Triforce! - Creating Yogscast 2.0 | Triforce #365

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

Triforce! Episode 365! Pyrion's come up with a grand plan to buy the Yogscast (after watching the TommyInnit 100 Questions podcast) and has big ideas on how to create an enshittified Yogscast 2.0, we talk about our (very negative) personal experience with meme coins and cryptocurrency and Lewis starts Lews News way too early. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Hello everyone. Welcome to the TriForce podcast. Period. There's a big reverses. That's me back of my ass into the TriForce podcast. Oh my God. We're ready to receive, you caboose.

Look out! Perion's ass is arriving. We're here again. Oh, feeling great. Can I say something at the top of the podcast, please? At the very top. If you must, yeah. I must.

I went to. The opera. Oh, yeah. Do you guys remember the mailbag? So this was a mailbag a good couple of months ago. Lillian emailed in and was like, you said opera's shit. Have you ever seen one?

And you said you hadn't seen one. Come and see one. I'm in one. It's an operetta, actually. It's Gilbert and Sullivan. I can get you and Mrs. F tickets. Come along. And I was like,

do you know what? I am a man of my word. And if you challenged my opinion, I'm happy for that to be. So I went along. It was fucking great. I loved it. It was really,

really, really good. Okay. It was really good. I was surprised because I thought I'm going to hate this. Exactly. You're not just pandering to the lovely listener who was in it. No, we had a really good evening. So there were a few things.

It was in the basement of a pub. Now, you might think that that sounds more like the kind of strip club where you put a pound in a pint glass, but this was a classy pub. All the people in there looked like they could have been at a proper theatre or whatever, but it just happened to be in the basement of a pub. It's in, it's near Barron's court. Well, already this is sounding like the kind of place

you like going. Exactly. I was like, this is fine. But it was on a really hot day a couple of weeks ago, or last week or whatever. It was fucking boiling and there was no air conditioning in the basement. Everyone was sweating. At the halftime interval, they opened a door and everybody burst out

back into the pub and onto the streets like, like, oh, like that. But it was really, it was good. It was like sort of done in the rounds. So the stage was, there's no elevated stage. It's just a bit of the, it's basically the pub basement with the pillars and everything. The bit in the middle was the stage. The music was just a lad on a keyboard in the audience.

And yeah, it was, I'd say we had some of the best seats in the house. So thank you to Lillian for those tickets. I've got to say hello to her afterwards. She's a brilliant singer. It was really, really good. It was Ayalamp day, which is something I've never heard of, which is basically a sort of satire on the House of Lords and everything. It was really, really good.

Nice. I was thoroughly, thoroughly entertained. So, well done. That's cool. This doesn't sound like my perception. This sounds like street theater. Yeah. Or like something really kind of.

kind of like low-key, intimate, not kind of Royal Albert Hall, H. No, exactly. Exactly. You're not wearing those opera glasses, are you to like see someone in the distance? And it also, it was like an hour and 45 minutes or something. I think the actual productions are more like three hours and everything's much longer. So this was my vibe. You know, if anyone said to me, do you like opera?

I think I'll lean in and say, mate, I like street opera. That's my like street opera. Because I'm from the streets. Opera should be from the streets. So I like that. Small production, more intimate. Really good. Yeah. Nice.

I was just like, this does not sound like you're breaking the barriers. Okay. And I guess that's what theatre's all about. Exactly. You're swerping your expectations. You're just kicking them down. Yeah. Yeah.

Smashing down barriers. Did you have something to drink there? Was everyone dressed up nice? How many people were in there? Like 30, 50, 100? No, no. I would say that probably, I would guess, around 50 to 60 people. Right.

Okay, that's pretty, pretty intimate. I think 50 would probably be the guess that I would buy money on. I'm imagining it, I'm imagining you guys are like in like the setting for like, you know, like an illegal cockfighting ring. Yeah, it could have been. There's like fences inside, like those chain link fences like indoors and stuff. And there's like a lot of people. Jason Statham's there. Yeah.

Yeah. People aren't like dressed like they're going out for a night at the opera, you know. No, no. It was it was very much at the. pub. This is like the opposite of that. Like, when you said you went down in a pub basement, I was thinking Fight Club. Yeah.

And then as soon as you, and it was like fight opera. It's like a parody. This is like a sketch. But then, I will say, it was so much of a pub theatre that you could hear the hand dryer in the toilet any time anyone went to the toilet in the pub. Oh, I love that. It was like it was like that. So it really felt like we kind of snuck into this pub to do some opera.

It was a bit like that street countdown. episode of IT Crown. It was kind of like, it was really, it was really, really good. But it's like a super small company and they've just, they, from what Lillian told me,

they basically, I think it was two or three weeks ago, they met up and put this production together and then we watched it and it was like amazing. They were all so, so good. Genuinely funny. Great performers. Yeah, excellent.

Recommend you get the chance to see some street opera, get in there. Very good. So how long does this work for? Right? Like, imagine, because these are already talented guys

and they deserve bigger audiences, but how does it scale up? They're all students. They're all students. I think pretty much everyone there was a student. No, I think it's all experience. It's all theater experience. Because if you think about it,

when you start off working and anything... I mean, they're not making big bucks off of it, are they? If there's only 50 people paying ticket prices, you know. The point is it's not about... I'm not going to say it's just for the art, right? But A, it is. Performance and art is important like that, regardless of just the fucking business...

It's pure art. All right, wait a minute, where's the bottom line on this thing? I was actually thinking about you the other day as some kind of an evil businessman, because I watched your Tommy in it 100 questions with Lewis thing. And I thought, when we should put together a leveraged buyout of the Yogs cast, well, that's very popular these days with the tech bros and the finance pros. I've actually come up with a five-point plan. Right.

If you want to hear about this. You want to talk about money? You want to put art to the side? You want to talk about money. Let's do that. Well, let's talk about like the pod, me being on Tommy's. podcast. Yeah, let's do that.

And then we'll come back. What did you? What did you think? I thought, obviously, I've known you a very long time and I've worked with you and I've seen, I've been there with you for things like interviews and stuff. And I've heard all this stuff before, a lot of it. So talking about the yogs and how you got there and how YouTube's changed. I feel like these are conversations that we've had, you and I, you know, a dinner or whatever,

or just hanging out, we'll chat about how things have changed. Because this is something that we think about and talk about a lot. I think it's nice that a wider audience gets to hear that stuff, because it is interesting. I mean, you're a very interesting guy. You've been there from the beginning of this kind of YouTube creator thing, and with gaming especially, and for Minecraft and everything. Both of you have been big parts of that. So it was interesting to hear it.

I think Tommy did a good job. I thought he was going to be like a kind of a Mimi interviewer, but he was not. He was really good. So, yeah, quite mature for his age, I'd say, in the way he did it. And yeah, it was impressed. How old is he? 15. It's 22.

Right. Yeah, but he's young. He's young. He's just one of those guys that, like I was thinking he doesn't have the dead behind the eyes look that a lot of good YouTubers have. Like a lot of like Mr. Beast looks dead behind the eyes, right? Tommy, and it doesn't. Tommy, it looks like a guy that's still engaged. So I think that's really nice.

So yeah, I thought it was good. He does give off genuinely interested energy. And I don't know, like, Obviously, it was a long interview actually on the day that was cut down, you know, and they kept the things that were more would sell it, you know, in a sense, like the thumbnail and the title is very clickbaity. And that was something we talked about for like a minute, you know, out of the- basis of YouTube.

