Triforce! - Cerevisia Hodie, Ius Cras | Triforce Mailbag #64

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 64! We're bringing back a load of old topics with some feedback mail and Sips has the AUDACITY to ask for FREE STUFF from a HARVEST FESTIVAL?! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Hello chums Hello chums, and welcome back to another mailbag special. It's the mail bag. I can't believe it's another mailbag special, wow. The mailbag here, once again, and I got a tune for you. This is from your boy, Rory. This is a good one.

Prepare yourselves for a work of art. Dot MP3 is the file name. It's 45 seconds long. It's worth it. Are you guys ready? We'll listen to this in three, two, one play. How it ever won? It's the mailback, of course.

Welcome back. I'm going to start in a second, okay? Let's begin. Settle down. Mailback time, and I'm feeling fine. today it's been quite sublime they're gonna read your letters hey I'm already feeling better got the bold one the Canadian and the Lebanese child don't worry no opinion around here's two miles and we're gonna deport them soon

ice is coming around this afternoon this is hey precisely my tempo time to stop now here we go now I love that one, so much. He couldn't play it straight. The ending is just such a cherry on top. That's so good. Oh, man. Thank you, Roy.

That's Roy, what a great. Third jingle, I'm going to say it, it's the best one yet. That's the best one yet. What a chuckle as well. Man, I needed that this morning. Thank you so much. Really good, really good. All right, let's get into it.

This is from Sam, a defense of Greggs from a Gregs manager. There I was, on my lunch break, having woken up at 4 a.m., happily listening to my favorite podcast as I munch on my sausage roll and pulled pork burger combo. Yes, we do those now. At 4 a.m? Yeah, dude, he's going to fucking get up and manage the Griggs. Anyway, he's a manager. He says, pulled pork burger combo is not the best, so fair play.

Went to my surprise, Mr. Lewis Brindley, of the Yoxcast, as we all know, sought fit to slander my profession over the price of a vegan sausage roll. Well, I beseech thee, Lewis, and rebuke as thus. My Greggs in Essex shines as a beacon on the hill, serving the community from 6 a.m. until 8 p.m. every day without fail. Thousands each year flock to the temple of the sausage roll for a three-pound breakfast or a cheeky steak bake and leave with smiles on their faces. It is a community hub which people rely on for social engagement in their older age.

Life without Greggs for many would be hollow and meaningless. If you would like to know more about what it's like to manage a Gregs with a multi-million pound turnover each year, I'll be happy to reveal some of their secrets. Edward Snowden has nothing compared to what I have. Yours in lunch, Sam. Sam, do. Please let us know. And also, hey, we should get a great sponsorship up in here, Sam. Talk to head off this. Get them on the blow. Multi-million pound turnover per year. What are you doing? We talk about it all the time. You may think you're the heart of the community, but you're actually causing

You're a scourge. You're a sclerosis of people's hearts in your community. It's just a sausage roll. You're killing everyone. You're killing everyone with your fancy wares. It's just a sausage roll. What's wrong with that?

Nothing. You were the one having a poppet Greg's in a previous episode. You probably don't even remember it. Well, you know, it's very cheap. You're apparently complaining about the price. Your reason it's a multi-million pound. What do you mean?

The materials are very cheap. The stuff that is made of. But the pastry. Why do you think it's a multi-million fat turnover? Because it's the best. How about that? Are we not allowed to have a success anymore in this country? You're just running this country, dad.

What would you eat Britain, mate? That's true. What else we got? What do you eat Britain? What else do we have in that space? Spoons. Who's a competitor in that space? Spoons.

You got your greens? You got your spoons. What about some local places? There's got to be some local, it has to be owned by some... It's got to be owned by a big corporation and make a ton of money. Right. You've got Costa, which could kind of provide some of those...

Owned by Coca-Cola, apparently they bought it, right? I think they bought Costa coffee. Right. Starbucks. That's frightening. You had Starbucks. About someone who used to, I think, used to work at a Costa, and then they came back. It might have been a Reddit post, actually.

They worked at Costa, like, years ago, and they really loved it. Went off and did something else, came back, and now that Coca-Cola owns it. It's dog shit. And the prices are really high and everything. I'm pretty sure that's costing. Cafe Niro. What about Cafe Nero? I just think they're all wank, in all honesty.

I reckon that's like a nominative determinism. Where would you go to get a coffee? If you're out in about in London, you live in London. I'll answer that. What is nominitive determinism? Cafe Niro. But if you open a shop called Costa coffee, you're going to be a coffee shop. Is that what you're saying?

No, you're going to be bought by Coca-Cola. Oh, yeah. Costa coffee. Coca-Cola. I think it's a little bit of an idiotic management people think, oh, this is a good fit for us, and they're not quite sure why. And they're like, I can't tell why, but I think this is just a good fit for us. You don't know, they're a bit like Coca-Cola, you never hear about them.

But they're clearly still doing stuff behind the scenes. You never hear about them? No, you don't know. What is that? I don't ever hear, like, I don't even, like, I can't even remember the last time I saw a Coke advert. Like, like, I don't know what they're, what are they doing? making bank. Well, I know they are, but like, I think it's just, uh, they've just got the right to now. Like, like, I, they, they don't seem to try very hard anymore, you know, like,

I think they've just got so much money. They could just buy out all the competition immediately, um, and then just make even more money. But like, I, like, they don't seem to, I guess diet Coke still advertises quite a bit, doesn't it? I always think of Warren Buffett when I think of Coke, because he is one of these people who's like, everyone's always going to need Coke. Coca-Cola and hodge tomato ketchup Everyone's always going to eat those things And there's very like No Jolski on

Like the mouse full of fucking acorns or marbles voice That's great Role of fingers Mr. Senator if I may break in here By saying everybody's going to need coke Everybody's always going to need cock It's not going anywhere

It's not going anywhere And I say to the honourable gentleman From Essex South There's Coca-Cola or everybody needs a Coca-Cola. I'm not going anywhere, Mr. President. Warren Buffett, he's apparently all sat in cash at the moment. He's like waiting to announce on the market. He's got his multiple billions in shoeboxes underneath his bed.

He's just drinking Coca-Cola and drinking my money. Just bring me a Coca-Cola. Drink in the Coca-Cola. Chug-a-log, chug it down the Coca-Cola. And they sing my money. Yeah Yeah Says Lewis

Right that means next I think When you have an impossible amount of money Though it's so easy to make more money I don't even know why it's even fun anymore at that point Yeah Why he has an impossible amount of money Just at his

Beck and call Why doesn't anybody do an armed robbery They don't be like 400 billion or something It's insane If he's out there saying I only have cash now Fucking hell It can't be that hard to find that much

There's the money in my house. He's got a couple of 18-wheeler trucks outside his house, just full of money. Full of cash. Do you think he's like asking to be robbed just because he's run out of things to do? So he's just liquidating everything. That's how he gets off. And he's just like, yeah, I'm here at my address that you can see on the screen below, I have all my cash boxed up.

It's in trucks. They're fully filled right at all. Robbing me. I might be jerking off. The last great. Don't start. A nice great hurdle for a rich man is being broke, just being robbed blind. I've got nothing left.

