Triforce! - Dealing with House Anxiety | Triforce #344

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Triforce! Episode 344! Lewis is in the middle of his big house move (and it's VERY stressful), Pyion went to see the korean death metal band (Madman's Esprit) live and we talk about the healthy ways to approach anxiety and depression. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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We are here in 2026. Oh, my God. Good God. It is quite a time to be alive. And I am neck deep in moving house. Oh, man. That is distracting me from everything else. One of the worst experiences ever, basically.

Well, you know, they say nothing could prepare you for the death of a relative, right? Yeah. And like, that's true. But, oh, my God, I think I'd rather one of my relatives had died. It might take the edge off. Jesus. Do you get to pick which one, or is it just a random one? Well, you know, I'm thinking there's probably a few distant ones knocking about who could be bumped off, you know?

Just. Yeah, expendable. Just say, it'd make a life easier if I had some sort of distraction. Yeah. God, no, it's one of the most stressful things you can do. I completely agree. I didn't expect to be as constantly anxious and stressed and miserable as I have been for the last few weeks. I genuinely felt like I was prepared, right?

I was fully prepared for like buyer's remorse, which sounds like a disease that affects people who shop at John Lewis. I was fully prepared. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is John Lewis catching? Fine. Marks of Spence, whatever. Who's the posh place? Harrence.

I've got terrible buyer's remorse today, Maureen. If you're popping I popped into herds Pick me up some buyers remorse Would you please I have a double Brice remorse

Just a small tube You can I buy it with the caviar And the new My new cravat Hmm Yes So I mean I knew in my head

That it wasn't going to be perfect You know I knew I'd have to do a lot of work To bring up to date But I still I'm still Knowing all of this I still felt incredibly overwhelmed

by how much a house looks like shit when someone's just moved out. And when you've done this, you've done this as well, right? Whenever I've moved out somewhere, I'm like, oh, my God, there's a fucking mess. Look how shitty and dirty and dusty this thing is. All these fucking light fixtures don't work. And, you know, all those things that you just, you know, it's the same in my current place, a bunch of the light fixtures don't work, you know. And if someone moved in there, they'd be like, why all these lights not working?

And for me, it was just like, I just like, well, they never worked. you know, a whole time I was here, I just used standing lights. But, like, some of the things are, and honestly, look, I don't get me wrong, I've lived in some shitty places, especially when I was a student, you know, I was basically, you know, like everyone is in there, when they're a teenage boy in student halls of residence. I was just a gross little goblin covered in cum. What? I was like, I was, I was disgusted.

What school did you go to? And it was the same. The school of buyers remorse. And, you know, I've talked about all these things before on various podcasts. We all told our extended life history to everyone. We're episode 300 and something in this podcast. I mean, it's like, and if I'm, if I think it's a new story, I've almost certainly told it before.

But also, I do say this, given, fully aware of how pampered and privileged I am, thank you to the listeners for the sweet, sweet trifles Patreon money, go it into my bank account right now. Thank you, listeners. I think that's paid about a third of my solicitor's fees for this house or something ridiculous. Nice. That's good. But do you know what I mean?

Like the whole, for everyone, everyone, there's this huge fear, this huge cost, right? The idea of a mortgage of like a debt that you pay till you die. You know, it's, I wonder how many people actually die of stress just like before they, you know, how many people, I wonder how many people were mortgages actually kill. Do you mean? of like the anxiety and the stress. It is very stressful. There's a lot of a lot of plates spinning, isn't there?

There's like, depending like what, you know, if you've had to go through the bank and you've got to do, sometimes the bank wants you to do a bunch of stuff, you know, check for the house for like asbestos or whatever. There's all sorts of things that just keep on piling up. And then before you know it, you're just like, holy crap, I just have like this task. list of like about a million things that need to be done. And you're on the phone all the time and you're trying to coordinate with people to come and do the things that need to be done. And, oh, God, it's the worst. You had to do it with your loft expansion for your third child.

Yeah, still not as bad as actually moving, though. Like actually moving and having to deal with like way more people is stressful for sure. I've got this two-week buffer zone right before I move. And so I'm like, I've got, okay, I've got two weeks, you know, in fact, that's no time at all. Wait, so you're not in the new place yet? No, I'm moving in about weeks now. Oh, right.

Okay. But I got the house. Does it have the internet? No, of course not. But I've managed to get the old owners, um, internet working. So it does actually have internet there. Does it have a chicken, um, coop in the backyard? No, it's got like, it's got a lot of, it's got a lot of,

sustain yourself. What have you bought here? No internet? No chickens? You have any cows back there or sheep or anything? Cows are the most important. I'll tell you, there is a lot of stuff. Milk can deal with hydration and hunger issues.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you can get a lot of calories per day just from having some milk. We've been playing a lot of projects. You don't want your weight to go down past the certain. We're zonboiting. We're putting everything in zonboid, too. Oh, right. You two are just deep and needy.

How many downstairs windows are we looking at? Could you knock the stairway out and put a rope platter down from a window to prevent zombies getting in. You don't see zombies climbing ropes. Have you thought about just stacking three crates on top of each other and making like a wall of three stacked crates just to put all your stuff in? You know what they can't get through sips, by the way? Staircases.

Yeah. You build a staircase sideways, the zombies can't get through it. Yeah, yeah, it acts as like a big wall. It's silly. I don't do any of that crap. That sounds like a bug, guys. That's exploiting. Yeah, it is exploiting.

Can I ask you, do you know, do you know, do you know, what, here is a niche category. For any straight men out there who like attractive ladies getting on with whatever it is they're getting along with, I'm telling you right now, female curlers, the sport of curling

seems to attract an awful lot of very attractive women. Right. I don't know what it is. I feel like if you Google female curling and get at images, it's just like babe after babe after babe. Female curling. Yeah. It's the focus on their faces that I really like. They

looks so focused on the stone. They're very, very attractive, curling. Who knew? Wow, that is interesting. Yeah, it's interesting, yeah. I feel like if that was the sport at college or whatever that, for whatever reason, all the attractive women were like, oh, I'm just going to do curling. What sports do you think attracts the, the, the, the, the, the widest spread of less

attractive women. Well, I was going to say darts, women's darts. Female darts. If you Google female darts and look, there's a couple of nice looking ladies in there. I don't want to be just judgmental on looks, but there's a lot of, like male dart players, they're just, you know what I mean? I feel like everyone in the darts community is permanently two pints deep.

Yeah, that's what it looks like. And so that everyone's wearing beer goggles. Yeah. But that probably just means that, you know, not that the ladies are ugly, it's just that they don't know what they look like either. so they're slapping that makeup all over the place. I always feel a bit bad when I say that a female is unattractive, but then I remember that I find probably 99% of men completely unattractive as well.

So I'm not actually, I have no bias in it really. It's just like, yeah, most men are fucking ugly as hell. Like I don't even know, you like, you know, like on dating apps and stuff when they're swiping and stuff. Every time I see a guy doing that, I'm just like, who the fuck are you? You should be accepting all of these offers. Yeah, yeah. You should be, you know, seizing any opportunity that comes your way. Like you are more or less, I include myself as well.

I just don't think that men are attractive. It's very rare. An attractive species. When I see a dude that's like really, really handsome, well-dressed, well-groomed, I'll be honestly, dear, I assume he's probably at least a little bit gay. Yeah. Most of the straight dudes I know, Look like they don't give a fuck.

