Triforce! - Football chat is BANNED | Triforce #357

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

Triforce! Episode 357! Zoomer Sips doesn't have the attention span to watch a movie in one sitting, and we discover some hilarious alternate names for porn-ified franchises. Football chat ends at around 35 minutes in and we get a tiny dose of Lews News! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Oh, hey. Sorry, we missed a week. Yeah, well, yeah. What happened? I thought we had some extra ones, but I guess not.

No, you know, we'd be busy. Right. I went away. Speak for yourself. And then we did a special shoot for a week, didn't we, down here? If you haven't been busy, how can we never do a mailback? That's true. You always say, I can't do Fridays.

I'm busy. I know, well, there's always something going on on Friday for some reason. Between 10 and 11? Yeah, yeah. Reschedule that shit. No, but it's like prime time for like appointments and stuff. That is when the workmen turn up. That is.

Yeah, they love turning up. And for me, I'm obviously on the office on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and this week on Mondays. So Thursdays, I'm sitting next right now. There's a man coming in like 10 minutes. Right. But my partner's going to have to let him in, hopefully. I mean, yeah. You both have other people around the house that can let people in.

But she's not always around. You know, she's got her own life. She's doing her own thing. Well, tell her she's not allowed to have her own life and she's not allowed to do her own things. Yeah, does she have a relationship with you. She's in a relationship with you. She does what you want when you want. Yeah.

Does she have a fucking podcast? No. No. That's what I thought. Do you ever, guys, do you ever get told by people you should have a project manager or you should have a personal assistant or something like that? I get told this. I never get told this.

I've been told this. I've been told this weekly by someone. You have things to do. Me and Sips just live in our homes. And what's my personal assistant is, is like my family reminding me to eat and cook dinner and, you know, one second. Sorry,

I have to take a phone call. He's got to take a fucking phone call. Maybe he does need like a personal assistant. I mean, maybe he's gone to that point in his life. I never even considered having one. Like I used to, we used to get a cleaner in every once in while.

But that was like 10 years ago. We still get a cleaner. We don't even have a cleaner, nothing. We do have a window cleaner. That is like a must. I get the kids to do the windows. Oh, my God. I can't do them, and I wouldn't want my kids to do them either.

Especially now that we got a third floor because of the loft conversion, it's pretty high up. I wouldn't want anyone up there. What I found was that if you pay them enough, they'll go up the rickettiest ladder imaginable. Yeah. I don't send my kids out a lot. If you've got reversible like vellux windows, you can just clean both sides from inside. And yeah, it works.

My office window is pretty grubby. You got some Velix windows up in your, up on your top there. They're nice, eh? You get the swivel, like you said, you can wash them, the outside and the inside if you just open them up. We get our carcher. By the way, don't email me, Germans, about the fact that it's not pronounced carcher. It's pronounced Karka or whatever. I don't give a shit, all right?

It says Karcher on the box. I'm going to say Karcher. I'm not German. I'm not German. I'm not in Germany. If I say to someone, it's a carcher window. The same goes for everyone calling me out for saying Keensham. Don't, who cares?

Do you know, is sourcrow is a German thing, right? Sourcrow. Yeah. Okay. Have you ever had it before? Yeah, I love it. Right. Okay.

Because we bought some today because my wife's like, oh, apparently it's really good for your gut bacteria, all this stuff. And I was like, well, I tried it before. and it actually tastes like shit. Like I would not eat that. And you can't just get like a little jar. You have to get like a fucking, it's like a barrel of sourcrow.

Like, and my wife's never had it before. So she's like, oh, am I going to like this? I'm just thinking, well, I fucking hope so because we got like a barrel of it now.

Like, you can get smaller, smaller jar. I'm a greater money, lady. Jesus. I mean, it is really good.

I, Captain Cook, my hero Captain Cook, took it on his voyages. I eat a lot of this. I ate lot of kimchi as well. Is kimchi like the same thing? It's just like pickled cabbage, basically. Yeah. It's just like the Korean version with a bit of spice in it.

It's got spicy. It prevents scurvy. If you're on a long sea voyage, you take soudkraut. It will prevent scurvy. Do you think people still get scurvy? Like if they go on a cruise or whatever, do you think scurvy is still? Yeah, you can. I know you can. I know anyone can get it, but I'm just saying, like,

Is it like a very real threat like in 2026 for people who go cruising and stuff? No, but it's more like people that have terrible diets that look after themselves. Right. Right. Right. So I know that in Korea they have kimchi fridges, right, where they keep their kimchi. And I obviously eat quite a bit of kimchi. And I was like, it doesn't smell that bad.

And I was like, why would they have their own fridge for it? My partner started making her own kimchi in these jars. And she cracks open that jar. and oh my god it like gasses the kitchen and it's absolutely i cannot eat it because it smells so bad right and i sort of said to her like are you sure this isn't like moldy or like something wrong with it she's like no no this is like just how it's how it smells when you make it yourself like and and i can't eat it her her kimchi it's so stinky but there are so many versions of sauerkraut sips and i mean i remember i'm sure you'll be able to find one that you're like it's a little bit like olives or

whatever, you know, like you try it. You might have tried some olives and you're like, oh, these disgusting. Then you, other olives are completely different. So I love olives. I love kimchi and I love salachron. I remember when I was younger, occasionally my, uh, my grandma would come over to stay with us, look after us. Like my parents went somewhere or whatever. And, um, she was like, she wasn't like, the most amazing cook. But she, you know, she, she made like, good meals and stuff. I remember like, like, like, enjoying, like the food that she made. And whatever. Sometimes. she would bake a bit or whatever. But very occasionally she would like boil.

I don't know why she was boiling cabbage. There was some reason for it, but she would boil cabbage. And it honestly smelled like somebody, like she just put some gym socks into a pot and started boiling it. Like the smell was just disgusting. But I don't know what she was using it for, but I just remember every once in a while, I'd get home and I'd be like, oh my God, fucking stinks in here.

I think a lot of people find the smell of cooking cabbage very objectionable. I think it's just one of those smells. Yeah, it's just one of those. And I don't actually mind cabbage. I love cabbage. But, yeah, just the smell of it boiling is just... Yeah, it's not great. It must be some chemical that is released or broken down or something.

Yeah, yeah, maybe something like that, eh? It does have an old, musty, farty odor. But I fucking love cabbage. I guess some cabbage, steam it, some butter and some pepper on there. Oh, that sounds good, actually. Yeah, that does sound nice. I feel like just, yeah, most of the taste of that comes from the melted butter and the, I mean, you could put anything in melted butter.

Yeah, melted butter is just pretty good, eh? Just take a dog turd and then, like, you know, put it a bit melted butter or a little bit of salt pepper. What if you got like a frozen dog turd from outside and then you poured melted butter on it and then it like warmed up the shit? That's like that would create an aroma, wouldn't it? Yuck. Oh, lovely. I hate animal. Animal poop.

