Triforce! - A Very Triforce New Year | Triforce #343

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

Triforce! Episode 343! Welcome to 2026, we're sharing our christmas and new year celebration stories! Pyrion has a massive ass disasster in a cinema, Sips spent all of christmas in hospital and Lewis has been frequenting the nude beaches. Go to http://shopify.com/triforce to sign up for your $1 per month trial. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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We're still going somehow. Still somehow going, yeah. It's really, really fresh into the year. It's the second of January today. And most people, I think, are back to work today on Friday, unless you were smart enough to book off this Friday and then you would have gotten a nice long weekend to complement the rest of your holiday time off if you had any. Did you guys have have a nice New Year's party, nice New Year's event. What did you go up to? Oh, boy, did I? I played video games all night long.

And then I did not watch any fireworks or anything. And then I went to bed at like two in the morning. So I wish I'd done that. But instead, I had a pretty bad New Year's Eve. Oh. And I'll tell you why. We decided that as a family we were going to go up for a meal and they were going to go see a movie. Right.

And we were like, you know, let's do something as a family. So, News Eve, about 5 o'clock, we decided to go out for a meal because the movie's at 6. So we go out of 5. We're in Wagamama. We'll have dinner there. TriForce fan sends his best wishes to all of us. Nice. And I'm having the meal.

It's going all right. Get into the cinema. An hour into Marty Supreme, which I was quite enjoying. I feel an emergency is happening in my ass. An arse emergency is happening. Right. Now, the Curzon Cinema, in Richmond. It's a lovely cinema, but the toilets are...

Don't go there now, though. No. It's a bomb site. Give it a couple of weeks. It's a hazard. It says we closed down. The toilets are at the front. The toilets are at the front.

Either side of the screen. There's a door to the jansen, door to the ladies, either side of the screen. I sat bang in the middle, three rows from the front. So I, rather than move all the old people

to our left and right, I climb over the rows of seats, really worried that in that clambering, I'm going to shit myself. It was that bad. Oh, no. to get over, scuttle to the toilet, and I'm in there for, I'm not kidding, a good 25 minutes. Like, it's not going to.

Wow. I'm feeling, like, I've really gone upset stuff. It's like, everything's coming out. And you're like, center stage. Everyone that saw you go in there knows. They know he's having trouble in there. That guy is struggling. And then I know that they're probably not paying attention to me, but I know what I would

be like, I'd be like, that fucking Blake went in there like half an hour ago. Yeah, but surely you'd be able to smell it a bit coming out. No, no, it wasn't. Fucking out. I'm not a dairy cow. You know what? I'm not, it's not like slurry. It's a toilet.

I give me a old courtesy flush now and then. Yeah, yeah. But if it's a small like cubicle-sized toilet, like that the smell's got to go somewhere. It's just volume, right? Just to be clear, it's a door into a very short corridor, into another door that's into the bathroom. Right. And then the store is at the back of that bathroom behind a third door. Right.

So it would have to be like WMD. level dangerous to get out to the theater. Oh, 25 minutes. Was a lot of that cleanup or was it like continuous? No, a lot of it was just me just sitting there thinking there's still more coming. You know that feeling when you've got, the mission is not over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a whole other scene to this movie, which is ironic because Marty Supreme has overlong

as a film. Let me tell you, this toilet trip was well, it was at least half an hour over its runtime. It was bad. So I finish and I'm like, I think I'm okay. My stomach has stopped aching. Nothing's coming out. I don't feel that urge anymore. But I've now been in here for so long

that I start to panic about having to go out in front of the audience. So I'm like, fuck, do I just stay in here for the rest of the movie? And I'm thinking, how long was the movie? And I'm thinking back, and I remember thinking, shit, I think it was like two and a half hours long. And I was only an hour into the movie.

I think I can't spend an hour and something in the toilet. But I also said there's no way that having missed half an hour, I could then just re-enter and go right into the middle of the theater in front of all those people, climb over the seats and sit down like nothing happened. You sit down, you immediately just start laughing and like throwing popcorn everywhere. Oh, yeah, exactly. I'd never have been gone.

So instead, I just scuttle to out of the cinema. I just leave. And I go into the lobby and Mrs. F texts me, are you okay? And I was like, I had a really bad toilet trip and then a panic attack. So I will see you after the movie. So I'm just sat there. in the bar at the cinema, and it's freezing cold. My coat, my hat, and everything are still in the theatre.

So I'm just there, and I'm reading like, the internet signal enrichment is appalling, so I can't even really use my phone. I'm just reading the fucking lobby magazine for Curzon Cinema talking about all the movies they've got coming out. And listening to the film and feeling terrible, and I said to the lads that run the bar there was two guys. I said, can I have a glass of water, please?

They didn't have any questions. They went like, why aren't you in the movie? They didn't say anything, which means they must have just thought he must hate Marty Supreme. I haven't watched the movie yet, lads. I've no idea. It might well be excellent. Isn't it like a sport-based movie thing? Sort of.

It's Timothy Shalami is a guy called, I think, is Marty Houser. He's a table tennis player and kind of a neer-do-well. Oh, is Gwyneth Paltrow in that? Yeah, she's in it too. Right. Interesting. I mean, I was enjoying it. The first hour of it, I thought it was fine.

So, yeah, but either way, everyone comes. out and I'm like waiting for everyone to come out knowing that they're all going to look at me and think, wow, that guy just gave up on the movie. That toilet trip was so bad. He abandoned ship. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. It was like, first of all, I have a similar story where I won't go into detail, but this happened to me when I went to see the movie Life starring Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence. Bad movie. It was a bad movie and I missed almost all of it because I was shitting myself silly in the in the toilet. At the Gloucester Five, the theater. was the Gloucester 5. It also reminded me when I was in Madrid, we were at this bar and we were

drinking vermouths. Right. And if you wanted to go to the bathroom, you had to duck underneath the bar, get behind where all the people are working and serving and stuff, go out into the back, go to the bathroom and then come back out the same way. When you walk out and you're like behind the bar amongst all the staff, ready to duck under or whatever, you feel like a movie star because everybody's looking at you because everybody's waiting to be served and they think that you're there to like help out but you're like, no, I'm just, I just went to the bathroom. I'm just ducking under the bar and joining you again. It's hilarious. I think it's like an old style thing or whatever, but another little bathroom story there for you. Well, do you know,

what caused this bathroom catastrophe, by the way? I had been given a pack of mince, like spear mint, Mints. Chocolate steak mints. No, no, no. They come in a little tin. Beef mints. No, just not beef mints. Mints.

Old from last year. Last year's Christmas bit pudding. I thought that they were just regular mints, but they were sugar-free mints. So I'm chowing on these things like crazy because I'm like, these are really good. They have a laxative effect. They've got that sorbitol, whatever it's called. So I literally. Xylitol.

