or some of the other technologies we've discussed. And then you get paid down to the penny based on how much attention you're paying to your work.

And then if you go on Facebook, it will shock you. And so you can start earning money again. Or if you want to browse the news or just like surf for fun, you could endure the shocks and not get paid. Well, I mean, it's very buzzy in the sense of the buzz is being delivered directly to your temple. I for one, I'm willing to I'm I for one, I'm willing to like power through the shocks. If it means I get to watch another like 75 recipe pizza dear video. Oh, that was yeah.

You know what the real irony is now I can only come when I don't pay attention to the porn. That's why we're consolidating it with the chastity belt. Oh, absolutely. It's all all of this goes together. Yeah, it just zaps your dick every time you're not paying attention. Yeah, it's like all all of the products and startups that we've talked about on trash future over the last couple of years. They're actually all different facets of the same. It's all owned by Bezos somehow.

They're all building to the future of Jeff Bezos personally zaps your dick when you're not paying enough attention at work. Yeah, absolutely. In fact, here's a here's a little speaking of which here's a little more dystopia for us. Um, doorbell camera firm ring has partnered with 400 police forces around the US extending surveillance concerns granting them access to homeowners neighbor doorbell camera footage and a powerful role in what the company is calling the nation's new neighborhood watch. Because the old one was so racist. Yeah, it's not as though like the old one was just basically a sort of cleaned up and sanitized descendant of like KKK patrols. This is good though. Those doorbell cameras give us like a funny meme video.

It's like the guy who was leaving old TVs on people's doorsteps. And the other great thing about the doorbell cameras is because they're made of science, they can't be racist. Yeah, exactly. Famously so. And also they're actually reporting all of these images to the police rather than an unaccountable gang. Exactly. Yeah. No, I can see this working out.

It's all been designed by an objective scientist, a Dr. J. Mengele. Actually, it was designed by a Dr. J. Bezos. Guess what? Ring zone by Amazon. Dr. J. Free Kisses. Of course. Yeah. So both of those doorbells, both of those doorbells are like regardless of what when you go on Amazon, like it always recommends it to you. Regardless of what you're looking for. That or the Alexa. So really it's pick your poison for surveillance.

They're recommending both. Hold up. It's owned by Amazon, right? Yes. Is it owned by recognition with a K? Yep. It's not owned by, but it's integrated with. Okay. So it's the same one, the same software that we just talked about being able to detect both gender and fear. Correct.

Yes, that's right. What if your gender is fear? Don't worry. So now the police have cameras all over your house. And they can sense your fear. Yes. Really? What if your house was the cops? What if your house was the cops?

Okay, so this is good. We got a new shirt. We got a new shirt out of it. It's fine. It's worth it. So I'm going to jump into this article. One of those horror films where like the house is evil and it like turns against the family that moved in there. Oh my God, we have to call the police now. She's like, I am the police.

Yeah. It's the Amityville Horror PD. Yeah. Why are we on such an 80s movie thing today? Sorry, episode title, Amityville PD. So this is into the article. And I want to start citing the articles we're using. These partnerships let police request the video recorded by homeowners' cameras within a specific time and area, helping officers see footage from the company's millions of interconnected video cameras installed nationwide.

Wow, I bet that's a very onerous request procedure. Oh, I'm sure, yeah. It's probably very rarely gets authorized. Damn. I love that the Gestapo is crowdsourced now. That's so cool. Officers don't receive ongoing or live video access and homeowners are free to decline the requests, which Ring sends via email thanking them in advance for making your neighborhood safer.

Oh God. You're completely free to decline the request. Yeah. Oh, fucking hell. Spam filter has practiced. Spam filter doing ACAB. It is so like the fucking like the point of neoliberalism that we're at, that like not only is like now going to space is a private enterprise,

but even fucking like state surveillance is now a private enterprise. Like literally the state can't even be bothered to fund its own fucking secret police. They just rely on a fucking gullible starzy of volunteers who just want to have a cool doorbell or a fucking like blender with a camera in it for some fucking reason so it can look at you and tell you how healthy you are as you drink your fucking kale smoothie, but also can miraculously like phrenologize all the black people in your neighborhood and call the cops on them.

