Triforce! - Fanny Down, Party Pie Up | Triforce Mailbag #54

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 54! We go back in time to some ancient (and problematic) fantasy and sci-fi novels, Lewis goes on a big rant about AI (among many other things) and we get some mail about "Cool Maths". Go to http://auraframes.com and use code TRIFORCE to get $20 off their best-selling Carver Mat frame. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe Hello friends, lovers, well-wishers, haters, baggers and the infirm. Welcome to... Yes, especially the infirm welcome welcome do be welcome please sit down you're looking very tired take us away on your leg and yes yeah all right you like a cup of tea but by yes that is one of my le leak was it no what I think of a humble what am I thinking of? Hummel? What am I thinking of?

Hummel figurines. Hummel? Hummel's. Yes, they are my Hummel's. Hummel's? Hummel's? There's a word for them in- For what?

Hummel's. But we, in England, we don't call them that. We call them something else. A Hummel figurine? Yes. Hummel figurines. Uh, a series of porcelain figures based on the drawings of Maria in Ascentia Hummel. Yeah, but the cheap ones made in Spain and Italy are the ones that we have in the UK.

Oh really? Yeah, and they're like little fairy boys, or like holding a candle. Like cupids? Kind of. Hummel figurines. This is the mailbag, we're supposed to know stuff. No, this is intriguing. Rip-off. I don't know much stuff.

Well actually, there's a bunch of rip-offs in the UK as well. So I was in Chukesbury the other day, which has a nice, like, abbey. The heck were you doing there? Oh, we were just visiting for the day out, for Mother's Day. And British Mother's Day. Don't panic. No, I know, I know. I know all about it.

And it was a lovely day, we were having to walk around an antique shop and I, it's amazing. That tat from another world, the stuff that's, that's in there, you know, clocks and the whole box, whole like cupboard full of stopwatches and things like this. Before, before people had phones, they had to have tons of shit. Right. And this was like that on display, you know? The thing that always amazes me about places like that is when you go into them with somebody and they're like, wow, look at this. And you're like, yeah, wow, that is such a piece of shit.

Like I would never buy that. I always find it unbelievable that people buy stuff from those places. Well, I wonder how they do a trade as well, but I think it, they have so much though. And the problem is, there's so much that the people running it clearly don't have time to even sort it out because you know, you're walking through and you see like, I think it's, I think it's, well, my mom said it was, it's, she said, well, they have people die and all their shit gets like shoved, shoved into the here, you know, because it's just a mishmash of nonsense.

There are dumps that you can go to as well. It's probably quicker to unload it all. That's what I said. I said this stuff in here is slightly more valuable than just taking it to dump. So it's stuff that's worth like 15 quid, you know, or 10 quid. It's like stuff that like, if it was worth less than that, you know, or 10 quid. It's like stuff that, like, if it was worth less than that, you know, like this framed picture of a Matrix poster, you know, with like a limited edition film, you know, it's got a limited edition, like 999 of 12,000.

And it's like, and it's like faded a bit in the sun and it's in a crappy frame and it's got like a £40 price tag on it. And you're like, ugh, you know, even if I was like a collector of matrix stuff, would I want this? You know? And that's, you know, next to like a Chinese kind of monkey puzzle wood box, you know, or something. And it's like...

Yeah. Monkey Puzzle Wood box, you know, or something. And it's like... The classic, yeah. So it's basically stuff that is just on the wrong side of the good-bad spectrum to be considered not quite trash yet. Yes. This is just not garbage just now. It's nearly trash. Yeah. It's so close to just being... just toss it. It's on the cusp.

Yeah. It's really teetering. And I think that's what most antique shops are, right? It's a lot of crap. Yes, there are some genuine antiques, but I think the word antique has a certain gravitas to it, right? And it sounds like it should be good, right? An antique should have value and be ancient and, you know, show the past and be and be ancient and, you know, show the past and be almost like rare. You can't get more of them. But some of these things, I mean, this technically a Jurassic park limited edition poster is an antique, but it can also be crap.

Is that an antique? I would say that's just a collector's item now. Like it's not that old and like a collect, you're talking like maybe something from like the Victorian era is an antique now, I would say. You know what I mean? Something from 1990 is not an antique yet. Like there's no way. I think for it to be an antique, it's got to be like at least 80 years old, I'm going to say. Well, it's, I think there are rules, but this shop did not listen to those rules. Right.

There was everything in there from a literal wooden packing crate that was painted white, you know, like a bric-a-brac. It's kind of, I guess that's what it is. It's not antiques, is it? You're right. You wouldn't call like an iPhone 11 an antique, you know, it's not, it's not old enough. You know what I mean? Like, uh, I mean, you wouldn't even call like an iPod nano an antique yet. Like they're, you know what I mean? They're just not, it's not old enough, you know what I mean? I mean, you wouldn't even call an iPod Nano an antique

yet. You know what I mean? It's not old enough. Jurassic Park stuff can't be an antique just yet, in my opinion. I think it's too young. Like, 80 years. I think about 80 years should be... There's probably a guideline for this stuff somewhere, you know? Yes. If only there was some resource that I could use to find out. Well, here's the thing. Ladro, that's what it's called. L-L-A-D-R-O. It's a Spanish company. They've made, they still go in, but for the last sort of, well, one of the biggest things they make is these porcelain figurines.

Right. And they're, they're what I consider hummels to be, you know. But there's a couple of knockoff ladros, because obviously, you know, your grandma doesn't want to buy a small child holding a candle next to a goat, you know, for 60 pounds. It sounds like something occult related. Yeah. Definitely. But they do modern ones. it's like a Grogu ladro figurine. Who's Grogu again? Grogu is the baby Yoda from the Mandalorian.

Right. That little shit. I'll put it in chat and you can have a look. Wait, he was called Grogu? Yes. Yes. I know. Fucking Grogu?

It was either that or Greggo. So I mean... That's such a weird name. It is a weird name. You're right. Well, they had to call him something. They can just keep calling him baby Yoda. True.

They did have to call him something. Yeah. Tony. Just call him Tony. It's a classic name. Dave. Well, give me your, give me a mail bag. Hit him with a mail.

All right, baby. I keep talking about going around this antique shop, it was mental. This is about the D&D wizard tropes thing that I mentioned, where I said I felt that the wizards in Dungeons and Dragons were... the nerds that made D&D made sure that the wizards were very powerful. The most powerful. Just cause they couldn't pick something up. Didn't make them not powerful. Yes. So, recently you mentioned wizards being frail in D&D, despite Gandalf being a badass. As a hobbyist historian on the matter, I'd like to share some context you might find interesting.

Besides game balance, which you discussed, the other reason why early D&D wizards were frail and didn't much resemble Gandalf is because the creators were more interested in the sword and sorcery genre of pulp fantasy, where magic users are often depicted as villains relying on the occult for power while the heroes used strength and wits, e.g. Conan the Barbarian. Appendix N of the first Dungeon Master's Guide titled Inspirational and Educational Reading has 28 authors listed, including J.R. Tolkien, but it's noted there that the most influential of the creators were, I don't know what these mean, Lion Sprague du Camp, Fletcher Pratt, Robert E. Howard, Jack Vance, H. P. Lovecraft, Abraham Merritt and Fritz Lieber. I don't know any of these, I'm sorry, apart from Lovecraft.

