Triforce! - Concrete Con 2026!!! | Triforce #351

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

Triforce! Episode 351! Lewis is enjoying a lovely wedding in sunny Bicester (or is it Bister? Who cares), Pyrion gets threatened by a body building ex-fan while attending ConcreteCon 2026 with John Bovril and Sips watched a dog poop. Go to http://shopify.com/triforce to sign up for your $1-per-month trial. Go to http://buyraycon.com/triforceOPEN to get 15% off the Essential Open Earbuds. Thanks Raycon for sponsoring! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Hello everyone and welcome back to the TriFle's podcast. Sorry, we missed a week. Oh, that's my fault. Oh, crazy life. One of us has had a birthday. Who? One of us.

You guess which one? Of course, yeah. Hang on a second. Let me think. It wasn't me. Happy birthday to you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Happy birthday flax. How's it, how's it going? I turned 50. I know. So it was a big one. I know. That's when the candles start getting, you know, into a raging inferno.

Yeah, that's when it's a fire hazard. I got to, I was working on my birthday. I was in Birmingham for the last 10 days. I got back on Monday. I was away doing a Dota tournament in Birmingham, which was great fun. So a lot of Yogs fans and tiny penis havers and the rare gaping vagina have her. Oh my God. We have a lot of female listeners.

Yeah. I met a bunch of them in Brum, but the rare one that will come up and tell you they have a gaping vagina. Had that, which was great. Well done to that person. Man, it always amazes me. Not so much that we have female listeners, just that we have any listeners at all. I know. I was like, you guys listen to the podcast?

They were like, oh, we love it. Jesus. I was like, the Triforce podcast. They were like, yeah. I was like, wait, I googled it. We're the only Triforce podcast. There's not another one. They were referring to us.

I was astonished. But yeah, so the whole crowd sang me happy birthday. And one of the voice actors for Dota, John Patrick Lowry, who voices Pudge and a bunch of other heroes, he sang me happy birthday as Putsch. He does a hug. He's most famous as Snipers. He's brilliant. Yeah.

So he's good. Saying me happy birthday as Pudge and Sir Action Slacks brought me a cake. But it wasn't just me. It was also my mate Owen, Odie Pixel, who's one of the castes. It was his. We share a birthday. So it was actually, to both of us and everything. It was lovely.

So you turned, what, did you turn 50 and he just turned like 25 or something? I think he's 33. Oh, okay, that sounds so bad. Yeah. Oh, he's a baby. I hesitate to say when I get recognized, we do it ultimately, but we say, oh, I got recognized by a fan. Right.

Now, I think I get recognized by a lot of people who aren't necessarily fans. Yeah. Well, a lot of people will recognize me. They'll come and say, oh, I recognize you from somewhere or, you know, I know, I think you Lewis from the OSCast and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. And then they say, it's a thing that happens more and more. They say, oh, you used to watch your videos. And then they realize what they've said, which sounds a bit bad.

It sounds like, oh, I know. And then they sort of backtrack a bit. They're like, oh, not that you're bad now or anything or like, you know, anything. You know, it's hard to like, they really, and then there's this little like awkward moment. So I always try to jump in and I'm like, that's totally understandable. You know, times have changed. You know, that they, you know, it's so funny, but a lot of people have. So, okay, I went to a wedding yesterday.

That's where I am at the moment. I'm in the Airbnb, and I have to leave by 11. Oh, I don't you say you were in the ceremony right now, but quietly? Oh, muttering into your phone. And look, it was a lovely wedding. I love going to a wedding. I haven't been to one for a little while. And they're always, everyone tries to put their own spin on it.

There were a couple of really nice things they did. like they had a couple, because they got married in Hong Kong last year with all that side of the family. Do we know these people? No, it's my partner's brother. I see. I see. I'm not too familiar with that side of the family. But they borrowed a few sort of Chinese traditions.

I don't know if they're Chinese dishes. One of them was they both brought some sand from places that were meaningful to them. And then they combined those two sand into. with bottles so that the grains were intertwined, stuff like that. Lots of romantic. God almighty. Where's your sand from? I got it on the layby off the A35.

Well, actually, yeah, one of them brought it from the rice lip lido, which is like a swimming pool in. Yeah, outdoor swimming pool. It's not, it's not the classiest place. Right. But I thought that was quite funny. So, yeah, stuff like that. They wasn't taking it too seriously. It was all very lighthearted and fun.

There was good stuff like they cut the cake early so everyone could eat it before the end, you know, if they got peckish during the rest of the day, which was a smart thing to do as well. Because normally you take the cake away, everyone takes the cake away and it's just a lot of fath. You never eat it. The bit you take away, like quite commonly a wedding,

they'll put it in like a carball box. So the only time you have a bit of cake in a box, They give you a little cobbl box slice to take away as if it's like a memento. It's getting straight in the bin. Don't be silly. It's just, you know, I'm not going to... You do see that, though, like people have still got bits of royal wedding cake from the 50s or whatever. Oh, that's fair enough.

I mean, geez, that's fair enough. You can't eat that, though. How's the money pick going in Keynesham? It's Keynesham, by the way, not Keensham. It's Keynesham. I can pronounce it however I want. It's Keynesham. How do you pronounce Milton Keynes?

Milton Keynes. Listen, I don't make the rules up here. You want to be... This is P-flats. I know. You want to be the newcomer to Keynesham, walking around calling at Keensham. People are hate you. I don't care. Okay.

Bring it on. Oh, my God. How is the money pit anyway? Oh, fine. You know who I met in Brum? I met up with Spiff and Mango. Had a chat with them. Apparently they came to visit the money pit.

They saw the money pit. They saw it. What did they say about it? They gave it a glowing review. What is the money pit? They did say it needs some work. My house. Oh, you're a...

It did not click whatsoever. It is definitely a money pit. They told me two things that really made me laugh. Number one was that there is a one person's sauna in one of the rooms. Right. That is bizarre. It's bizarre, yeah. Is there a sign on it that just says only Lewis allowed?

I haven't used it. It's the naughty boy box. If you're very naughty. Yeah. You go in the hot box. Get in the hot box. And number two, that you didn't realize there was a tennis court. in the vast grounds.

No. Is it one of those like buried ones? It's like buried underneath a bunch of shrubs and whatnot? Have I not talked about this? So, well, okay, so basically it's got a big garden on the front, which apparently floods regularly. So they haven't really done much with the existence. They?

You mean you? They. It's you now. The previous owners. The previous owners just sort of, the previous owners did nothing and said we were rewilding it. Right. That's the sort of excuse.

But I remember rewilding the tennis court as well, because I found a document that said it was last surfaced in 1997. Wow. And I think, you know, so that gives you an idea of how over-grossing. Resurfacing, yeah. It's got, it's all slippery with moss and it's all overgrown with brambles, and it's completely buried, basically, in the... It wasn't on the listing, but it was, I didn't know it was there. But I'm not planning on using it. I said, well, actually had a man come around who does.

like converts them into sort of kitchen gardens because it's already a concrete pad there the tennis court basically right so you can build a greenhouse on it and put some beds on it question question what is a kitchen garden it's like um you know it's basically like a garden like on my kitchen supplies so you'd have herbs beds of herbs you'd have some fruits of vegetables fruits of vegetables stuff that you and a little greenhouse so anyway you grow stuff that you you would they eat potentially. Yes, there's a company who... Restaurants have them a lot.