What a cool future we live in. And it's also good that we have to buy it. Yeah. So Ring officials and law enforcement partners portray the vast camera network as an irrepressible shield for neighborhoods. Yeah, it's like the shield. So if your police department wants to do the shield shit, they'll be very, very easy for them to get dirt on everybody.

Very cool. I mean, Jeff Bezos does just look like a skinnier Michael Checklist. Oh, yes. Yes, he's Michael Checklist, but thin. Michael Dickless, am I right? Oh, got him. But legal experts and privacy advocates have voiced alarm. Privacy advocates, people who jack it, am I right?

Yeah. Why are you a privacy advocate? You jacking it? Yeah, you know who else was a privacy advocate? One Jay Epstein. Checkmate. But legal experts and privacy advocates have voiced alarm at the company's eyes everywhere ambitions.

In fact, Jeffrey Epstein would never have had one of these doorbells. First of all, because he lived on an island. Yeah. And increasingly close relationship with the police saying the program could threaten civil liberties and turn residents into informants and subject innocent people, including those who ring users because the users get to do this. Flag is suspicious to greater surveillance and personal risk. You don't even have to like twitch the net curtain anymore.

You can just do it with an app. Yeah. You just you just get it's like instead if you're walking walking through your neighborhood and you just see a minority and you don't even have to cross the street anymore or call the cops. You just hit a button and then their picture is taken from every angle. And then they're arrested on suspicion of being suspicious. Damn, that's the real minority report.

I love to turn my neighborhood into a psychonauts level. Yeah. It's metal gear. Every neighborhood is metal gear now. Yeah. By tapping into a what's this box doing here? By tapping into a perceived need for more self surveillance and playing on consumer fears about crime and security ring has found a clever work around for the development

of a wholly new surveillance network. This is a privacy advocate saying this without the kind of scrutiny that would happen if it was coming from the police or government and this pulling back to Riley here. I think this is the key concept because it reminds us that all tech disruption almost universally is about workarounds with respect to civil and labor protections. Never break through innovation. Yeah.

I mean, this doesn't make it that much easier for you to like report people because that was already very easy with the established structures of racism or whatever. You can just call the cops. Yeah. People have been doing it. Yeah. They basically have disrupted being barbecue Becky.

It also does. It just removes accountability, right? Yeah. Because if you do it by an app and like it's just, oh, yeah. Four users have flagged this person as suspicious. Yeah. You just get downvoted. It's just like red.

So it's like, what if you can do the same thing, but no one can call you racist because no one can prove that you were the one who yeah. You could just like angry react to some black person in your neighborhood. That's who that's who that's who this is for. This is providing an essential service to those people that like to call the cops on black people who are just be existing and it removes the social stigma from doing that. That's exactly what this is. And also it's a whole new vector of like surveying everything.

Yes. Wow. I had to have to bbm the cops every time I saw a black person for now. Yeah. Because here's the other thing, by the way. This private snap. Yeah. Getting on the private snap, getting on their only fans like, oh, I had to send the cops

a picture of my dick that said, arrest this black guy. Yeah. Oh man. If you are over here, I'd so ask you to arrest every minority that walks through my neighborhood because I'm a paranoid piece of shit. Yeah. And God, it's so depressing. So here's, here's, here's more.

The neighbors feed, which is not, as I initially thought, a feed of the Australian situation comedy neighbors. It's actually a soap opera. Sorry. Go off, I guess. Fuck off. The neighbors feed operates like an endless stream of local suspicion combining official police reports compiled.