Well, Robert E. Howard is the guy who did Code N. Oh, I see. But who's Leon Sprague. Do camp. I've got to look at famous. Um, well, let's say author. Yes, I know. But I'm saying who the hell is he? Like he was science fiction.

You can just look them up. I use the word, use the worldwide web. I have, he wrote the phrase, no hits. Extra terrestrial. Wow. Yeah. So he's like a pretty big deal. I mean, extraterrestrial that's a bit, that's a famous word. No hits. Extraterrestrial. Wow. Did he? Yeah. So he's like a pretty big deal.

I mean, extraterrestrial, that's a bit, that's a famous word. That's a famous term. You're absolutely right. He wrote these light fantasy kind of pop, poppy, poppy sort of things. One of the ones called Land of Unreason, 1942, a kind of adult fantasy. Oh goodness. Here's the plot. He wrote Les Simpsons, which was then of course adapted into The Simpsons.

Fred Barber, an American staying as a guest in an English country home during World War II, consumes a bowl of milk left as an offering for the fairies, leaving behind liquor in its place. The rightful recipient of the offering gets drunk and is offended at the substitution, takes vengeance by kidnapping Barbara off to the land of fairies as a changeling, a fate normally reserved for infants. He finds Faerie beset by a menace, echoing the war in his own world, trapped in a magical realm where rationality is turned upside down. He undertakes a quest in the service of the Faery King to be returned to his own world.

Wow. So yeah, I mean, it's classic, classic, um... Drug-fuelled literature. Classic old school fantasy strangeness. Yes. But obviously like coming in the footsteps of Alice in Wonderland and Narnia and these other things that were much older, I guess, than this. Which were always very prevalent in culture.

When you think of fantasy, you do have to think of these early... Actually was Narnia before? Was it after? Around the same time. Anyway, whatever. Yeah, Tolkien was around the same time, imagine as well, after post-war. Hmm, that was like the founding, I guess, of modern fantasy world. So I guess that's why D&D was there. It has to be something familiar to people, right? When you've got your players, they have to have a world which they've already

read the books about. Yeah. Yeah. Gosh. It just reminded me of, the name El Prague Du Camp reminded me for some reason of Tarnsmen of Gore by John Norman. Have you ever heard of the Gore novels? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, they got talked about on something awful quite a lot back in the day. Right. Because there's like a subculture around them.

So, Gore, G-O-R, and this, John Norman, he basically wrote these really trashy pulp sci-fi books about... they were called sword and planet novels. In that it's like sort of low tech-ish, in that there's a lot of sword fighting and stuff like that, but on exotic alien planets. And also sword and planet is also known as planetary romance. They're quite often, for some reason, a bit saucy. So Tansman of Gore... I think Tansman of Gore was problematically saucy. Right, right. Oh no, no, no.

I'm coming to that. I'm not going to say that Gore is fine. Anyway, the whole point of Gore was that it depicted women as slaves of men and all the women in the gore novels are submissive and it's very clear that John Norman was just really into BDSM where he was like the male dom and he had submissive, you know, women partaking in BDSM with him. That's pretty much what all the books were. And he fucking made 38 of these. It's it's insane. Tarzan of Gore, Outlaw of Gore, Priest Kings of Gore, Nomads of Gore and so on. Slave girl of Gore, Savages of Gore.

Like it just goes on and on and on and on and on. Yeah, he wrote a fucking ton of these books. Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, Gore. And you got to admire people that like, uh, they're so passionate about something that they'll just keep doing it regardless of whether it works or not. You know, like you, if you hear about these authors that wrote like 20 books and none, none of them did well commercially, but then later, you know,

somebody discovers them and they're like, wow, these are amazing, but the person is long dead or whatever. But like, how do you have the motivation to just keep writing this stuff? I feel like you'd want to... Well, the reason why is because it's porn. Like this is, he says, the first several books are passable exercises of Edgar Rice Burroughs style fiction, while later volumes degenerate into extremely sexist, sadobasochistic pornography involving the ritual humiliation of women and as a result have called widespread offence. That's a bit like this podcast really, isn't it?

Yes. Our early episodes, we just talked about sniffing flowers. It can't help that I hate women. We make women here on the try-porn. Fantasy author Michael Moorcock says that gore novels should be placed on the top shelves, stating, I'm not for any form of censorship, but I am for strategies that marginalise things that work to objectify women and suggest women enjoy being beaten. This is a common thing in this stuff. I mean, I read the Terry Goodkind sort of truth series when I was in

school. When I was in secondary school. Because, you know, this was what happened. These books were in the school library and they are sort of... You had porn books in your school library? Well, they definitely do. Some top shelfers? Well, again, like, one of the things I'm sure I've talked about this before, but, but Goodkind has it like, he must be into BDSM or something because he is routinely subjecting his female leads to some form of sexual violence, which is not very cool.

No. And I sort of, I did find it a little bit kind of sexy and erotic when I was a kid, but also in a way that was like kind of unpleasant. Right. I don't know. Joey, there wasn't a lot of, I wasn't expecting it. You were, you got horny, but you felt bad and dirty about it. Well, it was a strange source of pornography to discover when I was, you know, 14 years old in the school library. There was like all this, all these like, all these books that have sex in them, you know, but they're in like a kind of a strange section of the, you know, you, we were very starved for this,

but back in the day, it was a different world. Right. I only had Microsoft and Carter typing boobs into that and didn't show you anything. You know, it was, it was not the same. It was rough. It was rough. Oh, by the way, do you remember we talked about the North Sentinelese Island ages ago? Sure. Yes.

That's the one where that, that's the only, they throw spears at helicopters. Yeah. You cannot go there, right? So on Thursday, Indian police arrested a US tourist who had sneaked onto the highly restricted island carrying a coconut and a can of Diet Coke. Oh my god. That's what he had. Is that the only thing he'd carried?

Apparently that was two of the things he had. And they nicked him. I mean, the main thing we're not gonna, we're not, you know, letting people go there is because, A, they're gonna get killed by the North Sentinelese people, and B, they might kill all the North Sentinelese people with whatever diseases they've got. These guys live in completely isolated conditions. You go over there and give them COVID, they're all fucked. Well, precisely. I feel like there's, we've seen enough news of people going there and getting, you know, killed for it. It's not like, you know, the last time someone was land, land, but I think they, a

lot of these people think see it as a challenge, you know, or like the last guy was a missionary, wasn't he? And he wanted to, you know, spread the word of, of Jesus to them, to save them. Yeah. Did it work? Um, and I know he died. They killed him. Right.

Excellent. Um, so no message him. Right. Excellent. So no message received. Excellent. Weird. Yes. Yeah. Weird that that happened.