Yeah. Gay men appear to give more attention to their appearance, you know? Yeah. It's true. And I think that's just, I don't know whether it's, I don't know what it is, what culturally it is, but it feels like, I don't know, it's not very straight to like, you know, pluck your eyebrows, is it? You know, it's like, sometimes you've got to pluck them, though.

Like, if I don't pluck mine, it's like a, it's like a jungle up there. Yeah. I'm starting to get very long eyebrows. I got to get, like, when I go to get my hair cut, They're always like, do you want me to shave your brows? I'm like, yeah, you're going to have to. Do you know what? Otherwise, I'm going to have to get the fucking hedge clippers out when I get home.

Can I give you guys a tip for trimming them? Because I don't pluck. I just trim, okay? Otherwise you end up with quite thin eyebrows. I think strong eyebrows are a good look. Yeah. If you just, like, put your entire finger over your eyebrows so that your, your sort of index finger covers them, and then pull up.

You'll sort of create a line. Like your, your finger is pinning your eyebrows above the normal left. If you get a pair of scissors and just go along the base of your finger, you trim off all the long ends all at the same time, and then it just snaps back into position, no problem. Wow. I mean, all or have the, have the, have the wife do it, you know? She might have them. Yeah. I'll be honest, I don't.

She trims my eyebrows. I don't spend an awful lot of time grooming myself. And I do appreciate the tip, but I'm just going to stick to letting the bar. barber do it. Who's cutting your kids' hair's hair on their heads? What do you mean? A professional. A professional hairdresser is doing it.

Well, my mum cut my hair when I was a kid. Yeah, but we're not some kind of 1970s hippies who make our kids' shoes and clothes and cut their hair for them. A lot cheaper. It's probably a lot cheaper. It's about 20 quid for a cut now. I don't know where. And those kids, I got very big heads.

Where are you charging? Where are they charging you just 20 quid for a cut? a haircut. Why, is that too low or too low? That's low. It's low. It's low. Oh, good. Yeah. I mean, maybe they're very little. I mean, since it's got three kids. He's not taking a little Tony and God for like 70 quiddly. No, that's true. And I don't have like any hair either. So it's, there's not much to cut. I always make the joke. They're like, you want me to shave your brows? I'm like, yeah, actually, the hair on my eyebrows grows faster than the hair on my head nowadays. And I most people don't even laugh. Um, because it's so sad. Yeah.

They thought it was like a, they looked, it was like a medical complaint. If only the top of my head had the same rate of growth as like in my nose, in my ears and my eyebrows, there'd never be a bald person ever again, I don't think. Well, I don't know why when you get hair transplant, they don't take them out of there. Do you mean? Out of your nose. I think they used to. Get them out of the nose and the ears. They used to take it from your lower back.

They used to take like big strips of it, like back, way back before the technology evolves. You have to be one of them who's got the big old hair. hairy back men though. You got to be like an ape down there. No, I don't. I have like a reasonably hairy lower back, but not enough to like, uh, not enough for a transplant,

I don't think. Like, they're the kind of people with hairy lower backs, you know? Yeah. And probably, I bet you their cracks are really hairy as well. You got some pretty hairy cracks.

I bet you it's a hot mess in there. Yeah. I thought that it was going to be, so I know that you like, um, big swingers, P-flex, big swinging jugs. Big chugging.

Hey, I am not specific on one thing only. Why limit oneself? Well, I've seen your Instagram, you know, record on a page. I cleaned it up. Remember, we discussed it. He's cleaned it up. He's done a purge. Anyway, I thought because of the curling, there was like, you know, something to do with balance

or having those big swingers around. I was like, I was expecting like a load of big breasted women when I did the curling. She nestles the stone between her bozumes to keep it level. As she approaches on the ice, that would be something. No, not sure. I just, I don't know what it is, but women curlers. Like a pendulum, you know, the obvious ones is like volleyball and that kind of stuff. What do you think the age range is for?

Beach volleyball at the Olympics, they're all gorgeous. And it's an interesting sport because it's not high impact. Curling is not high impact. No. They are also dressed up. But then I feel like that leads a lot more to the imagination. They're older ladies. Because in women's football, they're all quite young because footballers tend to need to be young because they have to run around and do a lot of stuff.

But I'd imagine that curling, you probably don't have to retire when you're like 30 like you do in football. They all look pretty young to me. I mean, by young, I mean, they look like they could be in their 30s. Some of them in their 20s. It's nice how that changes. Yeah. Oh, nice young lady. She's 41.

Have you guys been watching the new season of the Traders? There's a new season of traders There's a new season of traders Well fuck me No of course not I've been really good Trying to book people to Clean my new house

Oh yeah And or I don't know Do anything Like the whole thing's falling down Some of the rooms don't even have lights You know it's dark Like I've ran out of oil or whatever In the oil boiler

Oh my gosh Disaster It's a disaster It's got out of oil and oil boiler Um Ran out of that You should If you want to have something

That just takes you away from all of the trials and tribulations of moving and organizing a move. Might I recommend the traders? It's been really good this year. Fuck off with the traitors. That's a really good. I thought you were going to do. A new series of police custody as well, Flacks, I've been told.

Love custard. New season has started. Wait, wait, there's a new one? How are you watching this? I don't even think it's a one-off. I think it's like a new actual series. I still haven't watched any of it. The Secret Network.

Oh, maybe it is just a one. off. I don't know. Because the last one that was on. Wait, I'm going to tell Mrs. F. You know there's any 24 hours of police custody? This is my, my household works the exact same way. I got the message yesterday. It's like my wife message me and said there's a new series of police custody. This is like three o'clock in the afternoon. She's like, I'm going to put the kids to bed right now. It's like, okay, I'll be in soon. We were like, we're ready to go. I'm going to have to get this show. Have you never watched this show? Oh my God. Please custody is actually so good. Yeah. I saw Chalfour.

The last one I saw Flags and I think this is probably the last one you would have seen as well was the one where the father and the grandfather were both executed at the front door. Oh, it was brutal. And it turned out it was the it was the father of the mother of the child. Totally unrepentant. Yeah, God, he was he was ice cold. It was unbelievable. The fact that he took all the heat and they got off Scott Free, that was a total miscarriage of justice. They just had a lack of evidence. But there's a hundred fucking percent. Yeah.

They were involved. She would have had to have been. Yeah. There's no way he acted completely alone and this was a surprise. I mean, especially because when they were exchanging messages, he was like, as discussed, I'm going to kill the bastard. Yeah. You know what I mean?

She was clever not to respond to that stuff on text message. Yeah, yeah. But in the end, she doesn't even have custody of the, of the, of the, boy because the, the, yeah, the grandmother, the grandma, the, the, grandma, but honestly, just, just despicable people. Oh, it's unreal. Yeah. It's unbelievable. Do you know what, though? In other news, I went, I went to a gig last night, another gig. Right. In, in Camden. Right. And I went to see a Korean death metal band. Right. What do you think? Okay. I'm waiting for the, I'm waiting for your review.

They were called Madman's Esprit. Okay. And the weird thing is that because you know the way whole idol scene that they have, like the pop idol and all that, where it's not just about the music, it's like a fandom around the person as well and the groups. The crowd was the weirdest crowd I've ever seen at a metal gig. It was in a really sweaty underground venue in Camden Underworld, which is next to a pub called The World's End. The World's End pub is a dive of a pub with the worst toilets in London, and round the corner they've got an underground bit, which is also pretty divey, which has a venue at the back, little stage.