It's a huge trough that you and all your neighbors eat out of. Combining local official police reports. Oh yeah. By the way, one thing, it doesn't just watch your door because it's such a good camera that it, even if you don't have the, the ring app app installed, it will watch your neighbor's door. Your neighbor's door will still watch yours. Wow.

Who will watch the watchman, right? Damn. Something like that. Did you come up with that? Yeah. It's who, who will watch the movie? Watchmen on their ring camera, pirating my, my cable subscription, looking into my window, watching me watch watchmen.

I'm looking forward to the streaming applications of just doing Twitch of my doorbell camera as I report people for existing. I mean, that, that will probably be a very successful like Facebook street, like, because you know, like when Facebook dude tried the whole streaming thing, it still exists, but like you just find the weirdest and dumbest shit there. Yeah. Stupid hours of the morning. And one of them will be 16 hours of my ring doorbell camera.

Yo, I'm, I'm, I'm huge on ring. And now everyone's just looking at the cloud. Like it's the first film entirely shot on ring doorbell cameras. Like there is no plot per se, but in a way it's an art of its own kind. They should do a tie in with the movie, the ring. Ooh. Whoa. So what most subversive use of this is Samara crawls out of your phone cause she's on the

camera, but then the police come and arrest her. The most subversive use of this I can think of is you set up a TV in front of your ring camera and stream that so you can like stream paper view. Or you just freak out the cops by making them think they're about to get Samara. So anyway, the neighbors feed, which is a social media version of this. So don't worry, your insane neighborhood watch that's connected to the cops is also a social media network. So it's going to have a comment section just full of Q stuff and boomer memes.

Yes. Amazing. It's a version of 4chan where you can actively call the police on people that you're frightened of cause you're racist. That's too powerful. Like, no. Here's the synthesis. It's metal gear Reddit.

Fuck me. It is. The neighbors feed operates like an endless stream of local suspicion combining official police reports compiled compiled by the official neighbors news team with what ring calls hyper local posts from nearby homeowners reporting, reporting stolen packages, mysterious noises, questionable visitors, mysterious noises. Remember, okay. Remember when Cornell West was trying to get into his own house and everyone called the

cops on him because they thought he was robbing a house in DC because they didn't think a black man would live. This happens like Stormzy as well, right? Yeah. Yeah. This happens to black men trying to get into their own houses. Right. And all that will happen is now there will be like a social media feed of nosy waspy

neighbors constantly calling the cops on their black neighbors trying to get into their own houses through their black neighbors front doors. Yeah. It's going to be. Oh, sorry. I used your house to call the cops on you because we're all looking out for each other. I forgot you were one of us. No.

It's not good. No. Oh, and missing cats. That's the other thing questionable visitors and missing cats. Because ring is all about getting that pussy. It's a cat that was just trying to get into its own house, but this classic anti-cat discrimination about a third of neighbors posts are for either suspicious activity or unknown visitors. The company said about a quarter of posts are crime related and only a fifth are for lost

pets. What the fuck are the rest? Probably people trying to do like viral content. Oh, that's true. This blew up. Check out my sound clouds. Knocking on a door, but then doing a seven years late Harlem shake because they're boomers. Just leaving like a bag of dog shit on fire.

It's your own door and then you stop it out. You hold up a sign that says this is what liberals are like. I love to get shot by the cops because I'm trying to do that like freeze frame meme. Yeah. They're all just planking, just doing a bunch of just dead ass old internet shit. Dead ass is in dead ass serious, but dead ass is dead. This is very dead content. Dead ass is fucking shit.

Anyway, users, which the company calls neighbors. Fucking cyborg T1000 face Mr. Rogers over here. Here we don't use the phrase users. Yeah. Or we don't use the phrase snitches. Yeah. Oh, it said this doorbell is a fucking rat. Taking the doorbell camera out in the pine barons.