Disgusting. Yeah. Do you know what I was reading about this week? I was reading about, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole reading about castaways, like famous castaways. like famous castaways. Yeah. Oh, fun. And one of the ones I settled on,

first of all, there have been some wild stories back in the day. Like, if you look at the castaway, list of castaways on Wikipedia, there's some pretty wild ones. A lot of them are from a long time ago and you think,

how true is this? You know what I mean? This seems a bit mad. Some of them. But this one is about a guy called Otokichi, also known as Yamamoto Otokichi. And later,

John Matthew Otterson. Guess what happened to him at that point? He got taken to him. the UK, so they called him John instead. Right. He basically, he was crew on a rice transport ship that got blown off course, and it drifted for 14 months across the Pacific Ocean.

14 months, during which they lived on seawater and the rice in their cargo. Several of them died of scurvy. Only three people in this crew survived. He was one of them, was 15. And he became this sort of, this really fascinating figure where he went to the, you know, Europe. He wanted to go home, but they took him to Europe because they had this trade that they were trying to sort out with the Japanese. So they were going to use him as like this middle guy sort of thing. And he basically ended up, I think, going almost all the way around the world.

But the craziest thing is he builds up this life for himself, then he settles in Singapore and marries this woman in Singapore and he has this. It's a pretty good life for a lad that spent 14 months to see. But they made it into a film. But the film starred Johnny Cash. Why is Johnny Cash in this film. Hi, I'm Johnny Cash. I'm Johnny Cash. I'm Johnny Cash. I'm in Cash away for 14 months. I just don't understand why Johnny Cash is the chosen actor.

He was a big deal back in the day. He was a really big deal. You could cast him in other things. So the film was actually called, they renamed it Adrift at Sea, which is an obscure sort of Japanese movie, Johnny Cash in 1983. So it's an obscure, it's a Japanese film that they also managed to get Johnny Cashin. I guess at that point maybe he's doing anything. Right.

I just, I would love to know more about this. Yeah, that is so strange. So that is, yeah, it says he made a highly unusual obscure acting appearance in this Japanese drama film. He must have been paid well to do it. Like, there's no other reason why he would just suddenly appear in a. But it's one of the earlier movies that he did. It's like. Or maybe.

Maybe he just thought, I really want to be an actor and I want to get into this and I'll just take whatever comes my way sort of thing. Speaking of old movies, I've been watching piecemeal. I've been watching like maybe 20 minutes of it every night. And it's a three-hour film, but it's a classic. The good, the bad and the ugly. You remember that one? Oh, man. It's so good.

Why are you watching it in 20-minute chunks? Well, because I don't want to sit there for three hours and watch the whole thing. and I just kind of watch it while I'm waiting for like my daughter to brush her teeth or like, you know, like I'm watching it like in between things happening sort of thing, you know. Like it's a serial. That's just so strange. Yeah, I know. It is odd, but it's, I'm getting through it. And I've enjoyed it as well.

You watched it like it's like it's a series of TikToks. Yeah, yeah. I forgot how much I like that movie. It's, it's really good. It's just a, I mean, the soundtrack is a classic, but. Of course. But the, you know, like the film itself, I mean, it came out in 68. So it's, it's an old one.

So close. So close. It's really good. I watched the backrooms movie the other. Oh, how was that? Did you? Really, really good. Yeah, I heard that it's good.

Yeah, I really enjoyed it. Went with my youngest and snuck her in because it's obviously it's a 15. They don't give a shit about it. No, no. 15. 15 and they don't care. Also, she's super tall. So they would.

18, maybe they wouldn't care. But a 15. When was the last? experience, I find they don't care much about 15. Also, I don't think they really make many 18s anymore. I feel like it's one of the rarer designations for a movie and 18. I see a lot of 15s and unders, but anyways, back in the day, this would have been an 18. I'll tell you what, because there's like gore in it and everything, but it was really, really quite unsettling.

And they managed to carry the original sort of meme up to the screen in a way that I felt hasn't really been done well before. that someone has the kernel of a decent idea and then tries to expand on it and it fails horribly. This was a really interesting premise and I've beautifully done and amazing sets and really atmosphere, great performance from Chiawechia 4 and everything.

Really good. Recommend it. Yeah, I heard it's good. Yeah, I've heard in many, many cases that it's a good one. The really interesting thing I heard about it was obviously the guy who directed it was this YouTuber who made a viral web series before.

By the way, I don't think he directed, directed. Like, I don't think he directed. The way that you might think, like, you know, oh, James Cameron directed. I think he was more a vibes-based director, and they had, like, a proper director of photography and stuff to do the shots. Because I thought, it's all very well doing a YouTube series, but some of these shots are very, very well-constructed and well-shot and blocked and everything. And as far as I know, he has no experience whatsoever. This felt like a very professionally made film. So I don't think he was just like, okay, yeah, little kid, you get to direct it.

I think he was like there as an advisor directly created. He's 20. He's 20 years old when this happened. Yeah. So he was born in 2006? Madness. Apparently. Well, he started doing like, you know, the web series in 17, I guess, you know.

I was reading this thing where this, a guy was saying that like, you know, for a guy who wasn't born in, you know, the 80s or the 90s, he kind of captured like the, like the feel of it very well in like the yeah because it's like the whole thing is about like like like liminal spaces and stuff like that right like yeah yeah it's all like like uh like this like obsession with like um you know like those ikea the little the little like quadrants that they do like when they're showing off furniture and stuff like that you know they they set like a little scene or whatever but it's like just like on a bigger scale but there's lots of like long beige hallways apparently and uh like nothing happening but there's like you're kind of like waiting for something to

happen and it's like tense or whatever. I haven't seen it. I'm only going by what I've read, but this person that was saying this about the movie was saying like he he's managed to like capture some some things that really I was nostalgic about in the 80s and 90s, but like he wasn't even alive during those either of those eras, you know, which I found interesting. I mean, I haven't seen the movie again, but I should, I'll watch it in 20 minute chunks at some point, I'm sure. I can't get that. That's the way to experience so old content now.

He's just stood up eating a sandwich. Where was I? Yeah, fuck, I don't even care. Kind of sad. I hate that. I really hate that. Why do you hate it? It's fine.

It makes me sad. You can't just sit and watch the film. No, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

Listen, I, people, people have changed, okay? Like, you don't have to, I, I drove by a guy the other day who I recognized. because I think he's potentially been to my house to do work or whatever. And multiple times I've driven by his house. I didn't know he lived there, but now I know. I've driven by and he's always outside and he's always on his phone. And I think he just watches TV on his phone outside, like right out front of his house. But he looks really like content doing this.

You know what I mean? I mean, he couldn't do that in the 80s or the 90s. You just didn't have the means to do it unless you, you know, you plugged in your TV. to a socket in your house on an extension cable and had a big, you know, CRT, like a big massive boxy TV outside, which would look weird, right? But now you can do it. And this guy just seems to be living the life, you know? He's, I don't know what he's doing.