It was a total failure. Yeah. It is weird. Yeah. All right. This is from Andy. Sorry for the slightly inappropriate question. I'll try to keep it as civil as possible.

While watching a recent Yoastcast members video where Lewis and Bobo were joking about fanny packs, I was suddenly struck by a thought. Do British women use the slang term fanny in intimate situations? For example, and he has then removed on grounds of good taste the example, so I'll do it. Oh yeah, stick that big cock right up my fanny, might be an example. In my experience... It's not impossible. It's pretty common.

It's pretty common for American women to use pussy in certain situations, but the thought of someone using the term fanny in the heat of passion seems ridiculous and quite funny. I feel ashamed, but my curiosity relentless quest for the truth have overwritten my common sense. Listen, I think it's unlikely to happen north of Leicester, right? South of Leicester. It's definitely a more northern thing, right? You could imagine some- They're a lot more Prudish in the south. They would say something different. Some lass from Hull might let that one out.

Oh yes, pop it in my foof is what we would say. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Well, yes, poppet in my foof is what we would say. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. South of yeah. Yeah. But it's more, it's definitely a more Northern term. And I think these days, not so much, but I think you could definitely see it if you wanted to.

Alan, ravish me with your tallywhacker. That's what they would say. That's what they'd say in the South. Stuff like that. Yeah. But up North, they'd be like, you know, hey up. Pop it in my fanny. Get it right.

Pop it in my fanny. Get it up in that fanny. Get that mickin' all about. Pop it up in fanny. There's a reason British porn hasn't really taken off on the internet. Oh that's dead nice, thatno's really taken off on the internet. Yeah. Oh, that's dead nice. That is all. Yeah. It was that jizz all over me fucking tits.

But I find all porn talk ridiculously cringe. Like I don't even know how people, you know, you know, people talk about like, oh yeah, you know, we're dirty pillow talk and stuff. Like, why are you doing that? Do they don't just shut up and get on with it. We don't need to get on with it. We don't need the play by play either. Thanks. I prefer to be perfectly silent.

That's right. Yes. Completely silent. Yeah. With like a couple of muffled groans. Are you okay? Yeah. Once they go, are you okay, dear?

Yeah, but it's alright now, isn't it? I'll get on with it then. Yes, darling, carry on. Putting it right up one's fatty. Yeah, no, I don't think I've ever heard it used, really. I mean, being a southerner, it's not super common. We call it clunge down south. Right. Now you're right.

Yes. That is the common term for it. That is the common term, medical term. Well, madam, we've looked at your scans. They've come back and the specialist says your clunge is infected. Yeah. Sorry. I live way more south than both of you. And I can tell you that down here, they go in big for Vajazel.

Oh, yes, my Vajazel. Yes. Yes. Yes. You don't go for like a hoo-ha. Or like a rah-rah or anything like that. A rah-rah? No, no, I can't say I've ever heard of it.

A rah-rah? I mean, yeah, but if someone said she exposed her rah rah, I'd know what you meant. Exactly. It just has to be any slightly, slightly twee phrase is the sort of polite version of Lady Garden, for example, you know, anything like that. Anyway. All right. This is, this is from.

Thank you for writing in. Yeah, cheers. Thanks so much for that. Becca. I found a topic I could chip in on after the Gordon Ramsay bingo discussion. This is from... Thank you for writing in. Yeah, cheers. Thanks so much for that. This is from Becca. I found a topic I could chip in on after the Gordon Ramsay bingo discussion. I work as a chef in Sweden, moved here from California in 2020, and I've been working in kitchens for the last 10 years.

While I have no intention of defending the concept of fresh frozen, as mentioned often on Kitchen Nightmares, I think there is a general lack of awareness of the freezing practices in restaurants. I am speaking from my own experience in broad terms, there will of course be exceptions. Freezing foods the freezing practices in restaurants. I am speaking from my own experience in broad terms. There will of course be exceptions. Freezing foods is incredibly common in restaurants, generally with the help of vacuum sealing to retain quality. Food is often prepared in bulk as a time-saving measure.

Your comment, literally making something and using it for the whole week, is exactly what happens in most restaurants. Things that take a long time to cook are often made at the beginning of the week and used throughout. So long as it tastes fine and you, the chef, would eat it, it's acceptable to serve. That kind of thing can't be done with fresh burger meat or fish, for example. Most places are cooking in bulk and reheating. What is going on in the background? Sorry. What is going on in the background? There's like some shouting or something, some

talking. Yeah, people yelling. People outside. It might not come up in the episode, but if you do, if you'll listen to this in a tranquil moonlit glade and you can hear some Twickenhamites arguing in the background, our sincerest apologies. They are animals. I imagine it will get processed out in the, in the, yeah, I mean, that's an incredibly boring email, thank you Rebecca. Basically you're saying that... She's making excuses. She's saying that, just to save time, we do cook stuff, we just put it in a little bag

and seal it. No, no. Listen to this. Make our own sausage in-house and prepare enough to last several weeks, because it's very time consuming. We make the sausage, vacuum seal it, and then freeze those bags. What do you think? Should they make fresh sausages every day? ALICE How is that different to freezing something at a factory and then delivering it to you the

week later? Like, there's no difference. Just because you made it, it's not freshly cooked, is it? The whole point of this, and Gordon Ramsay's whole point, is that it's gone into the freezer and come back out of the freezer, which changes it. You know? Oh, I'm with you. Am I crazy? No, I mean, I believe you're right. No, you're not crazy, no, yeah. But I will say that-

I think stuff that has been frozen and unfrozen is different. It just is, right? I guess. I mean, I will say that I've frozen sausages before, and when they come out of the freezer, they're fine. They're basically the same. I've made bolognese and then we freeze the bolognese portions and then we reheat it later and it tastes the same. Like, there are just things that you can freeze as long as you don't leave it there in a shabby way just botched in the freezer.

So are you saying, hang on, is the point of this email that there's no problem with stuff being fresh frozen at all and Gordon's wrong? Or is the point of it that in fact, it's some fresh frozen stuff is fine. Or is there always no fresh frozen? Right. I understand. What's the point of it is that we were talking about the whole fresh frozen thing and back as Gordon's wrong. No, back as contention is that a lot of restaurants do that because it would be, they wouldn't be able to do it otherwise. Take it up with Gordon. Right into him, not us. Like, what are you telling us for?

He's not as accessible as we are. That's why he's busy. He wouldn't just ignore that email. We see, we're listening. We listen. That's why, you know, you should watch our cooking show instead. It's more accessible. Apologies for that outburst.

Rebecca is making excuses for freezing all of our food. Because it sounds like restaurants actually have to do it in order to function. Well, it sounds like a reasonable thing to do then. But Gordon doesn't think so. So maybe buck your ideas up Rebecca and maybe cook some stuff fresh. And it's fucking raw. So you know, all that. Yeah. Rebecca, geez. Gosh.'s fucking raw. So, y'know, all that. Yeah.

Rebecca, jeez. Gosh. Jesus. Anyway. Um, next? Okay, yeah. I'm just reeling from that Lulu outburst. It always sets me back.