Yeah. The doorbell told me it was an interior decorator. This place looked like shit. Have we like talks about like how much like porn is going to come out of this, this product? Oh yeah. It's finally going to just, it's going to replace all of the just not particularly enjoyable like fake taxis amateur like doorbell. Oh my goodness.

Yeah. Okay. That's the one good output of this is fake doorbell. You're pretty cheeky bastard for a doorbell. Doorbells. I go on love. Get your tits out. Flagging a suspicious vehicle, but it's the bang bus.

And the guy, the guy who does it will be like, all the porn will be like Amazon guys. Oh yeah. It was on FC ambassador Rocco. I was told that I needed to come and install your doorbell. Hey, you doorbells new in town. And the thing just immediately calls the police, which I guess would be the right thing to do with Rocco. He comes to your door and asks if you're in town.

I only have a fox consensually, obviously 200 euros for some reason. Oh man. I let this, he's the kind of guy that should be rich. Okay. So users, which the company calls neighbors are anonymous on the app, but the public video does not obscure faces or voices from anyone caught on camera. Of course. Participating police officers can chat directly with users on the neighbor's feed and get

alerts when a homeowner posts a message inside their watch jurisdiction. Text the cops. Yeah. What if the cops were your Facebook friends? MSN messenger bump the cops. Yeah. Poke the cops. Not, not to snitch on myself or anything, but I like recently called the cops for the

second time ever to report an actual legit hate crime. And it took like three weeks and they showed up and kind of shrugged at me. So this, this would have been great. If I could do that. If only you had, if only you had a ring camera in a certain house in Norwich. If only the crime that I was trying to report had been a like suspicious bang bus parked outside my flat. Yeah.

No, get a camera mounted in your ring to report suspicious activity. Okay. The neighbors app also alerts users when a new police force partners up saying quote, your ring neighborhood just got a whole lot stronger. It really sounds to me like it's to do with anal training. Yeah. Your ring just got a lot stronger. Your ring, your ring is fucking so ready.

It's out of you. Yeah. Yeah. Just like your, your camera calls the police going to like to report some suspicious activity around this bussy. Just constant just setting up a ring camera just so you can moon it and all of your neighbors have to see it. Practice.

Flagging your ring as a suspicious person to the police have to come and investigate it. So here's a new pair. Here's another paragraph that has a lot in it. There's like, there's a lot in this paragraph. The head of his department's neighborhood watch program, Rad Rattello. No. Nice. Rad R A double D space Rattello.

Sounds kind of. It's short for radicchio. What's the problem? It sounds kind of porny. It's Rad Rattello and he's here to talk to you about the neighborhood watch. Exactly. The neighborhood watch and your wife mass debate in a fake neighborhood watch. Yes.

It's the modern day courtesy bar. Rad Rattello who runs his department's neighborhood watch program said rings local growth has had an interesting side effect. People now believe crime is rampant in Frisco. In Frisco. No one says Frisco. No one. Rad Rattello does.

It's the Rad Rattello way. He's not a real person. That's it. He's Rad Rattello and he referred to it as Frisco. Not a real person. He's a character from Starsky and Hutch. I'm just impressed that they managed to find a neighborhood watch application that was creepier than the 1980s British neighborhood watch stickers.

Which feature like a fucking protect and survive like Joker makeup ass cop. It's terrifying. Should be the episode. With the huge fucking helmet on the old fashioned one. It's literally very much like the what if your phone was the cops shirt that we make. Yeah. That's sure it's getting awful literal for my liking. Uh-huh.

Yeah. What if your door was the cops? Yeah. Great. Thanks. Why not buy one? We have no XL lift, but we do have nine to XL lift and seven large, 17 medium, one small. Hefty lads.

Yeah. Order in for that small. Hefty lads. Buy a shirt. Yeah. And you know, it's a dress, a two XL shirt. There's a dress. So what I think and I've said this before that because we have only only like mediums

and really big ones left by and large is that our entire is that we need. No, it's that we our audience is all master blasters because we're sold all the extra smalls and we sold all the extra larges and a bunch of master blasters bought them. Because they could match because master blasters have to match. They run barter town. Don't you know? So Rad Rotello, blah, blah, blah. So you just all 80s movies today.