And the crowd was like, I would say 80% young women and girls. So when they came out, they screamed. And the scream was like the boy band coming out, scream. But the guy sings about, kill yourselves, kill everybody. Life is over. Suicide, suicide, stuff like that. The funny thing is, I feel like the whole idol thing, the fans idolize the band and the lead singer,

especially. And if you look up Mad Man's Esprit and look at images of them, it's exactly what you'd imagine. Oh yeah, Madman's Esprie. So look at a very, very gothic looking Korean band. They have dark makeup and clothing, colored hair, and georgidous aesthetics. With a little, with a hint of Marilyn Manson thrown in there. There's quite a bit of Manson, yeah. So the music is yeah, the songs revolve around depression, suicide, sex, existence and religion. Madman's Esprie is a study of misery, looking deep into oneself, which eventually shows the reflections of society, and furthermore, human nature. Why do we have to despair? Because we hope. Why do we have to die? Because we are born. Right. Exactly. Man's dispri is a question to all answers. To my eyes,

the world is repulsive. Humans are disgusting. So am I. Yet, they are beautiful. That's why it's sad. That's why I'm full of the hatred of others and my Nice. Depressive, suicidal blackened pop is the style. So it is sort of called pop-map. Well, how did you end up? Is it your eldest or your youngest who took me? My eldest is a fan of theirs and was like, can we go see Madman's Esprit?

There are Korean death metal band and I was like, fuck yes, we can go see that sounds amazing. What was the music like, like, you know, the guitars and the drums and everything? Like, did it sound good? They're very accomplished musicians. He can really sing, and he veers between this kind of operatic style of singing, which is quite soft and gentle, but then... Roe... will occasionally come out, and then he'd be like, you'll make these weird noises,

like goes... Wee! Like that. Nice. And he does some weird weird noises. He does some... like that. And he does some sort of operatic.

It's very weird mix. But it works. So you've got some banging songs. It works. So you went with your eldest to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went and I was going to put eye makeup on and stuff to try and blend in. But then I was like, at the last second that I'd asked my youngest, would you mind doing the makeup?

And she was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do it. And then at the last she was like, actually, you've put too much pressure on me. I can't do this. I was like, there's no pressure. Just if you don't want to do it, don't do it. That's fine. But she bottled it. She didn't want to mess it up.

So she was like, this is outside my wheelhouse. I'm not a goth. I don't know how to do the makeup. I was like, it's fine. Right. So I just went. I was normal. And there were quite a few other moms and dads there as well,

stood at the back with their kids. And my oldest wouldn't go down into the sort of pit, if you like, because he was worried that it was going to be a bit rough. It was not rough. And the funniest bit was at the end of the, the set that, so first of all, I'd forgotten how shit encores are. Yeah. Right?

I'm sure we've spoken about it before. Yeah. The gig ends. They leave the stage and then it's like, one more song. It's expected. It's expected. And they come back out. And they didn't play.

They're two sort of biggest, or certainly our favorite songs, Falling Star and Suicidal. And the Suicidal is spelled with IDOL. You see? So it's an idol who's suicidal. Yes, I can see this right now. I'm going to, I'm actually. Suis idol.

Suis idol. Oh, that's very clever. I'm going to watch. This is a six-year-old song. Yeah, so that was their biggest song. And if you look them up on Spotify, they've got like, that's got like two million views over it.

But they hate playing that one because it's from six years ago or whatever. Right, but that was the final song that they played. That was their big number. And when they play that, everybody goes fucking nuts, of course. So he leaves and my eldest is like, they didn't play our two favorite songs. I was like, they're definitely coming back out.

He goes, I don't know, they left the stage. I was like, no, they're definitely coming back out of them. Like the autism kicked in where it's like, why would they leave the stage if they're going to keep going? This is ridiculous. So that bait at the switch still works on some people. That's great.

Yeah, especially if you have no very limited experience of going to gigs, whether the idea of the encore is still there. I guess that it's theater, right, that we're so familiar with. But I guess this teen audience actually, it's weird how for some people it's expected, for some people it's like a almost like,

almost like a joke, almost like a cheesy thing that everyone's in on the joke. But then obviously you realize there are just people who've had that as a blind spot and aren't in on it. They don't know, yes. I'm genuinely thrilled that they've come back for an encore.

That was the response. Oh my God, they're coming back out. It's like, of course they're coming back out. Everybody's still here. That's so adorable. The lights didn't go up. He's definitely coming back out. Yeah, it was funny.

Anyway, so in order to really get the crowd going, the lead singer, whose name evades me, It's Lee. He's Korean. So his name is like something, something Lee. I can't remember the start of it. He's trying to get the crowd to be a bit more. I think he wants to be a bit more metal and a bit less screaming girls.

So he's like, everybody on this side, you go that side. And then everyone on this side, you go that side. And then when I say you're going to run at each other. And in metal sort of mosh bits, that's called the wall of death. And what you do is you form two walls like opposing armies. And then when the lead singer goes like, and the drum's like, you all charge out each other. It's like a wall of death. It's like, pow, the two crowds collide and it's like mayhem.

I've got to say I've never ever seen this. I'm just looking at a YouTube video with 20 million views. Yeah, but Lewis, you can say that you've been to two ghost face shows before where there was no wash pit granted. So here's the problem. This venue is not that big, Camden Underworld. It's a pretty tight fit down there. in the sort of main pit area. Yeah.

And it looks like a Lord of the Riggs battle of what I'm watching right now. If you were in a festival, like in a big field, you could do this, but in this small venue, it's going to be pretty close. And there's like some pillars as well. So let's be careful here. And this crowd has no intention

of throwing themselves at each other. There's a lot of girls up in very fancy got got got got got got the clothes. And he's trying to get them to do it. And at one point, they're not doing it. And he goes, do you understand me? He goes, do you speak English? And everybody cheered, which I thought was crazy. And then they do it.

But instead of running out each other, they just sort of walk towards each other gently. Well, they're all wearing these like platform shoes. Right, exactly. Sticky. They were not up for a lot. I could totally understand the, the theatre of the show wanting people to do this. And him wanting people to get in, I think it's a mismatch of when, I guess when you have such a diverse act, right, of death metal and K-pop and opera and all this stuff.

You misjudged exactly what your audience is coming to the gig for, and you assume, like, I think the Wall of Death, I've never seen that at Metal Gigs. I've been to a lot. I think it's an unusual thing to do, and maybe he won't be experimenting with that again. It's purely an unusual thing to do, because you need the space. You honestly need quite a bit of room, and you need a big crowd of people who are, absolutely out of their, off their faces to do it, because it's mad to run out another group of people. Like, that's crazy. It is crazy. Yeah. And it's like proper, proper metal fans just doing

crazy shit. And it's not something you could just get going in a fairly small venue with this completely wrong crowd. It was genuinely funny. The other thing is, you know it was a kind of idle fan base, because sometimes he would just make a facial expression or like smile and the crowd would shriek. They were so happy that he did that. And at one point, he thought, he thought he had a hair in his mouth, clearly because they've got, they've got long hair. And he sort of taken a hair out of his mouth, and the crowd cheered. And he sort of gave him this weird double take, like, that wasn't part of it. I just had a hair in my mouth. It was so funny. Oh, that's funny. But it was a really fun gig. But God Almighty, what a scene. It was really not what it, it was what I

expected, and also it was even more amusing than I'd anticipated, this clash of that Korean idol fandom and metal and also the lyrics are just like so comically over the top and the guitarist kept making a crucifix sign he'd hold his guitar his guitar up with the neck vertical and put his arm

across at like a horizontal bar and sort of do that in the audience like he was trying to repel a bunch of vampires he just did that a bunch and I was like I don't know what this is but a lot of bands are doing that like ghosts are very theatrical with their whole it's great a bit of theatre that's why you go to a live show

You know, you don't want them to just stand there and sing. No, yeah, yeah. Go for it. But it was funny. I feel like he wants it to be more hardcore metal. Yeah. And instead it's not. That might be like an internal struggle within the band, you know.