Oh, yeah, I'm out of money. Oh, yeah. That's how Warren gets up. He did a $1.3 billion investment between 1998 and 1994, right? And it's now worth over $27 billion or whatever. But he's on a yearly basis, it's yielded 63%. What over 40 years? And the thing is, this guy, he's.

I think he just had a normal life up until he was about in his 60s and then all of a sudden made a shit ton of money. Like, I don't think he's... He ran a big, big Chinese buffet. I don't think he was always... I think he was like later in life very rich. Never heard of a buffet, Sips. Yeah, he invented the buffet, right?

Okay, yeah. He was resting on his buffet laurels. But where's Pizza Hut buffet now? I don't have access to one over here. I used to. Well, that's why he got a cut of that. He sold it off. Fuck.

Yeah. But he wanted them to be called Buffets. And then everybody started calling buffets Because they thought it sounded fancier That's why he got out of the Buffett business Who was the actor that played Dick Tracy In the movie Dick Tracy That was

I know exactly who that was I can tell you in one second Without Googling It was that guy He was a handsome guy Warren Beattie Warren Beattie Yeah

I always get Warren Beattie and Warren Buffett Mixed up Yeah I don't know why It's one of those things you know This is from Matthew, a Yorkshireman. I've got to read this one. He's very angry with me.

He said, if you read this out, please attempt it in your best Yorkshire accent. Let me take this polo minute out of my mouth. Hello, Louis Sips and that soft, boiled southern bastard Piri and so-called flax. Sean Bean didn't die 25 times for some southern shite to tell me how to drink my tea and what to dunk in it. Yorkshire tea need to take a leaf out of Yorkie's book from 2000s, only its slogan needs to be not for Southern Nancy's. It's our tea. We'll drink it how we want.

I'd suggest you stick to drinking Bournemouth tea. However, I can only assume that is a street name for heroin, judging from how Bournemouth is described. Hope you and your families are well. Your son, Sylvie, Matthew, are yoursmen. Thank you, Matthew. Angry, apparently, I said dunking biscuits in tea is shit. I think it's childish, and he's angry.

I think he speaks for all northerners there, which is fair enough. Oh, I loved it. More of that. Yeah, keep it coming. I get a lot of those just calling me names. But if it's funny, I think it's good. Just be funny. Don't just call me. Anything that gets periods to do an accent just tickles me.

Yes. I love it. He's so good. All right. Bless you. I mean, I'm here. It's like you're talking about it. Next my day.

You're talking about it like he's passed away. Fuck, I'm dead. He was such a fun guy when he was with us. God, he used to make me laugh a lot. God. God bless him. I think, I tell you what, though, I've got to admit, like, Those, I know, I know doing a Yorkshire accent, it's probably not going to be allowed much longer

because it'll be some sort of offensive stereotype throughout. All right, boy, C, K, calm down. It's one of the few we're allowed to do. Don't be like that. You get idiot. You're going to do Yorkshire accents these days. Thank you. This is a lad emailing in about attempting to thank people for their service.

Right. So I think we made fun of the American, well, thank you for service. Thank you for service. They'll just say to everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is from September. We were making fun of Americans saying thank you for your service to people in the military. You got me thinking how no one, and I mean no one, does it in Finland,

despite every able-bodied male and willing female, having to do conscription service. Very common Scandinavian thing. You get to a certain age, you have to do like a year or two's military service. No one thanks anyone for their service in Finland. It must be a cultural difference. Serving in the Defence Force is such a core part society. It's simply accepted without fanfare, although no less respect. If you'd like to know more about the Finnish conscription service, hit me up.

I think France has like a national service as well that you need to do. It's like a year or something. Or maybe they used to. But recently enough, I think they still had it. In Sweden? No, France. Sorry, France. Oh, France. Oh, sorry.

Yeah. Yeah. Some places have them. Some places don't. But, yeah, America's the only place I know of where you're thanked for your service. I think it's very performative. And I think it's a way of being like, some people started doing this thank you for your service thing. I think the reverence towards the military and law enforcement, which is a relatively new thing.

People didn't use to thank you for your service. I think it's a relatively new thing, probably because they had all these wars, Iraq, Afghanistan, a lot of young people going over there and flying too. I feel like if I was a veteran and I'd been to war and I'd come back and somebody was like tripping over themselves to thank you for my service, I would find that, I would feel mortified that somebody's on that. It's embarrassing. I think I would feel embarrassed.

I don't know if that's just because I've lived in the UK a long time. And people, there's like a lot more sort of like a reservedness to British people. Yeah, we all like that. But I would find I would be mortified by that. I would find it so utterly embarrassing if somebody did that. I think it's worth drawing a line here, though, under what is. First of all, you see this all the time in other countries too,

mostly with pro gamers going into military service in South Korea or something. You know, they disappear off the pro scene to do their voluntary, their natural service. And obviously, some countries have replaced it with other things. You can do things rather than serving in the army. But I think these are not kids being sent into a war zone who have chosen to do it. They are, that's very different to people who voluntarily sign up to the military and go and fight in Afghanistan or something and, you know, have their comrades die. You know, I think they are very different.

And I think also, you know, like you said before, it does seem like a new thing because certainly coming back from Vietnam, I know, you know, that was very iconic. You know, you've seen it so many times in movies. But, you know, people were so sick of that war and thought the war was awful that the soldiers were somehow, even though they were conscripted, but it wasn't a lot of their choice to go out there. You know, it was a lottery. They were just plucked off the street, basically, or got out of it by, you know, like Donald Trump. but I feel like people felt like the population felt like they were somehow complicit and I think they felt like

they're a shunned when they came back especially by everyone, by the government not giving them enough support for their injuries and you know, all these problems, right? And so I think there is this idea that it is a selfless act and I don't know, like these days I think it is more,

it makes sense to thank people for their service And I feel like if I met a British serviceman who had been fighting in exactly, you know, in these places, you know, if someone, it's as volunteer British soldiers fighting in Ukraine, you know, and dying. And I think I would be very tempted to say thank you for your service. But I think that would be, I wouldn't want to say that, those words particularly because it does feel almost like an American, you know, platitude. Like you said, P-Flex, like a performative act. like, you know... If you actually give a shit about veterans, start voting for people that give a shit about veterans.

So don't give a shit about... Stop voting for people that don't give a shit. Yeah. Because all of these people that come home suffer greatly and all the fucking money in the world is sucked out of veterans associations every year taking less and less and less and less. I think that the guys you're voting for

don't look after the fucking veterans that you're meant to thank for their service. as if, oh, thank you for your service there. I've done my bit now. No, you fucking haven't. Look after these people. They need a lot of help a lot of the time, and you're doing fuck all for them. So I'm saying, if you want to thank you for service, put your fucking money with your mouth there, you cunts.