Yeah. It's cool. People now believe that crime is rampant in San Francisco, I'll say, so we don't get hung up on the short form. Now that they see it all mapped in detail in a mobile app, he has had to inform people. He said that the crime has always been there. You're just now starting to figure it out. It's almost like the purpose of this is to make you paranoid.

It's also almost like they're just measuring how suspicious people are getting them more paranoid. Then they report more crimes. So it looks like they need to, I don't know, fund the police state. Hmm. It couldn't be that though. No, I told you, I forgot earlier. I'm such an idiot.

I keep talking about how this is like a combination of incredibly racist and extremely creepy and assisting the like the ongoing mission creep up. I said creep twice of the sort of neoliberalized police state, but I forgot it's made of science. It can't be any of those things. Those things are all opinions, which are words. This is numbers and wires, which is neutral. I tell you what, Dominic Cummings would be a suspicious person if I saw him on my doorbell camera.

Yeah. The only truly neutral wire is the fiber wire, which kills without discrimination. Now, the only true neutral wire is the shigawire, which Ben A. Jezzer at witches conceal in their hair that they might always have a weapon to hand. What? It's from Dune. Yeah. The hitman games are actually in the Dune extended universe.

Oh yeah. Get this hitman expansion pack for the Dune world. Agent 46 is actually trans in Ben A. Jezzer. It's 47. The erasure of trans men. Trans men. The trans men of trans men. That sounds like it would be a car made by like Jensen.

Jensen trans men. Yeah. Your uncle has one for some reason and it always breaks. Exactly. Yeah. There's always something stuck in the sump. There was a car called the Jensen interceptor and I'm just now realizing. There was a car called the Jensen interceptor and I'm just now realizing that a DJ I really

like called Jensen interceptor was named after the car. To Mr. and Mrs. Interceptor, a son, Jensen. You just had a boomer moment, Riley. That's not his real name. I thought it was just like nonsense words. Lots of DJs are just called a few words strung together. That's a weird name. Shut the fuck up, Milo.

The shaking hands meme, but it's DJs, trans people and getting their names from just phonemes that sound good together. Shout out to the entire Glasgow University LGBT society, which is composed of people with names like Lorp. Wait, are you sure they're not just called LARP and you're not in the LARP society? That's true. Yeah. Why do we have to hit each other with these foam swords? I'm into it, but like... Can you hit me harder and more in my ass?

Yeah, it's a little bit vanilla for me. Why do you keep saying five damage? I want you to call me like a bitch or a whore. Why do you keep calling me an orc? Which is my friend's name, orc. Anyway, this is also just a reminder as a coda for the segment that Ring is owned by Amazon. So all the technology we were talking about can also literally sense fear. Nice.

Also, they're going to make you wear the fucking glosses in the Amazon warehouse while the Ring camera watches you. You're getting nudged for not reporting suspicious people enough. You're just renting a backyard and you don't need a kitchen because there's a pizza delivery van driving around your neighborhood. Constantly being reported as a suspicious intruder. And just Rocco's afraid he's just fucking people in the back of it. It's just a line of 20 cop cars trailing this one pizza van. It's a pizza delivery bang bus that makes the pizzas en route. That is the trash future.

What else? What's another startup we've talked about? Oh, the ambulance. It's a pizza. It's a bang bus pizza delivery van and also private ambulance that drives around in an endless loop around rented backyards. All of which are constantly calling the cops all the time. The ambulance picks up the people or the cops shoot. And then it turns them into pizza.