Yeah. It suddenly hit me, this laxative effect. So it was like I'd taken a bunch of laxatives just prior to watching a two and a half hour movie. That was literally what happened. So it was bad. Don't eat them. So now I'm off. No more sugar-free ship for me.

That's it. Too dangerous. That's so funny. You just don't want to have another episode like that. Oh, love you. We've all got stories where we get caught out, Germain. You know, whether it's in a wood or in a cinema or somewhere, you know. The thing is, like, sometimes it's the...

You know, sometimes it's like, it's like you said, Pflex, the laxative effect of that's coming out fast. Sometimes it's coming out in a slower, more controlled way. It's so loose. It's like, it's like flapping out. It's like your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your whole is so loose. It's like making a flapping sound when the, when the shit is spraying out. Or more like you let out like a test fart and then that leaks a bit and you're like, oh, that's, that wasn't this is more serious. And I think that it's always, you've obviously got like, I don't know, depends how much IBS people have and stuff, but you usually have like a gauge of how long it'll take you

to get to the loo, right? And so you're like, you know, and you're at a restaurant or something, you're like, okay, I can, we could like take our time or it's like, well, you want to wrap up as soon as possible, really and start walking. But then once you're walking, you know, that's going to like put some jostling on and it's going to put the pressure on even more. And then before you know it, you're like crab walking. Like, you know, like you're trying.

And then you're like, oh, oh. Every step you take, like a little squirt is threatening to come out. And you're like, oh, my way. It is it is 2026. And we're already talking about poop. 10 minutes. Two minutes into the podcast. Well, listen to this.

We had an uneventful New Year's and we were grateful for it because on Christmas day, we woke up. Everything was normal. The kids were opening their presents, having a great time. Everything was going good. And then around lunchtime, my youngest just started getting like really like, like irritated. And she was just like, just really kind of like list list and stuff. And we thought, oh, shit.

You know, she's had like a virus or whatever. Like she's probably just not feeling too well. And then she started puking. And then she just wouldn't stop puking. And we're like, oh, my God. And she was going to listless and stuff. So we're like, fine. We're going to have to go to the out of hours GP and like, you know, just double check to make sure everything's okay.

So we get there and they're like, well, I've had to call the. pediatrician because I'm not happy with like a couple of things and it's just you know just it's more just to make sure that like there's nothing more sinister at play sort of thing but I think she'll be fine she probably won't need to stay over or anything but like you know you still have to go through like A&E and you know see the pediatrician who's pretty busy right now so we ended up we ended up in the hospital from probably about two o'clock in the afternoon Christmas day until like 10 o'clock at night it was a long one yeah it was really long Pretty much. Yeah, yeah. But it was like my daughter was still like quite sick when we were when we were like waiting to see the pediatrician. But then the pediatrician was like, right, well, we need to get like fluids into her because like I think she's got like a virus, but I think she's dehydrated as well. And because she's just she just doesn't drink like an awful lot of water or anything. Like we tried to, but she's just like, I don't want to.

What happened with your other kids? Who was looking after them? Oh, my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law were like, were with them. So they were just, I mean, they kind of knew what was going on, but like, not really. They were just watching Wallace and Gromit and stuff. But when we turned up at like 10, they were like, where the hell have you guys been? Like, we just missed the whole day. It was like, don't go to the kursled Zoonivise.

Do not go there, especially if you need to go to the bathroom. room, I would not go there. But, you know, she's fine now. It was all fine. She was, she was dehydrated. And I think she was just, like, turning for the worst because of that on top of having, like, a bit of a temperature and a virus and stuff. But they just kind of, they wanted to hook her up to IV, but she took, like, enough fluid while she was there. And they gave her, like, you know, those, it's like, it's like a rehydrating mix thing.

It comes in sachets. You put it in water. Yeah. I can't remember what it was called. She had a bunch of that. Yeah, she had a bunch of that and then she just like, you recommend it up. She was fine.

So, um, but yeah. Fibbo gel? I can't remember what it's called. No, no. It's like, um, fiber gel is what you have if you've got an upset stomach. It's like, there's a rehydrate. Dioral. Dioriloral.

Yeah. I always recommended that for hangout. I've got some of my bag. Yeah, it was me. Yeah. Basically she, it's like, it was like, it was like, fresh out of like a heavy drinking session, you know? It was that kind of.

kind of like being sick, you know. It was just like it was all... She just did the New Year's boil and stuff, you know. It was really gross. But Lewis, why do you have anti-hangover? I've never seen you drunk other than on a couple of jiggle jamshed street. I get hangovers very easily. And sometimes on the same evening, Germany and I'll be stuck.

I'll have a few drinks in the afternoon. And then like by 9 p.m. I'm like terribly hung over. Right. I don't know. I just don't, I just don't, I'm not a big. I'm not. It's always a gamble as well. Sometimes I can drink loads and I'm fine.

In other days, I just drink like a little bit and I'm fucked. I think drinking is just a bit like that. So the best night's drinking, you hit that sweet spot where you just feel like invincible to drink and you feel like, oh, there's no way I'm ever going to be hung over. Like, I feel too good and stuff. Those are like the best ones. But then obviously you feel like fucking hell the next day. Yeah.

It's worth it. I've tried to keep my intake fairly low. get a light buzz on and hold on to that light buzz. Yeah. And because I don't drink too too much, it's not too difficult to have that going. You just want to get buzzed enough so that you can get like a little bit nasty on the dance floor with the ladies. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Anyway. So I've been away on holiday for most of the time. I've been here. You're still there. I'm still on holiday. Yeah. When do you get back? You slacker.

Geez, you've been there forever. I've done a few different hotels and Airbnbs and stuff. Nice. Generally, you know, generally had nice time. I'm coming back like tomorrow, basically. Do you yearn for your own bed? Yeah. After a while, you're like, okay, this is inconvenient.

You know, I'm currently sat like on the floor in a hotel room. There's no like table or chair or desk or anything to put this laptop on. So I've got a laptop on the floor in front of me. I'm sat on the bed cushions. Yeah. I've just got this microphone precariously balanced. Yeah. I put the do not dis...

I don't know how you feel about the do not disturb etiquette for the door. But I've kind of changed it recently. I feel like every time... Which door? In a hotel room. Oh, yeah, yeah. You have the do not disturb sign. The moment I get it.

I check in. I go to my room. I put my bags and I take that sign. I put it on the door handle. It stays in. for the duration of the state. Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty much the same, actually. I don't want someone in my room.

No. So even then, I feel like people still come in. Like, I was literally taking a shit yesterday. And I'm like, hello, like someone comes into room. And I'm like, well, there's a do not disturb sign all the door. And I'm taking a shit. Like, this is the worst time for you to come in. Like, what more could I do?

Do you know, you should have just reversed it. You should have been like, come in. and then just let them see you shitting. Like, I mean, well, that's just, I mean, if you, if you covered all the bases, well, you know, what else can you do? There's no sense getting mad about it. Just go with the flow. When they open the door, when they open the door, be stood there in the little corridor. Can you pass me that newspaper, please?