Like, he's maybe just watching some sports or like the news or something. He's definitely watching something, though. He's not just like. He's watching pornography. He's not watching pornography out front of his house. He is. He can't do it inside. Right.

So he's going, he's choosing, he's opting to go outside into. a public space out front of his house to watch porn. Yeah. It's a common thing. Is this any different to you? Listen, imagine this, right? Imagine this world. Sips is a dad walking around doing dad things.

Like, you know, his kids are screaming in the background. He is that. And the chaos is around him, right? He's waiting for a kid in a toy shop to pick out a toy. He's waiting in the kid to finish on the trampoline or whatever, or go down the slide. He's got five minutes here, five, ten minutes there. Imagine in a world he pulls out a book in those little breaks and reads a book.

Most people would do that. You see that often. We wouldn't judge, we don't judge the way that people consume books in dribs and drabs and tiny moments here and there. Hold on, hold on, hold on. When they don't sit down and treat a movie with the respect it's due. It takes an hour and a half or two hours to watch the film. If you have to break it into two viewings, that's one thing.

It takes a long time to read a book. You have to break it up. Are you saying that you can't? Imagine a short story. It does if you do it 20 minutes per day. It's going to take you weeks. Imagine a novella, right? Would you say you can't read a novel?

You have to read a novella in one go. Yeah. No, I'm not. I'm not saying that at all. Is that what you're saying? That's like saying, oh, he, why don't you do a, oh, fuck it. You know what I'm saying. I know.

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just making. I'll just wave my arms in real life and foaming at the mouth. I just, to me, watching it literally just in on your phone, I guess, in 20 minute chunks. Is that the original vision of the director? Probably not. No. But having said that, do you think that the original director of that porno envisaged a guy sitting out front of his house in public watching said porno? Probably not.

Probably not. He was like, but you're missing out on the whole plot? Yeah. He's probably like, this guy's going to be in a dungeon. jerking off. That's what, jerking off in some dungeon somewhere. I have seen people watch porn in public. Have you?

You can't see their phone. Yeah. Like on trains on a plane? I've never seen that before. They're not jerkling. They're just watching it. They're just watching it. They're taking notes.

They're just like, trying to learn some new moves or something. Interesting. Like what they did there. That's really weird, isn't it? What do you think the director was going for here? Hmm. Like, just watching it.

I'm like, I don't understand what, you wouldn't just watch it. It would be like cooking a meal. In like 20 minute chunks. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever watched a full porno before. Like, how long are they typically? Because I don't know. I usually watch like a minute or two and move on, you know.

I just watched the storyline part of the beginning. That's enough for me. Skip to the end. I'm only interested in the ending. I just want to see what happens. I'd like to imagine there's some guy watch out there who's like, I need to finish that porn out. I didn't know how, I didn't find out how it ended.

You know what I mean? Like he thinks it's going to be like a surprise ending at the end of the porno. Yeah, I was watching it was good. It was 25 minutes song. Around a time because I can only watch it in 20 minute chunks. I'd love to know how it ended. I'd have to finish it off on the bus.

Are you guys familiar with the rapper MF Doom? Yeah. May he rest in peace? He had a couple of alter egos, but one of his alter egos was King Giedera. And he had an album, a King Gidera album. And there's a song on it. called phasers. Okay. And if you ever listen to the song, it's a great, it's a great track. But if you ever try to find, because with hip hop, you may do this or you may not,

but sometimes you're interested to know what was sampled, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. For like a, for a hip hop track. So this one is a, is a weird one because nobody can find the sample. Oh. It's definitely not an original sound. It is, it's definitely from some sort of movie or something because it's quite a orchestral sample, but nobody can find it. And people have found bits and pieces that they think is it, but they never, they never quite sound right, you know. And I mean, with samples, it's weird. There's like a lot of chopping, speeding up, slowing down, reversing. You can do a lot of stuff to a sample, you know, like famously, there's some really amazing songs where they've done that. They've taken like a very, like, you know, a recognizable

snippet of a song, but then altered it so that you would never know that it was from that song kind of thing. But then people have figured it out. But anyway, back to this song. This song phasers and the sample that's the main sort of looping sample that's used in the song, nobody can find it. Everybody's been looking for it. I mean, the song came out in like 2006 or something. It's been out for a long-ass time. Still nobody can find the sample. And then recently somebody came across an interview that MF Doom did years and years and years ago that everybody thought was just, you know, lost to whatever, you know, it was this obscure interview that he did over the phone and the quality is not great or whatever. But he mentions that the song, the song sample was

taken from like some obscure 1970s porno that is probably just lost now. Like it's just, it's just, it's just lost forever media. Nobody will ever be. able to find this sample. I just thought it was kind of cool. I just thought it was really neat. And the song is amazing, too. But the fact that this mystery sample will just never be figured out, I think it's so cool. How many of these things have been lost?

I mean, obviously, culturally speaking, some 1979 porno, you know, it's not going to, it's not like a loss to culture and humanity. But equally, it is now. Big Swin Jugs 29. I know. Back in the day, to get a hold of a porno in the first place, you could rent them. You could watch them in a theater. Sometimes you could rent them in the adult section of a video store.

They had some. Did they have VHS in 1970? But oftentimes, I think the way that people had porn personally was on copied VHS tapes, right? you're like your friend's dad would have a couple of you know unmarked tapes hidden away in his in his workshop or something like that that you'd come across and sure enough they'd be pornoes you know you'd find the stash that was that was a that was a big thing but like i i can see how easily it would it would be it would be to just lose this stuff you know it's it's it's kind of like forgotten about media it was probably forgotten about even in the 80s you know what i mean like yeah it was probably

never like a big, you know, famous. It wasn't like a Debbie Does Dallas, you know, it was just like an obscure-ass porno that everybody forgot about. And, uh, and now it's just like lost in, lost in time. I just, I thought it was so interesting. That is interesting. That is interesting. Yeah. So porno strikes again. That's a really cool. Yeah. Shaping young lives. I'm, uh, I'm looking at a list of, of, of porno, um, parodies. Right. Which is one of one of my favorite subcategories. Shaving Ryan's privates, forest hump. So these are some more recent ones. This is hand solo.

Hand solo, of course. Yeah, the solo, yeah. Game of bones, a little, little obvious there. Right, yeah. This is American Dad X, X, X, X, X, X, X is a weird one for sure. So, you know, Shark Nado? Yeah. What about Skank Nado?

The cover is a bunch of naked women in a tornado. The Big Bang Theory, which is of course a sex movie. Die hard. Sankniko is great. Die hard. You have to pre you have to, you have to like enunciate it differently, right? Like you have to like die hard. Die hard.