This is just another day in Frisco. Just a day in Frisco, baby. A town which is definitely called that by people who live there. And no one actually ever gets paid by their jobs because they all work in a we work for several different kinds of shell companies but don't actually do anything. So instead they just lend each other money all the time through that loan shark app that we talked about. And they're constantly getting pinged by their smart glasses and smart dick cages. So their dicks and vaginas are locked up so they can't get distracted and if they do get distracted, they're zapped. We're definitely missing some.

That was the one where it was like we work but we just go and work in someone else's house. There is no centralized we work. It's just a group of people rotating between different backyards. Every time they go to someone's house, the ring camera reports them as suspicious. So what we're really saying is that we are creating a Benny Hill future. Yeah, we have made this together. It's our grand unified trash future. Yeah, this is the trash future and it is just being chased in different directions endlessly through room to room by a bunch of policemen that the house itself won't stop calling.

And our only hope of salvation, the trans men. Yeah, because it confuses the gender sensors on the on all of the Amazon software. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, read a book. I think all of this is in capital like verbatim. It's like the coach stuff is just a project to try and get everybody to tune out. The next page after the he finishes with coats is this. It's all this we're just we're just reading from a copy of capital.

Sooner or later, the spinning Jenny will become so expensive to produce that it will grow a camera and begin reporting into the police. Oh, what are some other? Are there any other ones that we've started to talk about? I think we've done the bit now. I have. I'm going to close this out today with a very fun article from a source. Look, I'll be honest, it's a source we don't really go to. The National Review is more for Americans as pure.

That's that's a chapeau monopoly ordinarily. I've decided I want to read one article from the National Review, which I think is especially relevant. It's a good one. We're going to have to do a sit down. We're in chapeau tough. Make yourself some tea for this one. We're going to have to do a sit down with them and like brokered by Jackie April. They now got fucking Italian restaurants in Brooklyn.

Just get micro scene to do it for us. Okay, okay, okay. The title of the article is, Is the Matrix Star Wars for Conservatives? Well, number one, no, because there's women in the Matrix. Oh, yeah, that's true. A version of the Matrix where they edit out Carrie Ann Mars and the Oracle. It's just Neo and Morpheus the whole time.

No, but they're all gamer girls because they live in a huge computer game. They're all like e-girls before e-girls became a thing. Yeah, and they wake up in all that bathwater. Yeah. Okay, it's by Armand White and it's for the National Review and it is called, Is the Matrix the Conservative Star Wars? Yes, end of podcast. Yeah, good, done.

Milo, go to your appointment. Yes, it is. They love taking blue pills. Yeah. In the Matrix, computer hacker Thomas Neo Anderson, Keanu Reeves, in case you were wondering, is recruited... Which is short for neoliberal Anderson. ...is recruited by a group of rebels to fight mysterious agents

who seek to destroy humanity by turning people into energy sources, batteries, in case you were confused, for this dystopian world's computer grid. Damn, and that's like the left wing. That's what Antifa is, is like the twins with the white dreadlocks. That's like telling you you can't say the end word. Antifa is the white dreadlock twins. Yes.

And all the left, the elite champagne socialists are all the Merovingian who just love to give women no-touch-coms with cake. Yeah, it's all weird and creepy shit. So, this terrifying concept appeals to Neo's young adult nihilism. He's just called the conceit of the Matrix terrifying. That is just the tweet about how there's something terrifying about the concept of the Joker.

Someone who finds crime to be funny. And he must choose to accept or deny this truth. That's right. He's just called the conceit of the Matrix terrifying. And he must choose to accept or deny this truth by swallowing either an anesthetizing blue pill or a red pill that allows him to see it for what it is. So, you either get viagra so you can fuck more or you get red pill.

That is conservative. It anticipated the blue-red division of millennial political partisanship. Damn, okay, sorry. I was on a level of thinking too low. Wow. The blue pill in the Matrix represents the Democrats. You know it because you can see it on the TV

when they do the election state by state. Whereas red pill is seeing things for how they really are. Like Donald Trump is a huge ripped guy who's a genius. Yeah. When you uncuck the polls, you see that... You see that... Why are we cucked? You say we are cucked.