Two hours, isn't it? I mean, you understand that as a content creator. Of course. You're not going to put the most typical thing up. You're going to put the big moment up, and that's going to grab people. And your big moment was I wanted to quit YouTube. That was the big moment. It's not the only time I have.

No, sure. You know, I mean, sometimes it's like anything. I wanted to quit this podcast before. Have you actually? No. No, I'm just going to say, this is the least taxing thing. I feel like that's the big selling point of this podcast. I thought that we all wanted to quit it.

And I thought it did like as well as it does because we're so reluctant to do it all three of us. I thought that was the big selling point. I thought that was the whole thing. I thought that was the whole thing. I thought that was the whole thing. I thought we didn't want to be here. We didn't want to be here. And that's what people love so much about it.

But my mom always tells me to like that I'm doing, because I saw my mom and dad just think my dad's been in hospital for a while. Yeah. I think I can talk about it now because he's just got out. Right. And. Congrats to him. Yeah.

Broke him out. Yeah. And yeah, the NHS, I think, did a really bang up job eventually. Right. It was, look, it's always peak. It's always good and bad. bad with the treatment, I think. I'd say any large organization is going to be that.

But he's, he's, they cut his dick off and they gave him tits, but he's still my dad. He's fine. Now he's doing baseball opera. He's doing better than he's ever done. So,

no, he's, we went around there yesterday for his birthday. He's 89th birthday. Oh, God, Christ. And he's,

we brought him lunch and we played a little bit of Patonk in the garden. He was sort of hobbling around. So it was, I don't know, it was nice to see him and nice for him to be doing well. I know people are interested. I know I'm not going to really, and my family don't really want me to talk about them on the podcast, so I'm not going to say much more. Other than that, like, you know, I'm really relieved, I guess, because he's been ill for a long time.

And I think having a family member that you care about being ill, does stress you out. Yeah, it's been stressful for, you know, everyone. And I think sometimes you don't realize why you'll stress. out or why you're at a high anxiety level than usual. Well, why should I be? You know, I'm not really worried about it. Of course, you actually are. And it's kind of buried under this.

You're in the office and you're strangling gerbils and you're like, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? And why am I so erect whilst doing it as well? It's weird. Exactly. So there's always something. Real life kind of leaks in sometimes, you know, it's bound to. You know, we're people, we're people with lives.

Things happen. And those things will affect your performance in that podcast that you don't want to be in. Well, exactly. So obviously, I do run the Yorzcast and I do do YouTube. I'm a content creator and I do some streams. And I do, I help organize other streams. All right. And stuff like, Jesus Christ.

But like of all the things I'm doing that I'm not cutting this podcast, you know, that's not, that's not going. My mom always says to me, you've got to find something to not do. Right. Actually, I just take on more things every day. Especially this house. This has been a huge undertaking. The roof men. House is a big stress.

Big stress creator for sure. And it's one thing after another as well. It's never... Well, look, I can tell you how bad it is. That truck backing up is headed for your place. The queue is from Twitter to Keyneship. That's how long the queue in. Yeah.

And they're all... I've got shut out. It's all just different kinds of lawnmower. I've had some great tradies in, really. Trades? It feels like a racist term. I don't know it's not. It does, doesn't it?

You fucking tradie. That's what you're supposed to call them. Fucking tradie, cunt. How dare you. Lewis can't be great. Wow. Okay, well, maybe I'll bleep that. Like everything else in that podcast was bleeped.

Just bleep Trady and it will seem like... Yeah, it sounds like you'll sound like you're saying something. It's like it'll sound like you're saying something. It's like it will be more. Don't do that. No, don't do that. All right, my business plan for a leveraged buyout of the Yogs, right? Okay, wow, let's hear it.

So I'm going to get, this is very popular these days with the finance kids. Finance bros. You don't come in and like buy a company with money that you've got. You borrow money to buy the company and then that money is owed by the company you've just bought. If anybody doesn't know what it is. So some people defend it and say, it's just like a mortgage. But I think it's a piece of shit. And there's all kinds of videos you can watch about why it's terrible.

But for the Yogs, it's going to be different. And here's why it's because of my five-point plan. Point one, we need to let some people go. All right, Simon and Lewis, out the door. Right. Right. We need younger people. Clearing house.

Clearing house. Clearing house. Whoever the youngest five people that are in the Yogs or work in the office will take those five. That's our next five. Everyone else can go. Those five will learn because they'll be cheap. So that's going to cut down a lot.

Sarah. Yeah, we'll get Sarah, keep Sarah. A lot of eggs. So you're cutting from the top and from the bottom. Yeah. Interesting. No, I thought you were, I thought you were saying, we're keeping anyone at the bottom as long as you're young.

Yeah. We keep the youngest people that we got. The five young. I thought you said you were getting, oh, the five youngest stay, right? Sorry, I thought you were looking to get rid of the five young. It makes sense to get rid of the five youngest. Exactly. No, we keep them.

Spiff's a baby. Spiff's young. But he's not like in the yogs. We'd need to buy him out because obviously you've got Spiffcoe. That's a whole separate thing. Once we've leveraged buyout the Yogs... If you compare the Yogscast to Spivco, Spiffco is like, you know, Apple.

It's very tough. It's like the basement opera. Exactly. So we need to build towards that. We need a lot of money if we're going to include Spiff in. Which is why we're going to have to sell off things. Jingle Jam clearly could be our biggest earner. The only charity I want to work with now is the shareholders.

So we get rid of this charity angle. Yeah. We keep it going. But the quote unquote, We put air quotes around any mention of charity. Open it up to foreign investment. Exactly. So now that money comes into the yachts right into our pockets.

You are right. So basically at the moment, Jingle Jam, we make sure that 100% of donations minus payment fees go to the charities. It's entirely volunteer run, and that's obviously very powerful. But when you see this happens more often than you think, charity events on places like Steam, and also even the starter,

humble bundle when they got bought out by a big company, they shifted their attitude to ensuring that they get, they can run a charity event, but they get a cut of it. Steam won't do a charity event without keeping their cut. So there is this charity, you know, charity can be for the company as well.

And I like your moxy P-Flax because that would really make us a lot of money. Jingle Jam makes a hell of a lot of money. Exactly. And if the Yogscasts were taking some of it, Yeah. We would be floating around our yachts. I'm saying 100% goes to us. Well, maybe we'll do like 5%.

Maybe we'll do 5% to charity for tax purposes. So maybe we could just do it like Captain Tom did, or whatever, where we get to a spa. It was his daughter that took over. Imagine, how about everyone in the Yostas gets a hot tub? Right. In their guard. Like a proper one or like one of those inflatable ones? That's a paddling pool you're thinking of.

No, no, you can get inflatable hot tubs now. They're a lot cheaper than getting like a proper one installed. Wow. Never heard of it. People do opt for them as well. But if I'm getting a hot tub, I want the real deal. Like I want to like a. Oh, you'll get the real deal.

I want like a Canadian hot tub, you know. Like I want one of those like really expensive ones. I mean, I will say this, Sips. I think that we're all far too old to remain in this New York's coast. Are we out? We're out. Dude, we're all, Neil, I'm 50. You guys are in your mid-40s or early 40s.

Right. So we're out. We're out. But then again, P-Flex, I'm trying to think of people who are actually in their 20s. As my severance. As your retirement. Well, I mean, Boba's relatively young. Sarah, right?

Dav is, I think, 30. Step him up. Harry's 30-31. Step him up. Right. And. Yeah, okay. Sarah, Harry.