Full goatsy, just full goatee, welcoming them in. Can you clean my bum for me as well? You can you plunge? Can you plunge? Can you plunge? Where's my bum cleaner? Just start clapping like that. That's definitely, I mean, yeah, I'm the same now where, but the thing is, like, a couple of things.

One, you see on, I tend to associate that do not disturb sign with either perverts, right? Yeah, someone's jacking off if there's a do not disturb sign. Yeah, exactly, right? Or having sex with someone. Yeah. I very rarely see do not disturb signs on the other door handles. I was like, I was one of the hotels was in, was right at the end. And I walked like the whole way down.

It was fucking huge, you know, it's astonishingly big how it just. goes on copy-pasted rooms and rooms and rooms and corridors. It is like some nightmare. But no one had their Do Not Disturb signs on the door. So I was like, am I weird by having it on all the time? And then the second thing is, I tend to see in TV shows. Either there's been, there's like, it's like a romantic comedy and like, you know, they, they, the last shot you see is the guy leaning around putting the do not disturb sign on the door

and then like closing it, you know, and then like it fades to the next day and they're waking up together or whatever. You know, it implies like, we're having sex, right? Or do you know what the Sturb sign is in CSI? That's the only other time I see it a lot where there's a hotel room that's, and they've got the sign on the door and the lobby people are talking. They're like, oh, we haven't heard from this guy in three days. And maybe it's just you, P. Flax, you know, and it's just, you know, like, select the cursle and cinema in there.

I'm not being funny, but at the Dota, at any Dota event where I go, and we're all staying, and the players are staying, or everybody has the Do Not Disturb sign out. Like every single one. Because we're all degenerate gamers. We don't want to be woken up before midday, if we can possibly help it. We're all staying up late playing games and just leave us the fuck alone. What I will do is once it starts getting a bit messy, like I tidy up after myself. Consider this.

I don't have a cleaner every single day when I'm at home. I don't change my towels every single day at home. I don't change my sheets every single day at home. No reasonable person does. It's a terrible waste of energy. I've had this ramp before on the podcast. I know it. if I've got someone coming to the hotel to clean my room,

once a week, I will take the sign off. If I'm busy that day, I'll be like, right, I'll go out early in the morning, I'll take the sign off, I'll tidy up the place, and then I'll come out, I'll come back, and it'll all be nice and clean. And then the sign's back on for another week. Like, that's it. I don't need you every fucking day. It's ridiculous.

Yeah, I don't need constant reminders. Like, I've had like two or three people come to the door, like thinking like I had ordered some room. I've never ordered room service to the room. I've never, pretty much, like, apart from when I was like, I never ordered room service to a room. Very rarely, very rarely. And the same thing with the minibar.

I don't ever take anything out the mini. I'm not buying. I'm not a mini bar. I'm not a mini bar. I'm not a mini bar. They've got rid of the mini bar in most hotels now. They still have a lot. They still have mini fridges.

They got rid of those a lot. There was a video about this guy, his entire job. I think this is for Hilton. Might be for Hilton hotels. Which is Hilton the one that comes with a copy of the Mormon fucking Book of Mormon in. Is that Hill? I don't know.

I think it's Hillman. So those hotels now, they pared back all of the things that you might consider like hotel luxuries. They've gone. Like they've tried to make everything as compact as possible, take out as much stuff as possible. And when they're designing the hotels now,

they don't want half the stuff that you consider standard hotel stuff. They do not want. So they don't want like a cupboard. You just have a rack there. I don't want to be a customer then. That sounds fine to me. Well, good luck.

But when that's all, there is, you're stuck. If you think about everything getting shittier and shrinking, the kids are always complaining about they'll buy a bag of sweets and there's like three M&Ms in the bottom of the bag. And it costs twice as much, like shrinkflation, right? It's the same with everything. I mean, think about airplanes. Airplane seats are getting tighter and tighter and smaller and smaller.

They're giving less and less for free. You go on them now, they don't always want to give you water for a short flight or even a meal. They'll be like, you've got to pay for it. It's only a two and a half hour flight for a, you know, it's like that. is constantly pairing back and pairing back and pairing back and paying back. And what can we charge you for? So do we actually want the mini fridge?

You've got to stock it. You've got to upkeep. Just get rid of it. It's not worth it. Get rid of this cupboard. Get rid of this space. Get rid of this. If they want an ironing board, they can come to the, we'll have a communal room with an ironing board.

If they want a hair dryer, they can ask a reception. All of this stuff is built around the idea of ripping as much stuff out of the room as possible to the point where eventually you will pay for one of those coffin rooms in a Chinese or Japanese hotel. Yeah, like a pod. That's it. That is the end goal of these hotels is that you go in and you just slide effortlessly into a tube and you stay in there for a week. They don't have to send a person in to clean it to just fill it with water once a day. If you're in there, tough shit, you knew what time it was getting filled with water.

It fills it with water and then they slosh the water around there to clean it. The water drains and that's your room for the next day. And all the money that they make, they make it impossible for a competition to ever set up because they already own all the buildings. If you open a hotel, they instantly. buy you and shut you down. Yeah, pretty much. That's true. But also, they pay everyone who works for them just a minimum,

yeah, one B, a single pen. And they give them government food stamps as part of their paycheck. You can be, and we all are obviously supporters of a capitalist system. And it worked really well for a long time. It was great for a lot of people, especially in the 1950s. It was in America. It was great. Yeah, yeah.

There's definitely a couple of decades there where it was pretty simple. That's fantastic. Here's the thing. And I would like to, I would like someone to challenge whether this is true, all right? The end goal of any capitalist society, and when I say the goal, I mean of all the companies and all the people working towards it, the absolute ultimate end goal, and we are approaching this is for one or two people to own everything. There is no competition.

Everything that they sell, you absolutely need to live. They can charge whatever they like. And they've automated the entire thing to such a point that a single person is needed to run the company. And all they do is come in the morning, push a button that says start business. And then at the end of the day, they push one that says stop business. And then they go home. They pay that person one P per year and no one else in the world has a job or a business. That is the ultimate goal.

I think even more ultimate than that is they want you to live almost like prison commissary style as well. Like you're on an oil rig, you know, you have, you get paid like corporate credits that you then spend within, you know, the corporate housing estate and like, you know, at the corporate grocery store. And it's all, it's all contained. And everything that you buy at the corporate grocery store is in those tiny packets that you can just last you enough for one day. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So you just have this like completely, completely miserable streamlined existence. where you can just about afford like one packet of gum a day and that'll see you through

while you work like a 12-hour shift and you don't really get paid for it because you have to live on site and you have to eat on site and all of your friends live on site and it's just that's what they want. Live in the dream. That's what they would love to get it to. That's like the corporate like ethno-states that they're always talking about, right? But consider the fact that increasingly these companies have so much much money. that they have run out of shit to buy.