I say fuck you, my friend. When you uncuck the polls, you see Marianne Williamson with the commanding lead. You say it again. The terrifying concept, blah, blah, blah. The real subject of the Matrix is hegemony. The rule of authority that hides ideology from people

accustomed to simply accepting and following social conventions. So, you know how the right doesn't have an ideology but the left does? The right just has facts. The right has facts, the left has ideology. I know how facts feel about your feelings. They don't care about them. No, they don't.

Okay, brief digression. I know you have to go Milo, but brief digression. That terminology is so annoying, because facts don't care. Are you such a child? The facts have a telos, Riley. Are you such a child when you say that you have to personify facts?

You couldn't just say your feelings don't matter relative to facts. You could just say that. It wouldn't have to personify the concept of facts. It really pisses me off. Anyway, the real point... Pretty crying to your gaze.

The real point of quote-unquote redpilling a term sometimes abused by zealots today is the need to... Abused by zealots, my new novel. Abused by zealots. Me trying to play Terran against someone who just insists on being protoss and teasing me.

Is the need to rouse people from their acceptance of uncontested preset rules. The true objective of redpill stimulation is released from the dictates of media influence, which is actually the media whose real goal is political control.

Redpill is stored in the dictates. So the yellow is uncontested preset rules that everyone accepts that trans women are women, for example, that aren't contested. Consent is a thing. That's a simulation. The goals of redpill stimulation

is to produce the much more deep and intense male prostate orgasm. This is just tantric politics. All of the preset hagemonies of the left that everyone has to live by or get mildly criticized for, which is the same as being strapped

into a giant computer unconsciously. Mmm. Like, the bluepill is so intense that it managed to bluepill both the directors of the movie. Uh, this awareness so important to our current culture wars should make the matrix more relevant than ever,

but the film's comic book characterizations lessen its impact. So, for example, is used for his androgynous remoteness, not a sense of political curiosity. Yeah, why couldn't he be more alpha? Why couldn't it have been Mr. Smith goes to Washington? Why did it have to be a different movie?

Why couldn't they have done cool kung fu and Mr. Smith goes to Washington and also made it about how Facebook is hiding my likes? I want to read the fucking version of this article about the animatrix. The animatrix is so good. It fucking is.

Like, weird sexy dojo sword fight. I would read that. All of it would be great. Okay, so, Armand Temzarian or whatever your name is, write that article next. In the Wachowski's fevered speculation, the state of the world just before the threat

of Y2K is explained as, quote, the matrix, a pattern of social organization hidden from most people's consciousness. It's really a grab bag of paranoid fantasy cliches borrowed largely from Lewis Carroll's Atlas in Wonderland. Okay, thank you. I remember the bit in the matrix where they go

and find the guy with the hat who's having a tea party with all the animals. Yeah, Cypher. Yeah. Yeah, Joe Pantoliano. It's rare for a pop culture work to benefit conservatives who too often succumb to the temptations

and conformity of the commanding heights. That is, the Hollywood hegemony itself. Damn. I heard the brackets on that one. The woke stars are like Brian Stinger and Harvey Weinstein. Yeah. But the red pill of the matrix

is a distinctive symbol for independent thinking, such as the walk away and Blexit movement suggesting black people don't belong to the Democratic Party. Where's the Blexit? That's one thing that Candice Owens keeps saying, hoping it'll catch on. Now that the term woke has corrupted the idea of enlightenment

generally and invalidated the notion of raised consciousness, the matrix's red pill reminds us... It invalidated the notion of raised consciousness. Well, these guys are all just annoyed that they're not allowed to take the limitless pill anymore or they'll say the N word too hard and get cancelled. Oh, the fuck.