Who are we? I don't even know how bad the situation is in the UK. I've got it with me, I don't know any servicemen, ex-serviceman or current servicemen in my circle. Also, first of all, America's military is huge. Second of all, a lot more people go into the military to get through. college. Because if you serve in the armed forces for, is it four, five years or whatever, you get a free college scholarship that's a military scholarship. So the military will then pay for your university education. But you have to put your life up for them for their use, first

of all. Do you essentially have to say, I will give my life for my country, potentially, and in doing so, I will then get free college. That's the devil's bargain that you have to Yeah. And I think sometimes you might be lucky and avoid being shipped off to a conflict. Most people are not front line. No, but I mean, but the thing is if you think about like in the past 25, 30, 40 years, there's there's been loads of conflicts that they have been shipped off to. Like it's hard to avoid. I mean, even even the Iraq war, there was still Americans there like this year. I think they, I think they, I think they. only they've only just started really, really pulling out of Iraq fully like last month. Like they've been there that whole time, not like tons of them, obviously. But like they do have like some bases that are that are still staffed. And they're still doing bits and pieces

over there. But that's crazy to think that you like, you know, in this day and age, you could enlist in in the in the army or whatever. And you could potentially be there. Like most people probably just thought, oh, yeah, when Bush did the mission accomplished thing, that was it. It was done. Everybody came home. But like, no, they were there. And same with Afghanistan. Like 20 years, man, they were there. Afghanistan was crazy. It's just it's insanity. The sickest thing about the whole thing is that these are such young people as well. You know, these are people that are so young sometimes that they, you know, they haven't even had a taste of being an adult yet. You know, that's the only people you can sucker in to do. Yeah. Well, they're so physical. They're so

able and everything. But it's so sad because, you know, once the death toll starts going up and you think these are, these are just young people that had everything in front of them and they're dead now. And a lot of the time, it's so fucking unnecessary. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's awful. So yeah, no, with some students. Thank you. Thank you for your service, Ukraine and soldiers. Thank you for your email. Thank you for your email. I'll say that much. Thank you for your email at your service. This is student housing horror stories. This is quite a good one. They're a construction manager for student housing. Whatever that does is large-scale renovations. Though it's an apartment block with 200 students and they do some kind of renovations within that. I don't know quite

what the job is. But here we go. The city council rang us up dead serious about a rash of disappearing geese from the pond outside one of our buildings. We went on a little investigation, door to door, neighbor to neighbor, until we landed at one student's flat. She opened the door, and And there they were, two live geese wandering around her bedroom like they owned the place. Upon further inspection, a shelf of carefully arranged goose skulls and a freezer full of goose meat. So this student had been getting the geese into her house, killing them and eating them. You know, goose meat, I guess is pretty delicious, but you can't just steal geese. That's not cool.

Here are some other ones, air-fried mice. A mouse, somehow got under an air-friar basket. It was under the basket. It was never cleaned. So this little tiny mouse was reheated in the air fryer many, many times before someone figured it out. A soup kettle, my old housemates, wants to use the electric kettle to make tomato soup. It's pretty terrible.

A student house once made an inside pool. They wanted their entire kitchen to be a pool and therefore sealed all the cracks. And when they filled it up, it took about five minutes before the electricity went out and all the kitchens beneath theirs was slowly turned into a waterfall. That is insane. The accidental hotbox, a student built a wall. weed farm in their room and hooked its ventilation into the building's main system. Next morning, a hundred people woke up wondering why they felt amazing.

And the mouse tea incident in one shared house, a mouse apparently drowned in the communal cattle because they filled it through the spout. No one saw it. Weeks later, 18 students were sharing unexplained stomach aches until someone finally peered inside. My God. Oh. That's horrendous.

That is a such a student house story, isn't it? Yeah. This is large-scale renovations. Does that, does he mean? Does that mean, like, rather than renovations, does that mean like building maintenance? This sounds like maintenance, not, like renovations to me as you go into a house that's abandoned and fix it up, either way, whatever. Great stories, great stories.

Wow. I mean, that is so typical, though, of the student lifestyle, right? The living in a massive shared house or shared thing or having a shared kitchen between 20 of you and a big kettle thing that no one actually ever cleans properly, they just fill it up from the spout, you know, it's just, you could totally see. how that could happen and that's that is ridiculous

that's the kind of things students would do as well the swimming pool in the kitchen like yeah I mean it's just

like oh this should be fine kids just they're just kids they are children these guys going to fight our wars

I mean that's the thing my eldest is going to be 16 17 in April send them send them off to send them off

right out you know what you want to make a pool you can make a fucking pool in Afghanistan mate get on the plane

we're shipping good luck with that mate mate this is a quick email from Ben, I thought you'd appreciate...

Checking they have like a Gregs on the military base over there. Yes, I've done the maths, and your total time in Dota 2 equates to one and a half years. Good God. Yeah. It's a lot. This is from Gabby. When I discovered oxygen not included, I made 100 hours in like a week. I was completely obsessed with the game, so obsessed that I forgot to water my bonsai and it died.

I felt really bad about it, but then I moved on and made another 200 hours in the game. Did you guys ever get so obsessed with the game that you did something you regret it? Oh, I think, look, we've all, and even today, sometimes a game will come out, and I'll be playing it, and I'll be doing stuff, and I will, like, not eat. I will, like, not, you know, I will need the loo, but I will not go until I'm really desperate. Do you know what I mean? Or I'll be up until, like, 4 a.m., and I won't realize, you know, even now, like, when I'm, I feel like I should be more grown up. My partner went away for a week, and I didn't order any of the plants. I just forgot. And she came back and she was like, why are all my plants so droopy? And I was like, I'm so sorry. I just didn't think to do it. I was just playing games.

Like all away doing stuff. You know, and so no, we absolutely do do these things. Oh, God. I mean, I just remember, I always remember when we were in our first Yog's office and the new Wow expansion came out and Duncan just stayed overnight playing in wow in the office like literally all night long in the office and I brought him like breakfast I brought him dinner would you bring him a little Greg sausage roll oh oh I love him again morning Duncan I see you've had a hard doing playing games I brought you a lovely sausage roll oh thank you

this I do love a sausage roll going online without express VPN is like walking your dog in public without a leash. Most of the time, you'll probably be fine. But what if one day your dog wanders a bit too far or chases a squirrel or gets dognapped? That's why everyone needs express VPN. Yes, every time you connect to an unencrypted network, your online data is not secure. Any hacker can gain access to and steal your personal data. It doesn't take much technical knowledge to do so, and your data is valuable.

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So this is about quantum entanglement and quantum... Good God, I'm going to get whiplash. We talked about it a couple of weeks ago. You were wrong. I had about 10 emails saying that I was right and you were wrong about quantum entanglement, although I still don't. Yes, apparently so. It's true. You were correct, period. And basically, the implication is that that doesn't happen very often. But on this occasion, I was correct. It's true that quantum antagonment does not involve a particle being in two places at once. What Lewis was

likely referring to was superposition, where a particle can be in two places at once, until a process known is decoherence, after which the wave function branches into separate worlds or collapses into a separate single world. This is what leads Schrodinger's cat to being both alive and dead at the same time. So I believe that the whole point is we can know the velocity of a particle or its position, but we can't know both, something like that. And up to the point where you specifically identify where something is, it exists in multiple places as a wave function. And then once you actually figure out where it is, that's it sort of fixed, de-coherence, that's its point and space. I think that the reason that that's something that we can talk about

is because of that very famous experiment, the double slit experiment, have you guys heard of this? I think it's pretty much, it's pretty much GCSE physics, isn't it? Okay, fair enough. This is a car wash disaster. This is from Sky. I thought I would share a story of my immense stupidity. I was listening to the podcast while driving home from work, and construction next door had gotten dust all over my car. I saw an automatic car wash on my way home, so I stopped in to get it cleaned.