Exactly. Half the band is like, we like, we want to be like a pop band and we want this legion of young girls following us. Maybe he's like, yeah, maybe he's like priming all these K-pop teenagers, tricking them into metal. And then they'll turn into metal heads in their 20s and he'll be able to just play only metal. Yeah, yeah. I guess that's honestly like a route that these people to take when they find their niche. You know, they get to do what they actually want to do. And that's just be a legit metal band.

Man, that sounds like a great experience. I mean, it's such a different world now with the internet and how much has changed. When we were growing up teenagers, like it was much more difficult to find bands. Yeah. You had to read magazines. Basically, yeah. And, you know, and even then like. Or like MTV or whatever.

But even then, that was. like a lot more commercial mainstream. You had to go and buy a CD or like, you know, listen to a friend's CD. And yeah, I think music was much more difficult. It was almost like record companies and rich folks chose what music we listened to. Yeah. Rather more like I'm not sure it's not the same today. I think it is the same thing.

A lot of like, a lot of like bigger names of bands that you would, you would hear, you know, from times past today. It started off as, as underground bands for sure. Like there was lots of bands that, wouldn't have had videos, wouldn't have had any radio playtime or whatever. You had to find them. Or find out about them through, like you said, magazines or through other people or just going to gigs if they happen to be playing in your town and you managed to catch them or whatever. But a lot of word of mouth and stuff too, right? Like there was tons and tons of bands that were not promoted in any meaningful way, but went on to be like pretty successful in the end.

But it's kind of like a miracle that some of them did, you know. I guess their music was just good, which helped. But nowadays, it's like a marketing machine, right? Like you can really market yourself. You can get online market it. You can get onto like different streaming platforms, YouTube, whatever. And you probably have like a much better chance. But maybe it's a lot more saturated now too.

I don't know. Yeah, it's weird. This episode is sponsored by Incogny. Most people don't realize just how much of their personal information is already out there. Your full name, home address, phone number, even details about your relatives, all being collected, traded and sold online without you ever being told. That kind of exposure is exactly what scammers and identity thieves rely on. I talked on this podcast about how one of my friends had a message from their mum saying

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Hey, listen to this. My eldest daughter changed schools. We're sending, we, so we sent, we're sending her to the same school that my, uh, youngest daughter goes to. So, so they go to the same school now, which they didn't before. Um, so my youngest daughter, she, you know, she, she, she's done like the, the, the, the spring to, sorry, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the autumn term, whatever. She's been in school for like, what, like, three months or something. Right. And she's, you know, like, as most like young kids do, she struggled a bit, you know, lots of tears. Didn't, doesn't want to go, you know, like, it's, it's hard to sort of get a measure on how she's doing it at school in terms of like making friends and stuff like that because,

you know, we see her in the morning and then we see her in the afternoon. So she's there the whole time and we get some feedback, but it's like you don't, you don't really know. So anyway, my, my eldest daughter starts and she goes to, she goes to all of her lessons. She's 10, so she's a little bit more adaptable. You know, it's not, not that big of a deal. She's just, it's all new. So it's like a new experience. So she's pretty excited, whatever. So she goes to all of her lessons and stuff and then they have break time. So she gets out of break time and she immediately searches for my younger daughter because my younger daughter said like come and come and find me and and then we can play. So she's like, okay. So she goes out into the schoolyard and to look for my younger daughter. And

she sees like this big group of girls all sitting like on this like bench or whatever. And in the middle is my youngest daughter. So my older daughter approaches and she's like, oh hi. Like, can I sit? And then my younger daughter, like, looks over at like one of the other girls. She's like, you move out of the way. So my old daughter can sit down. Oh, my God. It's so funny.

So basically, she's got like, she's like the mafia in there. She's got, she's got a whole. Wonder why that is. Well, obviously, you've got, the dynamics is that your youngest daughter is growing up with two older siblings. I mean, your son is, is 11 or 12. No, he's 14 now. He's just turned 14. 14.

Holy shit. Sips. So, like, do you mean, like that, that is an influence, right? Because she is, I guess, getting more, I guess, more maturity or at least awareness of what what kids, older kids are up to. Does that make her cooler? Because normally the younger kids are like the RT rebellious one, right? So it transpires.

Isn't it weird? She knows all of the kids in my eldest daughter. class because she befriended them, like immediately. Okay. Because they're all the same age as my eldest daughter, who she plays with all the time. So instead of seeking out friends her age, she's gone out at recess and she's like trying to hang out with all the older kids, but they love her. Wow.

They've just like adopted her. So she's the other way around. You know, like, she's not in charge of the old kids in some sort of all these kids know exactly who she is, know everything about her because my youngest daughter tells them all about her and stuff. playground mechanics. Yeah. It is funny.

That is crazy stuff. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. So, but yeah. So she's been there. She started this week and she's, uh, she, she seems to be slotting in very well. So it's been good.

It makes a lot easier for like logistics and stuff too. We don't have to scramble around to multiple schools and. God. Yeah. Different pickup times, different drop off times. It's all same uniform and everything. So it's, it's pretty good. It's worked out good.

But, uh, I just thought it was so funny. You know, it's like this little four year. And she's like small for four, too. She's like a little baby four-year-old. Just, you know, commanding like 10 other older people. Like she's like some mob boss or like a like a pit boss or something. It's pretty funny. Yeah.

Having her own, having her own. She's going to be as K-pop star. Yeah. You know, just could be standing up. Oh, so good. Yeah. Man, so anything else you guys been doing this last couple of weeks in the new year? I'm just playing a shitload of zonboid, like tons of things.

Yeah, I mean, it's a bit. both been playing times. I have, I feel so guilty because I haven't done any work on like my game project for weeks and I'm like feeling like I've just got so, I think, okay, everyone, I'm just saying now it's January. Yeah. It's just a tough time like mentally. Make sure you get, take vitamin D if you're in the, you know, higher areas like we are because I've just, it's, you just need it to like get your mood fixed. Make sure you, um, speak to family and speak to friends. Oh, God. You know what, I'll be honest with it. I think that sometimes there is a sort of inclination, if you like, or a tendency

for parents to attempt to fix things that their kids are struggling with. And sometimes that sort of fix and that solution is quite clumsy and isn't actually helping. Yeah. And kind of represents a lack of understanding. I'll explain what I mean, okay? So my youngest stuff is a little bit like I do with sort of depression and mood swings and stuff like that and feels.