Now that the term woke has corrupted the idea of enlightenment and invalidated the notion of raised consciousness, the matrix red pill reminds us of an alternative course for information. This man's brain is the shape of a pretzel. It's tied in on itself. What?

I don't know what an alternative course for information is or means. It's something that one of the bosses at the end of Metal Gear Solid 2 says to you at half hour into a two and a half hour rant. Oh, yeah, absolutely. We need to remake the United States

and we need an alternative course for information. I'm already gone just, you know, four Coca-Cola's and a second bag of Lay's regular salted in. Unfortunately, the Wachowskis have made a fantasy without morality. Yeah, because you know, at the end where Neo talks about like I'm going to show them

something that they don't need, that frightens, that what is it? I'm going to show these people something you don't want them to see. Black Lives Matter, he's going to... A world without rules, a world without laws, a world without you, blah, blah, blah. Something woke, allegedly. And yeah, though, that's it's not that there's

no broader message the Wachowskis were trying to put into that particular film. It was just cool kung fu that had an accidental incredible metaphor for red and blue states. I mean, he's also like the guy who definitely hasn't watched the second, the sequels, because like, to kind of really understand

what they're getting to, like you need to watch at least like the second one, which was very bad, but also... The Matrix Reloaded about how guns are cool. And other great conservative films. The Matrix Revolutions about how wheels are useful. The Matrix Revolutions is about... It's a documentary about Burkine.

That was the main criticism of the third one, right? That there was not enough cool kung fu scenes. There wasn't enough cool kung fu scenes in that one. Wasn't the point! Anyway, all right, I'm done. Politically simplistic, it's once popular, but superficial relevance lacks the sophistication to be truly compelling,

such as we find in Jean-Luc Godard's profound sci-fi film, Alphaville. Oh, fuck me. Alternatively fast and furious. Jean-Luc Godard, the famous far right icon. Yeah, Alphaville about the chads. The film about the French chads.

Sort of. Wearing their stripy t-shirts with their tiny legs. Godard addressed dystopia as a matter of ethics, faith, and love, both spiritual and romantic, but the Wachowskis are stuck in juvenile excitement and intellectual confusion. So is there a red pill for reviving

a classical perspective? Not being stuck in juvenileity by looking at a guy who recently-ish directed a film called Socialism and thinking it must be about how socialism is bad. No, there is a pill for regaining the

red pill for the classical perspective. Dominant Cummings takes one every morning. It's the multivitamin that makes him super intelligent. I'm absolutely convinced that like Dominant Cummings is a guy who watches the Matrix movie every single morning. Yeah, on VHS, slams it in. Hell yeah.

Starts doing the moves along with- Yeah, Cummings getting it in. The tape into the VHS player. Dominant Cummings just making whooshing noises because it's always sunny in Philadelphia. We're doing karate in front of his TV. And they're just kicking over his own table. The classical perspective red pill is the one

that induces a state of ateraxia. All right, I have to go now. I think that also is about time for us today. Yeah. As ever, thank you so much for listening to TF. We plugged the shirts earlier. I don't think we have anything coming up. We do. We have the world transformed in Brighton.

We're at the 21st. We're in the catalogue. We're going to link that up. I think we're on it like 130. They've given us a huge venue. So if you're at the world transformed, you absolutely must come to this because I am fucking terrified. Yeah. If we do the thing where we're playing to a hall

with eight people in it, we're going to have to do the other thing where we melt down on Twitter because of it. For the record, I'm not terrified, but please do come. If there are like less than 10 people, I'm just going to just sit- I'm just going to tweet. You get to watch us tweet. Yeah, you can watch us tweet.

Some of our best posts. Some of our most premium. You can watch us all tweet onto our small Hussein. Dungaree is Hussein. Sad Riley. Lil Milo. My old account.

It's just called Deployed to My Feelings. It's great. Alice's locked account is just her main account. That's true. I consolidated them. Anyway, all right. See you later, everybody.