Local company. They have them out back, yeah. They'll have like a little... It's a very quaint. Look, I think if anyone has a tennis court, they've got a house of a certain standing. I see, even if it's a dilapidate. All right.

Jeez. Anyway, this, I found, I googled it. And the first thing that came up was actually a local firm who converted this other person's tennis court into it. And it looked amazing. Wait, so their whole thing is tennis court to kitchen garden conversions. I think they're a landscaping firm, but they've done a very specific So niche. It does. So niche. Well, but they do driveways and fences and everything. I think they've

actually got like loads of stuff. They seem like they kept over and had a look at their place and they were like, oh yeah, you know. And the money pit is is definitely a hole. It was like the converting it to you know, even adding the greenhouse was like, it's like tens of thousands of pounds. What? You added a greenhouse for tens of thousands. Well, he, He, no, he said that the budget for this one, the budget for that tennis court conversion was 150 grand. Good God Almighty. I read a thing the other day that made me laugh. And somebody was saying basically the, you don't realize it, but the biggest villain in your life is the person who owned your house before you did.

And it's so true, isn't it? Like you would just blame everything on the previous owners of your house. Oh, you're totally right. Well, Lewis's case. I think it's fair enough. Flax, do you? No, it's fine. Flax, you must have now lived in your house for so long, though, that.

There is no traces. Yeah, there's no blame now. I mean, basically, we've been here, yeah, we've been here for 20 years or so. So we're kind of at that point in our house as well where we've just, we've, we've done enough to it and changed it where it's like the, what is it, the ship of, theheus, ship of Theseus. The grandfather's bike, yeah. It's basically a whole brand news. I don't have, I'm not talking about grandfather's bike mate.

Theseus was the previous owner of this house in ancient Greek times. Right. I'm not a grandfather's bike. It's that bad. Yeah, it's that. Honestly, I think, though, that any house you get will have issues, right, and need work. Sure. Because people, you don't.

Also, if you look for it, you can find work to do as well. Like, there's always stuff. So it doesn't really, in a sense, I knew that I think that the floors in this house were obvious when I was buying it. But I sort of didn't mind because I was willing to do a bit of work anyway. and I think it'll be fine anyway,

I went to this wedding and we got there it's about, it was Milton Keyne so that's where I'm at the moment so about two and a half hour drive It's milk canes and got there

and my partner turned to me and said, where's your suit? And I was like, what do you mean where's my suit? And she was like, I didn't see it in the back of the car. And I said,

it's at the toilet store. I'm just going to pick it up right now. I've left it. I left it at home, right? You left it in a home? How do you manage that? I don't know. I think, you know what?

I think it was. I think we were just about to leave and we had, like, we were stopping halfway for a walk. And so when we did that, I was like, okay, I'm going to need my, my shoes. I can't, you know, I need like some walking out or shoes. I'm going to need like some snacks. And so last minute, I was packing all this extra stuff. And then I forgot the most important thing anyway.

I think, I think you're in your house for such. a short amount of time already that you could probably blame that on the previous owners as well because you could just be like, God, they piss me off so much. God, damn. I'm so cheesed off with all their bad decisions that I forgot my damn suit again. Like, you know, I did, I did remember the cheese, though. So, you know, right. Anyway, got got to, got some place. And I looked to my partner and she was like, well, I guess we're going home. And she's, she programmed in the thing, you know, to take us back to and a half hours home. I looked at you.

I was like, we can't, we can't do a five hour round trip. Yeah, we've already driven for two and a half hours. Right.

Yeah, just, there's got to be a place. Well, exactly. Here's what you do. In this situation, you find a funeral parlor,

you break in. Yeah. They often bury people in suits. They do. You take a dead guy's suit. Bingo bingo. Yeah. Bingo,

bingo, bingo, so that's what we did. We went to a, we went to a cemetery. We found a freshly dead body. Right. We got the shovels.

I said funeral parlour, not a cemetery. Unfortunately, the deceased was female, aged 95. So I went to the wedding in a lovely flowery dress. Lovely fascinator in your hat. So, no, we went to Bista Village in the morning. Bista? Have you ever been to Bista Village? Bistair.

Bycester, I believe it's pronounced, actually. Bicester. Bistar. Bistar. Bistar is one of those places where, There's no reason that it should be pronounced that way, and yet it is. What about Buley? Buley's the one that always gets me.

Yeah, Buley's a weird one. There is a place used to the Bistur called Marsh Gibbon. Now, I like to think that that's more of a warning. Look out for the Marsh Gibbon. He'll get you. Yes, that's great. And then there's also a place called Grendon Underwood. Wow.

Grendon-Undon-Otmore. That's... These are very English names, aren't they? Steeple-A. Ashton. Yeah. Go as far as Tuzmore or Rath-Croton. That mispronunciation is part of the appeal.

Little Whipplington. I always assume. If you want a character name for Dungeons and Dragons, you could do worse than Newton Purcell or Barton-Hartzhorn or Newton-Morrell. These are all place names. Those are really good names. Hintin in the Hedges. New Bottle!

Sorry, I just loved reading place name. It's all right. No, Bistar Village is basically, I'd be told about it by Spiff, because he said, oh, you've got to go. it's weird and it is it's basically a fake village that's been built but it's a shopping center i don't know why they have to fool people with their fake villages always i know and every high-end store you could possibly name is there uh fendi yeah they're there it's alice de mcqueen and harrods is there yeah fortloom and mason is there and they've all got a little little shop and it's weird okay now

It's weird because you think you, it does have the, it has like some Disneyland vibe going on. Because it's like fake feeling. It's got this Disneyland energy where it's like not real. There's no Disneyland energy in Bista, surely. But also everyone there at Bistar Village. Like the like the fake fronts of buildings and stuff where it looks like village. Yes, kind of. So it's basically a shopping center that is deemed like a village.

Oh, it's a. In Pingle Drive. Oh, I see. And everyone there is a tourist. This is horrible. Everyone there is a tourist. And so you walk down the street and it's lovely really because it's the whole gamut of different languages.

But everyone's low, every other person is loaded up with bags. Like they're in an American TV show like Sex and the City. Click that massive link sips and you'll see what it looks like me. They've got so many. Everyone's playing stuff. I can't understand it. Oh, it's horrible. It's so fake.

Oh, my God, that is an enormous link. Jesus. Yeah, I know. I don't know why the link is so. That's what she said. Honestly, yeah, you can look it up. But it's obviously, I think the whole part. This looks like the set of Ted Lassow.

Like, you know, like that very quaint. It does. It feels like a movie set. English. Yeah. No, that's just Richmond. The set of Ted Lassow is just Richmond. It's just Richmond.

Yeah. Because Richmond looks very quaint like that. Parts of it. Have I not told you guys about all the fucking tourists in Richmond now? No, I don't think so. I get to Richmond all the time. I go to Richmond all the time. There are dozens and dozens of American tourists coming over to, I guess, coming to London.