Not like the sort of depression that I know people who are clinically depressed that have to be on medication to leave the house. It's not there. It's just a general malaise, a mental fog that hits you, especially this time of year. We just kind of feel bummed out. The news always seems to be fucking awful. And just every little thing that comes up that feels like it was designed to ruin your day and potentially your life, everything starts to add up. So she's getting kind of bummed out and everything. And, you know, me and her talk a lot about that.

Mrs. F is a solution provider. You know what I mean? She tries to fix a problem. Yeah. So she recommends two things. First of all, she recommends my youngest. You should take up jogging. Now, my youngest is a lot like me.

We hate jogging. It's just the most tedious, most painful, most painful exercise you can do. Tried to get into it. Tried really hard last year. And I just fucking hate it so much. I hate it. She tried it, didn't get along with it, hated it, didn't help. Then Mrs. F was like, I've booked you and me to go to a sound bath. A sound bath is, for anyone doesn't know, is when you lie on a yoga mat in a sort of room,

normally surrounded by people who think that crystals have healing powers, and they sound this big gong, and the vibrations of that gong have a healing effect on your body and your soul. That's a soundbuff, okay? Sure. My youngest has no belief whatsoever in any of this crap, luckily. She thinks it's all a load of cobblers, doesn't believe in the soundbar, goes along anyway. I'm like, go along. Mommy wants to take you to the sound, but you should go.

It would be a nice thing to do. Yeah. She goes along. She's a great storyteller. She's telling me immediately I can picture what the venue that this took place in looks like. It's the sort of back room of this place that sells Reiki massage books and crystals and, like, incense and shit. It's a very airy fairy shop. There's like an old lady running like a little shop.

Right. It's all like just a load of absolute cobbler. She's got like a little twee hat that she's knitted herself. Yeah. I mean, they're lovely. Like you go in, they're lovely people. But they firmly believe that fairies are real. You know what I mean?

That kind of show. Yeah. So in the back room of this place, which is like some little shed they've added on the back, there's all these yoga mats on the floor and the guy does the soundbath there. Now I know what it's like. You'd go in and it would be deathly quiet. They might have some sort of. any of music or something playing, but essentially it's going to be a weird, creaky place.

And the guys are like, lie down. And it's just a few people. And they lie down. And my youngest was like the yoga mat smelled of cabbage. Like it just, the whole place smelled a cabbage, which is weird in itself. And I figured that was all the people that do yoga in there, just farting. It has basically become infused into the surface. Yeah.

It's all the cabbage eating yoga mums of twicken them. So she's lying there and they're doing the sound bath. All she can smell is cabbage. She's thinking, this sucks. And she can't relax at all. And it's not helping. And I was like, her telling me the story was worth the visit.

I was like, you understand that the story and like, she told her much better. I'm not doing it justice at all. No, all the little details. Honestly, she's so funny that her telling the story,

oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Oh my God. It's so bad. Oh, my God. Like, it was just like, oh my God. Like, she's 14.

So it was just, It was just the funniest thing. And every little detail she popped out, I could imagine it in my head, the kind of things you'd notice when you go to some places like that. So that was like a total waste of time. But that's the way some people try to handle other people having problems with things like depression, is a solution. I'll help you.

I'll fix it. I think that's a very common mentality for a lot of people. And I'm exactly the same. Like, someone tells me a problem. And I'm immediately like, well, how do I help you solve this problem? When a lot of the time they just wanted to vent and they don't want a solution. You just want to listen. In fact, coming up with a solution is obviously you should really ask if you know,

like, do you, do you want me to help with this? Or do you, and sometimes people will be like, yeah, and other people, sometimes people will be like, no. I just want you to listen. Yeah. So go on. It's a communication thing. But also, I think genuinely, some of these things do have a notable placebo effect on people.

because in fact, some ways, like this soundbuff thing probably does get people to help relax. And I think going into a room and lying down for an hour and relaxing and listening to some music, actually probably does have a measurable effect. I don't think it like re-channels your chi or any of that, bollets, obviously. It just sounds nice, right? It's kind of relaxing and nice. It's better than fucking browsing your Instagram and looking at and being upset about all the things in life constantly. Like, any time you're doing stuff, you know, you're constantly bombarded by notice.

Like my partner has notifications on her phone. What? I always try and tell her, like, every time she gets one, I'm like, well, that's, what's who is that? When she goes to see an advert, like a website, and it pops up and says, do you want to allow notifications? Is she just clicking yes? Yes, mostly.

Then again, a lot of people, we don't, like people, people have blind spots. They have gaps in their knowledge and their education, and they don't. realize. I think a lot of the people who were into all these crystals and things, they haven't had the education we have, and they don't, they have a void of knowledge there. When you say education, you mean to the internet. Well, I almost mean though, GCSEs. Like, you know, not everyone has passed their science GCSEs. You said your partner has no GCSEs. Well, she dropped out of school and had some issues. And lots of people do. Like, lots of people drop out of school. Even like rich, you know, lots of people, even some of the richest men in the

Well, didn't finish uni or didn't go to uni or whatever. I mean, like, lots of people don't have... You said your partner is one of the richest men in the world. I'm having Elon's new baby. Congratulations. What are you going to call it? But I think when you start looking at Elon like an actual idiot, you realize why he is like he is sometimes.

And so I'm just saying that it's not... It's... For what... It boggles our minds, though. It does boggle our minds that people genuinely believe in these weird things. But usually it's because they've been there. It's helped them. And they're like, well, you know, there must be something to that.

They've never heard of the placebo effect or any of these or can put two to two and two together. Right. You know, distresses. I genuinely have been very stressed these last couple of weeks. And I'm very aware of it. And I know what's causing it, but that doesn't fucking help. And I know that if I sit down and, like, try and take some time to, like, actually do something relaxing or distracting, I'll feel physically a lot better.

And you can't rationalize your way out of being anxious or being stressed. Or, you know, if you're in an emotional state, that's chemicals. And you can't, like, overrule those. That's chemicals. That's chemicals. Like, you know, our brain releases all these chemicals to make us feel a certain way and run away, you know, from when we were monkeys. And you can't. Speak for yourself, mate.

You can't get. A monkey. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is look after everyone and give it a go. You know, if it works for you, if, you know, going to one of them bowl, having one of those bowls, what's it called? Sound bath. No, no, no. There's a sound bowl or something you can listen to. The Dome of Silence.

They're like singing bowls. Tibetan singing bowls. You basically, you can get them in all sorts, but you sort of run a thing around the edge of it. And it, in it, it gives, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, that's, you know, hippie sound that you hear cults, you know, doing in the, in the woods, you know. All that shit. Because I don't know if you've ever, it always seems on camera so, so wonderful, right? Right.

It's like a wood. Yeah, everyone goes out to the wood and it's all beautiful and it's like birds singing and it's, and it's like, you know, oh, everyone's sitting amongst the fallen leaves. What they don't really show is how cold it is and there's no toilet. and if there is, it's really awkward. And, you know, and you've eaten some lentils so you're really gassy. And, you know, and you're sitting on the hard ground when it's actually wet, but your feet are cold.

You know, there's bugs, like, crawling up, you know, and there's like a dog poo over there. You know, it's like, it's not the romantic image often. You have to, like, push through it. But for me, you know, I can't. There's just too much going on. Like, everyone around me, a foreigner, a foreign situation. I think anything like that that's like a sound bar that's supposed to be relaxing is not going to be relaxing the first time, really. You're going to have to get used to it, right?

