Triforce! - Don't have kids. | Triforce Mailbag #76

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Triforce Mailbag 76! Lewis stumbles through a series of great emails due to his incredibly terrible internet connection, we are warning you to never ever have children and we try to list the 10 most famous people in the world! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Hello and welcome to a TriForce mailbag. I'm not sure which episode it is or when you're going to be hearing this, but the emails keep coming and they are timeless. They are timeless. And as such, I'm going back to the old school. I dug around to 2024 to find some emails I hadn't bothered to respond to or read maybe because I was away or I was busy because sometimes I'll come back from being away

and there's like 100 emails and I'll just be like, oh, and I'll start reading them and then new ones come in and they just get lost. in the mess. So I wanted to start with this one, uh, from Jamie. I'll do my best to keep this short and sweet. When I was as a uni student in Edinburgh, I had a part-time job at a mini golf place located within a large shopping center. After a year or so, I attained a supervisor position there because of the constant switchup of staff. Being a supervisor allowed me the permission to go over our emails regarding bookings, etc. One evening when I sat down to look at our emails, I saw one sent from the ENS. Now, what do you think ENS stands for?

The... He's in Edinburgh. The Ethiopian Navy Service. Navy Seals. No. Okay, I don't know then. The Edinburgh... Nice.

Society. We spoke about this kind of group on the podcast yesterday. The Edinburgh non-society. Whoa. Think of something that... Whoa. No, we were discussing it at length.

We talked about it for like 10 minutes. Oh, you can't expect me to remember what we talked about yesterday. Edinburgh Newtist Society. The Edinburgh Newtist Society, of course. They wanted to know if we would be able to host an after-hours session for them in which they could play mini-golf in the nude. They said they would pay double the usual price. I tried to convince my manager to let this go ahead.

And even said I'd work that shift. And she was not amused. Right. So, yeah, Jamie, thank you. If you have any other mini-golfs. Jamie, listen. Well, your fucking minigolf must not be hard up because I think a lot of businesses

would need that kind of business. And frankly, them turning down the nudist dollar is not only offensive to me, but as a businessman myself, very naive. Right, yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, because 2026, a little bit of Willie on your golf course. This was 2024.

What are they scared off? This emails from 2024. It's like a remix. It's like a new, Mambo number of five. A little bit of Willie in your... business. Bend over.

Careful, but get a hole in one. Hey. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think if I put myself in, in, in the shoes of a business owner who owned a mini golf, uh, inside a, a big building or a shopping center or whatever, I would absolutely have no problem with the nudist society turning up and, and having the,

the place to themselves for, uh, for an evening. or whatnot, why not? I guess it depends what kind of family-friendly image you're promoting. Maybe this golf course is going to. This is like after hours all around there and stuff. How would people ever know? Yeah, but what if they take loads of pictures and post it all over Instagram? You could just say, we're happy for you to do it, but can you please keep it private?

Because, you know, this is a family place and some people may take exception. You know how those weirdos are out there. You guys are in the nudist society. You must run into this kind of thing all the time. We're happy to accommodate you. Could we just keep it on the DL? Also, I would say that mini golf. It's, it's AI.

Fake news. That never happens. It's never had a naked person playing golf in my life. Of all of the things to do in the nude, I think Minigov is very cheap. I mean, it's not, they're not flapping their big swingers around. No. There's no, like, you know, to get the ball out of that hole. That's true.

Yeah. Also, what if they do in an end of good way? You could do it in an end of good way. When some dude gets his butt hole near where the hole's meant to be. I wonder if there's a lot of but hole gazing that we're. would happen in that situation. Well, I don't know. You suggested some man uses like his Willie as a T.

Never suggested that, no. I'm happy to suggest. I never even thought of that, honestly. Get the five iron out, I lean. I think a potting wedge will do for that. I don't know what a potting wedge is. All right, this is from... No, I like it, though.

Was listening to an old episode, This is another 2024 classic, this email, in which you were all talking about SAS, Who Dare's Wins? Yes. Where Lewis said he would be able to easily do the challenges because of his experience in the cadets. Yes. Now that the Yogscast are doing more of their own renditions of popular shows,

would Lewis be up to doing a Yogs cast Who Dare's Wins in which he participates? I think that's a great idea. Lewis, I think that's a wonderful idea. I hope I said that in a joky way. Of course, when did I say, what year did I say that I could? 2024. Do any of the Chinese in S-A-S?

Two years ago. That was two years ago. Okay, no, I'm retaining that level of previous confidence. If young me, younger me, said they could do it. Listen, I am in great shape. I've been the best shape in my life. I go to the gym, never. I've seen you there.

When I walk. My wrist. That's when I go too. my wrists are really hurting from even doing like a tiny bit of groundwork I'm sure I'd be able to jump out of a helicopter into a freezing cold caldera on top of a mountain volcano you know and scuba dive down honestly I probably get like a headache on the plane there

and like be unable to do day one yeah but the yogs who dares wins wouldn't be actual outdoor stuff no like it would be some lame version of it I could um I could be like we're all here in fucking Argentina. We're going to climb the Patagonian mountains. Is that? Oh, okay.

I thought we'd be O's. I think that's too close to the actual show, though. You need to do like a way more shit version of it. Yeah. We need to do things like give people some sticks and just see if they can start a fire with that. We're behind the Tesco in Bristol. I mean, the bomb of Tesco's, yeah. In the car park.

Duncan, eat 50 hot dogs. quickly. Yeah, that kind of who dares you know, in a combat situation, if you've got a lot of hot dogs to eat

you have to. You've got to hide those hot dogs inside. I can't imagine. Because if the enemy get hold of them. A combat situation involving eating

lots of hot dogs. Right, men, it's a bloody awful job, but it's fallen to our unit to eat these hot dogs and quickly and in this larger volume as possible.

Suck them down, the enemy is going to be coming over that no time to do. No time to do. Suck them down. Don't long. That's it, boys.

Keep going. Do it for Churchill. Look over and there's another trench line and bunch of Germans sucking down there, hot dogs. Sucking down some kids. Come on, lads, the juries have got one up on us here.

Someone shoots that shabby fellow on the end. He's eating too many breakfast. Eat your sausages, boys. But, sir, they're using breakfast. They're sucking those down, too. Just absolutely sucking them down. Oh, my goodness. Oh, God.

This is from a tiny peepie, however. When people are texting, it's common knowledge that an X at the end of a text symbolizes a kiss. My question is, who was the one that decided that X means a kiss? When did it become common knowledge on an international scale? I'm curious. I mean, this goes back to, well, at least to when I was a child, because I would send cards to like my grandparents or my parents or whatever, and I put XXOO.