So now they're just buying land and everything. And building data centers. Yeah. Buying all of this shit so that eventually no one's, like the average person isn't going to have any chance of owning anything. No. It's all going to be leased. It's all going to be rented. Down to every single thing in your house is going to be impossible to purchase.

Yeah. They all want you on an ongoing cost. Yeah. They want you stuck in like a service loop with them forever. And then you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're They're basically, I mean, like, already there's like wage slavery, but that is just a return of slavery, basically, right? They just own the people that work for them.

You're an indentured servants. They own all the business. They own all the land. They own all the assets that could be owned. And that's it. You guys heard of J.R. Simplot? No. There's no reason for you to have heard of J.L. Simplot.

He was a, he's a potato farmer. I think he's probably dead now. supplied potatoes to McDonald's, that all the potatoes basically came from J.R. Simplot back in the day, right? Maybe they still do. He started off with the classic like acre and a mule. He just had like, bought a mule, bought a bit of land, started growing potatoes, started selling potatoes, grew from there into this powerhouse of potatoes and got this deal with McDonald's, which obviously made him a fortune because they all want uniformity. If they have one particular potato, they know that every McDonald's in America, the potatoes are going to be the same.

And therefore all the fries are going to be the same and you can do everything exactly the same cook times, oil, temperature, everything and it'll be exactly the same because the potato is the same. So if you get that deal with McDonald's, you make a fortune. Now, he started off with nothing and worked his way up and you'd think,

wow, that's exactly it. Why don't people do that? He had an acre of land and a mule. That's not nothing. He didn't have minus 50,000. No, no. These days. He didn't have minus 50,000 pounds of student debt

and like, you know, a car repayment. He didn't go to university, Lewis. He didn't have the debt because he was a, he learned the He had the university. You know how much that is? That is nothing. How much does it cost for an acre of land? A terrible land.

That's the point. He bought it back when there was fucking land ever to America, dude. It's huge. He probably bought it. You could buy an acre of land and an old busted out meal. He probably bought it while supporting a family of 10 in a house with like 20 bedrooms. And he probably worked as like a, a gas station attendant

at the time. Yeah. You could buy land for nothing. The dude was born in 1909. Yeah. That's the point is you could buy land for like 2P back then. He dropped out in the 8th grade.

Eight. So he didn't have his student debt because he was just a guy who fucking just decided to become a farmer. Fair enough. I feel like though, like, that is such a success story for this podcast as well, for everybody

listening. Be more like. What if you pull yourselves up by the bootstraps, you lazy bums, get out there. That is what the American dream was supposed to be. All right, so here's what happened, 1923, age 14, he started working on a farm. He developed a low-cost method for feeding hogs when the market fell, feeding them wild horse meat and potatoes. Right. And when the market recovered.

Yeah, meat. Yeah. When the market recovered, he just sold the hogs at a profit and called. into potato and vegetable processing. He just went out and found wild horses, as you do. Found. Shot. He shot wild horses to feed his hogs.

To feed his hogs. So that's the thing is people see that as a success story. We'll be allowed to do that these days, would you? No, exactly. Someone probably owns those horses. He probably owns that land. Yeah, yeah. That's my point is this idea.

You could just get out there and buy land and shoot horses. There's no more wild horses. Someone shot my precious horse. Not Nellie. Please tell me Nellie's all right. I bought her ain't care of land with old horses. It was horses meat. It was a different time.

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this new year with Shopify by your side. On with the show. Oh, Stranger Things Five was a disaster apparently, Lewis. Did you watch it? I haven't watched Stranger Things Five, but I did hear that it was, I think the Guardian did a review that said it lost itself and went up its own ass or something in sci-fi. My youngest watched it and said it was a load of wank. She didn't use those terms. Stranger Things Five. Aren't all the actors that are meant to be children in that, like 40 years old now?

Yeah, they're in their days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, so that's a big problem with these things. But also the big, the other classic big problem is they write this wanky TV show with no idea. about the end is another classic TV show where they've written these mysteries that don't have a solution. It's like, oh, why is this person abducted children? We don't know. And we're not going to be able to address to the final.

Lost suffered from that. It was just mystery after mystery, but it's just like, you never even solved the first one. Or the solution of the first one was just so unsatisfying that you just kind of turned off all the next ones. It's like, imagine if you were writing a murder mystery, right? Right? And at the start of it, you had no idea who'd done the crime. It was so it was an impossible crime. No one could have done it. And then you just ended the murder mystery with like, oh, well, we don't know. Yeah, that's what they did with who killed Mr. Burns, but it was sensational at the time.

If you fucking imagine. Yeah. Well, they did solve it. It was Maggie. Yeah, they only solved it when it came back the following season. Remember? It left, that was the season ender. And it was a cliffhanger. It was a big who done it. Yeah, but that's a cliffhanger. And there was about 30 people that could have possibly done. done it. And then the first episode of the next season, they revealed. But I think they'd written all of the eventualities as well and then settled on on magnitude. Indeed. I get the impression,

though, that Game of Thrones and Lost sort of had a more high trajectory of failure. Like, it was obvious in that final season that they had no idea where they were going. Whereas in this one, I think there's been moments as I've seen the episodes come out, people saying things like, these two characters are just having a podcast while also running away from a psychotic, you know, deep Cthulhu beast thing. You know, they're just having the chance to have this deep moment where they reveal that they're gay or whatever. The Game of Thrones books kind of sprawled on a bit too, because I remember there being lots of like little interesting storylines that just never really went anywhere or you felt like they were going to,

they were going to link up into like a bigger storyline later. But then they're just, like, so many half-baked ideas that just never. This is it. Never fully finished. It does sometimes become a, the author is like, oh, wouldn't be really cool if this happened to this person, this happened to this person. And everyone's like, yeah, it would. And that's great.

And then, but where does that go? How does that get resolved? Yeah. And I think George Oro Martin's always like, well, you know, the history is just shit anyway. So might as well be a shit story Because it's realistic It's like well yeah That's so

But that's not really the point of a story The story is that You know you have a The whole point of you building up This identity of this character Is to inform the audience As to why they Why this event happened

You know Rather than them just dying You know If you just build up all this character's backstory And we learn every single thing about this character And then they just die for no reason Like Yeah

What's the fucking point of that Yeah, I feel like one thing you might want, maybe avoid is when people read your stuff and they get to the end is that they don't feel like they've just wasted time reading something that's not ended in any kind of like meaningful way or whatever, you know, or just left like open ended. I mean, some things are left open ended and but it's fine, you know, like you can kind of, you know, you can kind of like choose your own ending if you like sort of thing. But then some stuff you feel like I need like some sort of closure to a lot of these things, but I haven't gotten it. And it just leaves like a bit of a sour taste in your mouth, I guess. Yeah, it really does. And I just think that like, you know, that's just the nature of these things, isn't it? I think, again, with stranger things, the pressure is on, right?