Who's young in the office? Yeah, I'm writing this down. No one. They're all old now. My eldest did work experience there. Okay, yes. Oh, I see where this is going. Hey, it's just the way of the cookie crumble, all right?

It's just the way the cards fell. I had no say here. I knew this was leading to something. Moving on to point three, rebrand. What is a yogs anyway? It doesn't mean anything. Rhymes with jobs and dogs are terrible. Everybody knows that.

What are they? So here's what we're going to go for. Do you know what everyone actually likes cats? Well, I... No, I hate cats. I asked AI, okay? And I genuinely did to come up with three new names for the Yogs. And they come up with some brilliant stuff, don't they?

It came up with Yogs Media, super boring and safe. That is pretty boring. Oh, yes. I think that's probably copy. And neon jester gaming. Now, you got Yogi and Boo-boo stealing all the picnic baskets forever in the Yogiverse. Neon jester gaming, where that's come from. but Gemini thought that that was a good idea.

Have you ever done a video with a character called the Neon Jester? Is that a thing? No, but it's very modern, isn't it? Neon Jester Gaming. Neon Jester Gaming. Never heard of it. It's like cyberpunk. Clowns are big on TikTok.

They are. I fucking hate clowns, but anyway. Clowns and get rid of dogs. Yeah. Not cats. Neon Jester gaming. NJG. So random, but maybe it could work.

Could. We're going to print. doesn't mean nothing. Vanos don't mean nothing. We're going to protect the brand. They're going to massive. They're massive. It sounds like you're getting rid of the brand, though.

I know, because I know that Sips is on board with this. Protect our assets, I should have said, really. Protect our assets because we have thieves out there stealing diggy diggy hole. Those wind rose lads, right? The Belgian theme park. Oh, yeah. Sparkles. Lawsuit.

Lawsuit. Lawsuit. That's how we're going to make a big amount of the money in the new company. Lawsuit. These are the, the, absolute worst ideas I've ever heard and I'm really impressed that you managed to come up with them. Thank you. Five is refinancing. We're going to sell, sell, sell everything. We sell everything. We're going to liquidate. You're going to refinance. I'm going to liquidate everything.

You're going to take other people's finance and re it into our pockets. Right. That is that is the one gem of a good idea amongst the bad one. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, that's my five point plan. I look forward to your thoughts. Thank you. Oh, no. my god it's certainly some ideas here isn't it that's for damn sure yeah

yeah well look it is something I would like to do I think all you're talking there gave me actual rabies and I think I'm dying did you mention neuromancer Lewis or something to do with cyberspace just then you said something about that

yeah neon gestic gaming it sounds like it sounds like it could be cyberpunk brandable Did you say that because you just saw the trailer for Neuromancer, the new Neuromancer TV series on Apple? I didn't. I just live in the cyberpunk world. I've been working on some cyberpunk stuff for my game, actually. Oh, so you've heard of the book Neuromancer, though.

Oh, yeah, I read it about 10 years ago. Right, of course. It's hard to get through. It's not, yeah, it's very much of its time. So they've announced, I saw this today, a trailer for a Neuromancer TV series on Apple TV. And I remember this book when I was younger. I read it in the 80s, like when I was a kid, I thought, holy shit, this is the coolest thing ever. I'm worried that the way that it talks about the internet and cyberspace and jacking in

is going to seem dated because it was such an influential book. It's sort of one of the creators, one of the founding texts, if you like, of the whole cyberpunk genre. Isn't it going to seem kind of dated in a way? Do you know what I mean? Well, but the problem is all of the, everything is, June was, Lord of Rings was, like, you know, all of these huge foundation was, which is a huge great show. TV. They were and are very dated. But you've got some very smart sci-fi fans adapting them. And some of these have been really, really well adapted. I agree. I think we just have to cross our fingers.

Hale Mary project was a good adaptation. Of course, of a new book. Yeah, yeah. But I think sci-fi is done, is generally done well. And with some reference. And he did say, I'm jacking in. I'll see you on the other side. And they talked about cyberspace stuff. And I thought, okay. I think maybe jacking off is not like the most common term for jacking off anymore. No, no, it's not even about that. People say gooning. Oh, I don't know. But I mean, basically, what I'm saying is like, yeah, I'm cooom and.

I'm just saying that I don't know if, like, for example, that this book, like he said, June was adapted. A lot of it was changed. Like an interpretation of a classic text, I think is fine in much the same way that people will reinterpret Macbeth when they put that on or whatever. Although these works are maybe not considered in that way in a few hundred years' time if people are still making June adaptations and, you know, neuromancer adaptations, maybe they will see it in that kind of way as some kind of, you know, genre-creating work, which it was.

But he also did the difference engine, which basically was the foundation of, like, steampunk. Like, this guy's books and genre-defining works are crazy. But the thing is, any time you take that, anytime you take that original text, if you don't modernize it of it, it feels day. because it's been so influential, if that makes sense. That's how I see it. 100%. I think it's, then again, in the same way that Star Wars, the new versions of it, have kept

that original look. You have the control panels and the computers and stuff. They almost like just gloss over it in the universe that there isn't an internet they can use. They can't look stuff up on Wikipedia. And no one notices because it's kind of like a space cowboy epic, you know. And so I think Neuromancer will be similar to that. It will be weird, sure, but I think it's so different to what we got that it is like a parallel universe or a look into, it's not set on Earth, you know? I'm not too worried about it.

I think it's going to be great. Okay. And yeah, like, so now I got this five-point plan of to re-oh, it's got into your mind, doesn't it? Yeah. It's really just a list of things not to do, isn't it? It's expanding in his mind right now. It's really just like a technical spreading everywhere

in his Five warnings In his brain right now I just think You know We were talking about We talk often about The inshittification of things

Yeah And it is so It's just evident Isn't it In everything So I think I think in order to Keep up with the times

We need to inshittify I think otherwise We'll be left behind And the race To be the shitties thing Well there's a couple of things That you missed out on Oh I'm sorry

Of ways to shittify the Eustace more. We could do a crypto. Yeah. Do a pump or become a crypto. Do a rug pull. We've been joking about it for years.

But really, it feels like that space is just so not what was promised, is it? What? Crypto. The world of crypto. The world of crypto has not transformed our planet, has it.

It has. It was exactly what it promised. It was a way to make money quick. It was just another way to gamble. Yeah, that's all it is. Just another mechanism to screw people over. And all the people that were able to do that are loving it. And they can still keep doing. We complained about AI, like using all this power and water and shit.

That was what Bitcoin was doing for ages. No one gave a fuck. Everyone was like, get on board. I need my fake money. I don't know if like tons of people got on board for that, though. Like, it wasn't. I think it was still not very popular at the time. It was much like NFTs, what happened to NFTs?

Yeah, what happened to those? It's all just dog shit, isn't it? It's all just ways to fuck people over. Yeah. And all it is, is really clever people at the top have realized that they can just skim money off the planet if you come up with something that promises easy wins and get rich quick. It's always been that way. Yes.

So when Bitcoin, all the early guys that got into Bitcoin, looked like the biggest fucking grifter's going because they immediately saw this is the snake oil of the 21st century. Yes. And then NFTs came along. and out snake oiled them. Bored apes. People were paying a fortune for fucking apes. Yeah.

It's insane. I know people that sold things that they owned as NFTs, like Dota people. Yeah. There was a guy who sold his fucking hair as an NFT. It's ludicrous. His hair. Yes, his fucking hair.