And one of the things they do is come to Richmond and go on a fucking tour, a Ted Lassow tour. There's a Ted Lassow shop there now. And they're all like, oh my God, honey. It looks just like a day. I'm a TV show. I'm going to New Zealand to do the Lord of the Rings one like that as well. It's like you go to this, you can go to like a whole new country and stuff and that. And like that's the main thing that you want to do.

There's not much else to do in New Zealand, to be honest. It was in a TV show. I mean, to be fair, I think at least with New Zealand, you're going like on some quite big out and about excursions. You know, those hikes and it's like beautiful countryside anyway. This is people that just want their picture taken in front of a park. went up and had a look at the up on the Death Star. So this is the death.

This is where we fire the laser. Well, the Death Star, as if it was real, and they had just used it as a set. I like the idea of that. There's an orbital satellite. That's the dystopia we're headed for. I reckon they could probably afford to build one as well. Bear in mind, we are in the middle of an actual war.

Whilst in the break between this podcast and the previous episode, I think I'd actual war started. Didn't it? Did the war already start? They were hoping it would have ended by now as well, I think. We could have missed it. Blink, you miss it. God.

We'll be over by Christmas. Anyway, I had a, I picked up a suit, a lovely Bist of Vitch. I think it's full of Harry Potter fans, and they love that quaint vibe. I think a lot of tourists here are wealthier, and this is a place that they think is quaint, and I don't know why they're, it's, it's, it's, I don't know why you, what, how you would buy that much stuff here. I mean, I get it, right? But each shop looks like so unusual and has such weird fashionable stuff in it.

I just don't understand. Anyway, it took me a little while to buy a suit, get it, get one that was vaguely able to fit me. Turn up at the wedding. I had a lovely time. I met a, again, I hesitated, say fan. I got recognized in Bistar Village by someone who was sort of goggling at me because they were like, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here.

I remember I got that in New Zealand as well. someone recognized me and they couldn't quite figure that figure out what I was real. They were like, you shouldn't, you're out of place. I don't. I don't. I'm not convinced that you're real myself. I understand why they would think that. And then a chap recognized me at the wedding as well, which was, which was always nice.

Was it the priest or the vicar or whatever? I now pronounce you, wait a minute, that's Lewis Brindley. Oh my goodness. It's always people of a certain age. And yeah, I think one of them, what I talked, Chatel is a nice guy and he sort of said to me how he was in a bad accident when he was about 17 or 18 and he was on his own in the hospital and all he had was his, I think his iPod or phone or whatever. And he had one episode of the Yogpod and he said, you know, he remembers vividly

that it really cheered him up. I was like, wow, that's a lovely sentiment. So yeah, you don't quite remember. We don't quite realize what people are going through. But shout out to you, whoever you are, and God bless you. We always like it. I'm sure you liked it when people came and met you at the old international event. Yeah. It wasn't it. I've had mixed, mixed reports back. Some people are like, flax is so nice. And then other people are like, flax is so mean. And I was like, you know what? He's a complicated man with a plan. Did you actually have, reports saying that I was mean? No.

People like, people, everybody was saying, oh, he's really nice. I got to meet him and stuff. And then everybody started fucking around and saying, you're on best behavior. I made flex and he wouldn't give me extra air when my oxygen tank ran out and all this. Like, it was just, you know, one of those. Everybody just wanted to one up each other. Yeah. Yeah.

It was good. No, I mean, I'm not. We all had so much fun. We were laughing so hard to. I mean guy. Hopefully people get that. No, no, no. No, no.

No. Well, it was April Fool's Day yesterday. Who gives a shit? That time of recording. Yeah, I don't hate it, but I don't find it funny or anything. Like, maybe I'm just old, but it's just such a stupid. Like, and it's just, it's just the most obvious thing, too. It's like, oh, man, like, here we go again.

Well, okay, the probably April Fool's Day is it's hard to do a good one, right? Yeah. Do you know why? Do you know why? Yeah. Because everybody does it on April Fool's Day. Yeah, so you're just expecting it. Like, there's no prank if you know a prank is coming.

It's the equivalent to, you know, the old bucket on top of a door and you open the door and the bucket tips whatever it is on you. Imagine printing on the door, there is a bucket and it's going to tip on you. Remember to laugh because it's so fucking hilarious. The whole point of a prank is you don't see it coming. You can't wind someone up by forewarning them in the calendar that it's going to happen on a given day. What's the point? It's just an excuse for companies to be all unhilarious on a day. That's all it is.

Fuck it. I say ban that, and ban British summertime and all this clock moving and shit. Get rid of all of it. Yeah. God, yeah. Yeah. I think the issue with April Fool's Day is there's a lot of stupid people out there.

And their idea of April Fool's is something like just not appropriate. You know, to tell someone like, like, there was a, there was a, thread on Casual UK and it says someone at work today got a text off their cousin saying her uncle had died. She left in a mess only to return 30 minutes later after finding out it was an April fool. That is awful. That kind of stuff. People are so stupid. Yeah, that's awful. Like, I mean, you would just be, you'd be so upset. And then, and then, and then somebody's like, ha ha, just a prank. Like, it's, oh, man, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not. There's a lot of cute ones that kids do. Yeah, fine.

Like if you, you know, my, my, my daughter made, uh, Play-Doh food for me. And the joke was, uh, to pretend that there was, uh, like a hot chili in the food while I was pretend eating it. And she was like, April fools. I was like, oh good, you know, you got me. Like a fool. Yeah, I had to do the thing where I was like, you know, breathing fire out of my mouth for

pretend and stuff like that, that's fine. See? I'm all right with those ones. That's fine. For kids, you know. for all kids. Yeah. My six-year-old today

pretended that he was hungry and wanted to slice an apple. And when I gave it to him, he told me it was an April Fool's joke. That is a good one. You know something healthy? I'm joking. See, that's quite fun.

We gently explained April Fool's Day to our three-year-old this morning. She told me there was an Easter bunny on the roof with a wee cheeky grin. And then my eldest turned the milk yellow with food coloring, which did get us. That's fine, right? Yeah, I suppose.

That's not. That's like a weird one. Yeah, it's a weird one. Potentially, a whole lot of wasted milk as well. I mean, if I saw the milk was yellow, I wouldn't even smell it. I'd be like, this is going down the sink immediately. I cannot smell this. It probably stinks so bad.

And then I would have just wasted a whole thing of milk. I don't, but luckily, my lack of a sense of smell is quite handy sometimes. Yeah. In regards to things like that. I don't, I don't. Bad smells don't so much food wastage, maybe. You can't smell if something's like just about to. Smell fine, I can't smell.

Yeah, there are some things I can smell. Down the whole of girls. Like perfume, I can very rarely smell perfume. Really? Yeah, really bad. We went to, when Mrs. You recommended me an aftershade, but I ended up buying. And now I'm learning that you have no sense to smell.

Is it so strong that it makes your eyes water every time you put it on? Smells like turpenties Why are you crying? She's basically the only ones I wear is because she recommends it, yeah So we were at the airport And I was out of Cologne so we were going to get some You know, they've got all the huge fucking cologne shops at the air

So if there's one thing you do in an airport You water play and the other thing is you buy perfume apparently Because you always have so many So we're there and the lady I like, I was trying to get some some new fragrance It was like Tom Ford related fragrance So the lady brings me a couple of strips and she sprays it on it. She's like, smell that.