And the X's mean kisses and the O's mean hugs, I thought. Oh, I thought that was because you were playing a little game of the Tick-Tac-toe. I think the X comes from Christ. It's putting Christ at the end of your message. Well, in the form of an X. So that he's with us always. Right. Yes, because Christ wants to kiss you, Jesus famously.

No, he doesn't want to kiss everyone. I'm told. Wait, what about this? He definitely has his limits. I thought that he gave that. I'm meant to believe recently. What was it called? The sermon on.

the mouth. Isn't that what he did? Yes. Oh, I laughed too hard at that dad joke. I googled it. I know people hate this, but I googled it. The earliest attestation, I love that word, of the use of either X or O to indicate kisses, is in the OED in the English novelist Florence Montgomery's 1878 book, Seaforth, which mentions this letter ends with the inevitable row of kisses, sometimes expressed by XXXX, by O, oh, oh, oh.

Here it appears that X and O were both ways to indicate a kiss. I always thought that all meant a hug, but maybe that was just... Yeah, no, that's what I thought it meant as well. Maybe that was just a regional thing for us or something. There is no definitive answer, according to a 2014 article. No, O means... Just one of those things. It means like a real wet, like full mouth open kiss.

So it does say here... Whereas X is just like a little peck. Yeah, Lulu might have been right. Allegedly in the Middle Ages, a Christian cross might be drawn on documents or letters to mean sincerity, faith, and honesty. honesty. The sign was certainly sometimes used in place of a signature. Unscholarly speculations sometimes extended the idea that after a cross was written at the end of a document, the writer might kiss it as a show of their sincerity. The Greek word for Christ begins with an X, gave rise to the practice of using the Latin letter X as an abbreviation for Christ.

Supposedly, this was then kissed in this tradition of displaying a sacred O. So no. I usually sign off all my investment letters to my Bitcoin with kisses as well. I draw a penis. I draw a penis, the classic penis, you know. Nice, nice. Okay, this is from Olivia. Hey, hey, Perian and gang, you guys are the gang. Newton John?

Long time, no, certainly not. Long time listener. I think she's dead anyway. Yesterday, I was convinced to drive. Yes. We can look up Olivia Newton, John. Yeah, while you're talking, yeah, go for it. She's dead.

He's dead. She died. She died in 2022. Yeah. God, it's like whipback. She's not that. The world is crashing around me. Oh, no.

Yesterday, I was convinced to drive and walk Cheddar Gorge and have a few notes on the horrors of mud and Cheddar Gorge. How now? The actual... Oh, so I recommended this. Check out walking hall while you were there too, or just Cheddar Gorge.

Well, I'll read the email and we'll find out, won't we? This is like watching a movie with my kids. It's unbelievable. I'm like, you know, the movie will tell the story. You're interrupting the intro to the movie. Is he the bad guy? Why don't we wait? And we'll find out.

It's because I'm doing what my kids do. And that's, I'm watching other things. I'm reading other things. And I'm like a quarter listening to you as well. So there's many questions. Can you pay attention, please? It's it behooves you. Thank you.

Yes. So I did recommend going to Chedgorge because I went around. I think that's where it's coming. Yes, I think so. They took mine. This is from 2024. Okay. But you recommended Cheddar Gorge, but you didn't recommend

Wookie Hole, which is, I thought the two were like... We don't know if that's the case yet. Okay. She might well have gone to... I didn't recommend Wookie H. Oh, I'm saying is it better fucking be, okay? Get that. We'll get to the point then.

Now, the actual trek of the gorge is not too difficult. Once you get over the first obstacle of going steeply up both sides, it's not that exhausting. The chaos of going up and down the gorge was down to the thick, jellified mud and smooth, slippy rocks caused by the barrage of rain and constant drizzle. We haven't seen rain here in a couple of months, I think. I witnessed many dangerous slips and other walkers passed with big patches of mud on them. Even a poor pug had fallen over and had a big smear of dirt on its side and butt. So yeah, there you go.

I too fell on my ass going steeply downhill. Many looks of horror owners had as their fluffy white dogs trampled through the wettest, sluggiest parts of the trail. I witnessed one girl sliding back down the hill she was trying to go up in her trainers and jeans, whilst her boyfriend helplessly looked on clutching a tree. The village of cheddar itself is very nice, although the price to go in the caves is nearly 22 pounds for a child at peak. That's insane. For a family of four to go stand in that cave, it's a hundred quid.

Good Lord. I didn't go in the caves, but did buy some cave cheddar and it's great. They're too big to fail now, though. That's the thing. They can just keep gouging like all the time. Yeah. There's no cave cheddar. Cheddar gorge.

No mention of wiki holes, Sips. Not a single mention of wookie hole. Not even a wimp. I mean, you've been in a cave. What's in the hole? Wookiees. Yeah. Making cheese.

Get me out of here. Oh, man. Is there anything good with the word cave in front of it? Cigar Cave? Is that a thing? Cave Johnson. I'll ask AI to fill in this part of the podcast. Is there anything...

Cave Johnson. Good with the word cave. And so if it feels like a prefix It just makes things slimyer and gross Cave man Cave in It's thinking Bat Cave

The Bat Cave Man Cave Man Cave is nice Yeah that's good Nick Cave Nick Cave Of the bad seeds What about Cave

Cave Johnson from That would be the prefix Cave That's why I was asking You said suffix Rogers You said anything good with the word Cave after it

Oh with cave after it. That's what he said. Right. Man Cave, Bat Cave. That's all I can think of. Never mind. Let's move on. No, no. No. Let's fully explore this. We're not moving on. Okay, let's go. It's diggy deeply into the cave. Let's get down into this cave.

It's 100 pounds if you want to go in further sips. Oh, man. So consider that. But yes, I guess you went in winter or a sludgy season. It was nice in summer. Yeah, it must have been a sludgy time a year. What are you going to do? That can be your trip advisor review.

Just put nice in summer. Not in sludge. Sludge time. Go in summer. Don't go win sludgy. Don't get your little white, bright white dog covered in shit. Although they do love it. They do love it.

They do love it. They do love getting covered in shit. Absolutely messy. They love being covered in shit. Yeah. All right. This is from a listener called Tom, long time listener. I was talking.

I was talking. this is an email from April, about my inability to smell very well. I'm told the same story I've told a million times about banging my head. Can't smell colognes and fragrances very easily quite difficult. I work in a fragrance lab, this is Tom speaking, where we design and create fragrances for other businesses and clients. I often listen to Triforce while working in the lab. We'll get on with it.

It is fairly common for people to not be able to perceive or smell certain fragrances or fragrance materials. Your sense of smell works by scent molecules entering your nostrils and becoming trapped in your olfactive receptors where a chemical signal is relayed to help you identify the smell. Scent is weird, isn't it? Like, it is pretty mad.