His IRA hair. He tried to sell it as some kind of NFT. Right. It's insane. And so when you say it wasn't what was promised, it wasn't advertised to Harvard. Well, I was going to say, that wasn't you. It wasn't you.

It was not me. I didn't say it, but now I've said it. My hair is far beyond closing. My mate, he fucking, some... That's why he's bald. That's why Flacks is a fucking idiot. He convinced him all of his hair. He's convinced him to sell his fucking air.

He's sold his hair. He's now it's off in the cloud, isn't it? It's a fungible hair. Non-fund-al. Someone else is fucking... They, like, hacked his brain, and they fucking stole his hair, didn't they? They fucking took his hair right out of his wallet

Right off of his bombs His fucking his hair's out there Somewhere on the incident He's trying to get it back But, you know He's fucking, it's on a hard drive In a landfill He's digging around for his fucking hair

Man hunts for hair in landfill I'm not giving up The bold bloke Standing on a pile of garbage It's on a hard drive in there somewhere Yeah, it's just dog shit I mean, there was, so, God, I don't know how deep into the weeds we want to get on this, but there was a guy I don't want to name his name because he's out of the Dota scene now. But he fell victim to this, one of these coin scam things.

Right. Have I told you guys this story? Was it the half to one? You don't even have to one or is it one of the Trump coins? You don't even have to full victim to these things. You can just have your wallet hacked or lose everything overnight for no reason. He was not a victim of a rug bull. He was a part of a rug bull.

Right. He was the willing... He was the willing fool that the rug pullers were using as their sort of court jester to... Yeah. So, fuck it. I'll just tell the whole story. There was a... He's just a goober.

There was a guy who was kicked out of the Dota scene called Toby, and he was a complete cunt and an awful, awful person, and he's gone. What reminded me of this was you were talking about, you know, similar yog stuff with Tommy and everything. We knew this years before it happened, and, you know, we couldn't do anything about it. What about Toby? Yeah. You knew he was a dodgy fella, but you couldn't really, you know, publicly out him or like, you know, get to the people who mattered and do anything, you know.

Yeah, it was one of those things where you need someone to come forward and be the first person to say, this is happening. And that has to come from a victim. Because if you don't have a victim coming forward and saying this, you just have someone accusing another person. And that's not enough. You need a victim to come forward. All we had was like swirling rumors, but enough to be. Because we all thought he was a bit of a creep from the get-go. Like I said this at the time that it all came out.

I had known for a couple of years that this was something that might have happened because one of his, a friend of mine messaged me about someone, one of his victims, and they passed on all this messages to me and everything. And the shameful thing that I did was I kept working with him, even though I thought he was a creep. I kept my distance personally, but I would still work at events that he was working at. I didn't tell anybody. So that was like a big thing for me at the time that I was embarrassed about, very ashamed of. But he was also a fucking moron. And one of the, the story I'm trying to tell is that he was approached by some dodgy crypto guys to come up with this thing that we called

Tobycoin. Right. And Tobycoin was a, I think it was Ethereum backed. It might have been Ethereum backed, was a token that each of us in the Dota sort of, you know, talent scene, we're going to have our own coin backed by this, this crypto. So there was going to be Toby coin. There's going to be flax coin. There was going to be slacks coin. There's going to be OD coin. And in order to advertise the reason that we would have this coin is that when people invested in flax coin, as the value went up,

I would use some of the money of that coin, the value of that coin, to put on events. Now, let me finish the story before we point out why that's a terrible idea. You instinctively know why it's a terrible idea. So I went to York University. I know a few of the guys at York University, and they were into Dota and Toby said to them, hey, you guys have a TV production module. Why don't you use them to put on our stupid show?

We'll pay for it. It'll be good experience for them. You guys have the studio and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So me and Slack and a bunch of other people and some other YouTubers go to York and we go to do this show. I can't remember what it's called now, actually. It was like a rip off one of those UK panel shows where the host is like me into the guess. Right, right. But it was like gaming themed.

So Toby was the host, and he's a terrible host because he doesn't know how to do banter, and he's not funny, and he's really, really, really awkward. So the show starts, again, I may have spoken about this before. Well played. Yeah, I think it was well played. So the show starts, and he's introducing the guests, and he comes to me, and it's meant to be like Jimmy Carr introducing, you know, Sean, what was his name? Sean Locke.

Sean Locke, where he sort of has a bit of banter with him. So it starts off and Toby goes, our next guest is Pyrion Flacks, his big fucking bald old cunt and he's shit and he's a fucking idiot and he's an absolute prick. You tell him with the story, I laughed so much for that. That's already funnier than Jimmy Coy.

No one laughed. No one laughed. The audience was dead silent. And I was just like, hi. Because what can you say? There was no bans. He thought banter was. oh yeah, I know what you do with banter.

You just insult people, but you don't. That's not funny to just say, here's Pyrion. He's bold and he's fucking old and he's shit and he's a complete twat and I fucking hate in this period. It's like, all right, hi. See, me and Sims aren't dying. I know, but it's like, that doesn't work on a show. It works. You're quite good at delivery, though, as well.

It might be funny if it was done well. But the way he did it was not funny. Hopefully they announce you that way when we do a live try. Try Force thing if we ever do one. I love that. I'm going to write this down and we're going to get the let's get ready to rumble guy to announce it all as well. Ladies and gentlemen, he's bald, he's stupid, he's fucking ugly. He's got bad breath.

He's a piece of shit in real life. That was like the way the show's died. He's going to be canceled. limitedly because he's done some dodgy stuff oh my god so it turns out the great sadness of our time though

is that that works just fine apparently for people like Andrew Tate they're still more famous than ever but for being terrible people I know isn't that amazing so fuck but so the plan was that we would have our coin

people would invest it and the value would go because they invested it, and then we would take the money and put it into producing this stuff. Now, the obvious error with that... Sorry, one second. There was... There were members of the Yogs cast in Well Played. Yeah, me, I presume. You.

Oh, just you. Which is... Well Played is made in collaboration with a cryptocurrency crowdfunding platform called Best Meta. Yeah. That's what it's called, apparently. Was. It was a massive ripple, obviously. Okay.

So, I mean, they put the business plan up on Reddit, and people tore it apart. Like, for instance, they had a pie chart, and the numbers didn't add up to, like, 100 in the pie chart, or they had a slice of the chart that was, like, said 53%, but on the chart, it looked like 87%. It was, like, much bigger than it should have been. It was like, it was all just very scammy publicity stuff.

I've probably still got the fucking proposal somewhere. But the main thing is, why would you invest in something to see the value go up along with other investors to then only have me pull the money out and put on some dog shit, like, well-played? Like, you're not investing in anything. That's just a terrible investment. Yeah.

So it was awful. Yeah. That's the, that's the appeal, though, right? You get a bunch of money in and then everybody's like, yeah, we're going to make so much money. Well played is going to be a sensation and stuff. And then you're already on the train laughing with the cigar in your mouth. Exactly.

I mean, all the bags of money in the caboose. Exactly. Yeah. It's just, oh, my gosh. I think the difference is between, you could look at it. very easily and say this is innocent in a sense that, you know, all he was trying to do was raise a bit of money to make some content, right?

But actually, that's not what crypto ever is or was. If you wanted to do that, you could just do a Kickstarter or say, we need 100 grand to raise this much money or fund it in some other way. Or just find sponsorship or something like, yeah, something like that, yeah. But this kind of basing it at the bottom of this kind of gambling on finance,

you know, It's just not the way to do it. What about pulling like a bunch of porn sites together and creating groin coin? Or if that's already used, loin coin. No? Loin coin. Hot loin coin coin coin. Oh my God.