After letting it run for a while, I noticed one of the cycles listed to the side of the machine said bottom blaster, Thinking this was hilarious, I picked up my phone to take a picture, or the water droplets on my window were messing with the focus. In a moment of unrivaled absent-mindedness, I rolled the window down slightly to get the picture. Within the next moment, I was pelted with what felt like a fire hose, shooting soapy water into my eyes and mouth. My phone flew out of my hand across the car,

and while I cried and attempted to rub the soap out of my eyes, it was like Lewis was right there next to me, screaming about a Star Trek board game, because he had the podcast. So there you go. I'm a big Uma Musumi fan, ask Sips, who is favorite, horses. I really liked, what was her name now? I haven't played it in a little while.

Maruzensky. I liked Maruzensky. Didn't she die? Marzensky. Didn't she get put down? No, that was a different horse. One of the horses died and had to be put down. I know.

Yes. Yeah, because they're based on real horses. Are you serious? I feel, I didn't realize, but it's really sad. That is tragic. Yeah, yeah. It was, like, on, on, on Reddit, there was like, they were like rest in peace. Yes. Rest in peace. My favorite horse. You were the best. God.

It was like a dead animal. You galloped like no other. I want to shower you in sugar lumps in heaven and ride you over fences and polish your hooves every single day. And take you to the horse dentist. Yeah. Gosh, it would have been something. Yeah, it was sad. It was sad. I can't remember the, the horse though. But. Yeah. Yeah. One of the. This fucking podcast is like brown. We are just flitting from back and forth from subject to subject. I can't tell people to email in about one thing. The giveaway that the horse was about to die was that it didn't shit for a while.

It wasn't unable to shit. That's something to pay attention to about your pets. You know, one time we were going through the car wash. It was me and Mrs. F and the kids, both kids were in the back. They were quite little at the time. And we didn't know that we'd left. One of the rear windows was open a little bit. And as soon as it started, water was just spraying in all over, my eldest, who

was screaming and everyone else was just laughing their heads off because all this soap and water was just shooting in. We thought it was very funny, but they did not. So, yeah, and every time we get through the car wash, the kid's like, do you remember that time? I was like, yeah, it wasn't funny. Anyway. Yeah, there's a lot of, every family's got stories like that, right, where everybody thinks

it's funny except for the one person who didn't find it funny. Of course. Still doesn't mind it funny 10 years later. It still doesn't find it funny, yes. Oh, man. I am so full of cold, by the way. Sorry. That's fine.

No, no, no. I'm sniffling a lot and I sound like. Snottie as well. Yeah. That's what happens. It's that time of year. It's going around. That's what they always say.

Yeah. The kids go back to school. Back to school. Weather change. And you're more indoors because the weather's changed. And so diseases spread around more. Yeah. And yeah, oh my God.

It's been going around. I was really, I was really snotty and gross last week. Everyone that I know was really sick last week. I managed to escape somehow, touchwood. This is from, actually, maybe I'm not going to read their name out because they haven't signed off. I hope this email finds you well. Thank you so much. I'd like to stay anonymous if that's right.

There you go. I knew something was up. I've been listening to the podcast for about a year now on my drive to and from work. I'm a 28-year-old facilities manager for one of the UK's largest charity organizations. Recently, I've been feeling a little Groundhog Day-esque, by which I feel stuck in a loop. Come home, eat food, go to bed, start it all over again. Not to say I'm unhappy. I have a family, roof over my head, stable job.

I feel like something is missing. I am a carpenter by hobby, so we do have things to break up the days and break up the boredom, and it still feels this way. Have you guys ever experienced this? That's sort of that feeling of a general en wee of being stuck in a rush. Like a mundaneness. You're not actually, you don't feel unhappy, but you're just kind of going through the motions. that there's nothing new or exciting really happening.

You're never in a situation where anything new or exciting could happen kind of thing. And you feel like, you know, at a very sort of low level, you're just like, oh, what's the point sometimes? Yeah. I mean, it's like I feel like it's also when you're in that situation where you think my bills are paid, I have a place to live. My job is, I can get to my job fine. I like my job. I like my colleagues. I love my partner, my kids.

But there's something missing. And I think it's a very common feeling that you get. I'd say probably around 30 was, as I got to that age, that was around the time I started to think, like, what is this all about? Because you've had education for all your life. You've finally got out into the quote-unquote real world and you are presented with these ideas

that you've been working for this since you were like four years old. We've been putting you into the machine to turn you into a good worker. You pop out of university or whatever or whatever further education you've done. And suddenly you're in the real world you realize it's actually a bit of a fucking grind and it's pretty boring a lot of the time

and you feel lucky to just be alive and have a job and bills pay, but you think there must be more than this. I understand that completely. I think a lot of it is just modern life as well. We're very comfortable. And through being very comfortable, I think we're very complacent as well. And I think that the one thing that you could try to do that will, A, keep your mind off. or be maybe give you a bit more sort of satisfaction or fulfillment is to is to get involved in a hobby and that could be anything um like for me i find uh because i i like gaming um you know i look forward to like something new coming out like right now i'm looking forward to arc raiders coming out like i know i'll probably only play it for a couple of weeks or whatever but i just like

i like the idea that a new game is coming out something i get my my teeth into a bit play it you know hook up with some friends play it play it on my own a bit or whatever And then, but still do all the things that I have to do, you know, like keeping that balance of actually living an adult life and then, you know, and then just winding down with like some gaming or whatever. But there's, there's other things you could do as well. Like, you know, like there's, there's loads of like hobbies. Like, uh, you could like, you could try doing like some woodworking. You could try to build something. You could try, you know. Well, he said he's a carpenter. Like that's a hobby is that they're a carpenter. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's probably

all sorts of, of different things that you could, you could just try out. You know, maybe like, try some photography or try, like, doing some art or something or, you know what I mean? Like, I think it's really easy to just sort of, you know, get home, sit down, put on your, your TV and just go through all the, the multitude of streaming services and try to find something to watch and everything looks boring and stuff. But like, yeah, I think you just got to get out and like, in a sense, I think, okay, this is a very good problem to have. I, I don't, I, I, I, I, think that you are, okay, you have to step back a little bit and look at where you are in life. If you have got a comfortable job, a comfortable thing that you're comfortable with,

if you like doing it, if you're enjoying it, like, if it's not, if it's, if it's fulfilling and ticking boxes, you know, it sounds like you work for a charity, which is obviously a rewarding thing to do. Yeah, that must, that should keep you busy enough. There should be, and it's, look, everyone, I think this is part of who, um, chimp brain is, is unsatisfied with what they have. It's part of who we are. Now, he has B and A. You think chintz are unsatisfied? I think they're very satisfied. They always want more. They always want to like be hunting for for more food and for more sex and for more everything, right? Everyone wants more. They think they deserve more. They want what other people can. And how come I see them sit around

picking fleas out of each other's backs all day? Lazy fuckers. The problem is is that look, from my point of view, I'm always, I'm not great at this. I'm always worried about something. I'm worried about the mistake I made or this thing that's coming up or I'm upset because I didn't take an opportunity that I should have done and I'm kicking myself or some other things gone wrong and I'm like thinking, how am I going to fix that? And then I'm, you know, I'm worried about this, this element of my relationship. I'm worried about, you know, this upcoming. I'm anxious and worried and fearful of all the time about all sorts of things and maybe that's a problem that I have.