And I'm practically shoving it up my nose and sniffing it. I can't smell a thing, like nothing. And she's getting stronger and stronger ones because she can't believe this is happening either. And in the end, I couldn't choose any. I had to get Mrs. F to choose it. I just, I literally can't smell it. I don't know why. It's common thing.

I did have a head injury when I was a child. Really? A bike fell on my head. You know, if you take the front wheel off the bike, yeah, a bicycle. If you take the front wheel of you've just got the forks. So this is one of the neighbors on our road where I grew up in Queens it was like a row of garages

and then a big common driveway that ran the length of the all the back of all these houses and then the backs of the houses facing the garages. So I would go and I knew all the neighbors I was knocking on doors and getting free food

and chatting to them and everything like kids do and in his garage he was getting something and there was a bike up on a wall and I just touched it and I must have touched it too hard it was resting on some like nails to hold it up

and he just slipped off and fell on my head forks first bang, I would have been about six years old and I remember walking back through the snow and the snow was like getting red with blood and my mum looked after me and everything but he was, you know, who's very upset obviously but yeah, I think... This sounds like some dystopian Russian nightmare.

Yeah, it was walking through the snow, the blood was turning the snow red like beetroot juice and the juice of the beetroot I get home my mother says Oh no Young Powell your skull is fractured in 17 place But I do not care

She gets a piece of plate She beats me She beat me around head for being so careless And she drinks the vodka And then they sent me to front line To fight Nazis I fight Nazis I come back from war

My family has been killed By Chairman Mao Who was in holiday In Russia They can't beat me anymore. No, and I cannot smell the burning of the dead bodies. So you cannot complain. Oh, man.

That was a little ramble. That went everywhere. Chairman Mao, what's going on this morning? I did, I drank and ate an awful lot yesterday, so I'm still, I'm still waking up. On April Fool's Day. I went out, went out for a big, big dinner with a whole bunch of e-sports people. Are you able to smell like those really hot, stinky farts that occasionally, um, One will produce.

Yeah, sadly. That somehow slips past the... How long have you been out away from your family for, incidentally, I was away... I was away... So out of the last, I think about 40-odd days, maybe 40, 45 days, I was away for about 30 of them. So I was basically away for...

Did you do Malta as well? I was in Malta, then I was in Stockholm, and then I was in Birmingham. Yeah, it's been... I've done three quite big events. It's been really very, very... busy. It's been good, but very tiring. So last night, we all went out for a lovely meal in central London, a place called Berenjack, which I thought was Bergerac, but no, it was Bergerac.

It was a restaurant in Soho. So you're at home. Everyone went home, but then you met up again since everyone's still in the UK, I guess. And because, you know, we don't get a chance to just hang out that often at work. Obviously, we're working and everyone's tired or preparing for the next day or whatever. This little get-together. It's one of the ones to follow-ask if you don't want. No, no, my friend Blitz. He's the coach of Team Liquid. I've known him for fucking ever. So why you just booked the restaurant for 10 of you or 20?

It was 18 of us. Wow. Yeah. Including, like, yeah, just loads of e-sports people. And Mrs. F came and everything. And it was lovely. So it was a great meal. It was about we ate.

We were there for about three and a half hours. They just kept bringing plates and plates of food out. It was like Persian cuisine. You lads would have loved a lot of vegetarian stuff. You lads would have absolutely. Loved it. It was so, so, so good. Recommend it. But, um, Deweeeper's favorite restaurant in London.

Duolipa. Is that true? She was not there, sadly. No duelieper. Where's, uh, where's dualieper? I was told this is her favorite. I came down here to see, uh, Duolipa. What's going on? She couldn't make it in it.

There is one in L.A. And there's also three in London. You're telling me, there's no dual deeper at the Berraject restaurant? What the fuck? Get the fuck out of it. Tony. I was, Paulie, you promise me

do a fucking leaper. I don't know, Tom. I don't know, Tom. I'm my brain dead today. I apologize, listeners. I'm going to say all kinds of weird shit today. I was up till three. I woke up at nine,

and I'm still slightly hung over and full of food. Took a monstrous poop this morning. Oh, my God. I'm big excited. I saw, do you know, I saw a dog take a poop the other day. And,

And don't ask me why. Like I saw him like getting ready to poop and I was like, oh, whatever. Like I just forgot to look away. Right. Men, like this like snaking python just like slid right out of his ass. He was only a small dog. The poo was bigger than him. Oh my God.

It was unbelievable. And then I was like, ooh. And then I looked at the owner and the owner was looking at us because my, me and my wife walked by and we watched this happen. And then we looked at the owner because we brought. both kind of went like, ugh. And then we looked at the owner and the owner was just looking at us with like these dead fucking eyes. Like I was like, oh. He's got to pick it up. Yeah, you got to pick it up. Yeah, you got to pick it up. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I saw that

I saw that a similar joke on telly. I was watching just terrestrial TV and they would, I think the joke was like that, you know, an animal of a certain size, you don't have to pick up the poo. Like, horses just shit in the, in the road. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's I don't know why. So here's the thing. I don't understand why. You can't really get in there with like a shovel and stuff. Dog owners. got to pick it up. Horses apparently don't have to pick it up. Exactly, but they must be a really...

What about small holes? Take your dog into the middle of the road and let him shit there and then you probably don't really need to pick it up. Horses don't tend to shit where people are walking, though. That's the thing. Horses won't shit on the sidewalk, you know? Yeah, well, you're not going to really be walking in the middle of the road. Yeah, but if you've got to cross the road,

now there's fucking horse shit everywhere. I suppose, yeah. No, I'm just saying it's like, for some reason, rich people, and most people that are riding horses around are rich. Yeah. Right? A lot of them. I'm not saying all of them.

There's not many poor people riding around on horses in the UK, I'd say. And they get a pass. They don't have to pick it up. If I rode a giant dog through the road. Horse shit and cow shit they use for fertilizer, though, on fields and stuff, right? Yeah, it's not as offensive. Dog shit is not used as fertilizer on anything. It's really bad.

It's just putrid shit that nobody wants to go near. Oh, Mabel. I've gone around the village and collected lots of dog shicks to put on in that girl. of something like, no, he goes. Oh, why have all the flowers died, baby? Why is the whole gas stinker dog shit? Oh, I didn't see this coming. I never anticipated this scenario.

I thought it was fertilizer. Yeah, no, there's animal, like dogs and cats, they're, they're effluvia. I think, like, horseshits, I mean, I agree. I don't think they should just be shitting on the road. it's not ideal, but I've still, I've been more annoyed with dog shit in my life than I have with horse shit for sure. Agreed. Like some dogs will just take like this tremendous, disgusting, like, runny shit like on the

sidewalk and it's there forever. Like I remember, it just was like it was smushed like people had accidentally stepped in it. And there was a shit. I'm not even kidding on the sidewalk by our house for like two months straight like every day. Trying to get the kids to school. It's like, watch out for that shit. like, we'll cross the road today because of that shit. Like, it was like a, you know, it was like a huge obstacle.