To like finish it before they all, you know, get old enough that they're all pregnant with kids or whatever. Or they're all like losing their hair. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, obviously, they've all embarked on their own solo careers in a major way. You know, Millie Bobby Brown is so much more than Stranger Things, you know. The dirty of the better. That's my favorite Millie Bobby Brown.

What has Billy Bobby Brown been in other than Stranger Things? I don't know. Every tabloid magazine for the past five years. I don't know if that's like a sustainable or, you know. Millie Bobby Brown. I thought she was in like something else. She was in the electric state, which was not a very good movie at all. But she got paid a lot for it.

She did. She was in Godzilla versus King Kong, which was not a very good movie at all. She was in Godzilla King of the Monsters. I reiterate, it was not a very good movie at all. I haven't seen Damsel, but I've never heard of it either. What about Finn Wolfhard? What's he been in? What's he been up to?

No, he was in the new Ghostbuster movies. She really hasn't been in much. Minnie Bobbie Brown has not been in much. She's in something called Inola Holmes 3. Oh, yeah, they've been big. I haven't heard of those. And just picture it, which is a romantic comedy directed by Lee Toland Krieger, who I don't know, starring people I don't know.

I'm getting at that point where I don't recognize any of these people. It almost makes you realize that actually doing like the three episodes of Lord of the Rings or even the seven or eight films of the Harry Potter series. They did really well to keep them, you know, in going, you know, even though some of the actors, you know, like Dumbledore got replaced, didn't he? He died. He died, yeah. That's going to happen, right?

But realistically, just think how hard it is to keep getting back the same actors in that franchise every year with all the contract negotiations and all that shit. Well, yeah. Yeah, it must be tricky. So they had three years to write this series of Stranger Things. And according to my youngest, people, feel free to email in if you disagree with her take. She said it felt really badly put together. So the dialogue was awful. And I don't want to spoil anything.

but she said the ending was extremely soggy and just nothing. It was like none of it made sense. Plot holes up the ass. Again, these are all my words. I'm paraphrasing. She didn't put it this way at all. But she was very, very bitterly disappointed because she was a huge Stranger Things fan. And I met Joe Quinn, who played one of the characters in the show a few years ago.

And getting a picture of me with him made her year. That's how big a fan she was. She wasn't even in the picture. and it was like her favorite picture. And I was like, I'd never seen the show really past a couple of episodes of season one. So I didn't even know who Joe Quinn was. She was, she could not believe it

that I'd met Joe Quinn. She was like, oh my God, he's like the best guy ever. She was such a big fan. So this was her Game of Thrones moment. This was her devastating final series. It is a good show. I mean, I haven't watched the final series yet. I'm sure I was, but like Game of Thrones.

Doesn't it ruin it for you knowing that you're going to set off on watching this show? show and then the ending is terrible? I don't think it's like terrible. I think it's just not as good as it could have been. Wait, are you talking Game of Thrones or are you talking stranger things? Stranger things. I think it's disappointment like from...

Yeah, but that in itself. It's only five fucking seasons. This was a huge show. You had so much time and money. All these talented people. Write a decent script. I was going to say I didn't watch the final season of House of Cards, but I watched all the rest and I really enjoyed all the rest.

But the final season was apparently... Wait, wait, wait. terrible. House of Cards or Game of Thrones? House of Cards, I'm talking about now. Oh, right. When they replaced Kevin Spacey. Talking about shows that ended badly.

It was a great show. The Witcher since they changed out from Henry Cavill to someone. I didn't even realize that they had changed out. I only watched the first season of The Witcher, which I enjoyed. I thought it was great with Henry Cavill, you know. I thought it was good, too. And I just couldn't bring myself to watch it. I was so disappointed that they just like, you know,

fucking hard replaced. Doesn't he think he's going to make a Warhammer movie or something? Isn't that the thing? Because he's big into Warhammer. Apparently he's pushing for a Warhammer movie. Good on him. Yeah. Warhammer have been terrible at generally producing any kind of decent content

with their massively successful huge mega IP. I mean, consider how much Warhammer video games there is, right? And obviously, yeah, sure. It is a game, you know, at least a war game. And it fits that universe. You know, name a Warhammer character. I think you'd struggle maybe Sips to name like... Yeah, I have no idea.

I don't know. I'm not into it at all. I know the space marines are pretty iconic looking. Something, uh, oh, Arno Land. There you go. The creator of the Land Raider. Exactly. And Jimmy Space.

Yes. Yeah, there's a few. But I guess they're not, given how massive and mega games workshop and that IP is. You know, it is shocking that there isn't a TV show. around it, you know? There probably will be one though, because Fallout's been pretty successful. I think there's been a lot of fan animations of fan projects. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But consider this, the crossover, like I feel like the crossover, culturally speaking, what we considered nerd-specific culture, like comics, games, nerdy shit like aliens and stuff like that, fantasy, any kind of fantasy, was way, way, way off the menu for the average viewer. Like, people nowadays will happily watch something that was based on a video game or a comic book. Well, yeah, because there's been successes in it now. You've got Super Mario, you've got Minecraft. Of course.

You've had-there's always going to be successes. You've had Last of Us. Like, yeah, there always will be, but there's been so many recently that now there's going to be a big, they're just going to be scouring every possible game. There'll be like a Call of Duty movie. There'll be every big IP that they can get. And then when they can't get those, they'll go down a tier and down a tier and down a tier and then there will be a bad rat's movie. We'll have Colin McCrae's rally.

The whole thing will will explode when there is a power wash simulator the game. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. You'll have all of those and then it'll be, it'll bottom out. It's like when the Playmobile movie came out. It's like the Lego movies did super well and Playmobile are like, yes, here we go. And then it's fucking bombed because it sucked.

I mean, I would watch a Sylvania Families movie and now there hasn't been a Lego movie in like years and I think it's because they just absolutely saturated and tired out the market. As is their want. But I predicted this a few years ago on this very podcast, I said that now that they're done with superheroes, the superhero thing is starting to fall off

and the Super Mario Brothers movie was coming out. I was like, this is it now. You've got Sonic, Pikachu and Super Mario Brothers are all coming movies. It's going to be fucking every single. game you can think of it is going to be a fucking movie of it, it's going to burn people out. Well, Mike Ruff was the biggest movie of last year in the UK. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. It was actually good too. I liked it. There's no consistent storyline between games. So consider Marvel. You've got all of these titles and all of these stories and all of this potential. And an Iron Man can pop up in your Spider-Man movie. Yeah.

And so-and-so can pop up in this movie. You can't have a Super Mario Brither movie where the lad from Halo pops up because it wouldn't make any fucking sense. I mean, you could, but it wouldn't make sense. I've never been massively into comics or comic book characters or anything. And I think I, like, immediately was fatigued by superhero movies before, like, even tons of them came out. I think I saw the first Spider-Man. I was like, okay, cool.