Boing coin. That's going to be my big rug pool. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get them all together. I'm going to really sell up groin coin. Groin coin. I love groin coin. And then we're going to pull the rug.

right out from under all of them. Oh man. Groy, that's great because it also sort of implies that the angle is up, you know? Yes. That's true. Oh, man.

Online is going up just like our boners. Keep it up. Yeah. Oh, my God. That is fucking awful. It's crazy how many shitty people there are in our industry. I know. Isn't it wild?

I mean, we've had a fair share in-house and then you hear about people in other people's houses. I mean, there's been a lot. Twitch that's, you know, on like streaming and stuff, you find out about new ones every day. There's always these like weird lawsuits in the background and people backstabbing each other and leaking Discord DMs and stuff like that. You just think it's crazy. When we started, well, like coming back to Lewis having his interview and talking about the early days of YouTube and stuff like that, I don't remember there being like much drama at all really. It was just, you know, people, I guess people are just finding their feet back then. But now it's more of a thing.

It's more of a thing that people are aware of that it's a thing that can be gamed and stuff as well. So it attracts those types of people too, I suppose, which maybe leads to drama. But it's interesting. I think it's a combination of things, isn't it? I think it's one people start feeling like they can get away with it or they have got away with it or they deserve it or it's normal or like that's just what celebrities do or I don't know. Like there's people are weird and they get put into a weird headspace where they're surrounded by sycophants. In the same way that Trump, you know, every time he makes a not joke, everyone around him laugh. He's basically, yeah, like the emperor with no clothes and is in this dream world.

And I think a lot of people get into that sort of same. I don't know, they just, they justify things to themselves that are not okay to do. It's very strange. Anyway, let's, I've got lose news here. Oh, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You got like a 20 minutes worth of lose news? Yeah, I got loads of it. Oh, have you actually?

Right, but listen, if we burn through lose news and this was still like 10 minutes or so, we want to go. I'm not fucking stop it. I'm not fucking stop. No, no. He's just going to fill the air with whatever he's got. Damn right. We'll loop, we'll look back around to refinancing again. Right. So. Yeah, no, that was good. That was good. We should do that. So in greedy corporate news, Rooscape makers Jagex. Yeah. Tried selling one-time use party balloons in Roonescape. Right. For guess how much? $6,000. $12, $12 each for single use.

Well, that's not so bad. It's better than $6,000 at least. It's true. That is a lot better than, yeah, Jill, well, I'm not so offended by it. I set the bar really high so that everything seems acceptable after that. Yeah. So obviously the community responded with the kind of ununified fury that only MMO RPG players can muster. Right.

The devs back down immediately, proving. that even in 2026, the customer is always right, especially when the customer is a level 183 gnome with a dragon scimitar. Yeah, you don't want to mess. I'll get your manager out here. I'm a level 183 gnome. I'm sorry, sir. We'll be right with you.

What, well, I wonder what the thought, I know, well, I mean, I'm wondering what the thought process was behind that. I mean, obviously, they, they saw like some big dollar signs. Mula. Coming up over the horizon with this big idea. but like, realistically, who thought that this was ever going to work, I wonder? Do you remember at the start of the podcast when I did the pretend five-point business plan for the future of the Yogs?

The very serious five-point business plan that you did? Those guys. The people for whom that would actually have a kernel of truth. This stuff is always, there's two things, isn't it? It's gradual and then it's sudden, right? And it's the same thing here. They probably have gradually been adding this kind of thing. for a long time and pushing the limits of what their audience will stand.

And it's the same thing with Games Workshop prices or what Disney do. Specifically just seems like such a, like, I think anyone would say like that's a bad idea and wouldn't be well received by like an online community sort of thing. Yeah, but they just didn't have that. Who's making the decision to do that? Yeah. People that aren't gamers, people that don't play games. I guess.

They think these companies get to a certain point where originally the people involved in making the game, running the game, the game were all gamers themselves, all understood the space, all understood what it was like to be a gamer, understood the audience. And then in comes some fucking NBA cunt. And they're like, we gotta optimize. What happens to the person that's come up with this really terrible idea that's been so- They get promoted? Passionately rejected by the community as well.

They get promoted. They just get promoted. Yeah, they get promoted. So even though it wasn't implemented, they still benefit off the back of it. They'll just put it on their fucking LinkedIn, spearheaded initiative, blah, blah, stupid, stupid dumb community didn't like my amazing ideas. Because any actual business person would look at it and go, I like your moxie kid, you're hired. Oh, certainly that's what I've been led to believe would happen.

Right, okay. Well, it's very common that this sort of stuff happens, and they just, they will charge what they can get away with. Right. And I think that they know their audience, Jack X. It's not played by children. The children are playing Roblox, you know. Lewis, you say that, but Rootscape's big, right? It's still going.

It's Roodscape's huge, but it's played by people who are grown up. It's released in 2001. Yeah, yeah. It's ancient. It's huge. Rootscape is still huge. How do they make money, though? As always.

How do they make money? Well, in game by things like fucking party balloons. It was like a party balloons. That's like that. said that but that got shot down so that's clearly not but they have 500 how are we going to make money now? Our one big idea has been shot down

Christ, they're based in Milton. Yeah, they're based in Milton. Yeah, they're British. The same thing with, I mean, complaining about games, I was just complaining about games workshop, but they've done a similar thing with, like, just for example, like the codex is for the new edition. Like, imagine, I don't know if you know much about this,

but if you play like a Warhammer miniatures game, like an army, you might play like, I don't know, Eldar or whatever. In order to sort of get the rules, you can get them online, which cost the same amount, or you can buy the Codex, the Army book, right? It's a book that comes with your army. And it's just got the rules in it for what your stuff does. It's just a series of tables, really, spreadsheets that you can download if you want from other sites. You're not supposed to be able to. But, you know, this book currently costs 38 pounds per army. And we'll be out of date in a year.

And it's always being this way. And it's kind of astonished me always that it's such a high price for something which should get you into the hobby, right? Like there's a book. How much do books cost? How much does a book cost? Paperback or hardback? 50p at the library if you want to buy a previously loved book.

20 quid, I'd say, for a hardback. 25. It's 38. I know. And you need one for each of your armies. And if you've got a, like if you play a branch of the army, like, you know, the Black Templars or whatever, that's another $22. Quid to get a supplement, you know. So I don't know.

It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, they will charge what the market can bear. And it's just always the way it's done. And it sucks. Matt, bad, mad. So, um, so Jagex do make money off of, uh, ruinscape and old school runescape through, uh, memberships. Oh, it's a subscription. Oh, it's a subscription.

Oh, it's just a subscription. Oh, it's just a subscription. Oh, they also have in-game stock bonds, microtransactions. It has one million subscribers in 2007. 11 years after launch the company touted 200 million accounts. That's crazy. So they were bought by CVC Capital Partners, a Jersey-based private equity and investment advisory firm with 205 billion euros in assets. you do

I don't know I've never heard of it What do you know? What's it called again? What's I don't know anything about that one CVC Oh right

Anything Anyway My initials In gaming In gaming news Christopher The Vicenzo

Liglovis We took 10 minutes to do this one I've got 10 more Sorry Now you know how I feel About the fucking Mailbaggy piece This is why I don't come up

With any ideas For the podcast Because I know I'll never be able To An Idaho family Has broken a world record for a board game,

which you might have heard of. Monopoly. I think I made a movie of. Hungry, hungry hippos. Made by Hasbro. It's, the true competitive gaming scene was hiding in the toy aisle

all along. So it's an Idaho record breaker and his family have done this. This guy called David Rush. He is a serial Guinness World Record breaker. He's done 200.