Yeah. Captain America X, X, X, X, X, X, which is just he's got the exact look of Captain America, but I guess he fucked somebody. He's just got a dick hole in his suit so that his boner can poke out. Star Wars, the last temptation. Star Wars is just too, like, I think they've been doing porno parodies of Star Wars forever, basically. I think that was probably like maybe even the first porno parody, right?

Like Star Wars, everybody would dress up as Luke and Leia and then just start wailing away on each other or whatever. Because, I mean, Star Wars came out a long time ago too, right? It did, 1979. It's the original Rule 34. Yeah. This ain't modern family. So the modern family sitcom they've made into a porno.

Anything like that, you think, oh, my God, this is all going to be incest porn. Batman versus Superman. I assume that's a... I thought that would have been a gay porno, but it's not. There's Wonder Woman. I guess they just a bit of double pen on Wonder Woman there. Austin Powers, Triple X. I mean, that's basically the movie right there.

Lots of Star Wars ones. Anchor Woman, so it's Anchorman, but... I mean, why didn't they call her Wanker Woman? That would have been way better. It's right there. It's just gazing at you. It's just staring right in your damn face. They did a Simpsons one.

They've got Peter Pan, but they could have been like Peter Spank or something like that or, you know, something. Yeah. Not as good as the other one. No. Wow. These actually, they just stick triple X after it and they can get away with it apparently. Yes. Yeah.

I think that's when they can't think of a clever title. They just put triple X so that you know what you're getting into. to. Scooby-Doo, Triple X, I really hope the dog is not in this movie. That would be, whew, that's a questionable way. It would probably be somebody dressed up as a dog, though, right? It wouldn't be the actual dog. Or a CGI dog.

A CGI dog. So, you know, what about the Wolf of Wall Street? They just called it the whore of Wall Street. Oh, man. I'm not even trying. No. What about tits are. wonderful knife,

life instead of it's a wonderful life. I love that. Tits a wonderful wife. It's a wonderful life. Oh my God. That's a good one. Yeah, I mean, oh God.

I think we obviously do miss this. Like, you know, modern, modern movies, the back rooms, I guess it would be the back shots. Back doors. The back shots. Yeah.

It would be, there'd be, people would still be doing it if, if we didn't have, there's enough. There's enough of it. on the internet now. You don't need to like have it acted out. Do they actually attempt to carry on the plot? What about this is a good one? 10 inch mutant ninja turples. That's so good. God, that's a good one. Man, that's good. The Lego movie is the

Lego movie, which is terrible. That doesn't make any sense at all. Oh, that's funny. Oh, they did a next gen parody? Hell yeah. Star Trek next generation, a triple X parody. I'm down for that. The, porno parodies have always been, uh, been pretty funny though.

The titles. I mean, Bob's burgers is Bob's Boners here. That's fine. Yeah. It's just funny. I love the idea of some lads sitting around in an office somewhere. They,

you know, slightly run down office because porn doesn't make that much money. I don't think. And, uh, it's got to make some. It must make some. It's just like,

rogue one has become rogue cum. Of course. Of course. Just come up with that and laughing themselves silly. Of course it. Pulp friction. That's the pulp fiction. Yeah.

Pulp friction. That's a pretty good one. Oh, man. That's funny. Hey, if you find some good ones, send them in to the trifles podcast. We'll do a whole mailbag on this easily. We'll do a porn mail bag. God, we could talk about this for hours.

Have you guys switching, switching subjects? You'll enjoy the segue. Have you guys got World Cup fever? Oh. Is football coming out of every one of your pores right now? Let me stop you right there, bud. Have you listened to the radio recently for all the three lines on a shirt? Why are you doing this?

Well, why are you talking about football on the TriForce podcast? You're not allowed to do that. That's the World Cup though. I mean, you're not allowed to do that. Yeah, I know, but it's the World Cup. You're allowed to talk about the World Cup. If you want that heat, good luck to you. Well, okay.

Well, I'm just saying. I'm just saying, I completely forgot that it was the World Cup this weekend. Football chat stops at 3147. It starts tonight. It starts tonight. I think the first game is... Oh, God, he's still talking about football. Someone tell me when it ends.

Mexico against South Africa. Who do you think is going to win? Oh, God, he's still talking about football. Oh, I have to listen to something I'm not into for two minutes. Oh, God. We can't help it. It permeates our culture. What if you are listening to this podcast in 20 minute chunks

and then you hit this one? It's a chunk that you could skip, right? You could just skip this chunk. I'm skipping this chunk. Three was especially poor. They mentioned football three times. Oh, God. Do you have anything to say then Sips? Go on.

Get it out. No, that's it's something that's a big event happening this week. I thought I'd mention it. I know Flax will watch it. Will you watch any of it? of it, Lewis? Not really? You're not, not a football fanatic? I'm not either. I don't. I dabble. You really have to like kind of have your head in the sand not to, you have to make an effort to avoid it really. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise you just sort of end up learning vaguely what's going

on the whole time. Yeah. Which is fine. I'd love to talk about it, lads, but I'm sorry my hands are tied. His hands are tied. Okay. You can't talk about the listeners have. He doesn't want to talk about whether the England squad has a chance. How about we do five minutes of football chat? Oh, no. Five minutes. The boneheads on Reddit. The bone heads on YouTube comments section can't handle it because they're giant babies. So I refuse to talk about.

You guys want to talk about football. That's on you. If you want that smoke, you're welcome to it. We can talk about all the ludicrous displays that we witness while we're watching the World Cup of football. Do you think there'll be another FIFA peace prize given out during the World Cup? Or do you think there's only one? I've stopped. I've stopped so many football.

football tournaments dead in their tracks. I've sold so few tickets. It's the best. We've got so many tickets now. Ready to go. So many hotel rooms unbooked. And so few train tickets because we don't have any trains. We got rid of them.

Sleepy Joe, it's sleepy trains. Sleepy Joe is sleepy trains. What does Trump think about football? Does he tell what it is? Soccer. Yeah, don't. Don't be so disrespectful to their culture.

It's soccer, okay? I call it sucker. It sucks so bad. I can't stand it. It's the worst game ever. They think they're so clever those Europeans with their football, that tippy-tappy football, bouncing it on their heads, like train seals. Didn't you say that they were good, that he wanted to rename American football because it doesn't make sense?

Yeah, he's nuts, dude. I mean, I know, you know. Imagine what would they rename American football to, though? What could you call it? Said that because I think Gianni and Fantini was in the room, the head of... See, where now you've got me talking about fucking football. Look, no, no, we're not. I didn't start this conversation.

See, I think American football is a bit more like rugby than it is football. Of course it is. So what they could maybe just call it like rugball or something, you know, like... Rugball. Well, whatever. That sounds like a porn parody of rugby. It's not even close to football, though, is it? Like, they call it football.

What about American rugby? Generally, the foot is not touching the ball in that game. Rugby isn't just called rugby. It's called rugby football. That's the actual name of rugby. They love having the word American in stuff, though. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't see why they will change it.