Yeah. Like, when you think about it, the fact that your body is, like, able to take a thing and turn it into a sensation, it is wild. It is wild, yeah. It is really wild.

Each fragrance product is made up of many individual fragrance materials, such as musks and aldehydes. All of these materials contain molecules of various sizes. There are a surprising amount of people who cannot smell musk, for example, due to the size of the musk molecules being larger than some people's olfactive receptors, rendering you unable to trap and perceive their scent. So there

is a high chance that a particular classification of material or a series of materials simply cannot be received by your olfactive receptors, possibly due to genetic differences or long-term damage caused by head injuries or viral infections such as COVID-19. If a completed fragrance contains a large percentage of a type of material you cannot smell, it may be partially, you'll completely become scentless to you. So there you go. That's, I mean, it is, it is bonkers to think that there is a little lining in your nose somewhere and a molecule floats in.

And if there's enough of them, it gets in there and you're like, I smell bacon or whatever. It's fascinating. That truck backing up that big, my ass. Oh, my God. It sounds like it's in your house. Like, it sounds like it's backing up like up your stairs or something. Well, so the problem is, my. My mic is kind of semi-directional, I guess, and it's pointed out my window.

And so when the truck is there, it's like I'm using one of those long-range mics that spies use to pick up on someone. Look, it's part of the podcast now. I'm currently recording this from inside my little shed in the garden because there's a carpet man banging real hard on the bloody ceiling. Why is he putting carpet on the ceiling? And what kind of carpet is it? Oh, what a feeling!

He's putting carpet on the ceiling. I'm just one of those kind of guys What kind of carpet Have you opted for? I'm interested Oh God, fuck It's it was I was gonna get a

80-20 wool blend Standard Pretty standard Like a hard-wearing Like tough-nitted sort of thing Yeah but I ended up actually opting For a single ply instead of double ply Because it was a lot cheaper

And I couldn't tell the difference when I got the samples So I was like, fuck it. I'm sure it will die a lot quicker. The main thing is the underlay is super important. Because that's what gives it, where are you putting this carpet? It's spring and everything. It's the two spare rooms, which I'm going to have as my office, and my partner's going to have as her office.

I think that's fine, because it's mainly the stairs and the areas where there's a lot of football, you want to worry about thicker carpet and thicker underlaying offices and things you're fine. I would say you'd be fine. If you're worried, put a rug down under where your office chair will be, so you don't wear through the carpet as quick. Yeah. Okay.

Top, top advice. I was just going to go fucking nuts on it. I was just going to fucking, you know, just do those like summer tops on it. The carpet in my actual office is a disgrace because I've spilled so many cups of tea and coffee and bits of cider over the years.

And it's just, there's nothing I can do about it. So at this point, I'm just like, if someone comes to view the house, I'll put a rug down. Did you get like a kind of oatmealy, like nutmegy color way? It was all blends. Because you can get those carpets.

We've opted for one that's like a kind of not just cream. It's like speckled. So you can't tell if you drop a biscuit crumb on there. Oh, absolutely. All right. This is an email from Luke. There's a lot of pictures in this. And I'm just going to, you don't need to see the pictures.

I'll just describe them to you. This lad is a mermacologist. Who knows what a mermacologist is? Class, mermacologist. It's somebody who studies mermaid. Ants is the correct answer. Right, I was so close. You just got the alarm from...

This is like QI, but we don't, you know, we're not funny. Exactly. We're not exactly. Basically how urbanization impacts ants. I live in the US, but I am British and I went to Bournemouth Uni. Shout out to you, Luke. In previous episodes, you, Perian, have expressed interest in ants. I do like ants.

So I thought I would tell you about a few cool species. Near where I currently live in the US, there are a couple of species of ant that farm their own fungus culture that they use as their sole source of food. Here is a picture of an ant, and they feed it plant matter and protect it from foreign microbes. So that is one of the fungus ants there for you guys to have a look at. God, he looks to skull. He's eating a small, very small banana. He's carrying that to the fungus.

Also where I live, there is a little known invasive species called Ponoracanth, Poneracanthoricanth triangularis that predates on millipedes that produce cyanide as a defense mechanism. So here is this guy, this guy. Here is a picture of Ponoracanthoracanth Triangularis. So they'll eat millipedes. There they are attacking a milipede, as you can see in that picture. Hope you enjoyed these facts. If you want more, there are so many insanely diverse species I would be happy to tell you about.

P.S. Lewis probably has solved his ant problem by now. Lewis? He's so cool, aren't they? He's been killed by the... Listen, have you solved your ant problem? Downloading those pictures has caused my internet to struggle. Sorry, I'm in the shed.

Luke, I'm sorry, we'll never know. We'll never know. Apparently the most effective way is slow acting bates. There you go. Slow acting baits. Can you hear me? I'm still here. Okay, if mind.

Let's move on. Yep, we're moving on. He doesn't want to talk about ants anymore. He doesn't. Do you want to hear about the fact that a lad from this person's town climbed into the Queen's bedroom, which is quite a famous story? Yeah, that's a famous story. Yeah, that was one of the, uh, one of the few times somebody's ever sort of breached

Buckingham Palace, right? And it was ridiculously easy. I think that was... It was ridiculously easy. Didn't he break in and drink a bunch of wine and like just, he'd like kind of hung out in there for a bit as well? Yeah. Yeah.

So here we go. Uh, blah, blah. Hold on. In the 80s, a guy from a known dodgy area of my home, hometown of Mysteg in South Wales. There's a little area called Cairo. There was an alcoholic that lived in there who decided to take a trip to London. Whilst he got incredibly drunk and around 4 a.m., managed to somehow climb the side of Buckingham Palace through an open window and made his way into a room that happened to be Queen Elizabeth's actual bedroom. Nobody had seen him or

even knew he was there, but the Queen woke up and sat there on the bedside having a chat with this fellow who was eventually caught by the guards, was grabbed ready to be taken to prison. The queen herself requested his pardon. They just got him off the premises. He didn't pose a threat. Just wanted to tell the queen she's doing a great job and to keep it up. Wow. So yeah, that is true.

You can read about it. That definitely happened that dude just broke in. It's pretty nuts to think that you could just climb the wall and you're in her bedroom. Yeah. Imagine he broke in. He was like you're doing a terrible job and I hate you and down with the monarchy. Do you think you would have been pardoned then as well? No.

Off with his head. I wonder if you reckon that she has a little panic button. Yeah. Well, destroy this person. I know she did after him. Philip! Bebe, beep, beep, beep. They're coming, ready.

Four in the morning, for Christ's sake. Philip is a man here. You don't have him killed. Charles. You, Charles, he's bullet. What is it further? Charles, kill this man. Harry, come here.