Like, it was just this. Yeah, it is. It's bad. People, this is why I think people not having, like, not, not picking up after their dogs. There is a fine. I don't know if anyone's ever actually been successfully prosecuted, but I would, I would like to see prison for people that don't pick up after their dogs. Yeah.

Prison or death. Either of those. I think those are both reasonable. I think, you know, I think, you know, the only thing that is, you know, the only thing that is though is that it would open up a lot of framing, you know, people would frame each other to try to get each other done in, you know, with such a, with such a hefty penalty attached to it. So here's what you have. You have body cams like for the police, but you have it on your dog's ass. Right. And you, at the end of the walk, you have to submit the footage. Right. So if the dog does a poop, you've got a

body cam style POV footage of it. Right. Bam, there you go. And then a view picking it up. What if you had like, What if there was like a tagging system where like, you know, you could you could detect when the dog took a shit and then it would assign like a code to a tag that you then had to put like on the bag with with the shit in it. And then each bin had some way of scanning the code, but also some way of measuring the weight of the shit just to ensure that the shit was disposed of. I'm back. Are you still talking about shit? Wait, wait. Where were you? Well, my, the Wi-Fi dropped out.

You've really missed out. You've missed out on a real treat, I can't believe that we still go. Oh, boy. Oh, man, we went off on one there, sorry. Before we continue, this message is sponsored by Raycon. With Mother's Day coming up, it's a great time to find a gift that actually fits into your mom's everyday life. Whether she's going for a morning walk, running every day. or talking on the phone, Raycon's essential open earbuds are a great option. Because they're open

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today. So sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com. Triforce, go to Shopify.com slash Triforce. That's Shopify.com slash Triforce. On with this show. So get this. Going on, the Birmingham event I was just out, the Brum, 2026. There were, there were several other events going on at the same time. There was a dream hack going on next door. There was some kind of big comic convention or something going on. But there was also the Arnold Schwarzenegger bodybuilding invitation or something. It was like some big competition. Oh, wow. Arnie was there.

Arnie was there. Arnie was there. I was told... In Birmingham. In Birmingham. So I was told, oh, no, Arnie doesn't come to these. I was like, oh, really? That's a shame, because his face is everywhere.

It's like, it's a big thing for him. There's loads of people. The mountain from Game of Thrones was there. Some of my colleagues saw him walking through the corridors of the NEC. It's called the Arnold Sports Festival. That thing, yeah. That's what it's called. Arnold Sports Festival.

He was there. The Premier. I had no idea. I would have absolutely given anything to go meet Arnie. My hero when I was a kid, I fucking loved him. You'd want to meet him now, though? I would have wanted to meet him like in his prime, you know, when he was like the, you know, that big 80s action here or whatever.

I don't know if I'd want to eat him now. Eat him. Eat him. This is him in his prime. How dare you? Well, right now. Isn't he like almost 80 years old? Yeah, but he's still doing it.

You know what I mean? I know. He's still doing it, man. But like, geez. Still doing it. Either way. I just like to say thank you for. the memories, dude.

Did he go? Apparently he did, yeah. But I didn't go because I didn't think I was going to be there. But the thing is, there was a odd overlap between people that were there for video games stuff, people that were there for bodybuilding, and quite a few of the big lads were like, all, I'm dead. This gigantic ogre of a man has spotted me. And he's like, remember you ban me from your Twitch hat?

I was like, no. It just kills me with a club or something. I've been spent the last four years balking up so I could kill you I love that the dedication of my four-year journey of a murder you

The dead man Come back in! This one time you were You called me a shit old daughter So I started working out me at so I could strangle you Exactly Yeah so that was fun Yeah he did go

That's amazing At the hotel one morning there was, like, we all had, at the hotel we were staying that was across the road from the arena, and there were people for the bodybuilding that were also staying there. So I'm having breakfast,

and there's like two lads sat at one of the other tables. This table is normally for six people. So three on one side, three on the other. They could only fit one on each side of this table, and they had like all this grub and everything. They were just fucking gigantic. These lads were so big. Yeah, it was funny.

Man, oh man. We've had similar situations where there's been similar, the cons going on. Sometimes it's really boring stuff, like a boiler con. Oh, we have concrete. Concrete 2026. I know. Concrete 2026 sounds amazing.

Oh, my God. It was not just concrete. It was also huge machines that do stuff with concrete. Like the one outside right now. Like the one you can hear outside right now. But also, we wondered whether John Concrete himself was going to be in attendance. Oh, your order from Concrete. on 2026 is arriving.

Oh my God. That's so funny. It's that sort of stuff though, isn't it? That's great. So one thing that happened to the wedding that I thought was funny was, you know,

it turns into like a kind of a crap 90s disco usually at the end for the last few hours, which is fine. And everyone, everyone, it's a little bit like Christmas Cracker. You know, it's bad,

but everyone can sort of get on with it regardless of what age they are. Yeah. And anyway, the macarena comes on and spontaneously everyone in the room re-remembers or knows the macarayana

right it's that kind of song everyone just falls into line really quickly and we're all doing the macarena now my partner's dad father of the groom I guess he didn't know the macarana dance and

what is this macarina they're all done exactly and he basically decided he's not he's not going to learn it, right? And it's not going to be that it's not going to go on that long. I'll do my own dance, thank you very much. Watch this. I'm going to pop and lock it all over this dance for.

Exactly. Doing the robot. Don't try to stop me. So that's what he started off doing. And then he realized that it was going on and on. And he had plenty of time to learn the dance. But it was almost like if he committed to doing it at any point, by the time he'd learned it, the song would have finished.

But little did he know, this was like a 10-minute version, it felt like. And it went on and on. And he was like John Travolta in the middle of the dance floor. That meme. He just got him out of there, like a pack of dogs. Oh, it was glorious. There is. There's the fucking guy that didn't do the macaroni.

Get it, boys. They didn't do this. Get it out. Oh, man. Oh, my God, I'm now looking through the UK Concrete Show. They're doing it. And they're doing the next one in 2027. Free entry.

Free entry. Can't believe it. They let just anyone in. They got any interesting new pouring systems for 2026? Sadly, I didn't get a chance to pop in. It was a very big day. There's a live demo zone. Oh, my gosh.

I wanted to know if they had things like, you know, what slogans would concrete companies have? Would it be, would they be kind of innuendos? Would it say things like guaranteed to keep you hard, stuff like that? You know, what kind of thing would you have? Poor baby, pour. Yeah. Like the pouring with concrete.

It's concrete. Yeah. It's tarmac have got a low carbon concrete system. Tire Creek have a recycled tire aggregate solution. We should make some plans, but nothing concrete. You know what I mean? That kind of stuff. Wow.

I do like, I mean, concrete, it's got, it's got certain. There's some pretty big, there's some pretty big heavy hitters in the concrete industry. I believe there's a French company that's very big. And there's also a very big Brazilian concrete concrete company. And I think between those two companies, they kind of got it all locked down. They got it on lockdown. It's hard for the average Joe to enter the market with their own concrete solution. Well, starting a concrete business.

I got some, I got some vegan concrete here, low carbon and everything, you know, organic concrete. It's made from dog poo. Made from dog poo that I've been collecting off my sidewalk. Recycled dog poo. Yeah. Yeah. So do you guys know what concrete is? Yeah, it's just a mix of sand, water and concrete powder, which is, I think, taken from limestone or something.