He's done 200. He's done 200 titles. Right. And with the help of his wife, Jennifer, and his son's Jeremy and Peter, they've cleared. Can we add, can we give his wife the title Long Suffering? Long suffering. Long suffering wife, Jennifer. With his long suffering wife, Jennifer.

And his long suffering children, Jeremy and Peter, they completed a game of hungry, hungry hippos in a time of only 4.8 seconds. Right. Now that apparently. You just smash the buttons really quick. I mean, that's it. It's apparently fast. All you do is get all four people. to just hammer the hell out of the lever.

Job done. Like, what do you mean? Complete a game? Actually, it says here, okay. So that was the previous record, 4.8 seconds. But it says here, you must use an unmodified license game on a flat table. Your hands start flat. Most critically, you are only allowed to use one finger to trigger your hippo.

If you swap fingers, the attempt is dead. If you drop a ball off the edge, you got to start over. So the family managed defeat with a time of 3.75 seconds. God. I'm sure there's a video. I don't have it. Who cares? I do.

That is news. God bless that family. They're so brave. God, okay, great. Pop culture, MySpace is planning a comeback. Oh, no, finally. No, no. The current owners have announced plans to relaunch the platform again built around

features that originally made it a cultural phenomenon. So if you don't succeed, try again. and if you still don't succeed, keep trying about 15 more times. We're bringing it back. We had a big windfall for groin coin recently. It's really paid off big time. Exactly. I mean, honestly, just just, it's a website that had its time and now it's gone.

You kind of bring it back. Well, young people aren't going to have a nostalgia for MySpace. It's only people that are like millennials, maybe. You're wrong. People are playing Wow Classic and Roonscape Ogy Roos. Yeah, they are. People love this old shit. I think League of Legends, they've done like a 90s.

I think League Legends had like a thing recently, I think, I'm not sure. A vanilla League of legends. Yeah. Where it's like, you know, you can play it like it was 15 years ago with like five champions or whatever. Are the people playing it? 16. Are you going to create a new audience of Zunas? No.

Funnily enough, Wow, Classic is appeals to both because you get people who are like, they weren't around for like these big, you know, releases or whatever. And so they get to potentially experience the pure brindiness. Yeah, the things that we experience just naturally because we were alive when these things happened and came out or whatever, they now get the experience as well. And it's true. It's true. Boba has been playing Wow Classic extensively and sending me screenshots and note and trying to

get me back into it. Should I read you the the the chat we've been having? It's been like, it's me, it's basically her telling me to, you get into it and me like trying to like avoid like try and say, please don't. I'm like, I'm a recovering addict. People are constantly like, don't want to do this? And I'm like, I did that. I used to spend all my weekends doing that when I was like a drug dealer.

And I just got out of, I was like 24 at the time. I should have been out. doing other things. And I was just grading Blackwing layer. That's what I'm doing now. And being screamed up by an angry Italian man. Yeah, I know. I played it.

I was screamed up by an angry, I think he was Norwegian man. Yeah. Like I look back now and I think, I spent five years playing World of Warcraft. There were no content around it. It was just me playing it in my spare time. I'd be doing it. It was so immersive. It was, it was so emirming for and picking up.

It sucked me in. Yeah. It did. It was so fulfilling. It was very addictive. It was very addictive. It was very. God, what a waste of time.

I was fully jacked into cyberspace. He was jacked right in. Nice. It was fully relaxing in a way. Just the solo grinding of killing mocks. Yeah, it was like Soma, the drug from Brave New World. It was like Soma. Have you just read that?

Aldous Huxley. No, I did read it recently actually. It was just like that. It was like a pacifying, mild hallucinogen that just put me in a warm, cuddly, blanket and just, you know, my time and everything else went out of my mind. I was just, I was happy, I think. Oh, gosh, happier times. Do you know, it's funny, he's saying that, I think there are two very different visions.

There are two very different to the future. You've got Brave New World, which is Soma, like you said. 1984, there's a line. I don't know if it's in the book because I only read part of the book. I got bored. I watched the movie instead, the one with John Hurt. There's a line in it where there. Where the guy says to Winston, the guy, it's sort of torturing him, says,

if you want a vision of the future, picture a boot stamping on a human face forever. Yeah. A great line. That is one version of the future. The other version is, I think if you want a vision of the future, imagine grinding molten core, drooling forever. That is the other way it could go is just people playing games and dribbling. Trying to get their, trying to get their Tier 1 Paladin set in Moulton Corp. Exactly. That's it.

Day after day after day. It goes either way. Either way, we're oppressed. The people are being oppressed either by having their free time replaced with nonsense or by just being brutally beaten until they submit. What else have we got in Lose News? News has got to have that one about the guy who lost his million dollar lottery ticket in the dump. No?

And they and people found it. I mean, that's just boring stuff. Right, okay. Boring, boring. There's two Spider-Man pieces of news. Right. A cinema in Columbia had to be evacuated after a screening of Spider-Man brand new day after an overpowering stench filled the room.

No culprit was identified leaving the audience with a great unresolved mystery of whether the villain was a super villain, a cinema snack or simply one very committed attendee. Or multiple, maybe. Wait, wait, is that the extent of that story? Forming together a stench. That's combined stench. Do you reckon it's viral marketing for the new Spider-Man? Not really.

It doesn't need it. You know, it's already in two days. I love how you followed up. I love how you followed up the million-dollar lost ticket in the dump being boring with that story. That was a stroke of genius. A story with no resolution. Find nothing to it.

You do the lost, you do Luce Sips's news. tell me this find that story about the lost ticket right now. Tell me that. Meanwhile, the other piece of Spider-Man

news is BMW have been put in Spider-Man ads on car dashboards despite promising that dashboards would not have ads on them. Sorry,

do you mean like printed onto the dashboard or like the electronic? No, like these electric dashboards. Hey, what's up everybody? Thanks for listening to Sips News. I got a really good one this week for you. It's a waste workers help

winner find binned one million euro lottery ticket in Italy. Oh, you should see this picture. There's so much garbage. They must have had to sift through it for hours and hours, but they found it. They actually helped him find it. This story is nothing short of miraculous. There you go. Recounting the story, he said the mixup happened because the non-payable message appears

when the prize is too high to be paid out by the shop. That's why he threw it out. But luckily it was a Sunday. Otherwise, the load would have all. already ended up in landfill, the boss told Italian broadcaster TGCOM 24. Wow. So it just shows, don't throw out your lottery tickets, no matter how how you are.

So he took it into the shop and it said not payable. So he just chucked it away thinking, oh, this is a dud, but it was, it turned out. Oh, you must be a dud. I did not win this week. I throw it away. Oh no. Oh no, mamma me. I did not win.

He's got like the Mario sound when he gets it by his shell. He just throws it away. Anyway, he's been reunited with his one million euro ticket. And I wonder if the guys that found it for him were just like, oh, here you go. And then just kind of waiting like an extra couple of seconds. Like, yeah, where's my taste? Where's my little taste? Yes, I give you a thank you and I shake.

Thank you so much. Shake at a hand. I shake your hand. I say thank you. Don't amyg me, please. Don't demag me. Your hands are so filthy, I'm not shake. He's a plumber.