Kill this man. Cranny of your grandpa. After listening to Lewis glaze the leftover. and avoiding the spoiler section, I spent my weekend watching all three seasons of the leftovers. The cool concept is cool. Oh God, not this again.

But all of the shit that happened was Giga-Wank. Did Lewis explain the part with a main character dice three or four times and then has to do side quests in the afterlife to get revived? I challenge Lewis to re-watch the show and tell me that it's not utter garbage. He's not going to re-watch it. But he is going to tell you it's not utter garbage, I guarantee it. I enjoyed it on my second one. He definitely won't admit to it being gigger.

Go wank, that's for sure. Or will he? This is the second email I've had about that. I recommenders. You do it too, though. We both do it. I recommend something and you guys hate it, or you recommend something and I hate it.

Everyone has their own things. They like and hate. It's called having different, it's what makes us all joyous in the spice of life. And shares the blah, blah, blah. Right. Right. Right. Thank you so much for that. Okay, next.

This is from Tyler. This is from Tyler. The recent Mailbag talk about accents jogged an old thought I've had about the differences between U.S. and... My cup of tea is here. And UK regional accents. It's always amazed me how many accents the UK has compared to the U.S. in the amount of land each country has. Fucking hell. All right, what is happening with this cup of tea that it's so amazing that you're just going to... the rate we were receiving a cup of tea. It's really hot. I didn't want to say that it's too hot. I just thought to thank you in pain. Oh,

that's fucking funny. This better be the best cup of tea. Well, you know, she's come all the way out to the shed to give it to me, to be honest. Jeez, Louise. Is it a flavored one or just a normal one? I'm going to start again. She's giving me a chocolate. going.

Chocolate glass as well. You let me know when you're finished. You let me know when you're ready. There's a delay because my phone is not as good. Yes, there is a delay because you're on your bloody telephone. It's impossible. Don't narrate the cup of tea. Just calm down.

Yeah, you got to, like, just, just, you got to be monosyllabic here. Me calm down. You can't talk too much. Me? We can't catch it. You're just breaking up. You want me to calm down. You just.

I'm the angry one. Do you know what we can hear on your side of this conversation? conversation is this. So just so people are aware, Lulu is on his phone on Discord. So he can't hear us and we can't hear him. We tried our best. Oh, man.

Okay. Tyler emails in. It's always amazed Tyler about how many accents the UK has compared to the US. He thinks there's only four. stereotypical accents in America, the New York sort of Boston thing, the Southern twang, the Midwestern kind of thing, I guess the Californian thing you could put in there, and the sort of Canadian-ish accent.

Like the Fargo one. Yeah, so that's about it. I think, I'll be honest with you, your country's very new and our country's very old, and you've just got more time for accents to develop. That's pretty much it, I think. Yeah, probably. We've got a very old country. But if you're from France, say, or Germany, would you say you have as many accents in those countries?

Because I know Swedes always make fun of people from Stockholm for their accent, and the Stockholmers make fun of the people from northern Sweden or Malma. They'll make fun of various accents. That's more of like a kind of a city to rural sort of thing, isn't it? Well, yeah, but the Stockholm accent is quite. People in cities do sound different to people who live way out in the boonies. But does that mean that there's like city accent and country accent, or is there a Stockholm accent, a Malma accent? You know what I mean?

Like, I want to know where you're from. I don't know. How many different accent? What about in Japan, say? Huge country, tons of people, ancient country. How many different accents are there in Japan? Are people laughing about, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's such a Hokkaido accent or whatever. Like, I don't know.

Yeah, probably. They must be, right? Like, places that have been around for a long time. I guess. I know that Italians make fun of people from different parts of Italy because their accents are very different. Yeah. But Italy wasn't even one country until relatively recently, like 19.

Yeah, no. It hasn't been one country for that, that long. Yeah. I think accents are very, very infectious, and they don't take long to get going. People use them to fit in. It's an important part of our humanity to speak like each other so that we are, so that we feel like a community. And so it doesn't take long, as you can even see, I mean, America's a relatively new country.

and yet the accents are very diverse. You know, that text and drawl is so iconic, right? And I think that's part of it, like it's feeling like you belong. Yeah. I think it's all very unconscious. People aren't doing it on purpose. They just speak in the same way that other people around them do, you know. And, I mean, you've managed to keep a bit of an American accent, tips.

Well, I think you work on it. You know, what's funny, my kids, when they were, But preschool, we just took them to a little preschool, sort of not far from here. And all the ladies there had really strong London accents to the point where both my kids whilst they were going there would say girls instead of girls, girls, and welled, and well, you know, well done and stuff. So they really developed these like, oh, the other girls was saying this. I was like, no, no, no, we're not doing that.

I'm sorry, we need to correct that accent. Right. It was like seeping in a little bit. Do you still get, do people ask you Sips, where are you from? Do you still get that a lot? Yeah, he's obviously a foreigner, isn't they? Where's that accent from and stuff? Yeah, I get that a lot still.

I would say your accent is very clearly Canadian, though, to me. Most people do kind of say, oh, are you American? And then I say, no, no, I'm Canadian. They're like, oh, oh, oh, sorry. But, like, I mean, it's not. It is. It's easy to get the mixed up. You don't want to be mistaken for a yang to your account.

No, but there's parts of America where the accents are so strong. It's true. Yeah, it's true. I'd say that like, I'd say that my, like the, the average Canadian accent, especially like on the East Coast sounds, probably similar to somebody who would live in like, say, Michigan or something like that. You know, like it's, it's not like, it's not heavily influenced by a place like New York. It's not a southern accent.

You know, I think California, it doesn't have like an accent. And as such, it's more just vocabulary, right? For people who live in- I think there's an accent. There's kind of an affectation in California. Maybe. The vocal fry and the sort of California girl accent is very, the valley girl, you know. Valley girl, yeah, like the, ew.

Oh, Tiffany. Yeah, that sort of thing. Yeah. But I mean, you do get that in Canada, too, in parts of, it's not like, it's not, it's not, it's not region-specific either, I think it's just, you know, it's from, from popular culture or whatever. But yeah, no, I do get asked where my accent's from still quite a bit. Because I live in a place where everybody just has this, mostly the same accent, right?

Yeah. In Jersey. So the minute they hear anything slightly different, they're like, oh. That you are trying to hide it though sometimes. Is there are there times where you find yourself pronouncing certain words? No, but my kids, my kids are like are English. So certain words, I, I'll, I've definitely changed like words that I use, you know, like, I'll, I'll use the word rubbish more than I ever would have before. You know what I mean? But like, I don't know.

My youngest daughter always says, always says like, can you say water? Like, she just thinks it's, it's, it's so different to how she says water. So she's like, she gets me to say it and then she tries to repeat it. Yeah, because she says like, can you say water, daddy? Yeah, yeah. And then I say, water and then she's like water. It's pretty funny, but yeah, just like little things like that. Okay. This is, this is an email about, this is kind of, I'd say vaguely related to what we're talking about.