Is it baked limestone? I don't know. Go on. Give us the answer. It says it's something called Portland Cement is quite typically. Now, is cement a naturally occurring thing? What is cement? No, I think it's made.

Cement is a chemical substance used for construction that sets, hardens, and adheres to other materials. Yeah, it's got like a, like, there's like a chemical bonding agent in it somewhere that doesn't naturally occur. Oh. And then the rest of it is just, is just, uh, quarryable shit that you chuck into it. The Babylonians and Assyrians used bitumen, which was like asphalt or pitch to bind together burnt brick or alabaster slabs. In ancient Egypt, stone blocks were cemented together with a mortar made of sand. and burnt gypsum, which is basically plaster of Paris. So there you go.

Lime was used in Crete by the ancient Greeks. The Minoans, of course, used crushed pot shards, whatever a pot shirt is, as an artificial Pozzolan for hydraulic cement. God, it's taken me back to Concrete 2026 all this wonderful channel. Yeah, so it's amazing stuff. It's truly incredible. I would go, I would go cosplaying as Marcus Vitruvius Polio, who was, of course, one of the originators of concrete, as we all know back

of the day. Just a sexy version, though. I'd love it if you turned up as as like how many of concrete. Concrete. I meant Concord. I was the French engineer Louis V. Cat. Imagine the...

Oh, you've come as Louis V. Cat. Wonderful. And I'm like, do you haven't missed any details whatsoever? Oh, it's so clever. Like an anime convention, but for concrete fans. I wonder what the... I wonder what the main event was like, I wonder what like the big announcement would have been. That was John Concrete.

John Concrete himself was there. All right. No concrete come 2026. Boom. Oh, well, we've got all sorts going on today. He gets moved. He gets immediately food. Fuck you, John.

Fuck you, John. Fuck you, John. Get the fuck off the stage. Bless a lot. All right. It's just concrete gun 2026. We don't mock about. My wife was crushed back.

concrete, hill are John. Get out of here. Get out of here. That case was settled out of and caught off. Get around. Oh, God. So do you remember,

do you remember I did a bit of very long time ago about John Bavril, who was like another guy? Yeah, I remember, yeah. So there was a, we were playing Dota a few weeks ago, bumped into a team, and the guy that, one of the guys in the team was called John Bavril.

Nice. And I met him in Brum. Shut up. Yeah, he came up. Yeah, I'm serious. And then we played against this other UK stack. And they said to us at the start of the game, oh, hi, Pflax. I was like, hey, what's up?

And they said, we're going to Birmingham in a couple of weeks. I said, cool, me too. I said, if we beat you in this game, can we take a picture with you at Brum? And I said, yeah, of course. And we thrashed them. We really, really bad to beat them. So at the end of the game, I said, no photo. And we left the game.

So at Birmingham, these things. That's a joke. but it isn't, really. No, no photo. Fair's fair. That was the agree, but we made. No photo. It was funny that way anyway.

So at Brum, this lad comes up to me. He goes, oh, hi, Pufax, can I get a picture? I was like, yeah, yeah, of course. Take a picture. And then he reaches into his pocket and he pulls out a printout of the final screen where we'd beaten them. And he was like, we were the team that you said you wouldn't give a picture to because we didn't beat you. And I was like, okay, well done. And then another guy in the same stack got me.

So they kept asking me for pictures and then showing me this photo, uh, to prove that they got me. So, well done, lads. That's great. I love that. Yeah, that's funny. That sounds like a lot of fun. Job Bovro.

John Bovro. God. The British Institution. Yeah, it's e-sports. I was at Birmingham last weekend for Concrete Gunn, 26 of Johnson. There was some bloody e-sports going on next year. I couldn't believe it. I went and had a look at them.

They could bear his casual. Luke. A quick Luke. I was here for an oop and stick, 26 as well, which was a great job. God, let's change in OpenStick World. Well, in terms of, you know, some of Concrete Corn were like Bovril, who could stick. Sponsored by Concrete Corn.

The half-time break, you get your complimentary cup of Bovary. Right, now at the back is complimentary Bovril. Mr. Schwarzenegger, please just wait in line for Bovro like everybody else. We've got a packed agenda for you today. On the main stage, of course, a stick-and-oop contest, that's going on all day. Stage two, we've got Concrete Con, we'll be talking concrete.

Mrs. Concrete will be here, and apparently John Concrete himself will be turning off. Oh, that's... Boo! Fuck, no. Now, for those of you, without standing lawsuits against John Concrete, you'll have to wait till the end for the Q&A section.

He's the most problematic man of all time. For no reason. It's John Concrete. Oh. I've had a lot of trouble in my life. Concrete's been the only solid foundation. Everyone else has got the shit. My wife left me.

Killed my second wife. I ate the third and they've come free. Luckily, my house is very secure. It's made of concrete, in course. Don't ever get me out. It's like a bunker. Oh, God. I can depress you guys.

I can depress you guys. I've been playing a lot of. World of Watercraft recently. Oh my god. Oh, please. The new expansion's been really nice, actually. It's really fun. So you don't play crimson dessert?

No, I haven't played crimson dessert. I haven't played it yet either. I'm looking at it. Yeah. I've managed to, this is the first one I've not been involved in. What? The first expansion. Yeah.

Man, you're missing out. The 11th expansion. I've stayed away and I'm going to keep staying away. They've redone. They redone the sun well and everything. It's like blast from the past, baby. It's really. good. What did they do? They remembered the sun well. What does that mean? Well, they always told

everybody to and it looks like they did. It's like a big like magical pool of light with a beam that goes up into the sky. What can you do in it? It can kill you. Like demons come out of it from time to time. Demons always try to corrupt it. It's like the it's like, you know, it's like the thing that binds like the magical planet together. It's like honey to a bee or a bear or whatever. Demons are always trying to corrupt it. It's like obsessed all the time. Yeah.

I'm very worried about demons. Yeah, me too. You should be building something that's like super holy and gigantic like that. Yeah. And especially drawing so much attention to it, you know. Yeah, and going on about it. It's really, it's very naive. Yeah, they're always going on about it.

Anyway, would you like lose news? Wait, wait, first of all, first of all, let me say it. You guys probably missed it. The longest John's played the opening ceremony for the tournament that I did. Yeah, I heard you talking about it. Was it good? Yeah, it was so good. Was it good to see them?

Why have you seen them right before? They're great. No, I'm going to see them in May. Well, actually, no, I did. Me and Rabbs saw them in Bristol, either last year or the year before. But I'm going to see them in May because they're playing in London. Me and Mrs. F are going to go and say hi to the last. Yeah.

Sorry, carry on. Loose news. So fans, have you heard about this? a new, it was a new, like, you know that Willy Wonka Con that went horribly wrong in Glasgow? Oh, yeah, so good. There was a, there was one a, a Willie Wonka Con.

It was one in Florida. It wasn't like a convention. It was like a, one of those experiences where you're meant to pay 20 quid and your kids walk around, and it's like, they had a woman dressed up as an umpulumpur. It was a very famous picture of her looking super sad in front of like a, yes. You're not seen it, Sips.