But certainly I would love to be in a position where I feel like, things are stable and I'm not saying that you should feel that way. Absolutely not. I'm just saying that everyone has something going on at all times. There's always going to be dissatisfaction. And you have to do things like meditation and, you know, like Sips said, I get a hobby to straighten out your busy bee-filled mind sometimes because all of us all of us feel this way. Um, you're not allowed. I used to like, uh, I used to like, um, early on, uh, World of Warcraft. I used to like rating, uh, or the thought of rating even, you know, like I used to like, I go to work

and stuff and I get home and I do a couple of things. I'd have dinner and I'd watch a bit of TV or whatever. And then I would sit down and I would just play wow. And like sometimes you do some rating or some, you know, just grind out something or whatever. Like I don't know. I felt like before I had kids that was like, I mean, it was like kind of the same thing. over and over every day, but like I was, I was very content with that, you know, like I felt like I had like things that I like to do that I could get stuck into and then I felt like I had a bunch of things I had to do that I could, you know, I could see an end to. And then, you know, it was just like a nice, nice balance. I think it's just a balancing thing. I think you've got

to have a really good balance. Something that's helped me is having, writing down a list of tasks and ticking them off and doing doing them, you know, making sure things are tidy, making sure I've got, like, supplies for the week or, like, cooked some, you know, put some simple things, you know, not, not procrastinating, obvious jobs. There's only, there's only two things you need to do. Number one, get home for work and start smashing that, get those cans of cider down as fast as you can. And number two, furious masturbation.

At least six times a day, like, six times a day. Like, where the fiction is so intense, there's like sparks flying off. The more aggressive, the better. Exactly. This is Nick from New Jersey. Sorry, Nick from New York. My apologies, Nick. I apologize.

With the recent mailbag episode, once again, centering around unique eating habits, that was the only time we've ever done that, actually. I was inspired to reach out the smartest group of specious I know. That's us. What is the one food or dish that is most likely to be eaten the same way by everyone who eats it with as little variation as possible? I would have thought something like an apple, but clearly they are not a good. exempt from strange consumption.

I was going to say probably a chocolate bar, but I know some people probably suck the chocolate off the bar first and then pick the fucking peanuts out one by one or some gross shit. I was going to say, I don't think there's really any particularly weird ways you could just eat a mug of soup. Oh, man, you know what? My daughter sometimes has like these oat breakfast biscuits for breakfast. and what she'll do is like she doesn't she doesn't always eat all of them

so you know there'll be there'll be a couple like left over on her plate even the most simple fucking thing and oat biscuit I know you can't think of a simple food I go into the living room and I see the plate and I'm like oh shit nice she's left a couple of like oat biscuits behind

but they're all fucking soggy because she's like sucked on them she's like sucked on each individual one I know she's little but like you know what I mean I think that's crazy to do that Is that what you tell her What are you fucking doing

This is crazy Of course I do I do Suck it on these biscuits That's insane You don't suck on the biscuits You don't suck on the biscuits That's crazy

They always sucked There's like a couple of them Some of them are fine You know you can tell They look dry But then some of them just look soggy Because you sucked on them And you just think

What are you doing Sucking on the biscuits Like what are you breeding In your house I gotta chuck these out No I'm not fucking eating That's gross Biscuit suckers

The little time of the future we're going to have. If you popped it in the air for about 30 seconds, is that going to steam off all the spit and it's going to be fine? I would not even try. Like, I don't even want to. That is some student level shit, isn't it? Yeah, that really is. That's like, I'm so fucking hungry.

I'll do anything. Well, you know, look, I've forgotten what that email was about. What was it about? Oh, they're eating for, yeah, soup. I'd be honest with me, a mugger soup. What can you do with that? Yeah, how can you fuck that? up. I mean, people obviously probably have some way. What kind of soup? Is it like just a pure

off the soup? It's literally just like cream of tomato soup. Mugabovril. Mugabovril soup or a mugger tomato soup. I think if there's anything in it, that's when it's going to be people are going to start. I picked out every individual piece of carrot and put it on a separate little socky plate next to me. Right. I don't know. A glass of water. Drink it through your nose. You see that? You see that guy drink a pint of beer through his nose on the internet? Yeah, I did. He's not going to do that with soup, is he? I mean, that'd be...

Well, what's the next step? It's beer today, maybe soup tomorrow. Maybe, uh, maybe could be like, uh, you know, some sort of motto. A good teacher. He's going to cut you a stew through his nose. Maybe soup tomorrow. Who's with me? I love that.

Yeah. That should be like the motto on like a school banner in Latin or whatever. Yes. Beard today. Maybe soup. tomorrow. If you were a lunch person, a lunchman, and not a lunch lady, you could maybe get away

with where you're sure like that. He's a lunch man. My God, his father was a lunchman and his grandfather was a lunchman. He's a lunchman. He deals in lunches. Man, I kind of wish that some stuff like that would come back, you know? Like, it's like you're either a

billionaire or you work in the finance industry and then everybody else is just a pleb. Like, where are all these noble professions now? They replace them with machines. mate bring them back though like why can't we have like why can't we once again be proud of somebody who is just you know

doing like a job like a lunchman or a lunch lady or whatever I know we're already proud of them but like we should celebrate these people a lot more I think I agree I think the noble lunchman he's a lunchman I would describe him as a lunch man that could be the motto of the lunchman

the lunchman be it today lunch today lunch today maybe soup tomorrow. The motto of the lunchman. We're a proud. I love the thought of a lunchman. A good lunchman. If you had to go back to,

if you had to take a job now, okay, like let's say whatever we're doing now, streaming or YouTube, content creation, whatever, it completely overnight dries up. Amazing.

Tomorrow you need to find a job. I've become a lunchman. Well, listen. I've seen videos of, in YouTube, but of Indian workplaces where they have some curry lunchman and he goes around to deliver everyone their lunches, so all the officers are pretty stand.

I used to work with an Indian lad when I was at HSBC. Really nice guy. There was actually a whole group of them had been seconded to Jersey to work. I like that word, by the way, seconded. And they all came from Hyderabad. And I was talking to him one day, and he was saying in Hyderabad where he lives, because he was only over temporarily

You know, secondment was just for a year or whatever But where he lives in Hyderabad He wasn't married, he was a younger guy He lived in a house with eight other guys Eight other single guys All around the same age And they had a dinner man Who'd come in every day

And cook them a huge dinner But like he would cook like these massive massive meals And then it was kind of almost like meal prep He would put them all into like Tupperware containers because these guys all kept like odd hours and stuff. But it was really economical for them to hire this guy to prepare meals for them because it meant that they weren't just taking takeaways all the time or like, you know, eating each other's food or whatever.

It was all very organized. This guy would come in. He would make these big feasts. Everybody would have like their portion or whatever. There'd be more than enough if you wanted like seconds and stuff. And that was his job. He was just like dinner man. He was a dinner man.