We're just talking about kids. I just recently turned 30, which is the age my parents were when I was born. I was thinking about this the other day because I just turned, obviously, my parents have both just turned 80-ish and I'm 50, which means my parents were around, you know, 30, 32 when I was born. which is the same age that I was when I had my kids. Are you the eldest? No, I'm the second youngest of all the children that my parents have had.

Right, okay. But I only have one sister that I'm sort of really in touch with. I have a half-brother and two half-sisters. So my dad's first marriage, he had two kids. My mom had a son before she got married. And then I came along and my sister came along from our parents. Right. From their, both of theirs second marriage.

So I do technically have three older siblings, but yeah, but I didn't grow up with them, so it doesn't really count. Right. But yeah, so just thinking, my dad was 30 and my mom was 32. And I remember them when I, obviously, when I was a kid, and I remember them as being like, they were younger. I remember them being in their 30s. And when you think back to that, you don't, you always think of your parents as being that much older than you. Because, of course, they always have been. They've always been like 30 years older than you.

Of course, yeah. But when I think back now to some of the dumb shit that they're not, you know, you always think back now to some of the dumb shit that they did. I think, oh, they were younger than I am now. They were fucking idiots. That's why they did such dumb shit. Yeah. My parents were young when, uh, not like super, like they were like 25 when they, when they had me. But right. I remember like sometimes thinking like, oh, when I was this age, they would have been like 40 or whatever. Yeah. Like, and I remember them being 40 and it's like, holy shit. Like, they were so old. Like, even at 40. Like, I think maybe the 80s and the 90s were just like, like, different for that sort of thing. But like, it felt like, it felt like,

my parents were like not young. Like, I feel like we're a lot younger now as 40-year-olds, right? I mean, I think so. But I also think younger people are always much, much worse at estimating the age of older people. I guess. Yeah, I guess. Because like, I was watching something with my daughter the other day and she said, she was describing an actor to me. And she was describing him and I was like, well, what does he look like? She said he's old, like old. Right. So you were thinking like Michael Kane or something. Yeah, I was some actor in his 50s. I was like, dude, it's two years on me.

It was Tom Holland. She was like, yeah, he's old. I was like, no, that's not old. That's not old. That's like middle age. She's like, oh, whatever. So when I was that age, to me, anyone that was like in their 30s would have seemed so old. Yeah.

But I think back now and all of those friends that my parents had and my parents were all, they were in their 30s when we were living in New York, which is wild to me. I just, I think like when I look back at like my, and I say that my, and I say that my parents were old when they're 40. I think it's because they, the of probably the stuff that they did when they were 40, you know, like I, again, I feel nowadays you're more likely to be into like the same things that like some younger people are into, for example, you know, like look at us, for example, we play lots of video games still. We grew up playing them. We still play them. You know, we're in our 40s, 50s, whatever. But like, I didn't know adults that played video games because it

wasn't as big of a thing back then. Yeah, but they were shit as well. That's the main thing. I mean, they were. But, you know what I mean? Like, my parents did, like, what was kind of available at the time, which was to say probably not much. You know what I mean?

Like, there was like, you would watch TV when it was on, you know, there's no, like, on-demand stuff. The internet didn't come around until I was, like, in my teens. And so what else do you do? You just do, like, your adult stuff. Everybody's got, if you've got kids, you've got adult stuff to do. and then your spare time is just, I mean, I guess they just watch TV and did gardening. Well, I'll tell you what they fucking did.

Our parents' our parents' generation was certainly my parents. My dad, by the time he was 40, had been married three times and had four kids. Shit. And this is the generation, by the way. This is the first generation to have the pill and ready divorces. Yet they still fucking had all these kids they didn't want. It was still a big guy. What's wrong with this generation?

Back then, though, it was still kind of like on the, still on, still on the fringe of like, oh, you know, shouldn't get divorced. Like, it was still seen as a little bit kind of... They all fucking did it. Well, half of their friends when we were growing up were divorces. I think, I feel like divorce got a lot more popular, like, in like the late 80s. I think the 80s was the big time for divorce, for sure. But that's when their generation was getting into the 30s and 40s.

Yeah, I suppose so. So they were just like, they just got to a point where they were like, oh, we're fucking good divorce. There were a lot of other factors involved, though, right? Like, even the pressure from the previous generation, that's the thing now. And the big reason why people do have kids, it's from their parents or their, you know, their relative saying, you know, you're going to have kids. No, they're not having them now.

It's like, it's right now. Like, the birth is, is criminally low. Like, I can list so many people that I, that are friends of mine that have no kids and have no intention of having kids. Yeah. And they're in their 30s and 40s. Yeah. And they're just like, never going to have. Like, if I went through the list of all of my friends that I think,

of as we'll have kids. I'm looking at maybe 10%. My group of friends that I, that I grew up with, it's like, it's like 50-50. Like, uh, yeah. Like the guys that are my age. Yeah, some have had kids and then some have just not, you know, some. I have a friend who, who doesn't even have a partner. Like, uh, like he's had partners, but he doesn't have like, uh, you know, he doesn't have like a partner, like, uh, you know, like a full-time partner. It's actually quite hard to, like, uh, he's actually quite hard to, who, if you think about the three of us, you know, or in fact, it'll be, imagine it'll be the, including wives, you know, there's, imagine there's six of us, you've had five kids between you. So even that, with you two being pretty prolific.

Prolific. Thank you. Has not moved the needle. You know, it's still going down. What we need to do is have, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not going to solve this problem. Well, some of this stuff doesn't really factor into some of the big sort of complaints the day, you know, when people are talking about immigration, migration, all of these things or whatever.

But somebody's got to do stuff eventually. And if nobody's having kids to do that stuff, who's going to do the stuff that needs to be done? I mean, this is what Japan is. We're only getting older. Everybody's only getting older. And there's just going to be nobody to do any of these things that need to be done. And we live in longer. We're in big trouble.

Yeah, we are. They're way longer. So, I mean, the issue is that the boomers have set up a system where just when they all tap out on mass, they don't fucking care. They're dead at the peace. If you want me, if you want me to fuck some women and get him pregnant, I'm, uh, and you know, let me know. Or like Elon, calm down, right, calm down, Elon.

We don't need you to Louis Brindley repopulate the world. No, listen, I think this is a genuine problem, but it's, and it's a global problem, and it's a problem with inequality, too. like people don't feel like they can afford to have kids or they can bring kids up in a environment where they're working hands to mouth two jobs each living in a tiny flat. This is not, absolutely. I'm not criticizing young people's decision.