But they don't refer to it as American football. They just call it football. No, of course they don't. But they could call it proud to be an American football. Or they call it NFL football sometimes. You'll hear them say NFL football. Or if you're in Canada, CFL football, they'll call CFL football sometimes. Which were all the players that got injured or dropped by their teams go to play.

in the Canadian League. Yes, I go to play for the Montreal Alouettes or, oh no, I don't even think that's football actually. Toronto Argonauts. I mean, we had the Ottawa Rough Riders back in the day. I don't even know if they still exist, but. That name sounds lame. What, the Ottawa Rough Riders?

It sounds pretty bad. Oh man, that was so good. They used to play in a place called Lansdowne Park, which was, it looked like something out of the Soviet Union. Like it was an outdoor football field and it just had like these two giant triangular stands that were made entirely of cement. And it just looked so depressed. I don't know if it's still like that or not. It's been a long time since I'm looking at it. It's pretty.

It's bleak. Wow. They've got these giant skyscrapers just outside the ground as well. Oh, do they now? No, that's what they're planning or something. Oh, that's what they're planning. It lands down 2.0. Oh, wow.

Gosh. So it sounds like possibly. it has not changed much since when I was a kid. They used to have a yearly summer fair there called The X, but I don't even know if that is still going either. So, you know, I was looking up the Forbes list of the most valuable sports teams in the world. Right. Okay. And it's all American stuff down to number 20 when it's Real Madrid.

Right. And the Dallas Cowboys, who, as far as I know, haven't won shit in a very long time, They were big in the 80s. They were big in the 90s in the 80s. I don't did they've won anything in a very long time. Remember the Raiders as well? The L.A. Raiders? Yeah.

I don't know if they're, I don't even know if they're still around, but I remember the hats. The Raiders don't exist anymore, I don't think. Because they became the Oakland Raiders and then became something else. It's not the L.A. Raiders anymore. No. Now it's the L.A. Rates. Oh, they're in Las Vegas now. Yeah, they're in Las Vegas.

Oh, right. Do they still have the same logo and stuff? I think so. Like the Oakland Athletics baseball team. See, now you've got us talking about sport. Yeah, yeah. I used to like the A's. Jose Canseco used to play for the A's back in the day.

So, yeah, the top 20 most valuable sports teams, it's all NFL and NBA. And then the Dodgers are in, and the Dodgers and the Yankees are in there. Now, I think a lot of Americans would assume that this means, they might reasonably assume, oh, that means that everybody around the world must be watching the Dallas Cowboys. But we're not. I don't think the NFL and the NBA does okay outside of America, but the NFL is really not that widely watched compared to football. They're trying to appeal outside of America. Yeah, but the TV money is so huge that all of these big NFL franchises are worth a fortune just because of the TV money. It's a bit like when you look at the esports, like richest esports players and how the much they've made money, Dota is number one. But it's not because Dota is the biggest game. It's because Valve put all that money. money in back in the day, that's all it is. I think it's the same thing.

It's still quite big though, Dota. Nah. Like, I don't know. I mean, it's still, like, watched on Twitch and stuff. It's still big as big as it was. It's still a big category. The player base is okay, to be fair, for a game as old as it is, but it's not, it's not like it's, you know, I mean, the biggest one is PubG Mobile.

That's the biggest one. Millions of people watch that. PubG Mobile. Yeah. So it's huge in Southeast Asia, huge, huge, huge, huge. I was talking about this, I was explaining this to some of the the other day that what happened with esports is that, I don't know if you guys remember, but about 2015, 2016 or so, everybody thought this was going to be the next big thing. And you had Twitch

was a relatively new platform that was growing, e-sports, there were all this e-sports broadcaster, all this money sloshing around. And people looked at the line going up and thought that will never stop, like typical shit. People see a line going up and they think this will never, ever come down again. But the differences between traditional sports and e-sports is that if I play baseball when I'm eight years old, I can still watch pretty much the exact same game when I'm 68 years old and I've got a lifetime of watching that game, right? Oh, I see. But if I'm playing Valorant when I'm 15, when I'm 45, I'm not watching Valorant anymore because it's something else and I didn't play that game so I don't like it, so I'm not going to watch it. So you have these

sort of cohort audiences that follow one particular game and because there's so many different games and people are drawn to different things, you haven't got one solid superstar that everybody watches, unless you go to certain countries. You've got a career, it's sarcastic. It's complicated, right? I still think a lot of e-sports

is actually presentation-based, right? Like, I think that, obviously, you have to be into the game in the first place, but I also think that anyone, I remember going to Bliscon, and everyone, for some reason, or piling in watching StarCraft 2 tournaments, stuff that we'd never watched, really,

outside of it. But we all had a great time, watching because it's a great, great fun game to watch. There was an exciting, like, there was exciting energy around it. There was an audience. Like there was, there was, I don't know, and it's very tribal, right? The World Cup, football, all these sports, you know, you feel the highs and the lows. We talked about it a lot. And I think it's no different. I think anything can be an esport, any game, if it's presented in the right way. I would watch, you know, and I do. And YouTube has somewhat replaced it. You see something crops up to me and it's some guy doing some challenging

Factoria or some guy I do interchange in the game I've heard of. Or it's even like the geoges of competitions and stuff when they did that. Exactly. Or something interesting in a game. You sometimes have never heard of. And it's impressive and it's cool. And you want to see these people do. And esports often is that, right?

People are at the top of their game, really showing like some crazy, like playing the game in ways you've never seen before. And it's exhilarating. It's different. And it's, it's, it's, that's just how content works and attention works. Right. And we, we flit around looking at stuff. these days. Sorry I haven't had much to say today. I think I've done for the last couple of weeks,

obviously after I came back from America, we've done a lot of, I've done a lot of things. I've been busy every fucking day. But so we did this great, great shoot. I'm trying to cut away from the porn chat again. Don't go back down that road. We're not showing anything. If people can't even stand to hear the word, get a fucking grip. Jesus. People don't want to hear that. They don't want to talk about that. Oh, they said the word porn. Oh, no. And they said the word. Some people listen to this podcast with their pastors at Sunday school. We have to keep it clean. It's true.

As part of the prayer group this week, I thought we'd listen to a podcast that I'm quite a fan of called the Tri-Force podcast. In a much the same way that God the Father, God the Son, and of course God the Holy Spirit form a Trinity. So too do the three triangles of Sips Lewis and unfortunately Perrin is also on the podcast. They form a Trinity. It talks about football a bit too much It does a little bit too much But they generally keep it quite light and funny I like to indulge in a bit of comment leaving on YouTube

So it's my displeasure Let's hold hands And listen to the poker Oh my God, they're talking about pornography Everybody, cover your ears Cover your eyes, oh my goodness Pray Everybody is the worst than it's not

If he starts talking about football again Oh God he's talking about porn and football This is, I'm sorry Lord forgive me If I ever know, if I know anything about priests, they're probably the most, you watch the most porn. You know, they're probably the export. Yeah, do you know a lot of priests who just watch a ton of porn? You know a lot of priests, do you?

I think, you know what it's like, though? They're the biggest, you know, people. No, what is it like? I'm not sure what it's like. Yeah, you have to explain this. Well, the guys you appear to be the most innocent and most, you know, are the most are actually the deep, most deviant dirty motherfuckers ever. He's probably into like some, all the priests are into like the weirdest kinky shit, I can tell you. Well, that's what it's like when you hear about the Mormons.

I've got my latex pole robin. Well, because like the UTC, don't you? With, when they release these statistics of like which states are watching what kind of porn. And with Utah, it's like the Mormon state. It's like the grossest stuff, you know, they're into like fucking shitting on each other and stuff. It's like as bad as it gets, you know? They're all obsessed. So, I don't know.

Like, I feel like, anyway, and then I've done a load of stuff. I went to my, but it's hard to talk about. Oh, I can't talk about it on the podcast, you know, because it's family stuff or like stuff going on with the house. I don't want to reveal where I am. I don't want to reveal. I don't really want to shout out any tradesmen, even though most of the tradesmen have been great.

Right. I don't feel comfortable. I don't know. I feel like I've always been very public about, my life on this podcast. And that's often, it's not necessarily upset, but it has caused friction in the past when it needn't have. But now I'm like reeling from it a little bit. Pulp friction or just normal? If I can't talk about it, then what am I supposed to talk about? So basically, guys, what I'm saying is we need to go back to the World Cup and talk about.

No, no, I've got something else we can talk about. Me too. Over the weekend, it was our local. elections, which let me tell you was insane. On an island of 100,000 people, what do you think the average voter turnout is like? 40,000 people. 100,000 people on this island. 40%, 40%. Oh my God, nowhere, you're nowhere close.

We're talking like 1, 2%, like the amount of votes that people get like 1,000. Like, I think nobody turns up. Like nobody turns up. It's insane. Like the turnout is so abysmally low. Like it's just, it's ridiculous. Everybody you talk to you, you're like, oh, did you vote? No.

No. No. Like, they changed it. So this, this election cycle, they put in some legislation to have the voting day on a Sunday because turnout is so abysmal normally. And they thought that numbers would go up. And they did a little bit. But we're still talking like the person, okay, so you, the way that it was.

works over here is you have a state's assembly, right? Which is you have senators in it. You have a chief minister who is voted by the senators, not by the public. So the senators... I forgot what you've said already. The whole assembly will vote for a chief minister who is typically a senator but then just becomes like the like the main guy if you like. And he has a special jersey hat. All 12 parishes are represented by deputies. So, bigger parishes will have multiple deputies and smaller parishes will have, you know, a single deputy. And then some of the bigger parishes also have a constable who is kind of like, um, it's like the wild west. It's like the good, the bad and the ugly. I'm no deputas you. The constable will do things

like, um, uh, sort of like oversee the works in the parish. You know, so like, you know, they'll vote for like a new park and the constable will then be responsible for like making the park happen. You know, You'll have to like... Porn parody name, the constable. Constable, yeah. Nice. So in your parish, you can vote for deputies. And I live in a parish where there's three.

So we had a choice of five and three got in. But some parishes had uncontested candidates running, okay? But they put in new legislation this year as well so that you could vote for none of the above, basically, because it's unfair. If nobody else is running and one person is just like, I'm running and they get it, you might not want that person. You might not want anyone. So you can vote for none of the above. And so some of the parishes where somebody ran uncontested and won, they got like a thousand votes to win.

But then there was like 500 votes for none of the above. So it was like kind of close. They almost just didn't elect anyone into position. Oh man. it was so funny. But like we, we made a point to, um,

to, to, to sort of, uh, get involved this year. We wanted to like, find out about candidates. We,

we wanted to see like, who was saying what and stuff. You were on the campaign trail. We did research. You know, we went to like, we watched hustings, like everything.

It was really fun. And, but man, it's so fucking stupid at the same time. Like, it was such a waste of time. But like, uh,

man, it's funny. It is funny. like, I mean, it just, you know, I guess democracy, like, is alive and well in Jersey, but then it's so stupid at the same time.

Is it just because no one lives there? It's all tax evidences. Is that the issue? No, it's people, people live here, but people are just, I guess, I guess most people are just really complacent with it, you know, like it's, I think we've just become accustomed to the same old all the time. And people just think it's just going to be more the same. It doesn't matter who gets in, Who cares? It's not that bad. You know, it's an expensive place to live in comparison to other places. They think it's more expensive to live here than it is in London, for example, which, I mean, that's kind of crazy.

But it is a small place. It is a tax haven. There's a lot of people that want to, like, store money here and be tax efficient here. But yeah, but nobody votes. Nobody fund cares. Like, I guess most people just have mostly what they need and they just think, fuck it. I complain all the time about how money is being mismanaged in the government, but I don't care enough to actually cast a vote for or against because half the time,

you just don't even know who's running. And then when you read their manifestos, they're all just saying the same thing. They just all say, oh, the cost of living crisis. It's like with no, no solutions, though. It's just I've found this problem. This is what I'm going to campaign on. And that's the whole thing. Basically, it was that.

You know what? I found the other week. So the London Bar of Richmond upon Thames is the sort of council authority for this whole area. And it covers like Twickenham and St. Margaret's and Richmond and like a couple of other bits and bobs. And it used to be run by this guy called Lord True. Did I talk about this sort of previous week? I don't think so.

It doesn't ring any bells to me. If you did, I forgot. Okay. I had an email exchange with him years ago where I emailed him. I emailed him basically slagging him off, like to his office email address at the council. And he responded personally, which I was surprised by. Yeah, normally they don't really respond. Right.

But he leapt to his own defense, sent me quite a long email because I was proper slagging him off. This was back when they were building new schools in the area. And we needed the Twickenham area was going through a massive surge of people having babies. Loads of people moving here and having babies were moving here with babies. and all the schools were fucking stuffed with kids. There's no good boy school around here. You've got to go all the way to Kingston. And that's private.

And then there's no boy school in Twickenham that's like worth a damn. And we wanted a new school. So they built a new school. And it was a Catholic school. And this annoyed a lot of people because we thought, why are you building a religious school when we just want a fucking school? Yeah. And his wife was like some big mucky muckie muck in the Catholic church.

She was like some Catholic church thing, and it felt to me like rank corruption that he'd done it because his wife wanted it. And I emailed him basically calling him a bunch of relatively unpleasant things. I wasn't cursing him out, but I was certainly being rude to him. He sent me quite a lengthy reply, defending himself. And then I had to mealy mouth to say, thank you for your reply. I appreciate it. I apologize. But it was quite funny at the time.

I must have had a lot more time on my hands about that. that I emailed the council about that. You would still doing this podcast probably, though. You probably were. You were doing this for a while. Let me find that email. It's before the podcast. I think this is before I did.

This was 2013. So this was, I didn't think I'd even really, no, because I kind of started in 2012 was when I started doing all the Dota guides and stuff. So this was two or three months from the point of this email.

I went to my first international. So this is the TI3 was three months away. Oh, throwing yourself into the deep end. politics. Was he like a local borough councillor? No, Lord True was like the head of the council. So he was like the guy. He was the boss of the country. He was the big boss. Lord True? Let's have a look.

What's he up to these days? Probably in the house. Nicholas True, Baron True. He has been a member of the House of Lords since 2011. So yeah, he's the shadow leader of the House of Lord. So he's done pretty well for himself. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. But yeah, he said he was the first person in his family to go to university, so he's not some big. rich dude. He probably is now, though. Yeah, no, yeah, for sure.

But they also were doing something at that time. We had the World, the Rugby World Cup, sorry to mention sport again, but we had the Rugby World Cup. Oh my God, he's talking about sport again. I know, I'm sorry. But we have the... The Rugby Football World Cup. Yes. And so they redid a lot of Twickenham because they realized that

foreigners are going to come here and think, holy shit, why is their train station such a dump? And why is the surfaces of all the road so terrible, which is true? And they fixed up the station, but they had to do a deal with this big developer that they were going to build all these flats on top of the station. And there was a lot of to do about that, a lot of people complaining. They did it. It's finished.

The station is now much better, and it's fine. But there was a lot of problems at the time. Their original plan was to build this monstrosity of a tower on top of the station. Huge. And that got shut down, luckily. But, yeah, Twickenham councils. The London Borough of Richmond on Pondtem's Council has been shipped for a long time. They had, like, meetings where they just slam the door and would let people.

in. Oh my God. You ever considered running? Well, where would I run too? Well, I mean, like just getting involved, you know, making a change. Making the change you want to see. I know. I'm an idiot. I'm the same.

I'm an absolute idiot. I think about it sometimes like, I wonder if I'd be like any good at that. And then I kind of immediately think, no, you know what? I would not be very good at at all. There's not a lot of things that I am good at. And I could add that to the list of things that I would definitely not be good at. I know that some people would say if you're going to complain about something, why don't you try and do better?

Yeah, yeah. But I have no interest in politics, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect me. Yes. Right? Like, you don't need to have any interest. My interest in politics is I like to just complain about them. And that's it. Oh, me too.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to fix anything. I love. I want someone else to fix stuff. This is a British pastime. Yeah. We want to complain about it. Yeah, yeah.

And do know what that's the way to do it, though? Things don't change. What's your thing to do you? talk about P-Flex, because otherwise I'll move on to lose news. Oh, I was working on an Adam Driver impression. Oh, I don't even know who that is. Adam Driver was in the new Star Wars movies. He was Kylo Ren.

Oh, Adam Driver, okay. Adam Driver. He's kind of a long boy. He looks Canadian. I only know him as Kylo Ren, though. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. He's done other things. He's got a terrible agent.

Let me hear your thing. So all I can do, this is Adam Driver saying his name. Okay. Adam Driver. That's it. He's not Irish. Adam Driver That's all I've got so far

Yeah, though that's great That needs more work That is great No, no, it needs a lot of work I'm workshopping it here with you guys I love that The other thing, Lulu I was looking at I was looking at London Lordnum

All right, you know Lordnum That thing that they used to give people For like pain? Yeah So it's basically it was made from opium Right So London Lordnum Which was 1618

The way they made it was It was opium But then they also added saffron, castor, amber grease, musk and nutmeg. And I just think it's interesting that at no point that anyone think, what if we took out the nutmeg? Because it's not doing anything. It's the main ingredient is the opium.

But this is how we always do it. It has to have nutmeg. Well, of course, it has nutmeg. It's not London Lord. But what if we took it out? I'm sure. You can't just make changes like that on the fly. I know.

Isn't this how they make like perfume with the amber grease and the mask and the saffron and that shit. So they're just drinking, they're just putting opium in perfume and getting people to drink it. I think it's just maybe to sort of make it seem fancier, because this is for rich people. I mean, Lordenum was for like, you know, they wouldn't just give it to everybody. They had this obsession with smell being like good for you. Do you think it was still the idea of the sort of the idea of the idea of humors? Yeah.

Yeah. I think, yeah. And I think the idea, certainly with that plague Dr. Mask, you know, the whole point of that long mask was that it had a big old load of flowers in the end of it and you were constantly smelling nice things that would overwhelm, you know, that would overwhelm so you didn't smell the

bad things. It was almost like... You had a pocket full of posies. They didn't really have an understanding. Yeah, that like, and they thought everything was spread by the smell, right? Right. And so this, I guess, would have been quite aromatic and therefore good for you,

right? It was definitely tied to that. Where did you come across that? That's mental. I know. Mad, eh? Lordnum. I guess it's just opium. It's just heroin.

It's just morphine. Yes. But I just think it's funny that they didn't think that opium was the main active ingredient. They still wanted to add the amber grease and the musk and stuff. It's just the weird the way they used to do that. The nutmeg ties it all together. Exactly. You need it.

Well, they want to mess with something that's working. That's it. It's one of those things where it's working. So why would you change it? But I guess over time they realized that really the opium was the, good bit. Anyway, what was your Lewis's news? Lose News. So if you buy bags of rice and ammo by the forklift, you might be familiar. Bags of what and ammo?

Rice and ammo. Rice and ammo. By the forklift. If you buy bags of rice and I'm reading this article, period. I'm sorry, it might be already familiar. Okay, okay. Are you like, you know these preppers, the survivalists? Yes, right. Yes. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. In South Dakota, called Vivas X-Point. Right. V-Vos X-Point.

V-Vos X-Point. It's a global shelter network, 18-square-mile off-grid compound with 575 concrete bunkers. The largest survival community on Earth. It's a former U.S. military base. My God. Wow. And people have moved in. It's a doomsday preppers paradise, right?

So if you pay $55,000, you get a 99-year lease on a shelter. You have to follow this long list of rules. And it turns out, though, that they can't avoid the Housing Association drum. No way. Because, you know, it's been crazy. There's been people getting shot. There's been people brandishing firearms over a dog running free. Someone's septic.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, they got shot over a septic system dispute. Listen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't want to be the last person alive with preppers. I'd rather be dead. I don't want to survive the apocalypse. It turns out that preppers can't handle any bit of hardship. Hundreds of the tenants sued saying they never got the gym they were promised and stuff like this.

Right. So it's like, you know, there's lots of people who are very unhappy in the largest survival community on Earth. Right. Quite frankly, it's just like every TV drama series, they all feel. fall out with each other immediately. Yeah. Look, they're not a sociable group.