No. Well, it was, it was, it was in Glasgow. There was this thing with the Willy Wonker experience and it was notoriously bad. It was basically an empty warehouse with like a few very half-assed decorations. I'm looking at Lewis's Barbie Dreamfest Con is Willy Wonka experience. And it's exactly the same. Oh my God.

Yeah, Sips, this image of this poor lady dressing in Lumpur. That went viral because it just looks so sad and her expression is like, perfect. Fucking kill me. Like that was that. So yeah. Barbie DreamfestCon, let's have a look at this. So, for $450 tickets, you go in and it looks...

$450? It's brutal. 450? You're kidding me. So it looks like they managed to scam about $2,000 out of people. Well, sometimes people would pay for a three-day ticket, though, and flew in from different states and stuff. And it was sort of advertised through AI and things like this. But I think, I don't know, it's, I think it's one of these things that just happens, isn't it,

where people don't quite have enough, it just don't put enough effort into it or don't run out of time or something. It must cost them a little bit to rent out that big space, though. Yeah. So if you paid $452 for the ticket, the VIP package, the prize that you got, the swag you got, was a small plastic brush and some hand sanitizer. That's it. I know.

Yeah. This is awful. That is terrible. So this was supposed to be the first festival dedicated to all things Barbie, right? And it promised a walk-in interactive dream house, an 80s disco roller rink, a marketplace, a bike course. You know, instead, you know, and then Barbie's a big deal. Like, you know, the movie was huge, right? Instead, it was a cardboard cutout of just the front of a pink house with a sad little square of turf for a lawn on a vast bare concrete floor.

Yeah, it looks like a, it looks like a. rescue center for like hurricane victims. Just awful. It really does. Holy God. My God. Awful. So yeah.

Random vendors, including one selling windows and doors. Incredible. I love that. It's like the opposite of the effort put in by, you know, something like Bista Village or even ConcreteCon. Yeah.

They've, you know, they've filled up that place with concrete themed experiences, you know. And Barbie Dreamfest is, I peered in through the front door of concrete con. I'd tell you what, first of all, you would not be sure of things to do there. There was a lot going on.

And there was a lot to do. You could go and have a look at all the JCBs that they had, all these huge diggers and stuff. You could get on them. There were all kinds of interactive things. I love that. They actually did stuff. I fucking hate the idea of ripping some poor people off just to put on some fake convention. Name and shade these companies.

Organizers just stopped booking them. Saw it out. Wasn't there like, what was it? Is it the fire festival or whatever? There's a music festival. Fire Fest. Oh, that was the best documentary. You haven't seen Fire Fest.

I haven't seen it now. Oh my God, Sips. This evening, set aside about an hour and a half. Watch it is the funniest thing. You can watch it with your wife. It will be you'll love it. Seriously, it is so good. Fire Festival.

You will love it. It's worth watching. That sounds good. Definitely. It's just so satisfied to see the awful influences tears, you know, when they are just having a horrible time. Oh, it's great. Anyway, next bit news. Twelve tons of Kit Katz were stolen in a chocolate host. Yeah, I heard about this. What a heist, man. There was a truck transporting 400,000 units of its new Kit Kat range that disappeared

somewhere between production and distribution. So, yeah, we've always encouraged people to have a break with Kit Kat, someone said, referring to its famous catchphrase, but it seems thieves have taken the message to literally and made a break with more than 12 tons of our chocolate, which means that, you know, if you're a Kit Kat lover and you want a very specific one of the new, the new, it's just an advert, but yeah, I don't know how you shift that, you know, use these market stores in London selling. You don't. You shift it into your belly over.

The course of many, many years. Free cat's forever. How long does it last? Oh, long time. How was that? Long ass time. Well, I had a, I had a oat bar. I brought with me an oat bar and a packet of crisps yesterday.

And the oat bar, when I ate it, it was all moldy inside. I was like, oh. Why did you eat a moldy thing? Well, I didn't know it was moldy. It was in day. Oh, that makes sense. It was, it was, it was kind of covered in like a downy. How was it?

Well, I did. Wait, wait, you did see it. mold on it? Well, I saw mold on it, and I thought, that's not mold. Maybe that's just like a bit of hair, downy hair on it or something. What? Even if there's hair on it? What's wrong with you? And then I showed, I showed my partner and they said, it's not moldy. And so I unpacked the whole and unwrapped the whole bar. And there was this big, like, green spider web of mold kind of like spreading over the whole bar. And I was like, that's definitely mold. So you could barely finish it from what you've described. Yeah, I chowd it down. What kind of crisps were you eating?

And then, what flavor? They were like oyster mushroom flavored. Sorry. Oyster mushroom? All right, move on. I'm so annoyed by this whole fucking thing. There better be some other loose news because I'm living. And then I was, my nice pack, I had my backup, my packet crisp, they had already popped open at some point. So I don't know how long they'd been open for.

So I was like, oh, to two snacks I brought with me. My favorite oyster mushroom. It is. No, just saying my life is a sad state of affairs. Kids, you've barely touched your oyster mushroom crisps. What's wrong? Very good. Check them out.

Moldy granola bar. Humans are going to the moon. They launched the moon yesterday. Yeah, I saw it. Yeah, I saw them go. They're on their way. Well, so they're not going to land on it this time. They're just doing a flyby to check it.

It's still there. A 10-day trip to go check it out, but not land on it. There's a hundred billion dollar program Artemis to put humans back on the lunar surface. They want to build a base there, apparently, which is a terrible. idea. They want to get stuff in and around the moon to stage for potentially getting people to Mars eventually. It's another terrible idea. It is weird because Artemis is the name of the Andy Weir book. Project Artemis. It's not a good book. It's not a good. That's one of his weaker ones. Project Hail Mary is the movies come out. You guys seen it? I haven't seen it yet. I read the book. I'm

looking forward to seeing it. I heard it was good. And I'm again, I'm looking forward to seen it. I'm trying to convince my partner. They tolerated watching the Martian with me. I'm looking at them now. I like the Martian. Thumbs up for Project Hailberry. They're shrugging. A very reluctant thumbs up. I like the Martian. I was pleasantly surprised by the Martian. I didn't think I would like it. It was a good movie. It was all right. It was a good movie. It was a good movie. It was a good movie. Yeah. Mushroom. The mushroom. The oyster mushroom. I love it. I'm taking my kids to go see the new Super Mario movie. Oh, it's meant to be very bad, brother.

It's meant to be, it's a one out of five movie. Like, it's been pan, absolutely paned. Yeah, really bad. I'll make sure that I get some good sleep. No, one of the reviews I read said it was like an AI generated film. That's how bad it was. Really? No way.

Oh, no. VV, VV bad. Well, something to look forward to. Yeah, enjoy. Two hours of sleep. I'll take it. So it is, it has 42% on Rotten Tomatoes. Jesus.

How did the first one fare? Much better. Right. I liked the first one. I thought it was pretty good. Again, I was surprised. I wasn't expecting much when I went to it. So the Super Mario Brothers movie got 59% on the tomato meter.

All right. So maybe not far off the first one. Well, worse somehow. Oh. Yeah. I thought the first one was fine. Here's a top critics review. While it's nowhere near as thrilling as turtle tipping your way to 128 lives,

The Super Mario Brothers movie is a colorful, albeit thinly plotted animated adventure that has about as many Nintendo's as Nintendo's. Wow. Very good. I should do my own reviews. Everything will be graded on how long I fell asleep for during the movie. Even really good, exciting movies, probably get a little micro nap in there. I give it 10 out of 10 micronaps. I couldn't tell you what the movie was about, but it seemed like everybody,

as with enjoyed it. These reviews are not fantastic. So Barry Hertz. Barry Hertz says, whereas a cosmic beast like Cthulhu at least possesses all-knowing knowledge, in addition to their sanity-breaking powers of terror, a horror like the Super Mario Galaxy movie retains no vaguely redeeming qualities. Oh my God.

Eli Freibode said it was an unpretentiously vapid cocktail of big budget technical mastery and lack of artistic ambition. This guy says it's a, Peter Bradshaw is a bland screen saver of a movie that's actually worse than AI. Wow. Jeez. That is bad. God. This is Roger Ebert, Clint Worthington says, this is not a movie to be scrutinized, but to allow beleaguered elder millennial dads to sit there,

tots down for a precious two hours, if you include the trailers, to get some much needed rest. There you go. There you go. You know, you can get that's what I'm looking for. Literally describing you taking your child to the movie, Sips. Yeah. So you can fall asleep. You've done this.

I've done this many times. You do this. Yeah. You take a child to the dig, so you can get a couple of hours of shot eye in the movie. It does happen. I don't even mean for it to happen most of the time. It just, you know, you sit down. You're like, you just close your eyes for a sec.

You know, I'll just rest my eyes for a sec. Next thing, you know, you've been out cold for like two hours. You wake up and everybody's left and there's an usher saying, sir, you must leave now. It's a movie ended five hours ago. Yeah. A joke-free sequel that doubles down on its own blandness. Well, that's not great a view of it. I'm really looking forward to going to this now.

We're going to do a project Hail Mary. Okay, cool. I'm really excited because I read the book a couple of years ago and I talked about it. I'm sure I talked about it. Yeah, it's really good. It's sweet. It's very sweet. It's very well constructed.

It's like, you know, each, it really is a classic page turn. Like every chapter ends on a cliffhanger. Yeah. It's a nice easy read. It's quite, and it's got quite a sweet sort of, it's about first contact between him and this alien. So it's done quite sweetly. It's not a spoiler.

It's like the whole, it's in the trailer. I know. But in the book, it's a spoiler. Yeah, right. You're not supposed to. Yeah. Well, yeah, fair enough. I'll let you off.

I'll let you off. Shit. Oh, yeah. He got in trouble, Andy Weir, this week. for having a pop at Star Trek. Yeah. He was saying that modern Star Trek is shit. I don't think that's a fucking that hard of a take.

Honestly, it's pretty common take. I know. I kind of agree. And also, what was the deal with Timothy Shalabay getting so much flack for calling out opera and ballet? He was totally right. He was just like dismissed these two terrible art forms. I'm going out there to say.

I'm actually with him. I'm with Shalabay that opera and ballet are a load of rank. Why does he get so much shit from everyone? I don't know, because the weird thing is, who is, who is, who is defending opera and ballet? These, these art forms purely exist for the extremely wealthy. Like, it's not, it's not very often that you get some, some, some working class family going to take in the opera. Because it costs like hundreds of pounds a ticket and everybody's all, it's all to be seen to be seen there. It's a frivol.

Yeah, it's rubbish. I know, I hate it. So no. Apologies opera and ballet fans. to the podcast and say that I'm a huge fan. I'm a big opera head. Fuck off you are. I think you don't give a shit about it.

That's another thing that I can turn up to and fall asleep at. I love it. You're playing world to walk after watching the Super Barrier Galaxy movie. That's how I judge how good things are. Can I fall asleep during it? Yes. Oh, 100% during the ballet, I imagine. It's quite relaxing.

Ballet and opera easy. Yeah, God. You get all those quiet moments as well, don't you? Sorry to opera and ballet fans if that annoys you. but we really I mean I honestly the old you know that the old Star Trek

is brilliant P Flacks because you've got a whole podcast about it you've done season one which is not the best season really much his podcast is about the next generation yeah which you know to true grassroots trekkies is

is not the one right it's the OG yeah no no they love it they like the original one with the next gen is very well regarded Very well-reged. TNG is the one. And then DS9 is what we're got as well. DS9 is apparently,

if you're a really hardcore Star Trek fan, you should generally say DS9 is the best one. I was sort of like, the original series is the meme. It's more of a soap opera. Yeah, the original series is like the meme one that everybody knows, but is actually trash if you watch it.

You have like, you have like, Trekkies and you have like whatever Star Wars fans are called and stuff, and like Taylor Swift fans are called Swifties and stuff. like that. I've been trying to get this to work for some time now, but I really want for 9-inch nail fans to be called ninnies. To be like as ninis. I've been floating it out there often, just, you know, hoping that it catches on. Did you contact Trent Rezner himself? I wouldn't dare. Dear Mr. Resner, I wouldn't dare. Just a thought, a suggestion for your fan base to call themselves ninnees. Ninnies. Ninnies. It's such a nice.

Never contact me again, motherfucker. Thanks for your reply, Trent. I will bear that in mind for future. No photo. See you at Ninnies 2027, hopefully. Ninnikon. It's a Danish Tales convention. Minnickon, 20207.

Oh, I love that. I love that. Organised by the people that did this Barbie Dream Fest. Same vibes. Yeah, yeah. It's just a bunch of nails everywhere. All they had was a bunch of not. inch nails all over the floor. That was Ninnikon.

Ninnikon. I fucking love that. Please, in 2026 or possibly 2027, can we make Ninnikon happen? Can we make it? Can we make the dream become a reality? That would be so good. Did you know, Andy, Andy, Andy Weir worked for Blizzard, six. Did he? It connects. It went well. There you go. He worked to Warcraft 2, Tides of Darkness. Oh, well, come hard for being bad at coding. Oh, no.

Tides of Darkness was such a good one, too, remember? Tides of Darkness. No one remembers two. I think everybody remembers three. TriForce Live. TriForce Live had a ridiculous number of people telling me we should do it, so I'm going to have to look into it. Right, okay.

All right. Didn't Tom Hazel do a live thing with the D&D thing? Yes. Yeah, they did do a whole bunch. Yeah, it was really good. I don't know if we could be. That's good. to Tom Hazel, don't you?

But the thing is, you went to this and it was good. Ours will probably not be good, though. How are we going to make it good? What do you mean? We'll just have P-Flex do some stupid voices for an hour. No, no, no. I'm going to plan the whole thing out. I've been thinking about this for two years.

I've got, it'll be, I'm not going to say it's going to be amazing, but I will say it's going to be different. It's not just going to be us talking. It's not just going to be us talking. It's going to be all kinds of bits. It's going to be audience interaction and stuff. You lads don't want. anything to do with the planning of it. I understand that. I'll handle. What kind of venue are we

going to choose to do it in? Wembley. I don't know. What's a good idea? All right, I've got to go. I've got to check out of this Airbnb. All right. Thank you, everyone for listening. We'll see you all next time. See you. Goodbye.