He knows how to get down. He knows how to get himself out of jams. He knows how to get down and dirty. Mario's been covered in shit tons of times, surely. He knows how to walk past certain lands and stuff as well. That's what I'd like. Anyway, sorry, sorry for hijacking your news segment. That's all right.

I just figured that that would be on there. It's one. It sounded like a lose news that one. It did sound shit enough to be in next week's right. Right. Maybe I'm too. The lose news is delayed. Then this podcast is delayed.

And then, you know, by the time this is, you know, this is very old news. Yeah, people always complain that we're like really out of touch and talking about old topics. But it's because of our recording schedule. Actually, this is like hot off the press right now. But you're listening to this maybe a couple months later. If we get really. behind, then it's really really up to date. But if we've

actually been organized, it's really out of day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have been organized recently as well. A steakhouse in Florida have offered a clothing optional nude dining experience. You can pay $250 per man, $150

bucks per woman. For a steak dinner and they're doing it on the first Monday of every month. It's a classy soire at steakhouse in Hollywood, Florida. Hollywood, Florida. Wow.

I always find with these things and maybe, maybe not through like any kind of experience, but I always just think that like any time they say, oh, fully nude beach or oh, fully nude steakhouse or fully, you know, carry on camping where everybody is nude at the camp or whatever, it's never the people that you want to see nude there. It's always people that you absolutely do not ever want to see nude. Also, it's never a nude super prancing around on full display and you just think... Nude hot pot. It's like, no thanks.

No. I think that a lot of people take this and you've just taken it from the wrong angle, Sips. It's not about you seeing new people. It's very much is about me seeing nude people. It's not. No, no, it's not. Why else am I going there? If that's the selling point.

So other people can see you nude. Nobody wants to see me nude. This is what I'm saying, though. I don't want to see these people. nude and I'm one of those people that nobody wants to see nude as well. So who is this for? Like what, like, it's people who want other people, for four you, for those flashes, it's for flashes and for people who, who wants to show off their cocks to other people or whatever.

I don't know what it is. Do you know what, I've got a question. Yeah. So what is the deal, right? In some places, if you go into like a sauna or a hot tub or one of those hot baths or whatever, in a lot of countries, they're like, you've got to be naked. Right. Why?

What's going on there? I don't want to be naked. I want to just wear a swimsuit. Don't make me take all my clothes on just to sit in a hot room with you. They're very jodgy about it as well, aren't they? Yeah, well, what's the deal? I don't care of as tradition. Used to be tradition for women to keep their mouths shut.

We go rid of that one. We want people to know that when they see me out and about in a swimsuit, it's taken a lot to get me out there in my swimsuit, you know? Like, just to have even less on than I currently have would be, oh my God. Like it's... No one wants to see it. Nobody wants to see that. When it was really hot the last couple of weeks, sometimes.

Sometimes when I'm eating dinner, I'm sitting there in just my shorts. I take my top off because the oven's so hot. I've been cooking for an hour. Top off. And the kids are like, Dad, could you put a top of like, no, because I'm sweating bullets as it is. They're like, they've got used to it. But they hate it.

But it's like, I've got no choice. I'm sweating too much. Just, it's 30 or degrees in my kitchen. In my mind, I take my shirt off and I'm like, oh, here we go. It's Baywatch. And in reality, I got hair growing on my back. There should not be hair there. Like, I got like,

No one wants to see my dad at all. Like, you name it. Like, I'm sagging. Like, I, I'm, I'm nearly 50 years old. So, like, it's not, it's, it's not pretty. It's not looking good under, under those clothes. Do you know, do you know who really fucked us over? Do you know who really fucked us over?

The whole dad bod thing few years ago, when Chris Pratt was still seemingly quite a chill dude and popular and had a bit of a dad bod, he was, he was our flagship guy. Then, of course, he starts getting big, fucking gets in shape. And it turns out he's a bit of a prick. Right. So now it's like, great. Now DadBods are out as well. Thanks, Chris. Yeah. Bell-end.

Not only was he ripped, but also, you know, some realistic DadBod standards. I always felt like Alfie Moon was kind of holding it down for DadBods for a while there as one. This is a reference. Even I might be too old for. Al-Fey Moon. You got to see the guy. What, the Guy in Eastenders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to see him every once in a while. Shane ring something. Yeah, yeah, they'll catch an angle of them.

And, you know, he's always got like these dress shirts on, but sometimes he wears like a like a leather jacket. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh man, he looks like he's in pretty good shape. And like I think probably he is like in okay shape, considering his age or whatever. But every once in a while, you just get like an angle of them. And there is some serious dad bought underneath those clothes. Do you watch EastEnders?

No, I'm not actively, no. I don't sit down to watch it. It is on in my house, though. It is watched in my house. So your wife is a East Enders watcher. I happen to catch it. It's incredible because I don't pay much attention to it, but every once in a while I'll sit down and I'll be like, oh, is this person still with this person? No, no, that person, like I can have a full conversation around it.

Like, I know what's going on, like generally in the show somehow, having never really watched it before. Yeah, it's kind of like local gossip. It is. Yeah, it's like you almost feel like these are people like that you know in your life, but they're obviously not. I don't think I've watched an episode since I left home Does your wife... Your wife doesn't watch it?

No. No, right. There must be things your wife watches though and you comment on. You know, she's watching some... Yeah, she was watching something on the other day. She watches some...

I'll be honest with you. Mrs. F watches quite good quality television. She's not like some people's wives who watch garbage. She watches good quality... I'm not mentioned any names. I don't know why you're laughing. It's seriously...

I can't wait to hear what this high-quality program you're watching. I watch a lot of shit that my partner would very much judge me for. So it does. Last night, she was watching a show called Margo's Got Money Worries. It's got L fanning in, Michelle Pfeiffer. She watches a lot of the series you get on like streaming services. We don't really watch live telly much at all.

You don't watch live tele. No, we watched 24 hours of police custody. We'll watch that whenever any of one of those comes out. Have you been watching murder 24-7 recently? The BBC one? It's okay, isn't it? It's missing something that 24 hours has. It's all right.

Man, the new season's been really good. Yeah, it's all right. It's okay. Yeah, it's fine. We watch a little bit of that. But, yeah, in general, she, you know, she watched it. I love Interfax. Hold on a second.

I'll ask her what the last three TV shows that she's watching. Love, what would you say in the last series? Get her to sing, wind the bobbin up again as well. Vampire Lestat. Can't speak for that. It's excellent. Wittows Bay. We already spoke.

Vampire Lestat is a, is like a BBC show. Is it not? I don't know. She watched the vampire. Lestat, she watched Margo's it's either money worries, money troubles, I can't remember. And the other one that she mentioned

that I've forgotten already in between sitting down. But yeah, she's not not soap fan, not a reality TV show fan, doesn't watch any of that stuff. She's a classy bitch. Vampire Lestat, it's not got great reviews,

but this one of them, this one says, Lestat's mother, the vampire Gabriela, is a jealous, lusty milth with a boss lady bob and garbled Italian accent. I think I have to watch this show

Don't you remember the original movie with I think it had Tom Cruise in it And a very young God, what was her? Who was it? Chris Dunst when she was in it, right? Tom Cruise. Yeah, I think he was the vampire list out and people laughed at it

because the thing is with that Kirsten Dunst was a vampire but she was like, she was literally the archetype for that whole anime, the tiny child who's sexualized because she's actually a thousand-year-old demon. It was the same deal in the vampire list out, where she was like 12 or something.