So, I was actually reading an article about Amazon Prime the other day, I can't, I don't think we talked about it on the podcast, That 67, about 67% of people in America have Amazon Prime. The ones that use Amazon. About 67% have Prime. But that a lot of the time, the cost of things that you buy when you're logged in on a Prime account are higher than when you're logged in on a regular account. Like they, you pay for Prime and then in addition, they stick the prices up for you. I see. Which is quite interesting. So this stump has emailed in the great Amazon Prime conspiracy starring ads and my sanity.

So I'm in the car with my girlfriend, mailbag 52 playing and Lewis goes full rant mode about Amazon Prime showing ads. And I once again cannot stress the look me and my partner shot each other. A moment of pure connection between myself and Lewis forged through shared outrage. Why? Because every single word Lewis uttered was like an echo of my own inner monologue. Watching Invincible or Clarkson's Farm, other shows are available, has become an exercise in rage management.

The ads continue to make my blood boil. Here's why. It's not even the existence of the ad. No, no, it's the conspiracy of it all. Flashback to a few years ago. There I am, blissful in my ad-free prime world, believing in the promise of uninterrupted streaming. Fast forward today and what do I get? Ads. And what's worse, I'm paying more now than then thanks to inflation. Meanwhile, my girlfriend just doesn't get it. She's over there scrolling TikTok during the ads, saying they're fine, they don't bother

anyone, but they DO bother me. They're squeezing every drop of revenue out of me for a service that half the time has nothing worth watching. Amen. This is just a rant-fuelled mess of a podcast. I think we've got to understand that the world out there, they don't care about us. They just want to extract as much money as possible and they will only stop when they start falling apart. It's like Disney putting all their prices

up and doing less and less. They're going to use up all their goodwill eventually, but until that point, they can just make as much money as possible. That prime thing on the increasing cost doesn't surprise me at all. It's terrible the way they do it. And they manipulate and they exploit to get... Cause they can make millions by doing so, right? On this. They tweak one little thing that pisses off a bunch of people, sure. But it makes them millions in return. So like, oh, it's like one of the things they do, for example, on Prime and on Discord and on these things is they offer you like, you can get discounts on signing up at this thing, right? It's like, oh, if I, they're selling that to you as a benefit.

Okay. Whereas actually it's an ad. They're saying to you, oh, guys, as part of your Prime membership, you can get 20% off at your membership, Pure Gym. But of course you can't, right? It's an advert for Pure Gym because they're paying Amazon to try and get signups at a discount. It's not actually a benefit, but they overload you with things. Discord does this all the time. They constantly try and give you free stuff, but actually it's all just adverts disguised as benefits. And so this is the world we live in. Okay, guys, we can't stop it. People will be making money. It's like AI. I don't know if you've seen TikTok or Instagram recently, but AI is starting to get everywhere.

Mason- Oh God, it's so bad. Jason- And I'm realizing it's everywhere, but I'm also noticing that sometimes it's almost too good to notice. But that means it's everywhere and I'm not noticing it, right? I've heard that AAA studios are just massively using AI. And of course, why wouldn't they? If you can save time, money, paying people, you can get something done fast and go on holiday earlier or have more days off or spend more time with your family. Why wouldn't you? We live in a capitalist society. The genie is out of the bottle. There's no stopping this. And if you're not using AI, you're being left behind. You

can see all the excuses that these people are using to start using this stuff in their games. And it's going to be used in ways that are really interesting, like to automatically do the voiceovers. So you don't need to hire the voice acts anymore. It's going to be used in ways that are really interesting, like to do the, to, to automatically do the voiceovers and, you know, so you don't need to hire the voice acts anymore. It's going to be used to do all the animations of the mouth moving. So you'd have to do that by hand anymore. You know, it's going to be used for like so many things. And it's kind of here now, like these next generation of AAA games coming through. So do you think finally at long last we'll have a game where you can choose your character's name and then for the whole game they call you that? You know, like in like, you know, like it's all voice acted, but they're like, Oh yeah.

Hey, good to see you. Turbo hot rod 69. Welcome back. You know, but it's all like, it's, it's just so slick, you know? It's there. Do you think finally we're at that point? The future is here with that. I think there's always space for bespoke and skilled people and there's always gonna be people who have to code it and engineer it and tweak it and adjust it and change it and fix it, right? Because it's never gonna be perfect. But at

the same time, I think that you can skip vast amounts of faff. I think in a sense, I reckon you can just get... How has Audible not already got books on auto being read? Do you know what I mean? Audible could just throw out tons of books that haven't got an audiobook version. Or maybe Audible are quaking in their boots because you buy the book version and a subscription to this AI isn't part of the appeal with those sometimes that like, like celebrities read them. Well, you can get an AI voice for a celebrity. What are you talking about? I can get Stephen Fry to read me Lord of the Rings. I know, but like you get him on the podcast. Right.

Well exactly. Oh my God, we can. We could easily. That would be my dream. Come true. It would be great. I'm just saying, everyone is on a knife edge about this stuff, but it's coming and there's nothing we can do about it. It's like a juggernaut, pounding down on us. It's like nothing we can do. It's just going to change everything. But maybe that's just me. I just think I just think it's like one of those, the points where it's, it's a huge change, right? The internet changed everything. And I think AI is going to be again, a huge change. AI feels like a really big change for better or for worse. Like, um, you know, I, I feel like, like enough has changed over say the past 25 years, let's say, but AI feels really significant.

Like, it's like, it's a big step all of a sudden. It's a real reflection point. Oh, of course it is. But like, it's really doing amazing things that you can't see behind the scenes, right? The art generation stuff kind of blows my mind. It's real stupid. I did actually do a thing yesterday where I asked, what did I, who did I, of course on my own WhatsApp, fucking Mark Zuckerberg has got meta AI now.

You can send a message to, basically it's Facebook's chat GPT. And I asked it to come up with some roles, custom roles for Blood in the Clock Tower. Right. Wow. What did it come up with? They were so bad. They were so hilariously bad. I thought we could do a little video talking through it. Oh, okay. But it is only a matter of time. Bill Gates said that in the next 10 years, it'll go nuts.

Bill Gates said that in like the next 10 years, it'll go nuts. I mean, you can believe him or not, but I mean, maybe he knows something about it. I don't know. I feel like he's probably right. I think in the next 10 years we'll see pretty big changes to do with AI. You know, like not... It'll be a little bit like... It's similar to when when it's a copy, right?

It's a, sorry, sorry to, but it's like a shadow of reality. It's like a garbled version. It's like someone going, oh, he, oh, do this or that sounds like French, but it isn't. That's what AI is doing at the moment. It's it's, it's an, it's like mimicking rather than understanding in it. Sorry, go on Sibs. I was just going to say, it's probably a little bit like the, uh, you know, when the first sort of, um, automation on assembly lines started coming out, you know, it didn't start

off perfect, but now like look at it now, it's insane. You know, the, uh, the way that they make cars and the way that they make, you know, products, produce goods and stuff like that. Like it'll be something that it'll catch on and then they'll just refine it, refine it, refine it. And before you know it, you just won't need people to do that kind of stuff anymore. You know? And it's going to be surprising what gets replaced.

Yeah. And what it's not everyone's focusing on art, but like the real stuff behind it is accounting and text and it's weird jobs that are gonna go first. Yeah. Accounting. You know, everything's gonna be done digitally. The whole thing. Um, there won't be any more accountants? No. I mean, it's already happening. I've like, zero or whatever. And they just track, they just pull everything through there and it puts it all through pretty much automatically.

Yeah. There's a way, but then again, there's always, there's always something to fix, isn't there? I think it's just, anyway, let's move on before I rant too much more about falling apart of the world. Oh yeah. American viewers, Mother's Day is fast approaching and you better at least make some effort to cement your reputation as the best child that your mother could possibly have had by getting her a lovely present. So why not give her an Aura digital picture frame preloaded with decades of family photos. And what she could also do is she can then put her old pictures onto the Aura and share them with you. So it's a really great

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Support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms of condition supply. And now on with the show. Remember the good old days before Microsoft Word had auto save? You'd type out an important report and then your computer would freeze and you'd lose hours of work just because you forgot to hit save.

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Why side quest? Yes. Were you guys all playing games while, uh, yeah, while we were on there? Yeah. Huh? That's interesting. You told us about this. Was that Jesse's podcast? No, Bear Taffy's podcast. Oh, I told you about it.

You told us about that. I don't remember. I apologize. Bear Taffy. The show was like, you had to do stuff in games, but you couldn't do the same. You couldn't do multiple things in the same game. So like one thing was like, chop down a tree. And there was three of us. So somebody could be like, oh, okay. I know what game I can play to quickly chop down a tree. And then, you know, the other two went off and did. There's like a whole list of tasks and you try to do them in a certain amount of time. He told us he's not like he's cheating.

What are you talking about, P-Flax? What is this? I didn't accuse him of that. I just was intrigued. Because I saw the Triforce subreddit and I was like, oh, this must have been, you know, maybe he was on, uh, tough talk with Bill Maher or something. You're just sounding very accusatory. No, I apologize. I didn't mean to. You've been on any other podcast tips? I hope you use protection.

Because I don't want any of those. I've been on other podcasts and I haven't told you guys about it. So I felt bad. Oh, I told you guys about this because it was kind of relevant to the stuff that we're into and everything. And it was fun as well. I wanted to share a fun experience, you know? Well, try not to do that.

Fuck me, I guess. You're not allowed. Your hours. Don't share positive stories with us about your life. So do you guys, you guys know Abby and Brittany, the conjoined twins, those two girls, American girls? Yeah, I saw a picture of them just today actually. There was something on Reddit about them, but I didn't read it.

So here's what it was. They had to pay for two separate college tuitions, but they only received one salary from their job. How fucked up is that? Yeah, that's fucked up. What the fuck? How- that's- that's not on. Pretty bad. So, here's another email. This is from Wolfgang. And he's a mathematician. Wolfgang Amadeus, yes. A mathematician, wow. Yeah. He says, TLDR, I am a mathematician who also finds prime number stuff boring.

And I wanted to share with you that there's actually a lot of really cool maths that the general public doesn't hear a lot about. So it's quite a long email, but I'll sum up this bit for you. First of all, the Borsig-Ulam theorem. Have you heard of this? No, no, I can't say that I have. Okay, it tells us that there is always a spot on Earth's surface such that it's exact opposite point on the other side of the world has exactly the same atmospheric pressure and temperature

as itself. Always. And that point is always moving around. So you can't track it down, but it exists. They proved it mathematically that it exists. That is, that is weird. That is weird. That's weird. What are you talking about? It's true. There are two points on exact opposite of the... So antipodal, I think it is, is when there are two points in precisely opposite directions from the center of the earth. So they are absolutely opposite points on the earth. Do you know what I can prove mathematically? That next week I'm going to say,

did we get an email from a guy called Wolfgang about math or something? Because I'll have read it on the Reddit because my brain has just shut down. Okay, gotcha. So you're saying that there's, mathematically... Yeah, they've proven it. You can look it up. There's the opposite sides at some point, or some tiny minuscule point on the Earth. The atmospheric pressure and the temperature always match of these two points. What the fuck? Yeah, I know, it's a really weird one. And it moves around.

Yeah. Just playing little pranks all the time. Yeah. A consequence of the... I don't understand how that could possibly be true. So there's something called the Brewer fixed point theorem. If you stir a cup of coffee or any liquid without spilling any, no matter how much you stir there will always be a molecule in the coffee that ends up exactly where it started

before you started stirring. The same result also has the corollary that if you lay a map of your country down on the floor of your bedroom, that there is a minuscule point on the map that exactly coincides with the point that it represents in real life on your bedroom floor. Right. I love that. Yeah. You're not interested in any of this?

What the fuck? I mean, I'm interested in it. It is kind of wreaking havoc on my small feeble mind though. No, no, no. That one makes sense to me, that last one. If you lay a map down and it's completely flat, every single molecule of that map is touching every single molecule of your bedroom floor, right? Yeah. Every single molecule of that map is touching every single molecule of your bedroom floor.

There is somewhere, one molecule, where it's exactly the place on the map. Yes, that makes sense. That's really cool. The coffee one, where you stir it, one molecule at least. One molecule will always be right back where it started. That does not make sense to me either. But that doesn't make sense to me. I don't like that. That freaks me out. That makes me think we're living in a simulation.

Mason- Okay. So, I think bearing in mind that if you look into either of these theorems, who knows how, but they've proved it mathematically. And for anybody who says, oh, well, that's not the same as the real world. The final point that Wolfgang makes is that black holes, before we actually saw one, were just predicted. I don't think I trust anything Wolfgang says now, I feel like he's making this shit up. Yeah. But carry on. You think he violated your brain in some way. I'm ready to be confused even more. So they predicted the existence of black holes purely mathematically. There was no observation that

they went based on. It was based. The mathematical understanding can often outstrip the ability to observe physical phenomena according to Wolfgang. So yeah, it's a bit mad. I thought he was going to give me a black hole fact that I was some nonsense. Because I think I can conceive of, I mean, black holes are very, some of the stuff to do with them is crazy, like the way they warp space, time. That whole thing is, that whole thing of like going close to speed of light and time changing. The way time is involved is very mind-warping. I think Interstellar explained it the best, in a really easy to digest way, with the floating library and stuff, and being stuck behind the walls and everything. When I saw that and I was like, you know what? I get it. I can't explain it, but I get it. I don't get

it. I don't know how people know any of this stuff. Like, where do you even start? Like, how did you? I think that's exactly it. You do start. Wolfgang, how did you get interested in this stuff even? You build upon it. So you start at the beginning and you work your way up and you get, it's all layers, right? It's all layers of knowledge. You have to understand everything previous to it before you could understand it. And we coming in at the top being like, duh? You tell me that when I mix my cup of tea in the morning, the molecules go back to where they were? What's a molecule?