Oh, yeah. Because a new situation is not inherently a relaxing thing. Like, I hate having a massage. Like, I don't like, I'm uncomfortable with people touching me. I'm uncomfortable with people really cleaning my house. And like, you know, I'm uncomfortable with so many things, right, that everyone else seems to take for granted. And I'm like, well, I don't really like the idea of paying someone to come and, you know, do this thing that I'm supposed to be able to do myself. I also feel a great deal of ineptitude around stuff like, you know, it's like I should be able to unscrew this light fitting and do it myself, I guess.

Oh, I know what's happened. Now that you bought a house, you're worried that you don't have the DIY argument to. I have got this inferiority, deep insecurity about my. lack of manly skills. Don't worry about this kind of thing. Every top post on D-I-Y on Reddit is going to be Lewis just trying to do some new-fangled crazy thing. Could you guys come around and just fix all of my shit, please? It depends what it is.

I can fix small stuff. Can I book you guys for a weekend and we can like screw all the door handles on that are loose and like, you know, fix all the fucking light fixtures that fall off and try and replace all the little bulbs? Do you remember the accident I had before Christmas where a neighbor crashed into my wall? Do you remember I was telling you about that? So that work is still going on because obviously I had to take a break over Christmas and New Year's. And then weather, if it's raining, it's very hard to lay brick because the water gets into the mortar and the bricks are wet. It doesn't set properly and all the rest of it.

Water in the mortar. The water in the mortar is, you know, what I told my daughter. The water in the water. So the lads are still doing it. As they're around there, and these guys are not counting. They're not taking the piss. They're not just adding new things. They're like, Ted, can I just show you something? Might come around here and have a look at this? I'm like, yeah, what's up? You see that? That's, that's damp, that is. Have you got blown paint on the other side of that wall?

And I was like, shit, yeah, we do have a little bit. You guys, what that is? And it's like a 10-minute lecture about what's wrong with the house. You will find that the people who know how to fix houses that can look at a bit of brickwork and go, well, that's fucking wrong. We'll judge you based on things that you have no control over and didn't even know was a problem at any point. And they'll be like telling you, this is a phenomenon that's very common.

How have you got this bit of brickwork like this? This is completely wrong. You're like, look, I didn't build the house. Here's the thing. We have a limited recent memory where, so if you're looking at new shoes and you're thinking, oh, what am I going to do? Then suddenly you'll notice yourself

looking at other people's shoes for the first time in your life, you know. And so these people who are, have read a little bit or watched a YouTube video about damp on someone's house, and you can recognize it, that doesn't mean this guy's an expert, and he's constantly doing damp. He's probably just done it two days ago, do you mean? And he's judging you temporarily. It is so funny, though, that he's, like, that you now feel guilty about something that you didn't, probably isn't, even an issue. I didn't, I didn't do it. It wasn't me. You know what I mean?

It was, I didn't do it. So, I do find it funny. You got to get it fixed. You're going to get the doubt resolved. Oh, yeah, of course. It's got. be fixed. But I'm just saying, like, it just made me laugh that the attitude was, I mean, you know, they're really lovely guys. They're doing a great job. I can't help the fact that there's just brickwork problems. I mean, it's the kind of thing that, how often do you look at every detail of your house? Well, you don't. Now the, you don't. You only ever look at stuff when it's broken. When it breaks. But the thing is, if you know what to look for, or you do the occasional little patrol of your, the outside of your house, you will spot things.

before they become a problem. For example, we've got a missing brick. There's just a brick missing. It's underneath the eaves. It's quite high up. It's above my eldest bedroom. There's a brick that's just decayed to the point where it's missing. And it's like a hole into the house.

It could be fucking anything living in there. So that's the kind of thing. How often you just squint up and look at the brick? Oh, there's a brick missing. I don't know how long it's been missing. I've got no idea. That might explain the got a got a got there. Or, you know, a vampire.

Exactly right. Or like a K-pop. singer. Exactly. You never know. It was funny that I was like, I didn't, I didn't do this. Do you know what I mean? This wasn't me.

Yeah. But yeah, what can you do? Yeah. Well, here's the thing. That is exactly right because you have these blind spots, right, for your own place. Like, I was going around my new place looking at all of it. And I was like getting super fucking stressed out about how everything was, all this thing is scratched and needs to be fixed. All this thing's, all these paints flaking off.

There's all these cracks in the wall. There's this weird mark. This is weird damp stain. Like all this shit. And I go back to my flat where I live at the moment. And I was thinking, I don't, and then I sort of tried to imagine looking at the flat I live in at the moment with fresh eyes. And I was like, oh, okay, there's a crack. There's a damp stain.

There's a filthy oven. Do you know what I mean? Like my oven at my flat is filthier than the one at the new house. And I was thinking, oh, I need a professional oven cleaner in to clean this. Do you know what I mean? But you just don't see what's in front of you necessarily, right, at all. And then, but there is this sort of, I have to keep fighting. this urge to be perfect, right? Or like, or try and, it's, because it's just, there's too many

things to do. Do you know, I mean, the place I'm moving into has filthy carpets that need replacing and no curtains and no even a curtain rail and no doorbell. And do you mean, like, because they took sort of everything. They even took shells off the wall, so the, the, the walls all just got holes in it, you know. And so, but there's, that's too much. That's, like, already six things that need fixing. And that's before I've got bought furniture, which I don't have. and then I have to say what color I fucking want it and it's just too much and I'm just, I've just sort of said

this week I've just said look I'm not not going to do any of it I'm just going to just fucking wing it from now on and just try not to think about it too much just like one thing at time yeah it was just driving me insane I started writing I basically it's always good to write stuff down

and try and get it out of your head because I realized like I was just holding all this stuff in my head like I need to fix this hole this thing I just wrote it all down in this huge list and I was like, I have to tackle this one by one. And so I started tackling like the first thing. And by the time I'd, you know, done a little bit of research on that, you know, spent three hours looking at fucking, you know, wood floor sanding.

I was like, I was ready for bed, you know, and I had started on the next 14 things. So when it comes to wood floor sanding, we had this where when we had the downstairs redecorated, all the furniture was moved out and Mrs. F was like, this would probably be a good time to like sand the floor. I was like, oh yeah, because there's no furniture in there at perfect time. It is really hard to do. You can hire a machine that will sand it for you. It looks like a small mower, like a lawnmower, and you put this belt of sandpaper on it,

and it just you start it up and it goes like that, and you sort of drive it up and down the floorboards, and it sands them. But if the floorboards aren't completely flat, it will bump and move. Right. And so it'll sometimes get stuck and sand much more one bit than another bit.

So it's really hard. This thing is heavy and unwieldy, and it doesn't want to do what you want it to do. You have to keep changing the belt on it. Just fucking pay someone, genuinely. But you could apply that to literally fucking everything. Anyone that makes out all this shit is easy, it is really not easy.

I think being a DIY expert means being an expert at like 50 different things, because clearly that guy who does just floor sanding Yeah. Is, is, they've done that every day for probably 10 years. Exactly.

And they know all of the quirks. They can do it so much quicker than you. Yeah. You know, like you try and do it yourself and you'll make a fucking pig zero. Because it was the first time you're doing it, right? And the last time. It's not like that's a skill that you need to,

the valuable skill that you're going to take away with you. You know? How often do you just sand your fucking floors? Like I imagine most people do it literally once when they move. in or once in their whole life and that's it, you know? Like, I'm not going to do it every year or every five years or five knows, you know. But that applies to everything too, right? Like, I'm not going to learn how to, you know, be an electrician overnight.

So I'll just fucking kill myself with electric, with electricity. By access, it's not, I'm just an, it's just not worth. Don't do electrics. Most, even most trades people I've spoken to have said, you know, I'll do like a bit of plumbing, like, in my own home or I'll do a bit of this and a bit of that, but I don't touch electrics. Like, just full stop. They don't do it.

I'm not touching metrics. I've got a man coming around tomorrow. It's very hard to do. It's got all these broken old down lights and actually took us for some. I think the guy who lived in my house before was a bit of a wild and crazy lighting guy. Right. Because he basically has run cables out of the house all down the garden for like these random shitty cheap lights, you know.

And I like. like, I like that idea, but he's run this cable out the front and this cable out of the back. And there's all this wire, just everywhere. And I'm like, but the thing is, when I spoke to the owner of the house, I bought it off, she sort of said, oh, this was all the owner before me. So he did all this in the 90s, you know. And there's still electrical cables all over the place outside the house for these lights that none of them work. And they're all fucking, you know, trash.

How aren't? And also he installed like this whole Bose speaker system in the 90s. as well, which, I mean, some people who listen to this might think that's good, but they are filthy, none of them work. It's some absolutely arcane cabling that connects it all into this box that comes out in the middle of the room. You know, it's, it's, and so, and obviously there's like an old burglar alarm system in there as well with the, those little motion scanners in the corners, obviously, no one uses

that are those old burglar alarm systems anymore. So that all needs to somehow be cleaned out. This is the thing with having stuff installed. Like, I honestly think when you have something like installed, installed, you're not future-proofing yourself at all. No. You're literally saying this technology is never going to improve. And a lot of those old security cameras involved fucking cables running throughout your house

because they didn't have wireless shit back then. And it wasn't connected to the internet. It was just like a box proprietary bit of crappy software on some box that controls it all. And 20 years later, it looks like you're still using the security system that fucking Samuel Pepys used in his house. That's how great it works.

So suddenly, all this... Dear diary, I've installed the new Aventis, motion of the scanner, SM 61. Pact candle powered. It involves a pay a man to look through a people 24-7. That's my security system. Keep it on my wife. I don't try.

a little chair in the wall for him. My security man detailed to me my wife's movements for the day. Got up, I had breakfast, went to bed, cried all day. You know, he fucking cheated on her all the time. In his diary, he's talking about how many hookers he slept with. He's just shagging hookers left right and said it. It was just like a thing. He's just no problem.

My wife stays at home, occasionally see her. Occasionally we get together. But mainly I'm just out in Melbourne prostitutes at the tavern with my mates. That's Samuel Peep's. Wow. Yeah. Sounds good. Honestly, his diary is actually well worth to read.

It's genuinely very funny. I had an idea for a sitcom a long time ago. This was like Samuel Pepys didn't stop writing his diary. Sort of mysteriously, he got teleported into modern-day London. So Samuel Pepys has to get by in modern-day London, and he still has all the attitudes from the 17th century and doesn't understand. But there are still institutions and things that were. around when he was living in London.

So it's quite confusing for him that there are things that existed back then that still exist now, but the function is completely different. Well, people's attitude to it has completely changed. I just thought there was potential there. You're a comedy writer looking for a new series. I think you just need to flesh it out a bit. I think it just needs to be fleshed out a little tiny bit. That was just a paragraph.

Of course. I mean, so the thing is he's living with, like he accidentally arrives in what was his old house. But now it's just some bloke that lives there, some lad that lives on his own. And Samuel Pepys is now living with this modern day guy who's not very bright and can't really explain modern London to him at all. So Samuel Pepys gets the wrong information on top of him being lost and stuck in modern day London.

Anyway, that was it. Sorry, I haven't fleshed out of full proposal. I was thinking about writing a diary this year, but I've just not had the fucking time. Honestly, I mean, Peep's wrote his diary for 10 years, right? And I think like through the Great Fire of London was happened during it. And that was a real interesting time, I think, in London. And his diaries were this really interesting window into culture and attitudes at the time that you don't necessarily get from history. Right.

It's like a real day-to-day. I was doing this and I would go down here and I would talk to this man. You know, it was very detailed, right? Even if I was writing a diary, I don't think I'd say, you know, met up with the builder, you know, for two minutes, signed off on it. Then I went and had a cheese and ham sandwich. Had cheese and ham sandwich, yeah. That's the detail he goes into. Yeah, incredibly detailed.

And I think he's, I was just looking up actually why he stopped. Apparently he stopped because of failing eyesight. Yeah, I saw. But he was worried that, you know, because he would write so much every day. Most people would just stop doing things back then because of syphilis. So at least maybe. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, so he said like he was worried about government.

going blind by writing from Candlelight, which I think is a thing that happened to people. So I think that actually is something to be concerned about. Apparently he did live for another 35 years afterwards, but apparently the notes that he published through the rest of the, never published, sorry, he wrote through the rest of his life. Massive letters. Couldn't fit in a diary, that's the thing. He wrote in massive letters.

He was very scared, I think, about putting any of his diaries in the public eye because he wasn't quite sure necessarily how, who he might upset or offend, do you know what I mean? And so I think it wasn't until like the 19th century that the diary was actually published, like long after everyone related to him had died. Yeah. So, yeah, I think, what did it say? It was basically very strange because he, the books had to be kept together and preserved. And also it was designed to protect his reputation. So he gave it to the library at Magdalena College in Cambridge. And it was put in a specific room where no one was allowed to remove books from it and no one 10 at a time.

And it was this whole, you know, he did quite, it had quite clever way to stop it being read, at least until hundreds of years later. Anyway, do you want to have the news? Yes. Hit me. TriForce News. So a 95-year-old grandma. Right. Okay.

She has been playing an FPS game. Which one? Called AIM Labs. Now, it's got 40 million people. Yeah, it's like an aim trainer. Steam. It's not a game. It's not a game.

It's just an app to help you. It's an aim trainer. Train your aim. People play it to warm up before playing like CS or something. So in the same way that like pro pro dodo players will go into a lobby and just practice last hitting, not because they can't do it. Obviously, they can. But it's just to improve their, you know,

sort of just before they, it's like a warm-up. It's like literally warming up. So that's all AIM Labs is. It's just warming up. So this guy's 95-year-old grandma, she is legally blind. Okay. I mean, to be fair,

I think most people that wear strong glasses are legally blind. She's legally blind. She's not, like, can't see. She's just legally black because her eyes say is bad. I'm not flaming granny. She's not completely blind.

People bandy that term around a lot to think that it means is blind, but they're just very short-sighted the cut-off is at some point you are legally blind. Sorry, carry on. So maybe this is just an advert for him. Oh, this is a fucking post on X, you Bell-end. Why have you made me open X?

He posted, he's X, Max. Maybe he's 95 as well. Just doesn't understand that we don't use X anymore. Anyway, his grandmother is legally, legally blind is a better shot than 24,000 other players. That's me. So all of you,

your battlefield teammates are worse at aiming than this 95-year-old legally blind. What if all those 24,000 people are 96 and even more legally blind? Yeah. It's a very popular game. With Reese Witherspoon. They're illegally blind. That's how blind they are. Illegally blind.