I can imagine Kirsten Dunds doing that suddenly the light comes on and she goes, you like to do it like the vampire movies. I love that. I can imagine you're doing that. And Tom Cruise funnily enough as well. Like imagine Tom Cruise, you open the door to like the Scientology Center

and he just like, he just like, he's searching at you. I can see. in my mind. Yeah. That's the first thing I thought of when you mentioned Kirsten Dunst as a vampire.

Like immediately I just thought of that. Oh my God. Very, very powerful visual. Yeah, I should make a vampire movie actually with all these powerful visuals I have floating around. You do it, me. Do it. What about EastEnders, but they're all vampires?

That'd be cool. Oh, my God. Big crossover? Or it's like Beastenders. And they're all just different mythological creatures. I mean, they kind of are beasts in that show. So, like, without the crossover. Yeah, but I want Phil to be like a minor tour, right?

And then, I don't know, whichever of the women that is inexplicably has shagged everyone in the square, but is like absolutely hideous. Yeah, Sharon. She's like a siren of some kind, right? So she's just tempts all these men to sleep with her, but she's actually a hideous old hag. Kathy Beale, yeah. Yeah, all of those characters. Dot Cotton is like just a mummy. A mummy.

She's dead. Yeah, but she can come back with a mummy. Ian Beale is like some little fucking goblin creature He's still going He's still going to jail actually Ian Beal Oh, in real life? No, in this show Somebody over with his car

Yeah I laugh Because it's funny but it's not really I guess So Three more pieces of news You ready for them? Oh my God, yeah sorry sorry gosh A clothing brand called

Herc Leon have released the Herc shirt version 5.0, a t-shirt that allegedly stays odor-free for over 30 days of daily wear without washing. They could use that at the Spider-Man screening in wherever. That sounds like it could have solved the problem. This shirt is either the future of sustainable fashion or a very expensive way to find out that your nose has been lying to you. I feel like this doesn't mean you don't have to wash under it. I guess it has some hydrophobic code. Is this the future that we're going to create clothing that we don't even have to wash? We could just get away with not washing.

Come on. It's just wiped down. I mean, you can't wear. I would be happy enough with clothing that you can wear into the shower that you can wash at the same time as washing yourself, but then it will like instantly dry the minute you leave the shower. That's what my mate does at events. Yeah, that's great. He will wear clothes into the shower, wash, and then get out and just drip dry in his clothes.

Yeah, but let's see that. The drip drawing I'm not down with. I don't like that. I want some aspect of magic to come in and just fully, fully dry, like in the blink of an eye, my clothes. He's just stood on his balcony and the clothes dry like, like a statue on him. And he's just like, you know, he can't bend his knees or elbows. Okay, listen to this. You walk into a shower, fully clothed.

You wash. It cleans your body. It cleans your clothes, but also the shower water has all of the nutrients and everything you need in it. So you can like drink the water and it like fills you up and and sustains your life and everything. You could get so many things done during a shower. What do you mean to sustain is your life? You wouldn't need to eat any meals or anything for the rest of the day. You just drink like a bit of the shower water and you're good.

You know, like it gives you everything you need. You hate food so much. You just want to. I don't hate food so much. No, no, I don't hate food so much. I just think like, you know, for time saving, you know, I think if you wanted to like save some shave off a couple of minutes here and there off of like some of the things that you do in your day to like free you up to do other stuff, for example.

What are you doing? What is the other stuff you're doing? I'm not saying I'm doing or I'm just saying this is the idea is for time saving, right? You can kill like so many birds with like one stone, you know, you take a shower. That time saving is going to be used for. Think of like, think of like, think of the need. system in the Sims, okay? You know, like when you walk into the shower and the bar turns green for just hygiene?

Okay, imagine we walk into the shower and every bar turns green, like all of your bars. But practically, what does this mean? Is it mean, Huell is coming out of your shower? Yeah, pretty much. You're washing yourself with sewers would be like. Hot soapy heel, delicious, nutritious, and cleansing. And then you're done. But you know what this would be?

All this would be is more hours for you to work. That's all it would be. Not the fun work. The Amazon factories and the data centers. This is why I'm going to pitch it to the tech bros. Get Jeff on the line. Jeff. Yeah, exactly.

They're going to love this. He's got that installed already. They will love this. They will love this idea. It could also pipe in the blood of the young because they like that as well. God. Yeah. Imagine piping in the blood of the young as well.

You could get almost like another bar added to your sim style HUD of bars. You can get vampire. They're saying the Sims? Yeah, crazy. You probably can. Yeah, there's been a DLC, I'm sure. I think there has been a vampire. God, there has to have been one.

Vampires, the Sims. So, good stuff. That is such a good idea, of course. I know you guys love all my ideas, but this one's got to be one of the best one. I thought I was the weirdest one out of all of us. No, I think you still are. Don't worry. Don't worry about that.

I think you're still. I think you're fighting me for the standing. I think the difference is Lulu that he's only talking about it, whereas I could imagine you've said, I've installed a new shower this week. I've hired 30 men to research this one. I don't know where it came from. Yeah. All right. So not finally, two more.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There is a trend that started at a San Jose anime convention. I don't know if you remember this, where cosplayers soaked their feet in fruit juice. and then bottled it and sold it off. A bunch of people got sick. Yes. That trend has now spread to China and there's videos all over the place showing patrons holding

cosplayers feet up so the juice can drip off them into their mouths. Somewhere health inspectors are reading this and reaching for something stronger than fruit juice. Thank you. Cocaine. That is. Maybe that's a new idea for Clarkson on his farm. He can drip fruit juice from an orchard. Off his feet.

Off his feet. And then Charlie's there saying, What have you done this? Um, what's wrong with selling fruit juice that's come from my foot, Charlie? From my foot. Yeah. My foot.

Charlie's just having an aneurism. Next week. ambulance My food My foot My food Make sure we have an aneurism So

And finally Workers have begun Clearing thousands of gallons of rancid fish sauce That was spilled On in an abandoned

plant In St Mary's Newfoundland Ending Ending a disgusting smell that would haunt the town since the early 2000s. So there was an abandoned...

Again, somewhere, a food scientist is currently reading this and thinking, I could probably still use that. Yeah, there's... Don't waste that! Someone's going to drink that. So yeah, Rottingfish sauce has been there for 25 years, thinking up the whole town, and they've began clearing. it and finally.

It's amazing it hasn't broken down in that time on its own. You'd think like all of the raccoons and stuff would have gone in and sipped it all up, wouldn't you? Well, like Jimothy, the viral raccoon. That's probably how we got like that. Poor lad.

Yeah. Holy crap. That is our podcast. Thank you, everyone. That was a laugh riot. God, it was sure. It certainly was, Lewis. It certainly was.

It certainly was. It really was, wasn't it, Flacks? I enjoyed that one. I loved it. I'm not going to see you, lads, for a few weeks, because I'm off to China. Yeah, we're going to do a mailbag tomorrow, though. Have a good time. When you're in China, don't let anyone lick fruit juice off your feet.

You want to do a mailbag tomorrow? Well, I thought we were going to. Yeah, we kind of need to, right? We should get a mailbag in the bank. Oh, hell yeah. All right. Get a bag in the bag. I got tons of emails.

All right. Good. Great. I can send out how nervous he is. He has no emails. Nice. I'm sorry. I've got a time.

Yeah. I've got to get up. I've got to. I've got to leave it. I don't know at least two. God, I've got to find one. Thank you. I've got tons.

We love me. Bye, bye.