That's fine. But, man, there's been so fucking many. Like, it's insane. I know they make a lot of money and stuff, but, like, oh, my God. Like, it's just, it's insane how many. there have been. I mean, great if you're a fan and you love that stuff. But for people, for people who aren't, it's, it's exhausting. Even just trying to keep track of how many came out. Same with like the big, you know, like the gigantic jizz of Star Wars stuff when Disney bought it.

And it was just like three, a new trilogy. There's a new movie every two years. There's this. There's that. There's 20 series. It's like, I like Star Wars, but man, I cannot keep up with all this stuff. Like there's way too much and filtering through the good and the bad you know because like at that volume a lot of it is just going to be kind of bad or mediocre so it's trying to find right you know the stuff that's worth

spending your time on apparently that's Andor which I haven't seen because again I've just got Star Wars fatigue now there's just too fucking much stuff I get it I get it but And those just don't watch the average shit I know it's like again though it's trying to

sit through it that is it's like you you really need to just watch the top of the line stuff. I watched Wednesday, and I thought it was great. I really enjoyed it. I didn't expect to enjoy it. No. But I really, really enjoyed it.

And it was not something I would have ordinary watched, but I sort of had to force myself to watch it just because of how massively sort of famous it is. But I was laughing a lot. Like, you know, there's a lot of references to the old Adam's family in there and stuff. And like, you know, it's, I don't know. I love those. It was a kid.

And I love the, yeah, the black and white TV show. to watch, it used to be in like, you know, mass syndication when I was a kid, used to watch it all the time. But the movies, when they came out in the 90s, they were pretty big. Adam's family values. Yeah, it was great. They were good. I remember that. Well, I've been, I've been, um, random crap while I've been here on holiday. Um, I've been going to, I'm in grand canary. I've been trying to like, yeah. I've been unbelievable. I know. Get out of Spanish passport now? You've been there for so long.

I feel like I should have. I haven't had to speak a word of Spanish. He doesn't even love England. It says at the moment, it says on my laptop that it's two degrees C currently. What? And raining in Britain. Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Whereas I'm looking outside and it's like, Oh, I see. I know where this is going. You're going to become a weather bore. You live abroad. You're going to tell us back home how good the weather is and therefore how much better it is,

and how superior you are. It's like that. It's like that. from National Lampoon's Christmas vacation when he's looking out the window of his kitchen and it's like he's got his pool and it's summer and there's women in bikinis jumping into his pool and everything. Is that what it's like? My mood is directly correlated with how comfortable I am. And if I'm cold and wet and it's dark, I'm not really very comfortable. If I'm sat outside in a nice fresh air, like, you know,

with a fucking pina colada, you know, I'm feeling. I've been trying to do exercise, right? And there's like a beach nearby, and I walk up and down. And the first time I walked along it, I realized, like, suddenly I was surrounded by lots of naked people. And I was like, oh, hell, yeah. What, totally naked? Totally naked, but all men. Oh, hell, no.

Oh, you're on the gay part of Grand Canaria. So there's this big nudist, there's this big nudist beach in the middle of Maspelomas in the, near the Junes. And I looked up, I was, I was like, it's only men. And there's like, I noticed there were a couple of like gay pride flags and stuff everywhere. But I thought, I thought I was, there's a lot of them and good for them. It's like just far enough away that it's a bit of a walk. You know, it's like half an hour's walk along the beach. I mean, in either direction from either of the two sorts of around town. I feel like the name Mass Balomas would be such a good beach name for a all-female nude beach, you know. Look at the Mass Baromas. Yeah, look at the

Palomas on that one. Yeah, exactly. Hubba. Hubba. Hubba. Hubba. I don't know whether I've ever heard of that. They are very lucky in a sense that, you know.

I mean, if you're gay, you're lucky. Absolutely. But I realize that beach, okay, everyone's surrounded by people who are attracted to the same sex, obviously. And imagine it was if it's like a hetero nude beach, okay? And you're a heterosexual person. Like every other nude beach, yeah. Yeah. half the people you're looking at, you're not attracted to.

I'm not saying that every man is attracted to every man's, every other man. You know, that's not how it works. I know that's in the same way that I'm not attracted to. But there's potential there. But the thing is there's potential there. There's definitely a sexual element. What you're saying is to being on a gay beach as a gay dude, you've got 100% potential hit rate.

Yeah, it's a higher potential hit rate. The upside, the potential hit rate is potentially 100%. Straight dude, the best you're going to get, It's probably 50-50. Is what you're saying? Yeah. Exactly, mate. I'm saying it's, but also it's a very kind of, it's a very gay thing.

I'd be like Moses on a nude beach. I'd walk down and it would just part. It would make a grand corridor for me to just stroll down. I'd say, I'll have an opposite effect on the opposite sex. You'll see me coming. They flee. Even the ocean parts and all the fish get the fuck out of the way. Everybody wants to get out of my damn way.

I'm nude. Where are all the birds flying to? Is there a tsunami coming? Oh, no way. Sips is wearing so many clothes that it's dazzling all of us. But I was just thinking you don't see a lesbian beach, you know, necessarily. Maybe I don't. Maybe I just haven't found them in my travels.

Maybe they exist out there. And God bless you, keeping them secret. I think they have to keep them secret and safe because I think they would get, you know, I think you'd have near Dewar Wells turning up. But you'd stand out if you were a man there, right? You would stand out. You know, they'd shove you, they'd get their brooms and shuffle you out there and no, like, Pronto, you know? I think they would.

You've got to show your qualifications to get in. Maybe it's like a more gated situation. Like a wolf in a hen house. But it comes back to the whole, a lot of men just, just getting there getting the sun on their dick. Yeah, why not? You got to tan that shaft every once in a while. I mean, it's, how often has your, has your dick seen direct sunlight? We talked about this very recent.

Are they flipping it every now and then like a sausage on the barbecue? I think the best my dick will do is like a shaft, like a ray of sunlight coming through the blinds of my bathroom window. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Or if I'm lying in bed, nude. Somehow, yeah. That doesn't happen to me very often. Maybe the sun will grace it.

But it feels like a little mole that lives in my trousers essentially what it is at this point. It doesn't come up for sunlight. Like a little shrew like a shoo like a shoo like a shoo. Like a door mouse. Like a dormouse. Like from a children's book. You know? And a dormouse is caught.

That's me. Yeah. No, I see. I feel that. I feel that. Yeah. Adorable in its way. Yeah.

And harvest. And need some sun. Some water. Just needs some. I'd like an Attenborough over the top. Here we see the rarely seen flax pee-pkeing its little head out of its trousers. He's got a new series about what. wildlife in London, you might be on there.

Has he actually? Yeah. Oh, and it's gone back in. Yeah. And it has your chinted for the year. Flax has got his flasher coat on. He's just like prowling around on the screen. I love to see David Ambrough do a nightlife in London documentary.