What? You're talking about a molecule! I don't know why you're immediately for a guy that sounds like he runs a gas station. Well, I was like, I don't know. Sorry, gas station runners out there. I didn't mean to offend. It's just like, I was trying to think of the easiest, like simple folk accent that I can do just to, you know, prove the point. It is funny.

Yeah. Sorry. Sorry about that. Anyway, well, thanks, Wolfgang. Thanks for writing in. Food for thought, maybe too much. It's like a buffet of thought. All you can eat, and I'm already full.

But appreciate it. Thanks. OK, so I've got one about slot machines in pubs. Right. This is from someone who wants to remain anonymous. But they live in Australia. This lad spends his time working in the Pokeys, as they're affectionately known. The Pokeys, yeah.

I witnessed what can only be described as a sad, lonely helplessness of gambling addicts spitting away their entire paycheck day in day out. Sure, sometimes a regular bar patron would go in and have a spin with their mates, but the vast majority of the turnover was from addicts, who over the course of the evening would put many thousands of dollars in and receive a couple hundred back. All studies surrounding video gaming machines point to the fact that they create gambling addicts. In fact, 84% of revenue from slot machines comes from problem gamblers, and 14% of gamblers account for 44% of all gambling revenue. They are a stainless society and my time working in pokies has made me never want to play them in my life.

And I advise all my friends to do the same. Onto the stories. These are some of the lads, the people that you'd get in the pokies. The octopus. We had one regular patron who we referred to as the octopus, and he would set himself up between three machines and play them all simultaneously in a glorious symphony of spins. Strictly speaking, this is not allowed, but our venue owner informed us not to interfere as his $5 spins across three machines every 2.1 seconds was netting us a considerable income.

The high rollers in our venue, anyone playing $5 spins was considered a high roller. We were instructed never to charge them for drinks. Additionally, there was a small supply of party pies, sandwiches, spring rolls, etc. That were only to be brought out to the gaming floor when a high roller was playing. On one occasion, a high roller won a cool $1200. Wow. It was like, Get the bloody party pies. We got a high roller. Get out, get the bloody party pies out.

Get those, start defrosting those party pies that you cooked three weeks ago. Craigie, Craigie, you're down in the basement, but can you break out that box of party pies? It's an emergency mate, it's an emergency, there's a bloody high roller coming. It's been five Aussie dollars in a time. I'm absolutely spammish. We wouldn't have to have a party pie for me. Oh, no way. You put your fanning down on that chair, and you start playing fun. I'll bring you a free CastleMain 4X.

I'll get a shrimp off the bottom. We'll get a budding snag for you. Oh, it's heaven. Oh, Fiddlesticks, my monocle has popped out. I'm so excited. I think it's gone into one of the party parts. Oh, man. So excited. I think it's gone into one of the party bars. Oh man.

Okay so someone wants $1200. It was late in the evening and the till had run out of $50 notes. So in order to pay him, I just opened up the very machine he was gambling on and paid him a small chunk of his own money. Fuckin hell, that's funny. He had just fed about five grand into the machine. He inquired, is all that mine? To which I replied that yes, it mostly was. And he simply said, wow. Money laundering.

Many local drug dealers would come in with wads of cash to launder through the machines. The way it worked is this. You feed a thousand dollars of dirty cash into the machine. You play a five dollar spin. You press the cash out button. As the cash out was above the $200 threshold for coins. A ticket is created for a manual payout from us. Collect your $995 of clean money from the cashier station. That was quite interesting. So typically we're meant to report this to the gaming commission, but we had no real proof that these funds

were dirty and because they would always tip extremely well, everyone's turned a blind eye. Oh man. That's great. I like the octopus as well. He's like an eight year old boy with his phone and discord and an iPad and Switch. You see these kids doing like four things at once. He's just ahead of his time. Playing four games at once. I like that. There must be loads of money laundering that goes on as well. Small time. yeah. A lot of weight on that. Small time. Absolutely crazy. I mean, the thing is, it's even written on the side of the machine. The payout rate. That's what gets me about these, especially these problem gamblers for

fruit machines and stuff, is that you know that the house has an edge in things like roulette, and you know, everything actually, the house has an edge. But they roulette and everything actually. The house has an edge. But they don't put it so blatantly on the side of the machine as they do with fruit machines, where it literally says this machine pays out at 76%. Meaning that a quarter of everything you put in is gone forever and you will only ever get 75% to 76% back. So if you put a thousand pounds in, congratulations, you get $760 back and the rest of it stays in there. It's insane.

Mason- I think this is a false economy though, or whatever false thing, where the idea is that you say, well, it says that you're going to lose on the side. It's like, how can anyone not, in their right mind, decide that gambling is bad, right? It's almost like saying the same thing with smoking. It's like, well, if we tell them that it causes cancer, surely they'll stop. Appealing to their intelligence or their rationality is not why these people smoke or gamble in the first place. It's not a high percentage of people, it's a small percentage of people who are doing this. And they are usually people who are doing this gambling

because they're desperate or lonely or sad or whatever. There's some underlying problem that is always going to be there and you telling them they're going to lose is not going to change their behavior. This is why these things and these skinner boxes of games that are free to play games, they entirely function off whales coming in and giving huge amounts of money to them. The solution really is not just to tell people that they're going to lose their money, although they are. It's addressing the bigger problem. It's think, yeah, these, these, it's, it's, it's devious and it preys on, it preys on vulnerable people. And it shouldn't be, it shouldn't

be allowed. They shouldn't allow them. But I think that they're seen as a bit innocent, the pokies, right? And a bit of fun, but there's always somebody who's going to take it too far. At least with the pokies, you have to go there in person. You have to actually get them physical money. You have to feed it in. The problem with the online casinos is that this stuff is happening in the comfort of people's own homes and it's much more out of control and it's much more dangerous. So... Yeah. Agreed.

Yeah. I mean, I know a family where the husband ran up tens of thousands of pounds worth of gambling debts, had to pay them off to the point where they had to remortgage their house. And the wife, who we know at this point was like, right, we're taking away all your credit cards, no access to the bank account. You will literally have to come through me for all money. I mean, fucking, she stopped buying, which blows my mind. But the lad basically fucking ruined the financial future, just addicted to gambling on his phone. He's like just doing it all the time. But you see there's loads of stories about that.

It's terrible. So here's a follow up. I think part of it is the idea that you can win it back as well. Or that somehow karma is due. You're owed a win. I think there's a lot of fallacies around this. Oh huge amount. The sunken cost fallacy and gamblers fallacy are pretty closely related.