No, no. I completely understand it. Like people are supposed to, people have been told that they have to have kids when they're ready, but they don't, people don't feel ready. And they don't, they're not supported properly. I think if we had. Of course. Proper incentives, proper support, proper equality in our country and in the world,

maybe people would be having a lot more kids and bringing them up. And if the wealth wasn't hoarded by a few dragons on their massive mega ranches building their doomsday bunkers, maybe we'd have a... Deborah Meaden and Duncan Bannetine. That's the reality, isn't it? Duncan Vanatine, yeah. It's not going to be solved by you and fucking P-Flex having two more kids each, is it? Do your part from Britain.

Fuck your wife. My dad got married in his early 20s, had two kids by his sort of, you know, mid-24-25, he had two kids, had a house, had a career. How many people that are 24-25 now can say that they've finished university, are debt-free, by the way,

have a career, have got married, and have two kids. And their partner can stay at home look after the kids. Only the very richest people can really say that. It's ridiculous. This is me speaking as a 14th. 22 year old, you know, I still, and you said P-Flax earlier in the podcast that, you know, it was, you know, when your parents were in your 30s, no wonder they were doing all these stupid things. They were in their 30s. That doesn't, you are stupid in your 40s and your 50s. People are stupid all the way through life. They do not get somehow wisdom through age. It's, sure, it's worse when you're a teenager, for sure. And in your 20s, you're making some terrible decisions. But like, yeah, I can totally understand that having kids in my 20s, Like, or anyone having kids in their 20s is frightening.

I know a few people in their mid-20s, and I would be like, oh, my God. But then again, some people I know in the 20s are like the most mature, brilliant people ever, and they should definitely have kids. But I don't think they will because they're also brilliant people who realize that there's no advantage to it. It's just not supported properly, you know? It's really hard. I don't think there's a lot of support.

There's not, like, it doesn't feel like there's a ton of support for it. And when there is support for it, it's, it's kind of like, I don't know how to explain this, but it feels like, you know, like, if you, if you become like, if you become, um, uh, in it like part of the system and you're on on benefits with children or whatever, um, there's, there's no like, there's no middle ground, right? Like, like that, while it's helpful for sure, it does suck as well. Because you, you're kind of, you're kind of stuck in a lot of ways, aren't you? Like, you. Like, you're, you're kind of stuck in a lot of ways, aren't you. Like, like, you'll never have enough money to really do anything. You're just kind of like, you've got enough to kind of go through the motions and your kids are like kind of covered or whatever, but it's, it's not like, it's not, it's not like a long-term solution or proposition, right? But like, but then for people who, who aren't necessarily on benefits like in the middle, there's, there's not like a ton of help, I don't think. And like, I'm not saying that there should be a ton of help, but there should be at least like probably some help.

You know, like, uh, the only reason we need- There should be a couple of places that you can go like in a week or whatever. The reason you need help is because you need people need childcare, because now you have to both be working. Yeah. Right? So you have a situation in the past where the childcare was one parent looked after the kids and the other went out to work.

And now the situation is we both have to work. So who's going to look after the kids? We're going to have to pay someone. And that cost is so high. And then you have all the costs of education, which either the kids bear themselves, which means you're telling your kids, here, kids, start life with an 80 grand debt or whatever it is. I don't even fucking know.

I don't even want to think about it. And it's like, how the fuck are you telling people you've got to have more kids? Well, then make the system fairer, make it easier to have children. And it's not just about tax breaks. You've got to completely rework it. I just think it's unsolvable at this point. I think so, too. And so there's a complete revolution the way we do things.

Yeah, absolutely. because I think part of the, I think, like a part of the issue, I'm not saying it's the whole issue. And again, I don't know tons about this. My experience with this is I have kids and and I'm probably firmly in the, in the middle class in that I don't need to worry too much about child care or anything like that. And I'm not on any sort of like subsidies or benefits or anything like that. But it is a bit of a juggling act. And fuck, I can't even remember what I was going to say now.

I was going, I was going somewhere really good with this too. I'm so sorry. I've completely lost my story. Oh, man. I think I might have interrupted you. Well, no, no, no. It's not your fault.

Oh, sorry. I was going to say, it feels like, it feels like some of the systems that would be helpful to people in, and I'm not just saying like daycare. It's not just daycare. There's other things, right? If people want to like homeschool their kids or stay home with their kids and take them to like groups and things like that, there's so many things that are now systems that maybe should be not privatized or run by charities that, you know, like the government could have like a more active part in to keep subsidized lower, keep people interested and stuff like that. They don't seem to exist.

And I think a lot of the big cost for people saying, like, we need to work two jobs, therefore we need daycare. You know, some governments will be like, we'll give you, we'll help you this much. We'll help you like one day a week out of the five days in the week or whatever. And like, that's a good step. But ultimately, there's a lot of this stuff is you're relying on the private sector. And the private sector just wants to make money. They are just profit driven. And I think leaving essential services up.

to the private sector is just a recipe for disaster every time. You're always going to end up where people have less choices because it can't, just can't afford it. And the prices of things only just keep going up. Yeah, it's crazy. I took my kids to go to the, I took one of my kids to go to the cinema on Sunday with one of her friends. And for three of us to go see Toy Story 5, it was like 60 pounds.

It's insane. It's fucking stupid. I mean, I'm not. sorry, this is not anything to do with child care or whatever. But it's just, no, it is. The law cost of doing simple things is fucking stupid. Like, I just, I'm, I'm some, it's a miracle that anyone does anything anymore. Like, you say that's not childcare, but what is the point in having kids if their childhood

is meant to be this horrible, miserable, can't do anything because it's too expensive, grind? I mean, that, okay, so the cinema and then, another time, same child, same friend. I took them both to the, to the pool. I didn't even go swimming. I just sat on the side and, you know, kept an eye on them to make sure that they weren't drowning each other or themselves or whatever. They're only 10 years old. And for both of them to go swimming, it was like 25 pounds. Yeah, it's mad. In a, in, everything's so expensive. This is just like just like just an indoor public pool. They don't even turn the waves on anymore. Like the waves were not on. One time when we're in there.

And it's like 25 pounds for two 10 year olds to go swimming is insane to me. I remember. There's no incentive to go. I remember. There used to be a statistic. And I heard this early on in my 20s. And it was like, this was before I had money. But I, and it really put me off having kids.

It was the cost of a night. Again, I had a student loan. I had no money. I had no job really that paid a thing. I was just working as a freelance journalist living sort of. you know, day to day. And the average price of per kid is about 250,000 pounds. Yeah. And I just thought, do I want to go half a million pounds into debt? You know, I was 25, you know, by this point, you know, I hadn't got a job. I couldn't see one coming, you know, and even if I had got a job,

would I have wanted to incur more debt? And I just felt like, and yes, look, I understand there are government incentives in a sense, especially you get maternity leave and things like that. In some cases are better than others. And your employer can reclaim that from the government. And so, you know, the government is doing things to pay for these things. But it's a fraction of the reality of the cost, which is not only the raw money, but it's the time. And obviously, yes, a lot of that time you are getting joy out of your kids. But a lot of it is also work.