Him hitting all the clubs, all the pubs. That'd be fun. Oh, man. Just him getting progressively more and more hammered as he goes around London. That would be so funny. some homeless person that's passed out that Amber's sick on him, gets in a fight. Brilliant. What documentary.

The ubiquitous Ibitha final boss here he is with his big sunglasses and gold chain. As you can see, he's groomed his goate into a... and trimmed his bowled haircut into a shape that he thinks will attract all of the ladies

who are at the nightclub. Little does he realize. That people. are taking pictures of him and laughing in their bedrooms. This is so personal. Men were much less successful with the ladies than him. I'm mocking. Who is this bowl haircut having it beat the gods?

Google I beat the final boss. He went viral this year. He's like a specific looking guy. Yeah. Very strange looking guy. Oh yeah. I've seen this guy in memes. Yeah.

Look at this guy. This can't be a real person. Honestly, it's quite a... That haircut is unbelievable. Paced it in general. He looks like a school bully. Just Google I beat a final boss. I'm not linking to you.

I don't want to sully my history or... I don't want to gum up my algorithm. Wait, wait, here we go. I'll post an image in games. Not in general. Let's see if this works. This is the guy. Oh my God, man.

It looks a bit like... It looks like a video game rendition of Wayne Ridd. Rooney. Like, it looks like Wayne Rooney in Call of Duty. Yeah, like, this is Wayne Rudy's Fortnite skin. It does. Yeah, that looks like Wayne Rooney's, Wayne Rooney's, like, Fortnite skin. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. I played, oh, I think I told you guys I played Fortnite with the Kim Kardashian skins and stuff. Yeah, it's like a fucking, it's just a bizarre game now. It's just a bizarre

game now. It's just nuts. Yeah. We just, this guy is going to make a fortune. You think? Yeah, this guy is going to make a fortune. I think you're probably right now. Do you guys have any New Year's resolutions? Is there anything you want to change going into this year and like, it's there anything you want to do differently? Do you want to get into the club?

Do you want to go to the gym? Do you want to go vegan? Do you want to like? Not at the moment. But later on in the year, if I decide to do it, I'll do it in. Fuck your fucking veganism. Fuck off. Stop trying to push it in 2026.

I'm just saying that... 2026 is the year of meat. I'm saying it right now. It's coming back in a big way. Oh, my God. I don't think it ever left Flacks. I think it's... The year of meat has been every year since the...

Since the moment we first... Can't eat anything. I was eating the flesh of a wild horse I'd illegitimately shot the other day. Someone told me it's still dead. He can't get any other than these days. This is the hog talking. This is the farmer's hog. POV.

Starts... We might get... I have my potatoes and wild horse flesh. Oh, fucking wokeies, they won't fucking let me have anything, fucking lips. That just screams to me like, I saved money by killing something on the neighboring bit of land. No, he literally shot wild animal.

He saved money on feed by killing things. Yeah, by getting trashed from the local neighborhood. I fed my wild hogs some microplastics from the local river. And they were fucking, look at the river. No, I love her. He just weeps in a fucking... They were fucking really okay, actually, fuck for fuck's sake. A diet of forever cannibicles and micropluses.

The fucking A, dude. That's the equivalent of to that. What is... What, serious. So, so you're going to cut back on drinking, bullshit. Drink in? Oh, man. Well, I do it to yourself.

Just enjoy. Just enjoy yourself. I'm going to put some weight on. Shut up, subconscious. Oh, God. I feel like, yeah, I feel like it's every year is the same thing. I'm going to do this. Not you, Flax, specifically, but like everybody.

I get you. It's to say, I'm going to do this. And they do it for a couple of weeks and they're just back to normal. Like, why bother? Don't even. I did start for you really well. So this year I said I was going to, I was going to look after myself better because I, do remember at the start of last year, I had a lot of anxiety and I needed some work done

on my teeth and stuff. And I did do all that. Like, I did start to look after myself a bit better. Lasted about half the year. All right. And then I just started to run out of steam. Yeah. And then it just started to, you know, everything kind of wound down from there.

But, I know, December was a fucking right off. I was a mess in December. I ate and drank like an absolute pick. Are you still on the Hew? And what about golfing? Are you still golfing? Too hard. I quit.

I just quit. Yeah. I was going to do a stream with Dav at Jingle Jam where I was going to come. We were going to go play golf on a public course. Joe Hickson was going to film it. And we were just going to live stream us just literally smashing some balls around this public golf course and getting pissed as we did it.

But we figured we'll do that in Camp Yog instead. That would be much more fun because it would be fucking summer instead of going to play golf in Bristol in December, which is miserable at the best of times. But yeah, so we're going to do it in the summer. Nice. That sounds great. That sounds great.

Oh, well, I'm obviously getting my house next week. Yeah. Next week. You're not even in the country at the moment. Yeah, that's bold. That's crazy. I would have needed a couple of months at home just to like sort of get my affairs in order, you know. Getting ready to move, booking shit, all of this.

And this lad's on fucking holiday. Got his feet up on the beach while this hot property deal goes. You got the flat for an extra couple of weeks. You're like a tycoon. Nay, magnate. Have you started packing? Well, a little bit. Again, I've got a couple of extra weeks.

on the, I don't have to move in on the day, I get the house. Oh, okay, okay. You have a lot of, I don't want to, I don't want to, like, expose you here, but the last time I was at your house, you had a lot of Lego. How are you going to pack all that up? Basel to shove it. You have to take it all apart first? You can wrap it in cling film.

Right. Oh, you're going to wrap it all up. Oh, fair enough. Wrapped up most of it, honestly. Just one layer of cling film, stick it in a box, hope for the best. It's Lego. You can put it back together at the other end. It's not like fucking China.

And the other thing I was thinking about, um, your vans. Dildo collection as well. How are you going to transport that to your new house? Just click cling film again. Right, right. I haven't even washed any of them. Some of them are just going in there all lubed up still. I like the smell. Yeah, yeah, no, I want to keep that. Yeah, no. That's one thing that hits you. The first thing you enter your apartment is that, that smell. The smell. Oh, it smells like the fucking tersal sin maria. It's like the fucking dildos in here. Jesus. Jesus. So, no, I'm, I'm dreading it, obviously. But also, um, that's going to

Moving house is probably the most stressful thing that you can do. Yeah, they do say the second. Moving into a house that you've just bought especially is quite quite stressful because... I think getting divorced is probably the most stressful thing you can do. I'll be real. Or dying. Well, that's it. My partner is...

Well, if you're... During the course of dying, it's probably stressful. But when you're dead, obviously, like, you're done. So like, you get the release, you know? You're bleeding out on the battlefield. I don't reckon you're thinking this definitely beats moving house. I think adrenaline takes over a little bit there as well, you know. I think that that moment in time you're thinking,

shit, shit, shit, you're not thinking about like, oh, fuck, did I pay my last, did I cover the lease break? Did I get the boiler check? Exactly. It's not like a creeping existential worry in the back of your mind. It's more of a like, oh, like, it's a different kind of anxiety, I think. It's still stress. Anyway, my partner has had a relative die.