People just start to think they're seeing patterns, they start to think they're seeing a way, a method, a way out. And after a certain point as well they're like, well I'm in this deep, I might as well throw the rest in. Yeah. I think the other thing is, you are, just due to variance, going to have some really good days. And those are the ones that make you are, just due to variance, gonna have some really good days. And those are the ones that make you think, oh, this was just a bad day. Not, oh, this is a chronically shit way of making money, and in fact is always gonna lose over the long term. It's not like even gambling on horses or, you know, whatever it is you're gambling on,

sports and stuff. Some people can make a living from that. They're very good at it, they're very spot on the odds. And they seem so hectic though. Like, uh, I don't know if you ever saw that there was a Louis Theroux where he was following, um, a couple of people around, I think it was Vegas. I'm pretty sure. Yes. I remember that one. And, um, there was one guy who was like, he'd flown in and he was like a professional gambler and they put him in like the best suite and he's, you know, he's got all this great food that he's got access to or whatever. And like throughout the weekend, you know, you'd see him off and on.

And it was just like, it was like he was meeting a different person every single time, but it was the same guy because his like mood would just be so drastically different all the time, you know, like sometimes he'd, he'd have won and he'd be like, you know, excited. And other times he'd be like so down because he lost a lot and the end, like, you know, threatening to like cut the weekend short to go home and stuff. And it's just like, I, I, I, I understand that it's like addictive and some people get addicted to it and, and they don't have much control over that side of it or whatever,

but it just seems like such a miserable way to live as well. There's no, nothing's like, nothing's consistent, you know? It's constantly this risk, but it shows in them. They seem stressed out and kind of miserable about it, but they just can't help themselves either. I think, yeah, in a sense, a lot of the joy comes from the relief of either winning it back or not having lost, right? Like, I feel like it is a bit of an adrenaline junkie thing, but it's also this idea of you feel so bad when... I think it's a little bit like the way that when you've fallen for a scam, and we've all done it, we've all fallen for a scam and our hearts dropped, we're like,

oh God, I've got ripped off, you know, on this thing. And sometimes it's a huge thing and people are like really embarrassed and don't even admit that, you know, they were scammed by someone. I think a lot of scams that aren't admitted to because you feel stupid to have fallen for it, right? Like somehow it's your fault. You of my friends actually had someone hack their, steal their session cookie for Amazon and started refunding a load of their Amazon repurchases, getting gift cards. And they also had their session cookie for Steam and they sold their entire Steam, all their TF2 items and all their dozer items for like one penny or whatever. Jesus. their steam, all their TF2 items and all their doser items for like one penny or whatever.

And so, you know, it was like, it was like thousands of pounds they had scanned and they sort of rang up Amazon and were like, you know, this person's been, you know, doing it. And they were like, well, what, what, what could we do? Like there's nothing we could do. Just, you know, just you, you, but they felt really stupid about it and embarrassed about it. And it was like, well, this, you can't control this stuff. You know, it just happens sometimes. Like, you know, you obviously, you logged in on a PC somewhere that wasn't secure and it had some, some, some malware on it. And this shit happens. Like what can you do? What can you do? And I think like if you fall for a scam, some of them are quite complicated and some of them look super dumb and like,

yeah, they're designed for dumb people to fall for them, but some of them are, are not bad. So don't feel bad. Just and usually there's, there's, there's, there's some way to help. Like sometimes your bank will help you if you report it soon enough. You know, and that sort of stuff. So Oh God, be careful out there. Be careful. Yeah, gosh.

Yeah. Don't live in fear, but there's a lot of nasty people out there. And be sympathetic with people who've fallen for stuff like this as well, because it doesn't mean they're stupid, it just means... Everybody makes mistakes, you know? Yeah. I never do, personally, but I understand that other people would, you know. Lesser mortals, I call them.

Yeah. I think it's really easy to do. Oh, so, Mrs. F is in Japan. I think we talked about this yesterday, right? When we recorded... Yes. When she flew off yesterday. Yes.

After the podcast you showed us her sky scanner. Exactly. Very interesting. Where the plane went around certain areas of the world that are a bit dangerous right now. Now I know where she is. Japan. Simple to track her down.

Yeah, so she's there. She's doing all right. But the jet lag is pretty rough, right, as you might imagine. But I'm looking forward to seeing some more pictures. She sent us five pictures so far of toilets. Yes. Like every single time she sees a toilet in Japan, she's taking a picture of it. If someone looks at her phone, they're going to think she's got some kind of a fetish for toilets. And we've got like a little family WhatsApp group and the kids are like, why

are you only sending pictures of toilets? She just replies with another picture of a toilet. Yeah, no, they are. The toilets are interesting in Japan. I can see why she would be sending pictures of them. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Well, yeah, the jet lag is rough. It is bad. It's bad going out there. Going east is bad.

Going east is bad. Going east is bad. But going west is fine. Because you're like, oh, wow, it's 6am and I feel full of beans. Yeah. Well, that's not the good thing. It's more that the way you can get back on schedule is that it's much easier to stay up late and force yourself to stay up than it is to force yourself to stay asleep. Because that's always my problem is when I go east is I'm waking up at a fucking unbelievable

time of day. And it's like, I have to stay awake now for basically 18 hours, and it's going to be almost impossible. Whenever I fly west, you tend to be flying into slightly earlier in the day, but not massively earlier. So it's like maybe you'll land, leave here and we've landed in the States at five or six PM. You can stay up till 10 or 11 or midnight. You're almost back on course. I think that's much easier. Mason Hockerby Yes. So flying west, you can do the hard reset

of I'm going to get there. I'm going to stay up and have a drink, go out, try and go to sleep around like at least 10, you know. Oh yeah, you've got to stay up past 10. And then you wake up at like seven or six or maybe sometimes four or five in the morning. But then you've done the reset in one hard go. Yeah. And generally you'll improve an hour a day. That's pretty much how jetlag seems to, when it's nighttime, be somewhere dark. When it's daytime, be somewhere light

and your brain will make the switch. But yeah, here we go. Yeah. Anyway. She'll be all right. It's fun. She's there for like two weeks, right? It should be, once she's over it should be, should be fine. Tips for jetlag for your wife. And can I just be-

Who is not gonna listen to this podcast. No, she's not. She used to, but she be fine. Tips for jet lag for your wife. Is not a list of this podcast. She's not, she used to, but I don't know what the tipping point was, but she stopped listening. I think she found a many other better podcasts to listen to. No offense. I know. Do you know what? I don't blame her. I do. I can't forgive this. The main thing is she has to fucking listen to me record it.

So it's stupid for her to go listen to it. Yeah. She's already heard a third of it. Yeah. That's what you're saying. Yeah. So I apologize. Get over here, love.

I've popped your funny down. We'll get you a party pie. Have a bloody party pie. And you can have a go at the pokie. Yeah. Have a go at those pokies. Welcome. So come join us.

Just as a final note, I want to apologize. Apparently I called Belfast a shithole. I apologize. Right. Connell. Is it not? Well, he says it's not. Do you know what? I've never been there. Remember that time you guys were really ragging on Wisconsin?

We were. Oh, interesting. You guys got all those emails about from people. Is that how we remember it? That's how I remember it. Well, interesting. You guys got all those emails about from people. Is that how we remember? That's how I remember. Well, that's pretty sure. That's how you remember. That's interesting.

That's pretty much how it went down. Give or take. Fair enough. You know? Yeah. Oh, and of course, you know, the people pointing out that it was Barclay, not LaForge. We covered that. Yeah, we covered it.

Yeah. Sorry about that. All right. We made a Star Trek error. I apologize. Please stop. I still can't see. I still, every time I see Geordi LaForge though, I think what a pest, you know, my mind is just trained to view him that way, you know, and I think he might even be, he might be innocent. Yeah. But I've just somehow I've gotten my my wires crossed and you know, it's all on

him and I just I don't know if I can forgive. I don't know if I can accept Jordy back into my heart. You know, I've had an email from one one person telling me how to make a risotto. Oh, okay. Brother, brother, I cook more risotto's than we've done podcasts. And that's a lot of podcasts. Yeah. I need some light emailing me about how to fucking make a risotto. I'm not an idiot. Thank you.

Jason Vale I heard today that Apple and Spotify are going to punish podcasts in the algorithm if they put numbers of episodes in the title. Why? Why? Don't ask me. Jason Vale Oh, I bet I know why it is. I bet I know why it is. I bet it's because if people see an episode with a high number, they think, oh, I'm not going to bother listening to all the other ones. I think that is it. Yes. I reckon if you just put a funny title, it's going to do better. Do we still put episode numbers on our podcast? We do. Well, maybe we should think twice. I've got a business idea that's going to blow you away.

How about we stop putting numbers and just say episode and have the episode written rather than just as a number? Well, a lot of podcast feeds, certainly the one I use, my preferred one, which is Pocket Casts. Of course you have something no one's ever heard of. They still have, you still see episode numbers, but they're not in the titles. Huh. Yeah.

Maybe we should think about that. I mean, especially if the bastards at Apple and Spotify are going to fuck us over for doing it, then yeah, fine. Yeah. That's so shit. Because sometimes you really need that. Like if you're, if it is a serial that you're watching and you need to listen to more episodes. We might move the episode number to the end of the title. Yeah. Let's do that. Let's do that. Rackets 108, something like that. Yeah. That'll probably still get us punished, but I don't care.

Fuck off. Who cares? No one's listened to this anyway apart from dedicated. Well, Flax's wife used to listen to it and she's left. So I mean, well, she wants, we don't want her back. She was put off by the episode numbers. That's what she told me. Oh, there's too many episodes. Yeah. If we've already got enough problems with the jealousy situation with you being on different podcasts, it's the last thing we need is to try and bring people like coax her back as a listener. What are we going to have to do? I'm going to have to go around and bring her a party pie. What? He said he's been on other podcasts. He just won't tell us which ones. Well, that's because he doesn't want us to be jealous. You know, he's sensible. He's keeping

it secret, his affairs. What we don't know about doesn't hurt us, Sips. I would rather live in ignorance of his multiple affairs. Right. You know? Sorry. I won't tell us. I would rather live in ignorance of his multiple affairs. Right. You know, sorry, I won't tell you. I want him to be happy. I just want him to be happy. Thank you. Gosh, that's such a nice sentiment.

And we want, we want all of you to be happy too. So keep those emails coming. Thank you. I had a lot recently and I wasn't able to read them all or respond to them, but I do appreciate them all. And I do read them all. So thank you. Yes, we do want you to be happy. And if that means correcting our mistakes, so be it. If that means

stepping up on a soapbox and saying, I was wrong, I will do it. I will, I will take that fall for you. The, the brave listener. Thank you. The kind listener. You are such a hero. You know that? He really is. You are the bravest soldier I know. You know, that's so kind of you. Well, expect the knighthood to be in the mail. Oh boy. You listening? That's how they do it, isn't it?

In the mail. Just in the mail. Just like a letter from the fucking king? What the fuck? What? You open it up and it's like one of those birthday cards with a voice and it's like animated. You gotta do the thumbnail. You open the card.

You won't believe what I just received in the mail from the king. What the fuck? Tiny pop out, King Charles pops up and a little sword taps you on the shoulder. You work for me now. Oh man. on the shoulder. You work for me now, you. Do you reckon, you know, the people that he would have knighted in the past would have literally been soldiers like in his retinue, wouldn't they? He would have been able to summon them. Is there any law still now that means that King Charles could say, everyone's got a knighthood, get over here, we're forming a posse. I would like to know. That's really cool.

He wants to form an impromptu posse of knights that he himself has knighted in the past, is what you're suggesting? Yeah. I'm saying, does he want to get them all together as an army and go fuck some shit up? Well I mean, first off... Do you think the Welsh have got off too lightly? We're going to take it back. I always want the Prince of Wales.

Most of them will be in their 80s. Yeah. Let's be honest. It's gonna be like fucking the rotary club. There's some athletes on there. I think David Beckham is a knight. Is he? I'm pretty sure.

I don't think he's a knight. I think he's like an MBE or something like that. Sir David Beckham? Let me see. A career statistics honors individual. Is he like MBE or an OBE or something? He's an OBE. Yeah.

That's pretty cool. That's not a knight. Oh really? Let me see a career statistics honors individual. Is he like MBE or an OBE or something? He's an OBE. Yeah, that's not a knight. That's pretty cool. That's not a knight. Oh really? No. It's a British order of chivalry.

He's like part of the establishment now, but I mean he's not a knight, you know. He's a knight. It comprises five classes of awards across both civil and military divisions, the most senior two of which make the recipient either a knight or a dame. Right. Yeah. So I guess he is, I don't know which fucking one he's got. So David Beckham is a knight, but is he's an officer. Is Victoria, is Victoria Beckham also, has she also been bestowed the same honor?

So just to say he's not a Knight. So she's an OBE. A GBE would be a Knight or Dame of the Grand Cross. Right. A KBE or DBE would be a Knight or Dame Commander. CBE is Commander. Officer is OBE and member is MBE. So he's just an officer. So that means I think that he'd be on the battlefield, but he wouldn't be in

charge of much. Right. Yeah. I like, I love, I love the thought that when we go to war, David Beckham is going to be like the generals. They would be next to King Charles on a horse going, and he'd be like, his weather's looking a bit bright from today. And David Attenborough would say, well, here we see the enemy forces moving to our left flank. And David Jason would say, oh, bloody hell, lads. Rodney!

And then Team Rebecca would have to rally the troops. Now we're like, follow me, we've got a guy on the left flank here, got down a left wing and cut it inside. I'll kick him in the head with a football like that. That's the kind of army that King Charles is going to put together. We're just sending out our best. This is the one. All hands on deck.

Oh my god. Yo, plonk our Beckham. Rude me! I don't know how to do it David, Jason Impression. I my God. Oh God. Putin should be quaking in his boots. Send them in. Send in David Jason. Oh yeah. Send his some.

That's a, that's a, that's a games night vid right there. We put together an army. You can deploy Lord Sugar and he can lay on a carpet bombing or something. I'm laying on this minefield. It's not a good idea in hindsight. All right, let's call it there. That's an hour plus of mailmagery. Thank you so much. We'll see you guys next time.

Thank you. Bye. Bye.