He would come in. in and he would just get the dinner ready. I just thought that was really cool. You should have said to him, you know. I thought that was really cool, actually. It's such a good idea, you know, like having somebody to just. Yeah. Try to call back.

Thank you for your dinner service. Yeah. So I really, I just, I don't know, I feel like everyone going out to buy a crappy sandwich from Setesco meal deal or like, you know, an overpriced preta manger. Price Pret-a-Montje or Gregs. No, forget about that. Let's get a dinner man in it, a luncheon. Pre-a-morgie.

I'm sorry, please, me, monsieur, I'm sorry-fam. I'm sorry, I like, who is the dinner-home? Who is a luncheoner-o? Who is the lunche? Who is the lunche, l'am de dinner? Who is the lunche? Who is a lot of lunche de june? Who is leon de june?

I don't know like incredulous. Way, O'A! O'Ne! I've been wondering, O'Ey, or nay. Oh, way. It is past time. Okay, God.

I wanted to contribute, this is from Daniel. My thoughts on your recent discussion of warning signs and announcements. I think it's often overlooked. Quite how many, indeed. Warning signs, announcements, directions, prohibitions, and safety advisories

we're subjected to in modern life. In my opinion, the frequency with which we've been bombarded, these is simply too high, exclamation mark. Think about a train journey. I often get the train into and around London. There are so many announcements, it makes me want to rip my ears off. Gosh, don't do that.

Just between two stations, I counted five or six announcements. Doors closing. The automated announcement of all the stops. Another announcement of all the stops by the guard. A. C.S.A. It's sorted announcement. An anti-abuse message. And the guards mind the gap when we arrive. Multiply this by the 10 or so stops to get to my destination and you see the pattern.

I see the pattern. We've talked about this before, though. We have. The problem is that there are a vast majority of people, I would say, have almost zero situational awareness. And if not for these things, bleeding out constantly and reminding them, it would be anarchy. Like, just take anyone that you know that's like slightly older, for example, it's like a deer in the headlights. You take them to a big city if they have, they're not used to being in a. big city, they lose their minds.

Like, they just cannot function. They, they, all their common sense or what little of it they had, it just evaporates immediately. And they are just like, like, they've turned into mush brains and they have to have everything spelled out for them. And you can see why it happens. And, you know, I think you do have the conflux of both the people who do that. Sorry.

Yeah. It's amazing. They, you have both the people who, or maybe confluence, I probably said, the wrong word. The people who are there every day. They're like on a mission. They're going to work. They're going home. They know exactly room. If you're a seasoned Londoner who uses

public transport and you know everything, all the ins and outs, it's like muscle memory. You do it all the time. Of course that's going to fucking bug you. There's a certain amount of them. But then there's also a couple of, you know, tourists, a couple of people who don't go to London every day. A couple of people who are traveling through with

suitcases. And they are like, but you know, blocking this, you know, they're like a different animal in this swarm of sheep that's going around them and you can tell that it's, you know, that they are out of place and I think that there is like a lot of people who are stupid

and that's, I think, probably what I said before in the previous podcast, these announcements you just have to do. A guy asked me, he was like oh, could you wake me up before my stop? You know, because I'm so tired I might fall asleep. Can you wake me up before you go, go? Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo. Yes, mate. can't do.

But I was only going for like one stuff. What a lyric. You came up with don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo. Like that must have been such a compromise, eh? He must have been racking his brain. Just thinking like, wow, can I fucking rhyme this? And then somebody probably at dinner or something said, don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo. How about that?

And he's like, uh, I was thinking he would see someone walking around with a yo-y. I'll take it. Like in the movie. he'd be there looking out the window, really thinking, and some guy walks past with a yo-yo. He's like, of course! Yo-yo rhymes with Go-Go! And that was what he went with. I thought he should have said, don't leave me hanging on your mum's a ho-ho.

I think it would have been a better... Right. I don't know if it would have caught on... Please don't go and call the Po-Po. That would have been another lyric. Please don't go ahead and call the Po-Po. Yeah. So Go-Go, it could be Yo-Yo.

So far we got Coco. Don't let our relationship go extinct like the do-do. Do-do. That's way better. Thank you. Yeah, that's much better. Yeah. All right, let's move on.

This is one of the corrective emails that I feel compelled to read out. This is something I said that is deserving of correction. This is from Javan. I feel compelled to email enough. After listening to you guys talk about the Jackson children. I'm sure others will say it, but the child held over the balcony was blanket. Paris's younger brother. So Paris wasn't held over the balcony. That was blanket. Oh, sorry. As a mixed race person, I have very little melanin, a parent, and most people do assume

I am white. But regardless of how I look, the truth is that I am mixed race. And I also consider myself more culturally black than white, as my family is mostly black. Also, I was somewhat offended by your invalidation of how Paris views her racial identity, as it is very hard as a white passing mixed race person to be accepted by either group. My black family call me white boy, and my white family treat me as a foreigner. Gosh, that's terrible. Not sure if this email was even worth typing, but I just wanted to add my two cents.

It's fair enough, but I mean, you can see where we're coming from, though, being, you know, as we won't have any understanding of that because it's literally not something that's ever affected us. We never had to think about it. Like, all of our parents are like neon white. There's no, you know, there's no ifs, answer, buts about it. okay move on my question was more

that I had no point do I genuinely believe that she is biologically Michael Jackson's child that was more my point yeah I don't know man it's like it's it is a weird area like it is kind of a weird area because it's like I don't know

I don't even know how to explain it I'm sorry if we offended you or invalidated We meant no offense at all. We're not going out of our way to invalidate, and of course we're not saying that nobody has the right to identify culturally, especially if they have, like, genetics within them that puts them into that culture directly or whatever. But like from somebody on the outside looking in, you can kind of see, like, how we would

get it mixed up or where we'd be coming from sort of thing, I think. Like I'm not saying she's not allowed how, you know, she's. clearly this out. I'm just saying that in terms of genetics, it feels to me, yes, the possibility is there that she's just very fair-skinned, multiracial woman. Absolutely happy to accept that. I'm just saying that for me personally, Michael Jackson seems like the kind of guy who would just get a complete surrogate child and then we're meant to believe that she's related to Michael Jackson. And I don't because I'm very conspiratorial when it comes to celebrities. So that's it. I'm just saying I personally don't see her as mixed race. But

Yes, you're right. I shouldn't judge. It's her skin, not mine. So fair play. Yeah, yeah. Right, next one. Next, science's answer. In Triforce number 331, I ask, this is me,

why can't we put soup in bread bottles and carry that around all day? Answer me that, science. And, of course, someone with a master's in biomolecular technology and a module on biogred... Science has clapped back. They have clapped back, indeed. The issue with anything like this is that the product packaging, must be waterproof, airtight, and long-lasting, but biodegradable products tend to decompose quickly, so anything with this packaging would have a pitiful shelf life. Your bread bottle would be stale

and hard before it even reached Sainsbury's, assuming it hadn't soaked and promptly leaked minestrone sauce soup everywhere. Soup's edible water bottle idea, it did exist. A brand called Uho made them from seaweed. They decomposed within four to six weeks and had a claim shelf life of a few days. As far as I see it, regular biodegradable packaging will never work. However, if you had a large event, you could feasibly keep many of these products fresh in an imperishable container, which is only opened on the day. Like a dinner man. Like a dinner man. Get your lunchman in there and also stops the festival litter issues.

So if you can imagine at the festival, you've got all these biodegradable bottles that will only last a couple of days. But it doesn't matter because you don't release them to perishable status. You keep them sealed up until you need them. open them up. You're going to sell all those water bottles that day. You don't have plastic all over these fields. I think that's a good answer. It does make sense that the shelf life is a thing. Because if you're trying to make something combustible, a compostable, it's got to be, that's basically the conditions at home and just crush up some fruit into a vial and then take that to the festival. You know, you can just nibble on some cured meats and drink your crushed up. juice trick in your vial. I think people do that. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Bring it a pack lunch.

Yeah, it's just a pack lunch. Yes. Cure your own meats. Hey, we don't want to put the lunchmen out of work. No. Bringing your own lunch is going to put him out of business. The dinner man. Yes.

I was a dinner man until this man came up with this idea of bringing one's own food with them. Whichever devil invented the lunch box will suffer. I'm just into the idea of a lunchman. I just think it would be nice. You know what I love the idea of. like a harvest festival, you know, like bring, bring a harvest festival back, but like a real old fashioned one, you know, where you go down and, and people are like bacon goods and stuff, but it's, everything's free. You know, you just turn up and like somebody's cooking up like a big

jamboree meal for everybody. Uh, and there's like, you know, you can have a selection of like, uh, you know, so because like if you've harvested loads and loads of stuff and you've sold most of your harvest off, just keep a little back for the harvest festival. and then everybody can go down there and just have a good time and like, I wish there was just more stuff that was free, you know? Like, it's not unreasonable to- You can join no, come on, though. Why isn't there more stuff that's just kind of free? You know, like, you can just turn up to and somebody can give you like a hot chocolate or something and maybe like a harvest festival for free. It's not crazy to say that.

I'll tell you where you can. It is crazy. It is crazy. and prepare it and get the chocolate and all of it and you're just like just give it to me

for free. It's a celebration. For you? Exactly. I'm here. I've turned up and a bunch of other people turned up as well we want our free hot chocolate.

All you've done is turn out. It's not unreasonable. I think it is. It's not. You're just saying if enough of this get together and go to the same place. I think it's a shame

that we don't have these. You do have them. But you need to be like you need to go to a church. That would be the first place I would go for a harvest festival. I don't want to be fucking indoctrinated into a church

just to have a free hot chocolate and a harvest festival. You want to just be a normal person with my own beliefs and I want to have free harvest festivals and maybe a whole chocolate boobah fuck. What's the fucking sake?

Why have we become like this? I just give me some why you all this is the maddest type. This is the magic hot chocolate. This is the magic. maddest shit I've heard it ages

food on a free festival why that's insane what are to people just giving away things it's just unbelievable

man come on I just want a free harvest festival oh what about a free nautical themed buffet that you can go to like on a boat you know

like how many boats do you need let the people have a boat that they can go on and have a free nautical buffet on or a harvest festival that you don't have to pay for, just for the community, you know? Man, that'd be so nice. P.S., I'm not organizing it. Yeah, I was going to say,

what are you fucking get one star in this? Somebody else has to do all this. Oh, man, oh man. All right. This is from Alamo. After you guys discussing, this was back in September, discussing how no one talks about Lempic. And then how Google searches. For good reason as well. Fuck. that guy, but in particular. Google searches spiked after we discussed him, apparently. Private Eye magazine ran an article on what he's doing now.

Coincidence? Do you think that maybe we spurred on like a mini revival of Lemic Mania? I'd love it if it was true. They said he is the elected chair of the celebrity team.

He's the elected chair. Holy shit. Can you imagine on the celebrity stock market if you had him just as like a sleeper investment and all of a sudden fucking the click started spiking because he'd like he'd got like we've got a podcast holy shit the insider trading could be enormous that's true so apparently he is the elected chair of the parliament of Asgardia a self-declared space nation with ambitions to conquer outer space bankrolled by Russian billionaire Igor Asher Bailey they also stated that like many other middle-aged men thinking

of buying a sports car. He was turning up as a guest speaker at UKIP events. So who will take him now? Step forward, Reforms. Reform UK's new spokesman for North and Northwest, Norfolk, Lembert OPEC. So he's with reform now. So basically just a mega grifter who is always looking for the next fucking grift. Anybody who gets involved with fucking billionaire space fantasy money and stuff.

Or some sort of real life, Nigel, real life, Alan Partridge. Yes, yeah, exactly. that's what they're all like Alan Partridge the new series is actually so funny too. He is excellent. He is so good at making fun of these people because they are so absurd. They're so

fucking ridiculous. Lembic OPEC is just another one in line and of course he gets involved with reform. He would have to like of course he fucking did. He was a live damn back in the day. I guess he's whatever. He's whatever, whoever pays the most money, he'll, he'll, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he

off while the other one's being cheeky. No, what I'm saying is they switch erud. There's no way they switch. 100%. Not for that fucking. He looks like a fucking gray slab of rock that guy. There's no way they did a switcheroo for him. They love it.

If they did, there's no justice in this world. That's why he's my hero. This one's be lembit. We dedicate my big up this week is lembit. At least one of the cheeky girls. There's got to be better things. vetoed for the bigups? Yeah, I vetoed it.

Yeah, because the big up this week is definitely the idea of a free harvest festival which is complimentary hot chocolate. I won't have any words said against it either. You know what? We could do this next year. We could do in Queen Square in Bristol. The Yor's Harvest Festival. Oh, shit.

And we get all local produce from around the area. A harvest festival for the world. All the farmats, get some cider and everything. Free hot chocolate. Louis, you can let these contacts through. Jingle jam? You can man the hot chocolate stand. Oh, I would do.

I would do that happily. I would do that happily. Oh, that's such a good idea. I would love to. He would love to. Great. It's going to happen. I'm going to make it happen.

I mean, I will say there is quite a homeless problem in Bristol. So I think the number one attendee will be homeless people. Well, that's fine. What I'm saying is we should have stuff that's like for them. So. Yeah, hot chocolate and a free harvest festival. What more could they want? Some crack.

I was thinking. Safe needles. I'm just kidding. I mean, I think it would be really good. I think it would be really good. Yeah, cool, I think it would be good. All right, here is a Pee emails in, a fellow P. I love the podcast.

You probably shared some already, but I would really like to hear the cringiest stories you guys have from your teenage years. Here are some of mine. I once absentmindedly gave peanuts to a homeless man who was clearly asking for coins, only realizing too late what I'd done. The look on his face still haunts me as I cringe while trying to fall asleep. I once proudly told a policeman that I was not. available and I actually do have a girlfriend, as I misunderstood his, you are free to go as are you free slash available? To my defense, with the correct intonation in Croatian, you can

interpret the first one as a question, and I was at the time very proud to have a girlfriend and probably very eager to share this news. And the third one of the earliest and for me worst cringe moments was when I gave a girl I really fancied a high five as I walked her home after a nice evening together, only realizing a few years later from another friend that it was in fact to date and I left her a bit confused as to why I suddenly just left. I've had a cringe moment in a very similar situation to that. I was on what I didn't realize was a date at the time. And as such, I did not treat it at all like a date.

And when I left, I kind of realized after, oh, shit, that could have been, that could have been something different to what it was. But alas, it was never to be. I've had like maybe one of those. And then nothing like, nothing tremendously awkward. Just a couple of like waving to somebody at the mall thinking that they'd seen me, but they hadn't. And you know, you just end up having to like try to recover from it. You know, like you're waving and the person that you thought was looking directly at you, hasn't seen you, and continues to walk, and then you've got to, like, pretend that you were just, like, stretching or, like, scratch your head or whatever. Oh, it's bad, yeah. I remember one time, this was New Year's in Bournemouth. I was absolutely blasted. I was

walking home, and as I'm walking, I think these two women are coming towards me, and I thought I knew them, and I hadn't seen them in ages. And I went, hello! And held my arms out really wide. Like, hey, how's it going? And they just carried on their conversation and walked straight past me, They didn't even acknowledge me. And as they passed me, I realized I didn't know either of them. And I thought, wow, they handled that really well. They didn't look at me. They didn't stop.

They didn't, they're not even a beat. But I still think quite often, they must have thought, this drunk asshole. But I really thought there were some good friends of one that hadn't seen for years. I was like horror. I was back in Wormwood for the first time in ages. Man. I thought it was them. Recently, I saw somebody that, and I was sure it was this person that I recognized.

And they were walking with their daughter. and this also made me sure it was her because I knew she had a daughter, but I don't, I wasn't like familiar with the daughter, but I knew she had a daughter around that age and it looked exactly like her. And I was driving into a car park. This happened like a couple weeks ago. And I, and I like lent out of my window to do like an awkward like stare or whatever because I know like I know her enough to like, you know, where it would just be like, it'd be kind of funny sort of thing. And then she turned around and it wasn't her. And I was like, oh shit, sorry. or somebody else, like, I was fully

fucking leaning out of the window and everything. Like, it was really embarrassing, actually. That is, that is bad. Yeah. It happens. I'm always amazed at Lewis. Lewis never considers him and his gym trainer to be a cringy, embarrassing memory. It doesn't

bother you. It doesn't bother. I think he's got a fault that he just locks all this stuff away in, you know. I love that. I think you just, in my head. Yeah, he just he's, he's an upwards and upwards kind of guy, you know. I don't think he gets stuck on the details, you know? It's just, it's locked away.

Maybe one day it'll eat away at him and he'll be like, I've got to get back in touch with my personal trainer. I've got to make some amends. It's too small fry. Do you know what I mean? I've got bigger fish to fry. Do you? I've got bigger fears, bigger worries.

Yeah? Bigger things to deal with. Bigger squirrels to shoot. There's tons of people I'm dealing with on a daily basis who are absolute cunts. Who are, you know. demand that I have to have a license for this or that I have to, you know, fucking, you know, some, they pull out of jingle jam at the last minute and stuff like this. You know, there's tons of people I'm dealing with that are, I can't make it this year.

That are very, you know, it's, you know, it's frustrating. I'm just kidding. I will be there. Yeah, I get it. When are you going? When am I going? Yeah. Second week.

Second week, okay. Yeah. Let me know when you're going and I'll come out at around the same time. The second week. Okay. Okay. I'll commit it to my memory banks right now. The second week of December.

Right. I would come down. I know they actually, Dad told me, Hey, Piri, we're really excited to see you on Saturday the sixth for the poker stream. And I said, I'm not coming down on the Saturday the sixth. I go into a gig with my eldest. We're going to see everything, everything. Brickston Academy, they're playing our favorite album.

It's going to be lit. And he was like, oh, well, I have to move the whole poker then. And I was like, Please do, because that's my favorite thing. So I'm driving down on the Sunday and just going, I'm literally arriving, parking, putting my stuff in my Airbnb, and going straight to the office to do the poker. He was like, you're happy to do that?

I was like, yeah, of course I'm fucking happy to do. I spend my whole year looking forward to the poker stream. So that's it. I wouldn't miss it for the world. So that day is when I'll be down from that week. Let's finish with this one. This is from Brett. Brett.

Here's a possible interesting discussion. Who would be the hosts of the anti-Tryforce podcast? If we are matter, they are anti-matter. They're like our opposites. Who hates us? We destroy it. Who absolutely hates our guts. A podcast hosted by our respective warios and Waluigi's.

Very nice, Brett. Here are my picks. I think the counter to our podcast would be something very intellectually stimulating. And correct all the time. And very correct as well. Right. So these would be the hosts. The anti-Lewis would be Kyle Walker.

Right. Which I think is. Oh, yeah. The anti-sips, a bit harder, but Adele. They've gone for Adele. And the anti-perian is apparently Greg Wallace. Greg Wallace or that guy, the guy that we were talking about the other week there, that Andy Circus or whatever his name is.

Andy Circus, yeah. Andy, was it Andy Circus? Smelly Andy Circus, as he is known. Lovely anti-circass. Yeah, that could be your. Old Smelly Andy Circus. Andy smells bad. Anti, anti-Flax.

Smelly circus. Andy Flax, yeah. I don't know. Like, I feel like we feel like we. got to have our evil doppelgangers, though. Like, who is a legacy YouTuber who's, like, like evil, you know? Like, who's been around as long as me, but is terrible and somehow has made it this far and it's terrible. Tobuscus. Okay. And then, then obviously you need your, versions as well. So you're a streamer, right? If there's tons of awful streamers who are on

kick or whatever now, who electrocute their dogs and stuff. The fucking dog electrocution thing, this is so fucking stupid. The dog caller thing. It's just like, first of all, why have a dog if it's really that annoying that apparently, I mean, it's just bizarre. And I mean, I don't know what's real. I don't know what's not. I don't care. But I just don't want people to, why would you have a shock collar for your dog anyway?

I can't imagine that. I tell you what it is, and this is what I think it is, he is a incredibly wealthy guy. He says his circles are those kind of cunts who have no respect for people, let alone animals. I'm allergic to those kind of people. I think that he just probably got some advice from some local asshole who said, oh, this is fine, this is how I train my dog. Look how good my dog is. And then he realized, oh, maybe this isn't actually a normal thing that people in the rest of the world do.

shit I wonder if they make the lie I wonder if they make those for like safe to lie and shock collars

but also like maybe on a smaller scales that basically basically I want to put one on my dick and shock I want to shock my cock

if you want to shock if you want to shock someone else is a small one you can do that hi do you do shock colors really small

you do tiny shock colors for a little beepies we sure do sir step right in here. All right. Do we want one more? Are we going to call it?

It's up to you guys. I don't care. No, let's go. I got to go. It's late. It's late. It's fucking late.

Thank you. That was a great mail bag. I had a lovely time. Thank you for your emails. Thank you. And keep them coming. Keep those cracking emails flowing through. Put a shock collar on your email.

Apologies for having the audacity to suggest a free harvest bounty. And apologies for having to enjoy. for having opinions about things as well. If that offended you, I'm really sorry, okay? It was just an idea. He's so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't think he's a bad idea.

I think you might just need to join a cult for it to happen. Right. Okay. I don't want to join a cult for that to happen. Well, no, no free stuff for you then, mate. Yeah, tough shit, mate. Mate, come on. Mate.

Mate. Mate. Mate. See you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.