And I think that it's kind of expected. I don't know what these guys are thinking in the government. I imagine they're all just men who are like, well, if we make it. an incentive for women to have babies, some women will take a larger to now have 15 babies. And then it'll be one woman with 15 babies and that's a terrible situation. Fuck me. You can't be, if a woman wants to have 15 babies, I think go for it. Well, exactly.

But they do want to pick and choose the babies. Yeah. So here's the problem. These government types that are anti-letting people have babies and paying for their and all the rest of it, they only want upper and middle class babies. They don't want more working-class babies. They don't want immigrant babies. It's a very specific white, wealthy baby that they want.

That's it. That is it. All of these systems come down to that. Anytime you've got a question about why they're doing it, that's why. They're not even pretending in some parts of the world anymore. Some of those parts being the UK. I mean, look at Rupert Lowe said the other day. He doesn't think that Prince Charles is a white Britain.

What world do we live in it? They want a very specific kind of baby. So anytime that the policies seem to go against what they're saying, they're just masking their true intent, which is they want to stand on a podium, flash a fucking salute and say, we need more white babies. That's what they really want to say. Just bear that in mind. Anyway, let me move on to something because this is turned into a regular polka. The email that I'd started about babies, the point, the question from the emailer is, how do we feel, especially me and Sips, because we have kids, about our kids growing up with access to an archive of our content. So does it feel weird that they might, at a later point, go back and rewatch some of our older stuff and be aware of us talking about them growing up and the challenges of being a parent, everything like that? The sort of conversations we never heard our parents have, what do you think about that?

Because I do think about it quite a bit. My kids have heard me have these conversations. Me and my wife talk about them all the time. And there's definitely been times where they've mentioned things that we've said to each other, but we didn't think that they were listening or paying attention. They're always listening. They're the best spies. They are always listening.

So I'm not too worried about them going back and watching old content or anything. Anything that we've said about them, they've heard before anyway. And it's not like, you know, they're not going to find out like anything. Look, I think. It's no different to back in the day if your parents kept a diary and they died and you went through their diary and you looked it up and it was like, oh, little Teddy. wet his panties today on the golf course. You know, little Teddy will not be eating dinner or sleeping in the house tonight.

Little Teddy will sleep in the dungeon tonight. Where Teddy has been banished to the cave. Little Teddy, if little teddy wet his panties one more time. I'm little Teddy. What are you talking about me for? I'm right here. I know. It's your parents, it's your parents' diary.

Your diary. So I'm just, little Teddy can expect to get the holes again if he keeps sweating his little panties. I got a t-shirt the other day that was, you know, in Silence of the Lambs, the way the little poodle is looking down into the hole and you see a perspective from down in the hole

in the poodle, I got that as a t-shirt. Yes. So it's like the little poodle looking down. There was a whole bunch of people were making those, taking that scene from Silence of the Lambs with Buffalo Bill is looking down the well and they were putting it like

on ceiling tiles and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's a picture of like somebody's office and you look up and you can, it looks like Buffalo Bill is looking down the well, like into the office and stuff. I love that guy's voice. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Oh, wait. When she goes, if you see this, it goes, oh wait. Was she a great big fat person? Oh, wait. Oh, wait. This is from John. Sorry to bring up football, but a friend of mine recently said Lionel Messi is one of the

top 10 most famous people of all time. Yeah. I disagree. There simply have to be 10 people dead or alive who are more famous than Lionel Messi. I couldn't agree more. I think saying that Lionel Messi is one of the top 10 most famous people of all time is ridiculous. I think he's recognizable for sure these days because he's on the cover of video games. This is his peak. Yes. I mean, if you go back, Pelle was everybody knew Pelle when he was around him before that late 90s. Maradona. But you would have to have watched like some football, you know?

I'm sure there's still people out there that if you showed them a picture of Maradonna, they'd be like, I don't know. They'd think it was like, you know. It's the same. Let's go to the top. Yeah, yeah. It's the same. Let's just do a top 10 of famous people.

You start, Sips. You say one and then P-Flax, you say another one. Okay. I'll start. I'll say Michael Jackson. A really famous person. Michael Jackson, I think, undeniably, is one of the most famous people that ever lived. Everyone knew Michael Jackson.

Absolutely. Everybody. Every corner of the world. I'm going to say. What you got. What you got. I'm going to say, it pains me to say it, but I think Donald Trump now has to be one of the most famous people. He's got to be.

Wow. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I don't even think these, I don't think those two people are possibly on the top ten. But maybe Michael Jackson. Jesus Christ. How about him?

Well, yeah, but you've got to say he definitely existed. You're saying he 100% existed. Jesus Christ seems to change depending where you go in the world as well. Because if you're in America, he sees a white Californian with long hair and a beer. Hitler. Hitler, for sure. Adolf Hitler. William Shakespeare.

Yeah, I'll give you Shakespeare. I think 100% Shakespeare. Albert Einstein for sure. Albert Einstein, yeah. Albert Einstein. I guess you could... Winston Churchill probably... I guess maybe you could have...

I don't know. But I think those five are just... A lot of this, we're looking at it from a sort of UK-centric. I don't know if you could put Winston Churchill up there and say that most people in the world know him. I think these other five. I think everyone in the world knows these five guys.

Any women on this list? I reckon... No. I reckon Obama is more famous than Trump. Julia Roberts. No. Wait, you think Obama is more famous than who? Trump, probably.

No, you're mad. You're mad. Everyone knows Donald Trump because he's such an asshole. Yeah, it's true. Well, maybe. He's far away under Adolf Hitler. You know what I mean? It's like nobody's going to forget these guys.

Yeah. What about Gandhi? I don't know if Gandhi. Gandhi. Right, but if you showed most people a picture of Gandhi, how many of them are going to say Gandhi? Most probably. I think all five of these are. instantly recognizable.

This is a tough one. Michael Jordan. Who else is more famous than Michael? No, I'm trying to think of people more famous than Messi. Messi. Yeah, Ronaldo. All the same. Ronaldo is probably as famous as messy, right?

The same sort of... I think Ronaldo might even be more famous than that. Same sort of time frame for Peking and stuff as well. I mean, I guess like if you're talking famous footballers, maybe again, this is like England specific too, but like probably Beckham is probably fairly popular worldwide. Yeah, Beckham pretty famous, yeah. But would you say David Beckham is as famous as William Shakespeare?

Nah, no, not even close. What about Napoleon Bonar Party? Bonar Party. Napoleon Bonar Party, I would say, is probably famous, probably recognizable. But again, I think he falls in the same category as probably Churchill and Gandhi and a couple of other people where if you're not, if you, if you, if you, if you don't have like a good grasp on history. Yeah, exactly.

Like Jefferson and Lincoln and all these guys. You know, they're hugely famous and Washington as well. But are they George Washington of America? I mean, they're on money in a country that has like, you know, 360 million people in it. So like they, I think Washington might be famous enough to be iconic. But people might not necessarily be able to say, who it is, but I'm just saying globally. I'm saying globally.

And not just celebrities who are famous now. I'm saying everybody's heard of this fucking guy. Okay, what about this guy? Henry the 8th. Henry the 8th, probably our most famous monarch, I would say. Everybody kind of, Queen Elizabeth the second. If you're not from the UK though, like knowledge of the monarchy is like non-existent.

People don't know the old like it's a... The queen. I think queen, queen, queen, queen, queen, Queen Elizabeth the second, probably. I think I'm going to put her on the list. She's probably one of the most famous. She's got to be one of the most famous. I think so.

Because everybody knew around the world. Everybody knew Queen Elizabeth. She's been fucking, she was queen for a thousand years. Like Mumrah the ever living. I can't think of, I mean, there are other scientists to like Newton and Darwin and people like that. Newton and Darwin are a decent shout. I do like both of those. And there are also some real classical legends like, things like Quater.

Mozart. What about Nelson Mandela? Mozart. Mozart. Does everyone know Mozart? Yeah. Nelson Mandela, he's pretty big. Martin Luther King?

I'll put Mozart slash Beethoven because I wouldn't be able to tell them apart if you showed me a picture. John F. Kennedy, probably most people. Oh, JFK. I don't think so. Nixon maybe. What about like the Buddha? Well, there's a bunch of them are there. Yeah.

It's like different words. German Mao. Oh, how about someone that everyone's heard of, like Neil Armstrong? What about Stalin? Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong. Stalin, you could put up there as well. I think he was pretty...

Stalin's probably close to Hitler, isn't he? These guys are all in the top 50. What about Genghis Khan or like... Gangas Khan? Nah. Someone like that. Not famous. That's too historical.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, we need someone like maybe like, maybe fictional. How about like Sherlock Holmes? He's pretty fucking famous. We can't start putting fiction. You can't put fictional characters because... Harry Potter's going to be on here. Harry Potter.

Harry Potter. Water. Harry Potter. Who do you think is the most famous actor that ever lived? An accident everybody is. I would say it's probably... Tom Cruise. No.

It's got to be Tom Cruise. Really? It could maybe be... Come on. Could it be someone like, I don't know, Samuel L. Jackson or someone like... that everybody fucking next. Everybody, like somebody that just everybody knows. Paul Blart.

Adam Sandler. What about, yeah, I probably Tom Cruise. Like I kind of hate to admit it. Matt Damon. Matt Damon, maybe. Tom Cruise, it's probably Tom Cruise, right?

Al Pacino. Probably like, maybe Al Pacino. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. He's really famous. Robert Dino is pretty famous. Can we say a woman's name? For Christ's sake.

Who? We have not said a single woman so far. What about Beyonce? She's pretty... We have said a woman. We got Queen Elizabeth the second on it. Yeah, Queen Elizabeth the second. Would Beyonce be top 10 for like people knowing who she is? Like she's, I mean, she's... Because why not put Madonna up there or any of these other top stars? You know what I mean? Yeah. Olivia Newton, John maybe. Yeah. Sadly, she does. John Wayne? What about Adam? What about John Wayne? Oh, wait, wait. What about Frank Sinatra?

Elvis. Elvis for me. Elvis. There you go. Not a woman, by the way. Elvis is not a woman. No, that's 10. We think. That's 10. So, shall I run down on this?

Can we put, let me know. Marilyn Monroe. Maryland Monroe. Oh, right, all right, right. Who are we taken out? Should we take out Napoleon and put Marilyn Monroe? Yeah. Put Marilyn in.

It seems insane, like an insane thing to do. But I think, I feel like, you know, like if I, if you went down the street and and you just talk to, say, 20 random people, I reckon a bunch of them would not be able to say that that was Napoleon, you know? Like, it's two... So do you reckon that if you asked, if you went out, I went into London, I asked a thousand people, I'm going to, I'm going to lift ten names to you, just tell me if you've heard of them?

Yes. Do you think a single person would have not heard of the following names? Oh, if it was just... Michael Jackson. If it was just names, maybe... Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, William Shakespeare, Albert Einstein. Marilyn Monroe, Queen Elizabeth II, Mozart, or Beethoven, depending we're not on the fence on that one, Neil Armstrong and Elvis.

I think that's a pretty good end. Neil Armstrong, I would not. You want to take Neil Arshund, the first man on the moon? You want to take him out? Yeah, I think Neil Armstrong sort of come off the top 10. He's a top 50. It's hard to know. He's a, well, it's, look, it's very hard.

And this is not the most like necessarily, I realize Napoleon has had a, pretty large global impact. And so is people like Stalin and a mouth. You could put like Steve Jobs or looking for just Bill Gates on there instead of Neil Armstrong. I'm going to do. We're going to put Taylor Swift in place of Neil Armstrong. Yeah, I mean, most people have heard of Taylor Swift. We'll put Taylor Swift in place of Neil.

You did land on the moon. And then do you know what? Apologies. Let's take out Marad de Moran put Messi in there because I reckon at the moment. No, I'm not putting messy in there. Miss has got it. No short. Give him his chops while he's still, while he's got his moment.

Do you know why? Do you know why, Lewis? I'll tell you why. This is a cheating little shit and his legacy is completely ruined. You know what? Maybe if he stamps on the back of a few more people's legs, I'll put him on the fucking list.

He's retiring. He's going to add off Hitler. Good fucking riddance. I used to love Lionel Messi. I used to love him, but he's not bigger than that team. He's a fucking asshole. I hate him.

I hate him. He used to love Messi. Great stuff. Big fan. That was a... What happened? How did you fall out of love with him? World Cup, mate.

Just all this World Cup. Awful. Yeah, just let it all. He didn't fucking step up and tell people, hey, stop being a dick. This fucking ambassador, and he's a tax evaded little cunt as well. Fuck off Messi. Fuck off Messi. Where is he setting up in Jersey?

Fuck off mercy. Fuck off mercy. And that is my entire in my armament. There you go. there you go thank you no I'm happy with that that's the end of our mailbag

goodbye keep the emails coming and thank you so much and I don't care about the line or messy thing you can shove it up your ass Argentina good night

goodbye oh what lovely what lovely podcast fuck me oh god it's a great way to end fuck off messy

fuck off messy fuck off messy fuck off messy