In a doomsday scenario, this kind of place is the last place I want to go. That's true. They want to be on their own. People who don't like regular society are incompatible with other forms of societies. Well, who would have thought? I know.

It's insane. There's got to be somewhere for these people. Why can't they get along with anyone? What's wrong with them? I wonder. I'm going to be ready at any moment from. a collapse of civilization who can come at any time. Where are you kids going?

The movies. Take your prep bag, get your go bag, your daily carry. For God's sake, bring a gun. Like, they think everything's out to get out to get them all the time. So when you put them all in a community, like, he's looking at it before he's going for the rice. I love that. He's after my rice bag. Get my gun.

Yeah, my gun. They just, they're begging. I think these people are actually, they're not preparing for the worst and just being ready. They're a doomsday cult who would love the end of the world so they could be all I told you so about it and live in their bunkers and be like, you ain't getting into my bunker. I got a good. Yeah, no, I'm not getting into your bunker. You're right. Yeah, you can keep you going to melt out here with everyone else.

I'll die, thank you. I'd rather die. Yes, thank you very much. Anyway. So next up, New York police have been investigating mysterious cases of people. sort of dressed like the ninja turtles going in and out of sewer manholes in the city.

No. 10 inch mutant. So there's a lot of videos showing apparently eight people climbing out of New York City manholes. Right. I'm not sure. I never seen it.

Just to be fair, I watched a documentary a long time ago about people that live under the city. They're like the cave people. I saw that. I think I saw that. Yeah. Yeah.

In these old abandoned parts of the city that they live like underground, but it's like so fucking dark under there. It's horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's insane. Like, I don't know how anybody does it. And there's bits of it that they don't use anymore. And they've found ways to get in because obviously it's still got the air vents. If you lift one of those up, you're suddenly in a tunnel.

There's like a little storage room. There's an access room. There's like a, you know, what we used to have a power thing in there. It's all been stripped out. So they're just living in there. You're basically living in the premise of like every. Ghostbusters movie. Because always like an old abandoned part of the subway where some evil is festering, right? In Ghostbusters. Like that seems to be where the point of origin for all the ghosts,

except for the gozer tower. But all the other movies, it's it's some abandoned mine shaft or an old subway tunnel. Right. Sorry. Next up. Sorry to sidetrack. No, I'm just reading this next one. It's weird. Basically, you know how you pay for stuff on your card or your phone? Yes, sir. Reluctantly. Cash app.

Cash app. I don't know what that is, but that is a thing. I think I guess it's like PayPal or whatever. Sure. Is launching a magic wand that you can tap and pay for stuff. So you carry this magic wand around on your key ring. And you can tap it on stuff to pay with your magic wand. Right.

I like that. How is that different from my phone? Well, it's, It's like a kind of, it's like a, I don't know how it's different. I guess it's just annoying to carry around. But maybe you can go to Disney with your magic wand, and you can say, I want to pay £100 for that magic wand. I see.

I guess you buy things with it. So this is for people who are just with magic. Very extra. Is that right? I think so. I think it's a fun idea. So they want to walk around with a wand and buy things. Is that right?

Yes. Interesting. I purchase you. I purchased you. I purchased you. It's like you just prance around tapping things with your one. I guess you could have an NFC tag in anything. You could have it in a gun.

Like, you know. A gun, you say. I'm not my cash gun. Yeah, that's cool. It's like some sort of. I want to buy a big bag of rice and I'm going to shoot your machine and that'll pay for it. Pop, p, p, p, p, p, p. Yeah, that would be cool.

There you go. Well, maybe that'll work. That's the thing. I mean, I guess some people would love that. There's probably someone out there that would enjoy that. A fabulous fairy godmother. So the lovely Sam Morris, who puts together these prep notes, he puts together these prep notes.

And he's written this. This is the longest one I've ever seen on Luz News. And it basically is like about the bricks and mini figs story. Oh, God. Yeah. We're not even going to get into talking about this. because I'm waiting for the Netflix documentary honestly because I don't really understand

the fuck is going on. And also by the time we talk about it, it will have completely changed. There'll be another three videos by 17 different things and so they're all an hour and a half long. It's a big thing. I'm sure everyone listening to this is aware of it. Yeah, or at least aware of it happening

because they can't stop seeing it on the front page of ready. It's everywhere, yeah. But like, yeah, I'm not reading this. I just don't think it's, thank you, Sam, for putting together this page of it, but I feel like this is already out of date. Just to check, Sips, you know about it, don't you? What is it?

No, I don't. Do you not know anything about it? No, I don't know. When Lewis said that, I didn't. I don't even know where to point you towards it because it's mental. What is it? I'll give you a very, very, very brief summary. Okay.

So, a YouTuber called reckless Ben, gets contacted by a guy who's father was trying to sell a $200,000 worth of Star Wars Lego through a store called bricks and mini figs, which is a chain in America, apparently. Right. It's like they will sell your Lego for you and take a cut because then it's in the store and everything, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. New owner buys the store that they've done this deal with and have a contract with,

refuses to one of the contract. Chaos ensues. Right. And won't return the Lego says it's here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. It leads as like police corruption. Reckless Ben gets arrested in the end.

Like, it's nuts. It's this whole, whole, whole big to do. And now it's like a series of lawsuits and everything. It's pretty wild. Crazy. No, I've never heard of that. Oh, I always. Also, you know what? In Lose News, I do want to give one thing. There is some lad who was trying to organise a Triforce March through London.

10th anniversary, Triforce March. By the time this podcast goes out, it'll be too late. But it's this Sunday. And it's going through London. It's starting in Wandsworth around there. And it's ending up in... Well, they do in the city of London. I mean, I don't think he knows that we don't really have bodegas in... Why a march, though? Doesn't that? He just means corner. shops. They're doing basically like a pub crawl together, but it's, they're going to go to little shops instead. So they're just doing 10, it's a 10 mile walk. Right.

Okay. They're going to go across 10 bridges. Right. And then they're going to visit, they're going to go past 10. How many people have signed up for it? I think like five people. I have not signed up. Why not, man?

It's a chance to meet other people who hate talking about football and hate, you know, you should turn up and just talk about football the whole time. Man, that'd be so. funny. Like, they try to ask you like some question. You just always bring it back to football. Like you just, you're obsessed. You can't stop talking about football.

God, that'd be so funny. So they are finishing in Putney, which I could easily get to. I don't want to walk 10 miles. But it is tempting to get in full football kit and turn up and then just start talking. Oh, hey. With my football. Ingle. You can try out your Adam Driver impression on it.

Adam Driver, exactly. I love how that's all you've got. That is so good. I don't have any other text for it. Hopefully next time you would have had a chance to do some more. I've got to go, but thank you guys. That was a lovely podcast. Thanks so much.

It's a pleasure. It's a pleasure to see you all again. So have fun. Okay. And we'll love you. Goodbye. We'll reconvene a later date. We hope you can join us.

Goodbye. Bye. Goodbye.