So, Lego have announced this evolution since the first most significant evolution since the mini figure. Another advert, this is not an advert, but this is on the... Let me see it. Sam has found these. First advert for AIM Labs, this advert is for Lego's smart bricks. Have you heard of these? No.

No. Is there some fucking AI shit in Lego now? No, no, no, no. The idea is these are bricks that inverted commas play back. Okay. That sounds disgusting. What you do is you have these smart bricks, okay, and they will make sounds when certain things are done.

So, like, you can use them to make lightsaber sounds or like when you open an X-wing, it will make a sound. There's been sound-affected Lego for a very long time, I'm sure. There's lights as well, flashing lights. Some of them have lights. So I don't know. That sounds familiar. I'm sure there was a Lego thing that made a noise way back.

They're just, I mean, Lego are obviously plastic bricks. They now have chips in them, which will play sounds and lights, which, do you know what? Why not? Yeah. Sure. That's the news. That's news. I don't know if you can get them yet.

That was only two newses, by the way, but I'm just... Are you done with the news? No, there's two more. Three more. Okay. Okay. A pitch black screen, no sound, no movement, and yet this YouTube video that apparently has last for 140 years has become this weird viral puzzle.

What's it called? So there's a, it's called, there's an at shiny W.R account. Shiny W.R. It uploaded a 140 year long video. It's got 36 subscribers apparently. On YouTube. And it's racked up millions of views. So at shiny W.R, there's a, the video lasts 140 years.

There's no way. This video is one billion hours long. It's a billion hours long. Yeah, that might be it. I can't find it. Well, it's very strange. I'm getting a phone call. Hold on.

Okay. He's found he solved the puzzle. He's made it make sounds. It's making like guitar noises. Here you go. It's, well, it says, look, it's this, I've linked in the chat, but it's basically at ShinyWR. It's a YouTube channel and the video on it purports to be insanely long, 140 years long.

So they managed, basically, what someone's done is they've made 140-hour-long video file, which is just blank. They've uploaded it to YouTube and YouTube's accepted it and published it and doesn't quite know how to play it. It's just fucking weird. Can you link it?

Is this it? Yes, it's this. And look at that first video. Oh my goodness. Look at the duration on this video. It's fucking weird. So yeah, people don't really, it's just this viral bit of nonsense.

There's nothing. It's just nothing. Yeah. It's weird. The timeline only goes up to 12 hours 34. Yeah, when you're, you play it, it only seems to the last 12 and a half hours. But it's just, again, I think it's, people like this sort of slender madship, you know.

This is like one of them videos where you watched it and your parrot died or whatever. And it's like, oh, this video killed my parrot. Don't share it with, if you don't show it with five other people, your parrot will die. Oh, no. So, you know, watch out. Oh, no. On this, on this topic, there is an app that has taken China by storm called the Are you dead at?

Oh, yes, I saw this. Yeah. And if you don't check in with it, so it's basically this idea of the viral Chinese app for young people living alone. But honestly, it might be useful in the future. I had this idea a while back for, because I was really into like Eve and Wow and games like that where I felt like my clan could use my resources. If I did die, it would be unfair for my account to be locked out because I might have some codes or some shit.

that my client or my guild or my court might mean. So you could have like a thing where you put all your logins into this app and then if it's confirmed that you're dead. Like a digital will. Yeah. It releases all your digital assets to whoever. Okay, everybody gathered. Right.

Sephiroth underscore XXX 69. You are entitled to five magical pennies, a pair of slippers and this box of troll ears. Next up. To you, furry yif lord 929, I leave my

World of Warcraft Mount collection. But I thought why would this sound stupid and never would ever do it. But of course

in China where you might have a lot of people who never leave the house and just shut in gamers,

it's actually quite valid. Are you still alive? It's an interesting idea to let people know that something

I mean, because I felt like there were times in my life when I didn't see anyone for a whole week. And if I died, you know, I don't think anyone would have known. I could have been dead for a whole seven days. Yeah. And that's, you know, you don't want to be found in like moldy, you know. You want to be, you know. If I die, I don't want to be moldy. I don't want to just be a skeleton, like grabbing my skeletal cock, you know, like, you know, when I'm dead.

Looks like he masturbated all the flesh off his bones. that's a goon-sish right there yes we found him he drowned and come so yeah that's that and then finally a teenager has been charged

for sticking googly eyes on artwork vandalizing the artwork sticking googly eyes on it apparently there's a famous piece of artwork in Australia called Blue Blob and he stuck some

googly eyes on it And honestly, it was pretty funny. Blue blob, googly eyes. It turns out they wasn't actually funny because the sculpture was damaged by the googly eyes quite badly. Yeah, that's not cool. I think even if you don't like art. He used Superglow instead of like, you know. That's not cool.

I think Googly eyes on things, putting little crocheted hats on post boxes, all of that, I'm on board. But even if you don't like art or it's not popular, You don't want to be the person who destroys it because people that destroy art deserve death. Yeah, it's not fair for the other people trying to enjoy it. Yeah, like you may as well start burning books if you're going to destroy art. The council are pursuing significant repair costs from her. So, you know, that's what you get for trying to be funny. Don't be funny, you know, unless you know what you're doing.

It's like an electrician. You know, leave it to us experts. Yeah. Don't be googly eyes and just random shit. You better not be funny any of you listeners. because you might get yourself hurt, you know. It's not a threat. I'm not going to hurt you.

I'm just saying you might, you know, fumble it really bad. And then, you know, stub your toe or fall off a chair or fuckmose. So watch out. Watch out. That is all of our lose news. That is our podcast. I've got to go into town and pay some bills. Wow.

I've got to record my other podcast. Jeez. I'm going to go make a cup of tea using a new kettle that I got that plays music while it's boiling. Oh, is it Japanese? No, it's a, it's a Russell Hobbs. Is it Russell? Russell.

Who the fuck is Russell Hobbs? Do you know what I mean? Who is he? I actually bought a Russell Hobbs kettle this week ago and I, do you know what? I was disappointed by it. No, I really enjoy it. It's got a really nice pour to it. But it's got this big base and the button isn't like, my mother-in-law came around and

she was like, how do I use your new kettle? because there's not like a button that you press. It's like a little digital button. You must sing to it. And then while it's boiling, it kind of gives you the temperature of the kettle. You can see the water boiling inside.

And then it does like a light show and plays music. And there's like 10 different tracks that you can play. They all sound like any of music though. So Russell Hobbs as a British manufacturer of household applies has founded in 1952 by William Russell and Peter Hobbes. Oh, God. So it's a, Russell Hobbs is Russell slash Hobbs. I bet you they're in their graves right now.

Peter Hobbs is dead from heaven. They're smiling down from heaven every time I turn on my kettle and the music starts playing. Well, especially they launched the first automatic kettle and became the primary cattle maker in the UK. Oh my God. In the years it followed. It's a good old British company, which is owed by an American company and does all of its manufacturing in China. Yes. That's exactly what they've got.

So it goes. You want to buy British. Don't buy from Russell. No, no. It's manufactured in the UK. And all it needs to do to have that set on it is. Yeah, they just put like the, they rebox it.

They just put like the fill line sticker on in the UK. I think they put the Russell Hobbs sticker on the underneath. Yeah. In a factory. And it employs 5,000 people in Sheffield. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's shocking. Right.

Thank you. Thank you so much, everybody. See you later. Bye now. All right. Bye. Goodbye.