Oh, no. They are flying out to L.A. to go to their funeral. And they're flying out, I think, for three days. My joke was poorly timed. I apologize. And they've never been on a transatlantic flight before. Right. Wow.

And in fact, never met the person they're going to see in this funeral. Right. Well, the one thing I will see is. is this time of year, actually for air travel is pretty good. You'll probably get a whole row of seats to yourself. It is very cheap. And I think, yeah, they're going out for, I think they go out on the day I get the house, which is hilarious.

And then they're going to be back like a week later. And so I'm going to have to. But they're almost like, it's like they've done it deliberately to avoid helping. Yeah, yeah. You'll have the whole place set up when they. Because I hate helping. someone else move. It's a ballache.

Do you mean? I don't want to be dealing with that. It's awful. I would never do it. No offense to anyone I know, but I would never help you move. I'm sorry. It's ridiculous. And if anyone offers to help you move, they don't mean it. No, I don't want you going through my shit either.

Get the fuck out of you. They don't mean it. Like, they don't really want to. If you say, oh, yeah, please actually come and help me, they'll be like, oh, fuck. That was a big Seinfeld thing. It's just one of those polite things. I think a lot of people do this stuff. Oh, you know who did?

You remember that was fucking Keith Hanan. He says to get, Jerry agrees to help him move, and it's like a sectional couch, and he's listing all the horrible things that are going to have to lift up and down the stairs of the apartment. That's a classic episode. Or you turn up at someone's house to help them move, and they haven't packed anything. It's just like a messy house, and you're like, what the fuck? Let's get these plates and bowls, and I need every cup. It all needs to be individually wrapped in newspaper.

I haven't got the newspaper. I'd like you to get the newspaper as well. And put it in boxes stacked in size order, please. If that's happening, I'm just turning around and driving back home. All the food in the fridge and the larder, individually wrapped. I'll be like, okay, cool. You can hire. You just bought a house, mate.

In 2026, you can afford to get someone to fucking do this for you. Goodbye. People do everything as well. You can get, moving companies will come in and literally they will box everything up for you, organize it, like. Do you reckon they'd pocket a few things as well? In my case, they'd be welcome to.

I'd be actually happy if they did. I have so much cram. save him higher in a skip. Oh no. Half my shit has gone missing. Oh, what will I do? Like I need to throw it all out anyway. Fucking hell we have so much stuff.

It's insane. It is insane. Like we went around to the house that we're buying to meet the owner and talk about things. You know, it's a few things to talk about. And they'd already thrown out a entire skip worth of stuff, not joking. And they had another skip half full. And we looked around the house and it was full of stuff. It was like, how do you accumulate so much?

Are they downsizing? Are they older and downsizing? Yeah, they are. They've got like a whole lifetime of stuff. We've been here for like 20 or years. And the amount of stuff that we've acquired in that time that if we move house, I'm just going to be like, just fucking bid it. Like so much stuff.

It's so hard. But it's just in your house. But you kind of make your life around all this crap. And it's only when you come to this big life audit. of having to actually move this stuff that you're like, we don't need half of the shit. But also,

like, it's full of stuff that you bought and then stopped using, you know, like they've got an old table tennis table and an old pram and an old, like,

half-sized snooker table and like, you know, so much stuff like piled next to one another in the garrets, you know, like you can't move for it. And it's,

and it's just too big to throw away or get rid of easily. Yeah. And maybe, but then again, these days, maybe you could put it up on Facebook marketplace and someone will pick it up for free.

You know, they got like an old piano. They were like, do you want a piano? I was like, not really. Like, you know, it's like, it's more hassle than it's worth to keep around. I tried to sell some fire doors not long ago because we got three extra fire doors. Like when we were getting our place renovated. And one of the builders is like, oh, they ordered the wrong doors. We have to order some other ones.

You're going to have these three extra. Like, why not list them on the local thing and try to sell them? you know, you probably could sell them for a bit. And I was like, oh, God, really? Like, I don't think anyone's going to buy those. It's like, no, no, you'd be surprised. So, you know, you'll probably get like some interest in them. So I was like, okay, fine.

So I listed them. Like, I didn't get a single email or call or anything. And we just ended up giving them away to somebody who also took a bunch of our other crap that we didn't want. Some people out there want more crap. It's unbelievable. I know. But I was happy for it. So, Daph, apparently you can pretty much,

if you put anything up on Facebook marketplace for zero pounds, someone will come by and just take it for free, right? And it will save you having to pay to get rid of it or hire a skip or anything. And so DAF does this quite often at the office. And the other day, I think that we had like 10 broken monitors or whatever. And, you know, we would normally just give them to the e-waste people. But, you know, Daph put them up on for like, you know, zero pound. And he was inundated with calls.

I bet. He had like 50 calls in two hours to come and pick up these old monitors. Yeah. Because someone wants them. So I don't know what they're going to do with them. Oh, yeah. But, you know, I mean, they must feed them to their hogs. Have a very low value.

But for the sake of having to drive a car around, take them all downstairs, put them in the back of the van, you know. Yeah, God, like it saves a lot of, it's worth, I don't know. It's a funny old thing. It's probably worth it. Some people can probably have the know-how to, like, you know, repair them or whatever, and then they can just sell them on, probably. Yeah, you hope so. And make a little bit of money.

Yeah, exactly. And that's what we want, right? Yeah. We want stuff to be less disposable. Yeah. More, you know, find a new life. I've changed my mind. I'm all for it.

Facebook marketplace. That's the place to go. That's the only thing I would consider using Facebook for in 2026. Because I haven't logged in since about 20-fucking 16 to Facebook. I mean, I just hear about it. I want to say one more thing because I know that we have to wrap up in two seconds. Yesterday I had some cabbage with my dinner and I just farted and all I could smell is cabbage. Okay.

That's great. Good, good stuff. Yeah. What else? What have I got to wrap up? Don't know. But I have to stop. We've been playing a lot of Zonboit, me and Sips. Yeah, I've been playing it.

Yeah, Flack's been playing it. It's, yeah, it's been fun. It's been good. Build 42, which is the one I'm playing on. Yeah. The latest build, the multiplayer is shit, which is the only reason I'm not doing any multiplayer. Yeah.

Because I played some of Bill 41 with my eldest. We played it because he's into, he's into Zomboid as well. Right. But it's like, I don't know what it is about it, but it is such a fun and satisfying game to play. It's so deep. I think it's the depth of the game.

Yeah. There's loads of little systems and stuff. To keep adding cool shit. But anyway, yeah, yeah. All right. Thank you, everyone. Yeah. That's your podcast.

Thank you so much. See you next time. Enjoy 2026. Yeah. And happy new year and Merry Christmas and all that. Yeah. See you next time. Peace.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye.